One Day At A Time
by Rhinholtz
Summary: The anime ended when Vash returned with Knives but the story isn't over...not by a long shot. What will it take to finally achieve love and peace? And at what cost? 21 chapters plus epilogue. Will post one chapter per week.
1. Return

**A/n: **This story takes place immediately after the anime. Personally I feel (and many others do too) that the anime ended with too many lose ends and unanswered questions. Such as: what to do about Knives? For the record, I have never read the manga so this is strictly anime-verse only. Without further ado…this is my take on the next chapter of Trigun. Enjoy.

Disclaimer: I do not own Trigun. In fact...I own nothing. Nothing...

**Chapter One:**

**Return**

They ran as quickly as the soggy ground would allow them to. Millie was laughing as she ran. And Meryl couldn't deny the joy she felt either. Despite her confident words on his return, she couldn't deny that she had had misgivings about the situation. From what she had been told, Knives would be a terrible opponent. Lethal. The hope that a conflict that had spanned over a hundred and thirty years would be ended happily was slim. And then there was Vash himself. It was like pulling teeth trying to find that man. And he had never, never sought them out willingly. So despite all she had put on for Millie, Meryl had gotten little sleep the past few nights. And yet in spite of it all, there he was; waving to them. Joining in with Millie's joy, Meryl allowed herself a few laughs as well.

"Your back! Your back!" Millie excitedly said as they finally met.

"Yeah. I guess I am." Vash said rubbing the back of his head abashedly.

"I'm so glad! I've been worried to death about you. And Meryl's been too, although she would never admit it." Millie happily chattered away bouncing up and down.

"Is that..." Meryl tentatively began.

"Yeah." Vash said, shrugging him higher up on his shoulder. "Meryl, Mille...This is my brother. Knives."

Meryl silently studied the motionless figure that Vash was carrying with mixed feelings. He was alive, there was never any question about that, but the same thought frightened her a little.

"Gosh, he looks pretty hurt. We need to get him inside and get him taken care of." The tall girl said. Meryl smiled inwardly. Millie. Forever the compassionate saint towards others, despite whether or not the individual deserved it.

"Yeah, and I would like to go sit down too. He's heaver than he looks. I'm so tired!" He whined. They just smiled.

"Common then. Let's get inside. I see that you need patched up some too." Meryl said, crossing her arms and giving him a scolding look. He managed a sheepish smile and chuckled weakly.

She abruptly turned started towards their little temporary house before her emotions betrayed her. She heard the Vash and Millie follow suit. Millie offered to help carry Knives since Vash had already carried him for such a long ways, but he politely declined. The excited chatter around the well died down once they saw exactly who was approaching. There were various expressions of anxiety, distrust, and outright hostility. Murmurings began to break out among the groups. Their voices were low enough to count as private conversations but deliberately loud enough for them to hear.

"Great something to ruin a good day."

"Who's that other guy? Another victim?"

"Maybe we should just call the feds already before this town gets it as well."

"Common, let's hurry and get inside."

"As if it would help."

Meryl paused long enough to shoot them an acid glair then haughtily walked on. Millie sighed to herself; usually the town's people acted so nice, why did they have to be this way? Vash acted as if he hadn't noticed. The shade of the indoors was a welcome relief to the sweltering heat of the sun. The girls followed Vash as he stepped into the small bedroom and carefully lay his brother down on the bed. Then he sat down in the chair nearby with an exhausted sigh. Draped over a shoulder, they hadn't had a chance to get a good look at the man, but now they had a clear view of Millions Knives, the man solely responsible for their marooning on this sandy star. The similarities between the two brothers were incredible, Meryl observed. Height, build, face structure; they were clearly twins, if not close to identical. Seeing him now, unconscious and so closely resembling Vash, Meryl found it heard to believe everything she had heard about him. But then again she was clearly biased, she conceded to herself.

"Oh dear." Millie fretted. "I'll go get some water. He's going to need washed up and some clean bandages. It's so sad that it came to this. I could never imagine hurting my own brother." She paused for a moment, realizing what she had just said. "No I didn't mean it that way. I'm not trying to say you're a bad person Mr. Vash. Actually I think that you're a really good person. I was just thinking that it was awful that you two had to fight. But I guess if you could have talked it out you would have done that a long time ago, huh? I mean, I'm sure you tried and all but please don't get upset at what I said. My brothers have been great to me and all and..."

"Millie...."

"Don't worry; I know you didn't mean it like that."

"Ha ha. Ok. Good. Well I guess I'm going to go get everything." Millie left the room, giggling to herself.

Meryl smirked and shook her head slightly. 'What am I going to do with that girl?' she thought to herself. The smile faded away as she looked back to the figure on the bed.

"What now?" She asked Vash, who was looking at Knives himself. "You two obviously haven't worked things out or else it wouldn't have come to bloodshed. What happens when he wakes up?" Vash sighed, thinking to himself for a moment.

"He's going to be out of commission for a while, but not for long. I have to get him back to New Oregon and the Doc. We came up with a plan long ago about what to do with him if I ever got him. But since the plants were destroyed and the ship has crashed I don't know if it will work anymore." He said rubbing his neck, never taking his eyes off the still figure beside of him.

"Well we'll worry about that when the time comes. But for now first things first." She said with a smile, slightly stressing _we'll_. Vash picked up on it and returned her smile.

"Yeah, your right."

"Ok!" Millie announced, bursting into the room, arms loaded. "Let's get the two of you patched up!"

"Knives first. He's the worst off."

Vash insisted that he take care of him by himself, while the girls insisted that they could take care of it by themselves and that he should get some water and rest. Normally they could bully him into having their way, but this time he refused to back down. Eventually they had to reach a diplomatic solution that they would all do it together. They came to the truce delicately. Vash eventually caved in to the idea, but Meryl could tell that he would have disputed the subject further if he had had more energy to do so. The three of them tried to be lighthearted about the matter, but an unspoken unease hung in the air.

Once Knives was cleaned, properly bandaged, and dressed in some spare clothes that some of the towns people had loaned Vash, Millie announced that she was going to make some of her special homemade soup to celebrate and that she had better get started on it now or else it wasn't going to get done in time for dinner.

Meryl took out the used water and returned with a fresh bowl. "Ok mister. It's your turn." She said sitting the bowl down on the little night stand and placing her hands on her hips.

"Its just a few grazes, that's all. Nothing to worry about."

"You didn't even bother to bandage yourself up at all." She scolded. "With all that dirt, dried blood, and whatever else you could start to set up a serious infection and then it _will_ be something to worry about. Now you let me clean you up or else I'll get Millie in here to hold you down while I patch you up. And don't believe that I won't. Are we clear?" She said, crossing her arms firmly.

"I can do it myself you know." He pouted.

"It's a little too late to get bashful now." She said turning him around and began tugging at his shirt. "Besides, it's nothing I haven't already seen before."

There was no contest. It was either give in or face the short woman's wrath. Millie hummed contentedly from the kitchen, oblivious to the conversation in the next room. He sat with his back to her, facing Knives, while she gently washed off the old blood that had been smeared around and even more carefully; the bullet creases.

"Except for your shoulder, these aren't all that bad."

"Told you so."

"You know, with all the practice that you've been giving me, I could easily start up a career in nursing. I think I would be good at it." Meryl began, casually trying to strike up a conversation.

"Yeah but you would need to work on your bedside manner a bit though...Oww! That's exactly what I mean." He said in response to the light rap to the side of his head.

"Don't insult the nurse or else I'll have to call in Dr. Thompson." He laughed a little at this then fell into thoughtful silence once more. Meryl's smile faded as the silence stretched on. Now? Should I tell him now? _Could_ I tell him now? It was fine and well to think about it and plan what to say. But now that he was actually sitting here before her she could feel her nerve quickly wilting away. She was a little surprised when he spoke up first.

"Is she mad at me?" He asked her.

"Huh?" Meryl asked, completely taken by surprise by the question.

"Millie. Do you think she's mad at me?"

"No! Why in the world do you think Millie would be mad at you?"

"Because I didn't bring it back." He said softly. The realization of what he was talking about clicked into place. "It was hard enough to carry Knives all the way back here like this." He said, fingers unconsciously trailing up to the wound on his shoulder. "I don't think I could have managed to carry both. Maybe I should have tried. What if..." Meryl cut him off by lightly laying her hand over his fingers that were still placed over the injury.

"Vash, you should know better than that. I've known Millie for years. It's nearly impossible to get her angry...Although when she is people need to take cover." She joked. All she got in return was a halfhearted laugh. She pushed on. "She would be upset if you carelessly misplaced it or sold it for beer or something. But considering the circumstances, she understands why you had to leave it behind and she's not mad. If you don't take my word for it you should ask her yourself."

"...I believe you. But I still wish I hadn't had to leave it behind."

"I understand." Meryl said. And the hesitant silence reigned once more as they both remembered the one that should have been here with them.

--L&P--

She sat outside on the porch, softly petting the sleeping cat on her lap, staring up at the red moon as she did all too often theses days. The sun had set hours ago but she was in no mood for sleep. There was just too much going on in her mind to be able to rest. And she knew that back in the house someone else was refusing to sleep as well. Despite Millie's attempt to have celebratory dinner, the mood was quite subdued as they ate. Vash refused to leave his vigil over Knives so the girls opted to eat there in the bedroom with him. With the unconscious individual only a few heels away from them all of them spoke in quite hushed tones. Although there wasn't much conversation to be had.

"So what happened out there? I mean if you want to tell us that is." Millie had tentatively asked between huge spoonfuls of soup.

"I, uhh..."

"Not tonight. Maybe sometime later though." Meryl quickly stepped in to redirect the conversation from where it was heading. Although personally she was nearly rabid with curiosity, she didn't want to him to be pushed into a conversation that he obviously didn't want to have. He shot her a quiet 'thank you' glance and turned back to his bowl.

Millie, however, was tenacious and didn't quite pick up on the hint. "Hey! Your gun's gone! I just noticed. What happened?" Meryl was about to cut her off again when Vash surprised her by speaking up first.

"I left it behind."

"Huh?"

"What?"

"I didn't need it anymore. There was no need for me to hold on to it any longer." He said, mood lifting visibly. "Besides, everyone is better off with those things buried in the sand."

"Won't you miss it though? I mean, you've had it for so long." Millie asked.

"I suppose I might a little." He confessed. "But then again it's caused nothing but trouble, so I'm glad to be rid of it."

She could understand what he had meant by that, Meryl thought as she sat outside, still gazing at the moon. A weapon that could cause that amount of damage...it was probably a relief for him to abandon it. She still saw the moon burning and Augusta crumbling in her dreams. She could only imagine what he dreamt of.

Meryl pulled her gaze away from the heavens to the humble little house. She looked long and hard at it, as if trying to peer through the walls at who was inside. Part of her wanted to march in there and scold him for sitting up all night in that uncomfortable little chair when he should be sleeping. But another part of her was thankful for the nighttime vigil he kept over his sleeping brother for fear of their safety. Despite all that she had been told of him, and despite of what her mind adamantly insisted, she just could not view the man as evil. In fact, she suddenly realized, she felt sorry for Knives. They just looked so alike. The fact that Vash's goofy smile was completely alien to his brother's face upset her. A hundred and thirty years of hate and rage...she felt so sorry for him. How could he have lived like that? Why would he want to live like that? She sighed to herself. She didn't understand, nor did she want to really.

She gently lifted the cat off her lap and set it down on the ground. Annoyed, it lashed its tail at her once and strutted off into the night. With a final glance upward, Meryl got up and went inside. It was going to be a long day tomorrow.

--L&P--

"Good news everyone!" Millie announced, running inside.

"What?" Meryl asked, nearly finished packing the precious few belongings that they had. "Did you manage to find one?"

"What's that?" Vash asked, peering out from behind the bedroom door.

"I managed to find us a car! And even better...they're giving it to us for free!" She said excitedly bouncing up and down.

"You're kidding!"

"Wow Millie. The people here must really like you or something." Vash said stepping out and closing the door behind him.

"Yeah they do but that's not why they're going to let me have it."

"Why are they then?"

"Uh well...it's because they want us out of here as soon as possible." She said, fidgeting uncomfortably.

"At least they're giving us a car instead of running us out into the desert, guns blazing." Meryl said absently, trying to make light of it. "Asides from that one incident, the people here have been more than nice to us. By the way, where is the car Millie?"

"Oh it's still behind the store. I was so excited I had to come tell you guys right away. And I know how you feel about my driving Meryl, so I was going to let one of you get it."

"What about her driving?" Vash asked her.

"Long story. Long, long story. I still get nightmares about that day." Millie laughed a little sheepishly.

"Yeah. Now the only thing that Meryl lets me handle are thomases."

"Aww, common...You got me curious now. Let me hear it." Vash insisted.

"Nope, not now. We still have a few things left to pick up before we go."

"Pleeease..."

"No. Now move it. The sooner we get going the better."

"Alright." He sighed. Millie giggled at him. She would tell him herself, but Meryl told the story so much better. Besides, she had something else she wanted to talk about with him. But she didn't know how to approach the subject.

Meryl put all the dishes in the same spot that they had been when they had been loaned the house. Except for a single bowl that she filled with water. Everything was ready to go. Their things were in a rather small pile by the door and everything had been straightened up for the next lot that clamed the house. The only thing to do was to go over dressings of the two injured members of the party and they were ready to go.

She picked up the bowl and walked into the living room where the conversation hushed instantly. Slightly suspicious she looked back and forth between Millie and Vash. They, in turn, sheepishly looked back and forth between each other and her.

"What?" She asked slowly.

"I was just asking Mr. Vash here what happened to...uh..."

"It's ok Millie. I get it." Meryl said and slipped into the bedroom to give them the privacy to discuss what had become of Wolfwood's weapon. Before she had a chance to completely close the door she heard Vash again.

"You know you don't have to call me mister."

"Sorry. It's a habit." This was followed by a giggle.

Meryl let out an exasperated, but good natured sigh. Millie...you had to love her. She set the bowl full of water down on the nightstand, dropping the folded washcloth in the process. She sighed in irritation this time and knelt down to pick it up. She stopped mid-stoop, her eyes locking on with a pair of blue ones.

"It's ok that you had to leave it. Just promise me that one day you'll show me where it's at so I can have it again. It might be a little dusty, but I can shine it up real good! You'll see! I'm really good at that sort of thing." She said, already looking pleased with herself.

"Ok, I promise." He said with a smile. That faded, however, as the sound of a broken dish rang out in the next room. In an instant he was up and yanking the door open.

Meryl was desperately struggling in vain to pry away Knives'es hand that was clamped around her throat, but it was no use; he was hell-bent on murder.

"NO!" Vash cried out and rushed over. He tried to pry him lose but Knives was being fueled by manic strength and rage. "Let Go!"

Millie watched helplessly from the doorway as the horrible scene unfolded before her. Beginning to black out, Meryl fell to her knees, her face screwed up in a cry of pain and terror. Vash gave Knives'es arm a hard twist and the strangle hold was broken. Meryl fell backwards on her back then scrambled out of the room coughing and sputtering.

"You should have killed me when you had the chance you bastard! I'm going to make you pay For THIS!"

"Knives stop it! Calm Down!" But he didn't calm down. He continued to struggle against Vash'es restraining grip shouting obscenities at him all the while. But soon the stress and the straining of his injuries caused him to slip into quiet unconsciousness once more. Vash sat for a moment, breathing heavily, still holding Knives in a tight embrace. He had anticipated trouble whenever he awoke but he never expected him to come to so soon, and not like this. With a pained look he lay Knives back down. Instead of the almost peaceful look that he had had earlier while sleeping, Knives now had a slight grimace on his face. He had also broken out into a fine coating of perspiration. He couldn't let him wake up again before they made it to see the Doc. It was just too dangerous. They had got lucky this time. Next time...

He began to pick up the broken pieces of the bowl that was knocked over from the nightstand. It would be unwise to leave these sharp shards where Knives could so easily get to them. He looked back at his brother. The expression on his face fading as he slipped further into sleep. This wasn't going to be easy; Vash thought as he left the room and locked it behind him. He would just have to take it one day at a time.

He was surprised to see Millie sitting all by herself at the table, crying. "Millie...where's Meryl? Is she ok?"

"She... (sniff)...she ran outside behind the house... (sniff)...she said she wanted to be alone." Millie choked out, wiping at her eyes. "T-that was awful...he w-was so scary..." Vash sadly sighed, what could he say to that?

"Millie. Could you do an important favor for me?"

"Sure." She said shakily, wiping her eyes again.

"Could you run to the doctors and pick something up for me?"

--L&P--

Meryl sat on the porch out behind their little house, coughing and crying softly to herself. There was no mercy whatsoever. The way that he had looked at her...it was so cold. She hadn't done anything to provoke him; she didn't even have a chance to speak. As soon as their eyes had met he had lashed out and caught her by the throat. She couldn't even breathe much less scream for help. While she had struggled he had flatly stared, with that cold empty expression. No...It wasn't empty. There was hate in that look, and enjoyment, pleased that he was ridding the world of her. If she hadn't kicked the nightstand and knocked the bowl over...

She quietly choked on another sob, holding her neck with both hands. It hurt so bad! She drew her legs up and leaned forward, resting her face against her knees. As her hitched breathing slowly began to regain a normal rhythm she began to feel the strange sensation of being watched. She turned her head just enough to peer out with one eye and wasn't surprised to see a tall figure dressed in black waiting at the corner of the house. As he walked over she straightened up some, trying to put on a cool composed expression. She casually rested the back of her hand against her jaw, fingers strategically splayed out to block the view of her neck.

He came and sat down close beside her but didn't say a word. She didn't look up at him, keeping her gaze steady and forward. Despite her attempts to remain cool, as the silence spanned for several minuets she was the first to cave in.

"I'm ok. Really." She said softly, inwardly wincing at how hoarse her voice sounded.

"Are you?" He asked her, obviously not convinced. She nodded, not wanting her voice to betray her anymore than it had already. "Let me see." He quietly asked her. She didn't reply but when he pulled her hand away she didn't resist. He winced in sympathy at the sight of the angry bruises forming already. Four long ones across her neck, perfect finger prints. There were also small smears of blood where Knives had dug in with his finger tips. He felt his own composure begin to fade away as a single tear slowly trailed down the side of her face.

"I'm not mad." She said.

"Hmm?"

"I'm not mad. I know I probably should be but...I'm not" she paused for a moment as her voice began to hitch. "I...He...You..."She struggled to say. Words just refused to form properly. "...I'm so sorry!" She burst out, and then buried her face into her hands crying harder than ever. His entire story, everything that had happened...it all flooded back to her. She thought she knew, but how could she have ever known what Knives was truly like? She could just see it now, clearly. She could feel just how much Vash had suffered. She wasn't mad, she was heartbroken. She was crying for him, not herself.

"I'm so sorry." Meryl weakly said again, unable to properly articulate what she was feeling. "Y-you don't...didn't d-deserve..." she stammered out.

"Shh." he soothed, taking her in his arms. He understood everything that she wasn't saying, and it broke his heart that she was hurting so much for him. He held her closer and she turned and buried her face in his shoulder, her sob punctuated by the occasional cough as the crying irritated her throat. He rested his head against hers.

"Shh." he tried again after a while to calm her down. "It's alright..."

"No its not! Its not..."

"No. Maybe not now, but it will be. So please don't cry." He softly pleaded, trying hard not to do so himself.

"How can...any of it ever...be alright?" She said, calming slightly but still not moving away; and he didn't let go.

"Someone always used to tell me that the ticket to the future is always open. The future is what we chose to make it. Personally I'm going to go for a happy one," this elicited a small chuckle, "that's why I know that, eventually, it will be ok."

"Ticket to the future...who told you that?"

"Rem."

"Hmm. She was right."

"Yeah. She was. I had forgotten that for a while but I was recently reminded of it by a short woman with an equally short fuse to match." He joked, and was rewarded with a laugh. He was relived to know that she wasn't crying any longer.

"Thank you though. For caring." He said, finally loosing his embrace and looking down at her. She leaned back, wiping at her face with her sleeve. She opened her mouth to say something, closed it again with a sigh, then tried again.

"Your welcome." She said, unconsciously rubbing her throat.

"Are you sure that you're alright? Those bruises look..."

"Yeah. I'm fine." She waved the question off.

"Promise me, and the same goes for Millie too, that neither of you two will go near him. Not without me anyway."

"Yeah, that would be for the best. And speaking of Millie, I had better go apologize to her. I kinda just brushed her off as I went by." Meryl said, pulling away and sitting up straight again.

"She's not here right now. I sent her over to the doctors to get something that will help keep Knives sedated until we get to New Oregon."

"Then I had better go get the car. We need to get moving!" She announced, getting up and walking by. At the corner of the house she paused and looked back. He was still sitting there, smiling at her in a small way like only he could. She returned the smile before stepping out of sight.

The opportunity was there and she blew it. But still she couldn't fight the happy grin that spread across her tearstained face.


	2. Origins

**Chapter Two:**

**Origins**

Dawn was breaking just over the horizon. After several days on the road, Little Oregon was just an hour or so away. Vash yawned hugely while still trying to keep his eyes on the road. His driving shift had been over hours ago, but since they were so near he saw no need to wake anyone. During the first while of the journey he had sat in the back with Knives and had let Meryl drive, all the while catching up on some well earned sleep. He had woke with a start in the early hours of the morning when she had nearly run them off the road by dozing off at the wheel. Furiously embarrassed, she had insisted that she was ok and could continue to drive. She didn't argue her point very well as she kept trying to drift off even while arguing with him. One thing was agreed though, was that the needed to keep on moving; but the only way he could take over the wheel was if she took his place in the back seat with Knives.

The memory of the issue prompted him to check them in the rearview mirror, as he did every thirty seconds or so whenever it was his turn to get behind the wheel (after the recount of Millie's driving record that he had been so curious about, it was unanimously agreed that the task of driving should be kept between him and Meryl). She was asleep with her face pressed up against the window, scrunching it up comically. She was snoring softly, completely oblivious to the figure resting on her lap. With such a small car and such a tall man it was unavoidable. Understandably she was hesitant about it at first (as was he), but she gracefully took it in stride. Now that they were on their fourth day and without so much as a stir from the heavily sedated Knives, it was old news that she was a makeshift pillow.

He smiled and looked back at the road before turning his attention to the figure in the passenger seat. Millie slept bent forward, using one of their bags as a pillow that had an ever widening drool spot growing on it. She had been full of chatter on the trip. Millie had made it her personal mission to keep everyone entertained on the journey and to try to keep everyone in high spirits. A thorough scolding would befall the one who fell into a brooding, or even a thoughtful silence. Some of the lighthearted show had been for her sake, he had noted. But for the most part it was just one hundred percent Millie.

The road wore on, the sun rose in the sky, the girls stirred from their sleep, and they had arrived. The city was a whole lot more active than it was when they had left, but that was no surprise. They drove slowly through town, avoiding the pedestrians that seemed to have doubled in number, and onwards towards the ship.

"Wow. It seems a lot bigger that I remember it." Millie said, leaning out the window craning her neck up to take in the entire sight. As they neared, the ship towered above them; blocking out the sun. On the ground there was plenty of activity to look at as well. The slow and tedious process of stripping down the ship had begun. The actual deconstruction of it was still some time away. Those working here were still preoccupied with removing personal effects, supplies, and the necessities of getting by in the world below. The task of handling the moving of the technology would be left until last...or perhaps not at all. It was not an entirely unheard of situation. Many of the ships and the knowledge inside had been abandoned as people struggled to life their life day by day, unwilling to put forth all the effort towards something that they could do without.

Several curious individuals stopped what they were doing and watched as the car pulled up and was turned off. Millie was out of the car stretching her stiff legs in an instant.

"Ohhh, that feels better. I'm sore from sitting in that seat for so long."

"Let's go find that doc, or whoever you were talking about. Personally I'm sick of this car too." Meryl said while gently trying to lift up Knives and scoot out from under him.

"Uh..."

"What's wrong?" She asked Vash, who hadn't moved.

"I don't know how happy the people here will be to see me considering that all this here is my fault."

"It is _not_ your fault." Meryl said, lightly rapping him against the side of his head in an attempt to knock some sense into him.

"And besides...I can't just leave him here alone like this..."

She sighed. "What does he look like? I'll tell him you're here so he could come see you himself.

"Just go ask any of them where Doc is. They'll point you in the right direction."

"Alright. But don't you run off or go to sleep or anything like that." She chided.

"Scouts honor." He said smiling.

"Common Millie. Babysitting is a full time job." Millie laughed and trailed along.

Meryl approached the group of curious bystanders. They looked on with mild interest as the short woman marched right up to them.

"Were looking for the Doc. Could you please point out where he is?"

"And who are you missy?" A man with a gruff voice but open face asked her. "I don't recall seeing the two of you before. And who's in the car....?"

"Who I am is none of your concern. Do you know where he is or don't you?"

"No need to get like that. It was just a question. I'll take you to him. Follow me." The girls left the car and recovery crew behind and went right up to the metal behemoth before them. Instead of going inside like she had expected, the man took them to a series of monitors set up in a tent apart from the others.

"Knock knock." The man said, peering inside the open tent flap. A tired looking woman sat inside, fanning herself. She looked up from the monitors at the sound of mans voice.

"Oh, hey Jim. What can I do for you?"

"I have two lovely ladies here requesting to see the Doc."

"Really?" She said looking around Jim at the guests. "They know him?"

"It seems that way."

"We need to speak with him right away. It's urgent." Meryl said cutting through the banter. "If you could please take us to him already."

"Ok already. Sheesh, where's the fire? I'll get him on for you right now." The woman said then turned to a monitor off on her right. She entered something into the computer and moments later the image of a wizened old man appeared on screen.

"Yes? And what can I do for you Elsa?" He asked.

"I have a pair down here asking for you. Although they look like there outsiders."

"Now Elsa, that is no way to think. We are all in the same boat now. If anything _we're_ the outsiders." Meryl took the opportunity and jumped in.

"Excuse me sir, but we have something very important to discuss with you. Alone." She said pointedly looking at Elsa and Jim who was still hovering by the tent entrance. Elsa gave her a skeptical look, which Meryl returned with one of scorn, then looked back at the monitor to the Doc. He gave a short nod. Elsa shrugged with defeat.

"I was dying for some fresh air anyway." She tiredly said and walked out. Meryl waited until Millie gave her the thumbs up to signify that they were free of eavesdroppers, then began.

"Mr. Doc, sir. We came to tell you that Vash is back. Although he's a little nervous that everyone here will be angry with him."

"He's here huh? I do not blame him for being concerned. But please let him know that most of those bearing ill will have already abandoned this poor ship and have moved on."

"There's more sir." The Doc seemed slightly taken aback but nodded anyway.

"Go on."

"He has Knives." The startled expression that swept over the doc face was quickly replaced by one of concern.

"Is he alight? And what of Knives? How did he manage...?"

"Vash is alight, asides from a few minor injuries. We have Knives with us now. He's injured and heavily sedated. We've lost no time in getting here. He really needs to talk with you. Can you please come down here?"

"I'm on my way down." The little old man said and the monitor immediately shut off.

"That's an awfully long way down." Millie said looking up at the ship. "I wonder how long it will take him?"

"I don't know. Let's get back to the car." She said.

Elsa and Jim approached them as they left the tent. "Well did you get to talk to him?"

"Yup! He said he's on his way down." Millie said. Elsa and Jim exchanged looks. This was getting more curious by the second.

"Did you find him?" Vash asked as they approached.

"He said that he would be down immediately." Meryl reported. "Although he seemed a little worried."

"Yeah. I would say so."

"What is it that you're not telling us? What is this 'plan' and why are you worried that it won't work anymore? Is it because the ship crashed?" She asked him, trying not to sound demanding. He sighed and looked down at his hands.

"It's kinda difficult to explain..."

"I'm sure it can't be any more difficult to explain than when you told me all about yourself and Knives."

"Yeah, I guess so." He laughed.

Restless murmuring among the crowd drew their attention. A small group was coming their way. Upon seeing a familiar face in the group, Vash hopped out of the car, looking relived.

"Is it true? You actually stopped him?" The old man asked him, nearly running up.

"Yeah, but I'm afraid Demitrihi doesn't exist anymore." Vash said, looking slightly embarrassed. Then he turned serious once more. "I know things have changed, but...'

"Not a word more of it my boy. After coming this far I'm positive that we will find a way to make it work. And you will not be turned away through a fault that is not your own. Not while I am here anyway. We're here to help." The Doc said indicating the cluster of assistance in lab uniform who nodded in agreement. Vash'es mood instantly brightened.

"Alright then! What are we waiting out here for? Let's get going." He pulled Knives from the back seat and held him over one shoulder. Several of the assistance took a step back upon seeing Knives, but nether Vash nor the Doc was fazed.

"You wouldn't believe how hard it was to beat him." He chattered on happily.

"I can imagine, my boy, I can imagine."

"Hey...Aren't you two coming?" Vash asked the girls when he noticed that they hadn't immediately began to follow.

"You mean we're invited to come?" Meryl asked, feeling out of place in the setting.

"Since when have you started asking for an invitation?" He asked, puzzled. She huffed at him. "Common. I'll explain everything. You deserve to know, after all, I couldn't have done it without you two."

"Let's go Meryl!" Millie said taking her by the hand and tugging her along.

"Hey!"

--L&P--

The ship that had once been so full of life and activity was dark, Vash sadly noted, and deathly quiet except for the omnipresent hum. To save on power many of the lights had been switched off as well as entire segments of the ship. As they rode the lift up he couldn't but smile at those two who where taking in every little detail in quiet wonder. He was sure they would be full of questions later but for now the awe left them speechless.

Once they had arrived at the appropriate level the Doc ordered several of the others to go check and prep a cold sleep chamber. "What's that?" Millie asked as soon as the assistants had run on ahead of them. That was fast, he noted with amusement.

"How much technical knowledge do you have my dear?" the Doc asked her.

"None whatsoever." She replied almost proudly. Meryl gave her a look.

"A cold sleep chamber is like a capsule that a person can enter and be put in sort of a hibernation so that they can sleep for decades without aging or the need for food or water. The temperature inside the chamber is close to freezing...giving it its name." Vash explained.

"You're going to put him to sleep forever?" She asked horrified.

"No, no. It's just going to be for awhile. He's too dangerous to be left as he is."

"But he can't even walk? How is he a threat?"

"He doesn't need to move to be able to kill everyone here. And we need to buy some time until we have everything ready."

"Ready for what exactly?" Meryl asked.

"Let's get him tucked in first."

"Ahh! Your trying to make us wait to death aren't you?" the Doc chuckled at her.

"I don't believe I ever got your name my dear." He said in a comforting grandfatherly way.

"Oh, my name's Meryl Stryfe."

"And I'm Millie Thompson. It's a pleasure to meet you Mr. Doc."

"You can skip on the mister part Millie."

"Its habit." Meryl, Millie, and Vash said at the same time, and then laughed about it.

"We're ready for him now sir." a voiced announced over the com.

"And here we are." the Doc said as they neared two thick double doors.

*COLDSLEEP ROOM* it read in faded white lettering. The girls looked on in wonder. There was row after row after row of the capsules, rising up to the high ceiling. Meryl peered through the dome of the nearest one. There was nothing to be seen inside, although she didn't know if she was relived or disappointed about the fact. A row over the assistants waited. They stepped away as Vash approached. He lowered Knives in and began studying over the console; double checking for any errors--accidental or intentional. Satisfied, he sealed it and stepped back as frost began to spider web on the edges of the glass. He turned and motioned for the girls to come over. After a second of hesitation they stepped up and looked in.

"It _is_ cold." Meryl said touching the glass over Knives'es face.

"He looks...dead." Millis said content to simply look from where she stood.

"Trust me. He's not. All I have to do is hit a few hit a few keys and he would be out and back to normal in no time. Or normal as far as he goes." Millie chuckled weakly. It still looked too unnatural and abnormal in her opinion. She could imagine all of these things filled with people...like clear coffins. It gave her the creeps.

"Can we get out of here? I'm getting a chill."

"Ok." Vash said, understanding. He turned to the Doc. "Are you sure he'll be well guarded?"

"For both his safety and ours. I trust these men with my life." He assured. The assistants nodded, solemn and still somewhat intimidated. Vash turned and looked at Knives once more. After several quiet moments he turned and the four of them left the cold room and the sleeping man behind.

"Although it seemed unlikely at the time, the Doc and I came up with a plan of what to do with Knives if I ever did manage to stop him." Vash said as they walked down the dim halls, Meryl in step with him, Millie trailing behind Meryl, and the Doc several feet behind, watching and listening.

"But before you can really understand it, you've got to know a few things about plants. This is kinda awkward. Gee, where do I even start...?"

"How about the origins?" the Doc offered.

"Origins?" Meryl asked.

"How the begins we call plants came to be." He said. She looked from the Doc back up to Vash. He sighed, scratched his head, and began the story.

"This is so awkward...Well back when the human race was still on Earth they used the resources available too freely and irreparably damaged the environment (sheesh, I sound like _him_ now...). As a result most of the Earths wildlife died away. But there was one species deep within the seemingly desolate ocean that was not only alive, but _thriving_. Its name was _Bacterium Vitainfinitus-vis_...(Heh, that's a mouthful, isn't it?). Bacteria with infinite life power. It was named so because without any opposing life forms to kill it off anymore...it wouldn't die. Unless a deliberate attempt to kill it was made, it just went on and on. Its lifespan seemingly stretched beyond any other organism that Earth has ever seen. In fact, the original sample outlived the first generation of researchers that studied it. That in itself was a biologist dream, but there was something more still to the bacteria...A single bacterium was capable of producing incredible amounts of energy, which was dangerous because the bacteria would cluster together (you can imagine what kind of mess they had to clean up). A biologist by the name of Richard Evans had a theory. If an organism that lived on the simplest level could produce so much energy, what would happen if a more advanced species had the same abilities? He began genetically engineering the bacteria with other species...uhhh...think of it as crossbreeding. His theory was right. The more advanced the organism, though not necessarily the bigger, the greater the power output. His research was inevitably heading in one direction, and eventually he took the step; he took the genes of _Bacterium Vitainfinitus-vis_ and mixed it with that of _Homo-sapiens_...from his own DNA. I guess in an odd sort of way, if you look at it just right, Evans was my father...or at least grandfather. Hmm...whichever. _Anyway_...after some trial and error, plus some adjustments he had his result. What he got was an individual that would never die unless purposely killed, and that could produce enough power to fuel a city, or a..."

"Space ship." Meryl finished softly for him.

"Even a ship." He repeated, stopping in front of a door and pulling it partially open.

"What happened to that person...the first plant?" The question stopped him; he stared in the room for a moment then turned back to them.

"It was never allowed to wake up. They thought that it would be more humane if it just remained asleep. They thought the plant's power was infinite but as you know that's not true. Before they quiet got a handle on the technology, it was exhausted and died."

"That's awful!" Millie cried, tearing up.

"It is, but they quickly learned from their mistakes so they wouldn't kill anymore. In here, follow me." He said opening the door completely and motioning them inside. The inside of the elongated rectangular room was filled with computers, technology, and the like that Meryl had never even known existed, much less what they were for. But what really caught her eye was that down at the far end of the room were three, small-scale, functioning plants.

"For practical reasons, not all the plants could be the size of the ones you see powering cities." He said leading them on over to them.

"It makes sense." Meryl agreed. "Smaller craft would naturally need smaller plants; anything larger would just be in the way. But how would they control something like that?"

"By fixing the plant at a certain life stage they could control the size of it."

"Huh?" she asked. He smiled at her.

"Over here........Knives and I came from casings roughly this size." He said indicating one of the glowing orbs before them. "When we were broken loose, we were at the infant stage of life. Smaller plants are embryonic, while the larger ones are adult. Get it?"

"You mean inside this, right here..." She said putting her hands against the glass (it was so warm to the touch, she had never touched a plant before-or one that wasn't walking around eating doughnuts anyway), "there is a...baby? Why don't you let them out?" She asked, slightly mortified. He hadn't gone into this much detail when he was telling her about himself and Knives. It was a bit much to take in. Vash sighed and crossed his arms, troubled.

"We've tried. Knives and I, and even the Doc here. When we let them out...they don't wake up or...perhaps they just refuse to. I can usually get them to...react, but once they are out of the protective environment that they are cased in they are unresponsive and slowly began to waste away. We tried everything we could to keep them alive, but it never worked. Eventually we quit trying."

"But you...you're here." She said confused by the seeming contradiction, looking from him to the plant she was still touching. "Why did you and Knives begin to live while the other ones just died?"

"Honestly I don't know. The seeds crew couldn't figure it out either. Maybe it was just fate..." He trailed off, becoming lost in thought.

"Vash." Millie asked stepping up. "What did you mean 'get them to react'? I thought you said that they just stay asleep forever." He remained quiet, thinking, then with an idea he slowly broke out into wide grin.

"Just a few doors down the hall, there's something else I want to show you two."

They followed as he left the room, went past the few aforementioned doors and stopped in front of a pair of massive steel doors with '4' painted on them. "In here." He said entering something into the panel on the wall. The doors opened quickly with a whoosh. There at the far end of the room was a plant taking up most of the view at that end of the cavernous room. They automatically followed him inside; the Doc stepped in but stopped by the door and watched.

"Numbers one and two were destroyed in the attack, but three and four survived. They're not enough to make the ship fully operational, but its enough to keep it running for right now until they're carefully removed so they can power the city. Would you two like to see him?"

"Him?"

"Yeah, this ones a he."

"I...uh...I'd rather not. No offence or anything but I...uh...it's just that..." Millie stammered out, shying away.

"Aw common. How about you Meryl? Pleeeease?" He looked at her expectantly green eyes dancing, his hand held out for her. As if she could say no. Despite the fact he was asking her, she really wanted to see it anyway, to know and to...

She took his hand and they went up the stairs until they were close enough to touch the glass. Tentatively, she reached out and touched the glass. It was just as warm and soothing as the smaller one. She leaned in close and cupped her hands but she couldn't see much of anything through the white haze.

"Vash I can't..." She said turning to him.

"Just a second." He said. She watched as he placed both hands on the glass and rested his forehead between them and closed his eyes. She watched, puzzled, curious, and apprehensive all at the same time. Softly at first but gaining in strength, an unnatural but not unpleasant sound began to reverberate through the air. It was a sound, but she felt it more than anything. Meryl was about to ask what was happening, but movement caught her eye. Movement from behind the glass.

Hands, soon followed by a face, slowly came into view. It stretched out towards them, stopping only when it came in contact with the glass. Vash drew back a little bit so he could see better, keeping his hands placed on the glass where the plants hands rested on the other side. Number four observed him with bright undefined eyes. A faint buzzing in Meryl's head told her that she had been forgetting to breath. She took a few shaky breaths but froze again when the plant turned and looked at her. It moved away from Vash until it was directly in front of her, head slightly tilted to the side in the universal expression of confusion. The resonance in the air took on a different note. Shakily, she reached out and placed her hands on the glass as Vash had done. The plant hesitated for a moment then placed its hands directly across from hers. She splayed her fingers. So did he. She smiled and rested one hand against her cheek, and again it mimicked her.

"He likes you." Vash whispered to her, the smile evident in his voice. She didn't reply; she couldn't. The plant placed its hands together as if it was preparing to pray, then tilted its head at her expectantly. She followed its lead. Smiling, the plant turned away from her back to Vash.

"Ok." He said. "That's enough for now." He said, placing his hands on the glass and leaning forward again. Number four slowly retreated away and the room became silent once more.

Abruptly Meryl turned and began walking down the stairs, but she was shaking so hard the coordinated action was a little beyond her at the moment. So she just sat down half way down them. Out across the room Millie and the Doc stood, partially hid in the shadows. She almost burst out into laughter at the sight of her tall friend trying to hide behind the small man.

"Hey. Are you alright?" Vash said, sitting down beside her. She tried to give a thumbs up, but her shaking hand betrayed her so she settled for a quick nod instead.

"I'm sorry. I didn't think it would scare you. Nothing ever scares you."

"I wasn't scared." She huffed defensively. Ignoring the amused knowing look she went on. "Its just that I...I..." She struggled to find an appropriate excuse and was failing. "It's not what I expected. I don't know what I _did_ expect but it wasn't that. That and I'm wondering why."

"Why what?"

"Why are you telling us all of this?" She said turning to him. "It was like pulling teeth to even find out your name. And then you were trying to get rid of us at every turn, always hiding things. Then...you actually came _back_ instead of leaving us behind at that town. And now you're telling us all of..._this_! And I haven't had to threaten or hunt you down once." He just laughed away at this. She felt her temper begin to flair up but then he gave her a rather unexpected response.

"It's because I'm not afraid anymore."

"What?"

"When I first met you two I didn't know if you were after the bounty or not. Then I wanted to get away because you were always to mean to me." Ouch, she thought. "When the Gung-Ho Guns showed up I had to go or else they would have killed you two just for associating with me. After Wolfwood...when I told you everything...you didn't laugh at me or call me a liar, or runaway so I knew you would understand all of this. Then after L.R...Well I guess that it's just nice to have friends for once. I hate being alone, and I hate lying to people. That's why I wanted to show you two all of this, because you know the truth but still accept me anyway."

Before anything more could be said, Millie was in tears and giving him a bone crushing hug, her fear of the plant behind them forgotten. "Of course we care about you silly! That's so sad! How can anyone not care about you! Asides from Meryl you're my bestest friend in the world!" She rambled on, all teary.

"Can't...breathe..."

"Opps. Sorry!" She laughed releasing him.

"S'okay." He said, though he began rubbing his sides.

They left the plant room to find a more comfortable sitting room in one of the abandoned living quarters. The cushy chairs and well lit room made everything more comfortable and homey. The calm atmosphere of the apartment was dulled however by the serious nature of the conversation that was currently going on.

"Knives can be deadly enough with a gun but like Vash said before he doesn't need a weapon to cause a lot of damage." the Doc began.

"It's because he's a plant, isn't it?" Millie asked.

"That's right my dear." He confirmed. The girls knew first hand what that was like. His followers and the mind control he could inflict were pretty frightening.

"He could do anything from manipulating peoples minds to causing the plants like three and four to overload and destroy everything in the area." Vash said, picking up where the Doc left off.

"But I though his purpose was plant supremacy. Why would he kill them?"

"In his mind it would be a necessary sacrifice. Collateral damage."

"Noble. Is there anyway for you to block his power?" Meryl asked.

"I don't think I could. He's had a lot more practice at it than me. I've never really got the hang of it."

"Then what are you going to do? You can't keep him in coldsleep forever. Eventually something would go wrong, and he would get out. And be pissed off, I bet." Meryl said, fingers trailing up to the fading bruises on her neck.

"No. We're not keeping him there..." He sighed deeply and went on. "We're going to kill him."

"What?" The girls shouted in unison. Meryl couldn't believe what she had just heard; especially coming from this mans mouth.

"Not kill as in 'Bang! Your dead' but were going to pull so much energy from him so quickly he can't regenerate his power. A dead plant. But unlike the other plants he'll be able to live by his human physiology. No power, no funky mind control, just...normal."

They were speechless for a moment. Millie was the first to recover. "Wow. I'll bet he'll be ticked off by that."

"Yes but my dear there is no other way. As Ms. Meryl said, coldsleep will only last so long. The only other options is this...or to end his life."

"I don't want to hurt him. I don't. But he's left me no choice but to do this. Dammit Knives!"

Uncomfortable with Vash'es uncharacteristic display of anger, Meryl quickly turned to the Doc. "How are you going to accomplish this? And I gather that your plan has been compromised by the loss of plants one and two."

"Right you are my dear. Without the two plants we don't have enough power to perform the procedure. To do so now would only stress the remaining plants to their exhaustion point."

"Why can't you just use the little plants and the guns too? They have plants in them right?" Millie asked them. "If it was enough to destroy July and Augusta (no offence Vash), I'm sure it will be enough for what your trying to do."

The Doc and Vash just stared at her. "The guns..." He thought quickly, weighing the possibility of it.

"They draw their power from us when the angel arms are activated, but they do have some energy of their own..."

"It's a long shot, but combined, it just _might_ be enough to go through with it...It's not a very likely possibility but it's the best we have at the moment." The Doc said, mulling over the possibilities himself. "We need to run some tests to see if the guns will produce an adequate amount of energy. I'll get started on it immediately." He said hopping down from his seat, and walked over to a visibly uncomfortable Vash. "Well, let's get going. Let's not dawdle when we are so close. Where are they?"

"Well...uh..." Vash mumbled, becoming increasingly interested in the arm of the chair. "I, uh...I kinda left them behind...at Demitrihi..." Meryl sighed, covering her face with her hand. Millie simply cheered.

"WooHoo! Another road trip! When are we going? Can we go now? It's cold in this place. Let's get this show on the road!"

--L&P--

They didn't set out immediately; they had just arrived and were exhausted from the trip. After dinner and a quick tour of the accessible areas, they each picked out and abandoned, but usable, living quarter and settled in. Millie and Meryl spent most of their time talking and working together to straighten up their rooms (it was only for now, but why stay in a wreck?). Vash, on the other hand, went off with the Doc to discuss what the girls assumed to be technical matters and the sort (and to stay in the coldsleep room, Meryl suspected), so they let him be.

The power in the ship was being used sparingly so it was pretty basic. A light, a small cooked meal (most of the supplies had already been toted off, it was a real hunt to find anything), and then bed. The ventilation was running but it was _cold_ inside that huge steel structure, hidden from the warmth of the desert. They ransacked the surrounding quarters for more blankets then retreated back to try to catch some sleep. But considering all that had taken place, little sleep was to be found.

As the girls slept, two wakeful figures were quietly conversing between themselves elsewhere in the ship.

"Sorry to come back here asking all of this at once. And then I gotta take off again tomorrow too to beat it all."

"There's nothing to apologize about my boy. I'm just thankful that things have turned out the way that they have instead of the way that I feared." The Doc said, not looking up from his work on repairing the prosthetic arm that he had only completed yesterday it seemed. Vash lounged back in his chair on the other side of the lab, watching the old scientist as he worked. He had offered his help in repairing it, although his offer had been kindly turned down. He couldn't do too much with only one hand anyway. But still he felt bad for just sitting there while his friend did all the work.

"And I'm sorry that the arm got so damaged. You probably worked a long time on it too."

"It's no trouble. Besides, I'm glad that the damage was done to the steel and wires before me rather than its flesh and blood counterpart."

"Yeah, you got a point there." Vash laughed, thankful for that fact as well. The Doc didn't respond back. Little clinks and clicks punctuated the silence. Vash fidgeted around, trying to let the man work in peace but the quiet soon became too much for him.

"Do you think I did the right thing in telling them all I did today?"

"Hmm? What do you mean?" The Doc said, finally looking up from the tools and parts strewn over the table.

"Well it was a bit much to throw at them all at once. I mean, they knew some of it, the basic jist you know? But not that much, and not in so much detail."

"You believe that you shouldn't have told them? They're your friends, are they not?"

"They are, it's just that...you know...they seemed a little wearied out by it. Not that I blame them." He said with his head bowed. The Doc surprised him by chuckling.

"I think that their stunned reaction came not from _what_ you were telling them but by the very fact that you _were_ telling them."

"Huh?"

"You're a very secretive person Vash. There was not all that many here on the ship that knew your real story, much less anyone out on the planet. I myself am a little surprised that you disclosed so much to those two. The three of you must be close."

"They stuck by me when everyone else would have left long ago...or would have killed me one."

"That is what friends do after all."

"Yes but why would they? All I ever do is annoy them, or get them in trouble, or try to leave them behind. Why would they want to stick around? Bernardelli can't pay _that_ good." The Doc laughed heartily at this.

"Have you ever bothered to ask them?"

"Uh, no...Not really."

"Why don't you give it a try? The answer may surprise you." The Doc asked, looking at him expectantly. When all he received in response was an uncomfortable silence he kindly changed the subject.

"And speaking of giving something a try, I do believe that I almost have this completed. Care to come take a look?"

"Sure." Vash said, glad to be off the hook for now, but the questions lingered unspoken. Why would they stay despite...everything? And why didn't he want to know? It was that question that bothered him the most. Why didn't he want to know? He only halfheartedly looked over the Doc's work. The arm was reattached, reloaded, and the little scientist declared that he was going to call it a night. It was a busy day today after all. Instead of going straight to his quarters Vash had one other stop to make first.

He received a curt nod from the two guards that stood on either side of the door that read COLDSLEEP. He stepped on through, both pleased and saddened by the fact that the guards were truly serious about watching over his unaware brother. He stepped up to the capsule that held Knives and looked on at his brother. Millie had said that he looked creepy, dead. But to him, Knives just looked peaceful. All the hate and rage that tore at his soul was, if only temporarily, pushed aside by the technology that mercifully didn't allow dreams. What would he dream, Vash wondered. Would they be dreams of murder, vengeance? Did he even have something to dream of that was happy? Did he even remember what it felt like to be happy? Vash leaned forward against the glass, much like he had with plant number four, except this time he didn't try to reach out. It wouldn't have made a difference, even if Knives could have heard him. A solitary tear slowly made its way down his face. His brother, his poor brother. Removing the danger that he posed to others was just the first step. The true trial would begin whenever Knives once again opened his eyes. Then Vash would see if he truly can save his brother or not.

--L&P--

In the morning, soon after the sun had risen, the three had loaded up into the car again. With fresh supplies, some money, and many farewells and assurances from Doc and the others they took off again towards the one spot on this sandy star they thought that they would never have to think of again.

Meryl dozed in the passengers seat, leaning heavily against the door. She had fought going to sleep as it was still early in the day, but lost to the hypnotic hum of the engine and the endless miles of repetitive scenery. Vash and Millie were quietly going on about something, and Meryl had a sneaking suspicion that it was about food, but she ignored them and let herself drift away. Soon though the soothing sound of the engine died and there was a hand on her shoulder shaking her gently awake.

"Meryl, Meryl...Wake up. Were here." Millie said whispering.

"Clause forty two?" She mumbled groggily.

"She even dreams in insurance? Wow that must be boring."

"Heh heh, she always does that. Common Meryl get up." Millie said, shaking her more roughly.

"Stop it." Meryl swatted irritably at her. "I'm up." She tugged at the hem of her skirt which had started to hike up and got out of the car. The others were stepping out as well.

Vash watched as the expressions on their faces turned from confusion to awe. The vast crater lay before them over what had once been a geo-plant.

"It's huge." Meryl whispered, looking over all of it.

"Oh my gosh...there's nothing left..." Millie said, shocked as well.

He grew a little uncomfortable at the sight of the destruction that he and Knives wrought, but decided to shrug it off. Something nagged him in the back of his mind though, something that he couldn't quite shake. "It's on foot from here on. We'll never get the car in and out of that. You ladies are welcome to stay here...if you don't mind waiting that is."

"No. Three pairs of eyes will get the job done faster." Meryl said, right as usual.

"Well, let's go!" Millie exclaimed, grabbing their hands and tugging them onward.

Once they had arrived at the center they separated and began to hunt. Millie immediately spotted some red amidst all the sand and went to fetch it. She pulled the red duster up from where it had been buried partially in the sand. She insisted that he put it back on once it was repaired, saying that Meryl had worked hard to fix it up and that it suited him. Knowing that it was useless to argue with her, he complied much to her contentment. But as the search dragged on all they had to show for it was some charred chunks of wood.

One hour turned into two, then into four, then they finally had to concede to the truth; the three guns were missing. Someone had beaten them here. The nagging feeling that he had turned out to be correct, although he hadn't wanted to admit it. He had sensed nothing of the little plants out here in the old battle field. Someone had taken the weapons. And whoever had them didn't know what they were dealing with.

"This is bad." He said mostly to himself, pacing. "We need to find out who took the guns before something serous happens."

"But what's wrong? I thought only you and Knives could use the angel arms. What's the danger if someone else has them?"

"In someone else's hands, there is no threat asides from a bullet. But they would have realized what was in the guns. What if some scientist tries to experiment with them and hooks them up to a plant?" The full implication of what he was talking about hit them then. If someone did decide to go poke around with the destructive technology that Knives had created the results would be...catastrophic.

"Let's hurry and get to town. Maybe they can tell us if anybody has passed by recently."

Agreed, they left the dusty war zone behind and made record time to their once surrogate home.

--L&P--

"I thought we had seen the last of you three. Why don't you just leave us the hell alone?" One of the five milling around outside of the bar shouted at them as they approached. The sudden outburst stopped the three in their tracks as well as terrifying the sleeping cat by the door.

"That wasn't a very nice hello." Mille chided, slightly hurt as the man was one of her former coworkers.

"It wasn't a hello. Why don't the three of you just turn around and go the way you came. Away from here." The man spat. There were murmurs of agreement from his friends. Another soon spoke up.

"We've had nothing but trouble since you showed up. So just move on."

"We have no intention of staying, thank you very much." Meryl said sharply, angry. "We just wanted to ask you a few questions. That is if it doesn't cut too far into happy hour."

One of the men in the back swore. "Questions? If you knew how stinking sick of damn questions we were you wouldn't come her asking us nothin'!" He said slurring heavily.

"Questions?" Vash asked. "Who's been asking you guys questions?"

"And about what?" Millie piped in.

"Oh somebody's been asking around all right." The first man said, grinning mischievously. "And about _you_ none the less." He said pointing directly at the gunman.

"WHO has been asking about him?" Meryl demanded, patience gone.

"Just the Calvary that's all...it's a pity you missed them. They took off about a week ago back to January."

"The Calvary? They were here?"

"Damn right. Rumors spread fast. Especially when they have _your_ name attached to it." Vash pulled the girls away and into a little huddle.

"This is even worse than I thought it would be. The Calvary was sure to find the guns and know exactly what they were used for."

"That would be obvious, considering the mess that you and Knives made."

"Well what are we going to do?" Millie asked. "It's not like they would just give them back if we asked."

"There are probably engineers poking around with them now."

"I think you two are jumping to conclusions. We're not even certain if the feds were the ones in Demitrihi. For all we know it could have been some drifter."

"You know we never get that lucky Meryl."

"Point taken." She conceded.

"And I thought I was doing the world a favor by leaving those things in the desert. Why does everything always have to come back and bite me on the..."

"There's no point in getting worked up. We need to go about this methodically."

"How do we do that?" Millie asked her.

"First, we need to know if there was anyone else around. A bounty hunter drawn in by the rumors for instance. If no, which I personally doubt as well, we need to find out for certain if the Calvary even _has_ the guns."

"How do you suggest we do something like that? Something tells me that that wouldn't exactly be the kind of information that they just give out."

"One thing at a time. We'll figure it out when the time comes. But first we need to finish here, then we need to get to the fed HQ in January."

"Nothing can ever be easy, can it?"


	3. January

**A/N: **I would like to thank everyone who has taken the time to read my fanfic, and those who have given reviews (hint hint). Things are really starting to pick up now so buckle up and enjoy the ride.

**Chapter Three:**

**January**

The slums of January were miserable and wore down. In a city of such magnitude, areas of the poor and unfortunate were unavoidable. As much as they disliked having to stay in the seeder areas of the city, they had no choice but to try and keep a low profile considering that it was the federal capital of the world and one of the three was the most wanted individual in the world.

Having no idea how long their stay here would be, they opted to rent a small barely furnished apartment instead of jumping from hotel to hotel. The apartment was a mess of peeling paint and cracked walls. It had a bare kitchen, a nightmare that was otherwise known as the bathroom, a bedroom, and windowless sitting room. The only furniture was a single small bed and a stained couch with the stuffing coming out in places. The three of them had sighed at the poor state of their temporary sanctuary, but it was cheap and had no neighbors, further reducing the chance that Vash would be spotted and recognized. Although they were all aware of the necessity of staying in the slums and the pathetic excuse for an apartment, it didn't mean that they had to be happy about it. This combined with the exhaustion of constant travel made conversation somewhat tense as they went over their options.

"We don't even know if they have the guns." Meryl said for what felt like the hundredth time. The girls sat on the couch (which had springs poking painfully through the thin material) while Vash sat on a small crate that they had found in the alley. A single uncovered light bulb dangled from the ceiling.

"Where else would they take them? I know if I were them there would be no way I would pass on showing this to my higher ups."

"Like you said, they might send it to some plant engineers to try and figure them out. It would be pointless for us to kill ourselves trying to get those guns back especially if we don't even know that their in there in the first place."

"After July and Augusta there would be no way that they would let those things out of their sight. There is probably every security known to mankind and several known to cats placed on those guns."

"How are we even supposed to find this out?" Millie asked, joining the verbal tennis match. "Perhaps we could catch someone who works there and ask them?"

"No way Millie. I doubt that they would tell just anyone that worked there. And besides, it might raise suspicions if one of their people goes missing. They're probably already on high alert against the possibility that the guns would be reclaimed by the owner."

"Well they would be right." She said.

"Millie..." Meryl warned, patience failing.

"If I could somehow sneak in there..." Vash mused.

"Uh-un mister! They would gun you down before you got within fifty yars of that place. Don't you even think about it!"

"I can be sneaky when I have to be." He said defensively. "And besides, how else are we going to find out? You can't just walk up there and ask them."

"I won't have to; they'll tell me what I need to know." She said as a matter-of-factly, crossing her arms.

"What?"

"_You_ can't go in there but there is no reason that they would arrest me."

"No way Meryl. No."

"Just hear me out. It's not as if we have plenty of options to choose from." She took his unhappy silence as her cue to continue. "It would be easily verifiable by Bernardelli that I was to be traveling with you, so that would ease suspicions about how I know you. If I could get to talk to the higher ups, uhhh, hook them on some lie like I knew where you were heading then I might get my chance to find out if they have the guns or not. Best case scenario would be that they would ask me to verify that they were yours since I'm familiar with you. I know that personally I would want proof." She said getting up off the uncomfortable couch.

"No. It's too risky. We'll just have to think of something else." He said flatly.

"Like what? What? And how would it be risky? It's not like I would be going in all ninja-assassin style. Just in the front door, lie, out the front door. No risk involved."

"There are too risks involved. Big ones." He said standing as well.

"Like what?"

"Well for one they could find out that your lying and then you would be sentenced to jail or worse just for being associated with me."

"How would they find out?"

"And besides, it wouldn't solve the problem of retrieving the guns anyway. Just forget it. I'll think of something on my own." He said, turning to leave. She reached out and grabbed his arm, stopping him

"And what? Leave us behind while you walk into the lions den? No!"

"Well I'm not going to let you do it."

"What's so horribly awfully bad about letting me help you for once? Is it some male ego thing or do you not think I'm capable? Or both? You would have let Wolfwood." Meryl regretted the words as soon as they were out of her mouth. Millie looked away uncomfortably. As true as it may have been, it was still uncalled for. She started to apologize but stopped once she saw that his resolve against her plan was weakening.

"Look Meryl...it's just that it's too dangerous."

"No. _Your_ idea is the dangerous one. With my plan the worse that could happen is that they could detain me for questioning. But its not like they could make any charges stick, I'm with you on agency orders after all."

On agency orders after all. The words stung. It made an aching empty feeling settle in his stomach that had noting to do with being hungry. He sat back down on the crate, suddenly very tired. Meryl pressed on, unaware of what her words had done. She took his action as one of surrender.

"Just please consider it. I wouldn't have even suggested it if I hadn't thought it out thoroughly first. There's not much else we can do at the moment."

He sighed, leaning forward with his elbows resting on his knees and his face pressed into his palms. "Alright." He said after a long pause. "But I have several conditions."

"Such as..."

"For starters...you're not going alone."

-L&P-

Meryl walked along the sidewalk alone, drawing inexorably closer to the headquarters. For all the confident airs that she had put on, the closer she got to actually going in there the more nervous she became. Although she refused to show it. It was the very morning after their decision had been made. There would have been nothing to gain by drawing this out, as each day they lost could cost them. She absently reached up and scratched her ear, annoyed by the unfamiliar sensation at the top area.

_"What was that?" _A tiny voice from seemingly nowhere asked. Meryl ignored it and walked on, purposely ignoring the other pedestrians.

_"Hey. Meryl. Can you hear us?"_

_"Heeellooo..."_

"Yes I can hear you." She whispered through clenched teeth. "I just don't want people to look at me like I'm crazy because I'm talking to myself."

_"Oh...So, what was that noise?"_ The tiny voice that she recognized as Vash'es asked her.

"I just scratched my ear. This thing's bugging me." She whispered, resisting the urge to scratch again. She had to make the earring seem like a natural part of her attire. The little decorative transmitter was more suitable and less suspicious than its pen shaped counterpart, but still the earring irritated her. She missed her own but the colors would have clashed. It was slightly too big for her, especially for a top piece, but because it didn't have a mate it couldn't be worn normally. Her hair served well in covering it up mostly, and the silver went nicely with her white outfit.

Meryl had weakly protested at Vash'es insistence that she wear the little communicator but easily gave in. Inwardly she felt more secure that she wouldn't have to be alone on this mission, even if her company was only the tiny voices of her friends. Wearing the radio wasn't the only condition, as she had suspected, but she was also _Not_ to act if she did find the guns.

"It doesn't matter if it is a perfect opportunity, don't try to take them or do anything else that would make them suspicious." Vash had told her for the fifth time. He still was uneasy about this, but Meryl would not be dissuaded. She had even threatened to go off and do it anyway, with or without his blessing. And he had a feeling that she wasn't bluffing. It was either restrain her or offer what little support he could.

"I _know_." She sighed, amused at his worrying. "Where would I hide them anyway?" She asked opening her arms to show her snug outfit. He looked but didn't say anything. "You pervert!" She yelled, moving in to hit him.

"I don't really like this either Meryl." Millie said, unhappy at being left behind. At first she was dead set on coming too but Meryl had told her no. What if they were separated and questioned then? The stories wouldn't match up and then they would really be in hot water. Millie had seen the logic in this, but that didn't mean that she had to like it.

"Will you two cut it out? You act like I'm going into a battle or something. And I'm slightly offended that you don't have much confidence in me." She said in mock indignation, trying to lighten the mood. It failed. "Common. Can't you at least _act_ like everything's going to be fine?"

"Just...be careful. Alright?" He had said, looking down at her, face filled with worry.

"Wish me luck." She said brightly then had turned and left them in the narrow alley before her nerve broke.

_"Hey Meryl, are you almost there yet?"_ Millie piped up from the tiny communicator. _"Opps sorry, I forgot that you're not supposed to answer me. Then I suppose now would be the best time to tell you that I dropped your typewriter this morning and broke it."_ Meryl gritted her teeth in a suppressed snarl, confusing several people passing by, and listened to Vash laugh as if this was the funniest thing he's ever heard and Millie's sheepish laughter accompanying him. Am I done yet, she thought to herself as they carried on on the other end of the line.

-L&P-

The federal building loomed high above her. It was...intimidating. Normally she would have scoffed at such a thought but considering her purpose here she allowed herself the emotion. With a hard swallow, she steeled herself and walked in as if she owned the place.

The bored receptionist didn't even bother to look up as Meryl approached. She seemed oblivious to both Meryl and the cat sleeping on a stack of papers, like a living paperweight.

"Ahem." Meryl coughed.

"What can I help you with?" The middle aged woman drawled on.

"I need to speak with someone in charge." Meryl stated firmly.

The woman barked out a shrill humorless laugh. "Look missy. You tell me what you _think_ is important and I'll tell you whether it _is_ important or not. Catch my drift?"

_"I thought greeters were supposed to be friendly."_ Vash commented. Whether it was to her or Millie she couldn't tell.

"Listen here." Meryl said, her voice steel with a gaze to match. The woman looked up nonplused. "The information that I have isn't exactly the kind that should be discussed in a common area such as this. And it's something that even you would consider important, although I doubt that happens too often." The woman blinked blandly at her, the insult bouncing right off. Meryl leaned in closer to avoid others from overhearing.

"The information I have for your superiors is important. Just tell them that it's...information of the sixty billion double dollar variety, if you catch my drift."

The woman's eyes widened in realization as the importance of what Meryl was saying sunk in. Recently the entire building had been abuzz with talk of the humanoid typhoon. Linda could gossip with the best of them but for the life of her she couldn't pinpoint what had stirred up this renewed interest in their most wanted criminal. And now this pushy woman shows up saying that she has important news? It was too much to be a coincidence, at least in her eyes.

"Have a seat over there sugar. I'll get somebody down here to see you right away." Linda said, getting on the phone. Meryl nodded and went to sit on an unoccupied bench.

_"So far so good."_

_"Way to go Meryl! You're in!"_

She pretended to scratch her nose and coughed "Sush!" in her hand. The amused giggles on the other end told her that they had heard.

As it turned out, right away meant in thirty minuets or so. She waited and waited, watching people as they hurried about their business in the building. She listened to the conversation on the other end of the communicator but it annoyed her because she couldn't exactly participate. Meryl was almost on the verge of relaxing when an authoritive looking man, stout and in his mid-fifties, came up and stopped right in front of her.

"You said you had some important information, I believe." He said firmly. It was more of a statement rather than a question.

"Yes sir, I do."

"And what is your name?"

"Meryl Stryfe of the Bernardelli insurance society."

"Bernardelli? Well now, this is a surprise. You may just be the very person that we have wanted to see."

"Excuse me?" She asked, taken aback by his unexpected response.

"Please come with me Ms. Stryfe...Oh and you will need to leave those at the security desk." He said indicating the several derringers that were revealed between folds of the fabric. "No weapons permitted beyond the reception area."

"Yes sir." She said somewhat sheepishly. They went over to the security desk, her company stoic and silent. The guard asked her to remove her weapons and place them into a container until she was ready to leave. She reached for the guns, paused, then decided to pull off the entire cape. She didn't have the patience at the moment to remove all fifty. And neither did her escort, she assumed.

That settled, they moved away from the commons area to a set of elevators. She stepped in after her guide. Not a word was spoken during the ride several floors up. With each chime of the contraption, Meryl felt herself growing more and more tense. What the hell had she been thinking? Lying to the top federal agents? People who had made a living spotting out liars? Stop it, she firmly scolded herself. She had to do this. The cards were in her favor. She could easily provide evidence to all that she would tell and they would be none the wiser. All she had to do was play it smooth. After all, she wasn't Bernardelli's top disaster investigator for nothing.

They reached their floor. Meryl followed along behind her escort, growing increasingly uncomfortable at the mans silence. The bare whitewashed halls were empty except for them, and lined with doors ever few feet. The man finally stopped in front of one.

"If you would please wait inside." He said opening the door. "We need to verify with the insurance agency that you are who you say you are. Then someone will be with you shortly." His tone left no room for protest. Without so much as a nod in reply, she stepped into the room. As soon as she had crossed the threshold the door closed behind her followed by a tale-tale click of the lock.

"Terrific. An observation room." She said for the sake of her companions, looking around. There was nothing in there except for a table two chairs and a light hanging above. "They had better not take too long."

_"How are you doing over there? One cough for ok, two for not."_

She coughed quietly in her hand while sitting in one of the cold steel chairs.

_"Nothing to do now but wait I suppose...Millie and I can keep you entertained while you wait, what do you say?"_

_"Yeah, we can tell jokes, stories, sing..."_

Cough, cough.

_"Ok then. I suppose you need time to think anyway. Good luck! We'll be rooting for you!"_

Time ticked onward. It was mind numbingly boring in that small grey room. Meryl didn't even have a clock to watch, she could only guess at the time. Part of her was beginning to regret not taking them up on the offer to keep her entertained, but there was no way she could ask. And besides, she couldn't risk looking like she was listening to something. As the minuets passed drowsiness was starting to replace her apprehension at what she was doing. A nap was starting to sound pretty tempting.

_"(Yaaawwnn) I'm getting bored. What's taking so long?"_ Millie asked.

_"I don't know but I'm starting to get hungry."_ At being reminded that she hadn't eaten since breakfast, her stomach began to growl in earnest agreement.

The door opened.

The same man that had brought her here stepped in followed by another stern faced man in his thirties. Her escort waited by the door while the newcomer sat down in the chair across from her. He sat a folder down in front of him. She waited in uncomfortable anticipation.

"We have verified with Bernardelli that you are in fact Meryl Stryfe, and we got further confirmation about your current...assignment." He said, the last word seeming as if it left a sour taste in his mouth. "Just so that we are clear...we here have never been too pleased about Bernardelli's attempt at disaster control. For one thing," He said opening up the folder and pulling out sheets of paper filled with legal reports. "It is for the most part, futile. And secondly, it places civilians where they don't belong. Criminals are our business, not yours."

"With all due respect sir, I don't make the rules. I just follow them." She said flatly. He looked at her with an unreadable expression then continued onward.

"Bernardelli's records show that you have been in contact with the humanoid typhoon for some time now. But just recently your reports have stopped coming in all together. Why?"

"Things have been...hectic."

"And furthermore, records show that a Millie Thompson was put on this assignment with you. Care to tell me why she's not here as well? Or better yet, care to explain to me why you have abandoned the society's neutrality policy and have come here today." He said in a sharp accusatory tone. "Or how about you just tell us where that bastard is so we can end this once and for all!"

"Look Pal! You think I came all this way to talk about the weather? No! I came to tell you exactly where to find him before another city is ruined. And I don't know exactly what the society did to piss you off so much, but I would kindly appreciate it if you would quit bitching about it to Me!" She snapped back harshly, all apprehension forgotten. The man stared at her with narrowed eyes, clearly mulling over something. Several tense moments passed.

"So...seeing as how you went out of your way just to come visit us...what exactly is this important information that you have?" He asked, condescending and full of disdain.

"May is next."

"What?" The man by the door asked, speaking up for the first time.

"First July, then Augusta. May is next. I heard it from his own mouth." Sorry Vash, she thought, but I have to play into their assumptions. The interrogator remained silent. She pressed on. "And while you're here playing hotshot fed, that city is in danger and everyone in it. I _saw_ Augusta. I was there. I _know_ what's going to happen." She said urgently. The man raised his eyebrow.

"The risk is not what you might think." He said, catching her attention but she hid any sign of it. "And before we act on this information, I have a few questions to see how...genuine it is."

"Are you calling me a liar?"

"That remains to be seen. For one thing, I would like to know how you managed to stay in the company of such a person without being killed."

"For the most part all of our time was spent trying to track him down and keep up with him rather than in his company." She answered truthfully enough.

"And you've never tried to cash in on the bounty...?"

"My life is not worth the risk. Besides, I really don't think you would have paid up." The man just let the slight slide.

"Alright then. Why are you now, just now, coming to us despite the society's policy on uninvolvement when it comes to law enforcement matters? Why try and turn him in now? And you still haven't told me where your partner is." He said, almost lazily sifting through his papers. This was going to hurt. She had wanted to avoid this but there was no getting around it. The man looked up at her hesitation to answer.

"Well?"

Meryl looked away to the grey wall. "Screw Bernardelli and its neutrality policy." She said vehemently. "They can fire me for all I care. I'm not...I'm not letting..." She tried to choke out. It wasn't enough yet to be convincing! She needed more emotion, tears. She chose sorest spot in her heart and picked at it mercilessly. When she began to speak again the grief was genuine...although her audience had no way of knowing that it was not related to her tale.

"I'm not going to go into the details of what happened that night. I refuse. But it was that night a few weeks ago when I found out about May and lost...lost my best friend." Damn it! She felt so guilty about what she was saying. It must be killing them to have to listen to this, especially him. She swore to try and make up for it anyway that she could. Although she knew it wouldn't be enough.

"Anyway," She said wiping at her face and trying to get a hold of her trembling voice. "That's when I decided to leave. I would have come sooner but...I was afraid."

"What I would like to know is how you managed to get away. Your story seems lacking. I doubt someone like that would just let you go." The man said, unfazed by the display of emotion.

"You don't worry that someone may talk when you already think that their dead." She said sharply. She pulled down her collar further and turned her head so that the interrogator could get a better view of her neck. They had nearly faded away completely by now, but still there were the remains of finger shaped bruises along her neck. What Knives had done. The man leaned forward for a closer inspection. He then stood up, a sudden change coming over his demeanor.

"Ms. Stryfe, thank you for coming here today. It was a good thing that you did. Please be patient with us and wait here a little bit longer. I need to go speak with someone. I'll be right back. Agent Caldwell will be staying here in the meantime. Just let him know if you need anything." He said gathering his papers and quickly leaving the room.

She felt sick to her stomach, heartbroken, at having to have said what she did. It almost felt like betrayal. Just imagining what it must feel like made her hate herself. And there was no way she could take it back.

"Sorry." She whispered, hiding her face in her hands.

"There's nothing to be sorry for Ms. Stryfe. In fact it took a great deal of courage coming to us today"

_"You don't have to apologize. They wouldn't have expected anything less. You did what you had to."_

"In fact, it's a good thing that you did. You can provide us with information that would be invaluable."

_"Besides, who would believe the truth? It was the only way for us to find out what we need to know."_

"After this is settled, we can move you to a safe house so you wouldn't have to worry any further."

_"Just hurry and get out of there so that we can all go home."_

"Ok." She said quietly.

After several minuets and one restroom break later the door opened once more.

"Come with me please." He questioner requested. Strange, this time he seemed a lot less authoritative and more subdued, she thought as she followed. The man known as Caldwell came as well. They went back to the elevators and upward. By now she had the feeling that she was going to be speaking to the head of the federal agency, but she had no idea of what to expect when she got there. They reached a set of carved wooden doors, and then stepped on through.

The office was large and very impressive. The entire wall behind the desk was nothing but windows. Stained wooden furniture, plush carpet, and numerous bookshelves. She gave a small start once she noticed what was leaning against one of those bookshelves. A large steel crucifix leaned against the shelf, looking a little worn but still unmistakable. If it was here...then surly...

The man behind the desk rose at their entrance and beckoned them forward. "Please, come sit down Ms. Stryfe." He said in a rich voice, beckoning her over. Hesitantly she came and sat in one of the plush chairs in front of the desk. The head of the agency nodded to Caldwell who left, but the second man remained standing between the chairs and the door. The boss then settled his attention on her, and likewise her to him. He was in his late forties, generous amounts of grey brushed at his temples, and his face showed lines of worry and stress. Despite the initial haggard appearance of the man, his gaze was clear and sharp although not entirely forbidding. It's exactly what she would have expected from the head of an agency such as this.

"I understand you have been waiting in one of our interview rooms for quiet some time. I would like to apologize for any inconvenience that this may have caused you."

"It was no trouble, really." She said, utterly baffled as to what the man wanted. To hear a recap of the story himself? To congratulate, comfort, or perhaps to chastise her for not coming sooner? She could only wait and see.

"I couldn't help but notice that, upon entering, your eye was immediately drawn to that weapon over there. Am I correct in assuming that it was not because it didn't match my usual decorum?"

"Yes. I've seen it before. It belonged to a man that we had crossed paths with several times. Nicholas, I believe his name was."

"And do you know where this man is?"

"No. We parted ways some time ago. I'm sorry...I'm sure that this isn't what you asked me up here for."

"No. Its not." The man said getting up. He walked over to the wall of window and looked out. He reflected in silence for several moments then began so speak again. "Did you know that January was not always federal agency headquarters? This was more than likely before your time, but it was once located in July." Meryl listened silently, wondering what he was getting at. "I was there in July that day. I was there to see the city fall." He said, trailing off. He turned to face her once more.

"You said you were there to witness Augusta, correct?"

"Yes."

"Then you understand the kind of fear that comes from witnessing something like that." She didn't respond. "And you heard a definite threat against May. Hmm...As much I would like to tell you that the incident would not be repeated, I cannot. Only you can say."

"Huh?"

"Tell me, did you by chance get a look at his weapon?"

_"_Weapons. _There were two."_ Vash whispered to her.

"There were two of them. Two guns."

"Can you describe them?"

_"Revolver. .45 Long Colt. With AGL Arms Factory engraved on them."_

Meryl repeated him. The man looked at her long and searchingly. He then stepped back up to his desk. Pulling open the first drawer, Meryl's breath caught as he pulled the two guns out and set them on top of the papers littering his desk.

"Are these it?" He asked her quietly.

"Yes. Absolutely." She said, looking them over. It was her first time to see the dark gunmetal one. Yin and Yang, how fitting she thought dryly. She noticed that Vash'es gun still had one bullet left in the barrel. Her gaze trailed down to the papers on the desk.

"Your verification that these weapons did indeed belong to the humanoid typhoon is most greatly appreciated. When we found them we suspected, but were not certain, that these were the very weapons that caused July and Augusta to fall. Because you were there, I assume that you already know that there is more to these two guns that meets the eye."

"Yes. I know." She said quietly.

"What I now need to know is if there may be any others that you know of. Or even the suggestion of there being more like this. If you could...Ms. Stryfe? Is everything alight?" He asked standing up.

She shook her head fiercely but didn't say a word. She tried to stand and walk away but fell to her knees before she could get a step away.

"Sanderson could you please escort her to the infirmary. I'm afraid we've pressed the matter too hard on already frayed nerves."

_"Meryl? What's going on?"_

The man she now knew as Sanderson was at her side gently lifting her by her shoulders. "Common, let's go." He said pulling her upright. She weakly held on to him. Then, abruptly kicked one of his legs out from under him and threw him towards the desk as he fell. He hit his head against the solid wood and lay there motionless. By then two guns were leveled at each other in a tense stalemate. As the man fell, Meryl had made a quick grab for the loaded revolver. The head of the agency, while initially stunned by the sudden action, quickly recovered and drew his own piece.

"Lower the weapon Ms. Stryfe." The man said in a flat dangerous voice.

"No. You lower yours and leave the room." She answered in an identical tone. She was having difficulty holding the large gun steady even with two hands.

"_What the heck is going on!"_

"_Meryl!"_

"Listen Ms. Stryfe, you don't want to do this. The entire building is filled with federal agents. There is no way you can escape from here."

"Then there is no harm in doing what I ask, is there? Please just turn and go."

"Not going to happen."

"Then what do you suggest?"

"You lower your weapon."

"Not gonna happen."

"_What do you think you doing?"_

"This stalemate won't last, you know that right?"

"I have my reasons. Just _trust_ me. Please." She said to them both.

"I'm afraid I can't do that." He said, unwavering. Meryl sighed deeply then lowered the gun.

"Good. Now drop it."

"Funny. I was going to ask you the same thing." She said. Her odd reply puzzled the man for a moment, and then it struck him. The gun was pointed down and away from him, but that didn't mean that it was aimed at the ground. Sanderson. Sighing in defeat, he lowered his gun then set it on the desk.

"Good. Now start walking towards the door. Facing me and hands up." She ordered pulling the gun away from the prostrate man to the one before her. She watched him intently as he slowly edged away. A soft moan caught her attention, Sanderson was stirring. The slight distraction was all the agency head needed to pull out his hidden gun from behind his belt.

-L&P-

Two gunshots rang out. One was from a smaller caliber gun while the other he recognized from his own .45.

"Meryl! What happened? Please answer me!"

"Are you ok? Please say something!" Millie shouted into the little device that he held.

_"Not now."_ Came the terse reply. They listened as some shuffling sounds came over the receiver, something thudding hitting, a screeching metallic noise, and then hollow clanking noises. The air vents, he realized, it was the only way out she had.

"Meryl..."

_"Shhh! In a minuet."_ She whispered sharply. All they could do is tensely sit and listen as she scooted her way through the vents until she was far enough away from the room to talk safely. The two in the alleyway exchanged nervous looks. What had just happened? And more importantly...what it going to happen now?

-L&P-

At the sounds of the gunshots, agent Caldwell ran from his spot down the hall where he was shooting the breeze with another agent. The two of them had just reached the door when they heard a click from the other side. He yanked at the door knob but it had been locked. He threw his shoulder at the door but it was too solidly made.

"Back away from the door!" He shouted to anyone on the other side. "We're coming in!" He nodded to the other man who nodded back and flanked him. Caldwell then drew his gun and aimed for the locks.

The head of the agency moaned softly and tried to sit up but found that he couldn't, something very heavy was holding him down. He twisted his head around to see something silver gleaming at him. The crucifix, he remembered. She had shot it instead of him, causing it to topple over and knock him through a loop. He flinched as three gunshots rang out and the door to his office burst open.

"Ohmygod sir! Are you alright?" Agent Caldwell exclaimed and rushed over to his boss, pulling the heavy cross off of him with a growl of effort.

"Stop her...she..."

"Stop who sir?" The agent accompanying Caldwell asked while helping him to his feet. "There's no one else in here."

"What?" He asked dazedly looking around. The metal covering of one of the vents hung by one corner, a chair was placed under it. "She got out through the vents." A sudden stirring caught their attention.

"Owww...bitch..." Sanderson said getting up. "What the hell..?"

"It seems like we have been played." He said looking down at his dazed agent. "She took the guns."

"What? Hell! She was on his side all along! And we fell for it!"

"Get the entire building on red alert." Caldwell said to the second man. "We can't let her get out of here!"

"Right!"

"No need to get so worked up." The commander said calmly to everyone's surprise.

"But sir..."

"Don't worry...I get the feeling that she won't be getting very far." He said inspecting the wall around the open vent. It was covered with little bloody handprints.

-L&P-

The wait was killing him. The only thing to be heard over the communicator was soft metallic noises as she went along. She wasn't talking and she wasn't answering. Even more worrying than wondering why she kept up this maddening silence, was wondering why she did it. She had promised him. She promised. Did she even begin to realize what she had just done? He closed his eyes in pain as the full consequences of her actions unfolded in his mind. Millie stood there, silently tearing up, on the verge of hysterics out of worry. He decided to try again.

"Please answer me...what's going on?"

_"I had to crawl inside the vents...it was the only place I could go. Oh and don't worry, its alight. I didn't shoot him. He's still alive."_ She said, somewhat winded.

"Why did you do it Meryl?" He asked her. She continued on as if she hadn't heard

_"I saw that he was standing really close to Wolfwood's gun, so I shot at it and Boom! Fell right over on him. Not a bad shot if I do say so myself. You know your gun has a helluva kick to it. Oh and Millie, I'm so sorry. I would have took it with me if I could...but it was just too big. Please forgive me."_

"It's ok Meryl. You don't have to worry about it." She said, wiping at her eyes. "Besides, I don't think you could even lift it. It probably weighs more than you."

_"Probably."_ Meryl said followed by a forced laugh. He frowned at the strain in her voice. It was too familiar.

"Meryl...are you hurt?"

"What? Hurt? Meryl please tell us that you're ok!" Millie begged, eyes lighting in fear.

_"You two worry warts. I'm just fine."_

"Then why do you sound so out of breath? Please tell us." She pleaded.

_"You try crawling around in these tiny vents. I don't even have enough room to go on my hands and knees. It's more of a scoot than a crawl. That and I have to keep a hold of these heavy guns."_

"Meryl I've been your friend for years, I can tell when you're lying."

_"Ok, ok Millie. I'll tell you so you won't worry yourself to death. He grazed my arm. Nothing too bad but it really stings. And its bleeding a little, but nothing a patching up can't fix."_

"We don't have gauze or anything back at the apartment. Millie can you..."

"No need to ask, I'm right on it!" She saluted and ran off headed for the nearest pharmacy. "I'll be _right_ back!" She called then ran out of sight. He looked at the area she had rounded the corner for a moment then turned to the small pen in his hand.

"Alright. She's gone. Now tell me...how bad is it?"

_"What? But I told you Vash..."_

"Meryl you're a bad liar. And I can tell by your voice that you're in a lot of pain. Please tell me."

-L&P-

"Alright." She sighed. "It's a little deeper than just a graze, but honestly, it'll be fine." She said fingers trailing up to the gaping hole in her right shoulder. There was no light in the cramped vents but she could tell that it was bad. Warmth from her own blood was spreading down her back and her front. It had passed clean through. But she wasn't about to tell him all this, he was probably worried enough. Hell, she was terrified. It was only out of pure adrenaline that she hadn't fallen over shrieking in pain. But the rush was fading quickly and she was losing the strength to pull herself along and keep a hold of the guns. She suddenly had an idea. Rolling over onto her back she pulled off her boots, then her stockings. She took the elastic material and tied it tightly around herself like a belt, strapping the twin guns onto her stomach. She was clumsily tying the knot with her left hand when a soft voice spoke in her ear.

_"Why did you do it?"_ His voice was hurt. Betrayed. She let out a ragged sigh, clenching her teeth in pain.

"I did it because I had to." She said quietly.

"_But why?" _Came the loud reply over the line. She winced at the sharp tone_. "Did you do it because I asked you not to? To prove that you could? Meryl what in the world were you thinking? Do you realize what you have just done?"_ Tears trickled out of the corners of her eyes as she stared upwards into the darkness. He was angry with her. He thought that she had done it just to spite him. Is that what he thought of her? She clenched at her shirt in pain, her labored breathing causing the pain in her shoulder to flair up to excruciating levels.

_"How are you even going to get of there? Did you think about it? And what if you do? They're going to be after you now. You'll be a wanted criminal now just because of me! Dammit Meryl why?"_

She let out a strangled sob. "Because..."

_"And what if you don't make it out. You're hurt. You refuse to tell me how bad, but I know it is. For all I know you could be dying and I'm going to have to sit here and listen to you die and not be able to do a thing to help you."_

"Shut up." She whispered.

_"Why couldn't you have just listened to me for once?"_

"Shut up...Shut up. Shut Up! SHUT UP!" She screamed, pounding on the metal she lay on. "I told you to trust me dammit! Why can't you just rely on someone else for once!" She berated him before letting out a harsh scream of pain and frustration.

Silence.

"I'm not stupid Vash. Although someone like me may only seem like a child to you, I'm not stupid." She said, voice harsh and strained. She began scooting along her back in the dark, pushing herself forward with her feet. "I did what I did because I had no choice. On his desk...there were papers...They were going to experiment...on the angel arms...to try and activate them in a controlled environment...to see...if..." She stopped moving for a moment, she had to catch her breath. It was agonizing even to breathe. "I just couldn't take that chance...And I knew...if I told you, you would try to break in and take the guns...they would try to kill you...I couldn't take that chance either..."

_"Meryl..."_

"But then again...considering all the things you've done...you probably could have come in, grabbed them, left without a scratch, and still would have wanted to go out and have a drink afterwards..." She laughed; it was an empty harsh sound. She kept laughing until it began to sound more and more like ragged sobs. Yet she still moved on. With her bare feet she could feel the wet sticky trail she was leaving on the metal. Only did she stop when she heard the sound coming from the little earring that she had borrowed. Crying. He was crying for her. Because of her. It was something she never as long as she lived wanted to hear again, and now she was the cause of it.

You fool, she bitterly thought to herself. You _fool_. You've never been one for self deception. In fact, it was a trait you have prided yourself on. To admit to the truth despite the blow to your ego, so do it now. Be honest. You didn't _really_ care that they were going to try to activate the guns. To the smallest degree this would be true, but it's not the real reason. What you saw when you looked at those papers was an excuse, a reason. A reason to be needed. The chance was sitting there on the desk, a chance to help him out where no one else could. To help out and feel like you're worth something.

You fool, she thought again as she realized the truth of it all. All she had wanted as she had tacked him over the planet was to be near him, to be needed. But she was she was just in the way. Dammit. From the very first time they had met, her insistence of being in the picture had caused him to have to go out of his way and get into even more trouble. And this was repeated over, and over, until...

Millie had forced her not to think about it but what if it really was true? Would the events at L.R. have taken place if she hadn't followed along blindly? She had a feeling that she knew. He had asked her not to follow him, as he always had. And she had never listened. Look what happened then. Look what happened now. Crying bitterly, once again she told herself the truth. Besides, what would have happened if she had managed to pull this off? He would thank her, probably scold her for putting herself in danger for his sake and that would be the end of it. And what if she actually told him that she loved him? He would just smile, say that's nice, and leave. Again. For someone who had lived so long, for someone that was going to live forever, what was she? Her life would be over in no time for him. He didn't need her. Never had. Never will.

Her cries turned into one long howl of pain, wrenching up until it gave away into quiet ragged sobs. Faintly she heard some words on the other end trying to calm and comfort her, but she ignored them. Once she regained her breath she rambled out before he had a chance to speak again.

"I'm so sorry for what happened. So sorry. About this and about then. But don't you dare feel guilty. I know you. Don't. You. Dare...It was my choice, and the consequences are mine to bare and mine alone."

"_Shh. It's going to be ok. I promise."_

"Don't..."

"_You're not going to die in there. Your not. Now please tell me honestly, where did you get shot and how bad is it?" _

"Why do you care?" She quietly asked him.

"_Meryl...what?_

"I asked why do you care."

"_Because...what? What kind of question is that?"_

"You know, as long as I've know her...I've always wondered why Millie still keeps me as her friend."

"_Meryl..."_ The tiny voice said, starting to sound very concerned.

"Seriously. I've wondered. And you...no wonder you've bent over backwards trying to lose us. Hell, if I were you I would try and get away from me too. I'm a complete bitch. I can't even stand being around myself sometimes. How do you two do it?"

"_Please don't talk like that. You can be a little irritable but really you're a good person."_

"Don't lie to me. You've lied enough to me. It might have been for my own good, just like now, but I don't deserve it. I know the truth."

"_Stop it. No more of this. We should be more focused on finding a way to get you out of there."_

She didn't answer him. She didn't want to. She had had enough. No more running and no more deception despite how much she wanted to believe.

"_Meryl?"_

"How do you turn this thing off?"

"_What?"_

"How do you turn it off? Tell me!" She shouted, pounding on the metal with her good hand.

"_You can't. It can only be turned off from my end. Why would you want to..?"_

"Because I can't stand to hear you anymore." She said quietly cutting him off. "No more...I'm sorry..." She said softly. She then reached up and pulled the little device from her ear. She could hear the faintest of sounds coming from it. She closed her hand over it, shutting off the noise. It didn't feel right to leave it here lying in the vents so she reached down her shirt, tucking it safely away in her bra.

She lay there in the cold, the silence, the dark. She then, slowly, began propelling herself forward once more. She didn't know where she was going, but at the moment...it didn't really matter.

-L&P-

She wouldn't answer him, no matter how much he called into the little device. He fell silent. Couldn't stand to hear him anymore? Did she blame him for this? Had she had felt forced to do this? And why, why, wouldn't she answer? Could she anymore?

The thought sent a jolt of fear and worry through him. He held the transmitter close to his ear to try and pick up any sound of her breathing, if she still was. Reassuringly enough, the sound of her harsh breathing came through as well as the sounds of her moving onward. But there was also another noise. A sound that confused him momentarily until he placed it. Da dum, da dum, da dum. Her heartbeat. That's why she wouldn't answer...she removed the piece from her ear and couldn't hear him.

Although reassured that she was still alive and well enough to be moving around, he was still faced with the difficult task ahead...getting her out of there. But the million double dollar question was how?

"I'm back, I'm back, I'm back!" Millie raved, running up to him. "How is she? How's it going? What's going on? What are you doing?" She rattled off questions in rapid succession. He didn't look up from where he sat in the cluttered alleyway. For the past half hour he had monitoring Meryl's breathing and heart rate, and had been coming up with a plan to get her out of there. So far, he wasn't pleased with either, but on both accounts it was better than nothing.

"She's not answering anymore." He said, still staring off in the distance. Millie drew in a horrified breath. He quickly amended. "She's still alive. I can hear her breathing." He said giving the little pen a shake. "But she said she didn't want to talk to me anymore. But she didn't give a reason why."

"Well that's odd." Millie said sitting against the wall opposite of him. "Of either of us, I figure that she would rather talk to you. Weird."

"Hmn?"

"Well it's...uh...well its just you would know more about this sort of thing than I would." She stammered out, hoping that he would buy it. If Meryl wasn't ready to say it, than it wasn't her place to go blabbing about it.

"Yeah, I suppose so." He said, looking back down at his feet.

Phew!

"So what are we going to do? I'm so worried."

"At the moment there's not much we can do except wait and pray."

"Wait for what?"

"Sunset."

"What happens at sunset?"

"I'm breaking in there and getting her out."

Conversation died away after that. Millie didn't ask him how. He didn't offer any explanation how. They sat there and waited. Food was out of the question. It didn't feel right, enjoying a meal while they knew that their missing friend was suffering alone in the darkness. Besides, stress and worry had them both wound up so tight that they doubted that they could hold anything down.

He had spoke confidently enough when he had told Millie that he was going to get her out of there, but one daunting obstacle remained...how would he find her? Judging from the number of dings he had heard from the elevator and the height of the building she was on the top floor. And he hadn't heard her go up or down a level the entire time he had been listening, so that meant that she was still there on the top level. But still that didn't help things. The building was massive. And according to Meryl, the vents were cramped, even for her. There would be no way that he could fit in there and hunt her down. He could possibly locate her by focusing on the guns, but really he wasn't too good at that kind of thing, not like Knives was. And all larger plants around would probably cause too much interference and confuse him. It was the best chance that he had, but it still wasn't good enough.

He thought these things over while he listened to her, and he wasn't very happy with that either. She was moving less and less over shorter distances. And her breathing was getting shallower and slower. Exhaustion was getting to her, and he prayed that that was all. The ever present da dum had begun to soften over the past thirty minuets. He strained harder and harder to hear it. While doing so he became aware of a similar noise. It was faint at first then it slowly began to grow. It was similar to a heartbeat but faster, stronger.

A fan, he realized. She was near one of the ventilation fans on the roof. Frustration set in as he realized that he had no way to tell her to stay put. She had no way to get past the whirling blades so naturally she would just move on, right? He listened and waited to see what she would do. The pulse of the fan steadily grew louder as the rays in the sky grew more golden. Eventually the sound drowned out every other noise, but instead of beginning to fade it remained steady, she had stopped.

The first sun set in the sky. Millie got up wordlessly and turned back to their apartment. She turned and gave him one last look that said it all, and then was gone. Fifteen more minuets until the second sun set and ten more after that until total night. Just enough time for him to get there and to figure out how the heck he, the most wanted man on the planet, was going to get in and out of the place where every single individual was swore to hunt him down and/or see him dead.

-L&P-

Any hopes he had of catching them unprepared were completely and utterly dashed at his first glance of the place. Every single window of the building was lit up. A dozen or so heavily armed guards patrolled the parameter. _And_ the area around was lit up by floodlights. All this activity, needless to say, had drawn quiet a crowd. Numerous curious spectators gathered about, the steely silence of the federal guards only fueled their curiosity, drawing more in number.

He sat on a closed trash can in the space between two buildings, observing and thinking. He had tucked the pin into the collar of his shirt so he wouldn't have to continuously hold it and he could still listen. Although the only thing to be heard was the persistent _whump whump_ of the fan. He was both pleased that she hadn't moved from where he could possibly find her, but was unhappy that he could no longer tell how she was doing. For all he knew...

Enough. Focus. How to get in? No, not necessarily. How to get up would be more precise. He needed to get to the roof. Climbing up would be the best way, seeing as how trying to break inside as it would be certain suicide. But even if he could even _reach_ the building without being shot down, there was no way he could scale up unnoticed.

"Of all the places in this city...no the _world_, you pick this one! How am I going to do this? Think!" He said holding the sides of his head, as if he could physically force out an idea. Footsteps behind him caught his attention.

"Hey!" The man down the alley cheerfully greeted him, blissfully unaware of the hidden gun trained on him. "You here to see the show too?"

"See the show?" Vash asked uncertainty.

"Yeah the big fuss over at the feds." The man said walking up beside of him. He was unarmed so Vash relaxed. Slightly. "Some people are saying that it's a drill, others a bomb threat. Me? I have no idea what the hell they're doing but, hey, it's something to break the monotony of things."

"It looks serious to me. Shouldn't you be worried rather than entertained?" He asked the stranger.

"Worried? Hell man, it's the federal building! What is there to be worried about?"

"Well the fact that some people think it's a bomb threat for starters."

"Pfft. Even if it is a bomb threat I'm safer out her than at home, believe me." The man said adamantly.

"You're having problems?"

"Yeah! Something's wrong with our wiring. Powers been out all week. The old lady is about to blow a gasket! I'm much safer out here in the open with the possibility bomb rather than my small place with the _certainty_ of a bomb, if you know what I'm saying." Vash chuckled at the poor mans problem, then fell quiet, an idea slowly forming.

"Hey man, you wanna come for a closer look?" He offered with a jerk of the thumb towards the crowd.

"Nah, I'm not much for crowds. Thanks though."

"Well see you around."

"Kay, bye. Oh and good luck with your wife!" He called out to him. The man gave him a wave of thanks then went on to joining the throng.

As the man left, his smile faded, turning dead serious. The poor mans misfortunes had given him an idea. It was a long shot but it was the only one he had.

He left his spying place and retreated further into the shadows. He needed to be where he could concentrate in peace, but at the same time he still needed to be close enough to act when it was time. Going though the back streets he came around so that the back of the federal building was before him. Despite the fact that it was dark, he pulled out his sunglasses and put them on, blocking most of the light. It was as guarded and as lit up as the front, except here there were no people milling about in curiosity. Good. No one to get in his way, and once he acted the guard's attention would be immediately drawn to the front where the uproar was sure to break out. He backed away out of sight and sat down in the shadows. He closed his eyes and began to focus.

Fourteen. There were fourteen here total in January. Three were powering this sector, with two backups from the neighboring sectors. Five plants in total. Five plants he had to reach out to simultaneously over a good distance and contact. Then he had to get them to lower their output and cause a blackout for as long as they could give him. Ten minuets at _least_, thirty at best. Knives would have scoffed at him being daunted by this task, probably being able to do it himself in his sleep. But Vash had always tried to live as a human, though he knew full and well that he wasn't. So needless to say, he wasn't exactly in practice with this sort of thing. But still he had to try...

-L&P-

After the man had left the blond stranger sitting in the alleyway he soon found someone he recognized amongst the group.

"Miles! Heya Miles!"

"Scott! Joining the party are we?" Miles said coming up to him.

"Its crazy out here isn't it?"

"Damn right! It's been a mad house here all evening. Where have ya been?"

"Ahh just got off work. Melinda is still pissed about the power. I thought I would come see the action before being put on the rack."

"You _still_ haven't got your power fixed! Good lord man, how long do you plan on sitting in the dark?"

As if on cue, every light in the sector flared up brightly then fell dark. There was an immediate uproar among the crowd. Panicked, the guards tensed up for anything. But after being surrounded by the bright lights for so long, everyone in the area was temporarily night blind.

All except for one.

The guards around the service area in the back never saw the threat coming, nor were they conscious to see the ground coming up to meet them.

The building wasn't a solid rectangular chunk, it broke off into five different levels of five different heights, the tallest naturally being the center section. This was to divide the building up into different sections and the escalating effect made it architecturally impressive. Unfortunately, it also meant places for guards to be posted. The guards on the first level were too busy slapping at the spot lights to be paying proper attention. Their reward for it would be a serious headache in the morning followed by a severe tongue lashing from their superiors.

The guards on the second level, three, were a little more attentive. Two were posted by the edge with one in the middle. The abrupt loss of power had them on edge and alert to the smallest of noises. That was why when there was a small clinking clanking noise by the air vents they all heard it and immediately went to investigate, each thinking of their reward for having found the suspect. The only thing they found was a bullet slowly rolling to a stop. Their reward? It was the exactly the same as the three on the level below.

The roof was clear of guards. It did, however, have a number of cameras, below which hung motion activated automatic guns. The power loss effectively neutralized them, but it was only temporary. All the more incentive for him to hurry and find her. He didn't know how much longer he could keep the five plant's outputs at a minimum. A migraine was already forming from the strain of keeping it up this long. There would be hell to pay in the morning. But that didn't matter, he had to find her and fast.

The moment the fans had shut off, the sounds on the other end of the communicator had fell silent. Dead silent. He just knew that he was too late, that she was gone and it was all his fault. But softly, ever so softly, the same reassuring rhythm that he had been listening to earlier was there.

His concentration was too wrapped up to reach out and find the two tiny plants, so he would have to do it the hard way. He went from one ventilation opening to another, looking in, seeing nothing, and going on to the next. He was considering risking calling out to her when he finally came to one vent on the far left side of the roof.

In the patch of moonlight between the shadows cast by the blades of the fans, lay a small pale hand. He wrenched the protective covering off and tossed it aside. It was somewhat of a tight fit, but he slipped down between the blades into a crouch. He took her hand and gently pulled her out from the narrow vent.

"Oh no..." He whispered. She was unconscious and completely covered in her own blood. She hadn't lied to him when she had said it was a little deeper than a graze. The bullet wound was caused by a small caliber gun, but for such a small woman it was a serious injury. He felt for her pulse. Weak. And she was so cold.

"Common...lets get you out of here." He told her. He paused once he noticed the two guns tied to her waist. She had done it after all. He undid the knot in the stockings and tucked the guns into his belt at the small of his back. He picked her up as easily as he could and placed her partially over one shoulder. Now it was time to get out of here, and in a hurry.

He climbed out of the ventilation opening easily, then was across the roof in a rush. He tried not to jar her around too much going down service ladder to the lower levels, but time was against them. More guards might show up any second and he was quickly losing his hold on the five plants. But the suspected guards never did show up. And by the time the power did come back on, much to everyone's relief, they were already lost in the night.

-L&P-

Millie sat on the uncomfortable patchy sofa confused, scared, and painfully alone. She couldn't have done anything to help so she hadn't even offered. But still...sitting here like this doing nothing was so maddening. She felt so helpless. The stillness and quiet of the apartment offered no distractions. Free from anything else to focus on, her mind kept coming up with increasingly horrible and heartbreaking scenarios. What would she do if she lost Meryl? Or both of them? She would be all alone. She didn't think that she could handle losing someone close to her again. Not again. What would she do if it did happen though?

She hid her face in her hands and sighed heavily. The wait was killing her. The worry was torturing her. Her mind was determined to make things worse, and there wasn't a thing she could do to stop it. She was helpless in that aspect too. She began to toy with the idea of following along to see if there was something, anything, that she could do. To try and be there in case something went wrong, but she didn't really think that she had the nerve to go through with something like that. Not on her own anyway. She was perfectly fine with following Meryl into some hectic situation, but by herself? She doubted it. She just didn't know what to do. It was all so frustrating and confusing.

Millie sat there trying to make sense of the flood of emotions and thoughts that were assailing her when there was a noise out in the hall and the doorknob turned only to be stopped with a click as the lock caught.

"Millie, open up. Let me in." Said the muffled voice from the hall. It was Vash. Millie leapt up from the couch like she had been shocked and had the lock undone in seconds. She flung the door open.

"Oh my gosh!" She cried, horrified. He walked on in past her with Meryl in his arms, heading towards the bedroom. Millie threw the door shut, locked it, and followed.

"She said the bullet just grazed her...not...not this. Is she...?"

"She's alive. It just went through her shoulder. If it had been just a little lower though... She got lucky. But still she's lost a lot of blood." He said, laying her down on top of the covers.

"We gotta get her to a hospital then! She really needs help!" she said, her voice beginning to crack. The sight of her friends pale face covered in dirt and blood was pushing her towards hysterics.

"We can't."

"What?"

"We can't." He repeated with a grimace. "They know she's hurt. Once they find out that she's not in the building anymore, that's the first place they'll look for her. And if they catch her she's as good as dead."

"But we can't just leave her here like this! Look at her! She needs help! She needs..."

"Millie!" He said firmly but not roughly. He took her by the shoulders, willing her to calm down. "I'm going to need you to stay with me on this one. It's not as bad as it looks, trust me. I can take care of it but I'll need your help. Can you please calm down a little and help me take care of her?"

"Yes." She quietly said, more subdued but still shaking.

"Alright then. First things first. We need to get her cleaned up..."

The bandages that Millie had bought were brought in as well as some water, with more heating up on the stove. The gravity of the situation overcoming the awkwardness of it, they began to get her out of the tight fitting outfit. Because pulling it off normally would require too much twisting and pulling on her shoulder, the only other option was to cut it free. Meryl would be pissed when she found out, but they didn't have much of a choice. For modesty's sake, he kept his back turned while Millie performed the task until she could be covered up. The ruined clothes were tossed aside in the corner. After a closer inspection of the wound, Vash left to go sanitize the needle and thread with the boiling water while Millie did her best to wash her up.

The suturing took him no time at all, having plenty of practice with it. Millie had to leave the room while he was putting in the stitches, it being too much for her already frayed nerves. Once he had finished he called her back in. Together, they then began to bandage her up. Once again for modesty's sake, he supported her up from behind looking away while Millie did the actual bandaging.

The whole process was nerve wracking, and they were both quiet exhausted by the time that they had finished. Because she hadn't been able to help when Vash had went to go rescue her, Mille had told him that she was going to keep watch tonight and there wasn't a thing that he could say or do to change her mind. He didn't argue with her. Millie had her rights in watching over her friend. And besides, based on what Meryl had said before she had cut contact with him, he doubted that his would be the face that she wanted to see when she woke.

Before he had left the bedroom to futilely try and get some sleep on Satan's couch, Millie had stopped him. Wordlessly she held out her hand offering him something. He looked, and resting in her palm was his earring.


	4. Redeemed

**Chapter Four:**

**Redeemed**

She woke up groggy and disoriented. She couldn't place where she was or even who she was for a moment. The ugly cracked ceiling stared back down at her, answering none of her questions. She tried to sit up but quickly fell back down with a sharp cry of pain. Her shoulder screamed at her, protesting at being moved carelessly like that. It all started to come back now. The interrogation room, getting shot, the vents. The last thing she remembered is stopping under a fan that led up and away to freedom. But she was powerless to escape, much less stand, so she had settled for laying there waiting for the moon to rise so she could stare on. How did she get back here? She was shaken from her reverie from an urgent message from her body, one that would be embarrassing to ignore.

She was struggling to roll over on her left side when the door opened. Vash slipped quietly in, dressed in his casual clothes. He didn't look surprised to see her awake, probably having been alerted to it by her cry of pain a moment ago.

"You shouldn't be trying to get up so soon. You need to rest." He softly scolded, coming over.

"Can't help it. Have to." She managed to say hoarsely, still pulling herself to the edge of the bed in awkward jerky motions. She vaguely noted that she was dressed in her oversized nightshirt and that was about it.

"Why? Just tell me what you need and I'll get it for you." She pointed to the bathroom while swinging one leg over the edge. "Oh...Gee, for all the times for Millie to be out. Ok, don't push yourself too hard. I'll help you over there." He tried to help her stand but her legs might as well have been made of overcooked pasta noodles for all the support they gave her. After a few moments of watching her try to pathetically stand on her own, he had mercy on her and just picked her up.

She assured him that she could handle things on her own inside. He waited by the door, back turned, while she did her business. Once she was done she actually managed to walk several steps before having to lean heavily against the sink to keep from falling over.

"Do you think you can make it on your own or would you like me to carry you again?"

"Carry..." She said kicking her pride to the curb.

Once she was settled back into the bed he turned and wordlessly left the room. She covered her eyes with her good arm, willing herself to fall back to sleep. Everything was so strange. How did he manage (and it only could have been him) to get her out of there? And there was the silence. The tension of it was starting to eat at her, but then again what could either of them say to the other? She considered trying to apologize but didn't have the strength to go into the potentially lengthy explanation. She tried even harder to escape back into the dark nothingness where the dreams made more sense than what was going on about her now.

The door opened again and he returned. It was only half a minuet after he had left but it had felt like an hour. She tried to pretend that she was asleep already, but it didn't make a difference. The bed shifted slightly as he sat down on the edge and she felt his hand slip under her back, pulling her up into a sitting position.

"Common Meryl, wake up. I need you to take these." He said sitting two little grey pills down on the blanket then reaching for a glass of water on the night stand.

"What is it?"

"Antibiotics. Crawling around in those grimy vents didn't do you any favors." he said, halfheartedly trying to joke.

"Not now." She said, wanting to lie back down. All the moving around was making her shoulder scream bloody murder and she was beginning to get a little nauseous.

"Please Meryl. Millie is going through a lot to get these for you. At least take them for her." He pleaded with her. She didn't answer but picked the little capsules up with clumsy fingers and put them in her mouth. After a few sips of the water he let her lay back down again. She immediately covered her face again, jaw clenched tightly.

"I'm sorry we don't have anything for the pain. It's all Millie could do to get these for you. And I would give you some alcohol but it would interfere with the antibiotics. I'm so sorry."

She waved her fingers in a dismissive gesture, but felt her composure start to crumble. He hurt in sympathy as he watched her struggle not to cry. He knew exactly what she was going through, but couldn't do anything to help it. Over the years he had gotten accustomed the pain of a gunshot wound, she didn't have any such experience. He remembered back to the first time he had gotten shot. It had been in the leg. At least she was taking it better than he had...he had thrown an unholy fit, he reminisced dryly amused.

He didn't know whether he should stay or leave. Most people liked to be alone when they were hurting, not wanting to be seen in their vulnerable state. But if he could offer any comfort, he would stay with her. But then again...she was angry at him and probably didn't want much to do with him at the moment. But she was crying...it would be heartless to just get up and walk away.

"Is there...anything I can do?" he ventured.

"What's the trick?" She asked through gritted teeth.

"Trick?"

"For getting past the pain. I've seen you...shot a bunch of times...you act like its nothing...What's the trick?"

He sighed. "There's no trick Meryl. I'm just used to it...that's all." She tensed further, not wanting the answer that she got. "Just try to focus on something else. That's all I can tell you." Apparently that was the wrong thing to say because the silent stray tears began to turn into full out crying.

"I just want to go back to sleep." She told him through harsh breaths. He couldn't take this anymore.

Surprising her into silence for a few moments, he gently scooped her up, blanket and all, and cradled her as if he would a child. He softly began to hum the first song that came into his head. The difference was almost instantaneous. She tensed, uncomfortable with the unexpected actions, but the crying eased, if not ceased all together. Not five minuets later, she was asleep once more.

-L&P-

"Common Mr. Johnson! Wakey wakey!" Millie brightly said, setting down the tray of food on his stand.

"Go away!" Came the nasally muffled reply out from under the pillow.

"Now now, if you don't eat then how do you expect to get any better? Hmm? At least eat a little of it...for me?"

"Its no use sweetheart...He does this every week." Said the man in the other hospital bed, his entire left leg in a cast.

"Every week? What for?" She asked, not quite getting why the little old man would refuse food on a weekly basis. He threw the pillow off of his face and glared at the tall woman in scrubs before him.

"You and everyone else in this dratted place have another thing coming if you think I'm going to eat those...things." He said jabbing his finger at the tray, giving it the evil eye.

"But their just salmon sandwiches..."

"That is not salmon!"

"Here we go..." The other man moaned, obviously having had go through this many times before.

"Think about it missy...salmon is fish, right?"

"Right!" She nodded happily.

"Fish are supposed to live in an ocean, aren't they?"

"Right!"

"Well...we don't have no oceans...now do we?" He said in almost a whisper.

"Well uh, no, I guess not..." She faltered.

"Then how can that be salmon! It ain't! I tell ya its some kinda junk that the government is dishing out to us! For all we know its minced sandworm!"

"Gee...I never thought sandworm would taste so good." She said thoughtfully. The man in the other bed laughed once, laughed again, and then completely lost it. Mr. Johnson, on the other hand, was stunned into complete silence. Unable to think of a suitable retort, he quietly picked up his little container of juice and sipped at it.

Millie chuckled contentedly to herself, delivering the other man his tray then going back out to the hall where the food cart waited. She pushed it along, moving down the hall to the next room so she could deliver food to the other patients there. She would have to hurry along though, she still had to gather up the used linens (her least favorite chore), and do her janitorial duties for the first floor. Humming softly to herself she reflected on how she came to be working here.

While she hadn't been happy with Vash'es decision to keep Meryl out of a hospital she had to accept the logic of it. She didn't know why her friend had done the things that she had, and Vash wasn't a good source of information as he had fallen into one of his quiet moods. After hearing the rough details of how he got her, Millie let the matter drop, she was just glad that Meryl was alive and they had the two weapons that they had set out for.

They had figured that after a few days Meryl would be well enough to move and the upturned city would be settled enough for them to slip away back to New Oregon. Fate, on the other hand, obviously wanted them to stay for a while longer.

The red inflamed skin around her bandages had the tell-tell signs of a serious infection setting up, one that they had partially expected but had hoped against. Something this serious would need more than over the counter medicine, but they couldn't risk taking her to any clinic. So, Millie decided, she would bring the medicine to her. It was as simple as that in her eyes, and nothing would dissuade her from trying.

Her confidence in the simplicity of the task began to crumble as she was rejected from one medical institution to the other. They had said that without a patient they simply could not be handing out medicine. To do so would cause every drug dealer and average Joe looking to sell meds for a quick buck to come flooding in. She had tried the same story with everyone of them when they asked her to bring the patient in: that her friend was deathly phobic of doctors and would sooner suffer than to go to a hospital. They had all smiled sympathetically at her but offered her no help other than the advice to try harder to reason with her fearful friend.

Discouraged, Millie had even begun to consider theft. She cringed at what her big-big brother would say to her if he knew that she was even considering such a thing, but she knew that he would understand that it would be for a noble cause. The flaw in this plan was even if Millie did managed to sneak into a pharmacy store room, she would have absolutely no idea of what to take. She knew little to nothing about medicines and the thought of accidentally taking a poison was enough for her to toss away the idea all together.

It was only when she wearily walked through the doors of January's somewhat disheveled St. Richards hospital did luck smile upon her. As she waited patiently in the lobby for the head of the hospital to see her about her strange request, she noted the poor state the place was in. The stone floor had sand tracked everywhere, boxes that once held supplies were stacked haphazardly in corners and along the halls, and everyone that worked here had a stressed worn look to them. She had called one man over when he got on his break and was making a dash for the exit so he could take a smoke. At first he was annoyed by the interruption, but never one to shunt aside a pretty lady, he walked on over to her.

"Excuse me mister, but could you answer some questions for me? I'm really really curious." She began, putting on her politest demeanor.

"Fire away doll." He said crossing his arms in a relaxed stance.

"Well, why is everything so worn down? Is the hospital going out of business?"

"Why no. Financially we're just fine, but all this union nonsense has half our staff on strike."

"On strike? Why would they just quit when there are people here that need them?"

"Ahh, it's complicated..." He said pulling the cigarette out from behind his ear and rolling it over his fingers. "It's only been two weeks and this place is already starting to fall apart, we seriously need some extra staff to help out until the negations fall through. Christ what a mess..." He said running his fingers through his hair.

Millie had thanked the kind man and let him on his way. An idea was beginning to form, albeit it was somewhat of a manipulative idea, but hey, it would be for a good cause on more than one account. Not long after she had her idea she was called into the directors office.

The man watched impassively as Millie went into her spiel, waiting for her to stop babbling on. When she had finished he had politely yet condescendingly told her what each and every other place had.

"I'm sorry young lady but we can only administer medication to patients admitted to the hospital."

"Isn't there any other way? I'm sure we could work something out." She pleaded.

"If you are trying to bribe me miss, it won't work. There is not much you could offer anyway, I'm afraid."

"I wasn't trying to bribe you!" She said indignantly. "I was just saying that we could possibly help each other out."

"Alright then...tell me. I know what you want, for me to just hand you medication without going through the proper channels, but what is it that you could offer me?"

"Like I said...help." She said, surprised that he didn't get it already.

"Excuse me?"

"Help. I talked with one of the nurses outside and he said that there is a shortage of helping hands around here. And from looking around from what I've seen...he's right. I could help out around here; I'm a real hard worker! And you won't even have to pay me! We'll just call it charity! How about that?"

Millie could see that the man was seriously considering her offer. He tapped his fingers against his desk rhythmically, eyes glazed as he thought hard. Millie decided to go for the extra push.

"I promise I'll work whatever hours you need me too and I'll stick around until you get all of your old workers to back. How does that sound?" He stared at her hard for a moment. He then spoke up slowly, suspiciously.

"How do I know that you won't just run off once I give you the medicine?"

"What? Is my word not good enough?" She asked, hurt.

"Frankly, no. But then again...I've just had a thought. Instead of giving you the entire dosage of medicine...what if I gave it to you at the end of every work day. Think of it as...uh...your wages."

"Yes sir!" She said, jumping up and offering her hand in a shake of agreement.

All of that had been a few days ago. She was now working away and they were really putting her through her paces. Millie had been stationed working on the first floor. She worked twelve hour shifts, going overtime an hour twice already. All the bustling around the hospital was quickly exhausting, and she missed being back at the little apartment with her friends. And she worried about them too. But on the other hand, having the chance to help out all of these nice people was very gratifying. She didn't have much interaction with the patients, but whenever she did, she always tried to put on her best happy face to try and cheer them up and make them forget their problems. Every time one of them returned her smile she felt some of her own pain ease slightly. It wasn't enough to make it go away but it helped. Remembering this, she wiped away the frown that was slowly forming and put on a bright smile as she carried food into the next patients room.

"Rise and shine Ms. Maples..."

-L&P-

That evening Millie drug herself up the stairs to their apartment. Her heavy stun gun weighed her down every step of the way but she refused to leave it behind, she had been taught better than to walk around unarmed. She fumbled around with the stuff in her pockets before she found the key.

"I'm home..." She said in more of a sigh than a greeting call. She dropped her stuff by the door then flopped over on the couch face first. The smell of something burning reached her nose, but she didn't budge, she didn't care at the moment.

"Hey welcome back Dr. Thompson!" A cheery voice called from in the kitchen. "I though you were coming back sooner. Actually I was starting to get worried."

"You don't have to worry about me Mr. Typhoon. I'm a big girl and can take care of myself. I even tie my own shoelaces now." She said, lifting her head long enough to speak then letting it drop back down. She heard a chuckle come from the kitchen and smiled. The smile faded a little bit when she looked at the closed bedroom door. She wanted to ask how Meryl was doing but she could already guess. And Vash seemed like he was in a good mood and she didn't want him to clam up again on her. So she sat up and asked something else that had been on her mind the whole day.

"Hey Vash?"

"Yeah Millie?" He said peering around the doorway. She started for a moment when she saw the large red smear across the side of his face, thinking that he had been injured, but giggled as she realized it was only spaghetti sauce.

"Where do you think that the grocery stores get salmon?"

"You know I've never really thought about it."

"Never ever?"

"Nope"

"Do you think it's actually fish or something else like, uh, sandworm or something?"

"I sure hope its fish. Although now that you mention it, something smells fishy about the whole deal." he said, scratching his head with the handle end of a spoon. "I kinda wish you hadn't said anything. The thought of having been munching away on sandworms for the past hundred years is kinda making my stomach turn. Bleh." He made a face then disappeared back into the kitchen.

She laughed to herself then decided that while he was busy she would slip in and check and see how Meryl was doing. She opened the door quietly and slipped inside.

"Hey Millie." A voice said, startling her.

"Meryl! You're awake!" She said practically leaping for joy as she ran over to the bed. Meryl held her left hand up defensively, halfway fearing that Millie would tackle her in an embrace. Millie showed a little self control and stopped when she was right at the edge of the bed.

"I'm so glad you're awake now. You have no idea how worried I was about you. I've been doing all of this work at this really nice hospital to get medicine for you. Everywhere else I went to wouldn't help me. It's called St. Richards. When you get better you should come around and see it sometime. Oh, I forgot that you can't, that's why I'm working there. Ha ha. What happened Meryl? Why did you get into a gun fight with that man? He seemed really polite too. And are you sure that you're ok?" All of this came out in one almighty rush, her voice hitching at the end as she became overwhelmed with emotion. Meryl was slightly taken aback by this sudden onslaught, but soon regained her wits and gave Millie her most reassuring smile.

"Of course I'm alright. It's going to take more than that to keep me down!" She said, giving her a thumbs up.

"Well thank goodness...hey, what's all this?" Millie asked, looking at the papers scattered around.

"Oh it's just the company's regulations manual. I've been looking over it for typos."

"But why?" Millie asked picking up one of the official looking papers.

"No real reason. I'm just trying to keep my mind busy, that's all. It helps take my focus off of this." She said, lightly touching her shoulder.

"It must hurt a whole lot. I'm sorry."

"Nah, don't worry about it. It's not your fault."

"But it's still awful. If only I had gone with you."

"Stop that." Meryl said a little more sharply than she intended. Millie looked at her questioningly, somewhat hurt. "I don't want you thinking like that Millie. If you spend all your time dwelling on the 'what ifs' then you...well...it only does more harm than good. Ok? I'm fine now, and let's leave it at that." She said, voice trailing away.

"Alright." Millie said, not convinced that her friend was ok at all. But she also knew that Meryl would never say anything about what was bothering her. Nobody was telling her anything! She hated being left in the dark. But she also knew how to respect other peoples privacy. All she could do was be ready and willing to listen whenever someone did need to talk.

A loud clatter from the kitchen followed by muffled words of frustration shook them from the temporary silence that had stolen over them. Millie shook her head and laughed a little.

"I suppose I should go help out, huh?"

"I would say relax because you're doing all the work at the moment, but I can smell the smoke from here. I'm just starting to get used to this place...I would hate to see it burnt down." Meryl said, turning back to the dull papers once more.

Even though she was exhausted Millie was doing her best to keep conversation going at dinner, but ended up doing most of the talking herself. She told them all about the hospital, what her duties were, all the nice people, and Mr. Johnson and his conspiracy theories. When that well had dried up she began talking about her hometown and her family. She had plenty of ammunition there. There was a lot of stores to be told when you had grown up in a house with ten other brothers and sisters. In fact, the people of her hometown had called them the Thompson litter.

Her audience was a polite one. They listened attentively, asked questions in all the right places, interjected at the right spots, but the atmosphere was really subdued. Millie began to get the feeling that they were only pretending to be entertained. Frustrated, but hiding it well, she began to ease off. She had to get up early in the morning anyway, and who knows, maybe they all would feel better once they had gotten more rest.

-L&P-

"Hey Millie?" Sam, the guy with the cigarette who she had talked to on her first visit here, stuck his head into the room and asked.

"Yeah? What's up?" She asked, plopping the dirty mop back into the bucket before looking up.

"Oh, if you're too busy doll I can always come back later." He said, retreating further behind the door.

"No, I just finished. What do you need help with?" She asked, wiping her forehead.

"I just need help moving some supplies up to the forth floor. That is, if you don't mind." He asked shyly. He had never been one to be intimidated by the fairer sex but this girl was almost inhuman. She never seemed to get tired and Sam swore that she could lift him up one handed without straining in the slightest, and giggle about it all the while. He actually found it kind of hot, in a 'look but don't touch' kinda way.

"Alrighty Sam, just let me dump this water and put the stuff away and I'll be right there."

"Ok. See ya in a few." He said, disappearing around the corner with a wave. She sighed as he left. She was tired but was determined to work her hardest today for two reasons. One, it was because it was her one week anniversary of working here. And two, it was because everyone expected her to leave. She wasn't working for medicines anymore; she was going solely based on her promise to help. And obviously it was a promise everyone expected her to break. Millie didn't know how the word got about for her real reasons for coming to St. Richards, but it seemed as if everyone knew...although it was kept hush hush. Well she was going to show them she was serious about keeping her promises and she was going to make darn sure that everyone here didn't forget it!

She had hoped that time and rest would resolve everything at home, but it only seemed to be getting weirder. It was just so darn quiet there! Nobody was saying anything when there was obviously something pressing to be said. Millie had tried to ignore it and act as if nothing was wrong, but the quietness of her two companions cowed her into silence as well. Well no more, she thought determinedly. Once she got home today she was going to sit down and have a talk with each of them to sort this problem out! She missed it how it used to be...all the joking and carrying on. It was really fun and she hated to see them act so sad.

Millie absently strolled on into the storage room where Sam was waiting, still off in thought.

"What's with the long face doll?" Sam asked, stacking up boxes of gauze and lifting them all at once.

"Oh its just a few friends of mine are having problems and I don't quiet know what to do about it." She said, gathering up several boxes as well.

"Oh yeah? What kind of problems?" He asked, leading the way out of the store room and headed for the stairs with Millie following close.

"That's the problem, I don't know. Neither of them will say anything. It's getting kinda depressing. And I already have enough on my mind."

"Well have they been fighting, having money problems, jealousy? Throw me a bone here."

"Maybe they have been fighting, I don't know. He told me that she had said that she didn't want to talk to him anymore, and I guess they both took it seriously. But I can't imagine why though. Its...so confusing and they won't talk to me. Although tonight I plan on forcing it out of them, one way or the other!" Sam laughed.

"And I don't doubt you could big girl, although go easy on them, it may just be a lovers spat."

"What? Oh, no...Hehe they're just friends, that's all."

"If you say so." Sam said, not entirely convinced.

On their third and final trip up to there, Millie asked Sam something that had been bothering her ever since coming up to this floor.

"Hey Sam? Why is it so quiet up here? There's hardly anyone around."

"Here at St. Richards we call this the ghost floor." He said in a dramatic and spooky voice. She laughed at him.

"How come?"

"Well, it's sad really. This is the floor where we place our most unfortunate patients. Those with no family, those that are terminal, and those we don't think will ever wake up again. Sorry for the uncalled for humor back there, it's just that ya either gotta laugh or cry, and personally I would rather laugh."

"I know someone just like you. And yes it is very sad. None of these people get visitors?"

"Well one or two. Some people here we don't even know who they are."

"What? They won't tell you?"

"Nah, they _can't_ tell us."

"Sam! Millie! What are you two doing up here with those?" the head nurse from the first floor sharply called out, walking briskly up towards them. She was a humorless severe woman, with her hair always pulled back painfully tight. Millie had spoken with her a few times, but each time she ended up getting told off about something. Normally the woman would look right through her as if she didn't exist.

"Just moving these to the forth floor stock room mam." Sam said, cowed as well.

"They do not belong here." She said tersely. "When I had come back from my break the supply room on the ground floor was empty. I've been looking everywhere for the missing supplies and now it seems I have found my culprits." She said glairing at the two of them.

"Gee don't make it sound like were thieves or anything. I was told to move some of the extra supplies up here."

"Oh really? Under whose orders?"

"The directors." Sam said defiantly.

"Well see about that." She said then turned on her heel and left. Sam quickly handed over the two boxes he was carrying to Millie.

"Here, put these up for me. I gotta go make sure Mr. Fuller doesn't try and pin this one on me. Otherwise that harpy will lynch me." He said then quickly trotted away after her.

Millie stood there, confused by what had just transpired, then shrugged it off and went to the stock room. Once she had put the things away she was uncertain of what to do next. Should she wait for Sam to come back? Should she get back to work downstairs or was she in trouble too? Finally she decided to hang around on this floor. If she and Sam were in trouble she didn't want to irritate the scary lady further by making her have to hunt her down.

Several weary nurses walked down the hall, but other than that there was no activity. It really _was_ starting to feel like a ghost floor. Millie thought back to what Sam had said, that most of the patients here didn't have any visitors. To her that was just heartbreakingly sad. To be sick and hurting and know that no one loved you enough to come see you. It was just awful. She pushed away from her spot on the wall, determined to try and spread some of her patented Millie sunshine (as they called it on the first floor) to those here.

The first door she came to held a frail old man. He was sleeping, his breath coming in long rattling gasps. Her heart went out to him, but she didn't want to disturb him, so she moved on. The next room she looked into she was greeted by multiple stares. A small family was sitting around the bedside of a young man, no more than fourteen, whose head was heavily bandaged. He appeared to be awake but he didn't move, didn't blink...

"Sorry." She whispered to the grieving family then slipped away. Hoping that she wouldn't disturb anybody else, she quietly opened the next door and peered inside.

"Oh my God..."

-L&P-

Sam took the stairs two at a time, fuming. That...that _banshee_ had gotten her way after all. Now he and Millie would have to move _all_ those boxes _all_ the way back down to the first floor. Dammit, this floor needed supplies too, but nooooo, Ms. Queen of the Universe always had to have her way. He muttered and swore all the way back to the forth floor stock room to give Millie the bad news.

"Hey, sorry doll but we...hey...where'd you go?" He asked the empty room. Puzzled, he looked in the back but came up empty. He peered each way down the hall. No Millie. Curious, he walked down the hall to see if she had gone into any of the patients rooms. First...nope. Second...oops, excuse me. Third...

"Hey, there you are. What are you doing in here?" He said to her. She had her back to him, ignoring him as she closely observed the patient. "Hellooo Millie...are you still on this planet?" He said walking up to her. Abruptly she whirled around on him, causing him to take an instinctive step back. He took another once he got a good look at her. Tears were fiercely running down her face, but she wasn't making a sound. And she was deathly pale, as if she had seen a ghost.

Wordlessly, she strode towards him, picked him up by his collar, and carried him out into the hall. Sam pulled at the shirt digging into his neck. He was correct in assuming earlier that she could pick him up one handed, but he wished that he had also been right about the giggling part too. She sat him down but forced him back against the wall.

"How?" She choked out the single word.

"Millie...your kinda scaring me." He said, cowering.

"How!" She yelled this time.

"How what?" Sam asked, conversely his voice getting smaller.

"How is that man here? How?"

"It's a hospital..."

"He was dead! He told me he was dead!" She said, breaking down completely. Needless to say, Sam was thoroughly freaked out by now.

"Uhh..." He stupidly uttered, trying to think of anything to say to the crazy woman that had him cornered. Abruptly she took him up in a bear hug, his back popping in at least five places. She was laughing and sobbing at the same time.

"He...he didn't...leave me..."

Quite soon after she and Sam were sitting in the directors office with him and the head nurse from the forth floor (who was the polar opposite of the nurse from the first floor). Millie was still crying quiet freely and Sam was still scared into silence so it was up to Mr. Fuller, as always he thought, to get this conversation going.

"Let me get this straight...you know the man we currently have in four twelve?"

"Uh-huh." She said, lip quivering. "I...I...we thought he was...dead...so we left him. But how...how is he here? How is he?"

"Well our patient here had been brought in by the Calvary, along with numerous others." The nurse said kindly, holding her in a partial hug.

"The Calvary?"

"Yes. They had been investigating the disappearances down south. Your friend here was just one of the precious few that they actually found."

"But...but he was gone. I don't understand."

"The human body is an amazing thing young miss." The director began. "Granted, it is prone to many shortcomings and flaws, but it also has incredible strengths. We were built to survive. And survive this man did. Please don't feel guilty about moving on whenever you had thought he had passed. Although it is rare, it's not entirely unheard of for a mortician to be frightened out of his wits by someone miraculously waking up in the morgue."

"So he's going to be ok?" She asked hopefully. The nurse and the director exchanged looks. The head nurse spoke up next.

"Our patient here is alive, granted, but we don't know if he will ever recover or not."

"But what...what do you mean?" Millie cried, horrified.

"The injuries we can take care of, but we don't know the full extent of the damage up here." She said tapping the side of her head. "Other than a brief moment of consciousness and incoherent muttering when we had first received him, he has not shown a response to any stimuli. I'm sorry, I know this is hard to hear Millie, but we just don't know if he'll ever wake up again. Please try to understand..."

"I do. And I know that he will wake up too."

"Millie..."

"I know it! He's come too far and fought too hard to give up now! I'll be there to help him. After all, he promised me..."

"Aright Millie, aright." Mr. Fuller said, stopping her before she got worked up again. "Because we still need you help, and I'm sure that you will want to be near your friend, how about I transfer you to work up here in the fourth floor?"

"Yes sir! I would like that very much sir!"

-L&P-

Darn these sleeves, Meryl thought, yet again, as the bunched up sleeve slipped down her arm to get in the way. The worn sweat shirt was only a bazillion sizes too big for her. It kept threatening to slip completely off her shoulders and it hung midway down her thighs, practically skirt length. It made her think of years back when she used to try on her fathers clothes and parade around in them then get scolded for it. The memory of it brought back a smile. Well, her fathers shirt this was not, but it was big enough to make her feel that small again. She held her arm straight up into the air and the fabric fell down to bunch around her shoulder. Using her teeth and right hand, arm clumsily supported by a sling, she tried to roll the darn thing up so she could get back to cooking.

It was laundry day, and she had no other choice but to borrow some clothes. She had been in her night shirt for over a week so it desperately needed washed. Her _only_ outfit had been carved up; she doubted that the stains would have ever come out anyway. And Millie's pj's had been covered in spaghetti blots. So it was either hide under the blankets for the rest of the day or borrow from him. It was a little awkward, but better than the alternative, she had been getting too restless anymore to stay in bed. That's why she was now working on getting a decent dinner put together, but in doing it one handed with a shirt that was about to drop off her any moment she had her work cut out for her.

Satisfied that the sleeve bunched up enough to stay put for at least another five minuets, she went back to slowly and crookedly chopping up vegetables for soup.

"I've got everything washed up and rinsed out. Watch your head when you go into the bathroom, everything's hanging up in there." Vash reported, stepping into the doorway.

"Thank you. Hopefully Millie will get here soon so her hospital clothes will be dry by morning. She told me that some nurse lady fussed at her for wearing her usual clothes to work once." She said quietly, not turning around.

"They should be...I'll hang them by that itty bitty window at the far wall. You know...the one where that cat keeps getting in at."

"Alright." She said, dumping what she had already chopped up into the pot. She went about her business, growing increasingly uncomfortable when he didn't leave.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" He asked finally, breaking the long stretch of silence.

"Millie works all day and you've been cooking the past week, it's about time I did something around here too."

"Well, you've kinda had a good reason not to." He pointed out.

"It still doesn't make me feel any less worthless."

"Meryl...your not..."

"Here." She said, cutting him off and handing over the knife. "Peel the potatoes please. I don't think I can do it one handed. Especially with this hand. I'm defiantly not a lefty."

"Neither am I." He said, taking it and going over to the sink. She smirked a little at the bad joke, but that was it. Strike one, he thought with an inward sigh. The potato skins began to drop into the sink sliver by sliver.

If Millie thought that the mood of the apartment was depressing her, it was positively eating away at him. And the worst part of it was, he didn't know of anything that could ever make it right. What had happened at the federal building...no apology he could ever offer would change the fact that she was now on the wrong side of the law. And it was all his fault.

He sighed inwardly again. No wonder she didn't want to talk to him, that she tried her best to avoid him (an impressive feat considering they were both stuck in a cramped apartment). It really hurt. Three of them had been getting so close, and then this had to happen. Now her career and life had been ruined by that very closeness. She probably hated him for it but was too kind of a soul to tell him so. It seemed to be his fate; to ruin others lives whenever he drew near.

"Don't let Millie catch you doing that." A soft voice said from the other side of the kitchen, suspiring him. The knife slipped, nicking the faux skin of his left thumb. He would seal it up later.

"Huh? Doing what?" He asked, turning around.

"Brooding. She'll scold you for it, believe me...I know." She kidded halfheartedly. He smiled.

"I was not brooding...I was...reflecting. Yeah, that's it, reflecting."

"Call it whatever you want, she'll fuss at you all the same."

"Oh yeah? Just a 'stop that' fuss or a headlock fuss?"

"Hmm...Knowing Millie both probably." She said, dumping a few more ingredients into the pot. "Done yet?"

"Oh. No, sorry. I was taking my time. I'm on the last one." Common Vash, think of something to talk about...think, think!

"Sooo...uh, anything interesting on the satellite lately? I hear that they're holding the ninety third annual Thomas derby this week."

"Vash, that radio had been broken before we even got here." Strike two.

"Oh, yeah right." He tried to laugh it off. Quick, think of something before she gets mad or goes to leave. "I could probably fix it, you know, if you did want something on the radio. That way it wouldn't be so quiet around here. Not that your not good company or anything, no I didn't mean it like that. It's just that I...er, well you...um...do you want me to cut these up too?" He asked sheepishly, holding the peeled potatoes up. Strike three! You're Out!

"You don't have to do that you know. Try and make small talk. I'm fine. Really."

"No you're not." He said, all joking aside now. "You're not fine." He said, walking over and setting the vegetables down on the counter. She continued to stir the contents of the pot, refusing to look up at him. "In fact, you're about as far from fine as it gets." No response. "I want to tell you that I'm sorry. To say something, anything to try and fix things but I can't because I know that it will be nowhere near good enough."

"I told you not to worry about it, so please...just stop."

"How can I not worry about it Meryl? Just look at you, and it's my fault."

"No its not..."

"And there's nothing I can do to help, short of turning myself in and telling them it wasn't your choice."

"I said stop it!" She said sharply, finally turning to face him. Her gaze angry, his passive. They remained like that for several long moments until a voice rang out from the living room.

"I'm home!" Millie called out, followed by the loud thud of her dropping her gun. They looked from the doorway back to each other. Meryl was the first to break her gaze.

"Just cut those up and throw them in." She said, pointing to the potatoes. "It will be done in about thirty minuets." Then she turned and walked out the door. He watched as she left, making no move to finish the meal. Millie's amused squeal of 'That looks like a poofy dress on you!' rang out from the living room. He didn't hear Meryl's reply, if she had even answered at all. He looked down to the small cut on his thumb.

"What are you going to do now?" He quietly asked himself.

-L&P-

"I've got something to ask you. I know you won't want to talk about it but I need to know. Please..." Millie began, her food largely untouched. They were all sitting in the living room, the girls piled on the couch and Vash chivalrously taking the uncomfortable little crate.

"What is it Millie?" He asked her setting his bowl down, an uneasy feeling setting in.

"I need to know what happened back at Tonim. What happened to him?"

"Millie, why are you asking about this now?" Meryl asked.

"Because...I just need to know. Please tell me." She pleaded. He sighed heavily, running a hand over his face. After a long moment, he began.

"There were two of them. One was a sniper outside of town and the other I never caught sight of. I went for the sniper while Wolfwood took the one that was still in town. I came back first. I was so tore up about having someone else die on me that I didn't notice that he had been injured. Only after he left did I see the blood." He stopped, uncomfortable with the unexpected conversation. Millie's silence urged him onward. "I followed the trail to the church, but I hesitated to go inside. I didn't want to see what I knew I would find. But eventually...I went in. He had gone to kneel at the alter, held up only by his cross..." he trailed off, voice breaking. He looked away to the floor, tears beginning to flow.

"What happened next?" Millie asked, silently crying as well.

"I went up to him, but he was already gone. He wasn't breathing, he...I would have done something more, would have given him a decent place to rest, but I...I couldn't take the sight of him like that any more. I took his gun and laid him at the alter. It seemed fitting...for a priest. Millie I'm sorry I couldn't save him..." He said, and then buried his face in his hands. Millie was over there in an instant, hugging him.

"You would have if you could've. I know. So please don't be so hard on yourself, he would tell you the same thing. I know he would. I'm sorry for asking you such a hard thing, but I had to know so thank you. I've...I've got to go wash up now...it's been a long day." She said, wiping the tears away and leaving for the bathroom as new ones took their place. She closed the door quickly behind her without a look back. Millie wanted to tell him the truth, anything to keep him from being so sad, but she couldn't let him know. Not yet. She wanted Nicholas to come and tell them himself. She had tried to get him to wake up all day, but he remained unconscious. But that didn't shake her ironclad unyielding faith that he would wake up, and soon. He had survived, that in itself was a miracle. And everything God does is for a reason. It would make no sense for him to be alive but to never live again. She would have to keep believing that he would be ok and be there for him.

But this left her with a dilemma. The union case, so she had heard, would be settled in two days. That meant the hospital would be restaffed and she would be free from her promise. How would she continue to stay by his side without lying to her friends? And Vash had to get back to New Oregon to take care of Knives. She didn't know what to do; all she knew was that it didn't feel right to tell them about Wolfwood, that it was his place to do so. She would just have to take it one day at a time and rely on her heart to tell her what to do. It had never let her down before, so she would continue to keep her faith in it.

It was these very thoughts that got her through the long night that night and gave her an extra something in her step that very morning. She woke up without the least bit of groggy hesitation that usually plagued her when she woke. She got ready quickly and quietly instead of fumbling around like she typically did. Meryl never made a sound from the bed, and Vash never stirred from his spot in the living room floor (Millie took the couch. Meryl had offered to share the bed but Millie was terrified of rolling over and hitting Meryl in her sleep). She opted to skip out on breakfast this morning and was out the door before the second sun had risen.

It was a bright and beautiful Friday morning. People were out and about already and the air had a certain freshness that it had been lacking for the past few weeks. That freshness was assurance. Assurance that everything would soon be alright and joy just emanated from that knowledge. She couldn't spread that knowledge, not yet, but she could take other little steps to help spread some of that happiness. This included greeting and smiling at everyone she passed by. And because she didn't have to be in at the hospital until this evening, she decided to do a little shopping.

She wasn't too sure about what all Vash would have liked so she went with the sure-fire default that she knew he would want: donuts. Meryl's gift was one of necessity as well as friendship: new clothes. She didn't have any luck finding one like the outfit Meryl had custom made back in December, so she went for the next best thing: a white button up long sleeved blouse with a short white skirt and shoes to match. Millie was quiet pleased with what she had picked out although she had been accused of having no fashion sense on more that one occasion. She didn't quite see why; her clothes fit properly and was always neatly pressed. Oh well.

She walked along the sidewalk, bags in hand, whistling some song that she had long ago forgotten the name to. She was halfway considering buying something for herself as long as it didn't cost too much, but she couldn't for the life of her think of what she wanted. She looked in through all the shop windows, but saw nothing that appealed to her. She was halfway tempted to get an adorable black cat stuffy doll, but decided to pass on it. Really, she admitted to herself, all she wanted was to deliver her gifts to see her friends smile, and then get back to where he was resting. That was what she was wanting...to see him again. To watch the rise and fall of his chest to know that he was, without a doubt, alive.

She was about to turn and leave the chain of stores when a flyer on one of the windows caught her eye. The very same flyer in coarse yellow paper had been hung up in every other store but she had been too busy shopping to read them. But this time she spared a glance at one, and a familiar name caught her eye.

-L&P-

The moment Millie had left the apartment Vash climbed up on the couch. It was uncomfortable, but the floor was worse. It would still be another hour or so until Meryl would stir, but until then he wanted to try and catch a few more z's. He had just drifted off when the front door unlocked and Millie stepped back in. He grumbled a little bit, then gathered up his blanket to move back over to the floor.

"Do you know if Meryl is up? I need to talk with her about something." Millie asked him.

"Urmuwah hum." He said into the pillow and pulled the covers over his head. He pulled them back down again then sat up. "What's that? It smells good."

"Huh? Oh, yeah! Here I got these for you." She said reaching into her shopping bag and pulled out the pack of donuts. He was up and eating before she even had a chance to pull her hand away.

"Mank wo mo mufh! Ifs enn orever since I've had some orf fees!" He said, finishing one and immediately starting on another. Millie couldn't help but laugh. She turned to look as the bedroom door opened.

"What's going on in here?" Meryl asked sleepily, rubbing her eyes. "Millie, what are you doing back so early?"

"Oh, I didn't have to be there for a while so I went out. And I...I got you something that I hope you will like...and I found something that I know you won't." She said uncomfortably, shuffling her feet.

"Huh?"

"Uh, sit down. I want to give you what I hope you will like first." Meryl went over and sat down by Vash, who was eating a little more quietly, his curiosity caught as well. "Ok. Since I'm the one who ruined your old clothes, it's only fair that I got you some new ones." Millie announced, holding out the bag for Meryl. She took it, some of the sleepy confusion still in her eyes. She pulled out the new white clothes, they were just her size. The buttons of the blouse had a silvery mother of pearl sheen to them.

"Millie, thank you. They're beautiful, but you didn't have to."

"What else were you going to wear? Besides, I think they'll suit you."

"I think so too. Thank you Millie." She said folding them up neatly and placing them back inside of the bag. "Now what about this thing that you _know_ I wouldn't like. What is it?"

"Well, I...uh..." She stammered, fidgeting about.

"Common, let us see. I want to know too." Vash said, setting the empty snack box aside (it had been a sixteen pack!). Millie sighed deeply, not liking where this might go, and reached into her pocket. She pulled out a little square of folded coarse paper and handed it to Meryl. Frowning, she unfolded it and took a look. After just a partial glance at it she tried to close the paper so that Vash wouldn't see. But he had already seen enough and was pulling it out of her hands. She tensed as he opened it and read the poster in its entirety. WANTED. Alive: Meryl Stryfe. $$20,000,000. Wanted for Assault, Theft, Obstruction of Justice, And Wanted In Connection With Outlaw Vash The Stampede. Physical Description...He folded it shut and looked away. Meryl took it back and read it over herself.

"I saw it in a window while I was out. I figured it would be best to show you."

"Twenty million. Not too bad..." Meryl muttered. "Nowhere near sixty billion, but still...Hey! I do _not_ weigh that much! Whoever they got their information from is sadly mistaken." She said loftily, folding the poster up and tossing it down into the bag. She 'humpfed' and stood up. "Thank you Millie for bringing that to me. It'll go good in a scrap book. Now if you'll excuse me, I think I'll go try these on now."

"How can you be so casual about this?" Vash asked quietly, looking up at her. "How can you stand there and act like it's nothing at all?"

"You act like it's nothing all the time. Why can't I do the same?" She said turning back to face him.

"Meryl, you don't understand..."

"No, maybe not." She cut him off. "But I knew what I was doing then, and I know what you're doing now. This was _my_ decision. Mine. And I'm not going to have you trying to take responsibility for my actions. Besides, we all knew that this was going to happen and that little piece of paper changes nothing."

"Meryl it changes everything. That little piece of paper means that countless people on this planet are going to be after you now. Why can't you see that?" He said standing, growing increasingly upset by the second. "How can you act like it's nothing and joke about it? Your life..."

"_You_ act like it's nothing." She said marching right up to him.

"Meryl..."

"_You_ joke around." She said, punctuating this by poking him in the chest. "This, coming from the man who has seen over a hundred and thirty years of heartbreak that can still manage to joke around and play? How come _you_ can act like it's nothing and I can't? How come only _you_ can get into deep trouble trying to help another out but I can't? I am not a child! And you are a hypocrite! Why...why..." Her voice cracked and gave way. She turned around and crossed her arms, furious that she couldn't get out what she was trying to express.

"I can because I have nothing left to lose. But you had everything to lose. Your job, your safety, your home...I didn't want you to come to this because I didn't want you to have to live like me, to...to look like me, to want love and peace but never be able to have them. And I joke around because it's either laugh or cry, and I..." His voice broke much like hers had. She couldn't take any more. She ran from the room, locking the bedroom door behind her and ducking away in the bathroom for good measure.

Meryl knew that she had screwed up, and there was no way she could fix it either. In trying to help him she had only made it so much worse. He was in there, right now, crying because of her. For her. She couldn't fix this problem, but she could make sure that she didn't make any more for him.

-L&P-

Millie went about her work halfheartedly. The nurses of this floor didn't know her all that well, so they just left her be. She missed her friends down on the first floor. She couldn't exactly tell them all her problems but a happy smiling face would have helped. But no...she was on the ghost floor now, with only the unfortunate and the dying to keep her company. The dusty stone floor began to blur as tears began to well up in her eyes. Calmly she set her broom aside in an out of the way corner, made her way to room four twelve, and leaned heavily on the edge of the bed crying her eyes out into the worn linens.

She tried to keep quiet for his sake but it seemed the more she tried the harder the tears wanted to come out. She clenched at the sheets, knuckles turning white through the strain. Softly a hand rested on top of her head.

"Shh now...no more..." A faint dry voice said. She froze instantly, all crying forgotten. She slowly sat up to see a pair of weathered grey eyes crinkling slightly at her in a smile. "Hey there big girl..."

"...You're...really awake...I thought you were gone and then I found you again, then..."She whispered. Words were failing her. He was looking at her, he was talking, he was going to be alright...

"I was gone...but...thank God for mercy..." He trailed off, closing his eyes again. She was frightened for a moment but he continued to speak. "I've waited so long, for my second chance...my chance to start over. But I was...Now though..." He looked back at her, seeming to gain strength from the words. "... Now I can. I can do things right this time...because I've been given my second chance...I've been redeemed..."

She burst out into renewed tears, of joy this time. She wanted to take him up into an embrace and never let him go, but she settled for leaning forward and giving him a small kiss on the forehead. He caught her hand as she sat down and held onto it tightly, a mere shadow of his former strength but with the firmness of one who was determined to hang on, to live.

He was exhausted and couldn't say much. She was speechless and couldn't find any words to say. But still everything that needed to be conveyed was known, and it was all said in the silence.

A nurse hunting for her nearly shrieked in surprise when she saw that the patient that they all had thought was lost was now awake. A doctor was called in immediately and after a quick examination Wolfwood was immediately moved away from the ghost floor to the recovery floor, and Millie was there with him every step of the way. He had fallen asleep for a few hours after that, but woke up again later in the evening. He was more alert than earlier that morning, but still lacked the strength to even sit up. Considering the condition that everyone had thought he was in, he was doing quiet well. Millie had practically interrogated the doctor and the nurses about his condition, his stay here, and most importantly, when would he be well enough to walk out. Their understanding had come through in the way that they would smile, having to deal with parents/spouses/and children exactly like her. None of their answers were definite, except they all hinged on the fact that it was up to him. They quickly added, upon seeing her unsatisfied glare, that with support he would be on his way even faster. He watched her, amused, as she went through this with every new face. She sat down with a huff then immediately flipped back over to smiles when she looked at him.

"In that big of a hurry to get me out of here? I think a vacation would be nice for once."

"I just hate seeing you hurt and in the hospital, it makes me so sad."

"Better than in the ground..."

"Yes. And I want to take you to see Vash and Meryl. They still don't know that you're here and alive."

"Don't know...why?"

"I was waiting until you could tell them yourselves, so they really will believe that you're ok."

"Why don't you tell them anyway? That way you can say 'I told you so' when they don't believe you and you can bring them here to prove it."

"Really? You want me to?"

"Sure. And besides, I have a thing or two to say to needle noggin about nearly getting himself killed by Knives."

"Ok! Wait...how do you know about that?" Wolfwood chuckled weakly at her.

"I'll tell you later...I don't have the energy to now. In fact, I think I would like to sleep now..."

"Well you go ahead." She said, leaning over and giving him a kiss on the cheek, getting nothing but scruff. "I'll go tell them the good news" She said, but he had already drifted off.

Millie practically ran all the way home. She was so excited and happy she was starting to wonder if her heart could take it. Wait 'till they heard! She could just see their faces now. Millie wondered if they would believe her or not. But then again it didn't matter. She ran up the apartment stairs two, no, three at a time. Luckily the front door was unlocked because she just didn't have the time to fool with something as trivial as keys and locks. This was important!

"I'm Back! And I have something wonderful to tell you all!" She said, bursting in the front door. The living room was empty, and a quick glance to the kitchen said it was empty as well. A few bags of groceries sat in there, Vash had already done the shopping for her. She ran to the bedroom and threw the door open. "Guys, I have great news...hey...what's wrong?" She asked, all the joy draining out of her to be replaced by worry.

Vash was sitting alone on the edge of the bed, his elbows propped up on his knees, and his face hidden in his hands. He was too quiet, too still, for Millie's liking. Lying beside him on the bed was a rumpled up sheet of yellowed paper. A second glance around the room revealed to her that they were the only ones in it.

"Vash, what's wrong? Where's Meryl?" She asked, worry turning to fear. Wordlessly, and without looking up, he handed her the paper then hid his face in his hands once more. Millie looked down at the paper; it was the wanted poster. Slightly confused, she turned it over. There on the back, written in her brisk business-like handwriting, was a note from Meryl.

_By the time that one of you finds this I'll be well on my way out of January. I once received a piece of wisdom from someone that changed my life; I'm going back there to see if they have anything to offer me now that will help me find my way. I'm not saying where this place is because I don't want to be followed...and because I'm not coming back. I guess I have some explaining to do huh? Especially to you Millie, so I'll start with you first. _

_I suppose that you will see this as a betrayal of your trust—leaving without you. But I have lead you into too many dangerous situations, for both professional and selfish reasons, to continue to do so any longer. I've never asked you to come with me, I've just always took it for granted that you would always be there, and I've never thanked you for it. I've kept a lot of things hidden from you, when you've always spoken with me honestly. And I don't even want to go into the way I behaved when you were right and I was wrong. I guess I'm trying to say is that you were the best of friends that I could have ever have asked for...and one that I never really deserved. For safety's sake, please don't mention me to anyone. And it would be smart if you went under a pseudonym for a while as well. And if, which I highly doubt, worse does come to worse—just tell them the truth...that I did it on my own and you weren't involved. That's all I can think of for now to tell you. I'm sure that more will come to me later, but by then it will be too late. So, take care._

_Vash...I don't even know where to start with you. Nothing can ever be easy when it comes to you, can it? That was uncalled for, I'm sorry. I suppose that is as good a place to start as any, saying I'm sorry, I certainly have enough reasons to. I suppose what is bothering me the most is what happened back at L.R... If only I had just listened to you for once, just once, and stayed away then maybe what happened might have not taken place. But I didn't, and now the thought 'if only' is tormenting me for it. You think that I would have learned after Jacquelyn, or nearly getting caught up in Augusta (thanks again Millie) that I would learn, but no—and I now have a scar to prove it too. I'm leaving now so I can do what you've wanted me to from nearly the first time we met—to stay away. I can see you jumping to all the wrong conclusions now so please, let me set the record straight. I don't hate you—I couldn't even if I tried. As far as the gunshot, Bernardelli, and being wanted goes...strangely enough I couldn't give a damn. Is that weird of me? I don't know, but then again I don't really care. What I __do__ care about though is that I'm only getting in your way. I'm like a cat underfoot, wanting attention but just coming off as a pest. God knows I don't want to leave, but I love you too much to have you continue to suffer on my account. What happened at the federal building...I just wanted to help out for once, to be needed by you, but I suppose the mess that I made knocked some sense into me. You don't need me and no amount of following you around is ever going to change that fact. So this time...I'm the one that's leaving—so you don't have to. I'll never regret knowing you. I can only pray you'll think the same of me. And don't worry about me, ok? I'll be fine. And please try to keep yourself out of trouble and in one piece for once. This is about all I can say. If I don't leave now then I never will. Goodbye._

_ Meryl_

_P.s—Millie, give my love to your family. And don't forget to clean your gun regularly._

_Vash...go take care of Knives. _

**A/n: **I would like to thank everyone who has taken the time to read my fic. I have gotten more hits than I ever expected. But as for reviews... dont make me beg people, please. If anyone disagrees with me about bringing a certian chain smoker back im sorry, but thats how I see it happening. And if this explination isn't good enough for you, Knives gives another reasion why he lived (although thats later on). Well, thats it for me. Later.


	5. Realizations

**Chapter Five:**

**Realizations**

"Excuse me...do you have a moment? I'm..." His words trailed off as the man walked on by him as if he didn't exist. Undeterred by the brush off, he tried the next one that came into sight. "Excuse me. I'm looking for a dark haired woman, dressed in white, this tall..." He said indicating in the air about chest height. The man shook his head and walked on by. Vash sighed in frustration. The apathy of these people was starting to get to him. He didn't want them to put their lives on hold for him but he would at least appreciate it they actually thought about his question before throwing out an automatic 'no'.

He sighed again when there was no one else around to ask. He sat down on the sidewalk, leaning against the crumbling plaster of the building and looking out over the bus station. Asking about her inside the station was out of the question. There were too many inside whose ridged posture and alert nature screamed fed. The task of trying to find her was made that much more difficult because he wasn't the only one looking. But that didn't matter, he hadn't searched this station and he wouldn't leave until he found out what he needed to know. He would just have to be...creative in how he got his answers. He wasn't allowed to enter in the garage area but he could question the bus drivers as they came and went. No one was giving him the time of day though. And to beat it all he wasn't even sure she had left by bus. It could have been by sand steamer, or she could have hitched a ride, or even went on foot.

He didn't know and it was maddening. He was out here grasping at straws, hoping, praying that he could find even the smallest clue as to where she went. But he had found nothing. Three days of searching and there was no trace of her. He grudgingly admitted that she was better than he had given her credit for. He didn't want to admit to defeat, but he was beginning to think that she was truly gone and that he would never see her again. All that he had left was the wanted poster with the note folded up inside of his pocket.

The drivers were milling about inside, he could see them, but they were taking their sweet time. Until they moved on he was forced to wait. In the meantime, he pulled the little paper out and read it again. The seams were starting to get a little worn as it had been opened and folded up again repeatedly. He sadly thought back to when he first had found it.

After the argument over the poster, Millie had soon left afterwards, muttering something about going to talk to someone. He had almost, almost, knocked on the bedroom door to try and coax Meryl out to talk to her, but he hesitated. He hesitated and shied away like he had been doing all week. The thought of trying to talk this out was as intimidating as it was confusing. He still wasn't sure why he didn't try to reach out, although he later wished that he had. Instead he had turned and left to do something he knew that he could handle, such as getting a few supplies for their bare cabinets. At the front door he had called out that he would be back in a little while, then before an answer could be given, he was gone.

If he thought that some relief would be found by leaving the uncomfortable apartment for a while he was mistaken. Instead of enjoying the fresh air he found himself being eaten up by guilt. He had run off while she was hurting and needed help; she wouldn't have left him if the situations had been reversed. Determined to try and help matters anyway he could, even if it meant getting chewed out, he quickly finished up the shopping and headed back.

After unlocking the front door, he went on inside. The living room was empty and the bedroom door was still shut. He sighed, she still hadn't come out yet. He dumped the stuff on the kitchen counter and tried to steel himself for the conversation, and possibly argument, that was to come. He knocked on the door.

"Meryl. Please come out. I need to talk to you." Silence. "I'm sorry if anything I said upset you. It's just that I care about you and I'm really worried so please talk to me." Silence. "Are you even awake in there?" He asked testing the door. It was unlocked and swung open easily.

"Hellooo..." He peered in cautiously. The room was empty. Curious and worried, he checked the bathroom to find it was empty as well. Frightened that something had happened while he was away, he turned back. There were no signs of a struggle; in fact, the place had been picked up a little. Even the bed had been made. There, placed on the pillow, the little square of paper caught his eye. Getting a sick feeling that he was not going to like what he found, he opened it up and began to read, and had to sit down before he was even halfway through it.

Once finished he set the paper aside, stunned. Stunned and feeling like he had just taken a hit to the stomach. The note...everything it said...he didn't know what part to think about first. So he had just sat there in silence, a gnawing emptiness eating at him. He didn't even look up when he heard thudding and an exuberant Millie burst into the room. Her mood had changed quickly though. She had read the paper quietly, while he tried to shake this surreal feeling that had come over him. Once she had finished, she quietly and calmly sat down on the bed beside of him. It was defiantly not the reaction that he had expected out of her.

"Do you think she'll come back?" He asked after several minuets had passed.

"...No. Meryl's really stubborn. Once she makes up her mind about something she sticks to it." Millie had said sadly.

"What happened with Augusta? I thought that she was bluffing when she told those people that she had seen it."

"No. She wasn't bluffing. We had a front row seat for the whole thing." Millie said, folding up the paper and setting it down between them. He looked up for the first time in two hours, giving Millie his attention. She looked down at her fingers, unsure where to start. "After you had left us in that town with the big windmill looking thingy, we were kinda lost for a while. But after chewing out some of the towns people for saying unkind things about you, she was determined to follow you anyway. By the time we got to Augusta it was already deserted. The place looked like a battle field and I was getting really scared. Then all of a sudden there was this bright light everywhere. I knew it was dangerous but it didn't stop her, she just wanted to see you again. I literally had to pick her up and carry her out of the city. Then...well you know what happened next, you were there."

"Yeah..." He said, at an utter loss at how to respond to the story and the abruptness of everything he was finding out.

"What do you want to do now?" Millie asked him several minuets later.

"Hmm?"

"Are you going back to Knives now? It's ok if you want to go, I'll understand. But I have to stay here a little longer, that is if you even want me to come along at all..."

"I...I just need to be alone for a little while."

"Ok then. I'll be...well...I'll be not here. Later..." She said quietly getting up. She closed the bedroom door behind her.

He watched her as she left then looked down to the seemingly innocent little rectangle of paper, but appearances were deceiving. On one side it held bad news, and on the other, worse news. All the weirdness of the past few days...no, all the weirdness of the past few weeks was now made clear. Why couldn't have he just went and talked to her instead of leaving like he did? Would it have done any good if he had? It was far too late to wonder about it now.

He couldn't believe that she was trying to blame herself for what had happened. If anything, he wanted to find her and argue about the fact. Nothing she could have said or done would have changed events, it was too thought out. It would just have been somebody else in their place anyway. He faintly realized that this applied to himself as well. In fact, he might not have survived if they hadn't been there to help him.

And Augusta. She actually tried to follow him in there? And she had called _him_ insane. It was flattering, in a heartbreaking kind of way. That she would risk her life for him, and repeatedly. There at Augusta, when those men were about to kill him, and at the federal building. That place...She had willingly given up everything to help him, to feel needed. God, did she really love him that much, he wondered running a hand over his face. And had he even thanked her?

No.

He hadn't.

He was too busy worrying about what was going to happen for it to even cross his mind. No wonder she had gotten upset with him in the vents and had been avoiding him all week. In his attempts to take the guilt himself he had only been making more for her. He wondered what she must think of him now; it must be bad for her to have left. She had followed him through hell and back but didn't even get one. little. thank you.

He sat there, feeling like the worst most unthankful, uncaring, and insensitive person to ever walk this planet. He would have left too; he just wondered why she hadn't done it sooner. If he had thought that she hated him before he could only wonder how she felt now. He picked up the note, fingering the edges before actually opening it. It was on the poster side. He flipped it over and started to read. He skimmed over the section dedicated to Millie, hurting at the regret and guilt that he picked up from it, and went to his part. He looked over it, but he couldn't focus enough to read it. Only little snippets jumped out at him.

'_I don't hate you—I couldn't even if I tried'..._

'_to help out for once, to be needed'..._

'_leaving—so you don't have to'..._

'_never regret knowing you'..._

'_I love you'..._

'_take care of Knives'..._

He had never told them what Rem's last words to him were. He had noticed some similarities between the two, but this was just a little uncanny. What would Rem think of all this, he wondered. What would she think of him? What would she say if she knew that he had just broke the heart of the _only_ woman on this planet who had ever loved him unconditionally, knowing full well who and _what_ he was, and had given up everything to prove it?

He missed it. The feeling of knowing that he was loved. Completely without reservations or hesitation. It had been too long. A hundred and thirty years too long. He didn't...didn't want to lose that again. Not again. The last time he had been helpless to change things, but not anymore. Not again. He wasn't about to let someone else be stolen from his life. Not. Again.

It was so silent in the apartment. The only noise was the wind coming in from the window in the bathroom. But other than that...nothing. It shouldn't be this way, he thought vehemently. And it wasn't going to stay this way, not if he had any say in the matter.

Millie looked up from the couch as he left the room.

"Are you lea..."

"I'm going to go find her." He had announced.

All that had been three days ago and he was beginning to run out of ideas as to where to look. He had no clues; he was even willing to resort to bribing people. Millie couldn't think of anything helpful, and he was starting to get worried sick. What if someone else found her first? He tried to shake away the awful scenarios that kept popping up in his head.

"You alright?" Someone asked, scaring him half to death.

"Yah! Don't sneak up on me like that!" Vash fussed at the man, buzzing from the adrenaline rush. He quickly shoved the paper back into his pocket.

"Sneak up? I called out to you three times." The affronted man said, crossing his arms.

"You did? Sorry, I...I've got a lot on my mind."

"So I've noticed. That's why I asked if you're alright."

"That bad, huh?"

"Bad's an understatement. Can I help?"

"You know, you're the first person to ask me that in the three days I've been looking." Vash said, smiling up at the man sadly.

"No kidding?" The man asked, looking as if he didn't expect anything less. "Well, no wonder in a place like this. So what can I do?"

"Actually I was waiting for those drivers over there. I need to ask them if they've seen someone."

"Jason Cale, at your service." The man announced, offering his hand for a shake.

"Huh?" He asked standing up and taking the handshake.

"Been shuffling people back and forth for over thirty years now. Now...who ya looking for?"

"A woman with dark hair, dressed in white, in her twenties, about this tall." He said, indicating.

"Hmmm..." The man mumbled, thinking. When he didn't answer, Vash felt the hope that was rising crumble once again. Well, the man was being helpful. Maybe he would ask the other drivers for him? Gotta try and stay positive...

"Gold earrings?"

"What?" He asked, shaken from his thoughts.

"Like this." The man said holding his hand up to his ear and indicated an area of about two inches in length.

"Yes!" He cried out, picking the man up in a hug.

"Guwaa!"

"Where did you see her? Was she ok? Do you know where she was going? How long ago was this? Was she ok? Oh...sorry." He put the man down, who took several moments to catch his breath being around fifty and slightly pudgy.

"Ohhhuugh ow...It was three days ago. Sheesh..." The man rubbed at his sides while Vash just looked a little sheepish. "I remember now because she was asking about some place I haven't heard of, wasn't my route."

"Do you remember where though?" He asked urgently.

"Uhh, let me think...Prominence...Prominent...Prom..."

"Promontory?"

"That's it!" The man said with a snap of his fingers. "Promontory."

Promontory. That was the place where they had to deal with that man trying to take over the geo plant, the rebellious son, and (shudder) the Nebraska family. He felt like kicking himself. He should have realized it sooner.

"Thank you so much. I don't know how I could ever repay you."

"Ahh." The man said, waving the idea aside. "It's nothing. Just doing what I can."

"But still...thank you."

-L&P-

She hesitated in the shadows of the trees. Now that she had gone all the way out here she was just now wondering how these people will react to her. She was showing up out of the blue wanting to talk and they didn't even know each other that well. But on the other hand they did seem like a kindly couple and wouldn't tell her to just buzz off. Besides, even if the most she got was a cup of coffee, it would be nice to see a friendly face again after a week or so out on the road alone. She gathered up her courage and stepped out of the shadows.

"Coming, coming..." A voice from inside called once she had knocked. The door opened to reveal the thin old man.

"Hi, uhh..."

"Well Ms. Meryl! I didn't expect to see you around. Come in. Come in." He greeted cordially, waving her on in. "Dear, we have company!" He called inside. "Are your friends with you too?"

"No sir, it's just me." Meryl said, somewhat taken aback by the unexpected warmth of the welcome.

"Well you're welcomed inside all the same." She followed him inside, leaving her small pack by the door.

"Well goodness! How unexpected. What are you doing here this time of night?" The short grey headed woman asked peering around the doorway from the kitchen, already in her night gown.

"I'm really sorry about the time..."

"And without a coat, nonetheless! You'll catch your death of cold you know, running around like that. Common, let's get you some warm tea." The little lady said, taking her by the hand and firmly leading the baffled woman into the dining room.

After she had been given tea and fussed over some more by the kindly old lady (Pam, she soon learned) they all sit down at the table. Meryl quietly drank at her tea, wondering about how in the world she was going to bring up this conversation. Maybe she should just forget about the whole thing and lie? It would be easier.

"So, what brings a lovely young lady like you out into the middle of nowhere at this time of night?" The old man asked her.

"Well...it's kinda hard to explain, mister..." She trailed off, lacking a name.

"Ben. Just call me Ben dear."

"Ben. As odd as it may seem, actually I came all the way out here to talk to you."

"Me?"

"Yes. I was concerned that I wouldn't find you, considering the whole affair with the land deed the last time that we met. By the way, it worked out for the best I hope?"

"Well yes it did!" Ben said, laughing. "It turns out that our degenerate son wasn't such a bad apple as we thought that he was. He turned the deed in for us, so we're in the clear now."

"That's great news. I was so sure things would end badly. It's good to hear something ending happily for a change." Meryl said wistfully.

"Are you in some kind of trouble dear?" Pam asked her, picking up on her sudden change of mood. Meryl sat down her cup and clasped her hands nervously.

"You could say that. Although I would rather not say what that trouble was. I didn't come here to ask for money or anything. No. I just wanted some advice, you know, like you gave me last time." She finished, looking at her hands, feeling like twelve kinds of fool.

"My dear I would be more than happy to give you advice, but I must admit I'm kind of in the dark about what it is I should be advising about."

"Oh, right..." She said, feeling somewhat deflated. She couldn't tell them the whole story, she realized. And even if she severely edited the story, it would be so shot full of holes that it would only end up confusing the kind couple. She knew that this had been a bad idea; she would just have to figure things out on her own.

"Why did you come here all alone? Where are your friends at?" Pam asked her, sensing that she was about to leave.

"I...I had to leave them behind. Although they'll probably hate me a while for it, it was for their own good."

"For their own good?"

"I didn't want to go! But I was only making things worse. I should have just backed off from the start. Everything just seems to blow up in my face. But I was too selfish and stubborn to let go. And too lonely. But when I realized that I was only getting in the way that's when I knew I had to leave. Though I wish I had done it sooner and under better circumstances. I just couldn't stand being around him anymore..." She rambled out, slowing down once she reached the end, unconsciously rubbing at her shoulder. "I honestly didn't want to burden you two with my problems, but your advice helped me make one of the biggest decisions of my life and was hoping that you could help me out now because...because I'm, I'm so lost..." She broke down, hiding her face in her hands.

The maternal instinct kicked in instantly and Pam was up and hugging her lightly. "There there, dear. It's ok. Why don't you go get some sleep for now and well sort this whole thing out in the morning. Ok?"

"No. I can't stay. It's too dangerous..."

"I assure you dear that no harm will come to you on my watch." Ben said, puffing up.

"I didn't mean for me, I meant you two. I'm not exactly...on the right side of the law anymore." She said in low tones. "I don't want anybody associating you two with me. I shouldn't have come here. I'm sorry."

She tried to leave, but the old couple absolutely would not hear of it. They couldn't, on good conscience, just turn her out into the cold. Especially when she had come to them for help. In fact, they made it explicitly clear that they felt honored by her choosing them and that she could stay as long as she wanted, the law be damned. Meryl was sorely tempted by the offer, having nowhere else to go and having little money left, but she still hesitated for their sake. Sensing her hesitation, they agreed on a lie. Should anybody come looking for her, she was only Pam's great niece in for a visit.

Their compassion for a complete stranger humbled her. They were so worried about her going out into the world alone. Even when she told them that she was armed (with her spare four derringers, she mourned the loss of the rest) their concerns did not ease. She wore down and eventually said yes. She was taken to the spare bedroom and told that she could stay as long as she liked. For a brief fleeting instant, she was suspicious about their hospitality, but just as quickly dismissed it. She had a feeling that she could trust these people. Completely. In the morning she would tell them everything that she could, down to her note and all. They at least deserved the truth after all that they were doing for her, and when they were so eager and willing to help. Their kindness was comforting, but it reminded her of what she had let go.

-L&P-

Of all the bus drivers he could have chosen, shoot, out of all the bus drivers that he has ever had, this one was the..._absolutely_ most annoying. She just would NOT shut up. And what made it worse was that he was the only passenger on board, so there was nothing to take her rambling attention off of him. He was starting to think it was an incurable disease. On and on and on...for hours in her thick drawling voice. Even when he had stopped answering her altogether, it didn't make a difference, she just rambled along like he had. It wouldn't have been so bad if it had been about something that was actually entertaining, but no, it was just air headed fluff and baseless gossip. He bet that Mr. Johnson's conspiracy theories had more substance than this. An ill thomas would sound better than this. Good lord anything but this...

"So I told Billy, I told him, your never gonna get anywhere in life if you don't get your lazy butt out of the sand and do some work for a change. You know? Here I am, driving for hours and hours on end. I don't even get to sleep in the meantime. But you never here me complain. Noooo. That's because _I_ got work ethic. _I_ do what needs to be done. But Billy, Billy, no. You know that that boy is seventeen and he hasn't even had a job yet? Huh? I keep telling Carla that she needs to light a fire under that boys ass because one day he's going to sucker in a girl and _she's_ going to be the one that's going to have to earn the money _and_ raise the child. I tell her, Carla...your not young anymore, you couldn't handle trying to raise another. You never finished with the first! You have kids? Not me. I've never found Mr. Right. That's because he doesn't exist. All men are jerks. No offence mister, but they are. Take Carla's ex-husband for example. Ran off with some hussy when Billy was four. No wonder the punk is turning out the way he is. Now if he were mine I'd..."

"Are we there yet?" He moaned into his hands. She continued on, oblivious. This had been the third, and thankfully the last, bus that he has had to transfer to while heading towards Promontory. And he was seriously considering hopping out and walking the rest of the way there. He was traveling alone. Millie had told him that it would be best if she didn't come along. When he had asked her why she said that it would save on money and that she was needed there. She had also told him that he didn't need to worry, that she would be there when _they_ returned. He suspected that she was up to something, but decided that he could wait until he got back to figure out what it was. And so, with Millie's unshakable vote of confidence he had set off. Although he was beginning to wonder if he would make it there with his sanity intact.

"And so I told him in the most deadly serious voice that I could muster 'Martin...I do _not_ want to hear about that. That is an issue that you seriously need to take up with your doctor'. But some people just don't get the hint that you don't want them to talk to you, you know? And Martin is one of those people sure enough. Especially when he's drunk. He starts telling me in detail about how it would start to itch and run and...And shoot wouldn't you know it...Promontory is just up ahead."

Hallelujah!

"Say, back there...you know you're a pretty good listener. How about we hit the saloon once we arrive and you tell some about yourself, hmn?"

"Ehheheh...No thank you, really... I'm, uh...I'm not a very interesting person...You would just be bored..."

"You sure then? Alright...You know you remind me of someone. I think his name was Jack. Well, this guy Jack would always..."

As they pulled up to the bus stop, it was all Vash could do to not leap out the door and run away. Instead he politely waved goodbye to the driver, turned down the cougar's offer once again, and left as quickly as he could without seeming suspicious.

He walked down the street, keeping an eye out. He wondered if he should head straight towards the little house and the geo plant, or check the hotels in the area first. Before he could make up his mind, his decision was postponed for a moment. A familiar voice called out.

"Fancy seeing you around here again, son."

"Hey old man! Long time no see." He said happily to the lean grey headed man approaching him. "You're actually the person I was wanting to see."

"Me? Whatever for?"

"I was wanting to know if you have seen one of the girls I was with when I was last here. The short one, Meryl."

"Why, is there something wrong?"

"Kinda. Please just tell me. Have you seen her or not?"

"I have, but she's already left."

"Left...Did she say were to?"

"No. I'm sorry, she did not." The old man said ruefully. All the expectations of finding her here fell completely apart. He was right back where he started, if not further behind. He looked down, sighing heavily. Would he ever find her? Maybe she honestly didn't want to be found. Look at all the trouble he's caused her anyway. But still, traveling alone this week and a half and it (with the exception of the last ride) had been so quiet, and lonely. That made him even more determined to try.

"Is there something the matter son?"

"Yeah. I screwed up big time pops. I just want to get her back, but I'm afraid it's too little too late."

"Common, let's walk a while."

"Ahh, I guess. It was a long bus ride, and I need to stretch a while (and clean out my ears)."

They walked on through the city. It wasn't a particularly large city, but it was decent sized. They chatted while they slowly made their way to the limits and out into the desert. It was mostly Ben who talked, telling about their good fortune with how the land deed issue worked out, and how Morgan finally got his for aiding and abetting the Nebraska family and landed a long jail sentence.

"It seems as if you have a whole lot on your mind." Ben said finally, after the silence had stretched on for several minuets. "And you look like you could use a little rest too. You can stay at our place tonight, it's no trouble."

"Thank you but no. I have to keep looking."

"You won't get very far if you wear yourself out."

"I don't get tired that easily, trust me."

"A young man like you, I don't doubt it. But you could at least walk with me back to my home and explain a few things. Ms. Meryl had been staying with us for the past few days. She was wonderful to have around to help with the chores. To tell the truth, she was beginning to spoil us a little. She was always preoccupied with something though, but we never could get it out of her."

"She actually stayed with you? How was she? Upset? Angry? Happy?" He pried, desperate for anything on how she was doing.

"Happy? No, not in the slightest. She would put on a happy face for us, but we old coots can see straight though something like that. One of the gifts of age, my boy. But whew! This hill is beginning to kill me. That's the downside of age."

"How could you tell she was upset?"

"The way she would hardly eat, quietness, the way she would sneak out when she thought we were asleep and go stare at the moon."

"Fifth moon..."

"If you ask me," Ben said stopping at the tree line, firmly looking up at his company. "I'd say that she was lonely. Is that why you're looking for her? To fix that?"

"I'd...I'd like the chance to try, if she would forgive me, that is. But I'm starting to wonder if I will ever find her."

"Then you had better get looking then, huh?"

"Yeah..." He said ruefully, beginning to turn back to the city.

"Oh, and if I were you," Ben said, stopping him. "I'd try over there for starters." He said, pointing to the far end of the property, where the trees were a ways from the house but still clustered thickly. Vash looked at the man with confusion for a moment, then it dawned on him. The old man winked before turning and heading up towards the house.

He walked on through the trees in the direction that was indicated, but he didn't see anything more than the vegetation. He was starting to wonder if the old man was off his rocker when he happened to look up. There she was, nestled in a V of two thick branches, laying back and looking up into the sky. She didn't realize that he was there; the soft grass must have muffled his steps enough. Either that or she was asleep, although he couldn't have imagined a more uncomfortable spot for a nap. Clearly she must have borrowed some clothes because that was defiantly not the outfit that Millie had bought her. A yellowed shirt that was multiple sizes too big. And pants that were rolled up but still too long. Instead of feet, all that hung out below the hem were two rows of little pink toes. It was amusing to him to see the perpetually properly dressed woman in such ill fitting outdated clothes. He watched her for a few minuets, wondering what to say first, and hoping he wouldn't startle her right out of the tree. That would be a good way to start things out...

She wasn't asleep, he soon found out, because she began to whistle a familiar old tune. Now was a good a time as any, he thought, might as well join in...

She immediately stopped and twisted around in the wooden seat. She stared down at him in shock, while he stared up at her grinning.

"How...how did you find me?" She asked, finally finding some words to work with.

"It wasn't easy, but you know me, luck and persistence..." He joked. She still looked completely stunned to see him, but a new emotion was thrown into the mix. Suspicion, maybe? No, that wasn't it. He just hoped it wasn't anger.

"Are you coming down, or do you want me to climb on up too?" No reply. "Ok, then. Scoot over, I'm coming up!" He announced, reaching for a nearby branch. These were high up, he thought, how the heck did she climb up there anyway? Unfortunately, she had taken the spot with the most room. All that left him that was near her was a rather small uncomfortable branch that was straining under his weight.

"Comfy..." He said, praying that the little thing wouldn't break on him.

"What are you doing here?" She asked him finally. To his relief, her tone wasn't one of anger, just honest confusion.

"I came to get you. And to bring you back."

"Millie threatened you, didn't she?"

"What? No..." He laughed.

"Then why?"

"Because..."

_Creeeeek _the little branch threatened.

"Uhh..."

"Get down before that breaks and you hurt yourself." Meryl quietly commanded, preparing to jump down herself. Giving up a silent thanks, he jumped down as she did. She stood up then pressed her hand to her shoulder with a wince.

"Hey, are you aright?"

"Yeah. I just pulled it when I landed. Don't worry about it. Pam's been mothering me to death ever since she found out. It's had enough attention, believe me."

"I bet." He agreed, remembering how fondly the old man spoke of her. Silence fell over the two of them. She didn't look up at him, opting rather to gaze off uncomfortably into the trees. No more joking, he decided. She needed him to be serious with her and honest.

"I didn't come looking for you because Millie asked me too. In fact, she was prepared to accept your decision and go on, it was me who said no. I came looking for you because I wanted to. I wanted you back."

"Why? All I ever do is throw tantrums and get in the way."

"That's not true and we both know it."

"Well that's how it feels." She said, finally looking up at him. "I don't want to feel like a piece of luggage any more. I don't want to cause any more problems. And I don't want you mad at me anymore."

"When was I ever mad at you?"

"When I didn't listen. When I ignored what you told me and took the guns anyway. You were mad at me then, I could hear it in your voice."

"I wasn't mad I was upset."

"What's the difference?"

"I was upset that you were in trouble and I couldn't help. If anything, I was angry at myself for letting you go into such a dangerous situation on my account."

"I would have gone in anyway."

"I know you would have." He said quietly. She looked away again. "In fact that's all you seem to do, get into trouble because of me. I don't blame you for trying to hide it from me, I would have only told you to stop if I had known. As selfish as it may sound, I'm glad you have followed me." This caught her attention. "It makes things a little more bearable, knowing that I'm not alone."

"Then why did you try to leave before?"

"You know why, it was too dangerous."

"Vash, it will never be _not_ dangerous. Sure, you have Knives under control, but there will always be someone else out there that will be after you, so why are you telling me this now?" He looked away uncomfortably. "Oh, I see." She said.

"What?"

She laughed sadly. "It's you. You think that you hurt my feelings, so naturally like the sweet person you are, you want to try and fix things."

"Meryl, it's not like that."

"Is it? I've seen you go way out of your way for people you don't even like. I know you would have tried to help if I had stayed. Even if you didn't really want to."

"Meryl I do to care about you."

"I know you do. And that's part of the problem."

"Huh?"

"You care about everybody. Too much. How can any one person expect to mean anything more in the midst of all that?" She turned away from him back to the tree. Before she did he could see that she was beginning to cry. "Just...go on. Millie's still there and you'll soon have your brother back, so you're not alone. Just leave me be..." She managed to choke out. She was preparing to jump up and grab the branches so she could climb away, but was stopped. He reached out over her shoulder to rest his hand against the tree, blocking her way. He leaned in close to whisper to her.

"I know you think I can be annoying sometimes, and I honestly probably deserve that. And I know you think that I like junk food and drinking too much, and you're probably right about that too. But I can't believe that you would actually think that I would abandon the only woman on this planet that has _ever_ loved me. And I'm not exaggerating to make you feel better either. I never could tell anybody before what I was because they would freak out or try to kill me. But I told you, I still don't know why but I did, and you didn't care. I couldn't let anybody get close because it was too dangerous, but you obviously didn't care about that either and stuck with me anyway. As much as I've tried to push you away, the closer you've got, and now I don't want you to go at all. I got back that feeling that I had thought I would never have again, the feeling of being completely loved... and I lost it all in the same day...Please don't do this." He pleaded, softly embracing her. "Say you'll come back with me." For a moment when she didn't answer, he was afraid that she was going to tell him no and was just hunting for a way to let him down easy.

"As if I could ever tell you no..." She finally sighed.

"Don't tell me this because you think it's what I want to hear." He said, letting go. She turned around to face him. "Tell me yes because you mean it and really want to come back."

"Come back? I never wanted to leave in the first place." She said wiping her eyes on the oversized sleeves and smiling up at him. A smile that he was sure was only for him. He reached down to hug her again.

"Hey! What are you doing?"

"I'm picking you up." He said happily.

"But _why_?"

"You're too short to hug properly. I would just lean over but I had one heck of a bus ride over here and my back is still sore. This is much more comfortable." He said nuzzling up to her. Instead of hitting him or kicking to be let down like he had expected, she threw her arms around his neck and hugged him back.

"Just out of curiosity," He whispered into her hair, "How long have you loved me?"

"Before Augusta. Ever since I lost you." She whispered back.

"Sounds about right..." He said, then kissed her. Surprised, she tensed against him at first, then returned it wholeheartedly, as if to say _finally_. After a long moment they drew apart with a smile. Instead of putting her down, he started to walk away.

"Hey. What are you doing now?"

"I'm carrying you." He said, proud of himself.

"I can walk you know."

"I know."

"Ohhh! Put me down. This is embarrassing!" She fidgeted, trying to get loose.

"I thought you would like the attention."

"I do, but I don't want anybody else to see me like this."

"You're embarrassed about me showing affection?" He pouted.

"No, it's just that this is awkward. Grr...Put me down." She kicked and squirmed harder.

"Alright." He laughed, setting her down. "Better?"

"Yes." She said, blushing furiously. "Instead of toting me around, is this good enough for you?" She asked, taking his hand.

"Yeah, I'm fine with that."

Unbeknownst to the two, elsewhere in the forest an elderly little couple did the exact same thing, remembering days past.

-L&P-

When Meryl had said that Pam was the mothering type, she hadn't been exaggerating. The fuss that the little woman made over them when they returned to the house was...for lack of better words...impressive. She was on a dozen different topics at once: about dinner, how Meryl had done more than her share of chores so: no-she couldn't help with dinner, how she wasn't happy about her climbing around in the trees-she could irritate her shoulder that way, that her eldest boy had broke his arm doing the very same thing, no-their new guest couldn't help out with dinner either, that they were really going to miss her, and she could always come back anytime. Ben, on the other hand, just stood back in silence, the mother hen-ing speaking his side of the story as well. But his parental protectiveness over the young woman was apparent as well. He had taken up post in the hallway that night, helmet on and gun lain over his lap, and had told the newcomer to 'go on back to bed and don't be getting any ideas' when he had wandered out looking for some water.

Thankfully, the bus driver was someone else other than the walking mouth that he had been stuck with yesterday. It was a stoic man in his thirties who looked like he just wanted to be left alone, thank you very much. It was a very sweet, if not somewhat sad farewell. The old couple said their goodbyes, happy to see that everything had worked out but sad to lose their surrogate daughter as well. But they managed to keep a happy face, for her sake. Only when they boarded the bus and gave one last wave goodbye did the old couple let the bittersweet tears flow.

There were five other people on the West bound bus, but they were fortunate to have the back all to themselves.

"Hey. You've been awfully quiet. Is something up?" He asked, slouching down far into the seat.

"Oh, it's nothing. I just don't have much of anything to say at the moment." She answered, startled out of her reverie.

"That's a first."

"Now what's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing. It's just that you always have something to say about everything. So this is kinda new. If I had known the trick to getting you to be quiet I would have kissed you sooner."

"_Excuse_ me?"

"Hey, it was a joke! A joke. Don't...oww." He whined, rubbing his shoulder where she had hit him, even though it hadn't hurt.

"Wise guy..." She muttered to herself, the annoyance obviously a put-on.

"What was that for? I thought you were supposed to be all nice to me now?"

"You know exactly what for. You may be the famous gunman but I think I can take you." She picked.

"You probably could.' He laughed. "You've obviously held your own against some pretty tough customers."

"Now how would you know that?" She asked turning to him, curious now.

"Well, uh...I just assumed. You know..." He fumbled around. Oh look, what pretty scenery...

"Assumptions based on what?"

"Uh, alright. If I tell you, will you promise not to get mad at me?"

"Alright..." She agreed warily.

"Well, uh...When Millie and I were patching you up; I noticed that you had one or two good scars yourself. On your back there. Not that I was looking or anything!" He added quickly before she could get angry. But to his surprise she didn't. He could get used to this.

"It's true that I've been in a few fights. I didn't get the job I did by playing it safe, you know? I've had my share of experience in subduing tough guys...What?" She asked in response to the look that he gave her. "Did you actually think that Bernardelli would send a desk jockey after you? I didn't get the nickname 'Derringer Meryl' for nothing. Although that nickname had come at a cost."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, my father never quite approved of my...wild side, as he called it. He wanted me to stay at a desk like a good little insurance girl and be chief of the agency one day like he was until health problems got to him."

"What, did he disown you or something?"

"Nah, but he might as well have. He would never talk to me much, and when he did he would always throw in some slight about how a _proper_ lady should behave. You know he signed me up to work there when I was sixteen without even asking me first if I wanted to go into that line of work."

"Yikes. He sounds really strict." So that's where she got it, he thought, but knew better to say it out loud.

"You have no idea. After I took the job as disaster investigator we got in touch less and less. And now we don't talk to each other at all. It's been tough on mom, but she has always stayed out of it."

"That's just awful! How could he not be proud of you? After all, I bet that you're the best insurance girl that Bernardelli has."

"Had. I doubt that they would want a felon endorsing them."

"Oh, right. I forgot..."

"Don't worry about it." She said leaning up against him. "Besides, while I was good at what I did, I don't think I was ever really happy there."

"Why didn't you just quit?"

"A job's a job. And after working there so many years my pay was pretty good."

"How long did you work there?"

"Uh-un. I'm not telling."

"Why not?"

"Because you'll do the math and figure out how old I am."

"What's wrong with that? You know how old I am."

"Its two completely different things. It's still kinda hard to wrap my head around the fact that you've lived that long."

"It's not my fault..."

"I'm not saying it like it's a bad thing. It's just a little hard to get used to."

"In a way it is kinda, a bad thing."

"What do you mean?"

"It's that it's kind of depressing, you know?" She stared at him, surprised by this sudden change of mood. "Ahh, forget it. I'd rather not talk about it right now." Respectfully she let the subject drop, although that didn't stop her from pondering the issue. Yes...she could see where it could get depressing. She doubted that she had what it would take to live a life like that. To go on knowing that every single person that you met, every person you saw would whither away and die while you remained utterly untouched by time. To only be able to go on to rest by some act of violence, either by yourself or others. It would be hard, she thought. Then she wondered, was it smart...what she was doing? Letting herself fall for this man. Things may be fine now but what about in ten years? Twenty? Were they just setting themselves up for a painful fall down the road, assuming they stuck by one another? Suddenly the future didn't seem so promising...

"What's wrong?" He asked, noticing the abrupt downturn of her mood.

"I'll tell you later. But for right now, if you want to talk about it, I want to hear about Rem."

"Huh? Why? What about her?"

"Well, she was obviously someone very special to you. And that she had a hand in what kind of person you've become. I just want to know more about her, that's all."

He hesitated at the strange request, but went on anyway. After all, he's already told her more than anybody else before, why stop now? He told her about Rem, everything she had ever told him. He even went on to tell her about the rest of the seeds crew, except for one. After that he came with a few questions of his own. Back and forth they talked, about this and that, and sometimes about nothing at all really. Eventually the bus driver yelled at them to knock it off when they had got too loud laughing over something, so they quieted down. It was still a long ways back to January and there would be more time to talk later, no need to rush things. It was nice for a change, to be able to talk freely and openly.

-L&P-

"To tell the truth, I'm kinda nervous to go in there. Millie won't be too happy with me, I'll bet." Meryl said, hesitating at the door of their dingy little apartment.

"Aw common, it couldn't be that bad." He coaxed, wanting to hurry inside and get something to eat.

"Yes it can be. You haven't seen her when she's really mad...uh well, maybe you have..." She said, remembering when Millie had socked him good.

"There's no time like the present..." He said, and then reached on by her to open the door himself. "Hey Millie, we're back!"

"It's about time needle noggin."

Vash and Meryl screamed simultaneously.

"Ahhh! Wolfwood!" The person in question just laughed. He was lounging back on the couch chewing away on a toothpick, with a black cat curled up on his lap. Pale but very much alive.

"I take it that you've missed me?"

"But how? You..."

"Oh my God!"

"But I saw..."

"What's the..."

"I didn't realize..."

"Your back!" Millie shouted in the kitchen doorway, interrupting the stream of confused responses. She flung aside her oversized 'Kiss the Cook' apron and ran over to give them a huge hug. "I've been worried to death about you two!"

"But..." Meryl stammered out, unable to get over the sight of the should-be ghost in the living room. What was going to happen next? These past few weeks have been anything but uneventful.

"So _That's_ what you've been hiding!" Vash said once Millie allowed him to breathe again.

"Hey!" Wolfwood protested at being referred to as a 'that'.

"Wait a second. Hold everything!" Meryl commanded, throwing her luggage aside. "Now can someone please explain how that man is sitting right there right now?"

"It's not that hard Meryl." Wolfwood began, obviously enjoying himself. "You're a smart woman, you figure it out."

"Apparently your personality hasn't changed." She muttered to herself.

"Yep! I'm still the same all around, lovable, nice guy that you all have come to know. And what more, I...Will you stop it! I'm not a damn ghost, so cut it out!" Wolfwood yelled, swatting away the gunman who was poking him in various places to see if he was real. The cat jumped down, hissed it's displeasure at having its nap disturbed, and slunk out of the room.

"I know you're alive, but still I'm wondering how. Whenever I found you..."

"It was just a mistake that's all." Millie announced happily. She was so overjoyed at having everybody back together again she just couldn't stand still. "But don't go feeling bad! It was a lucky mistake. We never would have been able to provide the same care that the hospital did, and would have lost him after all. So that's that. Everything's alright now."

"But Millie, if you knew he was in the hospital, why didn't you tell us. It was kind of a big thing to keep all to yourself." Meryl said, still standing by the doorway.

"Well I was going to tell you the same day that he woke up, but whenever I got back you had already runaway and..." Millie stopped mid-sentence. A stern look slowly crept over her face as she looked at Meryl. Oh good lord, here it comes, she thought. "Meryl..."

"Uh, yeah Millie?"

"I need to have a word with you. Now." She said, then took her by the hand and pulled her into the bedroom.

"Go easy on her!" Wolfwood called as the door closed. "You don't think she'll eat her or something, do you?"

"Nah, I wouldn't worry about it. However, I must admit that I am really curious about how you survived. Lucky mistake? I'm kinda doubting it. You...had a little help? I assume?" Vash cautiously asked. Wolfwood looked at him for a long moment, humor draining away.

"Yeah...I did...But I really don't want to talk about it. I would rather let that part of my past die away..."

"I understand. You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

"Thanks."

"Really I'm the one who should be thanking you."

"Don't mention it. We'll talk about it later...No, I don't want a hug...No. Back off! I said stop it!"

After Millie had pulled Meryl into the bedroom she closed the door behind her shutting out Wolfwood. She looked on with her arms crossed, while Meryl fidgeted uncomfortably under her gaze. Finally she couldn't take it anymore.

"Millie, I..." But before she could say anymore she was enveloped into a huge hug. "Wha..."

"I've been so worried about you! I'm so glad you're ok! I've got a few things to say to you, but at the moment I can't remember what they were. But I will...trust me. Now tell me," She said, setting her down, the sternness morphing into a more exuberant mood. "What happened? I want to hear all of it! Why did you come back? What did he say? You sounded so sure of yourself in your letter, although sad. What made you change your mind?"

"Millie...I thought you would be mad at me. Not all...bouncy." She said watching as Millie jumped up and down in her sheer excitement.

"I am. A lot actually. Because you would have rather just run away instead of trying to work things out. But I knew that you were hurt and upset and just needed some time alone, so I'm not too mad."

"...Thank you. That means a lot."

"Your welcome!" She said cheerily. "But enough of that, common...tell me..."

"Honestly I'm more curious about what's been going on here. I'm still absolutely stunned by it all..."

"You want to hear about us? Well do we have a story for you! Common, let's all hear it together. And...Oh no! I forgot about the food. It's gonna burn!" She said all in the same breath then rushed out of the room.

Millie had already got Wolfwood up to speed on everything that has happened since he had been left behind (and he defiantly planned on using that fact for good blackmail material in the future), so he was well caught up on everything. The other two, however, were dying to know how he had got out of that place and how he ended up at St. Richards. Millie told them all about finding him in the hospital, what the director and the nurse had told her about him being recovered by the Calvary, and about why she didn't want to tell them sooner. About a week after Vash had left to go hunt after Meryl a problem rose up. One minuet she was happily mopping away then the next Sam had pulled her into the closet, claming his hand over her mouth with a desperate 'Shhh'.

"What do you think your doing?" She asked prying his hand away, unconsciously whispering herself.

"Listen. You know that guy you've been seeing? Well the feds got word that he woke up and have come in to question him. Now, I wasn't meaning to eavesdrop, but I caught them asking him all sorts of questions."

"If they dared to hurt even _one_ hair on his head I'll..." Sam put his hand over her mouth again before she could work herself up into too noisy a rage.

"They didn't touch him, I swear. But they were asking all sorts of questions about a place called Demitrihi, Vash the Stampede, some woman named Meryl Stryfe, and they were asking about another person. A Millie Thompson, and her description matched yours quiet well doll..." Her quiet fear was all the conformation he needed. "Your friend there denied all knowledge of knowing anybody, passed it off as amnesia. The feds think that everybody are liars so they started asking around with some of the nurses and your name came up."

"Oh no...Are they looking for me?"

"Yeah, they are. So that's why I came to find you first."

"Why..." She asked suspiciously.

"Because I want to help you out and your friend too. I don't know anything about what's happened so I can't make a judgment of any kind. What I _do_ know is that you're a good person and I don't want you made into a scapegoat by some corrupt official trying to make a name for himself."

"But why are you helping me? You could get in big trouble you know."

"I know. But I've always wanted to play the hero once doll. Just once. And help a beautiful damsel in distress. And it's all the better if we don't get caught...now I've got a plan..."

Sam had come up with quiet a brilliant plan, if not somewhat revolting. Just before the feds came to their floor, he had managed to gather up some of the most soiled and pungent linens and had hid the pair inside the cart. Whenever he had been stopped while he was carting the trolley away the guard took one look at the filthy pile before shooing Sam on, all the while muttering something about not getting paid. Once out back in the alley he had let them out when all was clear. He had to help Millie lift the weakened man out of the cart. He had even offered to help carry him back to wherever she was going, but she refused. If Sam went missing too long then they would defiantly get suspicious. With a heartfelt farewell, and a kiss on the cheek for her 'hero' (much to the semi-conscious priest's displeasure), they left, taking the back alleys all the way home.

"And that's how it all happened! I guess were in trouble now too." Millie said, pleased with her captive audience. Maybe her storytelling abilities were improving.

"You didn't carry me the whole way. I walked." Wolfwood sulked, unhappy at being made out to be baggage.

"_Some_. You're just now starting to be able to move around properly. And I'm still not too happy about that. You need more rest! And you need to eat more; you've barely touched your food. How do you expect to get all better if you don't take care of yourself better?"

"I am taking care of myself better. I gave up the cigarettes didn't I?" He said, tossing away the splinters and biting down on a new toothpick. It had been his twenty third since they had arrived.

"It's just that I care about you and I want to see you back to your old self again."

"(And I had thought Pam was bad...)" Meryl whispered to Vash, who just snickered in reply.

"What was that?" Wolfwood asked.

"Nothing." Meryl said, sitting up straighter and clearing her throat.

"Uh-huh. And I believe you have a story to tell too Ms. ninja-runaway."

"I, uh...well..."

"Common, tell us!" Millie urged. "Ok then, how about you tell us?" She asked, turning towards Vash. For a moment Meryl thought that he was going to do something embarrassing, such as cuddle her like a stuffed animal and go all mushy on them. But instead his reply was quite restrained.

"If Meryl doesn't want to talk about it I don't think I should say." This was met by a barrage of protests and cries of foul, but he didn't yield. "Sorry, but I'm not going to say anything if it will embarrass her."

"I'm not embarrassed." She quietly protested, assuming that he meant 'embarrassed of him'.

"Then what is it?" He asked. The other two looked on intently, like stalking cats. What was it? Was she afraid of losing her no-nonsense image? No. Was it because she would be teased for it? No. Was it disbelief? Perhaps a yes and a no. She believed that he cared, but couldn't quite accept that he _cared_. It just seemed too abrupt. And then there was ever present void between them called time. While she pondered, her audience grew impatient.

"Well..." Wolfwood ventured.  
"Uhhh..." She fumbled, drawing an absolute blank.

"Common, leave her alone. She's had it rough lately and is probably tired from the long ride over here. I know I am! Aww...and we need to get back to New Oregon soon too...I'd like to take a break for once. Just once..." He trailed off wistfully, hoping that it worked.

"I agree. The sooner we get out of January, the better." Wolfwood agreed, hunting for another toothpick then swearing when there wasn't one to be found. Glad that he heat was taken off of her, but ashamed at the same time as well, Meryl gathered up the dirty dishes and made for the kitchen. From there she heard Wolfwood suggest a few celebratory drinks, then Millie lovingly admonishing him and saying that alcohol isn't good for when you're healing. And exasperated, but good natured 'yes dear' soon followed. Although a good party loomed in the nearby future. She began to wonder if there wasn't something a little more than picking going on between the two. Hmm, curious...she thought. She would have to observe them more closely.

Footsteps behind her caught her attention, but she didn't turn around, she could already tell by the weight of them who it was.

"I'd like to explain. But I don't quite think I have the words to right now. Please don't take it the wrong way. I..."

"Don't worry about it." He said simply, cutting her off. Instead of the hurt betrayed voice she expected, it held understanding with a touch of something else. Humor maybe? Or not, but it certainly held a lightness that would puzzle her some time to come.

Before she could question him about his odd reply, he kissed her lightly on the top of her head then left.


	6. Light Lost

**A/N: **It's just me again. This chapter is the biggest that i've wrote yet, but i hope you all wont mind-its a good one. And i've tryed to ask nicely but thats not working so...(gets down on knees)...please give me some reviews people! Anything! Just let me know you're alive out there! ...Ok...Im done now, enjoy!

**Chapter Six:**

**Light Lost**

They were on the road again once more. But this time it was actually an enjoyable experience. The joy of having everyone together again was infectious. They laughed, talked, and joked the whole time. They even listened to music on the satellite for a while. That is, until the old device abruptly died with a small bang, startling the driver enough to where they almost crashed. The playful banter between Wolfwood and Millie soon evolved into shameless outright flirting. Meryl wanted to roll her eyes while Vash was simply content with smiling at them. Shortly into the trip Wolfwood threw a tantrum when he learned that they wouldn't let him drive. They insisted that he needed to rest, and he insisted that he was perfectly fine. They eventually had to give in to him though. His method of retaliation against being treated like an invalid had been to annoy the hell out of the current driver until they let him behind the wheel just to get him to quit.

The trip was much longer than their first journey to New Oregon. One reason was because January was a fair distance away from their destination. In fact, the more miles they put between themselves and that city, the better they all felt. And another reason was that they didn't always drive through the night. There wasn't the same urgency to hurry that had been there when Knives was in their company, so they took it at an easy pace. Whenever they were in town they stayed at a hotel, but more often than not, they ended up camping out in the desert. These occasions were more comfortable than staying in town because they didn't feel the need to constantly look over their shoulders.

The moons were shining bright overhead, but it was still too early to call it a night. The three reached over and picked one of the three cards that was held out for them.

"Aw, darn it...I was hoping to skip this one..." Vash said, tossing the ace down into the sand.

"Sorry, but you drew the ace...Now answer the question, what's an embarrassing fear that you have?"

"If you must know, I'm kinda creeped out by thomas'es." They stared. "Those things hate me! They never act like that towards anyone else. I'd just as soon stay away from them." His company just shook their heads sadly. "I have a question now. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets, and why?" He said, offering the cards. Meryl drew the ace.

"Sunsets. Because that means it's time to relax and do whatever I want. Ok, my turn. Alright. What's your secret talent?" She asked. They drew; Wolfwood was the one to present the ace.

"My secret talent, huh? Hmm...I'm really good on a piano, does that count?"

"Nifty! I didn't know you could play." Millie said, clapping her hands together.

"Yup. Been doing it for years now. Oookaay...I got one now. Where was the strangest place you have ever woken up at? Pick your card." Wolfwood said, lounging back against a rock, offering up the cards.

"I've got the ace!" Millie cheered, waving it around.

"Darn, I was hoping that he would get that one...Ok then, where was it?"

"Let's see...Oh I know! It was in a thomas trough in my neighbors barn."

"What the...?"

"Huh?"

"I was only six at the time. My big big brother and little big brother decided they wanted to pay a prank on me for eating the last cookie. So when I was asleep they carried me out there and put me in." Millie explained, not in the slightest embarrassed.

"How could you have slept through that?" Vash asked her.

"It takes a force of nature to wake that girl up." Meryl said.

"Yeah, I've always been like that." Millie said happily. "Ok, I've got one... Ok, what's your favorite food? Pick!" She said, holding out the cards to the others. They drew, and Wolfwood was the one to hold up the ace.

"You won it again!

"That was the best question you could come up with?"

"Yup!"

"Ok. Uhhh...pizza. Alright. What's the most embarrassing thing you've ever done?"

"Aw, darn..." Meryl said, tossing down the card.

"Oh oh, I know this one!" Millie laughed. "It's about what happened at that office party, isn't it?"

"Shush!" She said, trying to cover Millie's mouth, but the damage had been done.

"What happened?"

"She had too much to drink and mfffth muwaa..." Millie began, unable to get the rest out because of her friend's frantic efforts to shut her up.

"I've defiantly got to hear this." Wolfwood said, sitting up straighter.

"I didn't think you drank." Vash asked her.

"And there's a good reason for that. Millie, don't you dare tell them. And as for the game...I fold." Meryl said, finally letting go of her.

"Wait, this isn't poker, you can't just quit!" Wolfwood protested.

"Yes I can."

"That's cheating!"

"No it's not."

"You know Millie's just going to tell me later anyway."

"She had better not."

"Please don't make me have to choose between you two..."

"Common guys, it's just a game."

"There's got to be some penalty for not telling."

"We're not even keeping points or anything. What could you do, honestly?"

"Hmm..."

"I know, let's tickle her." Millie said grinning maliciously, wiggling her fingers threateningly.

"No. NO. Don't you dare..." Meryl warned, standing.

"Last chance to tell..."

"I'm _Not_..." The tall girl lunged, but missed by mere inches. "Millie...I'm warning you, you better stop It!" She said, the last word rising into a yell as she was forced to dodge again. The two circled each other, laughing while the guys egged them on. Meryl was fairly confident in her ability to avoid Millie's ticking clutches. That girl _knew_ that she hated being tickled that's why she suggested it, the rotten little...

"Hey! What the..." She cried in surprise as a pair of arms wrapped around her, holding her still.

"I've got her! Get her Millie!" Vash cried, holding the squirming woman still.

"You traitor! Oh I hate you! I hate both of you! No! Ahhhhhhaahaaa!" Wolfwood cheered, clearly enjoying the show. Millie giggled evilly, dodging being kicked. She considered this a thorough and suitable payback for being left behind like she had. And this was only part one of her 'revenge for leaving me' operation! Muuwaahahahaa….

"Stop it! Ow, OW! Really stop it!" Meryl yelled, no longer laughing. Vash released her instantly, startled by the sudden change of her tone.

"Meryl, what's wrong?" Millie asked, surprised as well.

"I'm fine." She muttered, walking away from them a few paces. She reached up and began rubbing at her shoulder.

"I hurt you didn't I? I held on too tight." He said regretfully. How could he have forgotten?

"No it wasn't you. I just twisted it too much trying to get free." She partially lied.

"I forgot about it too Meryl. I'm sorry for tickling you." Millie said, feeling guilty now for picking on her. She came up and gave her an easy hug. Thankfully it was one that was returned.

"How's it doing now? I haven't checked up on it for a while. Let me see." He said, worried that he might have re-injured it, and hoping to be forgiven just as easily.

"It's fine, really." She said, and then sighed, giving in to the pleading look. "Alright...But over by the car." She said with a sidelong glance at Wolfwood. Who in turn raised his eyebrow, huffed, then turned his attention to the girl that just sat down beside of him.

"Why over here?" Vash asked her once they were standing on the other side of the car.

"Because I wouldn't put it past him to try to take a look."

"Common, he's not that bad."

"Remember back in May when Millie had one too many?"

"...Ok. I see your point." He conceded after a moments thought. She smirked at the abrupt way in which he agreed. "Ok, now your shoulder..."

"Oh, right." She said, pulled back to the task at hand. She undid the first two buttons of her shirt and slipped the fabric down over her shoulder enough to expose the old injury. He crouched down to take a better look.

"Hmm. It's doing really good. It's been a month since you were shot and it's already just a scar now."

"I told you so."

"Ok, turn around and let me see where it exited." He quietly observed it for a moment. The skin was completely knitted together now. It was still an angry red color, but whole. "You're a fairly fast healer. Have you had any other problems with it? Pain when you stretch, lift your arm, anything?"

"I used to, but for the most part it's as good as new. Maybe a little stiffer, but I'll work that out once I can stretch it all the way again." She said, pulling her shirt back up and redoing the buttons before turning around.

"I'm really sorry. I had forgotten all about it. Which is an awful thing to say too, isn't it? I didn't mean to hurt you." He said, hugging her lightly.

"I know you didn't. It's ok." She said returning it, ignoring the juvenile snickers from their audience back at the campsite. An abrupt shout broke the moment.

"AH! Scorpions!"

"Good lord I HATE those things! You guys must have kicked up a whole nest of them while you were roughhousing around!"

"Those things give me the creeps."

"One's coming over here! Kill it!"

"No, don't kill it."

"I am _not_ sleeping out here tonight."

"Amen to that! Let's get out of here."

"I'm driving."

"Shotgun!"

"I wanna drive..."

"Just shut up and get in! They're coming this way!"

-L&P-

"Well here we are!" Vash announced as they pulled up to the crashed ship. "It was one heck of a detour but we finally made it!"

"Hold on a second..." Millie said, peering out the window. "Something is different about this place."

"You're right. All those tents and stuff we saw last time are gone." Meryl said, doing the same.

"Uhh."

"There were people around here, you say? Well it certainly looks suspicious to me. There's not a soul in sight." Wolfwood said, stepping out of the car and taking a good look around. The only thing to be seen other than the ship was the graveyard. "I don't like this."

"Me neither. They were supposed to be dismantling the ship. Where has everyone gone?" Vash said looking around as well. The sickening feeling of fear slowly began to eat at him. Could Knives have gotten out? Oh no. "You guys stay here! I'm going to go check it out." His tone left no room for dispute. They watched in silence as he approached the steel mountain alone.

No blood...no debris...what happened here, he wondered as he approached the doorway. It was like everyone had vanished. The thought brought back a horrible feeling of déjà vu. The entrance way had been firmly sealed shut. He switched on the panel by the door. It was activated but unresponsive to his commands. Locked from the inside. The little security camera by the panel was fixed upon him. He wished he could see through to whoever was watching him from the other end. A key abruptly lit up on the panel. Both guns were aimed at the door just as it begin to open.

The Doc stepped out wearing that same small smile he always did, seemingly unfazed by the two weapons trained at him.

"I was beginning to wonder when you would get back."

"Doc, you scared the life out of me! What's going on here? Where is everybody? Is everything alright?" He breathed out, lowering the guns. The little man just chuckled.

"Everything is perfectly alright, I assure you. I doubt that the general public would understand what we are going to be doing here, so I thought it would be best that everyone outside my staff stay away."

"How did you manage that?"

"Oh, I just told them we had a malfunctioning plant that we were trying to fix. That's all." He said slyly. Vash laughed away at this.

"Well, you can't say that you lied. Oh, hold on just a second. Its clear guys! You all can come on!" He called out to the waiting three, waving them over. He turned back to the little old man.

"I see that you have retrieved them."

"Yeah. But you wouldn't believe what we had to go through to get them. I was beginning to think that we would never get back here."

"Well I see that we have another guest." The Doc noted as the girls and Wolfwood approached. "It's a pleasure to see you again Mr. Priest."

"You too. I just hope that things go better than they did last time around." The old man chuckled.

"As do I. Now, I believe we have had enough setbacks. Let us all come in and we can get started."

They entered the ship once more. The three outsiders taking in the scenery with the same awe that they had on their first visit to the place. The Doc filled them in on the changes that had been going on while they were away. The entire ship had been all but shut down. Only two levels were left open: The level containing the plants and tech wing, and one domestic area. There were enough abandoned living quarters to house all the staff plus the newcomers with rooms to spare. Every other area had been sealed off and only those with the appropriate access code could enter. Because all the supplies had been stripped from the ship, one large room had been outfitted as sort of a mess hall where rations would be issued out periodically. They had enough to last them for five months, but hopefully there would be no need to stay in this ghost ship for that long.

"And I thought that this place was spooky before..." Wolfwood muttered as they entered the tech area. "It's so quiet here."

"It is a sad change from the home it once was." The Doc said, leading the way through the dim halls. "Except for myself and twenty of my most trusted companions, we are the only ones left. It was an inevitable tragedy however. As you said Mr. Priest, we were meant to one day live on this planet. It was fate."

"Fate huh? Anyway, it's Wolfwood. Nicholas D. Wolfwood."

"Well Nicholas, I assume that you have been informed of what we are planning here?"

"Yes. Although I'm not sure that I entirely approve." He said with a sidelong glance at Vash.

"I am afraid that our options are limited. And this plan has been forty years in the making. It would be pointless to not try when we are so close." The Doc said, opening the door to the lab. "Now, I do believe it is time to measure the output of those two plants and see if they will produce an adequate amount of energy for us to go through with this."

"Here you go Doc." Vash said, handing the guns over. "It'll be, what, about an hour for the test to run?"

"If that. Now in the meantime why don't you and your friends go get something to eat and get settled? You've had a long trip, and later I want to hear all the details about what took you all so long to come back. I'm betting it is quiet the interesting story."

"You got that right!" Vash agreed. He turned to his company. "You guys go on ahead and find something to eat. I'm going to go check on Knives first. I'll be right there."

After several wrong turns and some arguing about where in the hell they were, the three finally made to their destination. The mess hall was abandoned, so they just helped themselves to the stockpile. Asides from a few meal bars, all the rations consisted of were dehydrated freeze dried food packets. They were all unlabeled so it became sort of a game of food roulette to see if what they had chosen was edible. To their dismay, all three packets were identical. They each began to silently pray that they wouldn't have to stay the full five months.

"Hey guys. What's wrong? Why aren't you eating" Vash said strolling on in, sitting down.

"I would eat, but this isn't food." Wolfwood said, looking disdainfully at the compressed contents of his package.

"Oh quit whining. It's just a little funny looking." He said, taking it and began to eat on it himself.

"How's Knives?" Meryl asked, not touching her food either.

"He's just fine. To tell the truth, I was worried that someone would try to sabotage the chamber while we were gone."

"That's awful." Millie said.

"Hmm." Wolfwood said cryptically.

"Yeah. The crew here knows all about what he's done. But I guess the Doc really knows his people. Everything's just fine. Of course were going to have to let him out of there a while before we can go though with the procedure."

"Let him out?"

"But I thought you said that it was too dangerous."

"Too dangerous for him to be _conscious_. In coldsleep you heal at an extremely slow pace. He needs to get his strength back or else he might not survive the procedure."

"So you're going to put everybody here at risk just for his sake, is that it?" Wolfwood asked, pulling out a toothpick and biting down hard. "Hell, as if it wasn't a big enough risk already just keeping him alive. We've already nearly lost one so far because of him." He said jerking a thumb at Meryl.

"Wolfwood..."

"But hey, maybe it's just me. But what about this? Did you ever think about what was going to happen next? Suppose this little science experiment works. What then? Do you think he'll just roll over and be a good boy?" Wolfwood asked, his tone growing harsher by the second.

"You don't understand..."

"I do understand Vash. You think everybody can change. Hell, you even got to me, but Knives? No. He's probably gonna spend the rest of his life locked up and your going to be right there with him agonizing over the fact that he would rather die than give up his genocidal point of view."

"Please stop it." Millie asked him softly. "Everybody deserves a second chance, even him. Besides, we can't just kill him. Not in cold blood. I know that Mr. Knives has done some very terrible things and probably doesn't deserve any mercy. But isn't that what mercy is for? The innocent have no need for mercy. By its very nature it is for those that deserve it the least. And we have to let him know that. That we are not the awful murderous things that he thinks we are. So please...no more." No one said a word. Wolfwood uncomfortably looked away while the rest gazed downward, each lost in their own thoughts about the moment. The individual that broke the uncomfortable silence was none other than the Doc.

He appeared in the doorway and simply told them, "We have a problem."

The monitor was filled with data and readouts that were completely unintelligible to all but two in the party. Wolfwood and the girls hung back while Vash and the Doc closely observed the computer.

"I had originally thought that the test would be simple and straightforward, but it turns out no so. When I hooked them up to measure their output they remained completely unresponsive, almost as if they were dead."  
"What? Did you try both of them? I may have damaged one in the fight."

"I did, but it was no use." The Doc said picking up the silver revolver; its covering removed exposing the tiny plant within. "I have several theories on this. One is that the technology that Knives used is too radically different from our systems here and too biologically based to use."  
"There's a good chance of that considering how it works. He never would let me see what he was doing in there…"

"Another is that they were pushed past their exhaustion point in the dual. And lastly, perhaps they had less inherent power than we had originally thought. Some, yes, but mostly for the transition that enables the both of you to release energy." Vash remained quiet, pondering.

"Is there anyway to narrow down these possibilities? Meryl asked the little man. "Could it be a combination of the three?" She asked, trying not to feel disheartened by the thought that all that they had gone through might have been for nothing.

"I can narrow down one of the possibilities for us." Vash said, surprising them. It had the potential to be a very dangerous test, but he was sure he could control it and keep things from getting out of hand. He had to try. "Let me see it." The Doc hesitantly handed over the gun, knowing exactly what he had in mind. The gun was barely in his hand before the plant began to react. He could feel it pulling at him, threatening to leach the very life out of him. The poor twisted thing. It didn't ask to be made into some mutated vampiric weapon. He prayed that the malformity was enough to where it wasn't sentient. Yet another crime Knives has committed against something living. He quickly put it down before the pull became too much to fight against.

"T-they're still alive. And fully functioning." He said rubbing his hand, trying to wipe away the merging sensation that memories were stirring up.

"So that's what it looks like." Wolfwood said, fascinated by the whole incident.

"No. Not by a long shot. Other than destruction, these things have no purpose. We won't be able to use them." Vash said.

"Well now, isn't that just dandy. You guys bend over backwards to fetch those things and now your saying that they're useless? That's just great…" Wolfwood ranted.

"We never had any guarantee that they would work." Meryl jumped in before he could get too worked up. "We all knew it was a long shot but we had to try. It was supposed to be the quick and easy option." She said dryly.

"If you call that easy I'd like to hear your definition of hard."

"Now, now." The Doc intervened. "This option hasn't been entirely exhausted yet. Perhaps with a little more study we could develop a way to draw out their inherent power."

"But what if it doesn't work?" Millie asked. "Couldn't we just move to a place where there are more plants?"

"I have considered that option my dear, and it may be one that we will be forced to choose."

"It would never work." Vash said distantly. "There would be nowhere we could go and not raise too many questions. Not to mention that it would be nearly impossible to transfer all the equipment that we would need. It's better just to stay here."

"And do what?" Wolfwood demanded. "You heard the short guy. He can't get those doohickey thingies to work and without more power we can't get things running."

"We'll just have to use another plant, that's all."

"There's a lot of weird technology and stuff here but I doubt that we have any spare plants just lying around."

"Sure we do!" Vash said brightly. Puzzling at the odd reply, Wolfwood stared at him in disbelief. That is until Vash pointed at himself.

"You're not serious…"

"Why not?" The question was met with silence. Everyone had their own thoughts but fell short of words. The proposal was just so…strange. "Seriously, why not? It's not like we have any other choice. What do you think Doc?"

"…It…could work. We would need a little time to set things up. We could use the spare equipment from number one…"

"But would it be safe?" Meryl asked, not in the least bit happy with where this was heading. "Do you even know what something like that would do to you?"

"I expect that it would be just like the angel arms, except less violent. There shouldn't be any need to worry. All the other plants are just fine. It was what I was made to do after all." He said, deliberately choosing the word 'made' rather than 'born'. Meryl frowned her displeasure but she didn't know how to argue with him about the issue. All she knew was that she didn't like it. The troubled expressions of Wolfwood's and Millie's faces mirrored her concern.

"Aw common guys, don't look at me like that!" He laughed, trying to lighten the mood. "There's no need to get so worked up over it! We know what we're doing. Besides, I'm sure that Knives has done it plenty of times so I know I can handle it too." The uncomfortable silence stretched on until the Doc mercifully interrupted.

"I don't want you three to get the impression that I am trying to run you off, but since the plans have changed we have a lot of technical matters to go over that I'm afraid that you would find rather dull."

"I hear ya…" Wolfwood said, picking up on the hint. Wordlessly he herded the pensive and reluctant group out of the room. Meryl gave one last look back before being ushered out.

The two remaining sat in silence for a few moments longer. "You don't have to do this you know. Given enough time I'm positive that we could find another way."

"I'm sure we could. But this is the quickest way. Times a luxury that not everyone can afford." He said, the multiple meanings hung between them. "Besides, I want this over with now. It's time."

"I understand…You should really try to say something to your friends later. They appeared rather worried."

"They're not the only ones." He halfheartedly tried to joke. Just worried, or something else? The Doc obliged him with a smile, although he was uneasy about the matter himself. After a few minuets of quiet reflection they got down to technical matters. Between the two of them it wasn't too long before they had their plan.

-L&P-

He walked quietly down the dim halls alone. He knew that he should go and check up on the others, but he couldn't stand the thought of company. Not right now. Maybe it was his sensitivity towards the issue, but the way they had looked at him was upsetting. It made him feel lonely. He didn't like to think about being different, and for the most part avoided it very well. But on the rare occasions like this the glairing reminder was too much for even him to ignore. Knives had told him that he wasn't human like he was stupid enough to forget the fact. But why did it have to make a difference? They all laughed, cried, breathed, and bled. Different but really the same. Maybe it was just something that he couldn't, and didn't want to see. He stopped in front of the doors with a giant 'three' painted across them, pressed the appropriate key on the panel, and went in. The light from the plant was soft and the room silent. He walked up to it but let it sleep. He had hid it from the Doc and the others but he was afraid. The option of using himself as a power source to run this operation had been on his mind since the beginning, but he wanted to explore every other road first. And look what his cowardice about the matter resulted in. He made a mental note to apologize to her later. He had volunteered this time out of desperation and partly out of repentance. But still…he was afraid. The thought of being restrained, encased, and completely helpless to stop the life from being siphoned away from him was a disturbing one. Instead of pulling everything out at once in one massive blast, it would be slow. Like water leaking from a crack in a bucket, drip by tortuously slow drip. No wonder they slept, he thought running a hand over the glass. If only they could answer him back, he thought sadly. He would ask them 'does it hurt?'. Will it hurt? Troubled, he turned away from number three.

He left the chamber, heading on to visit number four before going to reassure his company about something he felt anything but sure about. Walking slowly down the hall he was shaken from his gloomy thoughts by a frustrated growl from around the corner.

"How…damn thing…open…"

"Meryl?"

"Yaa!" She screamed, then instantly switched over to angry. "Don't sneak up on me like that! This place is creepy enough with out you popping around corners like that."

"I didn't mean it. What were you doing? Were you looking for me?" He asked walking up. She had been fumbling with the control panel for the doors to number four. The lettering on the keys had wore off decades ago so it was no wonder she had no idea how to get it open.

"No, uh…actually I…" She fidgeted avoiding making eye contact, like a child caught stealing candy.

"If you weren't looking for me what were you doing? And where's Wolfwood and Millie?"

"Oh, they left for town about an hour ago to go eat. They figured that you would be busy a while."

"They just left you behind?"

"I'm still uncomfortable about wandering around in public. Things are still a little too hot for that."

"Yeah." He conceded. "Soo…"

"Alright, alright. I was trying to get in because I wanted to go see the plant again." She fessed up, slightly annoyed about being caught.

"How come?"

"I…don't really know. I just wanted to."

"Alone or do you mind me coming with you?" He asked, keying the panel, causing the doors to open. She stared at the panel in a silent angry 'how did you do that' way. He tried not to smirk at her.

"Why would I mind? If anything I should be asking you if you minded me going in."

"Why do you say that?" He asked, interpreting the question several different ways.

"Because I'm a guest here. That and I don't have any business snooping around…"

"Oh its fine. As long as you don't go crazy with any of the consoles, your welcome anywhere here. Common." He said leading her inside. They walked up to the plant. Meryl went right up to the glass while Vash sat down on the floor and leaned up against the railings.

"It's so warm in here. It's the only warm room in this place. This entire ship is like an ice box. I'm gonna have to find some pants or something…hey, what's wrong?" She asked coming over to sit by him.

"A lot of things." He said, hugging his knees to his chest.

"Please tell me. I'll help out anyway I can."

"I know you would. I didn't want anyone else to know but doing this has me worried." He said with a wave of the hand, indicating the plant before them.

"…I knew you were."  
"Hmn?"

"Worried. I could tell by the way you talked about it. Trying to make it seem like it was no big deal."

"Am I that obvious?"

"No. I just know you. So, what about it is bothering you? Maybe talking about it will make you feel better." He sighed, staring at the plant looming before them.

"I suppose it's just the fear of the unknown. When they…hook me up…I don't know what's going to happen."

"You said that it would probably be like using the angel arms, right?"

"That's what I'm afraid of." Her expression was one of sympathy and confusion. He continued. "Imagine thousands of little hooks latching onto your soul then ripping everything out all at once. That's sort of how the angel arms feel like."

"Oh my God…"

"Yeah. It was so traumatizing no wonder it caused memory loss." He said tapping the side of his head. "I think I finally got the hang of it though so it's not so bad, but still I'd rather not fire that thing again for as long as I live. I'm worried now that being put in one of those would feel the same."

"…There's no way to dissuade you from doing this is there?" Meryl sadly asked.

"No…It has to be done. There's no way around it." After this they fell into a heavy silence. He began to regret telling her what he had. All it had done was make her upset and worried even more. He glanced down at her. She was staring at the base of the plant, her enthusiasm for being in here obviously dampened.

"Was that all that was bothering you or is there something else?" She surprised him by asking abruptly.

"Well yes, actually there is, but I'm not sure I want to go into it."

"Why?"

"Well because…" He struggled to find the words. "It's just that…erragh, another reason I don't want to do this is because I don't want you all to, you know, think of me any differently than you do now."

"Why would we…"

"Because I _am_ different. I don't like to talk about it, much less go flaunting it. I don't want this. Any of this. I don't want to be reminded and I don't want you all reminded of it either. Ahh, I have no idea what I'm trying to say."

"I think I do. You're afraid that if you act too differently that we'll see you as less of a person and more like some alien thing to be frightened of." No reply. "They would never think that of you. _I_ would never think that. It doesn't matter to us, honestly…" She trailed off, fighting for the right words he need to hear. "Look at me." She said taking his face and forcing him to look her in the eye. "It doesn't matter _what_ you are but _who_ you are. Isn't that what you're going to tell Knives? How do you expect to be able to convince him if you're having doubts yourself? I know it's what you believe, you're just letting worry get in the way of that."

"…You're right…" He said softly, pulling her in close for a hug. "I was just afraid of frightening you all away. I need to make him see that it doesn't matter, it never did."

"You do what you have to do to save your brother no matter what anybody else thinks. I can't speak for the others but as for myself I promise I won't think any differently or less of you. I don't think I could even if I tried."

"Thank you. For everything."

"Anytime."

-L&P-

He slowly drifted back into conciseness. That is, if you could actually call it conciseness. Everything was hazy. Hazy and numb. Instead of opening his eyes, he was content to simply lay there, having no need nor desire to open them. Finally, after what felt like an eternity of hanging in that senseless purgatory, alertness slowly crept back. Through the drug induced fog he began to become aware of someone else's presence nearby. With a supreme effort, he opened his eyes to see a cold steel ceiling staring down at him. He looked to the left where he sensed the presence.

"Hey there. I was wondering when you were going to wake up. I've been waiting for about two hours now." An easy, slightly hushed voice said. The person just wouldn't come into focus, but Knives knew who it was by the sound of his voice.

"Vash…where…?" Knives muttered out.

"Ahh, don't worry about it. You're safe, trust me." Vash said, scooting his chair closer to the bed.

"Why can't I move…and why…don't I care?" Knives asked struggling halfheartedly to sit up. He wasn't even certain that he managed to move at all. He closed his eyes once more. It was just too much effort to keep them open any longer. His brother laughed quietly at him before answering.

"Well in addition to having you strapped down, we've got you pretty drugged up. Honestly, with as much as we have given you I'm surprised that you could tell me from a thomas."

"Drugged? What…? No." Knives weakly pulled at the restraints, actually moving an arm this time. "What are you doing to me? Let me go." He said stronger, fighting to focus through his slurred thoughts.

"I doubt that you would believe me if I told you that it was for your own good but it is. I just hope that one day you'll see that."

"Let me go." Knives demanded, pulling harder. He just couldn't comprehend why he was still alive. Unless…

"I'm not going to kill you. Neither is anyone else here." Vash reassured him, picking up on the broken snippets of thought. "But on the other hand, no one here wants to die either. As much as I hate to do this to you Knives, you've left me no choice. You never have…" He trailed off sadly.

"What are you going to do to me? Let me go!" Knives'es rising fear giving strength to his voice, but that was as far as it went. For all his struggling he was barely shifting his restraints. His helplessness only fueled the fear.

"Please calm down Knives. I just want to talk with you for now."

"It's about revenge isn't it? Torture? Don't leave me to those monsters. What are you going to do to me? What! What…are you going…" Knives trailed off, losing the strength to fight. The small pin prick in his shoulder smarted some but soon faded away as the potent effects of the drug made everything distant and surreal.

"I'm sorry." He faintly heard. "And it's not like that. I would never put you through anything that I wouldn't trust enough to do myself. Despite what you may think, I really do…" But the rest was lost. The drugs had done their work all to well.

Vash watched as Knives slipped back into unconsciousness, where he would remain for a few weeks longer until it was time. Well that could have gone better, he thought bitterly. He had finally worked up enough nerve to let him wake up enough to talk to and he ended up having to sedate him not even five minuets afterwards. He had been hoping to try to get through to him some, but all he had managed to do was scare him. Well it was understandable, he supposed. His genocidal crusade had made him some bitter enemies. Had their roles been reversed he would be frightened too. But still, how could Knives think like that of him? He sat by the bed for a while longer, watching him sleep, then got up to leave. The guards at the door nodded to him as he passed by.

The time it was taking Knives to heal was perfectly corresponding with the time it would take to manufacture a modified casing from the ruins of number one. They would both be ready at nearly the same time. Asides from his work on that with the Doc and the rest of the crew, he spent all his free time with his friends, who, unfortunately, were already developing cabin fever. And it had only been two weeks. Unlike him, they were unaccustomed to ship life and were adjusting slowly. With nothing but artificial light their sleep habits were becoming skewed. Millie kept getting up earlier and earlier while conversely Wolfwood and Meryl kept sleeping later throughout the day. Instead of the mess hall, they had all taken to eating all their meals out on a balcony.

Wolfwood and Millie would make a break for town as often as they could. And they would always return with various treats for everyone, sometimes even the crew. Whenever it was safe to do so, Meryl would sit by and watch while things were being set up at number one. Other times, when he was indisposed, she would take to wandering around and exploring the ship. That was lessened as of late after she had become lost twice. The second time this happened it had taken nearly a whole day to find her again (something Wolfwood wasn't about to let her live down anytime soon).

Occasionally the four of them would drive far out into the desert and shoot bottles and cans until the sun set or they ran out of ammo, whichever came first. Both Wolfwood and Meryl mourned the loss of their weapons but managed to find an acceptable substitute for now. Away from the gloom of the ship they all had a great time. Wolfwood in particular seemed to have the highest spirits. His strength was increasing by the day until it almost seemed as if he had never been injured. The changes in his behavior made it almost seem as if he were a new person.

Because Vash hadn't known how long he was going to spend with Knives, he had told the others to go ahead and eat without him. So he was slightly surprised when he stepped outside on the steel platform to see a solitary figure leaning against the edge and staring out over the desert.

"Hey. What are you doing here so late?" He asked Wolfwood. The priest didn't turn around at first but then waved him on over. "Where are Millie and Meryl at?"

"They're off doing whatever girls do when guys aren't around. I've been sitting out here since dinner."

"What's up?"

"Just thinking that's all. So, how'd it go?" Vash sighed and leaned against the railing.

"Not so good"

"What did you expect?"

"He thinks we're going to do something awful to him. For revenge or something. He was terrified."

"Well he would be right."

"What?"

"In his opinion, stripping his power away would be the worst thing you could do to him. He's going to be supremely pissed."

"I already feel bad enough about it. You're not helping out any." Vash said, giving him a sour look.

"Just telling the truth." Wolfwood shrugged then turned back to the scenery. "Do you have any sort of plan of what to do with him afterwards?"

"I'm just going to talk to him I suppose."

"What makes you think that he'll listen to anything you have to say?"

"Considering that he'll be locked up, he won't have much of a choice but to hear me out."

"I still think you're wasting your time. You can talk until you're blue in the face but Knives won't yield. He's too set in his ideology."

"What else am I supposed to do Wolfwood?" Vash turned to ask him, becoming irritated by his negativity. "Lock him in some cell forever? Shoot him? I'll just be proving him right if I did. Somehow I've got to convince him that he's wrong I have no choice."

"Ok, Ok. I'm sorry. It's just that I think you're in deep with this one. I feel for you man."

"Tell me about it. But I'll deal with it when the time comes. For right now I'd rather think about something else." Vash said softly. He knew he was in for a challenge. But things have seemed impossible before, hadn't they? And yet here he was. Things would be alright, he just had to keep trying. Wolfwood clapped him on the back.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get you down like that."

"Don't worry about it. I'm fine." He said, flashing a grin and giving a thumbs up to prove it. Wolfwood chuckled.

"Good." He simply said. He fished around in his pocket for a toothpick. He observed it for a moment before asking in a detached and offhanded way, "Soo...What's up with you and Ms. Short girl?"

"What do you mean?"

"Don't play dumb with me. Millie's told me everything. And I've always figured that she had a thing for you." He said, biting down on the wooden sliver. "I never would have pegged her for one of those crazy 'do anything for love' types."

"You say that like it's a bad thing. Yeah, she is, but she's so shy about it too. I think it's absolutely adorable." Vash said, hugging himself for emphasis. Wolfwood just stared at him.

"Have I ever told you that you are one strange man?" Wolfwood asked him, who in response just laughed. "Soo...you gonna tell me?"

"Well, uh..."

"Don't tell me that you're embarrassed to talk about it." He asked incredulously.

"No. It's just that it's a private matter. That's all." Vash said loftily.

"You strip down butt naked and act like a dog in front of everyone but you're too bashful to talk about a girl?"

"For one thing, I didn't have a choice about the whole dog incident. And for another..."Vash said, then grabbed him in a headlock. "She's not _just_ a girl...so leave it...alone." He punctuated this with a series of noggies. With an irritated squall, Wolfwood broke free of Vash'es grip. He retaliated with his own headlock in addition to twisting his arm up behind his back.

"I give! I give! I giiiiive!"

"I am _not_ going to leave it alone. I asked you a question and I expect an answer." Vash flipped Wolfwood over his shoulders and onto the steely deck.

"It's nothing too serious yet. We're still getting used to each other. I'm not entirely sure she's convinced that I'm serious about this but I'll prove it to her yet. I don't want to force the issue though, so I'm taking my time. And what about you?" He asked rubbing his shoulder, watching as Wolfwood got to his feet. "You and Millie are pretty close, what's going on there?"

"That's an easy one." Wolfwood said looking for an opening. They began to circle one another. "I can't speak for her, but as for myself-I'm in love."

"Wow. Really?"

"Yup. For the first time in my life I'm honest to God in love."

"You sound so sure of it. You haven't even known each other that long."

"What difference does that make? And besides..." He said stopping, no longer in the mood for roughhousing. "Life's too short to sit around and let chance pass you by. I've never met anyone like her before. I just can't get her out of my head. Honestly, I would go right now and ask her to marry me if I had a ring to give her." He said, leaning once more against the safety railing.

"You're serious aren't you?" Vash said, coming up beside him. "We can go get one, I'm sure she'll say yes."

"I know she would and that's the problem."

"Huh?"

"It just doesn't feel right. Sure I've started over, but I can still see the blood on my hands. It doesn't feel right to hold her while I'm so stained."

"You know, you can't move forward if you remain focused on the past."

"Hff, you're one to talk." Wolfwood scoffed. He then saw the look on his friends face. "I'm sorry man. I shouldn't have said that."

"Don't be. You have a point."

"Maybe, but it was still uncalled for. Sorry."

"It's alright...So. What are you going to do?"

"I don't really know, I don't have the heart to pull a Meryl, and she wouldn't understand if I lied and told her it wasn't working out between us...I'm at a loss."

"Why don't you just talk to her about it? Millie's too kindhearted and forgiving to reject you because of your past."

"I don't want her to know. I'm not happy with you knowing what you do. I just can't stand the thought of her knowing what I was."

"But your different now. And I'm sure if you told her she would forgive you and love you just the same."

"It would honestly be more than I deserve..."

"I see now. The issue here is not her but you. You can't forgive yourself."

"...No. I can't. How did you manage? To forgive yourself for ...you know..." He said with a vague wave of the hand, signifying everything. Vash sighed and turned away from him, gazing at the moon.

"You know, I'm not sure if I ever really have. For anything. Some days everything seems right in the world. And then other days...it takes everything I have to make it until sunset without breaking down. I may not always do a good job, but I try not to get too hung up over the past because with all its potential the future's worth striving for."

"And what do you see in your future?"

"I'm not telling."

"Huh? Why?"

"Because. You'll just have to stick around with me and find out for yourself." Wolfwood smiled at him.

"Sure thing spiky. Sure thing."

-L&P-

They were walking along leisurely in town. They were happy to momentarily be free of the cold empty structure and be out in the sunlight. And to make things better it was just the two of them. What more could one ask for?

"It sure is a lovely day isn't it? I wish everyday were this nice." Millie said, enjoying the breeze, the sunlight, and the company.

"You have a point. It is beautiful. If I didn't know any better, I'd say it was the most beautiful day I've seen my entire life." Wolfwood admitted. The scenery about them left something to be desired. There were still some repairs being done for the damage caused by Jacquelyn, and it was a little too crowded out here on the street for his liking. But then again, he wasn't really paying attention anything else.

"I'm sure that you have seen plenty of beautiful days before." Millie said, stooping to pet a little cat and its kitten nosing about the trash. She gave it a quick hug, then rejoined her company.

"Yes. But things are different now."

"Different how?" She asked, playfully bumping into him.

"I've never been the type to look up at the sky. I saw it as a pointless waste of time. I guess I developed that mindset from the way I was…raised. Ahh, but now…" He said, stretching his arms out, leaning back and taking in the sun. "I actually want to waste time and stare at the sky. It's amazing how much more beautiful life can be when you've nearly lost it. I'm sorry…I'm getting all mushy on you. Next thing you know I'm gonna start craving donuts."

"No, I don't mind. I like it when you tell me all these things. It's better to let people know that you're happy rather than keep quiet and cause people to worry about you."

"I seem happy?" He asked, genuinely taken aback.

"Of course silly! You're smiling, talking, playing. You would always joke and laugh before, but even when you seemed happy you still carried around this sadness that was heartbreaking. I'm so so glad that you're happier now!" She gushed and then picked up off the ground in a bear hug. He laughed, blushing slightly as several passers by gave them an odd look.

"Ok, you've made you point." He said. She laughed and set him down.

"What can I say? I love hugs." She said wrapping her arms around herself.

They took their time with the shopping. There was really no big hurry to get back to the ship, dinner was still several hours away anyway. Well, if that stuff that they served could even be called dinner. They hit all their favorite stores, and even stopped by a few new ones. Wolfwood stopped and checked out a motorcycle for sale, but the asking price was too high for him. He had put in all of his money a week ago into the special deal that he had made with one of the crew members. Although the guy had better hurry up with it, Wolfwood thought, or he would go to someone else.

The whole time that they shopped Millie became more and more chatty, while conversely Wolfwood became quieter and more pensive. His mind kept replaying last night's conversation with Vash. He tried to hide his mood, but that girl could always see right through him.

"Hey, is there something wrong?" Millie asked him, as they took a break on a bench.

"Yes and no, actually." He admitted, knowing it was futile to deny it.

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

"In fact it mostly involves you."

"What did I do? I'm sorry if I did something wrong to upset you." She fretted, immediately worried.

"No, no. You didn't do anything wrong. It's me, not you."

"But you said it was about me so how could it be you?" She puzzled, still stressing. Wolfwood ran his hands over his face. He was messing things up already. And he hadn't even started yet! Lord he could really use a cigarette right about now…

"Millie…what do you know about me?"

"What do you mean?"

"Just tell me. How much do you know about me?"

"Hmm. Lets see. I know that your name is Nicholas D. Wolfwood. You have an orphanage outside of December. And that's because you really love kids! I've never seen someone so good with children before. You are always looking out for others who can't help themselves, and even a few who can. That's because you are a truly caring person, even if you don't always know how to show it. You're always honest; even though some may call you too blunt and get upset, but not me! You're not very good a chess, but can guess things really good almost as if you were a mind reader. You hate to shave and you have this banana shaped birthmark right around…"

"Ok, ok. And with all that you know, how do you feel about me?"

"What? Why I love you of course." She said, puzzled that he would even have to ask. He sighed. She wasn't making this any easier.

"All of what you have said may be true, but it's not the whole truth." He sighed, avoiding looking at her but staring out over the road. "There's more to me than that. There are things in my past that I'm ashamed of and don't want you to know. I don't want you to know but it feels wrong to hide stuff from you, but I'm afraid that if you found out that you will hate me. And the awful thing is, you would be completely justified in hating me."

"I could never hate you." She said sadly.

"Yes you could. And you should." He said, standing. "Millie, I'm not the great person that you're making me out to be. I've done awful things. In fact my whole past is one long blood stained record. I can't even tell you how many people that I've killed. In fact, the only reason I joined…"

"Hush." She said quietly, cutting him off. Everything he was about to say died off on his lips. He watched as she stood and held him by his shoulders. "I know that you have a sad past. I can see it in your eyes. And because it is sad is the reason why I have never asked about it. And I don't want to know. I don't want you to have to dig up all those painful memories on my account. It honestly doesn't matter what kind of man you were before, because I can clearly see what kind of man you are now. That's why I love you. And I do even more so whenever I think about what kind of person you will be tomorrow. So please don't worry about this anymore. My great auntie once told me an old saying once: 'instead of being ashamed of what you have been through; be proud of what you have become'. I think it suits you."

He was speechless. Everything that had been eating him up on the inside for the past few weeks, no, longer, had been dispelled with a few quiet words. As if it had been nothing at all. She truly was amazing.

"Back at Tonim, whenever I thought that I was dying, do you know what I thought of?" He asked her quietly.

"No. What?"

"You." He said simply. "All I could think of was how much I loved you and that I didn't want to die yet because I wanted to be with you."

"Awww! That's so sweet, sad, and romantic all wrapped in one. I love you too!" She said tearing up. They embraced tightly then pulled in close for a long kiss. Wolfwood was the first to break away.

"Millie? I've got something to ask you."

"Anything!" Was they joyful reply. He went down on one knee.

"Will you marry me?"

-L&P-

The mess hall had been converted into party central. Even a few members of the crew that they had begun to get close to was in attendance. Everyone was talking, laughing, and generally getting hammered. Once Wolfwood and Millie had returned from town, the tall girl had immediately sought out the other two and told them the news. Meryl had spit her coffee out everywhere and Vash had nearly choked on what he was eating. Meryl had at first thought that they were playing a practical joke on them, but soon realized that they were completely serious. Once the two had gotten over their initial shock (much to the couples amusement) they were overjoyed.

Vash was so thrilled that Wolfwood had actually gotten over his demons and proposed, he latched onto him in a bear hug, crying, and refused to let go. That is, until the priest had threatened to bite him if he didn't release him this instant. Wolfwood was apologetic that he didn't have a ring to offer, but Millie had told him that she did not mind waiting until he could get one, and he promised that it would be soon. Before they went through with anything, she wanted him to meet her family. All of them. But with the current situation the way it was, that might not take place for a while, but neither of them minded the wait.

To celebrate they had claimed the mess hall after dinner had been issued out. Instead of the usual junk that they usually were forced to eat, they brought out the good food. This consisted of mostly the little stashes that each of them had been hoarding in their rooms for on the too frequent occasions that the packaged food made them want to hurl. They would be stuck eating junk for a while, but hey, this was a special occasion.

Everyone was laughing, eating, and drinking (some more than others). Even the Doc had dropped by to offer his congratulations and to have a small drink with them. Meryl wanted to know all the details about how it happened. How could she have not seen this coming, she had wondered to herself. Millie had told her all about it (naturally keeping some things to herself so he wouldn't be faced with any questions that he would be uncomfortable with).

The celebration stretched well into the night. Those that could retired to their rooms once they had reached their exhaustion point. Several were carried back to their rooms. The rest just slept where they landed. The work in number one had to be postponed a whole day because nearly half the crew (Vash included) were too hungover to do anything productive that day. Besides, eight or so extremely nauseous people around delicate electronics was not a good idea. Aside from the after party slump, the general mood lingering about was a happy one, especially for the two who had found what they had been looking for all along in life.

-L&P-

The once bare plant room was now full of equipment. Cords and cables snaked everywhere across the floor. If one wasn't careful with where they were going they would trip over the lines and be sent sprawling. The monitors and the like were placed peripherally around the room, lining the walls. The exception was the main control station placed right in front of the door. The center of the floor remained reserved for the extracting equipment which hadn't been put into place yet. The main focus for tonight was up on the platform where the modified casing and accompanying equipment was being set up. It was already well past midnight but they were so close to completing it no one wanted to call it quits yet.

"How's that Doc? What does it say now?" Vash called out to the old scientist at the control station. He watched as he re-ran the data then called out.

"It's alright now! That's good!"

"It only took five tries…" Vash muttered to himself, closing up the panel that held the complicated technology inside. He stood up, painfully stretching out his stiff back. He took a few steps back the looked up at the device. It stood nearly twenty heels high. Instead of the traditional plant design, this one was markedly different. Facing outwards to the rest of the room was a massive chunk of convex glass. It was made from fusing together the shards from poor number one. The glass was nowhere near its former strength, but then again it was for temporary use only. Joined to the half of the sphere was metal. This braced all the workings of a plant that were usually hidden behind steel walls. It also held a door. And it was a door that he had yet to go through. Vash knew that he was just postponing the inevitable and nothing would be gained by procrastinating…but that didn't change the fact that he didn't want to go in there. Unless his aid was vital (or it was time) he was perfectly content to stay out and let the Doc take care of things within. Turning away from the thing, he dodged people and equipment to join the little man.

"Except for small things here and there, I do believe that we have this finished." The Doc said as he walked up.

"Hmm, yeah." Was the slightly less than enthusiastic response. The Doc chuckled at him.

"Why don't you go get some rest now? And leave the rest of the work for us to finish up this week."

"Aw but Doc, there's still plenty to do and its only right that I work considering that all of this is because of me…"

"Believe me son, you've already done more than your share of the work. In more ways than one. Don't worry about it and leave the rest to me."

"Umm…"

"Or shall I have to get Ms. Meryl and Ms. Millie to convince you?"

"Ahhaha, ok. You win. Just keep me in the loop, ok?" Vash laughed, picking up his coat from where he had draped it over a chair hours ago. "You get some rest too. Bye guys!" He waved to the others before leaving.

He made his way slowly down the dim halls. He was tired but not sleepy. Raid the mess hall? Nah, he didn't want anything at the moment. See if Wolfwood wanted a few drinks? No, everybody would be asleep by now. And besides, they had finished off the entire stash the other night at the party. Oh, the headache…

As he walked along pondering the evil curse that was otherwise known as the hangover, he noticed that the door leading out to the balcony was open just a sliver. Curious, he opened it a little more and peered out. Over at the far end against the corner was a small mass of…well…he had no idea _what_ that thing was. Quietly and cautiously he approached it. The lumpy mound was actually a pile of blankets. And it was moving. Profoundly puzzled, he tentatively reached out and poked it.

"Mfff!" Came an irritated grunt from under the covers.

"What the…who's in there?" He asked lifting a corner, exposing a groggy and irritated little woman. "Meryl? What are you doing out here?" He laughed at her. She sat up rubbing at her face to work out the sleepiness.

"I uhh…what are the chances that you could just go and pretend you never saw me out here?" She asked him, hair sticking out at odd angles.

"None." He chuckled, sitting down beside her. "Tell me what's going on…"

"I just couldn't sleep in there, that's all."

"How come?"

"It's just so damn cold in there. And…oh forget it. I don't want to complain." She said pulling the blankets tighter around herself.

"No, go on. Pleeese tell me…" He pleaded, trying to cute his way into getting her to talk.

"I didn't want you to find out about this but I've been sleeping out here since about a week after we arrived."

"Oh Meryl…"

"I've tried but I can't sleep in there. No matter how many blankest I have I freeze. And it's not just at night either. No offence to you or anyone else here, but I hate this place. I hate it with a passion. It's dark, cold, and empty. Perhaps it's just the thought keeping me awake, but honestly it reminds me of a tomb. Half the time I can't even tell if its day or night. That and for the most part I'm all by myself in there."

"I'm sorry, I try to…"

"I know, I know." She cut him off. "I understand, that's why I didn't want to say anything. I knew you would feel bad about it."

"And about sleeping out here?"

"Well it is kinda odd…" She trailed off, embarrassed.

"Just a little bit. But isn't sleeping out here just as cold as inside?" He asked, placing the red duster over her shoulders in addition to her blankets. She smiled at the sweet gesture, pulling it around herself tightly.  
"Yeah, but I'm used to this kind of cold. What? Don't you think its cold in there?"

"I can't say that I would know. I don't get cold. Never had been a day in my life."

"Seriously?"

"Yup. Even when these goons locked me in a freezer for three hours. Boy where they surprised when they came back and opened it. It's just a…you know…thing."

"Lucky." She chuckled, then broke out into a wide yawn.

"Do you want me to go so you can get back to sleep?"

"Nah. I was just dozing when you came by. I wasn't having any luck out here tonight either."

"Tomorrow I'll see if I can get a heater set up in your room so you don't have to sleep out here anymore. But as for tonight…" He lay down across the blankets and patted the space beside of him. She cocked an eyebrow at him.

"I'm not trying to put the moves on you or anything. I just want to make sure you stay warm for once. Common." He urged again. Deciding that he was serious, she stretched out beside of him facing away. He wrapped an arm around her and snuggled close. After several minuets of peaceful silence Meryl spoke up.

"I'm already feeling better. Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"Even if I did half expect you to try and pull something."

"That's mean of you to say…Why? Would it have worked?" She elbowed him lightly in the ribs.

"You're rotten." He just chuckled at her.

"Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

Despite working as late as he had last night, Vash still woke with the first traces of the dawn. At first he couldn't figure out why in the world he was outside then it all came back once he noticed the small woman in his arms. He smiled and cuddled her as close as he could without risking waking her up. But they couldn't stay out here much longer though. The sun was rising quickly and things would get hot fast.

"Meryl…Meryl…wake up." Vash said, shaking her gently.

"Uh-un." She mumbled then disappeared beneath the covers.

"We gotta go in now."

"M'kay." She muttered but didn't emerge. Smirking, in one big armful he gathered the blankets, his coat, and her and went on inside. He had no idea where the key to her apartment was (and was _not_ about to risk life and limb by fishing for it) so he just put her on his bed, left a note, and made for the mess hall.

"Hey Wolfwood, Millie! You guys are up early. Especially you." He said to the priest as he joined them in line.

"Yeah, we're heading to town after we eat. Some of the guys here had some things that they needed us to do. I'm glad to have some purpose around here. I just wish that it wasn't errand boy." Wolfwood said irritably, being accustomed to waking several hours later. Millie, however, was as bright as ever.

"I like running errands and helping everybody out. I think its fun and its better to be busy than to sit around all day!"

"I'm going to have nothing to do for the next few days but sit around. The Doc ran me off and won't let me help out anymore. He said I needed to rest."

"The guy's right." Wolfwood said grabbing three of the instant coffee packets and practically growled at the worker who tried to stop him from taking the extras.

"Whatcha mean?"

"Have you seen yourself? Your hairs all jacked up, you haven't shaved, and you forgot your coat."

"Oh yeah." Vash said, glancing down at himself. "I skipped dinner last night so I was going to get some breakfast before I showered. And I'll have to wait until Meryl wakes up before I can get my coat back. It's all tangled up in the blankets."

"Oh _really_?" Wolfwood asked him, instantly awake now as his attention was snagged. Vash paused as he realized how what he had just said sounded.

"No, no, no, no. I didn't mean it like that."

"Why does she have your coat?" Millie asked, blissfully ignorant.

"So you finally convinced her that you're serious, huh?" Wolfwood asked, nudging him in the ribs.

"_No_. It's not like that. She was cold so I gave my coat to her. That's all."

"Oh that reminds me Nic!" Millie exclaimed.

"_Nic_?"

"We need to ask Meryl if she wants anything from town. Don't let me forget to drop by her room before we take off."

"Uh, you can't exactly do that…"

"Why not?" She asked him, watching with a confused expression as he became increasingly uncomfortable.

"Because she's not in her room."

"Then where is she?"

"In mine…" He said in a tiny voice.

"Aha!" Wolfwood shouted victoriously, pointing an accusatory finger at him. He broke off into a peal of laughter while Millie blushed uncomfortably. Perhaps, Vash thought, it would be wiser to skip breakfast and go prepare his last will and testament instead. Because once she found out about this she was going to kill him.

-L&P-

"Geeze, these guys are getting really snappy." Wolfwood said, plopping down with the others. They were having lunch on their traditional little picnic spot on the balcony. "This one guy nearly bit my hand off whenever I tried to take the last apple. That one was mine dammit..." He took his frustration out on his poor sandwich.

"Keep in mind that these guys have lived off prepackaged processed food their whole lives. These goodies that they keep sending you guys out for is really spoiling them." Vash said, eyeing the sandwich enviously, being bare handed.

"That would be really awful." Millie said, taking a drink out of Wolfwood's bottle. "But I suppose that the plus side is that they can have all they want now that the ship will soon be turned into a city."

"That's true. How long will it take them to break this down and convert it Vash?" Meryl asked, working on her own sandwich, although with less enthusiasm than the still fuming priest.

"My guess is a few years. The first ships were broken down in a matter of months but then again there was a higher level of urgency back in those days. Now things aren't so rushed."

"It's so weird to hear you talk like that…So. The sooner we get out of here the better?" Wolfwood asked him.

"Yeah. Although the procedure is in two days I have no idea how long it will take to get Knives…umm…"

"To play nice with others?" Meryl asked.

"Yeah." Vash laughed. Wolfwood snorted.

"Hey! How come you're not eating?" Millie asked the gunman. His mood instantly switched over to sullen.

"Because I can't have anything to eat until this whole thing is over." He sulked, eyeing their food.

"But how come?"

"Technical babble aside, it's to help encourage the transition from utilizing energy that is metabolized to energy that I naturally generate." Blank stairs… "It's to help me run the thingamabob." Oh, ok, nods and agreement all around. "But darn it that looks so good…can I have just one bite?"

"No!" Meryl said swatting at his hand. "We're not taking any chances with this. So no food."

"Aww…"

"So, how long will this whole thing take? How does it work anyway?" Wolfwood asked, deliberately taking a slow bite out of his sandwich. Millie silently scolded him.

"Assuming that everything goes well it will take eight to ten hours. What we're going to do is hook him up, sorta like they're going to do to me. But instead of the regulating and processing equipment and such the energy is going to be pulled out of him raw and unrefined. Its very similar to how the angel arms work."

"But isn't that dangerous? Where will the energy go?"

"That's why it will take so long. Some of it will be stored but most is going to be released outside in such small quantities that it will pose no danger."

"How will Knives be through all of this?" Millie asked.

"Well for the first part he'll still be sedated. But we'll time his dosage to where he'll wake up halfway through."

"But _why_?"

"As awful and cruel as it sounds, the more he struggles the quicker this will be over with." Vash said sadly, looking at his hands. "He'll be restrained within and every action he would take will only drain him faster. Trust me, there's no danger to anybody else. The more I think about it, the more terrible and heartless it seems…"

"Don't focus on that." Meryl said to him. "Focus on later. Remember what you're striving for and don't lose your nerve. This brings to mind that saying: 'You have to be cruel to be kind'."

"I know…I know. But still, you know?"

-L&P-

It was time. It was six in the morning but everybody was wide awake and alert. A choice few hadn't even been to bed at all. The room was a buzz of activity, double and triple checking, and finally giving the all clear. This scene was what greeted the four as they entered the plant room.

"Wow, they've got a lot done since I've last been in here." Wolfwood said, pulling out a toothpick.

"Look at all that technology…" Millie said in awe. They saw the Doc break away from a cluster of attendants and approach them.

"Every test we have run has come back all clear. And I have just been informed that Knives is ready to be moved in once we get things started. We are ready to go whenever you are son." The Doc said looking at him kindly. A simple nod was all the reply he got. Not a single word had been said between the four over breakfast earlier. There was this heaviness that hung in the air that seemed to forbid conversation. The gnawing tension was eating at everyone. Vash desperately wanted to try and lighten the mood. To joke and reassure everybody that things were going to be ok, but he couldn't find the words to work with. He was so nervous that his voice wouldn't work and his stomach was tying itself up into knots.

"Come over this way to the table, we need to attach some monitors to you first." The Doc said

"Monitors?" Wolfwood asked following closely behind.

"Yes, to monitor cardiac and respiratory rate as well as brain activity."

"Oh, so you can't tell if the thing starts to fry him." They all shot Wolfwood a dirty look.

"I would have worded it differently, but yes." The Doc said somewhat distastefully.

"You know, surprisingly enough, this isn't making me feel any more comfortable about this." Vash said dryly, undoing the buttons of his coat. Meryl took it once he had pulled it off and also took the black shirt and earring. Wolfwood and the girls watched in silent fascination as the Doc attached three black little devices to his chest and two on the sides of his head, which disappeared into his hair. He fidgeted uncomfortably in the chair while the scientist brought up the data on the screen. He was embarrassed about how high the heart rate was but no one was about to tease him about it. They couldn't think of anything less funny at the moment.

"Everything is fine." The Doc said looking up at him.

"Well ok then. I, uh, I guess I'd better get going now huh? Alrighty. Well I…I'll see you guys in a few hours. Ok? Save some lunch for me, I'm starving!" He tried to joke. But the stoic expressions on his friend's faces didn't waver. Millie clung to Wolfwood and Meryl looked as if she wanted to say something to him but didn't know what. She just held tightly to his clothes.

"Oh, that reminds me…" He muttered, pulling off his boots. "Wont need these in there, hehehe." He stashed them under the table. He wanted to say something, anything, to them, especially her, but couldn't. Instead he swallowed hard, waved, and approached the looming machine. Several attendants waited by the door for him. Wordlessly he stepped through the steel opening with the three close behind. Being free for so long and with this modified technology they had to devise a new method for attachment. Before being hooked up to the core device above their heads, the attendants began to strap the adapting technology to him. Cold steel and wires were firmly bound to warm flesh. Down his back, across his chest, his wrist, and finally his neck.

"If you'll just climb up here, we'll fasten you in." One of the attendants directed. The four of them climbed to the top of the collapsible platform inside the chamber. He was first secured around the midsection, the attendants connecting the technology as they went. Next they strapped back his legs in sort of a hanging harness for support, then his arms. He silently watched as one man secured the restraint around his wrist, seemingly oblivious to the trembling fingers he held in his hand. Once they had finished the three attendants climbed down off the platform and folded it up. This left Vash suspended up in the air by the cords and restraints, leaning forward, in almost a cruxification type style. He watched as they pulled the platform out of the door, checked for anything remaining within, and then closed the door with a resonating thud. The finality of the sound almost made him lose his nerve. There was no other way, he firmly told himself, trying to quell the nausea that the fear had generated. No matter what happened he had to go through with this. But would they stop the operation? What if he began to...

A hollow thunking sound made him jump. A dim figure could be made out on the other side of the glass.

"The doc says everything is good to go!" A muffled voice called. "Are you ready?"

"Y-yes!" He called back. The figure retreated away. At this he began to shake violently. He steeled himself for the torture to come. He tried to think of anything that would distract him but his thoughts only ran in terrified circles. There was the sound of equipment humming to life. He prayed that it would just start already, the pain from the wait probably being as bad as the pain that was coming.

Only there was no pain.

A soothing glowing warmth began to spread throughout him. It didn't hurt, in fact it felt rather…nice. Calming. It was the kind of utter peace and relaxation that could only be found in dreams. The shaking ceased and all the tension drained away instantly. He softly laughed in astonishment. All that he had been expecting… it couldn't have been further from the truth. Within he felt the energy pulling to increase, and he let it. He closed his eyes, drifting in the soft white glow, enjoying the sensation. He couldn't ever remember feeling this at peace. Completely relaxed, completely secure. The feeling was so nice. He knew he didn't have to worry, to struggle, or anything in here. In this place there was no such thing as pain. Once again he felt the energy pull at him. Instead of simply allowing it he did more. He rose to meet it, offering everything within himself to that euphoric glow. If there was a paradise out there, he faintly thought, than this is what it must feel like…

-L&P-

The four of them quietly watched as Vash waved to them then entered the machine with the three attendants. The Doc hopped up onto his seat, pulling himself close to the controls. The large slab of glass was too hazy for the three to see what was happening within so they turned their attention to the monitors, hovering closely behind the scientist. All the information displayed was completely alien to them, having no scientific experience. All except one: the vitals readout. Movement up ahead caught their eye. The assistants were coming out, pulling some equipment out with them. One turned back and sealed the door shut. A bleep from the computer reclaimed their attention. Respiratory and brain activity were becoming erratic and the heart rate was creeping up into dangerous levels.

"What's wrong with him?" Millie asked quietly.

"He's terrified." Was Wolfwood's soft reply.

"I'm going to start this on the lowest setting possible." The Doc said. "If everything is alright, we'll raise it." He told one of the attendants to inform Vash that they were good to go and to ask him if he was ready. The man knocked on the glass, shouted out the question, listened for a moment, then gave everyone a thumbs up. "Alright. Here goes…"

The equipment hummed to life. Nearly instantaneously the readouts from the vitals began to slow and stabilize while all the other monitors blinked to life. Everyone in the room stopped and watched as the glass began to glow, lit up from within.

"Everything seems to be running perfectly. Let's increase the output…" A few moments later everything appeared to be going aright. "This is proceeding perfectly. Now let's see if we can raise it to the minimum we need for the operation." The Doc said, entering in the new info. The monitors sudden erupted into a flurry of activity.

"What's going on?" Meryl demanded tensely.

"Do not worry. It's fine. Actually this is a good thing. He's becoming accustomed to it and is now producing energy at a tremendous rate now. He's operating on the same level as a fully functioning plant.

"Good." She breathed out; easing the death grip she had on the clothes. There was a continuous squalling tone as both the respiratory and heart rate abruptly ceased. There was an immediate outcry from the three observers.

"What the hell! Get him out of there now!" Wolfwood roared. The Doc frantically scanned over the monitors. "Quit messing around with those damn things and get him out!"

"It's alright, wait…"

"The hell it is! He's dying! I'll do it myself…"

"Wait! I said!" The little man shouted in a stern voice that commanded attention. Wolfwood paused but would not be stayed long. "He's not dying, see? Energy production remains at the same level and brain activity is normal. In fact, the patters are the same as R.E.M. sleep. He's not dying, he's dreaming."

"But…but on the screen there…it said that his hearts stopped. He's not breathing…" Meryl sobbed out.

"Oh, there there…" The old man soothed. "Keep in mind that unlike us, he doesn't need to breathe, especially not in there. Asides from him and his brother, no plant performs any of these biological functions that you and I are so accustomed to."

"You mean to tell me that you knew that this was going to happen? And you didn't warn us?" Wolfwood asked threatingly. The old man was not cowed.

"I suspected that it could happen, but I never expected him to adapt so completely to the machine like that. I sincerely apologize though; I should have informed you of what might happen." The apology was enough for Wolfwood who turned from him to embrace his quietly crying fiancé.

"So everything's aright?" Meryl tentatively asked.

"It certainly is. Come, see the displays. All is fine. In fact Ms. Meryl, I would like you to sit here and observe this for me. Inform me the moment anything changes." He comforted in a warm grandfatherly way. She knew that he was only offering her the small task to keep her preoccupied and to make her feel useful, but still she was grateful for it.

"Where will you be?" She asked.  
"I will be down there supervising. Its time to bring in Knives."

-L&P-

A silence hung over the room as the unconscious man was wheeled into the room on an infirmary bed. Although he knew that some would accuse him of being cautious to the point of paranoia, Wolfwood separated himself from the girls to go over where the action was taking place in case some muscle was needed. Knives, as it turned out, was oblivious to anything that was happening.

In a strange mirror of what had been done to Vash, he was stripped down to only his pants and outfitted with similar devices oh his back, chest, wrists, and neck. In the center of the plant room in the midst of the equipment was a circular platform, one heel high and nearly five in diameter. It was at this focal point where all the cables and cords met. And it was to here that they carried him. For the safety of everyone, and to ensure he didn't interfere with the process once he woke, Knives had to be made completely immobile. He couldn't be lain down because it might interfere with the placement of the attachments. He was sat down within the circle on his knees. His hands were securely fastened to the floor before him, palms inseparable from the metal. Ankles bound and legs anchored to the floor in an immovable position. And lastly, in a cruel ironic fashion, a collar about his neck chaining him to the floor.

Even with the general amount of hatred in the room towards this man, it was a sad sight. Even Wolfwood almost felt empathetic towards him at how far he had fallen. Almost. Once he was secure and everything attached, the workers stepped back. The unconscious man slumped forwards, his face dipping down into the shadows almost as if he were hiding from the light cast by his brother. There was one last thing to do before they could begin. Even though the energy that was going to be torn from him was in small quantities at a time, uncontained it would be lethal to all those in the room. So they had to seal him in. The glass was cylindrical, half a heel thick, and perfectly clear. It was lowered into place, sealed, and locked, entrapping the kneeling figure within.

"Aright Doc, everything's up to you now. Let's do this" Wolfwood said, joining everyone back at the control station.

"…Yes. I agree." He said. With a heavy and sorrowful heart, mourning that it had to have come to this, he switched on the machine.

-L&P-

"How long has it been now?" Meryl asked, gaze flitting from the monitor to Knives.

"Five and a half hours now. It won't be much longer until he wakes up." Answered Rick, one of the chief attendants. "We're over halfway through…"

For the first three hours the luminescence produced from the extraction process was enough to force those in the room to turn away or wear protective eye gear. After that the light began to fade quickly. Nearly six hours into the operation the figure was now enveloped in a thin hazy whiteness, dim enough for everyone to see his basic features but no details.

"How will we know when it's finished?" Millie asked.

"The equipment works much like a vacuum, pulling away the energy. Once there is nothing left the vacuum will fold in on itself. Not literally of course, but its going to cause our equipment here to malfunction." Rick said tapping the computer with one knuckle.

"It won't hurt him will it?" Meryl asked.

"I hardly think that's relevant." Rick scoffed.

"I believe that the lady asked you a question, and I expect you to answer it." Wolfwood said, growing more tense by the hour. Besides, he had decided several days ago that he didn't like this man. His apple…

"Look!" Millie cried out. "He's moving!"

Instantly everyone's attention was turned to the center of the room. Knives was stirring slightly, struggling to sit up. He tried to look around but the equipment and the collar allowed for little movement. He paused, pulled again, paused again, then realizing what had been done to him began to struggle fiercely. But it was no use. He managed to move enough to look up at them all. They couldn't hear what he began shouting but their imaginations filled in the blanks nicely. Abruptly he quit struggling and became very still. The light of the chamber flared up brightly once more. After a few moments it faded down duller that it had been before. Knives was momentarily puzzled then flew into a rage. For the next hour he struggled and fought and threw unheard curses at them. His actions soon became more sluggish, more desperate. The light that he had been emitting was completely gone now, but still the machine ran on.

More than one person had to turn away as the curses became pleadings; they could tell by the look on his face. Soon he quit struggling altogether, simply staring at them fighting to breathe. This continued on for another agonizing thirty minuets. Then, unable to look up at them any longer, he bowed his head, then all hell broke loose.

The machines screamed out a klaxon alarm and the monitors went berserk, multiple sections flashing red urgently. Before anyone could react quickly enough to switch the machine off, the glass fractured with one final pulse and crashed to the floor. The three outsiders watched in breathless silence as the attendants rushed to switch everything off and swarmed to pull the glass off the motionless man. One urgent voice rose above the throng, calling for a resuscitation kit immediately!

"Oh my God, that thing killed him…"

He was quickly pulled free from the restraints and laid out onto the floor. Wolfwood and the girls managed to break free from the paralysis that had gripped them and rushed the floor. They butted their way through the crowed just in time to see the Med Tech run a current through his chest, restarting his heart.

There was almost a uniform exhalation of relief as he began to breathe again. Despite the harsh words from many of the crew about the man before them, no one truly wanted to see him die. They each valued life, that's why they were chosen to stay on for this mission. The aggressive med tech forced everyone back. He needed to get this man back to the infirmary to make sure he was stable and suffered no hidden damage, so dammit if you weren't needed you had better back off. He and several others quickly whisked him away.

"Not literally, _huh_?" Meryl snapped at Rick as she walked back to the main consol. Millie shot him a dirty look as well. Rick made himself busy elsewhere before Wolfwood could get his two cents in. The Doc sat in his chair rubbing at his temples, obviously stressed and exhausted.

"I didn't think that something like this could happen. I should have foreseen this…To think…we nearly killed him..."

"It's not your fault. Vash obviously didn't expect this either or else he would have planned for it." Millie reassured. "Besides, it worked didn't it? And that nice doctor managed to bring him back, so what is everybody so serous for? Knives is ok and can't hurt anybody anymore. In my opinion that's a cause for a party!"

"That's right big girl! We did manage to pull this shindig off, didn't we? You and your guys gotta join us doc for a drink, after all it was only possible because of you!" He joyfully said clapping him on the back a little too hard for the old mans liking, but he smiled through it anyway. He even managed a small blush when Millie hugged him.

"Ok, ok, let's not break out the bottles yet." Meryl interrupted, forever practical. "We need to make sure Knives is stable and truly alright first. And besides…aren't we missing somebody?" She smiled with a jerk of the thumb towards Vash.

"Of course we couldn't forget Mr. Oversized nightlight over there! Doc when…"

"I'm already on it." He said, working the consol. He keyed in something, waited a moment, tried again, smile fading slightly. Nothing. He tried again with a slight huff.

"Doc…"

"I've stopped drawing power from him but he's still on full output. Going full steam so to speak."

"Why don't you just go open the door and tell him it's over now?" Millie asked.

"Good heavens, _no_ dear. Doing so would run the risk of an explosion that could kill us all."

"Then what's going on?" Meryl sharply asked. The Doc scanned over the monitors a moment.

"Ah, see there. Brain activity still indicates R.E.M sleep. He doesn't realize that we are done."

"Well then, lets go wake him up." Wolfwood said mischievously. He strolled up to the glass and pounded on it with one fist. "Heelllooo in there! Time to wake up!" After a moment he glanced back to the others. The Doc looked at the computer then shook his head. Wolfwood pounded harder. "Hey! It's over! You're done now!" There was still no change.

The Doc sent several others over to help. Two hit on the glass with Wolfwood while one beat on the door with a tool that had been abandoned nearby. A preternatural resonation soon began to reverberate throughout the air.

"Number four…" Meryl whispered, remembering where she had heard that sound before. The computers began to scream out a warning.

"Stop! I said _Stop_!" The Doc shouted urgently. The men surrounding the plant froze. Slowly the hum faded back into silence and the computer settled as well.

"What's happening…" She asked the little man in a small voice. He didn't answer immediately, he simply bowed his head.

"Too much stress will cause a malfunction…He was starting…It's no good. He's not going to wake up."


	7. Chosen Path

**A/N: **Hey out there in fanfiction land. This chapter is a little shorter than the other ones, especially in comparison with the last chapter. But I felt what goes on here was important enough and deserving of a chapter all its own.

**Chapter Seven:**

**Chosen Path**

It was deep in the middle of the night, but one was still awake and moving about. She stopped and pressed her ear to the door to listen for a moment before keying in on the panel like he had shown her how to ages ago. A quick glance around told her that she had the room to herself. Finally. For the past three days there had always been some sort of activity going on, some new method to try that invariably would fail. But as time had ticked on there had been less ideas, more resignation, until without anything more to do there was no need to stay in here any longer. And now she finally had the place to herself.

She closed the door behind her, partially wishing that she knew how to lock it as well, and walked up to the top of the platform.

"Hey in there." Meryl said softly, resting her head on the glass, running her hand over the smooth material. "Sorry I couldn't' come by sooner. It's been a little chaotic here the past few days, and this is the first chance I've had to have you all to myself. And it feels so much nicer to be in here than anywhere else." She said sitting down and leaning heavily against the glass, taking in the warmth.

"It's that same old complaint that I've had since I've been here: 'it's too cold'. I know, I know…you gave me a heater so I wouldn't have this problem. But to be honest, I haven't had the heart to turn it on. In fact I haven't used it, or the lights, or anything else that draws power since you've left. You can laugh, call me silly, or whatever you want, but I can't stand the thought of contributing to pulling the life out of you. I can't. So I've just been sitting in the dark. And the cold. But not anymore…" She sighed, pressing her face to the glass.

"To be honest I'm getting a little sleepy sitting here by you, but I refuse to go to sleep. I don't know how long they'll leave us alone so I plan on making the most of it…Since you can't exactly get out and about anymore I'll tell you everything that's been going on since you've left."

"What you would like to know the most, I suppose, is how Knives is doing. You'll be glad to know that it worked. It actually did. And that he's ok. Remember that big fuss when the machine stopped? Well the medic said that Knives'es heart stopped because the sudden void of power was a huge shock to his body. Almost as if it didn't realize that it could live without it. He told us that when he revived him he was…re booted, whatever that means. _Anyway_, Knives has been put through extensive tests and the Doc said that except for natural genetic differences he is for all intents and purposes…human. And he's absolutely furious."

"I don't know if he realizes what we've done to him yet. But he defiantly knows that we've hurt him, caged him, and that he can't use his telepathic abilities anymore. He hasn't said anything about it, but he'll be quiet for a moment like he's concentrating, then when nothing happens he gets really angry. Don't worry; I haven't gone to see him myself. All of this I've heard from Wolfwood."

"Wolfwood…he has made it his personal responsibility to see over Knives. Just yesterday he spent five whole hours with him. Not _in_ with him of course, but outside of his cell, talking. Wolfwood wouldn't go into too much detail about what was said but he has told us that Knives doesn't know about you yet. I don't see how we're going to keep it from him for much longer though. He keeps demanding to see you, and is refusing to eat anything. If it keeps up much longer we'll have to drug him and then force feed him. I can only wonder how he will respond when we tell him about you. Will he be furious or laugh saying that you got what you deserved? I don't know him well enough to speculate." Meryl paused, thinking it over. She figured that it might be a combination of both.

"And speaking of tempers…While he has taken responsibility over Knives, Wolfwood's not doing so good himself. I believe that he's taken your leaving personally. I know he doesn't mean it so please don't think too badly of him, but he gets angry every time someone even hints at mentioning you. And he's been really snappy with everyone, especially to the Doc whom he holds responsible for this. He's just hurting, that's all. The only ones spared from his anger are Millie and myself. Poor Millie…She's just been a bundle of nerves since this has begun. She'll start crying at the drop of the hat, and it's so hard to convince her to eat anything (although it makes me somewhat of a hypocrite to try and talk her into it). Needless to say, her distress isn't helping out Wolfwood's mood any. It's that instinctive protectiveness, but he can't do anything about it which only makes things worse."

"While they may feel bad, nothing compares to how the Doc is fairing. That poor man is trying to take the full responsibility of this on himself. It kinda makes me wonder if you two are related. He hasn't slept for two days straight trying to figure out a solution. It was just this morning that we convinced him to try and get some rest, and he's been out ever since. He deserves the rest though. He's tried everything he could think of. I just hope it didn't bother you too much."

"Millie, remembering your little lesson on plants the first time we visited, asked him why we couldn't take you out like you two have tried with the other plants. He went on to explain it to us, and I'm not certain I got it all but I'll do my best to tell you. He said that they can regulate just about anything with other plants, so it was no problem getting them to reduce their output to where it was safe to remove them. Oh, I'm sorry by the way that it didn't work and you lost them. I don't think I remembered to tell you that last time, but I am. Who knows how many plants there would be running around if it did work though? Anyway, he said that because you have free will they couldn't have regulated you even if they did have the hardware in there to do it. He didn't think it would be necessary so that's why this doohickey was made without it. Some of the crew are still pondering about how to do it though, but not for the reasons you think."

"It's only the ones that don't really know you too well, but they've been trying to come up with a way to reinforce the glass and make an external way to control you. They think they've found their way back into the sky again. Unfortunately for three of these guys Wolfwood overheard them talking about it and… Well, he didn't kill them…but once they are able to leave the infirmary I'm sure that they'll be a little more discrete about such conversations. Don't worry though; they won't use you for that. The Doc was equally furious about this once he heard, although he was a little more contained about it. That little man is really starting to grow on me. He really does remind me of my grandfather, what little I remember of him anyway. He passed on when I was eight. He's also the one who gave me my first gun and taught me how to shoot. Teaching…that's another similarity between the two…" She trailed off, looking down at her hands. She had decided what she was going to do the moment she learned that he would never wake up again. No one else knew, but she didn't want to keep anything from him. Not anymore.

"…I know it's going to take me years and years but the Doc's promised me that he would teach me everything he knows about plants and technology and the like. I know if that airhead from Ineperil can be a technician I can be one too. Even more so because I know the truth about plants, or since were talking technical stuff: _Homo Angelus_. Very pretty…"

"I haven't told Wolfwood or Millie about this yet. That I'm staying here with you. It would be too soon for them to lose someone else. I know that they are not going to want to live in a crumbling ship soon to be fledgling city. It would be too hard to raise a family in those conditions. I'm guessing that they will go to the orphanage. The reason that their hanging around now is because of Wolfwood's obligation to Knives…and that they still have hope, even in the slightest, that you'll wake up. But eventually they will wear too thin and have to leave. When that time comes I'll take care of you and do my best for Knives too."

"Everybody has been so shocked and mortified by what's happened. But not me. They keep going in circles about how this could have happened, and are grasping at straws to try to fix it. But they're just wasting their time. Your not some slave to that machine like everyone thinks that you are. You're in there because you want to be. I can feel it. I wish that they could see it too. This here," She said gently tapping the glass, "It isn't some cell…no. It's a sanctuary. The way they all carry on…I know you could leave this very instant if you wanted to. But you don't want to. And I understand. That's why I'm not going to ask you to. Ever. Not for me. This is what you want, and you deserve to have it dammit. You've earned it…So you just rest, ok? I'll have a talk with everyone tomorrow. I'll study hard, and as for long as I live I'll stay with you and make sure you have peace. And one day, before I go, I'll tell someone else the most amazing story that they've ever heard and make them understand. That way I know that you'll be taken care of long after I'm gone…" She trailed off, unable to say anymore. She hid her face in her hands, the tears gathering in her palms to run down her wrists.

Before she was quiet through crying the doors opened. Meryl looked up irritably. It was too soon, she wanted more time with him. Instead of some members of the crew, or the Doc, it was Wolfwood. And he had been drinking, this much was apparent by the bottle he still carried. He staggered on in a few steps but paused whenever he looked up and saw her.

"Well, well. It seems that we had the same idea. Although I can't exactly say that I'm surprised to see you here." He said, coming closer.

"Please go. I want to be alone." Meryl said, wiping off her face and regaining her composure.

"Alone? Sure thing Meryl. I'll go. Just run on away. I'd say I'd be good at it, I've learned from the best." He said, kicking at a piece of equipment. "In fact, I've never seen someone so good at running away. It kinda makes me wonder though…What new way is he going to come up with to escape from reality? Something that could top this would be a helluva thing to see!" He exclaimed, stopping at the base of the stairs. "Today giant light bulb, tomorrow…who knows?"

"What do you want Wolfwood?" She asked him with an edge to her voice, standing up.

"I just wanted to have a…word or two with Mr. Escape artist here. That's all."

"You're drunk. And you shouldn't have that in here. You'll wind up ruining something." She marched down to meet him.

"Ruin something? With all these cords and junk, what's so precious in here that can be ruined?" She scowled at him. "But hey, maybe if I screw with things enough…if I annoy the hell out of him, maybe he'll cut it out with this nonsense."

"Leave him alone. He obviously doesn't want to come out. You all should respect that decision." Wolfwood was momentarily taken aback by this.

"Respect his decision? You mean you're actually _happy_ that he's in there?" He asked incredulously.

"I never said that." She said defensively. "But I understand, so if he wants to stay in there then I want it too."

"Do you even hear yourself? What nonsense."

"It's not nonsense!"

"You're actually condoning this cowardly behavior?"

"Don't you dare call him a coward." She warned viciously.

"He's locked himself up in that thing and refuses to face reality! He's abandoned us all! To me that's a coward!" He said throwing the bottle. It shattered against the stronger glass.

"I said don't call him that!" She shouted, pushing him hard. He staggered back a few steps. The ethereal hum began to fill the air.

"Yeah you can hear me can't you? Prove me wrong! I dare you!"

"Stop it! Leave him alone!" She practically screamed at him, blocking him so he couldn't go up the platform. "He wants to stay in there so leave him alone. He deserves to have what he wants for once!"

"He's just being selfish and…" The rest of whatever he was going to say was cut short as Meryl punched him squarely across the face. He slowly looked back towards her, his steely expression saying what words could not.

"Don't. Ever. Call him selfish again." She hissed at him. "In there is one of the most caring, unselfish, bravest people on this planet. You have no right to talk about him that way! You have no idea what he's been through."

"And you do?" Wolfwood asked, tone and expression unreadable.

"I don't have to know. I can see it in his eyes. He's been through more than you or I could ever imagine. And with all he's given I say he's entitled to a little selfishness, don't you think?" Wolfwood gave no reply. "I'm staying with him and I'm going to make sure that no one bothers him. Not you, not the Doc, no one. Not even me…"

"You make this decision and you'll suffer. Out of all of us you'll hurt the most." He said distantly.

"It's not about me. It never has been."

"So be it. I'll never set foot in here again." He vowed quietly. Wolfwood then turned and walked to the doors. He paused a moment. "I'm sorry." Then walked out of sight. Meryl stared at the spot he left for a moment then looked down at her hand. The knuckles were already starting to turn purple. She rubbed her hand in silence for a few moments.

"…I'm sorry that you had to hear all of that…I didn't mean for it to turn ugly. I…" She sighed. "I don't want to, but I have to go for now. I don't feel so good and I don't want to be sick around all this stuff. Besides…I think I need to go find some ice for my hand." She tried to laugh but it fell flat. She climbed the stairs back up onto the platform. She picked up all the little shards from the bottle, cleaning the glass off as best she could with her sleeve. It would stain the white material, but she didn't care. Before leaving, she leaned in and kissed the glass lightly, then was gone.

She dumped the shards of glass in the waste bin in her apartment. She pulled off the stained shirt that reeked of alcohol and threw it into some dark corner. The only source of light in the place was a fist sized sphere of glass set on a triangular stand. It had been a gift. To help her tell if it was day or night, he had made the small device for her. It was programmed to simulate sunlight or moonlight accordingly. By the weak glow she pulled on the oversized shirt (she had never returned it). She was slightly surprised to find that all her ice had melted in the freezer, but remembered that she had unhooked the thing days ago. It didn't matter, she thought, she didn't mind the pain. That and the cold steel of her bedroom wall would work just as well as the ice, or even better-it wouldn't melt. She might not even need it. She felt cold enough anyway. Inside and out.

-L&P-

The peaceful sensation stretched on and on. Time meant nothing anymore, just as it didn't in that place between awake and asleep. And it was in that in-between that he floated. Perfectly content to drowse in that blissful feeling that felt so right. He would have drifted away completely if it weren't for these little nagging feelings that would happen now and then. The first time it happened was the most annoying. It was some kind of racket going on, but it was muffled like it was coming from down a long tunnel. The more he tried to ignore it the louder it got. He immediately became tense the moment that the comforting feeling began to fade. He reached out and tried to pull it back with all his strength. Abruptly the noise stopped and all was well again.

Then there were several occasions where it felt like someone was trying to pull the sensation away from him, almost as if they were trying to sneak it away without his noticing. But he did, and fought even harder to hold on to the feeling. Soon those kinds of nagging interruptions ceased.

Then there was the oddest thing…He began to dream that Wolfwood was trying to talk to him. Vash had no idea what he was saying. The words were very faint, but they were rough, almost angry. The voice persisted and soon it became annoying. He batted the dream away, wanting no distractions from the sensation. After a few tries of wishing it away the voice stopped, and so the interruptions stopped. He could now sleep in peace.

But found that he couldn't.

Every time he would begin to drift away he stopped himself. He kept expecting some new disturbance and the anticipation of it kept him from completely losing himself in the light like he so desperately wanted. Soon the wait in itself began to annoy him. Regretfully, he sacrificed a small portion of that drowsy comfort for alertness. He had to listen closely to make sure that the irritating interruptions were truly over. If they weren't, he would fight with everything he had to hold on to this paradise. If they _were_ over…

He was expecting some sort of pesky racket or an attempt at theft but all he heard was a soft voice. It was so quiet he almost missed it. It wasn't irritating at all; actually it was kind of nice to hear, so he listened. He figured that it had to be another dream because it was so nice and made him fell…well sort of like he was feeling now. Wanting more, he focused more on what the voice was actually telling him.

He dimly realized that he was dreaming of Meryl and that she was talking to him. Some of the things she told him made him want to smile, other parts were sweet, but the overwhelming majority of the dream was heartbreakingly sad. He would have just batted away the dream like the other if it weren't for the sound of her voice. How could a voice that spoke such sad words still make him feel the way he did? He was getting confused, and stressed.

Soon, a new voice was thrown into the dream. It was Wolfwood's. As the tensions rose, the more troubled he became. He soon realized that they were fighting. He didn't want this, to hear this trouble. He wanted to go back to the other dream. No, that one had hurt too, but he didn't want to go back to the silence. Alone.

A sudden crash against the glass caused him to jump, the first actual physical reaction that he's had in days other than a slight smile or a grimace. That simple reflexive action, born of living in a world where such responses were vital, was enough to remind him that he indeed possess a body. Something that didn't exist in that hazy dream world. And such remembrance was enough to make him realize that he was actually awake and not dreaming. It wasn't a dream…

_It wasn't a dream!_

His eyes flew open and he drew in a harsh breath, like a swimmer coming up for air. The pure shock of it all caused the energy levels to fluctuate out of his control just as he couldn't control the hyperventilation that flared up. All of this was only made worse by his heart which decided to start up again at full speed. Through the panic something caught his attention. They were still out there, talking, fighting. He willed himself to calm down enough to hear what they were saying. It was horrible to have to listen to. Heartbreaking.

Vash wanted to call out to them but was still struggling to control his breathing. He wanted to fight against these monstrous restraints and cords but found that he was so weak. Shockingly weak. Wolfwood left and Meryl was approaching once more. He watched as her hazy figure picked up the mess, leaned in close for a moment then was gone. Gone, like she thought he was. What had he done? Even now he could feel the siren song begin to creep up on him. Angrily, he forced it away. No, he was more than angry, he was furious. How could he have let himself be deceived by such a manipulative and false paradise while the real thing was walking away?

The warm sensation abruptly faded away and except for the safety lights, the entire room fell into darkness. He struggled harder against the restraints, his anger fueling his strength. Being useless for running the machine, his left arm had been loosely tied back and its restraints were the first to snap. He quickly undid the thing around his neck, it seeming tighter now than it had days ago.

He couldn't quiet reach over to his other wrist; the straps around his midsection were holding him back. The buckles were behind him though, and he couldn't see to undo or reach all of them. Temper flaring again, he began kicking and pushing away from the machine, hoping to pull loose. His right arm came free, pulling the attachments and all away from the core. With some desperate squirming and one final push he fell free.

He landed at the bottom of the chamber with a hollow thud. It had been a longer fall than he had expected. He took a moment to wait until the pain in his head where he had hit it against the glass to subside then tried to get up. The whole experience was worse than being drunk. No one part seemed to want to move in coordination with any other, and he was still so weak. Using the glass as support, he stood and felt his way over to the door. It was sealed shut with no handle on the inside. Of course, Vash thought, pounding on the metal. He hit it harder but it wouldn't budge. He knew that since he had quit generating power that somebody would be by to check things out, and in a hurry. But he wanted out _Now_.

He stepped back and took aim at the glass around the door frame where it was the weakest and fired. The once dark silent room erupted into a shower of gunfire and glass. He staggered out, trying to avoid stepping on any of the broken glass, pulling the rest of the attachments off as he went. He knew that he would have some explaining to do about the mess he had just made, but that could wait. He had a much more pressing apology to make.

-L&P-

She had just settled into bed with her hand pressed against the soothing cool wall when she heard her door open. Meryl sighed, knowing what this was going to be about.

"Millie, I already know what you're going to say so please don't. I'll go apologize to him tomorrow but for right now I really need to be alone ok? I don't feel so good." There was no answer but the footsteps continued on inside. That girl never makes things easy, she thought. She's probably come in here to cry. Then Meryl had a thought. If Wolfwood had said anything upsetting or mean to her, she was going to do something a little more permanent than hit him, she fumed. She was shaken from her vindictive thoughts by a shifting on the foot of her bed and the sound of someone falling to the floor. Startled, she sat up to see who it was, then lost her breath. Unable to walk anymore, he had fallen to his knees, leaning on the bed for support.

"But you…I…" She stammered out, unable to believe who she was actually seeing.

"Sorry…tired…" Vash breathed out struggling to sit up, but couldn't. He had to content himself with turning to where he could look up at her while lying there. "Give…a minuet…Pushed myself…too quickly." She continued to stare at him in astonished silence for a moment then burst out into tears. She was off the bed and embracing him before he even had time to try and meet her. She held onto him for all she was worth, crying into his neck. Naturally this got him emotional as well and they stayed that way for a good long while, them both in tears and with an occasional 'sorry' thrown in whenever he could.

Finally, once she had calmed down enough to talk she asked him, "A-are you ok? What's wrong? Why can't you get up?"

"I think…I think it's from transiting back to normal after being like that for so long and from having so much energy pulled from me."  
"Are you going to be alright?"

"Yeah." He laughed. "Except for a bump on my head and feeling a little drained (no pun intended) I'm fine. I'm getting my strength back by the minuet. Let me see if I can stand now…Whoops, nope." He said as he nearly fell back to his knees. She caught him before he did.

"Wait awhile before you try that again. I don't want you to fall and hurt yourself." She said, helping him onto the bed. "In fact, you should probably lie down and try to get some rest."

"No!" He said more sharply than he intended, startling her. "Sorry, but no…Please don't let me fall asleep."

"Why, what's the matter?" She asked, unsettled by the urgency of his request.

"Because, I'm not completely over it yet. I'm afraid that if I go back to sleep I wont wake back up." He said quietly, looking away. How was he going to explain what happened? He was so ashamed of giving into the spell like he had. But even more so because of the suffering that he had put everyone through for it.

There was a moment of silence then a soft, "Ok." She reached up to him and began to brush his hair back up into place. "You're a mess." She picked at him. She still couldn't believe it. Not ten minuets ago he had been locked away forever. Now he was here. It just didn't seem real. She hoped it was real…

"Your hand…" He said taking it. He turned it over to see the bruise stretching across the knuckles.

"Yeah, uh, I…I hurt it earlier." She stammered blushing, unaware that he knew what had happened.

"Does it hurt?"

"A little, and I'm out of ice so…" She shrugged, trying to brush it off as nothing.

"Let me see if I can help." He said, then gently kissed the bruises. He looked up a moment later to see her silently crying. "Did I…"

"What happened? Why didn't you wake up? I thought that I would never see you again. Ever..."

"Oh Meryl, I'm so sorry." He said, drawing her close. "I would like to tell you that it wasn't my fault, but that would be a complete lie. When the machine turned on…Honestly I was scared. But it was nothing like I expected. Instead of hurting it was the most peaceful feeling. It just felt right. And I fell for it. I realize now why the plants sleep and why those we tried to set free never woke up. They didn't want to. They were meant to stay in that euphoric dreamlike state. To give them their own paradise while they were trapped inside so they would stay put and yet be happy. I was such a fool to fall into that trap."

"You didn't know…"

"But I heard everyone trying to get me out…Sure it was hazy, but I craved the sensation so badly that I ignored everything. Selfish huh?" He asked looking down at her. She didn't look back up.

"…No. I don't think so. I can't say that I wouldn't do the same thing. To escape the harsh cruel world and remain where it was safe and I was happy. It sounds nice…"

"But it was a lie. I only _thought_ I was happy. Being entrapped and alone for the rest of time sounds more like something from a scary book than a dream." This elicited a small chuckle from her. Good, he thought. Just please, no more tears.

"Did you know Vash…that in that thing, you quit breathing? That your heart actually stopped?" She quietly asked him. He sighed.

"Yeah, I kinda figured it out once everything started back up again. Scared the life out of me. I can't imagine how you all must have felt."

"Not good."

"Not good." He repeated quietly. "I can't even begin to say how sorry I am. So sorry. But I'm not leaving again. I promise you. And I'm ok, see? Feel…still beating. Please don't worry anymore. And please don't be so sad. I know you have every reason to be, but it's killing me. Please." He begged, holding her tighter.

"I know, I'm sorry." She said pulling away from him. "It's just that you've been gone for so long. Everybody was giving up on having you back. And I'm ashamed to say that I was the first one to give up. Real loving, huh?" She laughed humorlessly, looking away. He could practically see the guilt eating at her.

"You didn't give up on me. You only wanted what was best for me. You were the only one to respect my choice and you were going to stay with me even at your own expense. If that's not love I don't know what is."

"How do you know…"

"I heard everything you told me. It may have been like a dream but I still heard it." He smiled at her shocked silence. "Remind me to thank Wolfwood for his temper. It was that crash that woke me up in the first place. But it was you…" He said, taking her face gently in his hands and kissing her on the forehead. "It was you that made me want to wake up at all. And you want to know something else?...I love you."

"What?"

"I love you. You're the only reason I broke out of there. Perfect or not, I couldn't stand the thought of being trapped in there and not being able to be with you, to have you." He said kissing her on the forehead again.

"Do you know how long I've wanted you to tell me that?" She quietly asked him. He didn't answer her, he could guess. Instead he kissed her. Several long breathless moments later he told her again.

"I love you."

"Show me."

-L&P-

He peered through the doorway cautiously. The crew was busy picking up the broken glass and dismantling the machine. It would never be needed again, and had to be destroyed. They couldn't leave any evidence of what had been going on in the ship; it would be as if nothing ever happened. No one had spotted him yet, they were too absorbed in their individual tasks. He wanted to go in, but what if they were angry with him? He could just see it now…strolling on in, greeting everybody only to be met with scowls from every direction. He slowly backed away.

"They're not going to eat you." Meryl said pushing him on. "Just go. You'll have to do it sooner or later."

"Can I pick later?"

"_No_. You've already put if off for too long. Common. You can be such a baby, you know?" She picked at him, forcefully pulling him into the room. Several workers and a drowsy cat looked up and when they saw who it was they returned back to their work.

"See? It's not as bad as you were making it out to be."

"Umm…"

"I was wondering when you would drop by." A voice said from behind them, startling them both. It was the Doc.

"Sheesh, will you quit doing that? You're going to give me a heart attack one day." Vash fussed at him. Then fell into an uncomfortable silence as the little man looked up at him but said nothing. He fidgeted a little then said, "I, uh…I'm sorry about the mess I made…Umm. If you want I'll clean everything up. You guys don't have to worry about it. And…I guess that I have a whole lot to apologize for, huh?"

"Nonsense." The old man said simply to his surprise. "In fact, I want to hear nothing more of the incident. To do so would only stir up hurt and generate guilt. But one last comment about it though…I'm glad that your back." He said with a heartfelt smile.

"Yeah…Me too!" Vash laughed. Abruptly a brown haired tornado of laughter and tears, otherwise known as a Millie tackled him out of nowhere in a hug.

"Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! You're back! I've missed you so much, and I _hate_ you! Don't _ever_ do something like that to us again or you'll regret it! But I'm so happy that your baaaack!"

"I've…missed…you…too…" He managed while fighting for air through the death grip embrace. He tried to pry the crying woman off, but she wasn't going anywhere. Just before he turned blue she released him and turned to Meryl.

"How dare you know he was out and not tell us! That was so mean! Just for that I'm adding a new phase to my seven part revenge plan, so there!" She huffed, crossing her arms.

"Uhh…" Meryl was momentarily rendered speechless by this. Someone deliberately clearing their throat caught everyone's attention. Wolfwood was leaning against the doorway, arms crossed, and with an expression that could kill. He silently motioned for Vash to follow with one finger then left.

"I knew this was coming…" Vash said, slightly intimidated. "I suppose he has a few things to say to me that isn't appropriate for mixed company. Just in case I don't return…I love you and farewell!" He said theatrically, then followed.

They walked silently down the hall, Wolfwood a few paces ahead.

"Uhh…so where are we going?" Vash asked tentatively after a minuet or so.

"Balcony."

"You're not going to throw me off are you? Heehehe…"

"_No_." Wolfwood said sharply.

"ok…" Was the cowed reply. Once they were outside Wolfwood finally turned to look at him but said nothing, watching as his company shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other. Finally after several long moments he spoke up.

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"You know perfectly well what. You have some serious explaining to do about what happened back there."

"I know you're angry, you have every right to be…"

"Oh, I'm more than angry. In fact, I don't think I have a strong enough word in my vocabulary to explain what I feel right now. But I do know that angry doesn't even come close to cutting it."

"I'll admit I heard you trying to wake me up, but to my defense I thought it was just a dream."

"A _dream_? You thought that all the hell we went through to wake you up was just a dream!"

"Well…yes." Wolfwood looked as if he wanted to go off on a tirade, but controlled himself. After several long breaths he managed to calm down enough to speak.

"A dream huh? And what did you dream about?"

"Peace." Was the simple reply.

"Hmm." Was Wolfwood's cryptic response. He looked away for a moment, apparently going through some internal debate. Vash wanted to apologize, but wasn't sure that this was the right moment for it. It may only just set him off again, and he knew all to well that his friend had a tendency to become violent when angry. Especially with him.

Having made up his mind, Wolfwood marched towards him. Vash cringed, thinking that he shouldn't have waited to apologize after all. Instead of being hit, like he fully expected to be, he was hugged. He was completely taken aback.

"You deserve to have your ass kicked out across the desert, you bastard. But I'm just too glad to have you back to do it…Yet." Wolfwood threatened, and then released him. Vash was stunned for a moment then laughed, grabbing him in a hug of his own.

"I'm glad to see you too."

-L&P-

There was a soft knock at the door. Strange…they've never knocked before, Knives thought then shrugged it off. As if he cared. He didn't even bother to look up whenever the door opened.

"Uhh, hey in there." A hesitant voice said.

"It's about time you decided to grace me with your presence." Knives said, leafing through an utterly uninteresting book that he was planning on shredding later. "You took your sweet time."

"Sorry about that. I was…having some technical difficulties." Vash said, coming in and sitting down cross legged in the floor. It was a fairly small room, with steel bars running across it. There was a small free space when one would first walk into the room, then in the enclosed area behind the bars was a bed and other necessities. And the prisoner, of course. It was a typical cell, with poor lighting and no window.

"Technical difficulties huh?" Knives asked, refusing to look at him. "For four days?"

"Yeah. I'll tell you all about it later. Right now I just wanted to come by and see how you were doing."

"How dare you ask me that?" Knives snapped at him, instantly enraged. "How I am doing? What the hell did you do to me? Huh? I demand you tell me right now!"

"No."

"No? Your telling me _no_?"

"Yes I am. It's too soon to go into it, but I promise to tell you once you've calmed down some."

"I said tell me now, dammit! You won't tell me where you've been. You won't tell me what you've done. I've been locked in this damn room for days. I have a right to know what's going on! So you had better tell me or better yet, let me out, or I swear I'll…"

"Stop it! You know exactly why I can't let you out of here. You never would listen to me before but now you have no choice about it."

"What? Are you going to bore me to death? Don't even bother with your pointless philanthropist nonsense. Just tell me what you did to me!" Knives raged, throwing the dull book as hard as he could at him. It caught on the bars and fell harmlessly to the floor. Vash looked at it sadly.

"You're out of control Knives, it's awful. What happened to the person that I used to know?"

"Dead and gone." Knives snarled.

"Well I don't believe so. I've never believed it. I'm doing all of this because I want my brother back."

"Well I'm right here, now let me go!"

"No…You're not him. But I'll get him back."

"Utter nonsense. Everything that comes out of your mouth is nonsense. It's almost difficult to believe you're a plant."

"I want to make you understand that these people deserve to live too. It's true that some are bad, but most are good. I know a few of the best. I even love them. Please try to see that."

"Every single one of those inferior things needs to be destroyed, please try to see that." He mocked.

"…I would redefine your definition of inferior if I were you." Vash warned, becoming angry.

"Why?" Knives asked slowly. Something about his brother's tone didn't sit well with him. What did he mean by that?

"Because…without that power that you've abused so much, you're just the same as they are. Really we're all the same, just different in little ways. That's all."

"What are you saying…what did you do to me?" Knives asked, fear creeping into his voice. "TELL ME!"

"You left me no choice! I had to make sure you wouldn't hurt anyone anymore. Dammit Knives! Even with all your anti-human talk you've killed plants! You've tried to kill me. It wasn't about plant superiority; it's always been your own selfish desires. It had to stop! It took me decades to figure out a way to do it but I did, in spite of everything you've thrown at me! We drained away all of your power and I've engineered a way to make sure it never comes back. You're just like they are now. And in about fifty years or so you'll die just like they do. So if I were you I would rethink your opinions about humans because your now one of them!"

"…What…you…you…LIAR!" Knives screamed at him. "What you've done is utterly impossible! You're just trying to scare me into getting all sentimental towards those things. It's not true and I'll never believe it you bastard. Now tell me the truth!"

"If I'm lying then why don't you dig around in here and get the truth for yourself?" Vash asked, tapping the side of his head. Knives was quiet for a moment then flew into a rage. He swore, shouted, and did everything he could to try break through the bars and throttle his brother.

Worried that he would hurt himself if he kept it up for much longer, Vash decided that Knives had better be sedated before he worked himself up any further. With a sorrowful look back, he left the room. Without a word to the concerned and puzzled guards standing outside, he hit the switch by the door. The cell within quickly flooded with a drugged gas, and not long after there was a thud as the one inside passed out and fell. Vash peered through the rectangular window to make sure that he hadn't hurt himself.

He regretted loosing his temper like he had. It hadn't helped matters any. He remorsefully made a note to himself to apologize whenever he woke up. He knew he would have to control himself better in the future. But Knives was so…so…ahh, he didn't know what he was, but it was hurtful. The truth had to be told anyway, and Vash knew that the response he got for it would _not_ be a pretty one. Wolfwood had been right about that. But even still...

This lifelong dual of views had spanned through space and across the planet. But it as here that it was going to end. It was now just a matter of time now to see whose will would prove to be the strongest.


	8. Philosophy Clash

**A/n: **This is the lognest chapter yet, actually i could have divided it up into two...but i didnt wanna. And this is a chapter that many of you have been waiting for...Knives is awake and pissed. Also...(for my few readers :) i am throwing a little just for fun contest in this chapter. There are many little quotes scattered throughout this chapter. Most are apparent...but one is hidden. Whoever can guess the hiddent quote (you'll know it by its name) will get a shiny gold dounut and mentioned in my next a/n. If no one can guess, i'll revieal it after the epi. Enjoy!

**Chapter Eight:**

**Philosophy Clash**

"Common Knives…you can't ignore me forever. Can you please just talk to me? I don't care if it is just one syllable at a time, please say something." Vash pleaded with him. Knives remained stubbornly silent, back turned to him, as he had been for the past six days. He was refusing to eat, talk, or show any indication that he was something other than part of the furniture. "Pleeeeese? I even have a question for you. Hmm? Curious yet? It's a really interesting one…I'm not going to tell you what it is unless you say something…No? Not curious. Ok, lemme think…Oh, wait. I have two questions for you. Although I doubt that you would know the answer to the second one, you probably haven't eaten any fish lately. Or ever…that depends on the answer. Wait…I've confused myself…"

"If I talk to you some will you just shut the hell up and go away?" Knives asked in a tired exasperated tone, still refusing to turn around.

"Well it's about time you've said something! You were starting to get me worried." Vash said, practically cheering. Knives huffed.

"And why would you worry about me?" Knives asked in a lazy voice.

"Well because were brothers for starters. And I care about you."

"Now that's quite the amusing lie."

"Hey…"

"On both accounts. The thought of you caring about me is absolutely laughable. And the implication that we are brothers is equally absurd."

"How mean of you to say."

"Mean? Ha. If either of those statements were true you wouldn't have abandoned me, caged me, and done that unspeakable act to me."

"You're one to talk. How hypocritical. You've hurt me how many times now? And now that I've stood up to you and defended myself I'm a traitor? Where's your logic in that?'

"As I recall it was you who drew first blood. You shot me and ran off. For all you knew I could have bled to death out there. Did you even look back? Once?"

"Of course I did. I didn't want to leave you but I wasn't about to become a weapon of genocide. And _I_ drew first blood? I seem to recall on several occasions that you beat me. Once again, hypocritical."

"Whatever."

"Well it's true! I take your abuse for years and years and once I stand up for myself you act like its some unforgivable sin. You're being very unfair about this Knives."

"You've betrayed me. Not once, not twice, but countless times. You can preach all you want but your conveniently leaving out loyalty in your sermon."

"Loyalty? You mean only to you. What about loyalty to me Knives? Or do you not see me as an equal? Am I just some tool to you that's malfunctioned and needs to be destroyed? You say you're against humans, but you've turned on me just as violently as you had them. Worse, even. You postponed your quest to exterminate them just so you could get revenge on me. I suppose I'm kinda thankful for this in a weird sort of way, but what did I do to make you hate me so much? And don't use that incident with the gun as an excuse; it was there long before that. You kept me with you but you were always so…you…Just please tell me what I did. Why do you hate me?"

"Get out. You're getting on my nerves. I said I would talk and now I'm done, so go."

"But Knives…"

"I said get out." He said coldly and refused to say anymore. After a while of unsuccessfully trying to get him to talk, Vash finally gave up for now and left. He tried to feel encouraged that he had gotten Knives to talk some, but he was left feeling emptier than he had when his brother would refuse to say anything at all. What was he going to do? Knives was being childish and unreasonable about all of this but he was _better_ than to act like that. He was hiding something from him, some hidden fire for his hatred. And judging from his actions, some of that fire had been started by Vash himself. But how could he even begin to make things right if he didn't even know what he had done wrong. Why? Why? _Why_? He resolved to ask him tomorrow. What started this, all of this? And _whatever_ he had done wrong, he had added another definite reason for his brother to hate him. What was he going to do…?

"What's with that look?" Wolfwood asked him as he walked out onto the balcony where everyone was having lunch.

"Just Knives." He muttered, sitting down off by himself.

"Still nothin huh?"

"No, he talked to me this time."

"What did he say!" The girls asked simultaneously.

"Basically that he hates me and considered everything that's happened my fault. That's all."

"You're not saying that he actually believes this, are you?" Meryl asked him, who in return nodded in agreement. "Where does he get off with saying nonsense like that? For all his high talk he's behaving like a four year old who's pouting because he didn't get his way."

"Amen." Wolfwood agreed.

"How…bratish! I have half a mind to go tell him that he needs to grow up and act his age."

"Now that's an image." Wolfwood chuckled. Vash shot him a dirty look.

"He's hiding something from me. And really, how is he supposed to act? Everything he's built his life on has been swept out from under his feet. He's feeling lost. And betrayed."

"Your going to have to quit being so soft on him. If anything he should feel lucky that nothing worse was done to him. Or heck, be angry. But no, he's sulking and needs to get back to reality instead of the little illusion world that he's built for himself." Wolfwood satiated as a matter of factly.

"That's the thing though. He is smarter than that. He's always been the factual logical one. He never did like bedtime stories because they weren't real. He knows how what he's saying sounds, but he's holding the missing pieces that we can't see all to himself. He won't tell me."

"Does he even have to?" Meryl asked him. "Can't you just do the whole physic thing and find out for yourself?"

"No. I won't invade his privacy like that. I never could stand it when he did it to me, so I refuse to do it to him."

"But what if it helps out, hmm? It sure would speed things along." Wolfwood tempted.

"No, that would be defeating the purpose of what I'm trying to do. I could force him to do whatever I wanted but it wouldn't change the fact that he's the same on the inside. It would do far more harm than good. I want Knives to choose to be different, not be coerced."

"I didn't say force him to do anything. I meant see what he's hiding."

"No. That would just be betraying his trust even further."

"Then how are you going to do this?"

"I have no idea and its killing me…" Vash agonized, hiding his face in his hands. Faced against the cold blue stare he felt at loss. And even…a little guilty. Was Knives telling him the truth or was he simply manipulating him? He didn't know. He didn't know what to do. Meryl took pity on the forlorn figure and came over to sit beside of him.

"Nothing will change all at once, so don't try to worry about it all at once. Just take it as it comes, one day at a time. Like you said, you can't force him. Just be there for him. Its all you can do."

"Yeah…The only reason he said anything to me today was to get me to shut up." Wolfwood laughed. Meryl fought hard to repress the smirk.

"Look on the bright side…he did actually say something. It's a start. And who knows? Maybe tomorrow he'll say a little bit more. And after that…"

"Your right! Gotta stay positive!" Vash said, trying to psych himself up. "And maybe some junk food to bribe him wouldn't hurt either."

"Junk food?'

"Oh yeah you don't know. He'll never admit it but he has more of a sweet tooth than I do."

"Huh…I would have never figured." Meryl mused.

"Well you just name it and we'll cook it!" Millie announced, overjoyed to have a hand in Knives'es reformation. "And maybe it's just what it would take to get him to start eating!"

"Hmm…what was his favorite? Let me think…"

-L&P-

This was insufferable. Completely and utterly insufferable. Knives would have preferred outright cruelty than this pretense of compassion and caring. That and the utter indignity of being held captive like this. Knives rolled over enough to glare at the guard standing by the door. The man squirmed uncomfortably under his gaze. Good. At least one thing around here had some sense. He turned back over to face the cold unyielding wall. Although it agonized him to even admit it to himself, he felt so helpless. Blind. Having the power pulled away from him was leaving its mark. Although more psychologically than physically. He couldn't feel any other presence; he couldn't reach out and connect with the others anymore. Never again. He felt so alone. On the heels of these feelings fiery rage washed over him.

How dare they…how dare he! His brother practically tears him apart and still has the nerve to say that he cares about him. Nonsense. But then again Vash never did make much sense. Defective perhaps? Either way, Knives, although reluctantly, had to give credit where credit was due. There was nothing here he could possibly use to escape and he was kept under constant surveillance. He was completely at his brother's mercy. He didn't expect him to actually have it in him to keep him under such tight security. Bravo, Knives thought bitterly. The only reason he was kept under such a paranoid watch was to protect those things. Vash was a fool if he believed that he could convince him that humans were worthwhile.

Human nature…

The way that term was so callously thrown around was disgusting. Whenever confronted with their shortcomings, their flaws, their evils, they would simply attribute it to human nature and move on. As if that simple label made everything acceptable. As if they honesty expected nothing different from themselves. As if they could be any different! That, Knives supposed, was what enraged him the most about that wrenched species. He didn't have anything against sandworms, vultures, and so forth. That was because death and destruction was in their nature. It was all they knew, all they did, honest and simple. But humans…their (ha) intelligence was what set them apart. The very fact that they were sentient made them detestable. They had all the capacity to rise above their primal instincts yet they used their abilities to amply those urges. Ever more efficient and creative ways of murder. Scarring the land to indefinitely mark human territory that was continuously expanding. The mass production and harvesting of other life forms just for consumption. And the creation of an infinite amount of utterly pointless and vile ways to pass the time. How like an invading parasite they were. And to top it off they put on a thin veil of morals and higher behavior to drop in an instant then be put back on when they need to feel better about themselves and what they do.

How disgusting. And Vash had accused him of hypocrisy? Nonsense. Why could he not see that? Vash, better than Knives himself, should know of their flawed and destructive nature. What was it that kept him coming back? Vash had said that he stood against and fled from him to save himself, but why not the same with the humans? Knives was certain it wasn't because Vash didn't value him, the time and effort he was putting into him was proof enough of that. Then what was it? Why run from him and not them? Why cage him and not them? He was getting angry puzzling this over.

"Hey you." Knives said, rolling over. The guard froze, uncertain of what to do. "Yeah you. What makes you so great, huh?"

"Uhh…"

"If you are capable of forming a coherent sentence I would like to know…which would you prefer, logically: betrayal and pain or betrayal and pain but on a mass scale?"

"I, umm….the first. Or better yet…neither."

"Thank you. Even your most basic logic proves my point. Go back to mindlessly staring off into space." Knives said, rolling back over. This was promising to turn into quite the philosophical battle. Logically, he couldn't be competed with. But then again, Vash always behaved in an illogical manner. Debate aside, he had more important things to think about other than his brother. Namely, how to restore himself back to normal.

Vash had said that he had been drained and that his power would never return. An inhibitor? No, too easily dealt with. No…it had to be on a cellular level because his death had already been forecast. A mere loss of power would not cause that. The thought of being so manipulated on the most personal of levels, his essential being, left an unsettled feeling in his stomach. It was the worst wrong that could have been done to him. Knives would never forgive him for this. Even if Vash miraculously changed his mind and saw things Knives'es way, he was still dead. Knives would regret the loss but this was unforgivable. He was too much like them anyway. Too willing to betray his own kind, his own brother for creatures that were eventually going to kill him. Yes…certainly defective.

Very well, he would play along with this battle of morals and ideals. At least until he found out what he needed to do to save himself from a slow rotting death. From there it would almost be too easy to prey upon his brother's sentimental side and get him to release him. Then…freedom. Not just for him, but for the others too.

There was a knock at his door. Again already, Knives thought irritably. No one else knocked. If Knives didn't know Vash better he would think that it was meant to be a stinging reminder of his helplessness. But that just wasn't in Vash'es nature. Still, it irked him. Knives remained facing the wall, refusing to answer. Vash came in with his usual hesitant greeting. The in room guard left, immensely grateful to be out of there.

"Hey there." Vash said, sitting down in his usual spot on the floor.

"Back so soon? And what do I owe the honor of this visit?"

"I brought you something!" Vash said happily. Knives huffed his disinterest. Immediately after, the scent of freshly baked brownies reached him. Reflexively he sat up and looked around. "They're still hot…" Vash tempted holding an entire plate of the chocolate sweets. Knives stared for a moment then turned back over angrily, embarrassed by his reaction. He futilely tried to shut his stomach up that had begun roaring at the scent of food.

"I know you want one." Vash teased. Then unable to say no himself he picked up one and began to eat it. Knives scowled at the wall. Three times know he had been knocked unconscious and force fed. It was humiliating. He detested eating, but no longer able to sustain himself, he hand no choice about the matter if he wanted to continue living. And he had to live, he had his plan.

"Fine." Knives spat, getting up. "But just one." He sat down on the floor opposite to Vash, the bars separating them.

"I knew you couldn't say no to chocolate." Vash said, holding out the plate for him.

"Humph." Knives huffed, taking one. He studied it for a moment. It looked alright. It didn't smell poisoned.

"Its going to get cold you know."

"I will eat it when I so choose." Knives snapped. "Being as clumsy as you are I'm surprised that these aren't burnt."

"Oh I didn't make them, the girls did." Vash said, then promptly received the dessert in his face. "Hey! What was that for?" He whined, wiping himself off.

"You know exactly what for! I refuse to eat anything touched by those things."

"I'm sure they washed their hands…"

"…You're absolutely infuriating, do you know that?"

"They're not drugged or anything." Vash said, picking another for himself. "I'm fine."

"You…you…" Knives let out a frustrated growl. Patience, he reminded himself. You have to string him along, remember? Running him off will not tell you what you need to know.

"What?" Vash asked innocently. Unfortunately Knives didn't feel too patient at the moment.

"Just…go. Please. Come back in a few minuets. Come back in a few hours. I don't care. But you…are driving me Crazy. So just go."

"Alright." Vash said quietly, but inside he was cheering. Knives hadn't said anything too mean this time, and he had actually said please! O happy day!

"Well?" Knives impatiently snapped.

"I'm going, I'm going." Vash said. "I'll just leave these here." He sat the brownies within arms reach down on the napkins he had brought along and took the plate with him. Even though he would be guarded, Knives wouldn't be presented an opening for suicide on his watch.

With a stony expression Knives watched as he left. Slowly his gaze crept down to the brownies then quickly averted away, then back. He looked at the little window of his door. No one watching. He looked back down to the treats. To the door. No one.

…

They were his _dammit_! He though lunging for them and enjoying every bite.

-L&P-

"Good morning Knives." Vash said coming in and sitting down.

"Go away." Was the snappy reply from the bed. Knives had his back towards him. As usual.

"I just came in, what did I do to upset you already?"

"I don't feel good and I don't feel like putting up with you so go away." Knives said, waving him away.

"What's wrong? Are you aright?" Vash asked, immediately worried.

"Don't have a fit it's just a stomach ache, that's all." After a long moment of unsuccessfully trying to hold it in Vash burst out into laughter. Indignant, and somewhat confused, Knives rolled over to face him.

"And why is that funny?"

"You've had too much junk food. You really need to start eating." He said, trying to calm down before he stirred up Knives'es temper.

"I _was_ planning to eat this morning instead of throwing it back at that human but I wasn't feeling so well. I'll just eat later."

"Really?"

"Really what?" He asked, confused.

"You're going to eat."

"That is what I just said."

"Wow…"

"_What_?" Knives shouted, sitting up.

"I just didn't expect you to eat willingly, that's all." Vash said defensively.

"Well don't act so astonished about it. It's either eat or die and I refuse to give those things the satisfaction of knowing that they won."

"It's not a competition you know. Everybody here has worked hard and been very patient on your account."

"Don't give me that. They only did what they did to eliminate a threat to themselves. It's simply the way they are. Human nature…" He spat.

"That's not true. And you should believe me Knives. Out of us both of I have more experience with human nature so I should know. They are not the primal instinctive driven things that you are making them out to be."

"You're a blind fool if you believe such nonsense."

"Why can't you accept that I'm not stupid and that I actually know what I'm talking about?"

"You're blinded by your sentimentality towards those things. Just because you were affectionate towards Rem you think that you have to hold feelings for them all."

"You say that as if emotions are bad."

"Just pointless."

"Pointless? What is life without emotions? You might as well be a machine."

"Better than a fool."

"If you honestly believe this why do you even choose to stay alive? If you have nothing, no joy only empty coldness then why?"

"Purpose! Emotions are pointless. A waste of time. Only the drive of purpose is worthwhile. That and the need of self preservation. I cannot truly live while those things are alive."

"They have the same need to live Knives. Why don't they deserve a chance?"

"Because they are a threat! If something threatens ones life you either avoid it or destroy it. And there are far too many of them to avoid."

"You act like every single one of them is out for blood! If they were truly like that they would have snuck in and killed you by now."

"They haven't yet but every single one of them has the capacity to be the killing selfish animals that will do anything to guarantee their survival. And as a separate and superior species we are their key threat. They despise what is different and eradicate those that are. Even amongst themselves! Wars have been fought over it."

"You can't live in fear like that. That's not living." Vash said sadly.

"I'm not afraid!"

"When you look around all you see is danger."

"Because it's true!"

"Then how am I alive? Even after living amongst those 'monsters' for so long?"

"Because you are a superior being. But even that has barely saved you."

"I'm not superior, just different. That and on countless occasions I was facing death and have been saved by those very people that you hate."

"That's only because they thought you were one of them."

"Not every time."

"If you're referring to the priest, he was only helping you on my orders."

"I don't believe so, not every time anyway. And there have been others."

"For selfish reasons I'm sure."

"_No_. It was out of goodness."

"Name the person and occasion, and I'll give you the true reason."

"Now how would you know the true reason? You weren't there."

"I can easily tell logically and by deduction because I'm not blinded by sentimentalism."

"No just cynicism."

"Too afraid to face the truth?"

"Likewise Mr. Emotions are pointless. You have a lot of hate and fear for someone who professes to shun emotions." At being called fearful Knives was furious beyond forming coherent words. "Alright then." Vash said, rising to his brother's challenge. "Wolfwood's helped me out on numerous occasions, but you already know about those. The girls have helped and saved me numerous times. Both before and after they learned what I was. And for you information, after they knew I was a plant they loved me as much as they ever had. Then there was Brad. He knew what I was. He even hated me but he still gave up his life to save mine."

"You'll forgive me if I don't know who you're talking about. One spider is the same as the next."

"_No_, they're not alike. Each one is special and unique. They are as different from one another as you and I are to each other."

"Hff. I don't see why you take the time to get attached, they just die off anyway. You can't keep them."

"I have no desire to _keep_ them. Just be with them. And yes, their life is lost all too easily. All life is, even ours. It takes so much struggle to stay alive but life is ridiculously easily taken. Therefore all life should be valued."

"Don't you dare place me in the same class as those lower life forms. I'm better than that."

"All it would take is one Knives." Vash said grimly, drawing his gun and aiming directly at his brother. "One bullet and you're lost forever. Genetics, intelligence, strength, it all means nothing in the face of death. That's where we all are equal. We all will die." He said, lowering the gun. "You can run from it, postpone it, fight it, but one day we all will fall. You and I are no exception."

"Thoughts like that are a little dark for you." Knives mused, humouredly. Completely unfazed at having a gun pointed at him.

"As much death as I've seen I can't avoid reflecting on it now and then. And if I have learned anything from the struggle of life and death in the wastelands while you've been safely tucked away in some ship is that life is valuable in all forms."

"The notion that all life can coexist without destroying one another is naïve and impossible." Knives scoffed.  
"No its not. Life will be lost, I know that's inevitable, but that does not mean that it has to be eradicated."

"You're not looking at this logically; you're looking at it emotionally. Lower species prey upon one another to survive, humans are no exception, they need to eat after all. But we are exempt from that law of nature we do not need any other organism to survive. The lives of everything else are only sustained by death and destruction. How can you with your ideals support such life forms? If you truly wanted to keep peace you would help me support the race that does not need the blood of others to survive. But yet you support humans who will only bring forth pain and destruction for themselves and for others as long as they exist."

"Do you believe that the ends justify the means?" Vash asked quietly.

"Yes. You do not?"

"No. What you say is true, to a degree anyway. If plants were the only race then there wouldn't be any need for violence to stay alive, but violence would be there anyway."

"And why is that?" Knives asked cynically.

"Because we would all be individuals, we would have free will. Accidents will happen…differences will arise…different points of view would inevitably lead to bloodshed."

"For one who spouts off that love and peace nonsense you don't seem to believe in it very much. Confused?"

"What I'm trying to say is that as long as there are differences there will be disagreements. How far it will be taken will be completely dependent on the individuals involved. Look at what we've done to each other after all."

"Hff."

"The only way to live without conflict is to be the _only_ living thing. But what would be the point in living then? The ends do not justify the means; there would be peace then but at too great a price."

"You're taking this example a bit too far. But if you don't believe that true peace can be obtained while there are others why do you even strive for such ideals? It sounds to me that you are a walking mass of contradictions. You preach one thing and do another. You strive for the impossible yet you freely admit the impossibility. Do you even know what you are living for or are you just caught up in a whirlwind of emotion without any grounding in reality?"

"Yes and no. I know an Eden is impossible but yet it's worth striving for, sentimental and idealistic or not. Its worth dying for. And what about you? What are you living for Knives? Lets suppose you got what you wanted. No humans, nothing but plants. What would you do then? You've made your opinion clear about emotions and such preferring to stick to cold realistic logic. What would you do then? What would be the point of having everything you've wanted if you refuse to enjoy it?"

"With every threat gone I could afford to enjoy the peace. To do so now would only mean death."

"I'm not dead. And there will never be no threat to life. That is the price of living. Why can't you just enjoy life now, while you still have it?"

"Because I can't rest knowing those filthy things are running loose! Could you sleep lying down in a nest of spiders? I think not! You've already been bit, what's it going to take to open your eyes!"

"Were not bugs Knives, were people, and your doing what exactly some of them do."

"I am nothing like them!" He shouted, pressing against the bars.

"To make the evils they do more acceptable they dehumanize one another. Killing a person is wrong but killing a monster is justifiable, laudable even. Using and manipulating each other is wrong but there is no issue if they are just things. By twisting around the truth in their own minds people sin through lies."

"I know the truth! Every single of them need to die! The imperfect evil things."

"And you, just because you were hurt by one you are trying to make them all into monsters to be disposed of because you're afraid it will happen again."

"Get out now! I don't care if I rot away in this cell, don't ever want to see you again! Ever! I hate you. I've always hated you and I can't wait until the day one of us dies so I'll finally be rid of you!"

"You don't mean that…"

"Don't act like you care about me! You prefer them over me, always have! I've always been alone. You're a hundred and thirty years too late to act like I mean anything to you so get out!"

"But Knives…"

"OUT!"

-L&P-

Wolfwood walked out across the sand towards the sounds of gunfire. It wasn't rapid hectic gunfire as if a firefight was going on. It was periodic, the sound of someone shooting for recreation. Or as a way to release frustration. Slowly a red figure came into sight. Vash had his back towards him, shooting at some unseen targets that were beyond Wolfwood's vision. The gunman emptied out another round of bullets then dumped the shells out in the sand. There was already quite a littering of them at his feet.

"I take it that you're frustrated?" Wolfwood asked, walking up beside of him.

"What makes you say that?" Vash asked coolly, slowly loading the gun one bullet at a time.

"Because you out here taking it out on whatever's out there instead of who you really want to."

"I don't want to hurt him Wolfwood."

"Exactly. That's why you're out here so that you won't hurt him."

"Hmm." Vash said cryptically. He took aim and slowly emptied out six more rounds.

"So…what did he do to piss you off so badly?"

"He has the nerve to call me childish yet he's the one who is refusing to talk to me. And whenever I do come around he throws things at me…" He fell into muttering something, that Wolfwood was quite certain involved some profanities, and in half a moment emptied out another six rounds. "I'm out." He said, holstering the gun.

"Here." Wolfwood said, offering his gun. "There's only nine in it, but you need it."

"Thanks." Vash said, then took aim again.

"By the way, what are you shooting at? I can't see anything."

"That's because there's nothing there."

"Ah." Wolfwood said knowingly.

"I don't know what to do Wolfwood. He won't talk to me, he won't listen to me. I just don't know what to do."

"Just keep trying. Snare him in a conversation. Or just keep on. Whether or not he replies, he still has to listen. And I bet he's acting that way because he knows your right and doesn't know how to argue with you. It's annoying. I know."

"Hmm."

"Or how about you give the whole love and peace thing a break for a while? Just talk with him, see what he's been up to, or how he's been. He's your brother for God's sake and it's been how long since you've seen each other, much less talked to one another? I don't have any family to speak of. I'm not saying that I envy you, good lord no…you can keep him. But I guess what I'm trying to say is that you have all of us, but who does he have? Just you. So give the preaching a break for a while and just talk to your brother. Ask him questions. Even if is about murder and his pets the Gung-Ho Guns, talk to him."

"If I can get him to talk. I'm so mad at him but I'm also hurt. I feel sorry for him. There is so much that life has to offer but he refuses to see any good. Nothing but pain and anger for so long…"

"Then cheer him up. If you can't get him to talk…tell him about the good things in life. Either way...nothing will get done out here in the desert."

"Your right. Here." Vash said handing back Wolfwood's gun. "Let's go on back. And wish me luck."

"And patience."

"Are you kidding? I'm patient."

"Yeah right! Have you seen yourself before dinner? Or lunch? Or…"

"_Ok_…you've made your point. But I'll have you know that I…" The two of them bickered and joked all the way back to the ship.

-L&P-

Vash entered, without knocking this time, and sat down in his customary spot in the floor. Knives refused to roll over and see who it was, but as time pass by the tenser he got. Eventually curiosity got the better of him and he turned to look. Upon seeing his brother sitting in the floor, Knives scowled and rolled back over. Still Vash did not speak. Time passed on.

An hour passed and eventually Knives'es patience snapped. "_What_. Do you _want_?"

"Just to talk with my brother, that's all."

"Damn you." Knives muttered.

"It's been so long since the two of us have been together. Too long. And without fighting. I miss talking with you. Not debating, not arguing, just…talking."

"Hff."

"There is so much I want to ask you. And so much I want to tell you too. I've been busy the past hundred years. The last thirty have been particularly busy. I have such stories to tell you, and things that I've observed over the years that I want to puzzle over with you about. My friends are great, but I can't talk with them about the some of these things like I do with you. Not even the Doc would understand. For example…the procedure to pull the power out of you required more power than the two plants here could provide." This caught Knives'es attention. He rolled over on his back, and propped himself up on one arm and listened.

"You provided the extra power, didn't you?"

"Yes. Believe me; I would have rather of not have. I'm not…experienced…with that sort of thing like you are. I don't know how it works, or generally anything about it, and I really don't want to know. But about that I had no choice about the matter." Knives scowled at this. "I kept thinking that it would be awful, like the angel arms…"

"You fell into the spell, didn't you? Dammit Vash, that's what you get for messing with stuff your completely ignorant about."

"I know, I know…Have you ever…"

"Absolutely not. I anticipated such a thing. And made sure that I would _Never_ fall into that spell of servitude." Vash looked away, embarrassed. "So tell me…how did you recover from it? It's supposed to be permanent, but then again it wasn't designed for those with free will and memories. Ahh…I see now…Those technical difficulties you spoke of…you were still trapped."

"Yeah I was. And I still would be trapped in there if it wasn't for my friends. Meryl especially." Knives raised an eyebrow, but said nothing. "Other than Wolfwood, do you know about them?" He tentatively ventured.

"…No. Just that you have had two females in your company for quite some time, for reasons I don't care to know."

"Not like that." He said, exasperated. "Do you…want to know about them? They're the ones who have saved my life a bunch of times. They know all about the seeds ship and that we are plants. That and they have risked their lives for me and in a way for you too."

"Do I actually have a choice about this?" Knives asked sarcastically.

"Yes, you do. If you don't want to hear about them right now I won't say anything yet. But I would like to know what you do want to talk about. Anything at all. Just name it." Knives was quiet for several long moments. Vash began to wonder if he was actually thinking of something to talk about of if he was just clamming up on him again. He prayed it wasn't the second one.

"Go ahead. Tell me about them. You keep going on about these people. I'm curious about what you think is so great about them." He finally said. He said 'people' not 'monster' or 'spider' or any of his various other euphemisms for humans. Hooray! "Well…"

"Ok, well uh…lets start with Millie. You haven't seen her yet I don't think. She's on the tall side and has a really big heart. Some people might call her naïve, but she's just happy and willing to look for the best in everyone, even if they don't see it in themselves. All in all she's one of the best people I have ever met. Oh! I forgot to tell you, she and Wolfwood are engaged."

"Fascinating."

"Wolfwood's done a lot of changing himself. He laughs more, he's more open. He's still a little cranky, but I think it's mostly out of mischievousness. Or sleepiness. Or maybe it's just me…"

"Do you think you could get to something interesting? You're boring me." Knives said flatly.

"Sheesh your cranky today. And then there's Meryl. Now that I think about it…you two have similar tempers."

"Hff."

"Although she's never angry with me anymore. Not unless I deserve it anyway, Or when I work her up just to watch her go." He snickered. The flat look he was receiving was enough to sober him up. "…You don't look like you're too interested with them at the moment." No change in expression. "_Ok_, so I'm rambling and not dong too good of a job. I'll just start from the beginning so you can learn about them and know what I've been up to all at the same time. Kay?"

From that very first meeting on the hillside, Vash began to tell his brother everything that has went on in his life the moment those two had walked into it, and shortly after Wolfwood as well. As he told of one adventure after another he closely watched the reactions he got from Knives. For the most part Knives managed to keep an aloof, disinterested expression. But every now and then, unwillingly, an emotion would slip through. Anger, disgust, dry amusement, and sometimes the mildest of interest as to what would happen next. Anyone else under different circumstances would have been angered by the poor response from their audience, but not Vash.

The fact that Knives was _actually_ listening to him without telling him to shut up or go away or scoffing and was actually showing some response to his account was nothing short of miraculous in his eyes. It offered him a measure of hope, a hope that had been wearing thin. Naturally he left out a few parts of the story or only mentioned them in passing. Some he knew that Knives already knew and he didn't want to stir up his vindictiveness by telling how he overcame his brother's cruelties. And other parts he left out because he didn't want to bring forth his wrath with how close he had gotten to them all. One in particular. He would save that nightmare of a conversation for another day. After he had finished telling Knives everything a silence fell over the room as his brother remained quiet.

"Well…" Vash ventured, hoping that he would say something. He would welcome anything, even swearing, just not the silent treatment anymore.

"Well what?" Knives asked.

"Nothing to say?"

"Is there something to say? I don't see what you need from me."

"Your kinda confusing me…"

"Why do you even bother coming here? You have those things to keep you company. And you've made it clear that you prefer their company over mine."

"Please don't start this again." Vash begged, wanting to avoid that argument.

"You say that being with them has been the best thing that's ever happened to you, but from what I've seen and heard they're just more trouble than their worth."

"You talk like being around them was supposed to be some kind of chore."

"Not a chore, but in your eyes a necessity. Or more simply put, you had no choice. Your actions and reasoning's are becoming a little more clear to me now."

"Huh?"

"You stayed with the humans cause couldn't handle being along. You couldn't survive on own and needed them to stay alive."

"It's not like I was going to keel over without them but I just didn't want to be alone anymore."

"You were with me." Knives pointed out, with an edge to his voice.

"And yet I was still alone. Ever since we've landed on this planet you've kept me at a distance. And I admit, some people can be a hassle to deal with but not everyone. Some people, like Millie, just open up to you and accept you as a part of their lives. Almost as if it's always been that way. You…you confuse me."

"And you annoy me. I've had just about as much as I can tolerate of you today. Leave."

"Alright. But when I come back I want you to tell me some things too. I've been doing all the talking."

"You've always been a talker. And when you come back bring some reading material with you. It gets dull with only that mindless guard to intimidate for entertainment."

"Books? Why? You'll just turn them into confetti."

"Your point?"

"Ok then. Hmm…maybe I've just been giving you the wrong kind of books to read. Oh I know! How about a good romance novel? There's nothing better than watching the two characters find their true love and live happily ever after. Hmm?" Vash teased. The acidic flat stare he received drove him from the room faster than any words could have.

-L&P-

Meryl woke up and stretched for a long moment. After a night of plotless pointless dreams she was glad to be awake again. Judging from the light of the little simulator it was still quite early so she didn't bother untangling herself from the blankets. Instead she rolled over to face the person she was sharing the bed with.

He was laying with his back to her. The slow rhythmic rise and fall of his chest told her that he wasn't awake yet. Always choosing to give her the greater share of the blankets (having no need of them himself), he was largely uncovered. The stretch of bare skin gave her a free view of his scars as well. On more than one occasion, alright, nearly every time she saw them, she wanted to ask him about them. Each one held a story, and any story involving him she wanted to hear. But out of respect and fear of digging up painful memories, she kept silent.

A brief but honest reassurance to him that she did not mind was all they ever discussed on the topic. But despite her assurance, she could tell that he still felt uncomfortable about it. The way he grew uneasy when she looked or hesitated when her fingers trailed over one of the many areas told her so. But now that he was asleep she could look all she wanted without worrying about hurting his feelings.

Some were…awful. She wondered how he could have survived some of those injuries. She wondered who all had been there to take care of him. How many did he have to tend to himself? The thought of him suffering and alone was almost enough to bring tears to her eyes. But he wasn't alone that time, for that scar, she thought reaching out and lightly touching his side. She had bandaged that one herself. She remembered trying to keep steady so as not to hurt him any further despite the jostling of the out of control stand steamer. And this one, she thought, trailing up to his shoulder. She was so afraid that he wouldn't survive that time, he had been so pale. And this one…

"Can't sleep?" A drowsy voice asked, startling her. She quickly drew her hand back.

"How can you tell?"

"Because you're awake." He said rolling over.

"I didn't wake you did I?" She asked, fighting a blush at being caught.

"Nah, don't worry about it." He said drawing her close to him. After several quiet minuets she thought that he had fallen asleep again but he quietly spoke up.

"You didn't have to flinch away. I didn't mind."

"Sorry. It was just a reflex at getting caught. I didn't think that you were awake."

"Getting caught? You felt you had to sneak to touch me?" He asked, puzzled. He drew back some to look down at her.

"Yes and no." She said guiltily. "I didn't want to upset you."  
"Upset…Oh, you mean those." Her heart fell at the sad tone of his voice. "Just remind me and I'll keep covered up. So you don't…"

"Now why would I want you to do that?" She asked him, sitting up.

"Uhh…"

"I've told you before and I'll tell you again, I don't mind them. In fact, I kinda like them."

"You _do_?"

"Yes. Despite what you think I think I think, I don't see your scars and think 'how ugly'. No. I see them and think of the sacrifices you've made, your ideals. I want to know the story behind each one. I wonder how many lives were saved when you got this one, or this. I don't see scars; I see physical proof of everything that makes you a beautiful person. Therefore, in a way, I think they're beautiful too."

He was speechless. And deeply touched. She chuckled softly as he struggled to try and find something to say. She had mercy on him and just covered his mouth with her hand. "Shh. I wanted to bring this up with you sooner but I didn't want to upset you or say anything that would hurt you." He gently pulled her hand away.

"I don't know what to say Meryl…I was so worried that you…No one has ever said anything so sweet to me before."

"Yeah. And that's why I'm here with you and not them." She teased, lightly flicking him on the nose.

"Anything you want to know Meryl just ask. I'll tell you anything, I'm yours after all. I don't want to hide anything form you. Ever."

"Alright then…how did you get this one?" She asked, touching the metal grate on his chest.

"There was a bar fight, it was a shotgun. If I hadn't managed to take cover behind a door first it would have killed me instantly. But even still…it was bad. So bad that the bones have taken forever to grow back. That's why this is here." He said tapping the metal. "To hold things together while they heal. Although it should be getting time for it to come off now…"

"The one on your right foot?"

"There was an explosion, I still don't know what from, and the house caved in on me and the people I was staying with. We were buried two days until someone dug us out. Luckily everyone survived."

"Thank goodness. And this one?"

"I'd…rather not say…"

"Why?"

"It's embarrassing."

"Ok…"

"No. I'll tell you. I kinda, accidently…shot myself."

"Oh Vash…" She said exasperatedly.

"I was a rookie once too you know. The worst of these were done by bounty hunters or terrible accidents, but just like everyone else, some happened out of my own clumsiness."

"Now I can't get where anyone would call you clumsy." She picked at him.

"Oh yeah. Believe it or not but even this most devilishly handsome and stunningly agile gunman has his awkward moments."

"No…"

"It's true. For example I had found a wreck of a ship about…well before you were born. I was curious and tried to climb down in there to see what I could find. Well I ended up falling down about twenty heels into a pile of debris."

"Ow."

"Yup. Here. Feel." He said taking her hands and guiding them behind his neck between his shoulder blades. "Feel that scar there? Now press down hard."

"What is that?" she asked, feeling some small mass buried underneath muscle.

"When I landed a chunk of metal had got lodged in my back. I didn't realize it at the time because I had more pressing injuries to tend to, such as a broken leg. By the time I noticed it was nearly completely healed. Its never really bothered me so I left it as is."

"And…what about this one?" She asked, her hand trailing to the long jagged scar covering most of his right side.

"That one…" He sighed. She began to regret asking. "If any, that one came the closest to killing me. Are you familiar with harrows?"

"Vaguely. Isn't it an agricultural tool?"

"Yeah. It's used for tilling up land. Some are made of chains, others disks, others rows of spikes. Some are stationary while others are motorized."

"Umm." She didn't like where this was heading.

"It was a bounty hunter; we had both been unarmed so it was down to a fight. Things got out of control. I was thrown on the edge of the harrows and had this carved out of me, but he got the full impact. There wasn't much left..."

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to…I knew I shouldn't have brought this up."

"No. Don't be sorry. I'm ok really. I'm glad you want to know about me, and to hear what you think…it means everything to me. Honestly."

"Thank you. But I'm sorry I made you dig up such a painful memory on my account."

"Well, just help me forget about it and we'll call it even. Deal?" He said mischievously, pulling her to him.

"What am I going to do with you?" she asked jokingly.

"I don't know, but you're going to have to figure something out because you're stuck with me."

"Promise?"

"Always."

-L&P-

"Hello! I brought some books as requested! And I brought by some donuts to share with you, or heck…you can have them all if you want! I don't care!" Vash said whirling on in after his customary knock that was, as always, never answered. He had quiet a few books stacked in one hand and a stained paper bag in the other.

"Dare I ask?" Knives asked warily, reaching out for the leaning stack of books. He had no desire to eat any of the donuts however. He'd been practically showered with junk food the past two weeks. If he didn't know any better he would swear that they were trying to fatten him up to eat.

"Dare you asketh what?" Vash said, sitting down hard on the floor. He began to fish around in the bag for a donut.

"You. What's got you so worked up today?"

"What? Can't a guy be in a good mood?"

"In this abysmal place? No you can't."

"Then that makes it a doubly great day because I'm in a good mood anyway!" He said, letting himself fall back to lie on the floor.

"If you're going to keep that up you can just leave right now." Knives warned. He was starting to get a little weirded out by this drastic change in behavior. His brother just laughed.

"Sorry. I'll quit." Vash said, then sat up and instantly put up a stony serious face that didn't waver in the slightest. Knives growled in annoyance.

"And may I ask why you're in a good mood?"

"Nope!"

"And why _not_?" He asked, growing more testy and impatient by the second.

"'cause!"

He was going to kill him yet; Knives thought then looked at the books brought to him. There, on the very top, was a book with a picturesque mountain lake and a couple kissing passionately depicted on the cover. "What the hell is this?" Knives said, waving the offending object in the air. "I thought I made it explicitly clear I wanted nothing to do with such a thing!"

"Can't you take a joke Knives? And believe it or not that one's actually good. In the story the main character is magically transported back in time where he…uh…aww" Vash said sadly, watching as the book was shredded into little pieces that fluttered down to the floor.

"Ha. Ha." Knives said, and then brushed the scraps away from himself through the bars.

"That was one of my favorites too…"

"Then I did you a favor by destroying it. You're too influenced and involved with humans anyway. You don't need to be exposed to garbage like that. Next thing you know you'll be wanting to mix with them."

"I'm kinda shocked. I haven't seen you this protective over me since that incident with the sandworm. I'm touched."

"Don't take it the wrong way. Your behavior is completely illogical and an embarrassment to our race. I'm just trying to remove anything that will give you ideas and disgrace our bloodline. And there had better not be anymore of those in here…" Knives muttered, sifting through the books.

"You mean have children."

"Precisely." He said giving the book in his hand one look before destroying it as well with vicious satisfaction. As he pilfered through the rest of the books, Knives became aware of the silence that was stretching out between the two of them. He slowly looked up to his silent brother. "_What_?"

"Nothing." Vash avoided, looking away.

"So help me Vash, if you tell me that you've…" He warned harshly.

"No, no. But maybe one day, you know?" Knives was stunned into silence. He absolutely could not believe what he had just heard.

"_What_?" He asked sharply. "Did you just imply that you wanted to mate with those things?"

"Do you _have_ to say it like that? But one day yes, I would like to have a family."

"You're honestly saying…"

"It's not that hard Knives! And it's not as damn awful as your making it out to be. I don't expect you to know about love, but I would appreciate it if you would respect me enough to accept my decisions about what to do with my life."

"How dare you even imply the notion? I _knew_ I should have killed you years ago. How utterly revolting! To allow human blood to mix with ours."

"You have no idea what you're talking about so just stop it!"

"I have no idea? This coming from one who has been blindly roaming the desert completely ignorant to the truth staring you, no slapping you in the face? Wake up! They're monsters, they need to die!"

"No they don't! How can someone so smart be so stupid? All you see is what you want, what you think, to hell with everyone else. And me! Have you ever cared about me or have you just _tolerated_ me because of mere genetics? If I was another member of that crew would you have murdered me too?"

"Of course I would have! You would have been one of those things, not my brother. I would have felt nothing for you. And mark my words Vash, one day they'll all be gone and it will be just us. You, me, and the others. I swear it on my life."

"No, it won't." Vash said coldly.

"What do you mean?"

"I refuse to live without them. If…_somehow_ you do kill them all you had better say goodbye to me as well."

"Are you saying that you would rather commit suicide than to live with me? And your own kind?" Knives asked in utter disbelief.

"Well, you would probably kill me first for trying to stop you, but if I was spared then yes. I would."

At this something within Knives snapped. To hell with trying to talk with him, to hell with him. Any pretence of patience was gone, and all he wanted now was to inflict as much pain upon his brother as possible. He couldn't reach him physically, but there were other ways. Knives began to laugh.

"What?" Vash asked warily, uncomfortable with this drastic change.

"They mean that much to you huh?" Knives asked, recovering some from his outburst. "A family huh?"

"Yes…"

"So will any female do or do you have someone in mind?"

"I'm not telling you, you'll just target them."

"So it _is_ a particular one. And honestly brother, what am I going to do from in here? Huh?" he asked, still fighting the laughter.

"You're starting to scare me…"

"Oh grow up. It's just that you're so absurd. And if you only knew how much you reminded me of someone. The irony of it all is killing me. No lie, it's the truth."

"Who do I remind you of and why do you find it amusing that we are similar?"

"There was this man, with very similar values to yours actually. He had a wife, daughter, they were his entire life. He was the kind of father I'm sure you would be should you ever reproduce."

"And?"

"They died. Murdered. They died right in his arms."

"How awful Knives! Why are you telling me this and why does that remind you of me?"

"Because of what you said, that you would sooner die than live without your humans. This man chose to die. Committed suicide. First he died on the inside. Everything he once valued became dust in the wind. Honor, integrity, and all that sentimental garbage became noting to him any more. In his masochistic desire to escape from the pain he became a monster wearing the skin of what once was a good man."

"I though you said he killed himself." Vash said, quiet disturbed with Knives'es gruesome little story. He had wanted him to open up some, but this? Ugh.

"Oh he did. He did. He had a few things to take care of first but he finally died, nearly forty years after he had vowed that life meant nothing anymore." Knives said, savoring the uncomfortable responses he was getting from his audience. "He did retain one redeeming quality, for a human at least. That was loyalty. That was why the inevitable was postponed for so long. I promised him nothingness. I promised him escape. In return he placed that empty shell of a life in my hands until the day I would snuff it out. I never got the chance to however. You were a nice substitute though…You were a little stage shy at first but you performed marvelously."

"No…"

"Aw don't take it so hard Vash. You're always trying to think on the optimistic side aren't you? Don't think of yourself as a murderer…but a bringer of mercy. After all, you did put that poor man out of his misery, and after he had already suffered for so long. You should feel good about what you've done."

"Shut up…" Vash said thickly through tears. Knives just laughed.

"Don't look at me like that, you know it's true. I would think that you would welcome solace for breaking your promise, for killing."

"Shut up." He said stronger now.

"Do you see the similarities now? Eventually your human would die as well as anything the two of you might have spawned. And you said yourself that you would rather die than be alone. Although I just hope that you would have enough courage to do it yourself rather than stain someone else's innocent hands with your cursed blood."

"Shut up! Shut Up! Damn you Knives! I…I hate…" Unable to speak he turned and ran out with one last sob. Knives fell back against his bed laughing. It was a completely predictable reaction but satisfying none the less. After just a minuet the laughter eased. His mirth faded away much sooner than he thought it would. Completely quiet now, he stared up at the cold metal ceiling.

He was…angry? Why? Annoyed and puzzled, he sat up. Thinking. He didn't have a chance to wonder over this weird spiral of emotions because he was interrupted by a soft knock on the door.

-L&P-

It was turning out to be a boring slow day. Again. Wolfwood and Millie had long ago made a break for town and had yet to return. Wolfwood had picked up a part time job for some extra money (to buy the promised ring, no doubt) and naturally Millie wanted to help out as well. Probably to help pay for all the goodies they bought. So no company here for a few more hours, Meryl thought with a sigh. The Doc and the others were busy with…what were they up to anyway? They were done with the technology, right? Ah, she didn't care. What she did care about was currently in a room trying to reason with his psychotic brother, an effort that sometimes took hours or minuets, depending on Knives'es current mood.

Her subconscious must have picked up on her thoughts about the two plants because she soon found that her seemingly aimless wandering had taken her to the hall that held Knives'es cell. One of the two guards outside of the door noticed her and gave a shy wave. She hesitantly returned it, slightly puzzled by the sheepish reaction.

Abruptly the guarded door flew open, startling the three of them nearly out of their skins. Without so much as looking up, Vash stormed out of the room and away down the opposite end of the hall, in furious tears. Before she could even think of trying to catch up with him, he was gone. One of the guards gave a low whistle, closing the door.

"You'd figure they would get tired of those shouting matches of theirs and give it a rest for a while." The guard said.

"All they do is fight?" Meryl asked, coming up.

"Not all of the time. But mostly. Although I have to say I've never seen him that pissed off before. I wonder what went on…"

"So do I." Meryl said darkly, crossing her arms. "In fact, I would like to go in there and find out."

"Sorry ma'am. We can't let you in." The other guard said. "No one inside but Vash himself, his orders."

"Wait. She's with him. Didn't you know?" The first guard said to the other.

"But still…"

"That's right." Meryl said stepping up. "And I've dealt with Knives before. I know to stay well out of arms reach. So…are you gentlemen going to let me inside?"

"I don't know Mike…"

"What? You in a hurry to go back in there with him? What could a few minuets hurt? Besides, we'll be right out here."

"Ok. But just for a bit. But remember, don't…"

"I know, I know…Spare me the helpless damsel talk alright? Now let me in." She said walking on past them without waiting for permission. She felt guilty for breaking her promise, but in seeing Vash so upset, she was thrown into full offensive mode.

After the unanswered knock Meryl peered inside slowly at first. He was sitting on the bed, his back towards her. She slipped on in closing the door behind her. Honestly, she was a little nervous. The last (and first) interaction that they had with one another he had nearly killed her. The tense set of his shoulders told her that he was suspicious of whoever was there.

"Hello." She said tentatively.

"Now that's a new voice. I'll admit I'm curious. It's not time to eat yet so that means you're here on your own." He turned to look at her over his shoulder. "Isn't that right?"

"Yes." She said firmly, refusing to allow any waver to her voice from being faced with those cold blue eyes.

"I remember you. How's the neck?" He asked mockingly.

"You left some bruises for quite some time but I'm fine now."

"Too bad." He said turning back around.

"Humph. Actually, I came here because I was curious."

"Come to see the dangerous monster huh? Well this isn't a side show. Now get out."

"I didn't come to get a peek. I was just walking by when Vash left in a hurry. I've only seen him that upset a few times. I was wondering what you said to upset him."

"Go ask him. After all, he has turned himself into a pet."

"I don't want to hear it from him; I want to hear it from you. And he's not a pet."

"Could have fooled me."

"Now what does that mean?" She snapped, crossing her arms.

"What? Are you too stupid to figure it out? He practically kills himself trying to accommodate you all, and what does he get for it? Treated like garbage and mauled. If anything I think that would have convinced him that you all need to be disposed of. But no. How he developed such an affinity for such rabid beasts I'll never know."

"I'll be the first to admit that humans can be destructive and do horrible things. Not even I'm exempt from having treated him badly. But your point of view is hypocritical to the point of absurdity."

"_Excuse_ me?"

"People may have left their mark on him, but by far you have done the most damage both physically and psychology. In fact, all you seem to know how to do is destroy. Tell me again who is a beast? You're just a glorified weapon with an ego and a vocabulary."

"How dare you talk to me like that you imperfect thing!"

"What? And you are? You're a lot of things Knives, but you're not omnipotent."

"Even with my power gone I'm in a class way above anything you creatures could hope to match."

"Ok then." She said sitting down on the floor. "Tell the little moronic thing how much better you are, and try to use small words so I'll understand."

"You had better stop mocking me…"

"I'm serious! Tell me! Cause I'm a little confused. People murder, lie, betray, torture one another, blindly pursue vengeance, are selfish, arrogant, think that their opinion is the only correct one, and refuse to see the truth even when it bites them on the ass. Now maybe I've gotten mixed up somewhere but haven't you done all those things?"

"For starters I was designed to be far superior. I'm not subject to disease, time, or any other physical weakness that you have. I remember details as clearly now as when I saw them over a hundred years ago. The fact that you all are so easily manipulated by telepathy proves how weak you are mentally. Don't even begin to compare us. You won't even come close."

"Hmm. I suppose it must really bother you that you look like everyone else. That you were made by humans and come from human DNA."

"Ah, so he's told you how we came to be, huh?"

"Yes. From mixing human DNA and DNA from that of an ocean organism. I forget its name."

"Not surprising. But I suppose you got the 'family friendly' version?"

"What do you mean?"

"That he made it sound like the designers took one set of DNA in one hand, another in the other, mixed, and viola! A plant." Knives said, indicating the motions in the air.

"…Sort of. He said that there was some trial and error though."

"Hff. Trial and error describes it as appropriately as cutting someone depicts disembowelment."

"What a lovely imagination you have."  
"I'm flattered. No, what those people did in their pursuit of power was as inhumane as it comes." For some reason she believed that he was telling the truth and not feeding her lies. And what he was saying was deeply troubling.

"What happened?" She asked warily.

"You sure you want to know? It might shatter your idealistic opinion on humanity."

"Let's be clear about one thing Knives, in no way during this entire conversation, have I even _hinted_ at believing that humans are perfect in any way. In fact is rather the opposite. I wouldn't go to your extreme with this, but I can understand your opinions. I know people can be awful and disgusting, but I also believe that they can be better. But most don't become better, nor do I expect them to be. With all we do it's a wonder that God hasn't done away with us all yet."

"…Interesting…"

"Now are you going to tell me or will I have to go ask Vash? If it is as awful as your making it out to be, I figure that you would jump at the chance to cause me distress."

"You know, you have a big mouth for such a small woman."

"So I've been told. Well…"

"Fine. When Vitainfantanus-vis was discovered it was an interesting toy for biologists, but nothing more. Due to the fact that it would not die naturally they would come up with ever more creative ways to kill it. Extreme heat, cold, toxins, acid, radiation, the works. It was when they discovered its energy generating capabilities that other heads were turned."  
"Like Richard Evans?"  
"Right. Evans was a bioengineer, a fancy term for one who twists and manipulates other life forms to satisfy their curiosity about what would happen if they mixed this or cut out that. Like the philanthropist he was, he began pushing for human experimentation from day one. Under law he couldn't so they gave him a bunch of animals for his lab to mutate and torture. For some reason known only to Evans, it wasn't enough. Some of the animal hybrids were more than efficient for energy production needs, but for him…no. Illegally he began experimenting with mixing his own DNA with Vita in secret. With the technology he possessed he could produce a fully grown adult in a matter of weeks. Defective samples that never made it past the test tube were incinerated. Larger ones were dissected. But the most effective ones were experimented on. Living, sentient beings became nothing more test subjects. His own children. If you look Evans up on the computers here you'll see that we look exactly like him, give or take a few differences." Meryl was mortified by this horrible revelation. Knives just laughed at her stunned expression.

"They were put through the same experiments as Vita was. The genetic formula of those that succumbed were discarded, while those that lasted (for the longest anyway) were improved upon. In order to create the perfect power source, he needed to create the perfect being. Hence the exponentially improved mental abilities, rapid maturity, optimal physical state, and resiliency. Eventually he was discovered and arrested. Only two things prevented his execution for 'crimes against humanity'. One, is because the researchers were so enamored with the power of the new subject, the plant Lucinda, and because the thought of keeping the power to themselves and excluding other species was so tempting, stemming from their pathetic and futile need for superiority and domination. Evans got off with only a life sentence instead of death because his creations could no longer be classified as human. The murder of countless individuals were just brushed off, they were just things to them after all. See? It was your kind that drew the line first, not me…"

"And then what happened?"

"Lucinda died. She died fighting."

"But what? I thought that her power was exhausted, that she was never allowed to wake up."

"She was asleep but she struggled every moment as they were draining her dry. Even unconscious she was desperate for freedom. Then one day she couldn't struggle any more…To keep the plants sedate and to ease their own conscience about it, new plants were designed to stay asleep and in a state of euphoria while they were enslaved. That's why I haven't been able to set them free. With all the corrupt human thought and hate resonating throughout the world it's no wonder they choose to stay asleep. But once your kind has been eradicated then perhaps they will feel more secure about coming out." Meryl said nothing. She was stunned speechless, and was more than a little sad. Knives was slightly puzzled by this unexpected reaction. He had expected her to be indignant and defendant. What was this?

"I'm sorry…" She muttered then quickly left the room, leaving a very puzzled plant sitting there to ponder what just happened.

-L&P-

The only sound in the room was from the hum of all the computers. Meryl didn't have the slightest clue what they were for or if she was even in the right room. But if this wasn't it, she would look elsewhere…she had to know. What she wouldn't give for an actual book instead of all these doodads.

She sat down at a random computer, fingers hovering over the keys, uncertain of what to do next. Experimentally she pressed a key. –COMMAND?- blinked repeatedly in the upper left corner of the screen.

"Oh…how to do this..." She muttered. She typed in –FIND-. –COMMAND ERROR- was the computers response. She growled in frustration. –HISTORY-. –COMMAND ERROR-

"Dammit…" –RICHARD EVANS- The screen abruptly flooded with information. His picture was the first thing that appeared. She stared at it in quiet astonishment. Different hair, smaller build, but the face, eyes, everything…Knives was right; they did look exactly like him. It was disconcerting.

The man's whole life was unfolded in front of her. Birth date, university, even his inmate number was there. She rapidly scanned through the wealth of material, specifically looking for his research projects. After looking through seemingly endless academic writings and projects she finally found what she was looking for: his creation of the species _Homo Angelus_. As she read, she realized with growing horror that what Knives had told her was true. And as heartless as he seemed, Knives spoke with more compassion and feeling than the cold factual words that told the same story. He was right…No wonder he felt the way he did. The poor thing. The doors opened, causing her to jump.

"Meryl? I've been looking everywhere for you. What are you doing in here?" Vash asked walking up to join her.

"I was just curious about how these things worked, that's all." She said. Quickly she typed in –EARTH- causing her former search to be replaced. Hidden. "Was I not supposed to? I mean, are these important?"

"No. These computers are alright to look through." He said pulling up a chair and sitting beside of her. "Earth…I wish I had had the chance to see it. If only I was born a little earlier." He mused, scrolling through the pictures on the screen.

"Maybe it was a good thing that you didn't. Didn't everyone leave Earth because it was dying?" She said, fascinated with the pictures herself.

"That's true…But still, it had to have been better than sand. It would have been worth it for a chance to see this." He said typing in a new command. Pictures of expansive oceans and seas flooded the monitor. In silence they looked at the breathtaking beauty of a world long lost.

"Did you know your name means 'shining sea'?"

"You seem…really down." She ventured, noticing his somber expression.

"It's just him…"

"Oh." She already knew, but perhaps he would feel better if he talked about it. It's always worked before. "I believe in you." she said reaching up and giving him a quick kiss. "Just keep trying."

"Thanks. That really means a lot to me." He said, typing on the keyboard once more. A picture of five waving people, in uniforms, stood before an expansive gleaming ship.

"What's this?" She asked, leaning close to get a better look. He increased the size of the picture to where it took up the entire screen.

"This is the SEEDS crew. My family. And right here…is Rem." He said fondly, pointing to the tall dark haired woman.

"She's beautiful."

"Yeah. I thought so too. And this is Joey, Mary, Rowan, Steve…"

"I don't remember you talking about him."

"He was never around much." Vash said waving him off. "If you want I can teach you how to use these, so you could look up whatever you wanted."

"That sounds good. But I'm sick of technology for the moment. What I'd really like is something to eat."

"Ok." He laughed. "You can go on ahead and let me get these shut down. They aren't even supposed to be on."

She left, promising to grab him something as well and would meet him out on the balcony. He waited until she was gone before backtracking through the searches. The crew, ocean, Earth, Richard Evans. He paused, reading over the segment that she had currently been on. The experiments with the early plants…How did she know this, he wondered looking up from the computer to the door she had just walked through.

-L&P-

It had been a happy, frustrating, confusing, and hopeful several of weeks all wrapped together. Millie wasn't sure what emotion to feel from one moment to the next. Moments she spent with Nic were always the best, but it wasn't just the two of them on the ship. She wanted to get out of that dull ship as often as she could, but she always felt a little guilty for leaving. Almost as if she had something to do there that she was just running away from. But what? She helped out with whatever she could, but with everything so technologically advanced and automated there wasn't much along the lines of chores to do. She spent time with Meryl as often as she could whenever Millie knew that she was going to be alone for the day. But that hadn't been as often as of late because Vash was around more often than he had been.

Millie felt so sorry for him. She didn't know what had happened between him and Knives, but he all but refused to go see him any more. It was not as if he didn't try, it's just that he couldn't bring himself to stick around for long before leaving. She had learned this from her two good friends on day shift watch Mike and Steven. They were everyone's inside source about the conversations that went on inside the little room. They had been reluctant informants at first. It was actually Nic's idea to pry information from them, being rabid with curiosity. With a little bribing and perhaps a threat? They had given in and were secretly telling all that they found out.

So far there hadn't been any more shouting matches. In fact, from what the two guards had heard there hadn't been anything said between them at all. What went on in that room on the rare and brief occasions that Vash did visit Knives was a mystery. And Knives wasn't too happy with this change as well. At first he had seemed glad that he had gotten under his brothers skin so badly and was now being left alone. But that same aloneness began to eat at him before too long. He would clamor about and demand Vash'es attention but would try to ignore him whenever he did make an appearance. Millie suspected that he was confused. And lonely. And perhaps a little bored?

She knew that she defiantly would be. She was free to roam the ship and town and had all her friends and she was still bored. She couldn't imagine how he would feel, trapped all alone in that room with no one to talk to and nothing to do. It was this very line of thinking that lead her to his door that day, a deck of cards in one hand and a chess board in the other. She felt guilty for breaking her promise, but she couldn't help it. She just knew he was lonely and it simply ate at her to do nothing.

"Hey Steven! How are you today?"

"Pretty good Millie. And you?"

"Great. How's Mike?"

"Pretty grumpy I'd say. His shift in there doesn't end for two more hours."

"Actually that's what I came to talk to you about…" She shyly began. "I was wondering if you two could let me in for awhile to talk with Mr. Knives. Maybe if I could cheer him up he and Vash will start talking to one another again."

"Millie…I don't know…"

"Oh, please…I won't go near him, I swear! And besides…how is he supposed to get used to people if he's never around them? Please, for me?"

"Ah…It'll be up to Mike." He dodged. With a knock on the door he called his partner out. After a brief explanation of the situation Mike agreed without argument. He then left them at almost a run, glad to be away. Millie puzzled over what had gotten him so worked up, then shrugged it off and stepped inside.

Suspicious the moment the guard left, Knives sat on his bed attentively watching the door. A brief flicker of surprise trailed across his face as she entered then it changed back to stony sullenness.

"And what do you want?" He asked her coldly.

"I came here to visit you!" She cheerfully replied, immune to the ice in his voice.

"I don't want you here. Leave."

"I figured that since you and Vash have been arguing and not spending much time together anymore you would be bored so I brought you some cards just in case you wanted to play solitaire or something later and a chess set because since your smart and all that you would be good at it because no one else will play with me on the ship and I wanted to keep you company, so what do you think?"

"What?" He asked, unprepared for the sudden onslaught of Millie.

"Would you like to play chess with me?" She asked, holding out the board.

"It would just be a waste of time. There would be no way you could even begin to compete with me."

"You never know…I'm pretty good at it. I've even beat Vash before."

"He lost to you? He must have let you win out of fear of hurting your feelings." Knives said scornfully, turning his back to her.

"No. He was quite upset at losing actually. But I think he might have been a little distracted because Nic kept flicking wadded up pieces of paper at his ears. He still pouted about it though and won't play with me anymore. I think it's kind of funny actually."

"I can see where that would happen. He always did sulk when I beat him too."

"So you know how to play! Ok good! Let's get started!" She cheered setting up the pieces on the board.

"I never said that I wanted to play with you, you lower life form."

"Well since you don't like people, this is a good chance to show one of them up! Common tough guy! I think I can take you!"

"…Fine. But let's make a bet. If I win, you leave and I never have to see your face again."

"Agreed! And if I win?"

"What do you want?"

"Hmmm…Oh I know! If I win you have to start talking to Vash again. And no cheating! If you do I'll tell everyone on this ship that I beat you at chess!"

"You won't win. There is no threat to me."

"Alright! Let's do this!"

The chess match stretched on for an amazing two hours. Steven would check in on them repeatedly, being disturbed by the seemingly peaceful silence. Millie knew better than to get close enough to let Knives move his own pieces, instead he gave her orders to move which piece where. Naturally he had chosen the black set. In the end nether of them could collect on their bet, because it had come out a stalemate. Even though she didn't win, Millie was thrilled to death that she had finally found someone good to play with and left promising that she would be back and beat him next time! Knives was left sitting with the promised deck of cards in his hands, wondering what he had done wrong to lose. That human was so brainless…how did they come out a draw?

Interesting…

-L&P-

"He hasn't been by for three days now. He must have given up on me. I wish." Knives said wistfully.

"_No_. In fact he really misses being around you. It's just that you refuse to talk to him back. It really hurts him. Although I don't see why he wants to talk to you so badly. You're rude, irritable, and stubborn." Meryl said, counting off on her fingers.

"Your one to talk." Knives snapped.

"He must be a masochist. That's the only explanation of why he bothers to keep you."

"Ha." Knives said blandly. "He has to be to but up with you."

"You're a real pain in the ass, you know that?"

"So tell me something new. What else does my brother think?" He asked, lounging back on his bed, she wasn't worth the effort of sitting up.

"Well, even though he tries to keep up a mask of optimism, he's really troubled about you. The fact that you're unhappy with him is what is bothering him the most."

"Now gee, I wonder where he might have gotten that idea…"

"Not about the imprisonment or draining your power smartass. Vash is under the impression that you had something against him before you two had parted ways. He sits up all night sometimes pondering it over."

"What I would like to know is…how do you know all these things? You seem to know a lot of what goes on in his head."

"Seriously Knives, that man wears his heart on his sleeve. It's hard _not_ to know." She said, but he obviously was not satisfied yet. "If you _must_ know, he's told me so."

"Really?" Knives asked rhetorically.

"He tells me all kinds of things. About plants, as you already know, old stories, the occasional sciency tidbit, the SEEDS crew. He's even shown me a picture of Rem, Joey, Mary, and Rowan."

"And Steve." Knives flatly said.

"Oh yeah. And that other guy."

"_That other guy_? That's not quite the response I expected about him. Not unless you have a gift for understatements as well as sarcasm."

"I don't follow you…"

"I get it!" Knives exclaimed, slapping himself on the forehead. "He didn't tell you about him, did he?"

"Only that he was rarely around…" She said uncertainty. Knives burst out into renewed, and unsettling laughter.

"Leave it to Vash to leave out the most enlightening member of the crew."

"Enlightening?"

"I am not my brother Meryl, I am not going to sugarcoat this to spare your feelings. That man was a bastard. He was a coward, a bully, and a prime example of human nature. In fact, I owe it to him for opening my eyes to you all. He despised us, just because we were different. He was rarely around because he feared us. We soon learned not to be caught alone by that man. In fact, I believe that he deliberately hunted us out just to beat us. But he always did it in a way to where the others wouldn't notice. Oh don't look so horrified, it's not as if you haven't heard of this kind of thing before. Just like other life forms, humans prey upon the young. Thanks to his cruelty I finally saw the truth of human nature. With a little coxing, the others showed their true colors too. That's why I did away with them. That's why I'll do away with you all…What? No smart replies?" Knives asked, noting her silence and somber expression.

"No." She said heavily, finally. "And yes, I have heard of that sort of thing before, worse actually. I appreciate you telling me the truth Knives, but I don't see why you constantly feel the need to remind me about the way people can be."

"Hmm?"

"Human nature. Greed, selfishness, anger…I see it everyday when I look in the mirror. I don't need you telling me these things. It would be like me constantly reminding you that you're caged." Knives narrowed his eyes, wonder what she was getting at. "I may have those impulses, but that doesn't mean that I have to give into them. I have the ability to choose. And before you start…I know that most choose wrong, but shouldn't that make the ones who do choose to try all the more precious? If only more could see past their own lives and help those that do and challenge those that don't then we would have peace."

"That's just a foolish impossible utopian dream." He snapped.

"I agree. A Utopia is impossible but if it's better than reality isn't it worth fighting for?"

"Foolish spider…"

"I know but why stay in a cold reality when can reach for a dream." Meryl said. Look at what striving for the supposed impossible got her, she admitted, smiling to herself. "You know, someone once said to shoot for the moon even if you miss you'll land amongst the stars."

"Per aspra ad astra." Knives said quietly.

"What? What does that mean?" She asked him, but Knives had clammed up and refused to say anything more to her. Eventually she left, and Knives remained still and silent long after she was gone. Thinking.

-L&P-

Several days later it was a peaceful evening out on the balcony with what they all had dubbed 'real food' for dinner. Wolfwood stood and watched the others. He wasn't in the mood for eating anything. The nicotine cravings were raring their ugly head and he was chewing on his toothpicks for all he was worth. Conversation was light. Everything has been much tenser ever since Knives came into the picture, Wolfwood mused sourly. In his opinion it was a lost cause, but he was determined to keep his word and stand by his best friend, oh but what a pain it was.

"So…how's things with Knives?' He asked nonchalantly, inspecting his fingernails. Vash paused in mid bite, then lowered his sandwich.

"Its funny you ask. For a while now he had refused to say a word to me, then all of a sudden he starts talking as if nothing ever happened."

"And what _did_ happen?" Wolfwood asked.

"I, uh…well some subjects came up that should have been left alone and well…we both kinda lost it. But I guess things are alright now that he's had enough time to sulk."

"Or he's had a small change of heart." Meryl said, sipping on her coffee.

"I can only hope." Vash said whole heartedly. "He can be so confusing…"

"Confusing is not the word that I would have chose." Wolfwood muttered to himself.

"Oh and speaking of confusing…" Meryl began. "I have something that I've wanted to ask you Vash."

"Shoot."

"What does 'per aspera ad astra' mean?"

"Ohh…sounds fancy…" Millie said. Vash, however, was stunned.

"Where did you hear that?" He asked her, food forgotten.

"Why? Is it bad?" She asked, worried.

"No, it's not bad. It's Latin for 'through difficulties to the stars'. It was the motto for the SEEDS program. But where did you…"

"Wow Meryl! You know Latin! Nifty." Millie giggled.

She sighed. "Busted." Meryl muttered to herself, setting her coffee aside. "I have a confession to make…I've been going to see Knives. I heard it from him."

"You _what!_?"

"I didn't get close." She quickly said. "I've learned my lesson already. We were talking one day and he said it. But he wouldn't tell me what it meant. And I'm so sorry for breaking my promise, but seeing as how…"

"You were talking with him?" Vash asked in disbelief.

"Yes and I'm sorry, please don't be angry…"

"Actually talking with him?"

"_Yes_."

"And he didn't yell at you or call you names or demand you leave at once?"

"He's rude and insulting, but I can take it as well as dish it back. But other than that we've held actual substantial conversations. Yesterday he actually used my name instead of his many creative titles." Vash looked as if he were about to faint. "Once you get past the insults and get him going he's quite talkative."

"I know right!" Millie laughed excitedly. "He's always talking and using big words and stuff whenever we play chess."

"Not you too!" Both Vash and Wolfwood shouted at the same time.

"Why yes…And he's a good chess player too. So far it's just been stalemates but I'll beat him yet!" She declared, shaking her fist to the heavens.

"Millie please tell me you haven't gone near him. Has he said anything to you?" Wolfwood asked, deeply worried.

"He can be a little grouchy, but its ok! And I know better than to get too close."

"Let me guess…you too Wolfwood?" Vash asked, looking up at him. The stunned man looked as if he couldn't decide whether or not to be furious that they had all went behind his back like that or be overjoyed that Knives was actually accepting interactions from humans.

"Don't look at me. I've had nothing to do with him since the day you've woke up." Wolfwood said holding out his hands. "So just leave me out of this, alright?" He said, backing away and going inside. Before the door shut he could hear Vash excitedly trying to pry everything that had been said and done out of the girls.

Wolfwood walked along the dim halls, ruminating. He was defiantly going to have a talk with Millie about this later. By no means did he want to try and control her life, but the risk that Knives would try and take advantage of her trusting nature was too high for his liking. Hell, he wasn't even happy that Meryl had been seeing him, but he had no say so about her actions.

As he walked and his anger cooled he began to wonder. This utter hate for the man, persistent negativity, repeatedly expressing no hope for his change…was it wrong of him? Out of everyone on this ship shouldn't he understand the value of mercy and forgiveness the most? Here he was, having changed into a new man after a lifetime of shedding blood, refusing to give another the same change. No. he would not allow himself to become a hypocrite. It was time he stepped up to the bar as well.

Wordlessly he bypassed the guard, having had intimidated him into acquiescence weeks ago, checked though the window to see Knives on his bed reading, and stepped on inside. The in room guard looked up in surprise.

"Take a break for a while. I've got this." He told him. The guard heard the hint 'get lost' loud and clear, and left. Wolfwood stood there at the door, staring at the man. Knives in turn, set his book aside and stared back.

"Well?" The plant asked after the long silence.

"Well what?" Wolfwood countered, matching the tone of contempt.

"I'd thought that I've seen the last of you. Care to enlighten me?" Knives asked standing up and walking up to the bars. Wolfwood chewed the toothpick in silence for a few moments.

"Just to warn you, you'll probably get an earful from Vash later."

"Oh really? And what have I done to upset my brother this time?"

"He just found out that the girls have been sneaking in to see you."

"I didn't realize that it was a secret. But I'm sure that you didn't come by out of compassion for me, so what do you want?"

"I came by because I've recently remembered something. 'Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy'. What would I be if I didn't make an effort to return what I had been given?"

"Human." Knives said simply. The way he said it, it could have almost have been a swear word. "And besides, who said that I needed mercy from you?"

"I do, considering that I could kill you right now if I so chose."

"So why don't you?" Knives mocked. "After all it is in your nature to cast aside higher values whenever base instincts arise. Perverseness is one of the primitive impulses of the human heart—one of the indivisible primary facilities, or sentiments, which give direction to the character of man. By coming in here you are trying to satisfy your conscience. You don't give a damn about me. I know it. You know it. In fact, if this door were to suddenly open you would forget any such noble notions and kill me."

"That may very well be true, but then again, that's why those bars are there in the first place." Wolfwood admitted at a length. Knives turned away in disgust.

"Leave."

"Is that what you really want Knives?" Wolfwood asked him.

"What kind of fool do you take me for?" He said, whirling back around to face him. "If I wanted you here I would have said 'stay', not 'leave'."

"So do you enjoy sitting here, hours on end, same old boring books to read, alone? Is that what you want?"

"I've spent decades alone. This is nothing."

"My, you are the patient one aren't you?"

"With my lifespan and my plans, patience is key."

"Plans huh?" Wolfwood asked him, throwing the toothpick down on the floor and out of habit crushing it with his shoe. "What's so great to think about that keeps you sane in this place."

"If you must know, I think of freedom." Knives snapped at him.

"Id say that's a given." Wolfwood scoffed.

"Not just my own, fool, but that of my race. They are as much prisoners as I am. Slaves. As long as your kind desperately and miserably clings to their pathetic existence, mine will suffer. 'So I returned, and considered all the oppressions that are done under the sun: and behold the tears of such as were oppressed, and they had no comforter; and on the side of their oppressors there was power; but they had no comforter. Wherefore I praised the dead which are already dead more than the living which are yet alive. Yea, better is he than both they, which hath not yet been, who hath not seen the evil work that is done under the sun'." Wolfwood stared at him in quiet shock for a few moments.

"Wow. I must say I'm impressed Knives…Ecclesiastes, right? You're the last person on this planet I expected to hear scripture quoted from."

"I may utterly detest humans, but that hasn't kept me from studying them." Knives countered.

"Studied out of curiosity or out of contempt?"

"What do you think?"

"Alright then. 'For so I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think himself more highly that he ought think; but to think soberly, according as God dealt to every man the measure of faith'. You're awfully arrogant for someone in a cage, and hypocritical. You, who accuse humans of mass destruction and vileness, have condemned us to this sandy star. You are possibly one of the greatest sinners in history."

"Don't give me that self-righteous garbage. You are just as much a murderer as I am. 'For there is not a just man upon earth, that doeth good, and sinneth not'. At least I'm honest about my intentions. You hide behind a mask of righteousness and goodwill. All for your precious children…Would they look at you the same way if they knew how much blood covered you hands?"

"I've changed…"

"The very fact that you're alive is proof that you're a sinner! Don't you dare credit God for your survival! It is _my_ blood in your veins that gave you the strength to stay alive. Blood that you willingly took so you could become a more efficient murdering machine. If anything, you owe me…"

"I shook off any claim you had over me when I chose to face death rather than carry out your evils."

"That only proves that you're a fool. But it honestly makes no difference; you were destined to be replaced anyway. 'Man is like to vanity: his days are as a shadow that passeth away'."

"'This is my commandment, that ye love one another, as I have loved you. Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends'. I would rather die a good man than live as a monster. Besides, death is inevitable. 'There is no man that hath power over the spirit to retain the spirit; neither hath he power in the day of death: and there is no discharge in that war; nether shall wickedness deliver those that are given to it'. You don't have eternity anymore Knives. If I were you I would do some serious thinking about how to spend what little time you have left."

"We'll see about that." Knives hissed at him.

"Yeah, we will won't we." Wolfwood agreed. "In time…"

-L&P-

"What do you think Meryl? Isn't it the prettiest thing you've ever seen?" Millie gushed, holding her left hand out to show the glinting ring.

"It is really lovely Millie. But I surprised that he got the money for it so fast." Meryl commented with a slight tinge of jealously.

"Well there was trouble down in town with this one guy, a politician I think. Well the man got caught up in a fight at the saloon. Well Nic bailed him out and the nice man gave him a good reward for his kindness! Crime doesn't pay but caring does!" Millie laughed, admiring her ring for the thousandth time since they began their walk around the ship.

"I'm glad things are working out so well between you and...Well honestly I'm not certain what to call him anymore."

"What do you mean?"

"You call him Nic, but we're not close enough for such familiarity (although he sees no problem in constantly calling me short girl…). And I believe Vash will always call him Wolfwood until the day he dies. But that just seems too…businesslike for me. I really don't know what your fiancé thinks of me. We've never been on close terms and we've even fought." Meryl said, her mind flitting back to when she had slugged him. She never had remembered to apologize.

"Aw Meryl, he likes you. He told me so himself. He just wants you to warm up to him on your own. That's all."

"Really? And here I was getting the impression that he kinda didn't like me…"

"Meryl you're so silly!" Millie giggled.

At the intersection of the halls up ahead a crew member ran on by as if he were being chased by the fires of hell. Instantly on alert the girls ran to the intersection to follow and almost collided with a second man running full tilt.

"What's going on? What's the hurry?" Meryl demanded.

"Fight. In the mess hall." The winded man managed.

"Fight? Who?"

"_Them_." He said, and was off. Meryl and Millie exchanged looks briefly and were quickly off after him.

There was already quite a crowd at the mess hall. Some of the spectators looked as if they wanted to step in and put an end to it but were too afraid to take action. Cursing her shortness, Meryl bulled her way to the front to see what was happening. Tables were broken, chairs were strewn everywhere, and in the midst of the chaos the two brothers grappled with one another trying to gain the advantage in the all out brawl.

A hand rested on her shoulder before she could event think of taking action. "Let them do this. They need to get it out." Wolfwood said, never looking away from the fight. She silently agreed, taking his hand in hers as if asking to borrow some of his quiet strength.

Knives recovered from being thrown and rolled into a crouch. Several bruises already marred his face and blood trailed from the corner of his mouth. That morning he had been sleeping peacefully, dreaming of the past when the loud knocking of his brother had woke him. Vash then surprised him as he wordlessly unlocked his cell door and opened it. Shocked, Knives had remained motionless. Vash had beckoned him out, saying that they were going for a walk.

Suspecting some kind of trickery Knives didn't move, but Vash persisted. When the two guards had seen who was exiting the room they had immediately bolted. Nothing was said as they walked down the hall. Vash had been no fool and was keyed into his every move, but Knives couldn't help but steal glances down at the silver gun resting in the holster.

Once they had reached the mess hall Vash had asked the few in the room to please leave. During this brief distraction Knives struck. He snatched the gun and had it aimed at his brothers head in less time it took to blink. The few humans in the room had immediately fled in terror, one stopping briefly to scoop up the black cat by her chair that had been begging for scraps. Vash turned to look at him. Not angry. Not fearful. Just disappointed. You brought this upon yourself; Knives had thought and pulled the trigger. The hammer fell on an empty chamber. Again. And again.

"You honestly do think I'm stupid, don't you?" Vash had asked sadly. Enraged, Knives attacked, determined to carry out the deed with his bare hands if necessary.

Now here they were, beating each other to death. Knives knew he couldn't win. Even if he did manage to take down his brother he would never survive the pack of humans circling about. Like wolves. He spared a second to look across the crowd. His focus rested on the three of his brothers closest companions. The priest's stony expression said nothing, the tall girl was verging on hysterics, and Meryl stared back at him with the very same disappointed expression that Vash had shown. It only enraged him further, urging him to attack once more.

While Knives was fueled by anger and desperation, he simply lacked the raw experience that Vash had with fighting and was losing. But he was determined to inflict as much damage as possible before he went down. Vash was sporting several bruises of his own, and his nose was beginning to bleed freely. On his hands and knees after taking a hit Knives waited until Vash drew close and swung the nearby fallen chair at him with all his strength. Vash managed to block the attack, a resounding clang rang out through the room as the metal chair impacted with the prosthetic arm, but it threw him off balance and onto the floor.

Knives was on him trying to throttle him in an instant. Several in the crowd cried out, but still he didn't let up. Not even after a direct hit to the face, another. Finally, with a vicious strike in the side in which Knives could have swore he felt a rib or two crack, did his grip loosen. Vash bucked Knives off of him, getting in another strike while trying to stand. In pain and desperation Knives lashed out blindly.

With a savage blow to the face Knives sent his brother reeling backwards. Vash recovered before he fell, looking back to glair at Knives who was laboring to breathe. They circled one another. Knives expected some preachy nonsense about how they shouldn't be doing this, but Vash said nothing. He just looked at Knives with that same determined expression that he had when Knives was certain that he was going to shoot him. He was actually unnerved by it. This only angered him.

"Its always going to come to this isn't it? Warring brothers. It's been so all throughout history." Knives said, looking for an opening. Vash didn't reply. "So what now? I'm not going back in that cell, you can count on it." Nothing. "Answer me dammit!...No?" He snapped, spying a shard from a broken table that would be passable as a weapon. He snatched it up. "Are you sure you have nothing to say to me?" said slyly, pointedly looking in the direction of the crowd.

"Don't." Vash sternly warned.

"What? Or you'll shoot me? You might hit one of them…" Some of the humans began retreating away, while a few of them tensed up in preparation for an attack. "Let me go now and no one dies. NOW!" He shouted, preparing to lunge for a hostage.

"Don't make me do it Knives, just drop it now!" Vash said, stepping closer.

"Ha! You won't do a thing! You come near me, I'll kill you. And I know you won't kill me. What have I got to be afraid of?"

"Why can't you just _please_ listen to me for once? Why?" Vash demanded of him, anger fading to be replaced by rueful pain. Knives was about to mock him when he felt a second consciousness join his own. _Stop it now Knives. Or I will be forced to make you stop. _You wouldn't…you don't even know how, Knives thought back trusting Vash to pick up on it. _You've __forced__ me to do a lot of things; don't think I'm beyond this. I'm willing to spare you the embarrassment of being controlled if you will willingly cooperate with me._ You're bluffing, Knives thought. Wasn't he? _No I'm not. But I don't want to risk hurting you. That's why I'm giving you this choice. You either walk out of here and back to your room under your own free will, or you walk back under mine. Choose._

After a long tense moment in while everyone in the room seemed to be holding their breath, Knives chose. With a slow exaggerated motion, he held out the weapon and let it fall to the ground. He refused to suffer through the humiliation of being maneuvered like a helpless puppet back to his room. He would be defenseless against the humans and did not trust Vash'es experience with telepathy. He had managed to master the angel arms in a split moment, but Knives didn't count on luck striking twice. And this time he was the one at risk. Wordlessly he turned and began to walk back to his room. The humans scattered in his wake and he could feel his brother following closely behind.

Once the door had been locked and he was alone once more, Knives laughed. He felt a strange combination of hate, disgust, and pride towards his brother. He had grown a backbone after all. Well bravo, Vash. Bravo.

-L&P-

"What. The Hell. Were you _thinking_!" Wolfwood raged at the sullen and sore plant. After he had put Knives back Wolfwood and the girls found him out on their little picnic area, nursing a severe headache.

"Not so loud, please Wolfwood. My head kinda hurts…"

"I'd say! You two were beating the hell out of each other. What possessed you to let him out in the first place?" Wolfwood demanded, not toning it down in the least.

"Nic, please…" Millie pleaded.

"I know it was crazy. And honestly I expected this to happen."

"You _what_? So did you wake up this morning and _decide_ to become a punching bag?"

"I'm sure he has his reasons Nicholas, and he would explain it to us all if you would give him the chance to do so." Meryl said, pointedly. She wished she had some ice, or at least a wet rag to offer Vash. At least his nose had quit bleeding.

"I had several reasons, and yes, one of them was to get into a fight." He was met by a chorus of _'huh's'_ by his three companions. "Knives is angry, frustrated, and it's not all at people like he says, but largely at me. I figured that if he got some of it out of his system that he would be better off. And it kinda worked. Although I kinda wish he hadn't hit me so hard…" Vash whined, hiding his face in his hands. "Owww…"

Wolfwood sighed deeply. "Alright then, what are the other reasons?"

"Well, he can't stay in there forever. He has to get used to being out and around people."

"That's what I've been saying!" Millie exclaimed excitedly, then wincing in sympathy, sorry for being so loud.

"Pfft. That went well." Wolfwood scoffed.

"He didn't kill anybody. I'd say that's a plus." Meryl said factually, causing Millie to giggle.

"Yeah. Although I kinda had to force him not to."

"How though?"

"I threatened to do the funky mind control thing on him and make him go to his room."

"But you didn't say…"

"Telepathy." He said simply, growing uncomfortable with the conversation.

"Nifty!" Millie cheered. "Ok, what am I thinking, right now?"

"Pudding?"

"…you're right…" She said in awe.

"Actually I just guessed. I only know how to do it with people who can do it back, and I don't want to learn otherwise. That would just be rude." You had better not be able to read my mind, Meryl thought to herself, or else I'd have to kill you then go die of embarrassment. "And there's another reason I let him out today too." Vash reluctantly began.

"Which is?"

"Well…um…Well we won't be able to stay here much longer. Times running out. To push longer than the five months that was given us would raise suspicions."

"I doubt that he'll be ready to be out and about _that_ soon." Wolfwood said. "Why don't we just move into town now? I'm sure short man will be able to pull some strings with the mayor and sheriff. You know, explain things just enough to satisfy any questions. That way we can take as long as we need with him and we'll be out of this abysmal place." He said, biting down on a toothpick. Wolfwood's use of 'we' and not 'you' in referring to Knives made Vash smile.

"Yeah! Why not?" Millie joined in. "We all could get jobs, maybe a nice house. It'll be fun!"

"We'll probably have to do that before long, but we can't leave just yet." Vash said, dreading what had to be said now.

"Why not? We're done here, aren't we?"

"Not quite…"

"Then what? We've already taken the power from Knives, what's left to do here in this old ship?"

He swallowed hard, it was easier fighting with Knives "I'm next…to be…to have the power pulled from me too." Vash hesitantly said.

"What?"

"Huh?"

"But _why_? You're not dangerous. Why would there be any _need_ to do the same thing to you too?" Meryl demanded.

"_Because_…" He practically pleaded. "I don't _want_ to live forever. I don't want to die either. But I want to be able to live normally. To finally grow old. To die. The thought of it absolutely terrifies me..." he said, fighting against tears while the others listened somberly. "I don't want to _die_. But to stay as I am…to watch all of you, and Knives now too, age one by one and leave me while I'm exactly the same as I am now is just too much. I love you all too much for that. I choose you over eternity. And if death is the price…then so be it…" He finished, staring down at his hands, afraid to look up. No one said a thing. The sound of someone beginning to cry was the only response he got.

"Excuse me." Meryl managed to choke out then ran back inside. Wolfwood motioned for him to follow her then stepped aside and comforted a silently crying Millie. Vash was up as quick as his poor abused body would allow and was chasing after her.

"Meryl! Meryl, please wait!" He called, catching up to her. She stopped abruptly, nearly causing him to collide into her, and latched onto him tightly, burying her face in his chest.

"Please tell me that you're not doing this for me Vash, please tell me." She begged through tears, her voice muffled.

"What? Why? What's so horrible about that?" He softly asked her.

"Don't you dare die because of me; I don't think I could live with that…"

"Please don't think that way. I've had this planned for forty years now. I decided long ago that if I ever did round up Knives that I was going to do it too. I always wondered though…would I have the nerve to?" Quiet sniffles were his reply. "I'm doing this so I can live happily with all of you. To finally have a _normal_ life. Please don't think of it as me dying, but actually having a chance to _live_. Without the issue of time anymore, we can live together without being afraid of the future. It seems like a paradox I know, hehe, but you know what I mean…"

"I…I thought you didn't go around reading peoples minds…"

"I don't. And with you I didn't have to. I just knew. But it won't be a problem much longer. So please, no more tears."

"I'll try."

"Good. And I'll try too! I, uh, got a little worked up too…" He said, wiping at the corners of his eyes.

"You know, you cry more than any man I know."

"Hey. I'm not a crybaby; I'm just really in touch with my emotions, that's all." He playfully protested. She just looked up at him. "Ok, so I'm a big softie. What can you do?"

-L&P-

Damn, everything hurt, Knives sourly thought to himself. Some pacifist you are Vash, I think you broke something. He pulled up his shirt to check his side. Sure enough, a large bruise stretched across his ribs.

"Uaaagh." He groaned to himself. For once, in a month, he actually had some privacy. The cowardly guards had yet to return. Although it was a pointless watch in his opinion. He was a plant, but it wasn't like he could _chew_ through the bars. He hoped they stayed gone for awhile, that way he could lick his wounds in peace and not have someone stare a hole in him. It was kinda fun, in a way, to intimidate that short guard…what was his name…Mike? Whatever. He didn't care what the spiders were called. But damn that was a fun fight!

Knives laughed out loud, pulling his shirt back down. Oh yeah, he was going crazy alright. If he thought that getting his ass kicked, again, was fun then maybe Vash actually had a point about him. He wondered when he would have that opportunity again? It was certainly more interesting than mindless exercising or playing solitaire for hours on end. Although chess…he had yet to beat that woman…Whether he was grudgingly impressed with Millie or absolutely disgusted with himself, he had yet to decide.

She would come around about three times a week to play. While they ended in a stalemate each time she was as delighted after each game as if she had won. Out of everyone that came by to see him she had the least reservations. She would annoyingly yabber on to him about seemingly everything at once. Knives hated to admit it but her naivety was a breath of fresh air against the seriousness of his other visitors. The priest by far being the worst.

Wolfwood would come by once a week, if that. It was almost tradition between the two now to make mutual death threats and show their contempt for one another before beginning their discussion. Sometimes they debated on human nature, religion, philosophy. And every visit ended with Wolfwood storming off in a rage. When he was bored, Knives would sit and think of new insults for the man and look forward to his visit just to see him fume. And speaking of tempers, that woman Meryl had a fuse to match her height. Short.

Aside from his brother, Meryl was his most frequent visitor. As far as topics went, it was anything goes with her. And all it took was one wrong word to set her off. Knives began to see how Vash thought it amusing to annoy her, although Knives doubted that he took it to the level that he did. She was full of the same sentimental idealistic nonsense that Rem and Vash were, but she wasn't so…mushy about it. It was almost tolerable to hear her discuss such things, her contempt for the human race nicely balancing out the righteous bull. Knives'es musing on the others was cut short when the door opened up and Vash walked in.

They stared at each other for a long hard moment then decided it was too much effort to glare. Knives rested back against his pile of blankets and Vash leaned against the door hard, slowly sliding down to the floor.

"You look like hell." Knives flatly commented.

"You've seen better days too." Vash returned.

"You could have at least cleaned yourself up first. You've got blood all over you."

"What? Oh yeah…" Vash said, reaching up and feeling the dried blood on his face.

"Hopeless." Knives muttered. He got up off his bed and went to his pathetic little sink, wetting a rag. "Here." He said throwing it at him.

"Thanks." Vash said catching it. He began to clean himself off while Knives quietly watched. "I didn't hurt you too bad, did I?" He asked when he was done.

"Actually I think you might have cracked a rib or two." Knives said, pulling up his shirt so Vash could see. "Hurts like hell."

"Yikes, sorry about that. We can get it looked at if you want."

"Not a chance. The only way that they would allow me in the infirmary is if I were knocked out. And with as much drugs you've given me I'm surprised I'm not an addict." Vash laughed hard at this. Knives wasn't trying to be funny, but conceded that in a way it was rather amusing.

"You know, I don't think that the two of us have been this roughed up since that time with the thomas's." Vash said once he had settled some.

"True. And as I recall it was you that started that stampede."

"I sneezed. So sue me."

"If I had been in any condition to, I would have throttled you for that."

"That would have something, seeing as how you had broken your arm."

"I'm still pissed about that. So Vash the Stampede…is that where you got your title's inspiration from?"

"Actually that's not the only time that's happened to me."

"You're kidding me…"

"I kid you not. No one believes me when I say that I have the worst luck with those things."

"Vash, you have bad luck with everything."

"True." He conceded.

"Although maybe not so much anymore…"

"Hmm?"

"Common, you know you want to gloat. You've beaten me three times now. That and you've stripped me of my power. Which I'm still puzzling about how you did that…"

"Actually Knives, that's what I've come to talk to you about."

"What…really?"

"I guess there's no point in beating around the bush (where did that expression come from anyway…oh, right! Get on topic!). I don't know if you remember or not, because you were kinda stoned out of your gourd, but I told you that I wouldn't put you through anything that I wouldn't trust enough to do myself?"

"…Vaguely." Knives said after thinking hard for a moment.

"Well I meant it. A lot of the energy we pulled from you was stored so that we would have enough power to run the same procedure on me."

"What! Are you insane? Don't you dare do it Vash! So help me if you do…" Knives threatened, up on his feet despite the pain.

"What?" Vash asked, taken aback and somewhat frightened by this vehement and completely unexpected reaction. "What's wrong?"

"You! You moron! Why in the world would you want to do something like that? You _do_ know what it would mean, don't you?"

"Yes…And I figured that with you always saying that I'm a disgrace to plants you would be glad that I would choose to be human." Vash said, utterly baffled by his brother.

"You are a disgrace, but you're still a plant. If I can't manage to regenerate my power somehow it'll be up to you to communicate with the others and awaken them. You could be putting our entire race in jeopardy with your selfishness!" Knives raged at him. Vash sighed, and they had almost been talking normally too.

"They're better off where they are Knives." He said finally. Before Knives'es shocked disbelief could turn into shouting, Vash continued. "You say you've never been under the 'spell' so you wouldn't know. They're _happy_ where they are. Honestly happy, always. That's a claim that no one else on this planet can make. To take them out would only be cruel. Let them have their peace Knives. Let peace be all that they know. We were torn from innocence into life, it was fate, but it doesn't have to be that way for them. They have their Eden, let them keep it."

The plea fell on deaf ears. The moment that they had shared was broken when the pride and outrage of Knives drove his brother from the room once more.


	9. Rejecting Eternity

**Chapter Nine:**

**Rejecting Eternity**

"Well it's about time!" Wolfwood exclaimed.

"To my defense the Doc had us busy. We had to keep what we were doing to ourselves and I had to keep this secret from everyone. I say I did well under the circumstances." Andy said, somewhat haughtily. The two of them were standing in the hall, outside one of the tech rooms. And it was a room that he had spent all of his free time in for the past few months. If he had known it would be this difficult he would have charged the stranger more. "I didn't have to do this at all you know."

"And I must say I appreciate it. Now gimmie!" Wolfwood said, reaching for his new gun leaning against the wall. With no hope of _ever_ seeing his old one again he had hired one of the crew to make him a new one. And he had to admit as he picked it up resting it on one shoulder; he had really missed the thing.

"Ok, sheesh…I followed your instructions to the letter. Everything's in top shape. I even loaded it for you. But you'll have to get your own handguns to put in there."

"Bless you. I don't think I could have got along without it. It and I are ooold friends. It's the sentimental value, you know?"

"Whatever man. I still think your nuts. What's wrong with a handgun?"

"Handguns don't have rocket launchers." Wolfwood said smugly, walking away. Ahh, it felt good to have that old familiar weight on his shoulder. It felt almost symbolic to him, and fitting. New gun, new life. Wait until the others got a load of this, he thought with a smirk. Everyone else had their little secrets on this ship, it had only seemed fitting that he had his too.

Let's see…spiky would be first on his list. He could even put him on a guilt trip for leaving his last one and con him out of his lunch. Sure, it was do unto others as you would have them do unto you, but what was life without a little mischief? Wolfwood made his way to Knives'es hall. Vash had been on his way to go see Knives when they had parted ways in the hall. That had been about ten minuets ago, so any time now…

The door flew open, startling the guard into dropping his book. Vash stepped out, clearly angry, and slammed the door shut.

"What in the world is wrong with you?" He yelled to Knives through the door. Faintly Wolfwood could hear Knives shouting back. Vash gave one last disgusted look and began to storm away.

"I take it that it went well?" Wolfwood called out to him and picked up his own pace before he could get too far away.

"No it didn't! And I don't…Hey!" He shouted as he turned around and saw what Wolfwood was carrying. "Your gun! But how…?"

"Magic." Wolfwood said mischievously. He repented of the statement, seeing as how Vash'es patience was already worn thin. "Actually I hired one of the guys here to make me a new one. And from what I can tell he did an excellent job. I can't wait to give it a go round. So what's up this time?" He asked with a jerk of the thumb towards the door.

"It's about tomorrow. And he's making his opinion about it _very_ clear." Vash sulked angrily. "You know, for someone who has rarely been around people I wonder where he picked up such a vocabulary."

"Ahhahaha!" Wolfwood burst out laughing despite himself, trying not to drop his new gun. "That's great! Hahahaa!"

"I don't find it very funny." Vash said, then walked off. Wolfwood started out after him.

"Hey wait. Sorry, but it is funny."

"You wouldn't think so if it had been directed at you."

"Actually, I'm kinda used to his mouth by now." Wolfwood said, easily keeping pace with him. "He just does it to get a rise out of you, you know?"

"It's not the profanity Wolfwood, it's what he's going on about."

"Let me guess…you giving up your power?"

"Right. In fact, he seems more upset about my doing it rather than the fact it was done to him. It's odd."

"Your right. That is _strange_. Maybe it's a genetics thing."

"Hmm." Was the flat reply.

"Think about it. Since _he's_ practically human now the next best thing would be to make sure _you_ stay a superior being." Wolfwood mused. Vash stopped walking and turned to him.

"Don't ever call me that. Ever." He said, dead serious.

"Sorry." Wolfwood said, slightly taken aback. Wordlessly Vash walked on. "Hey, I didn't mean it. I was just, you know, thinking from his point of view. Don't take it personally."

"Just drop it."

"I said I was sorry. Is it just me or are you really cranky today? Was it something Knives said?"

"I'm not cranky."

"You are too. Your tone says it all. You've been this way since breakfast. You and short girl haven't been fighting have you?"

"_No_. We have not. I really don't want to talk about it."  
"Tell me, tell me, tell me, tell meeeeeeee." Wolfwood whined. Vash gave him a sour look.

"If you must know, I'm upset today because I had a nightmare last night."

"You're kidding me right?"

"What?"

"You're all bent out of shape because of a nightmare?" Wolfwood laughed.

"It wasn't the nightmare itself Wolfwood. It was the fact that I woke up aiming directly at her. She was just trying to wake me up and I nearly killed her. I'm gonna have to unload this thing before going to bed from now on…" He said distantly, rubbing his wrist.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pick at you. I didn't know…"

"It's alright."

"You're probably just tense about tomorrow, that's all."

"I wish. I have nightmares often. But since we're on this topic of tomorrow, I have something I want to show you that I haven't shown anybody else."

"Ooooh? What is it?"

"You'll see. Just follow me."

He followed Vash into one of the sealed off areas of the ship. The power for this level was entirely shut off so they had to rely on a flashlight to find their way. As they went deeper in, Wolfwood's curiosity grew. What could there possibly be that he wanted to show him so deep in this metal monster. He was on the verge of asking again, when Vash spoke up.

"Just in case you're wondering, it's so out of the way because I want it to keep hidden. In fact, the only other person that knows about this is the Doc, but only I have access."

"What is this 'it'? And why so secretive?"

"It's what I created. And its been kept under wraps because if Knives had ever found out…That's no longer a threat obviously, but it still needs to stay secret. Well…until tomorrow that is. The Doc may know his men, but unfortunately I have trust issues. If any of this were allowed to leave the ship I'm afraid of what the results would be."

"You're not being very clear about this." Wolfwood pointed out, his interest growing. Ahh, nothing like a good mystery!

"The procedure that we put Knives through and what I'll be going through tomorrow isn't the true source of his change. It only enables it and enforces the change."

"So help me Vash, if you don't tell me right now…"

"Oh, hold your horses Wolfwood. Here we are." He said, entering in a code into an active door panel.

"What's a horse?" He asked. Vash laughed then stepped on inside, Wolfwood instep behind him. Unlike the dark halls, this room was lit. It was small, nearly bare, and only ten square heels. Set against the far wall was a monitor and a steel cylindrical column. Vash walked up to the computer and began entering in information. Wolfwood stepped up to observe the column. It wasn't solid, it had seams and such. It almost looked as if…The middle section turned with a hydraulic hiss, causing Wolfwood to reflexively jump back. The column had opened up in the front.

"What's that thing?" He asked, slightly angry at being frightened.

"Think of it as a safe…for this." Vash said, reaching in and pulling out a little ampoule. He held it up for Wolfwood to see. It held a translucent yellow liquid, and it was only half full.

"What is it?" He asked, reaching for it.

"Un-uh." Vash said, pulling it back. "Can't touch. No offence."

"Ok. So what is it?"

"This is what I engineered. It took me years and years to get it right. It's a poison. A genetic poison. Once this stuff enters a plants bloodstream it deteriorates them until they die. Being a delicate biological system, non ATP energy production is the first thing that's crippled. This stuff spreads throughout the entire body, targeting the DNA in every single cell. The damage it causes is irreversible, almost a chain reaction. Existing cells are damaged, and then new cells are produced. Those in turn are damaged. And it continues on and on until the DNA sequence is destroyed altogether."

"Uhhh…"

"It simulates aging."

"Oooh…I get it. That's why you didn't want this stuff to leave the ship. Those fanatical terrorist technophobes would love to get their hands on something like this. It's like…death to plants."

"Exactly. The moment I inject this stuff…my death warrant is signed. I guess I'll be committing suicide after all…"

"So what would happen if I were to take that stuff?"

"Nothing at all. I engineered it to target my DNA; it would be ineffective against humans. I made sure of that. And since all plants are the same…"

"This is morbid stuff Vash. I mean really…"

"I know…" Vash said, replacing the vial and sealing the chamber once more. "But I've made up my mind. Don't try to talk me out of it."

"It never crossed my mind to Vash." He said quietly. "I'm sure you've made your peace with this."

"I have. And as frightening as it is, actually it's a huge relief!" He laughed.

"I can understand that."

"I uh…I have something serious to ask you now." Vash hesitantly began.

"What? And our conversation thus far has been _light_?"

"I'm serious. Tomorrow there's going to be some risk involved. And if something were to happen…"

"I will." Wolfwood said solemnly.

"Huh?"

"Knives. I'll take care of him. Promise."

"Thank you."

-L&P-

"And then, after I lost that pawn, I had to sacrifice my rook to get his knight, but that's ok I knew what I was doing. I thought he was going to go after my queen but he took my other rook instead trying to get me into check." Millie rambled out excitedly. Meryl listened patiently as they stood in line in the mess hall. Many were getting their food and leaving, the place having a good number of chairs and tables missing, courtesy of the dueling brothers.

"You know I don't know that much about chess Millie…"

"Oh but I'm just getting to the good part! I took his pawn and put him in check! The only way to get out was to sacrifice his queen, but it still didn't save him! Two moves later and checkmate! I can't believe that I actually, honest to goodness, really really really beat him!"

"I bet he was angry." Meryl said. She could just imagine his furious response.

"Not as bad as you would think. He only swore a little bit then picked up a book and started to ignore me. I expected a lot more. It kinda confused me."

"He's probably preoccupied about tomorrow." And that's probably why he lost, but Meryl was too kind to tell Millie so. "I think we all are."

"Yeah, but until then I'm going to tell everybody I know that I won. No…that would just be gloating and mean. I'll only tell Nic and Vash, yeah that's what I'll do. Where are they anyway?"

"I don't know about both of them but I see one coming. And hey! Isn't that…"

"Why hello ladies." Wolfwood said strolling up, ignoring the dirty looks he got from skipping ahead in line. "Well? What do you think? Just like my old one huh?" He said sitting the cross down.

"You got a new one! That's great!" Millie cheered, inspecting it. "I think it looks better than your old one. This one's all new and shiny! And yup…it has the same amount of mercy in it too." She said picking it up. Wolfwood laughed at the old joke. Meryl just rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, it took ages but I'm glad to have it back. Oh and before you two ask, needle noggin is currently at a doctor's appointment."

"Huh?" The girls asked simultaneously. Wolfwood sighed; no one got his jokes…

"He's with short man."

"Oh, well he had better hurry. They just got some apples in today and they're going to go fast." Meryl said.

"They have _what_? Move aside people, coming through!" Wolfwood shouted, pushing his way to the front. Millie sighed.

"He's yours you know."

"I know. And I wouldn't have him any other way. Besides, I have no room to talk. I kinda maybe snuck the last of the cookie packs last night."

"Millie!"

"_What_? I was hungry." She pouted. "And they were chocolate chip too. Nobody can resist the power of chocolate. Not even Knives."

"Am I the only one in the bunch that doesn't have a sweet tooth?" Meryl sighed. Her only vice was caffeine. Aside from the occasional ice cream she just didn't see the appeal of sweets.

"Here! Catch!" Wolfwood called out from across the line. Meryl caught the apple; it was a deep golden color. "Just in case he doesn't make it."

"You're not eating with us?" Millie called out to him.

"Are you kidding? I'm gonna go test this baby out!"

"Ooh! Teach me how to shoot it! Please please please please pleeeeese?" Millie begged, lunch forgotten. So much for company, Meryl though dully as they left her. She didn't want to eat alone so she dropped out of the line. She walked through the halls, tossing the apple up in the air then catching it again.

She wasn't in the mood to go see Knives right now. Her last visit had ended in an all out shouting match. She couldn't even recall what he had been yelling at her, she was too preoccupied at screaming at him. It had probably the other way around as well. Sometimes she just wanted to throttle that man. It was times like these when she would go do paper work, but that was a no go. If only they could finally get out of here and back into the world…

A good trip outside sounded nice. She decided to go hunt down Vash and force him to go shooting with her. Millie and Wolfwood would be happy for the company as well. It had been some time since they all had gone out together and had mindless fun like that…

"If only that whiny, annoying, egotistical, arrogant, foul mouthed, pathetic excuse for a man would actually get over himself and quit thinking that he's the center of the universe then we could leave and have all the fun we wanted. But noooo…he has to insist on staying stuck in that selfish childish state of mind and do nothing but cause problems for us all. Ooh he makes me so _mad_…" She ranted quietly to herself on her way to the Docs personal lab. Judging from Wolfwood's statement, that would be the most logical place to start looking in this metal maze.

The door was shut. She knocked and pressed her ear to the door. So what if the lock panel had little speakers? She was old fashioned…or rather…new fashioned…whatever.

"Whoever it is come in! I could use a little help!" The old man's voice called out from inside. Curious, she stepped on inside.

"What in the world is going on?" She demanded, slightly horrified.

"Never mind that miss, just grab some gauze and help me out. I only have two hands after all." The small man muttered, obviously flustered.

"Oh, hiya Meryl." Vash turned waved sheepishly from his seat. His voice was strained and he was worryingly pale. And it was no wonder; blood was streaming down his side from the grate and beginning to drip onto the floor.

"What happened!" She cried out throwing the apple aside and doing as the Doc asked, reaching for the medical supplies.

"It's nothing serious…" Vash faintly began, trying to reassure her.

"Don't you dare tell me it's not serious!"

"You couldn't have come at a better time dear." The Doc stepped in. "These are bleeding more than I had expected and I can't put pressure on the wounds and remove these at the same time." He said, indicating the steel grafts.

"You're removing the metal…but why?" She asked, quickly putting pressure on the three bleeding openings.

"Cause I have to…for tomorrow…" Vash said through gritted teeth as the Doc began working on removing the next bolt that held the metal to him. There was the nauseating sound of metal grinding against bone.

"Tomorrow? But what to these have to do with tomorrow?"

"It's just a precaution, but if we need to revive him as we did Knives, we need to have all these removed." He said, setting aside the bolt.

"The metal would…interfere with the current…Just keep your fingers…crossed that I…I won't need it…"

"But what about your arm? What are you going to do about that?" She asked, putting pressure on the forth opening as well.

"That will be fine; it's only in the torso area that we need to worry about."

"And besides…you have no idea….how annoying these are. They can really itch. I'll be glad to have….them gone…" He tried to joke, failing miserably. A sickening crunch and a sharp cry of pain later the steel mesh fell free.

"One down…" the Doc said heavily, beginning to perspire.

"And more to go…"

"Let's get these bandaged up before moving on." Meryl suggested, reaching for the bandages.

"No not yet. We're not done here."

"But why? What else is there to do?"

"Some of these, such as this one, are not ready to be removed. We can't leave the metal in but we can use a temporary plastic replacement."

"Now I remember why I put it…off until the last minuet…Soo much fun…"

"Now. I've told you once and I'm going to tell you again for good measure…even though there will be temporary settings in place you by no means, allowed to do anything serious. No lifting, no running, and for goodness sake, no more fighting."

"Believe me, I don't plan on it."

After all the metal was removed, two temporary settings were put into place, and he was patched up both Meryl and the Doc insisted that he go lay down. He wanted to argue that he was fine but was too tired and in too much pain to put up much of a fight.

Admitting defeat, he left her and the Doc behind to clean up his mess. Halfway to their room he changed direction. He would get scolded for it for sure, but if he went to bed now he would probably be out until tomorrow and by then it would be too late. After knocking, Vash stepped on inside.

"Get out. I want nothing to do with you." Knives snapped, his face still heavily bruised. He was already healing at a slower pace, Vash noted.

"That was fast. At least wait until I get all the way in before trying to drive me out." Vash tiredly said, slowly and carefully sitting down.

"What's wrong?" Knives asked noticing the strange way he moved, his voice taking on a strange note.

"It's nothing to worry about. Just a little…outpatient surgery. That's all."

"What happened?" He demanded. "Who was it?"

"It's nothing like that. Just getting ready for tomorrow. Thank you for worrying though."

"Ha. Don't flatter yourself." Knives spat at him. Vash frowned but said nothing. "So…you're actually going to do this?"

"For the fifty second time Knives, yes. And I don't feel up to arguing with you, so could you give it a rest? Ok?" Knives couldn't think of an immediate response so he just glared.

"Hmm." He said after several minuets of silence. "Since you don't want to discuss one of the worst decisions of your life, what do you want to talk about?"

"I don't know. You pick. I'm all talked out."

"That's a first."

"Meh." Was the apathetic reply to the insult.

"Alright. When are you going to let me out of here?"

"When I can trust you."

"And how do I go about earning your trust?"

"Well for starters, don't go asking untrustworthy questions like that."

"Grrr….You can't keep me in here forever."

"I will if I have to. I don't _want_ to. It breaks my heart to see you like this, but I won't let you kill people Knives."

"You can't force your views and way of life on me. It's wrong. I can think for myself and I've chosen. You don't lock up every malevolent human you come by. And you've practically reduced me to human status so why me?" Knives asked him. Vash looked at him searchingly, puzzled. There had been no anger, no sarcasm. It was a simple, honest, question.

"Because you're my brother Knives. I may care for those people but I don't love them. Not like I do you. And I'm not trying to force my way of life on you, I just want you to see. To understand. You're never happy, but I know you could be. I don't expect you to clown around like I do, but I would like you to lighten up some. You're too serious. With you it's always been all or nothing. In some aspects I admire that about you but it can't be applied to everything in life. There's surviving and then theirs _living_. And yes, there is a difference. I just want you to see that."

"Somebody's in full blown mushy mode today." Knives commented, dryly amused.

"Ah, blame it on the pain. It makes me sensitive."

"Pun intended?"

"What do you think?"

"Go on. Get. If your going to start with the sentimental stuff I don't want you around and I don't want to have to listen to you snore if you pass out on me. So shoo…"

"I don't snore…" Vash said indignantly. At least…he didn't think he did. He would have to ask.

"Look. You are getting on my nerves. I have already had enough of you earlier today. And for the record I'm still pissed, and I still think you're an idiot for doing this. But since you're _always_ right and I'm the poor misguided soul that needs correction, my opinion means nothing."

"I've tried to explain my reasons to you but you didn't want to hear any of it. Remember this morning…"

"Yeah. How can I forget? It's for _them_." He said with disgust. "I don't want to hear it. And I am warning you, you have no idea what you're doing. But _you_ don't want to hear it. So leave. Go!"

"Alrighty already cranky. I'm going…" Vash said getting up and going to the door. He paused before leaving. "Knives?"

"What is it _now_?" Knives sighed.

"It's nothing…never mind."

"What? Tell me."

"No. It was just a silly question. You would just get annoyed. Sorry." He said and quickly left before Knives could press the matter further. It had been a passing thought. _No_, Vash corrected himself; it would more accurately be described as a passing wish.

Perhaps all the outrage and the nearly incessant pressing for him to not go through with this wasn't about the other plants or him living with people at all. Maybe it was just simply for him. What if it was all because Knives was worried? Would that be too much to hope for, that his brother was concerned for his well being? Vash didn't ask because…he didn't want to be told otherwise, that, no, Knives didn't care about him. He would have only denied the fact anyway on the remote chance that it was true. Whether it was wistfulness or intuition, the thought wouldn't leave him, following him even into his dreams.

-L&P-

"Is it just me or is anyone else getting déjà vu?' Vash asked the others as they walked toward number one after their small breakfast on the balcony.

"Yeah well it had better not be a repeat performance or I really will kick you ass this time." Wolfwood threatened Vash, who in turn just laughed.

"You seem very relaxed about his." Millie noted. "Not like last time."

"You know, it's funny. I was more scared last time because I didn't know what was going to happen but with this I know what's going to happen and I'm fine. Even though I know it's going to be rough. Or maybe I'm just crazy. What do you guys think?"

"I always knew you had a screw lose somewhere." Meryl picked, trying hard to keep the light mood going. Rough wasn't the word she would have chosen to describe it. He said he knew but he really didn't know. He didn't have to watch Knives. She just wished this whole episode were over with _now_.

"A screw lose? He's lost the whole tool box."

"Your one to talk Wolfwood. Why are you carrying that thing around in here?"

"Its _mine_. I just got it back. And it's none of your business. And do I detect a hint of hypocrisy, Mr. Gunman? Why do you have that, huh?" He accused, pointing at the gun in the holster.

"Old habits die hard."

"Likewise."

"Yeah but mine doesn't weigh a ton."

"It's not my fault that you're a wimp."

"Hey!"

"Will you two knock it off? We're here already." Meryl snapped, opening the doors. Several crew members looked up briefly then went back to checking everything.

"Well…I guess its show time." Wolfwood said moving to a chair at the control station. "Did anybody think to bring…HEY! What the!" He shouted, standing straight up after settling down in a seat. A black cat spat at him for being sat on then ran off into the shadows. "Damn pest…"

"You know you guys don't have to stick around. I'm sure you would rather not see this." Vash said, removing his coat and draping it over a chair, taking off the holster as well.

"Don't be silly!' Millie scolded, shaking her finger in his face. "We're your friends and were going to be here for you no matter what."

"But really the only thing you can do is watch. And it's going to take forever."

"Shush! Not another word! We're staying and that's that. Do you hear me mister?" Millie demanded, taking on a threatening tone.

"I would listen to her. She doesn't look like the type to take no for an answer." The Doc said, joining them.

"Yes ma'am…" He tried to sulk, but was happy knowing that they would be there for them.

"I've just got through checking and everything is in order. Once again, we are ready when you are." The Doc said.

"I told you guys…déjà vu. Lemme get my shirt off…a kiss for luck…'kay, I'm ready." He said walking up with the little man to the platform.

"Have you already…" The Doc began.

"Yup. Did it this morning." Vash said, rubbing the pinprick at the nook of his elbow.

"You do know that we are going to have to restrain you as well?"

"I know…" He whined. "And I've already told all of them so they won't have a fit. But their still not happy about it. Could you do me a favor though Doc? Make sure that they're alright. They don't act it, but I can tell they're really worried."

"You wish to make me a hypocrite?" The Doc asked as he and two others began attaching the adapting equipment. He got a frown in reply. "Alright…I will do my best. But I think we all will be relived when this is finally over."

"Then lets not waste anymore time." Vash said solemnly. Just as they had done with Knives, he was strapped down completely immobile to the floor, hands out in front of him. They had no choice to but to put on the restraining collar as well to insure that he would not pull anything loose should he try and fight against the machine.

Vash tried to give his most reassuring smile to the three waiting up at the control station, but considering his current situation he could only imagine at how bad he failed at it. Yes, he had tried to act like it was nothing around the others, but he wasn't crazy like he had joked earlier. He was plenty nervous, a nervousness that rose to new heights as the assistants stepped away after sealing the glass, signifying the start. But despite whatever happened in the hours to come, he would not back down and would regret nothing. This was how he wanted it to be.

The machines hummed to life. Nearly immediately an unpleasant, but bearable, sensation ran through him. It was like an electrical current, a mixture of pain, itching, and a tickle all in one. He was forced to close his eyes tightly as the ultra bright luminescence began. This…this wasn't like the other time. This feeling was closer to the one he had originally feared while being used as a power source. It was so bright…and the longer the strange sensation went on the more aching it began to feel. Still, he would not back down. Never. He did his best to hide his face from the light and listened to his own breathing. And waited.

-L&P-

"How long has it been now?"

"You just asked that ten minuets ago Meryl."

"Just tell me Nicholas."

"Seven hours now. Now here, take the watch. Your not helping my headache any."

"I told you that you shouldn't have looked at him directly." Millie scolded. "Do you want any aspirin?"

"No I'm fine. Hey Doc!" Wolfwood called to him, even though he was only two chairs away. "What's taking so long? We're at seven hours now. This was about how Knives was at five." He said pointing to Vash, who was still enveloped in the hazy light. He had his head bowed, almost as if he were sleeping. But they all knew better, judging by the heavy breathing.

"My guess would be is because that he is not fighting it as Knives had." The Doc said, slightly annoyed with the man.

"Oh, yeah…I remember him talking about that now."

"Well how do we tell him? Should we tell him?" Millie asked.

"I'm not good at charades. Don't look at me."

"Just leave him alone." Meryl snapped. "He already knows this. Don't pester him."

"Meryl, maybe you need to go take a break…" Millie began. "It's been a long time and you haven't left even once. You could use a cup of coffee. And Nic here could use some aspirin, even though he says he doesn't."

"Because I don't."

"Please, please, pleeease?"

"Alright, don't have a fit. Actually…I was going to go take a break anyway."

"Really? Ok then. And get me a coffee too please?" Millie called to her on her way out. Meryl leaned heavily against the cold steel after she had closed the doors. This was excruciating to have to watch, and the worst was to come. Truth be told, she had something else in mind other than fetching coffee. She only hoped her idea would work and she could offer a small measure of comfort.

Leaving number one and bypassing the mess hall altogether, she went to their room. She reminded herself to apologize for snooping later and began to pilfer around in his bag until she found what she was looking for. The pen. He had forgotten to remove the communicator this time. The glass he was in was soundproof but perhaps this would work. She hesitated for a moment, a brief moment, then twisted the cap, turning it on.

Immediately the little device began to transmit the sounds of slow labored breathing. He was hurting, and beginning to tire. Hesitantly she spoke into it.

"H-hello?"

"…Meryl?" He quietly asked, surprised.

"Hey. Yeah it's me."

"I forgot…about this thing. Where are you at?...I don't see you anywhere."

"I'm back at the room. I just remembered this and went to go get it."

"They don't know?"

"No. They think I'm after coffee."

"Heh…you're so stingy with me…I love it…How are you doing?"

"I was going to ask you the same thing." She said, sitting down on the bed.

"Been…better. It's starting to…get to me a little now. I'm so tired."

"I know you are and I'm so sorry."

"It's ok. My choice. Remember? Please…whatever happens…don't forget your promise."

"I know…I won't make them stop."

"Good." He breathed out. It was more of a sigh than a word. "How's others?"

"They're all worried. Millie's trying to talk it off and failing miserably. Wolfwood is covering up his concern with his temper, as usual." She heard a pained laugh from the device. "And the Doc is the picture of stoicism."

"And…you?"

"I'm doing fine."

"You're such…a bad liar."

"Honestly? I'm worried sick about you. It's killing me to have you like this. I just wanted to talk to you. To know how you were doing. If I can distract you from it even in the slightest than I want to try. Please let me help." She begged him, wiping at the corners of her eyes.

"You are…just hearing you is enough…"

"Good."

"You know? Its going to be weird…being normal…I wonder if I…can pull it off?"

"Vash, as long as you're you, you'll never be normal. And we all love you for it." She heard him try to laugh; it was painful to have to hear.

"You're…right. I'll always be odd…I don't even have a…last name. The Stampede just…doesn't quiet cut it." She laughed.

"You have a point. How about you adopt a last name?"

"…Might just do that…but which one?"

"You have your pick of any name out there. Do any appeal to you?"

"I uh…well…I have thought of one."

"And?"

"I don't know…she wasn't really…my mother but I can't…help but think of her that way…What do you think of…Saverem?" He asked hesitantly.

"I think its fitting. I bet she would be honored that you would choose her name. And it's such a pretty name too."

"Really? You like it?"

"I do."

"Is it a name that…you would be interested in…having too?" She froze. Was she hearing things or did he just…

"Meryl?"

"Did you mean…"

"Yeah…I know that this isn't…the best time…I swear I'll ask you properly…once I'm out…I just wanted…"

"Of course." She said, cutting him off. "I would love to have that name. I really would."

"Good." He said, she could hear the relief on his voice. "I was worried…that you wouldn't. Don't ask…me why…I just was."

"You worry too much." She said, smiling. He had actually asked her. She didn't know whether she wanted to laugh or cry.

"Meryl?"

"Yes Vash?"

"I need you to…do something…for me…"

"What?"

"You won't…like it…"

"What?" She asked, becoming concerned.

"Please…turn this off…"

"But…"

"I know! I'm sorry…But…I can't…I'm getting…Just please turn it off!" He begged her, on the verge of tears.

"…Alright"

"I'm sorry…"

"I understand. Until later. I love you."

"I love you too." She faintly heard before switching the device off. Tossing the pen back in the bag, she left for number one at a run.

-L&P-

He tried to fight what he was doing, but his body had a mind of its own. It had started while he had been talking to her. Just a simple twitch of the arm. That's all. Until he pulled again at the restrains. And again. The next thing he knew he was fighting to break free. He had begged her to turn off the transmitter. He didn't what her to hear him suffer. And he couldn't risk breaking down and begging her to free him. He just couldn't. And the temptation was growing.

A distant detached part of himself was shocked at what he was doing. Vash tried to make himself stop but ended up struggling even more desperately. It was pure survival instinct spurring him on. He had done his best to remain calm and quiet through the entire ordeal, but couldn't fight it any longer. In vain he pulled to be free.

He knew he was dying. The deep aching pain and utter weariness pressing down on him told him so. It wasn't an entirely unfamiliar sensation. Now it was a fight to stay alive against the will to finish what he knew needed to be done. He was thankful though that the decision had already been made and was now out of his hands.

After of what seemed like ages of struggling he finally quit. Exhausted. With a tremendous effort he looked up. They were all there, at the control panel. And not one of them was looking at him. They simply did not have the heart to. Wolfwood sat leaning forward, his face hid in one hand. He looked so tired. The Doc was continuously going over the consoles, but Vash doubted that he was actually reading them. Millie was clinging onto Meryl for all she was worth. Like a living security blanket, he thought trying to smile. And Meryl allowed herself to be held, her pained gaze never lifting from the floor. Unable to look up any longer, he slumped back over.

Is this what you had to endure Knives? I didn't know. I'm so sorry, Vash thought faintly. If only I had known…I would have let you sleep through the whole thing. No wonder you hate me. No wonder you're not worried about me. You probably see it as fitting that should hurt too after what I did to you. I can't…I'm so sorry…sorry…

-L&P-

Not one person said a word. No one got up, no one fidgeted. They just waited. They all knew that it wouldn't be long now. It was now approaching the tenth hour. They couldn't decide which was worse: seeing him fight to be free or him staying still. Either way…they knew that it wouldn't be long.

No one so much as flinched when the alarms rang out; it was almost as if they had collectively sensed its coming. The machine was switched off and the crew was on their feet and moving even before the glass had finished fracturing. They quickly tossed away the ruined pieces of glass and began to free the still figure before them.

"This is it…" Millie whispered, holding onto Meryl even tighter. The attachments were pulled off and callously tossed aside. The crew men moved him to a shard free area where the Med Tech immediately began to examine him.

"No good! Bring it!" He loudly ordered his assistant.

"Oh no…"

"Damn it." Wolfwood growled, standing up. The four of them stood at the control station, scarcely daring to breathe, while the man performed the resuscitation process.

And failed.

They watched with growing horror as the tried again and again to revive him. Immediately they ran out onto the floor.

"What's wrong…"

"The hell…

"Why?"

"Can't you…"

"Just back off people and let me do my job!" The Med Tech screamed at them, ordering several others to keep them back.

"Justin! What's wrong?" The Doc demanded.

"He's just not responding Doc. I think you guys left him in there too long."

"Don't say that! Don't just sit there! Save him!" Meryl shouted at him, verging on hysterics. Millie held her back.

"I intend to. Now back away! Everybody!" Justin ordered. Obediently they all stepped back and watched the terrible scene unfold before them. "Clear!" He shouted, applying the electrical current. Vash jerked in a brief arching spasm then fell back to the floor. Nothing. Justin tired again. And again. Finally he sat back, head bowed in defeat.

"No, no, no, no, no…."

"_Hell_…"

"No, _please_. Isn't there anything you can do?"

"…No. He was just too tired." Justin said heavily.

All the strength seemed to leave her legs, causing Meryl to fall to her knees. No…this couldn't be happening. It wasn't supposed to end like this, she desperately thought. Not like this, not now. He couldn't die, no…Not right after he had just asked her to spend the rest of her life with him. No. She was vaguely aware of someone pulling her away.

Never again would she see him. No more smiles, no more tears. Never again would she hear him. No more of that annoying laugh, no more hearing her name. Gone. They would never have the chance to spend the uncertain but hopeful future together, telling each other their dreams, wishes, thoughts. No…she refused to live without him. There was no possible way she could live out the rest of her life with a scar like this on her heart. She just couldn't.

Wait…scars?

It came back to her in a rush, their intimate conversation weeks ago. That was it. That was why. She broke away from her escort and scooped up a shard of the broken glass, oblivious to it cutting deep into her palm.

"NO Meryl! Drop it!" Millie said grabbing her by her wrists.

"Let me go! Let me go now!" She demanded desperately, struggling against Millie's iron grip.

"Meryl stop, he's gone…" Millie sobbed out, forcefully lifting her up and pulling her back while Wolfwood tried to pry the glass out of her hand.

"No you don't understand! It's not too late! Let me GO!"

"I'm sorry but there's nothing more I can _do_. He's gone." Justin told her sadly.

"No! He told me! You have to let me go. There's still metal!"

"What? What did you say?" The Doc asked her sharply.

"In his back! There's more metal. He told me, I felt it! That's why it's not working! I know where it's at! I can get it!"

"Do it!" He commanded her. The two released her. She ran over and dropped to her knees beside of him, trying to ignore how horribly pale he was. As she struggled to roll him over, numerous helping hands did the task for her. She immediately sought out the scar he had shown her that one morning. But there were so many…

Pressing down hard on one she thought was it, she could feel the mass underneath. This was the one. Silently apologizing for what she had to do, she cut deep into his back with the sharp fragment. As she did she felt it run over something hard. Violently tossing away the glass, she felt into the deep cut until her questing fingers found what she wanted.

Pulling it free, she looked at the bloody object in her bleeding palm: it was an old broken off bolt. Still staring at it, she felt someone take a hold of her and quickly pull her away from him. Distantly she heard Justin shout something then a few seconds later he gave out a cry of elation. A sound that was loudly echoed throughout the room.

She looked up to see him being moved to a stretcher. Bleeding. Breathing. Alive. Then everything went black.

-L&P-

This was beginning to get very annoying, Knives fumed. It had been hours since he's seen or heard from anybody. Even the in-room guard had been absent for a quite some time now. If they were going to keep him caged then the _least_ they could do was tell him what was going on out there.

Oh he _knew_ what was going on; he just didn't know _how_ it was going. Vash had come in early that morning, waking him up. He had wanted to talk about something before he had to go, but Knives had run him off. He was simply too furious with Vash to have anything to do with him. What his brother would be doing that day…he just couldn't stand it. Giving up everything on some emotional whim. It was just too much. That fool, he thought bitterly pacing about.

Hours now. Hours! And no one had come by. Was _anyone_ going to come by? In the midst of his 'perfect' brother's ordeal, had he been completely forgotten? Had anyone thought about him, just once? He kicked his bed hard. It didn't matter. None of them did. He was used to being alone…

Knives kicked his bed even more violently this time. He looked up as his door opened. The person who stepped in was none other than Wolfwood. Silently, the priest closed the door behind him, all the while avoiding eye contact with Knives. Wordlessly he fished around in his pockets for a moment then pulled out a match. Then a cigarette.

"I though you had quit that." Knives commented, watching as Wolfwood lit up and slowly blew out smoke.

"I think I'm entitled to this one." He said, taking another drag. "I need this one. A few shots wouldn't hurt either."

"Could you not do that in here?" Knives asked, struggling not to cough. He wouldn't give the man the satisfaction of it. "Just because you have no problems about ruining your lungs doesn't mean that I want mine full of tar as well."

"…Yeah. Fine. Its not as good as I remember anyway." Wolfwood said putting it out on his heel. Knives quietly watched him, surprised that he actually did as he asked. "I suppose you want to know what happened, huh?'

"Yes." He simply said, forgoing the sarcasm for once.

"Where do I even start…" Wolfwood sighed wearily. "Well…at first everything went fine. He was in there two hours longer than you were though."

"He didn't fight it, I assume?"

"No. Well…not until the end anyway."

"And…" Knives pressed. Anger and worry began to flair up when Wolfwood didn't answer him. "AND?" Knives demanded even louder this time.

"Just like with you, his heart stopped. Only… this time…they couldn't get it going again…"

It felt as if someone had just hit him in the stomach. Knives refused to show even the faintest flicker of emotion, but he honestly wanted to lean against something for support. Instead he settled for giving the man a flat stare. Vash was…gone?

"You don't give a damn, do you?" Wolfwood misinterpreted, seeing Knives'es cold expression.

"Should I?"

"There truly is no hope for you." He said sadly.

"Whoever said that there was? I would sooner die, and him too, than to be like you creatures."

"Then it would probably only annoy you to know that thanks to some quick thinking on short girl's part, we managed to revive him. He's over in the infirmary right now."

"Hmm."

"Is that all you can say? We nearly lost your brother! Don't you care about that even in the slightest?"

"Of course I care. And I'm glad that he's alive too. If he weren't I wouldn't get the chance to kill him myself."

"Damn you." Wolfwood spat then left without a single look back.

Once Knives was sure the man was gone, he sat down heavily on his bed. He propped his elbows on his knees and hid his face in his hands. I told you not to idiot, now look what almost happened. Why couldn't you have just listened to me for once? And if you thought that was bad…the worst is yet to come. I tried to spare you from it, but you chose them over me. I hate you…but don't you _dare_ die on me. Don't. Don't leave me all alone here.

**A/N:** I beg forgiveness for being a day late in posting, I was having computer problems. Another shorter chapter but remember...not all chapters are made equal.


	10. Wingless

**A/N: **And this chapter, my few but faithful, is the main reason I gave this story the rating that I did. You have been warned.

**Chapter Ten:**

**Wingless**

Wolfwood and the girls quietly sat at one of the few available tables in the mess hall. They were the only occupants at the moment. It was two days after that near tragedy and they still haven't quite relaxed yet. It was dark and gloomy in the mess hall but it was silently agreed that they wait until the forth member of their little group was able to join them again before going out to their usual spot to eat. He still hadn't woken up yet and they were beginning to get concerned.

"Is it just me, or does this taste particularly nasty today?" Millie asked, looking sadly down at the unappealing continents of her bowl.

"It's nasty." Wolfwood agreed. "I think it's because everyone's already ate up the good stuff. We're down to the crud now." He said frowning at his own meal. That and nobody has the heart to enjoy anything right now, he thought to himself.

"I used to think that eating this stuff was better than going hungry, but starvation's looking pretty appealing right now." Meryl said. She was having difficulties eating, being forced to use her left hand. Not that she was in any rush to eat the clumpy paste mind you.

"I think you're right Meryl. What do you two say that we make a break for town later? Go get something good to eat?" Millie asked. She got halfhearted shrugs and ambivalent responses in reply. "Yeah, I don't want to go either…"

They fell into silence once more. Everybody was just so darn tense, Wolfwood thought. And no wonder, with what had nearly happened. Just as he had before, he had taken responsibility for seeing over Knives, who, amazingly, was actually behaving. By behaving, he meant not throwing tantrums (or food). He wasn't talking though, at least, not to him. He wasn't sure if Millie had been to see Knives or not, but he knew that except for meal times from the moment that Meryl had woke up she hadn't left Vash'es side.

"So how's the hand short girl?" He asked her, trying to get a conversation going.

"Huh?" She asked, obviously shaken from a thought. "Oh, sorry. Well, um, it doesn't hurt much, not anymore at least."

"You know, that was really quick thinking on your part. Honestly though, I thought you were out to kill yourself whenever you went for the glass. You sure surprised us all."

"It was actually thinking along those lines that made me remember in the first place. And I'm glad that I did remember in time…"

"Yeah Meryl! I'm so glad that you saved him! I'm just sorry that you hurt your hand in the process though."

"I don't mind, really. It's only a small price to pay. But the stitches are absolutely driving me crazy. It's all I can do not to scratch at them."

"You can say that again. I know _exactly_ what you're talking about." Wolfwood empathetically agreed. "Stitches are a mother to put up with. I would rather it hurt than itch."

"I don't know. You hurt enough and you start to pray for anything else, no matter how annoying." A new voice said. They all turned as one to the door. The person leaning heavily on the doorway was none other than the one that had been on all their minds. He was dressed in the loose fitting infirmary clothes, the white fabric only amplifying his pallor. He looked as if he were moments away from falling over.

"Vash! What are you doing up so soon! You should still be in bed. Does the doctor know that you've left?" Meryl asked, nasty food forgotten. Despite her scolding she ran up to him and embraced him lightly. She ended up holding him up some as he embraced her back, leaning on her. "You scared me so badly! I swear if you ever do something like that to me again…"

"Your hand…" He faintly began.

"We've missed you so much! You have no idea how worried we were!" Millie cried, joining in as well.

"Uh thanks…although I don't quite know what you're talking about. Please…not so tightly. I don't feel so good." He said, completely leaning on the girls for support now.

"I'd say not. You probably shouldn't be up so soon." Wolfwood said coming up as well.

"I know, I know. But I hate sitting around in bed. I shouldn't…Wait, I need to sit down. And I mean now." He weakly said, sinking out of their grip into the floor.

"Are you alright! What's wrong?"

"I don't know…I don't feel good…It hurts…My back and…everything else too." He said, hiding his face in his hands. The three quickly exchanged worried glances.

"Tell me what's wrong. Maybe we can get something to help you." Meryl said crouching down beside of him, gently trying to pull away his hands. She paused when she felt his skin. "Vash…your freezing." She felt his face as well. "Oh my God…You're so cold!"

"So…this is what being cold feels like…It sucks." He tried to laugh but it came out sounding more like a sob. "It's not just that…" He went on. "I know I'm not supposed to feel _good_ but I feel like somebody took me apart and put me back together wrong…I don't know what's happing…did Knives show anything like this?"

"No. He didn't. We should go get short man, maybe he can help. You shouldn't have even left the infirmary." Wolfwood said.

"I know. But I thought I was hungry. But I'm not anymore, in fact…I think…I…" There was a scramble to find a usable trash bin. Wolfwood picked one up, dumped the contents out into the floor, and handed it over just in time. Wordlessly he and Meryl spent the next five minuets supporting Vash up while he dry heaved into the bucket, while Millie ran off to go find somebody.

Shortly, the Doc and several of the infirmary staff ran on in. The head of the staff kept apologizing furiously for letting him get past her, he had just snuck off. With the initial examination they couldn't immediately discern anything wrong with him, but they promised to soon find out. The three of them sadly watched as he was taken away yet again, all thoughts of lunch forgotten.

-L&P-

He lay on the infirmary bed staring up at the ceiling, silently begging for sleep. He had passed out shortly after they had left the mess hall. Some time must have passed since then because it was night now. He could feel it. When he had woke again he was back in his bed in the infirmary, Meryl fast asleep on the bed next to him. He looked at her bandaged hand. What had happened? And what was happening now?

He ran his hands over his face, trying not to cry as wave after wave of pure misery washed over him. Everything hurt so _bad_. What was happening to him? And his back…why did it ache so much? Tentatively he reached back behind his neck only to find bandages. Clearly there was something he had missed, something that had went wrong. Why else would he be this way, feeling like he was going to die?

Slowly and carefully he got out of bed, doing his best to remain silent. If Meryl saw him up she would force him to lie back down, but he had something he needed to do. Someone he needed to go see. Painfully, he pulled on the thin shirt that was lying at the foot of the bed and left, praying that no one would spot him.

They didn't. It must have been really late because the place was practically deserted. The walk to Knives'es room seemed three times longer than usual, he thought, leaning heavily on the wall for support. After what seemed like an age and a half, he finally made it. The guard looked up from his book and did a double take upon seeing who it was.

"I didn't expect to see you back so soon. And especially not this time at night."

"Couldn't sleep. Can you please tell the other guy to leave?"

"Yeah sure. Hold on just a sec."

The other guard was brought out of the room and Vash quietly went on inside, not bothering to turn on the lights. Through the dim light coming from the little window on the door he could see Knives sleepily turn over to see what was going on. Exhausted, Vash fell to his knees. Lacking even the strength to sit up, he lay down on the floor, hiding his face in his arms.

"Vash?" Knives hesitantly asked sitting up. Vash couldn't answer, it was all he could do to try and catch his breath. "_Vash_?" Knives was up and out of bed in an instant and kneeling by the bars. "Vash what's wrong? Answer me!" He demanded trying to reach him through the bars, but his fingertips fell painfully short.

Deeply touched by the uncharacteristic display of concern Vash looked up and started to reach back to him, but stopped at the last moment. He just couldn't trust him, and that thought was worse than the pain he felt now. Silently apologizing, he hid his face once more from his brother and began to cry. This only seemed to worry Knives more.

"_Please_ tell me what's wrong. What did they do to you? You're hurt. You have to tell me!" Knives pleaded, fighting against the bars. "I told you not to trust them…"

"They didn't hurt me…not intentionally anyway. It was noth…nothing I didn't ask them to do."

"Ah." Knives said coldly, the abrupt change in his demeanor startling. He pulled back. "The process…"

"Yes…But, but I think something went wrong. I feel like I'm dying…"

"That's because you are. Now."

"I…screwed up somewhere I don't want to die…not yet." Vash managed to say before breaking down completely. Knives watched impassively for a few minuets before sighing in annoyance.

"No need to get all melodramatic. You didn't mess up anywhere so knock it off." He snapped.

"But…but you didn't…"

"Don't be so naïve. I suffered through what you're going through right now. Yeah, its hell, but you're not dying so get over it." Surprised by this unexpected revelation, Vash managed to sit up some to see Knives a little better. To see if he was telling the truth or just messing with him. Knives never looked away, never smirked. He was actually telling the truth…

"What do you mean you went through this? You never even gave the slightest…"

"Simple. I just didn't show it. That's all." He simply stated. Suddenly Knives'es behavior for that first week rushed back to Vash in a revelation.

"_That's_ why you wouldn't eat, or move, or talk to me. You were hiding it. This whole time you acted like it was nothing at all."

"It's noting to be impressed over. It was spite. Pure and simple. It kept me from showing any of the _agony_ you put me through."

"Spite? But why?"

"Honestly?" Knives asked. He sat down cross-legged, leaning heavily against the bars. "I had no idea what was happening to me. I thought…haa, I thought that one of those things was poisoning me and that I was dying. Haahaha…And I knew that if I gave any indication that something was wrong you would have put a stop to it. I was as disappointed as I was relieved when it finally faded away. Give it a week and you'll be over it. Mostly. It comes and goes."

"You…wanted to be dying?"

"What an idiotic question! Of _course_ I would have rather died than be kept as some pet! But I suppose that being a pet is better than what I have been reduced to. How _dare_ you do that to me! How dare you! I'd sooner be eviscerated and thrown out into the sun to die rather than face this slow rotting death that you have sentenced me to!"

"You don't understand…"

"Damn you! Don't you dare expect any sympathy from _me_! I hope you suffer…You deserve it. Now get out! OUT!"

Slowly and painfully Vash picked himself up off of the floor, ushered on by demands of 'out' to hurry him along. He gave one last tearful look back then left. While it was a relief to know what he was experiencing was normal (and even more so that it would be over soon), Knives'es harsh change from caring to cruel was enough to make him hurt like he was dying.

He ignored the guards on the way out. They knew their jobs and he was just too miserable to pay them any mind. He managed to walk far enough to get away from the guards and find some privacy before collapsing out of exhaustion again. Knives wanted to die…how horrible. How sad. Could he not even _try_ to find something worthwhile to live for? Was he getting through to him at all? It was just too much, too much misery. He couldn't take it anymore.

The sounds of someone approaching reached him but he didn't bother to look up, it didn't matter if someone found him. It just didn't.

"Common." Wolfwood said, trying to help him to his feet. "I had a feeling that you would be around this way. And it looks like I was right. Let's get you back to bed now."

"Maybe you were right Wolfwood…Maybe there is no changing him. Maybe it is hopeless." Vash said miserably, leaning heavily on him for support.

"Don't say stuff like that. You know better. You're just depressed because you're sick. Once we figure out what's wrong and fix it you'll feel better about the whole affair."

"There's nothing wrong with me. Knives said it was normal, that he had to put up with the same thing. He's better now but he said that he would rather be dying. What am I going to do?"

"You…are going to go get some rest. And _later_, once you feel better, then you can worry about what to do. Do I make myself clear?"

"I can't Wolfwood. I just can't let it go."

"Then do you trust us to take care of him for you in the mean time? You can't do this all on your own you know."

"…I know…"

"We'll talk about this tomorrow. You need to sleep now, and I'll make sure they give you something to ensure that you will rest. Alright?"

"…Yeah."

The following day he woke up to see that he was not alone. Wolfwood and the girls were across from him locked in a card game of some sort. He raised himself up some to see. It was poker, and they were playing for cookies. The spoke in hushed tones, not wanting to make much noise. They hadn't noticed that he was awake yet. Millie raised her arms in a silent cheer of victory, scooping the cookies towards her spot on the bed, pausing a moment to eat one. He couldn't help but chuckle softly to himself. The sound alerted the others that he was awake. Cookies and cards flew everywhere and they all began talking at once.

"Oh you're finally awake!"

"Do you need anything?"

"I was starting to wonder when you were going to wake up."

"I…uhh…" He began, unsure of where to start.

"Not so much at once you two…" Meryl said, shooing the other two back some. "How are you feeling?"

"Rough. But not as bad as yesterday. It was yesterday, wasn't it?" He asked, trying to sit up but failing.

"Nope. You stay put." She said pushing him back down. "You shouldn't have even been up yesterday. You should have known better."

"Will you quit nagging him? The last thing someone wants when they wake up is to be nagged at." Wolfwood said, butting in.

"_Excuse_ me?"

"You know you scared the hell out of us the other day. I swear you took ten years off my life."

"You shouldn't be fussing at him either Nic. And besides, it wasn't exactly like it was his fault. But first, do you need anything? Water?" Millie asked, prepared to fetch.

"Water, yeah. What do you all keep going on about? I'm kinda lost here…"

"Oh yeah, you don't know. Oh. I went back to verify what Knives said and he fessed. I've already told the girls and the people here. So don't worry about it." Wolfwood said, sitting down at the foot of the bed.

"Ok…but what is it that I don't know about? Anybody gonna let me in on it?" Vash asked, as he was helped to sit up and took the water from Millie. "And why does my back hurt so bad?" The three exchanged looks with one another, silently asking who wanted to do the honors.

In the end they all told, in turns. They told him about how the couldn't revive him, how they thought that he had been in there too long and had no choice but to give up, thinking that Meryl was out to kill herself, removing the metal, and finally his resuscitation. Vash listened to them, absolutely horrified at how close he came to dying and never even realized it. He apologized repeatedly for not remembering about the metal, and for what had nearly happened. Eventually it took a unified effort to calm him down and get him to stop apologizing for it.

The little reunion was cut short however as Vash tired quickly and became ill again. But before going back to sleep he promised them all a celebratory-slash-apology party once he got better. They in turn, told him that it had better be soon, on both accounts.

-L&P-

"I haven't seen you for a few days. I thought that you had finally got the hint last time." Knives coldly said as Vash came in and heavily sat down.

"Yeah well, I was under orders not to leave the infirmary. They actually watched me to make sure that I didn't get out. But I'm free now. Although I'm still not feeling too good."

"I'd say not. As much as I hate to admit it, I'd rather you be here than the others. They have been by nearly incessantly ever since you left that one night. They're driving me crazy. Can you get them to knock it off some?"

"Is it all that shocking that they would actually want to come see you Knives? Believe it or not they actually like you…whenever you're willing to give them a chance."

"I have no desire to give them a chance thank you. And you know what irritates me the most about you all? It's the fact that every one of you knock…but come on in anyway. What about when I'm trying to sleep? And that guard…I need a little privacy too you know."

"For one thing…you _rarely_ answer us when we do knock. And when you do its just to tell us to go away."

"Yes. And?"

"And another thing…you know perfectly well what the guard is for. If anything you should take it as a complement that we have to keep such a close watch on you!" Vash said, attempting to lighten the mood.

"And your definition of an insult would be…?"

"Hmm…" Vash paused, thinking.

"Never mind." Knives said quickly. "I don't want to know. Just keep that to yourself."

"What? What did you think I was thinking?"

"I don't want to _know_ what you're thinking. Who knows what kind of habits you've picked up from them."

"Well I…I…ah, I don't care. I really don't feel like arguing with you. In fact I didn't feel like coming down here today, but I missed you."

"Not with that again."

"What? But you just said that you would rather me be here than them. You didn't miss me?"

"When did I say that? It's just that you're the lesser of the evils."

"Well gee thanks. I'm glad my effort and suffering is appreciated." Vash said grumpily, lying down on the floor again. He was still to sore and tired to be up and about for too long. In fact, it was against their wishes that he came here today. They were worried that being around Knives would stress him too much. Maybe they were right.

"If you're feeling that sick, just leave." Knives said, looking down at him with contempt.

"I don't want to. It hurts to get up and move around."

"You can be such a wimp sometimes! Look, if you're feeling _that_ bad, then why don't you look for a way to make yourself feel better? You're the one who came up with the idea; can't you just find a way to reverse it? Just in the slightest?"

"Just don't even go there Knives."

"Ah, I get it. You don't know how." He said, smirking.

"I said leave it alone."

"Maybe you truly are a masochist. Or perhaps you should go ask your little doctor friend. I'm sure he could fix things."

"Look here Knives." Vash said firmly, sitting up again. "He doesn't know a thing about it. I made sure that I and only I knew, so you would never figure out about it. I know what you're doing. I've known it all along. You're trying to manipulate the conversation towards it, hunting for hints here and there, and even asking about it to the others. I know, they've told me. But you are never going to find out the secrets to what I engineered. But even if you did…I made absolutely sure that it was irreversible. So that _you_ couldn't undo it, and that _I_ couldn't back out if I should have ever lost my nerve. So can you just leave the subject alone? It's a pointless and dead topic."

"Why you…" Knives muttered, to furious to speak.

"I know, I know…out, right? And your going to yell at me…refuse to talk to me for days…probably even refuse to eat. And you call _me_ the immature one Knives. How long are you going to insist on staying blind? Huh? Because it's getting really annoying."

"How dare you talk to me like that! So help me if I ever…grrrr….Just leave…" Knives growled at him, turning his back to him, shaking with anger. Vash wanted to tell him something more. Anything to cool his anger or to make peace but nothing would come to mind. So he turned and left.

Knives would have just refused to listen anyway, Vash thought angrily as he walked down the halls. Just as he probably refuses to believe him about the process being irreversible. Even now he was probably trying to think of a way to undo it. He just can't seem to accept the truth about anything that is contrary to his wants. What was it going to take, Vash wondered heading back to the room to lie down for a while. He didn't know, and he was too angry, sick, and tired to wonder about it now.

"Hey." Meryl said brightly as he entered the room. She was in the middle of pulling on her boots when she paused, seeing his expression. "What's wrong? Him again?"

"Yes it's him. It's always him. It always will be him. He's too stubborn, narrow minded, arrogant, childish, and egotistical to think of anybody other than himself. He doesn't care about anything as long as he gets his way. And he only puts up with me I think because he gets bored not that he actually cares about me or anything else like that. That and he thinks I'm completely stupid and treats me like trash and that he's the boss of everything even when _he's_ locked up and _I'm_ out here! I didn't think it was possible to care about somebody so much and completely despise them at the same time!" He ranted, sitting down hard in a chair and hiding his face in his hands. After the long stretch of uncomfortable silence he looked up. She had turned away, obviously hurt. "I'm sorry…I didn't mean to yell. I shouldn't have taken it out on you…"

"I know you didn't." She said quietly, embracing him from behind. "And I'm sorry that it didn't go well. Anything I can do?"

"I don't know…I don't know what to do Meryl. Maybe I should just let him go. He hates me. He's made that clear. He can't do that much damage anymore, not on a mass scale anyway. And if he did go around causing trouble he c-couldn't get too far before somebody took him down. Maybe that's even how he wants it…D-death over m-me…"

"Don't talk like that. And shh…it'll be ok. It's too soon to expect anything different from him, we all know that. And he is making progress, really. Look, he talks to us, doesn't he? He didn't used to. I know you really want him to change, but it's going to have to be in little steps. And it's going to be slow."

"I know that. I do." He said, wiping at his eyes. "But it seems to me that he would rather be around you all than me. From what I hear he actually talks to you all, even plays games. All he ever tells me is that he hates me and that he wants me to go. What do I do? Please tell me…"

"Hmm…He may not be willing to talk to you, but perhaps _I_ can pry out why he treats you the way he does out of him. I'll see what he's hiding and I'll see what can be done about it. You, in the meantime, had better get some rest. I told you that seeing him so soon would put too much stress on you."

"Your right, as always." He said, letting go of her hands and getting up. "But please don't let me sleep too late again. You know I hate sleeping the day away."

"If you sleep that late then you probably need it. Now go on. Shoo. Bed. Now."

"Yes ma'am."

She saw to it that he actually did lie down and quietly left. Sorry Millie, she thought as she made for Knives'es room. You'll just have to go on out without me; I have something important to see to right now. The more she thought about how upset Vash was the angrier she got. And by the time the exchange with the guards was done, she was absolutely livid.

"Care to tell me what the hell your problem is?" She demanded, marching on in.

"Excuse me?" Knives asked, almost innocently, in the middle of a game of solitaire.

"You. Why do you insist on acting this way? You're acting like a spoiled brat and you're just making a fool out of yourself with your behavior."

"Oooh scary…I suppose my brother went and tattled on me? Well I'm sorry but it is none of your business."

"It may be none of my business what happened the past, but what happens now _is_ my business. Do I make myself clear?"

"And why is that?" Knives asked, tossing the deck aside and walking up to the bars. "Why do you care? Is it a mothering instinct, or are you just excessively nosey? Although I can pretty much guess."

"Why I care is not the point. I asked you a question."

"And you accused _me_ of being a hypocrite. Why don't you just tell me that it's none of my business, or do you not want to be caught in your own words?"

"Knock off the sarcasm Knives. What I want to know is why you treat him so badly. You say you hate people but yet you treat us better than you do him. How's that for hypocrisy for you?"

"I have my reasons, but I would rather know yours. You're in a full blown preachy mood, enlighten me."

"I came to ask you a question, not discuss my relationship with your brother, so tell me."

"Relationship? Hmm. And if I don't tell you? Really, what are you going to do to me? Ah-ha! That look says it all. You can't do a thing. But I must admit…you have me curious. What do you say we make a trade?"

"_What_ are you talking about?"

"You tell me what you mean by…'relationship' and I'll tell you what you want to know." Knives said, crossing his arms in smug satisfaction. He just _knew_ that she wasn't going to say, that's why he proposed the little trade off, she thought furiously. He was only trying to frustrate her. Well he chose the wrong person to gamble with…

"Fine. Deal." She spat at him. She watched as some of his smug look faded away, and hers grew. "Since you are so unusually curious about why I care and about your brother's personal life, I'll tell you. We've been together for a while now. Months. And it is my business because I care about him. Satisfied? Now…tell me." She asked, trying not to openly enjoy the angry look crossing over his face.

"Now perhaps I didn't hear correctly, but you said together. As in sleeping together?"

"I don't see where that is any of your business or why you would even want to know you pervert but yes."

"And just when I thought he couldn't get any lower. How utterly disgusting."

"_Excuse_ me?"

"You heard me. The very thought of it is revolting. He has been around humans for far too long. He truly does need to be destroyed."

"Hey! You asked me! And what he does is none of your business. But then again the only things that mean anything to you are death and destruction! When are you going to get over yourself!"

"And what? Be like him?"

"NO. But a little change would be welcome for your charming personality."

"Oh, so I would be more acceptable if behaved completely illogically, whined and cried incessantly, and partook in bestiality with humans?"

"Wha…What did you just say!" She demanded, taken aback.

"You heard me." He growled at her.

"Now you listen here, you…" She furiously began, shaking her fist at him.

It was a mistake.

In doing so, she stepped in too close to him. Before she could even blink, he had snatched her hand and pulled her hard to the bars. Before she could cry out to the guard outside one large hand closed around her throat, preventing any sound from escaping.

"Now this is familiar. Isn't it?" He coldly asked her, ignoring her vain attempts to get free. "So should I kill you now or later? What do you think?" He loosened his grip enough to where she could breathe, but still not cry out.

"…let…go…" She gasped, trying to pry his hand off with her free one. Her head ached from where she had hit the bars. She kicked at him but couldn't get a good strike in at this angle.

"All your preachy nonsense doesn't amount to very much now, does it? Would you still lecture me if I allowed you the breath to do so? Or would you scream for help? Thanks to our…enlightening conversation, I can see your true motives now. Coming in all those times to talk with me…January…staying in this ghost ship when you could be out in the sun…It was all because you were trying to win him over. I have always found it simply amazing to what lengths humans would go to all in the name of lust."

"No…I…love him…" She managed to force out, no longer struggling.

"Ha. Don't make me laugh." Knives mocked. He loosed up his grip just a little further.

"But it's true. I do. My hand…my shoulder…" She pulled back the collar of her shirt with her free hand, exposing the scar on her shoulder to him. "I…almost died for him. And I would…do it again too…Willingly…and in a heartbeat…I would do anything for him…He even asked me to marry…" Knives cut her off with a squeeze.

"If this is true I suppose you must hate me." He asked her flatly. Glaring down, he saw the confusion in her eyes. "You must have always hated me. I've been out to kill him, and I probably still will. I guess that this would make me your number one enemy." Knives said quietly. He let go of her hand, which immediately joined her other grasping his wrist, and felt around her back.

"…what…are you doing?" She fearfully asked, beginning to struggle again.

"Just looking…for this." He said, pulling out the little gun that had been tucked away at the small of her back. She saw it and tried hard not to panic. She and Millie had been going out today…that's why she…Oh no…

"…no…" She managed before he cut her off again. But instead of putting it to her head and pulling the trigger, or calling for the guard to let him out in exchange for her life, he did the unthinkable. Knives forced the gun into her hand, and then forced her to aim at him. Directly between his cold blue eyes. She stared at him, terrified.

"If you truly will do anything for him like you say…then kill me. Eliminate the source of all his pain and fear…the biggest threat to his life, and the one person standing in your way of a happy life with him. Go on…its easy…I would know…"

"No…" She gasped out; trying to pull her hand back, but he kept it firmly in place.

"Why?" He simply asked, loosing his grip on her neck some more so she could speak.

"Because…he loves you too much, even if you are a threat. It would break him if he were to lose you." Knives pondered this over for a few moments then released his grip on her hand. Immediately Meryl threw the gun away behind her. He looked away to where it had landed for a moment then met her eyes once more.

"I admit it…" He slowly began. "I admit that I have been deceived. You should honestly be proud of yourself. Out of everyone that has come by, it was only you that I thought truly came for me. All of our conversations…I thought was for me. But I see now it was for him. It's always been about him."

"No Knives…it…" But he cut her off.

"I was a fool. But I really shouldn't be surprised. It has always been this way from even when we were young. I had always been pushed to the side."

"…you were….jealous?"

"You asked. I told. You never cared about me. Like I guessed, it was all to win him. I'm sick of your lies. Now I want you to get out and I never want to see you again. And this time…" Knives said leaning in close to her. "I mean it…" He threatened then threw her away where she sprawled out onto the floor.

Meryl crawled to her knees coughing and choking, stunned that she was actually still alive. But even more shocking was what he had done…and what he had told her. All that he had done…all that he was still doing…it was because he was jealous? In this unexpected light, things began to make more sense. The puzzle pieces that seemed to be out of place now fit perfectly. Everything about him was now made clear…and it was heartbreaking.

"Is that why?" She asked, still coughing. She had to know. Honestly and truly. "Is that why you turned on everyone? And is that why you hate and are always out to hurt him? Because of jealously?"

"Get out."

"I admit Knives, that I did come to see you at first on his account, but lately I have been coming because I honestly wanted to talk to you."

"Get Out!"

"When your not complaining you can be a fascinating person to talk to."

"Get Out!"

"You're being childish Knives!"

"I refuse to listen to anymore you have to say. I'm sick of hearing your lies and I will not to be used by you!"

"I'm not using you! And I have nothing to do with your sibling rivalry so Quit taking it out on me! Or on all of Us!"

"OUT!" He roared at her. She screamed in frustration, stooping to pick up her gun where it had landed.

"Thank _God_ I was an only child..." Meryl growled as she stormed from the room. He glared at the door where she had left. A moment later the cowed guard hesitantly stepped inside after being pushed in by his coworker and sat down in his chair. He looked up once to the iron glare then back down the floor again, fidgeting furiously.

For some reason unknown to him, Knives found this funny. Incredibly funny. In fact it was hilarious. He found himself laughing and just couldn't seem to stop. The guard out in the hall shifted on his feet uncomfortably, while the poor in-room guard wanted to flee altogether, especially once the laughter began to take on a hysterical note. After several minuets of hard and somewhat unstable laughter, he abruptly stopped and fell dead silent.

He realized now that he was never getting out of here. He would be stuck in this cell for the rest of his life. His short life. Even if he did everything that they wanted they would never trust him enough to release him. And what would be the point of trying to get out now? Vash had said that the process was irreversible, and Knives believed him. It was the fact that Vash had gone through it as well. He said that he had designed it so that he could never back out of his decision. That, rather than the technical details of how it was done, was enough to convince Knives. So what was the point anymore?

He had lost his freedom, his power, his dignity, and his damn privacy, he thought glaring at the guard. What did he have left? What did he have worth living for? At first he thought 'revenge'. Then the question of 'how' came to mind, then followed by 'what for'? Then Knives desperately thought 'Vash', but then the others came to mind. Vash had his people, he even had a woman now, he didn't need him. Vash only kept him out of nostalgia, striving for a happiness and innocence long lost. Something that could never be again. No. He was truly alone. As he always had been.

And try as he might…he couldn't think of a single thing worth living for.

"Hey you." He called out to the guard.

"Y-yes?"

"You look like you would rather not be in here."

"No. Honestly I wouldn't…"

"Then why don't you do both of us a favor."

"Huh?"

"You don't enjoy my company and after that shouting match I'm thirsty, but I'm sick of sink water. Go get me something else."

"I…I don't know…I know he wouldn't care if I left." The guard said motioning towards the door, meaning the other guard. "But I'm really not supposed to go anywhere."

"Oh really?" Knives asked walking up to the bars and glaring at him. "Then why don't you tell _him_ to go get me something while we enjoy one another's company." He said in a low dangerous voice. The guards resolve visibly crumbled.

"N-no no. I'll do it! A-anything in particular you want?"

"Coffee. _Real_ coffee, and not that instant crap either, you hear me?"

"Yes!" The man yelped out then was on his feet. He told his companion outside where he was going then left, the other guy shrugged, and then closed the door never once looking up from his book. He had grown lax in his guard and didn't see Knives as a threat as long as he didn't fall asleep around him or get too close. And the hunt and preparation of the drink should keep the cowardly guard away for some time. Not too long, but long enough for what he knew he had to do now.

Knives went and sat down in the small space between the foot of his bed and the wall. No one had noticed it because it's out of the way location and that he always had a blanket or shirt draped over it, but all those times where he had taken his fury out on the bed by kicking it had warped the frame. And here, the metal had halfway pulled back from the leg, revealing a sharp twisted jag.

He slowly and purposefully pulled his shirt off, setting the fabric on his lap where he could easily get to it later. He held his wrist to the sharp metal, but hesitated for a moment. He had thought about doing this before but never had taken the step. He had always had something to keep him going. But not anymore. So why not do it? Why not end it all? Everything else has been taken out of his control, the decision to live or die was the only thing he had left.

"Why not?" Knives quietly asked himself, then savagely ran his wrist across it. Wincing, he quickly covered it loosely with his shirt to keep the spray contained so as took keep the guard outside from noticing should he look in. He repeated this with his other wrist. The feeling of the sharp tingling pain and the wet warmth from his own blood slowly drenching his lap was strangely…liberating, he thought in a distantly bemused way. He flexed his fists, encouraging the blood to flow out faster.

It didn't quite seem real…what he had done. It was almost like he was a formless presence watching what was happening. Close yet separate. Detached yet connected. The ever widening pool of blood threatened to spread out to where someone looking in would see. He pulled his blanket and sheet onto the floor, blocking the view. How much longer would it take, he wondered wearily laying his head down on the bed. It shouldn't be too much longer…it was getting difficult to breathe and he was so tired…

-L&P-

Meryl sat out on the balcony waiting until she quit shaking, from both fear and rage. Her hand was bruised where he had gripped it so tightly and she was sure that her neck and forehead was as well. That's twice now, she thought angrily petting the cat on her lap a little harder, the skin pulling back comically from its face. If he dared to do that one more time she was going to kick him so hard she would guarantee that Vash would _never_ have any nieces or nephews. But still, despite how angry she was at him she couldn't help but feel horribly sorry for him at the same time. It didn't justify his actions, no, not in the slightest but it was still sad that he felt worthless and used.

And the gun…she thought with a slight shudder. What he had done was downright scary. He could have just as easily reached over with one finger and forced her to pull the trigger. Was he just testing her or did he honestly want her to kill him? The thought left an unsettling feeling in her stomach. That just wasn't like Knives. What she would have expected him to do was use her to get out of the cell then kill her. But instead he had practically begged her to kill him and had let her go free. Something wasn't right, she thought setting the cat aside and standing up. She had to go tell Vash.

She stepped into their room, slightly winded after her run through the halls. He was fast asleep facing the wall, buried under a pile of blankets.

"Vash…" She said shaking him gently. "Vash please. Something's wrong. Please wake up..."

"Hmm?" He mumbled, rolling over to face her. He did a double take upon seeing her (so she did bruise after all…) and sat up.

"Meryl! What in the world happened to you? Who did this to you?" He asked, completely shocked, gently tracing over the shaped bruises on her neck with his thumb.

"That's not important right now." She said pulling his hand away. "I think that there is something wrong with Knives. Would you please go check on him?"

"Wait…what? Knives? Are you saying that he did this to you? _Again_? That's it…" He muttered, getting up. "He's had it…"

"You're not listening to me!" She said stopping him. "There is something seriously wrong with him. He tried to get me to kill him!"

"He what?" Vash asked, completely shocked. That had definitely gotten through the raging protective instinct, pulling him to his senses.

"We got into a fight. I got too close. He got me and got my gun. But instead of killing me, he put it in my hand and pointed it at himself. He tried to talk me into shooting him! It's just not like him and I'm really worried." She said in one big rush. Vash looked as stunned as she felt by this revelation.

"Does he still have the gun?"

"No I got it back. See?"

"Let's go. This has me worried." He said fearfully.

As they headed towards his room Vash asked her about everything that was said, that was done. She told him, struggling slightly to keep up with his long strides and narrate everything back to him at the same time. They rounded the corner and saw the guard idly flipping through his book.

"Oh hey you two. Ready for another argument I see. Well go on in, the other guy's out for the moment."

"Out? You mean Knives was left alone?" Vash demanded.

"Hey, I'm right here. How's he gonna get out anyway? Besides the other guy hasn't been gone too long."

"How long?"

"I dunno." The guy shrugged. Vash swore softly under his breath. He was going to have a serious talk with somebody later, and they were _not_ going to like it. He opened the door without knocking and stepped on inside, Meryl a second after him. He didn't know what he expected, but it wasn't to see Knives sitting quietly in a corner.

"Knives?" He hesitantly asked the figure resting on the end of the bed. Knives gave no indication that he heard. If it weren't for the weird place he was sitting it would seem as if he were asleep.

"Your not asleep, I know your not. Not after that fight we just had…" Meryl tried. No response. Vash gave her a look then fetched the key from the guard. Wordlessly he pulled out her gun and handed it to her. She nodded, understanding, and then watched as he unlocked the door and went inside.

"Knives?" He asked, going around to the foot of the bed.

What he found horrified him.

Immediately Vash rushed to him and fell to his knees beside of him, praying that it wasn't too late. Blood was everywhere. So much of it spilt out onto the cold steel floor…Knives was frighteningly pale and was barely breathing. Vash pulled away the bloody shirt covering Knives'es hands to reveal the damage that had been done.

"Go get some help! Hurry!" Vash cried out to Meryl, trying not to panic.

"What's wrong?"

"He's cut his wrists! Just Go!" She ran from the room, while the guard just stood there in dumb shock. Quickly Vash ripped the bloody shirt in two and tied it tightly around the cuts, halting the weak flow. He picked his brother up, nearly falling back because of his weakened state, and headed for the infirmary.

The infirmary staff, having been alerted to this crisis, met him halfway and took the unconscious man from him. Then, back in the med wing, they fought desperately to save his life.

It had only been a matter of minuets, but it seemed like the entire ship knew already knew what had just transpired. Wolfwood and Millie forced their way past the small crowd gathering in the halls and burst into the waiting room.

"What happened!"

"Oh no, please tell me he's going to be alright! Please!"

"What's the word from the doctors here?" Wolfwood asked the two sitting alone in the waiting room, trying hard to calm _himself_ down. He and Millie had only just got back from town when they were bombarded with this horrible news. As shocked as he was, he could honestly say he did halfway expect something like this would happen…

"They…They're still trying to get him stable. They've already took some blood from me, and they said that it's really helped out. But I just don't know yet…" Vash said, never once looking up at them. He absently rubbed the spot on his arm where they had drawn from him

"But how did it _happen_?" Millie asked, freely crying. "I thought that there was nothing in there that he could use to hurt himself. Wasn't he supposed to be watched?"

"It was the metal from his bed…and he tricked the guard into leaving for a while." Meryl quietly told her, trying to get a rein in on her own tears.

"But will he be _ok_?"

"For him to go do something like this…" Vash quietly began. "…no…I don't think he will. Even if he does survive…"

-L&P-

The dream faded away into a haze of white. He blinked a few times, trying to clear his eyes, and realized that the whiteness he was seeing was just a light out in the hall. Confused, he tried to take in his surroundings. In a dark room, on a bed,…restraints? Knives tried to sit up to see what was holding him steadfast, but found that he didn't even have the strength to lift his head. Déjà vu? Had he been drugged again? Then he remembered. What he had done…

A dull aching throb seemed to flair up in his wrists at the thought of his attempted suicide. _Attempted_. He had failed. He wanted to cry at his helplessness, he didn't even have a choice about his own life anymore. He fought hard against the tears. Not once, in his long life, had he ever cried, and he wasn't about to do it now. Knives closed his eyes tightly, fighting away the surge of emotion. To distract himself, he tried to further take in what was about him.

He couldn't sit up, he couldn't even raise his head, but he could turn it to see what lie on either side of him. To his right was an empty stand and the wall. With a great effort he turned and looked in the other direction. And what he saw surprised him.

Vash was asleep sitting in a chair directly beside of him. He was so slouched down in the seat, Knives wondered how he didn't slip out of it. Against the far wall the two girls had a row of chairs lined up in a makeshift couch and they were currently using one another as pillows. Wolfwood sat in the corner snoring softly, his arms crossed over his knees and his head resting atop them.

Why? Knives quietly wondered. Why were they all in here? Why here sleeping in those horribly uncomfortable positions when they could be asleep in their own beds together? There was no need to watch him; he was far too weak to get free. And a guard would have sufficed. Why here? Why with him?

Puzzled, he stared up at the ceiling, thinking over his dream. And the dream in itself was a mystery to him. Why he would have dreamt of her after all these years was beyond him. Yes, he had dreamed of Rem in his first year of life when he still lived with the woman, but why now? He didn't believe in ghosts or an afterlife; messages from beyond the grave. In his weakened and altered state of mind all they things that these four beside of him had been shoveling at him for the past two months must have resurfaced in his subconscious and took the form of her in his dream, he finally concluded.

She had been singing. It was that same stupid song that he had grown to hate over the years. Annoyed, he had told her to stop it, which she did. But when she turned to look at him, he felt…guilty. The feeling was quickly washed away. Replaced by that of rage.

_Go away! I want nothing to do with you._ He had shouted at her.

_But why?_ She calmly asked him.

_Because you are just like the rest of them! Nothing but lies! You always acted like you cared about me but it was always about him! I was always pushed to the side…I thought I had overcome it but I can't escape from my past…_

_You can be so silly Knives. I didn't care for you any less than Vash, he just needed me more. That's all. You have always been so strong and independent…you even insisted on learning to walk on your own! If anything, I thought you didn't want my attention. I didn't want to insult you or undermine your self-reliance. That's why I never tried to force my company on you._

_What?...What are you saying?_

_My headstrong impatient little boy. You have always wanted to figure things out on your own. You've always thought to ask or be told something would be some flaw on your part for not seeing the answer. But life is not like that Knives. It's too wild, unpredictable, and wonderful for one individual to comprehend. That's why we are all made differently, so we can appreciate the full spectrum of life. Think of it as a prism. Just because red is not blue and blue is not green it doesn't mean that any one color is true light and the rest false. Its only when they are all mixed together…But you're smart. You can figure it out on your own, I know you will…_she said with a wink then all had faded into white.

Knives stared up at the ceiling, trying to shake the remembrance of the dream. It was just dream, he desperately thought. Just a dream…

-L&P-

"I was wondering when you would wake up." A quiet voice said as Knives returned to consciousness once more. He didn't even remember falling asleep. He just remembered pondering over that dream. Confused Knives looked for the speaker. The others in the room had left, leaving only Knives himself and his brother who was sitting in the same chair by the bed.

"This feels familiar." Knives muttered, testing out his restraints. Still immobile. At least this time he wasn't drugged. "How long?"

"It's been three days now since we've found you. Actually I expected you to wake up sooner."

"Hmm." Knives mumbled, refusing to look at him. The quiet understanding tone that Vash had was beginning to eat at him. Why wasn't he being lectured? Or, hell, at least being told off for what he had done to Meryl. Anything but the silence.

"Well?" Knives asked.

"Well what?"

"Don't you have something to say to me?" Knives asked swallowing hard, his focus never wavering from the ceiling.

"…No. Like you said, I talk too much. It's a bad habit I have whenever I get uncomfortable."

"Hmm."

"You, on the other hand, are the complete opposite. You fold in on yourself when you're hurting and refuse to let anybody help."

"And I suppose that this is _also_ a bad thing?"

"No. It's just really sad. Although I'm one to talk…"

"Look." Knives began, becoming angry. "Quit talking to me like I'm going to break. Yell at me like I know you want to. Swear at me! Just anything but this. I don't want yours or anybody else's pity. I was happier when you all hated me…"

"Happier? Being hated has never brought anyone happiness. Perhaps a sort of vindictive pleasure but not happiness."

"And what would you know…" Knives snapped at him.

"I'd say that I would know a lot about it. Except for a precious few, everyone on this planet despises me and wants me dead. So yeah…I know."

"Hmm."

"But I kept on anyway and I'm glad for it."

"So now you're going to lecture me on what I tried to do? That suicide is not the answer? How I should hope and always strive for tomorrow or whatever?"

"Not if you don't want me to. Just please tell me one thing Knives…why?"

"Why not Vash! I have noting to live for. So why not? Why…" He trailed off, turning away.

"And if you had something worth living for, what would it be?"

"I…I…I don't know Vash, and what does it matter anyway! I don't care." His voice getting thick with emotion. He couldn't think of anything because there was nothing. Noting at all…

"You know…Meryl told me what all you told her. About Rem and everything…"

"Should have minded her own business…"

"Well if she hadn't, you wouldn't be here now. After your talk she came to me. I saw what happened to her and I tried to be angry but she wouldn't let me."

"What?"

"She put her little foot down and demanded that I go check up on you. She said that your behavior worried her and she was concerned for you."

"I don't care…She should have left me alone. She shouldn't have pretended…not like Rem did…I…I…J-just let me go! Let me go n-now!" Knives cried out struggling weakly against the restraints, furiously embarrassed by the tears leaking from the corners of his eyes. "Just let me go…let me go…" He sobbed out, turning as far as he could from Vash, trying in vain to hide his face from him. He turned back in surprise when he felt the restraints on his wrists and midsection being undone. Partially freed, he tried to sit up, only to fall back down again when the pain in his wrists screamed at him for being stretched. Vash reached behind him and helped him sit up.

Using the heavy bandages around his wrists, he tried to wipe the offending tears away, but more followed. And more. And more until all he could do was hold his useless hands to his eyes while he wept, no longer caring about having never done it before or that he had company while he was in this pitiable state. What dignity did he have left? He could do this now…He could cry…

Being wrapped in his brothers embrace only made him cry harder. The occasionally splash of wetness on the back of his neck told him that Vash was crying as well. Only he was crying silently in contrast with Knives'es pained noisy sobs. Some time later, he didn't know how long, he finally calmed down to where the tears eased and his breathing contained only the occasional hitch. He still didn't pull his hands away from his eyes, and Vash still hadn't let go of him. And Knives didn't try to force him away.

"Knives?" Vash asked hesitantly, once he was sure that Knives was truly finished.

"What?" He asked hoarsely.

"I've been thinking of something. I want you to please hear me out. I don't expect an answer from you right away, but please will you think about it?"

"What is it?" Knives asked, lowering his hands. He didn't look up; he just stared miserably at his lap. The bandages would have to be changed now…

"One year…One year is all I'm asking of you. If I let you out of that cell and you come away with us for just one year, I'll let you go free." Vash said, pulling away from him.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean no killing…actually trying to interact with others without causing them harm, and I'll let you go and never lock you up again. You'll be free to do whatever you want. I won't hunt you down…nothing. But you have to try for me, please? You're more patient than anybody I know, what difference would one year make? Hmm?"

"A year was nothing before…but now it's a life time…How do you know that I won't just run away the first chance I get? Or kill you all?"

"Because you may not believe this, but I have faith in you. And if you do run away I guess the deal would be broken and I would find you again and your chance would be lost."

"Not if I killed you." Knives sniffed, wiping away a stray tear that had failed to keep up with the rest.

"…Well, If you do kill me, I have just one thing I beg of you…"

"And what's that?"  
"Just spare the others. Please."

"…Just one year?"

"Yes. Only one."

"…Why? Why take the risk? For all you know I could kill them all and leave you alone to die from misery. Why would you take that kind of risk for me? All I've shown you has been hatred…cruelty…Why do you care?"

"I can't give you a reason. All I can tell you is that I do. And it is because I do that I'm taking this chance with you. And the others…they're willing too. For their own safety I've tried to push them away, but they refuse. And if anything, that should prove to you that they care too."

"Why?"

"Maybe you should ask them that."

"No...You people don't make sense anyway. Even if I try I'll never understand you all…" Knives sighed deeply, staring down at his hands. At his bandages. He had nothing to live for, nothing to gain, nothing to lose…

"Like I said you don't have to answer me right away. Just please…"

"Why not?"


	11. New Eyes

**Chapter Eleven:**

**New Eyes**

The two girls and priest sitting at the table for breakfast looked up when the doors to the mess hall opened. Vash spotted them and waved, coming on over. Following a few steps behind him was none other than Knives. He deliberately refused to look at anybody as he followed and sat down at the table with them all. It was tense, and nobody said a word.

Vash got up for a moment then returned with two bowls of today's morning special: fake oatmeal. He sat down one of the bowls in front of Knives then sat down with his own between his brother and Wolfwood…just in case. They all tried to remain focused on eating their own food, but kept watching Knives from the corners of their eyes. And this did not escape his attention. Knives knew that they were watching him. He never looked at them directly, but used the same tactic they did.

He stared down disdainfully at the contents of his bowl but didn't feel like making an issue of it. He tried to pick up his spoon but it slipped out of his weak and partially numb fingers. He grasped it more firmly this time but as he tried to lift it, it slipped out of his grip again. Sighing, he left it as is, not wanting to try a third time. Reconstructive surgery had been done to repair the damaged nerves and tendons, but the healing would take weeks. In the mean time he was practically helpless.

A tiny little cough caught his attention. Millie, who sat directly across from him, was holding out her freshly unwrapped bagel for him. She had been saving it for a nasty breakfast, such as today, but was willing to give it away and have oatmeal instead. It would be easier for him to keep a hold of instead of trying to maneuver the little spoon. He looked at her for a moment, then accepted it quietly. She pulled the bowl to herself and tried not to grimace at the pasty texture of it. Tomorrow, she would remember to bring two bagels.

It was a pathetic thing to have witnessed, but it was also very heartwarming. As much as he was unhappy with her proximity to the man, Wolfwood could have swept her up and kissed her for compassion on one who didn't deserve it. Just as he hadn't deserved it… (But compassion was as far as it went with Knives, he thought huffily). Meryl suddenly cleared her throat.

"So…What is on the agenda for today?" She asked trying to act nonchalant, her bruises a lovely purple now.

"You know, I'm not really sure…" Vash mused shoveling in another spoonful, completely unfazed by the horrible taste (or lack thereof). "The usual routine for us all has been…uh…rearranged. So I guess that we just wing it."

"You mean just waste the day away trying to find something worth doing." Knives said quietly, surprising them. Everyone had just sort of expected him to sit there. Not participate in conversation.

"Well, yeah kinda." Vash said, caught off guard. "You have something you want to do?"

"Not particularly…" Knives said, resuming eating.

"Well I guess for starters we can get you a room set up, unless you want to go back to your other one." Knives glared at him. "I kinda thought not. I can find you a room near mine in case you need anything."

"I will pick my own. And I can handle myself."

"Like you did there with eating." Wolfwood pointed out. Meryl kicked him hard under the table. "Ow!"

"Excuse me." Knives said then got up and walked out of the room. Vash trailed close behind.

"Hey! Where are you going?" He asked, catching up.

"Anywhere but in there." Knives snapped at him.

"I thought you agreed that you were going to try."

"I said I would go along with you little deal, but I refuse to sit quietly and be mocked and treated like that."

"Like what?" Knives stopped and turned to face him.

"You know exactly what. You saw them all, hell, you've even done it. They act all hesitant around me, not because they feel threatened, but that they're afraid that they're going to hurt me. Like I said, I don't want pity. I won't tolerate being treated like I'm frail just because of these." He said holding up his hands.

"Well, you kinda have to see it from their point of view too Knives. They are as unsure of how to handle the situation as you are. I've told them what's going on and they've agreed to it, but they really don't know how to act towards you."

"They certainly had no problems with it when I was behind bars."

"You're not exactly behaving like you normally would either, so it's kind of a two way street here. Please just give it awhile and things won't seem so strange and tense. Please? And I'll talk with Wolfwood, ok? Just please come on back with us."

"Fine. But when you do talk with them all again make it explicitly clear that I do not want what I did mentioned and I don't want them to feel sorry for me. I can't stomach it."

"I'll let them know. Common, lets go." Vash said and they headed back to the mess hall.

The three looked up with fewer reservations when they came back in and sat down. Everything was normal except that Wolfwood had a suspiciously hand shaped red mark on the left side of his face. Breakfast was resumed with little conversation. Nobody knew what to say, it was just too new. It was clear that this would take a little getting used to. Afterwards, when everyone was finished and rose to leave Knives remained quietly sitting.

"What are you doing? Aren't you coming?"

"I'll join you in a moment. I would like to have a word with you in private first." He said looking at Meryl. A wave of slight unease ran through the group but she waved them on out and sat back down across from him.

"You wanted something?" She hesitantly asked.

"Don't take this the wrong way." He flatly began. "I know that Vash is taking it easy on me right now but as time goes on he's going to get pushier about these things. And to save myself the annoyance of him nagging about it I would like to apologize now for hurting you. And because I know he'll press about this too, I would like to thank you as well for making him come check up on me. You saved my life." Meryl was momentarily rendered speechless. She had defiantly not expected this.

"…I don't really know what to say Knives." She managed after a moment.

"I don't expect you to say anything. I already told you not to take it the wrong way."

"If you insist. But for the record…apology accepted and you're welcome."

-L&P-

"These are looking _much_ better." The head of the med wing said, undoing the bandages and closely examining Knives'es wrists. "If they keep healing at this rate it won't be very much longer until we can take the stitches out. I trust that you've been keeping them immobile?"

"Yes. In fact, I've hardly been allowed to do anything for myself the past week." Knives said with a sidelong glance at Vash who was standing in the doorway of the examination room.

"Yes, well…While it may seem annoying it really has helped the healing process. There will be scarring unfortunately."

"It doesn't matter."

"If you are aright with it then I'm not one to argue. It's just that some people are very self-conscious about scars, especially those of this nature."

"I'm not 'some people'."

"As I can see." The doctor said unpulsed. "Now I need you to touch each of your fingers in turn to your thumb, like so." He said giving him an example. Knives did as asked.

"Some weakness and slight ill coordination I see. Don't worry though; once it heals some more and you begin to use them more, your dexterity will return. Now let's check up on another aspect. Tell me if you feel anything.

"Yes." Knives snapped at the man, fighting the urge to hit him for the pinprick to the tip of his finger. After the tests were done, the doctor happily declared his progress excellent but warned him against excessive movement and to let someone else handle the changing of his bandages. After he was re-bandaged, Knives left the man without a word and went with Vash.

"I'm glad that it went so well. I was worried that they might have to do surgery again."

"Is that man always that annoyingly happy or was it just me?" Knives said, pulling down his sleeves to cover the fresh wrappings.

"Oh it's just him. He's always been that way. He picked it up from his grandfather who was head of the wing before him."

"It's annoying." Knives mumbled.

"Hey! I've got an idea!" Vash said clapping his hands together.

"I'm not going to like it, am I?"

"Since your feeling a lot better and I'm betting a little bored as well, why don't we go to town today? Just the two of us?"

"What?"

"Town. You know…get out of this ship and into the sun for once. Get some fresh air…What do you say?"

"Whatever."

-L&P-

"So! What do you want to do today?" Vash asked Knives brightly as they walked on into town.

"I don't know. You're the one dragging me out here. I figured that I would just follow you around and try to put up with whatever you decided to throw at me." Knives said sullenly, uncomfortable with being around so many people at once. He couldn't help but feel threatened, and his anxiety came through in his body language. He pulled down at his sleeves, trying to cover his bandages. The last thing he wanted was attention from anybody here.

"Oh relax Knives…" Vash said, clapping his brother on the back. "It's not like I'm going to let them eat you or torture you or anything. It's just a day out on the town."

"Could have fooled me…" He muttered. He looked out at all the people milling about. They were all different shapes, sizes, and ages. Most of them seemed calm and relaxed now, but Knives knew that could change in a heartbeat. Or a gunshot. In a moment they could turn from a calm populace to a raging mob. He just wished that this day would hurry and be over with.

"Hey! I've got an idea! All you have is the infirmary clothes and some of my old stuff. Why don't we go get you a new outfit?"

"You brought me all the way out here to play dress up?"

"No, but you could use a change. No offence, but you look kinda rough. You didn't even shave this morning."

"For the record, I hate shaving. And the problem is only compounded when I'm under scrutiny while doing it."

"Ok, ok. It's not that noticeable. But if you keep it up you're gonna look like Wolfwood. You do need some new clothes though. But if you have any _better_ ideas about what you want to do…" Vash teased. Knives just glowered at him, but said nothing to the contrary. Smiling in victory, Vash grabbed him by the arm and pulled him to the nearest clothing store.

"Welcome! How can I help ya'll?" The bored man at the counter called out to them.

"Hiya! My brother here needs new clothes!" Vash called back, throwing an arm around Knives. Who, in turn, looked as if he would rather shoot himself in the foot then be doing this. The man walked out from behind the counter, giving Knives a quick look over.

"I'd say so. You look rough mister. You'll never catch any girls like that."

"I'm just here because he insisted so. Not that I am after women." He snapped at the man, uncomfortable with the scrutiny.

"Ok sir, whatever you say. Now, let's get your measurements." He said pulling out some measuring tape and stepping towards him.

"You touch me and I'll snap your neck."

"Uhh…"

"Knives…" Vash warned. Knives didn't reply but he did step forward to let the man do his job. Later, the two stepped out onto the street again, Knives in completely new attire. His old worn clothes had been trashed on the spot; he now had on beige pants, a white shirt, and a grey jacket with a slight hue of blue.

"See? That wasn't so bad. And lookin' good too." Vash said, lightly elbowing him.

"Yeah well, if his hand had gone just a _millimeter_ higher I was going to kill him, deal be damned."

"The guy had to get your inseam size, he didn't mean anything."

"With humans you never know."

"Oookaay, moving on…What do you say to getting something to eat?"

"What? And miss out on the chance to eat the great stuff they have back at the ship?" Knives asked sarcastically tugging down at his jacket sleeves; it was almost becoming a nervous tic.

"Ok, if that's what you want. I wonder what it'll be tonight? Half the stuff isn't labeled, so it's always a surprise!" Vash said, countering the sarcasm with his goofiness.

"A surprise isn't exactly what I would call it. Ok, but we're getting real food. I'm sick to death of sweets."

"What's wrong with you?" Vash cried in mock horror. "How can you even say that? Sweets are the ultimate good."

"Well that certainly explains why I have an aversion to them."

"Ahh you're hopeless." Vash sighed good-naturedly. "What about this joint over here."

"Good as any I suppose." Knives muttered, dutifully following behind.

The restaurant was fairly occupied, although not crowded. But Vash could still feel that Knives was uncomfortable with it. To make him feel less tense, he chose a booth as far away from everyone as could be managed. It was the typical homey family owned restaurant. They even had the satellite playing by the bar. It was some snazzy tune that he was unfamiliar with.

"Hey there!" The full figured waitress drawled out strolling on up to them. "What can I get a couple of good lookin' fellas like yourselves?" She asked with a wink.

"What's the special for today?"

"Steak and scalloped potatoes. How about it?" She asked. Vash turned to Knives who just shrugged, blandly observing the pepper shaker.

"Sure!"

"Ok then! And what'll ya'll have to drink?"

"Got any beer?"

"Sure do. And how about you hon?" She asked leaning in slightly trying to get a better look at Knives.

"Water." He said, avoiding her stare.

"Alrighty, I'll be back with your drinks soon." She said then sauntered off.

"Oooh…she was flirting with you." Vash teased.

"How do I make her quit?" He asked irritably. He had agreed to interact with humans, but the line had to be drawn somewhere.

"Why would you want to? She's pretty good looking."

"Do not push me Vash or I swear I will walk out of here right now."

"I'm just picking…" He pouted. "Oh, here she comes."

"Here you go!" She said brightly setting down their drinks. "And your order will be done in a jiffy." She said, throwing one last smile at Knives before taking off again. Was the food even worth it, Knives wondered running a hand over his face while his brother tried not to snicker.

Later, even he had to admit that the food was better than anything that they had on the ship. They took their time there at the restaurant. Vash even managed to snare Knives in conversation that didn't result in an argument or have to do with death and destruction. In the smallest degree, Knives was beginning to relax some, that is...until the waitress returned.

"I hope ya'll found everything all right." She asked, leaning on the table.

"Yeah it was great. Thanks."

"Say, I haven't seen you two around here before. New in town?"

"Uh, kinda."

"Well my shift ends in a few…I could give ya'll a tour of New Oregon, show you the sights, maybe afterwards we could hit the saloon…"

"I uh…ehhehe, well I'm engaged, so sorry miss."

"And how about you hon?" She asked leaning closer to him. "You got someone in your life or is the position…open?" Enough was enough, he thought with a huff.

"Even if I were interested in finding a woman, which I'm not, it wouldn't be such a stereotypical tramp like yourself that would leave me for the next man she saw. And I would choose someone far more intelligent and with a decidedly better personality." He snapped, staring at her. She looked at him for a few moments, absolutely stunned, then ran off in tears. Satisfied with himself he turned back to Vash, who was staring at him hard.

"What?"

"I think you know what. That was a bit…unnecessary."

"Vash, I don't think she would have got the hint if I had said no. She would have probably figured that I was playing hard to get."

"I…um…Well, we'll save how to handle women for another day. But for now we had better pay and get out of here before she sets the manager out on us." He said standing. They walked up to the counter to get their bill. Upon seeing the amount, Vash paused then turned and whispered to Knives.

"You wouldn't happen to have any money on you, would you?"

"No. Why?"

"Oh shoot…I'm kinda short. I guess I spent more than I thought for your clothes." It was at this moment that their waitress, still in tears, stepped out from the kitchen with an older gentleman and wordlessly pointed at them.

"We're in it now…" He muttered to Knives, who just sighed. The day just kept getting better.

-L&P-

"I don't see why we can't just leave. Walk out the door. It's as easy as that." Knives said as he swept.

"Because they would call the law, and you know how that would go from there. Besides, what are you complaining about? I'm the one stuck doing all the dishes, consider yourself lucky." Vash said, rinsing off a plate.

"Lucky? Luck has nothing to do with it. If it weren't for my bandages I would be right there with you."

"Or cleaning out the restrooms."

"Ha. I'd sooner take my chances with the law. There. I'm finished, now let's get out of here."

"Hold on…I got one more plate to wash." Vash said, scrubbing furiously. Their waitress came in, wordlessly dropped a stack of dishes on the counter, then marched off. Vash sadly looked at the leaning soiled tower of dishes. A cat jumped up on the counter and began to lick the dirty plates. "…Ok. You win this time. Let's get out of here." He said quickly drying off his hands and reaching for his coat.

"I'm glad you see things my way for once." Knives smirked. "I'll be a bad influence on you yet." He said as they fled out the back door. Soon they were well away from the restaurant and strolling down the sidewalk, dodging other pedestrians.

"Alrighty! Now that were free…what do you want to do now?"

"I never wanted to be out here in the first place. And everywhere you take us only seems to end in trouble. Can we please just leave now?"

"Oh common…you can't tell me that you haven't enjoyed the day at least in the teeny tiniest itty-bittiest little bit?" Vash whined.

"No." Knives snapped.

"Ok then, what would you have rather done?" Vash asked him. Knives could tell it wasn't meant as to be thrown back in his face. It was an honest question about his preferences. He sighed but didn't answer him. How could he act so cheery? Even after everything that has happened Vash continued to act as if nothing had ever gone wrong and still honestly wanted to know what he wanted to do. Just like the old days. Bored on the ship, their daily pranks played, lessons finished, pestering the crew members in turn until drowsiness overcame them.

"I guess we can go now…" Vash said after Knives'es continued silence. "I don't see much else to do other than hit the saloon, but I don't see that happening anytime soon. That and it'll take us a while to get back to the ship."

"Out of curiosity, does this ship have a rec room?"

"Well it used to, but some malfunctions happened and everything shut down in there. That was about eighty or so years ago. I would have repaired it but by the time I learned of it, it was already too far gone. And I can't seem to hang around long enough to fix it."

"And why didn't they just fix it?"

"Uh well…they were kinda having some problems then. You know…"

"Ah yes. I remember now. Actually I'm surprised that the ship got away from me that time."

"Well you did a number on it, I'll give you that. But they…whoa, hold on a sec." Vash said stopping Knives.

"What?" He asked irritably, pushing Vash'es arm away.

"Those guys up there, I remember some of them from my last visit. They'll be less than thrilled to see me. That and it looks like they're just out for trouble so lets just go this way…" Knives grabbed his arm and stopped him.

"You're not telling me that you're afraid of these guys? Are you?" He asked incredulously. "They're just a bunch of punks. I'm not running from them."

"Common, I don't want to get into any trouble. Besides, remember what the happy doctor said? No excessive movement? I'm sure fighting would constitute as excessive movement."

"I am _not_ going out of my way just to satisfy the ego of those humans." While they stood on the sidewalk loudly bickering it over, they caught the attention of the gang of four by the corner. Curious the four began to approach them. That is, until one mans face lit up with recognition and stopped the other three.

"Aw crap. He's seen me!" Vash said pointing to the arguing men. "We gotta get outta here now before the sheriff comes or bounty hunters…I knew it was a bad idea to come out here today!"

"What! What do you mean you _knew_ it was a bad idea! You're the one who insisted on coming all the way out here!" Knives shouted at him, drawing the attention of numerous pedestrians. The man who had recognized Vash backed off and ran away but the other three boldly stepped forward.

"So." The largest of the three and clearly the lead drawled out. "I hear from my friend who just turned yellow that you're Vash The Stampede."

"Is that so?" Vash nervously asked, laughing loudly and annoyingly. "He must either have a good imagination or a poor memory. Isn't that right Knives?" He asked, nudging him hard in the ribs. Knives looked at him sourly, rubbing his side.

"You can't be serious, can you? Don't tell me that you're afraid of this guy."

"Oh, so we have a tough guy on our hands boys." The leader snickered. The other two snickered along with him. "Knives? Was it? Sounds scary. Well though guy, my business is with him. You had better get lost if you know what's good for you." He snarled jabbing him hard in the chest with a dirty finger. The man's confidence faded slightly as the action earned him an arctic glare.

"You touch me again and you die." Knives promised him flatly. Alarms begin shrieking out in Vash'es head. The man and his companions (aka: backup) laughed at the threat from the lean man.

"Is that so?" He said, reaching out to push him. Vash quickly stepped in between them.

"Ok guys….sorry we're not who you're looking for. Good luck with that though. We'll just get on out of your way so…" The rambling intervention was cut short by a hard right hook. Knives managed to catch him before he fell over, at the same time snatching the gun from the holster. It was like everything happened in slow motion. Vash saw the gun come up to the man's face but was too off balance and reeling from the punch to do anything about it. But the time the men could even think about drawing their guns, the revolver was already aimed directly at the man's forehead.

"Knives please don't do it! Just let him go! Please don't kill him!" Vash desperately begged,

Everyone remained motionless, afraid that any movement would mean disaster. It was Knives who broke the spell, helping Vash fully upright again while his aim never wavered.

"Consider yourself lucky that I didn't also say 'touch him and die'. Although if you don't get out of my sight in _three seconds_…" He warned cocking back the hammer. The man didn't need to stick around to hear the rest of the warning. He turned and ran on rubbery legs to try and catch up with his 'friends' who were already running. As soon as they had turned the corner Knives let the gun slide out of his hand with a sharp cry of pain. Vash snatched the weapon before it hit the ground. He slowly wiped the blood trailing from the corner of his mouth and looked in quiet astonishment at his brother. Knives massaged his wrist absently, staring off to where the men had run. Finally he turned to Vash.

"You alright?"

"Yeah…I've been hit harder before. This is nothing. How…how bad did you hurt yourself?"

"I might have pulled a stitch…we had better head on back." Knives said sullenly.

"Yeah."

It turned out that Knives didn't pull one of his stitches; he pulled two, much to the happy doctor's displeasure. After having the sutures redone and a thorough (yet somewhat amusing) scolding, Knives was sent on again for the second time that day. Before anything could be said Knives had announced that he was tired and not in the mood for company. Before he left to hide away in his quarters Vash stopped him.

"Yes?" Knives calmly asked.

"…Thank you. For…for not killing him." Knives looked at him unreadably for a moment the turned and walked away.

"You had better get some ice on that." He called out before he was lost to the dark halls.

-L&P-

Vash lie awake staring up at the ceiling. Instead of sleeping in that morning he was thinking. And besides, he's had enough sleep lately and was now feeling back in top shape. But even if he was feeling ill, he would still be more concerned for his brother's well being rather than his own. The fact that Knives had tried to take his own life hurt him deeply. He should have been a little more understanding, less preachy. If he had lost Knives that day a piece of himself would have died too. But as dark and as painful the near tragedy was, it still held a glimmer of hope.

He had cried, actually cried. It was the first time that Vash had ever seen Knives express sorrow. The awakening of that lost emotion was a step in the right direction. He was sure of it. And the fact that he accepted Vash'es proposal was a miracle. Two weeks now and Knives was still true to his word. After some hesitation and quite a few false starts, Knives was actually starting to improve.

He was communicating more with the others and actually participating (although somewhat reluctantly) with activities. Thus far, he was the undisputed champion at poker amongst them. He was starting to bicker and debate with everyone again, and was even starting to show his mischievous streak. Vash knew he couldn't tell him directly as it would only push him away, but he was incredibly proud of him. He was doing far better than Vash had dared to hope.

But even more than his improved interactions with the others, Vash was thankful that the empty haunted look was beginning to leave his eyes. The first time that Knives had been left to himself after his suicide attempt, Vash was terrified that he would try again. But he didn't. And slowly the will to live had begun to return, healing in time with the cuts.

The bandages had finally been removed two days ago. Knives still fumbled a little bit with things, but other than that he had regained the use of his hands. Give it a week, Vash thought with a smile, and even the clumsiness would be gone. Although Vash was glad at his brother's recovery, he was also slightly worried.

As Knives slowly regained his fire, would he turn aggressive towards them or would he actually honor the deal? There was just no way of knowing with him. He was just too volatile and unpredictable, as he had always been. Vash was still at as much of a loss at to what to do with him as the day he beat him. Suddenly he felt the urge to go see his brother.

He carefully pried himself out of the embrace of the sleeping woman and got dressed. Despite his insistence of choosing his own room, Knives had chosen one near Vash'es after all. He didn't know what to say the reason of his visit was, especially so early in the morning. 'Oh hi Knives! Sorry about waking you up, but I was thinking about you so here I am!' Vash could see the pillow flying at him now. Or something harder. At least he was getting some of his temper back, Vash noted.

He reached Knives'es door and knocked, waiting this time for an answer. Nothing. He knocked a little louder. Still nothing. Instantly jumping to the worst conclusion, Vash rushed on in. Knives wasn't to bee seen anywhere, not in the bathroom either. He looked carefully around the room for any clues. There were no signs of a struggle so Vash could rule out betrayal from one of the crew members. Knives was very minimalistic in his tastes. The bedroom and bathroom was all he ever used of his apartment. The blankets on the bed were still rumpled up in the same position that they had been in yesterday when he had come by to pry Knives from his room and go outside with everybody. He hadn't been in here all night. Had he run?

Vash quickly went to the nearest security station. Scanning through all the surveillance for the exits from the time he had last seen him, Vash concluded that he was still in here. He checked the video for the mess hall, balconies, plant rooms, and everywhere else with surveillance. Nothing. Where could he have gone? Suddenly his mind rushed to his companions. Private quarters weren't monitored…they could be in danger.

Making record time back to his room he threw the door open. No one in bed. He quickly checked in the bathroom.

"_Iieeee_! Don't just pop in like that! You scared the life out of me!" Meryl scolded, peering out from behind the shower curtain.

"Sorry. Can't explain now. Keep the doors locked until I come back." He said then was gone. He was just being paranoid, he tried to tell himself. Knives was probably bored and went for a walk. But he's not outside. Ok then, he's wandering about inside. He's not on surveillance. There is no reason whatsoever to think that he would be up to something. Just because he disappeared without a word or trace doesn't mean a thing. But he has been returning to his old self and he did threaten to…Panicking, he pulled open the door to Wolfwood and Millie's room.

"WHAT THE HELL VASH?" Wolfwood raged at him. Vash quickly closed the door. Nope, defiantly not there. Ok, calm down and stop freaking out. Just because he tried to kill us all before and that he's missing doesn't mean that he's planning to do the same now. Benefit of the doubt, you know? Think. If you were Knives and you were bored what would you do, he pondered, pacing. Then suddenly it hit him.

Using a flashlight, Vash carefully made his way through the closed off section of the ship until he finally found the door he wanted. Recreational Room. Holding the flashlight in his teeth he pried open the doors. The vegetation had long died off, leaving only barren soil. Lanterns had been placed sporadically throughout the room. And then Vash saw him. Knives was stretched out by the gutted regulation systems, asleep.

Vash walked up to him quietly, smiling. He was trying to get the rec room operational again. Vash could see where he had brought in tools to remove the dead tree and get the soil usable again. He had already done quiet a job. Vash knelt down to inspect what he had been doing with the regulation systems. A fair amount of the technology needed to be replaced. Knives must have been at it all night and had fallen asleep mid task.

Upon seeing what Knives had been trying to do, restore an old abandoned place of peace, Vash felt a pang of guilt for his suspicions and mistrust. What would Knives say if he found out? 'I knew you would expect the worst of me. So much for faith, brother…' Vash bowed is head in shame. I'm sorry Knives, he thought. You've been trying so hard for me and I turn on you like that. But no more, he thought backing quietly out of the room. I said I would trust you and I will. I promise.

He left quietly, not wanting to wake Knives. Vash knew that he would only be embarrassed if he was found like this. He would just act like nothing happened until Knives was ready to reveal it to him. In the mean time…he had some serious explaining to do to several people.

-L&P-

Knives stood outside, leaning heavily on the balcony railing. He closed his eyes, taking in the sun, feeling the wind through his hair. It was a sensation he had all but forgotten in his time encased in the old ship at Demitrihi, and more recently here. Despite the harsh sun, and the sandy wind that would leave your skin raw if unprotected, he had spent an increasing amount of time outside lately. He supposed that he was getting nostalgic for the desperate and hardship filled days long past.

Day after day in the heat, cold frigid nights, desperate struggle…it was just him and the will to survive. It was so much simpler then. Things were so much clearer. And he could smell it all again in the evening desert air. He smirked to himself. He was getting as sentimental as Vash, he thought. What bad habit would wear off on him next?

Things were…slowly gaining some sort of equilibrium, Knives supposed. The others were more relaxed and natural around him, although they still held a degree of caution (as well they should). Perhaps the way things were going was tolerable. Although it was certainly not enjoyable. He did not relish living with these people, but he would honor the agreement. If anything to spite those that did not believe he could. Then…his freedom.

How far he had fallen, Knives thought running his thumb over one of the red and raised scars on his wrist, resisting some strange instinct to lick the healing injury. He wasn't in that pitiable state of despair anymore, but he hardly thought his life was worthwhile. He felt…lost. Really that was the only reason he went along with façade of coexistence. Until he found direction, until he found his own way again, he would continue to follow along with them. He would anchor himself to them until he was strong enough to fight the tide on his own.

But what would he do then? While he would like to be rid of them, extermination of the human race was no longer within his reach. He simply did not have the power to do so anymore. He could attempt to wage a one man war against the world but would quickly fall to their sheer numbers.

And the plants…what could he do for them anymore? The unfortunate souls. It was now and forever beyond his power to release them. And they would not wake on their own. Never. Not while humans were around. Although it was a likely possibility that people would exterminate themselves, Knives doubted that he would live to see that. Perhaps he could invest in a way to keep the plants alive and well even long after he was gone. So that when the day came that humans ceased to be those remaining could awake and create a paradise. Without him.

The sound of the door opening pulled him from his reverie. Knives didn't turn around, he just waited for the intruder of his thoughts to either join him or leave. He tried to suppress a sigh of frustration as the person chose the former.

Wolfwood walked up beside of him with his ever present toothpick and cross. He stared at Knives for a long hard moment, who stared right back, then looked out over the desert. He took the splintered toothpick and flicked it out over the edge.

"I thought I might find you here." Wolfwood finally said.

"Really? And why were you looking for me?" Knives asked him.

"Ever since this little…deal began, I've been watching you."

"I've noticed."

"While Vash may have plenty of years of experience on me truthfully he's still a little naïve. It's somewhat amazing for someone of that age."

"Tell me something new." Knives snapped, looking out across the desert. He's not as blind as you might think, he thought to himself.

"I've noticed that lately he's getting a little…too relaxed around you. My point is…you're not fooling me Knives. I used to work for you after all. And I also know that nobody changes their ways that easily." They glared at one another. "The others may be getting used to you now. And I'll play along with this as long as you do, but just know one thing…I'm watching you. And the moment you even _think_ of turning on us, I'll be there. And don't expect me to hold back."

"Good." Knives said pushing back from the railing, grinning slyly. "I wouldn't have it any other way." He said then disappeared back into the cool interior of the ship.

-L&P-

"Out of all the places on this God forsaken planet, why people would want to spend their time here is a mystery to me." Knives griped as the five of them took their seats at the bar of the local saloon. This was another one of Vash'es 'get Knives out and about' ideas. And from the look of things, it was going to be as exasperating as their other excursions.

"You two are defiantly brothers." Wolfwood mused, setting his gun aside. "You whine as much as he does."

"And you're an imbecile." Knives snapped back. Wolfwood gave him the one finger salute.

"Now children…play nice." Meryl scolded. "And for the record, this time I agree with Knives. Saloons are noisy, they smell, and they are loaded with people that don't know how much is too much."

"Like needle noggin here."

"_No_."

"You lie, lie, lie."

"Hey, to my defense I don't drink that much anymore. Thank you." Vash said loftily. Wolfwood made a noise of disbelief.

"Who I was _referring_ to is that fellow over there." Meryl interrupted, pointing to the sagging musician at the piano. The poor man was nearly falling off his seat, and he was playing so badly not even the slightest semblance of a melody could be picked up. Their discussion was forgotten as they got their drinks. It was an order of one beer, one straight whisky, two waters, and a tea.

"I think I've gotten mixed up here Vash…" Knives began. "But I thought the purpose of all of this is to get me more accustomed, and therefore tolerant, of the human race. Not further repulsed by them." He said looking around the bar.

"You seriously need to lighten up Knives. Do you even remember how to have fun? And by the way, you're not going to get anywhere drinking that." Vash said, pointing at the water.

"If you're suggesting that I should get drunk, you can forget it."

"Common Mr. Knives, drinking is fun!" Millie piped up.

"Could you stop calling me mister?"

"First you get all warm all over, then everything gets really funny. You should try it. Although nobody lets me drink too often."

"I can imagine why. You…" He began, but was interrupted by a particularly loud sour note from the pianist.

"Ah, Knives doesn't drink…that's because he can't take it." Wolfwood teased, knocking his drink back.

"I have no desire to make a fool of myself. But you go on ahead. It'll probably be an improvement to your usual personality."

"Is that supposed to be an insult? If so I'm cut to the quick Knives, I don't think I can go on."

"Will you two cut it out for once? It getting old fast." Meryl said wearily, taking a drink from her water. Them bickering and the awful music was enough to make her want to shoot someone. She just couldn't decide on who first. Oh decisions…Another sour key effectively made up her mind.

Abruptly Knives pushed his water away and stood up. At first they watched with confusion as he walked away then with rising apprehension as he pointedly approached the inebriated performer. The man was numbly fumbling with his sheet music when he was abruptly grabbed by the collar and pulled out of his seat.

"Heay! Wadda thenk you're doin?" The man asked, turning to face the offender. His anger faded slightly as he had to crane and look up to see the man glairing down at him.

"You are a disgrace to that instrument and a prime example of the human race for your lack of self control. Why don't you take your obnoxious intoxication elsewhere and save everyone the annoyance of having to hear you." Knives said disdainfully.

"You cana talk to me like thaat!" The drunken man raged. Foolishly, the man took a swing at Knives. The blow never even came close to impacting. With a single backhanded strike, the man was rendered bloody and unconscious on the floor. The patrons of the bar broke out into a round of applause for Knives in appreciation for ridding their ears of their tormenter. Vash hid his face in his hands, sighing.

"At least he didn't kill him…" Meryl tried to comfort him, although she was also grateful for the relief as well.

Knives glared down at the man on the floor. Pathetic, he thought to himself. Instead of returning to the table, he sat down at the piano himself. After a quick look at the selection he brushed off the crinkled sheet music onto the floor, he didn't need it.

The four back at the bar simply stared in amazement, mouths slightly agape, as a ritzy quick paced show tune filled the air. A mummer of approval rippled throughout the bar. Vash was the first to recover from the shock.

"Whooooo! Go Bro!" He cheered out. "Yeah!"

"Yeah well, if you expect me to sing too you're going to be disappointed." Knives called back to him over his shoulder. If Vash didn't know any better, he could have swore he saw the traces of a smile on Knives'es face.

"Oh my gosh, I didn't know he could play." Millie said clapping in time with the beat.

"Hey…I'm the only pianist allowed in the group." Wolfwood sulked. Annoyed because he knew that he wasn't up to that skill level. Knives just has had a lot longer to practice that's all, he decided with a huff.

"Why don't you go join him? You know, a duet?" She suggested.

"Nah, I'll let him handle the ivories himself. Besides, he looks like he's having fun with it."

"He sure is good…" Meryl said, watching in fascination. "Why didn't you tell us he could play?" she accused.

"Hey! I didn't know myself!" Vash said defensively. "This is a surprise to me too."

"I don't suppose you play or anything…"

"Well, I used to be ok on a guitar but I had to give it up."

"Aww…how come…" Millie pouted. Vash wiggled the fingers of his left hand sadly.

"Can't feel the strings…But I do have the most enchanting tenor you've ever heard, if I do say so myself." He said, striking an operatic pose.

"Spare us. Please." Wolfwood teased. Vash threw a pretzel at him.

"Aw, he quit." Millie said a minuet later, watching as Knives rose from the piano and came to rejoin them. There was protest from the patrons of the bar, but an acid look from Knives shut them up. They decided that they could do without. He sat down and quietly began to drink his water.

"…What?" He demanded after being stared at in silence for a few moments. "I just didn't want that awful music stuck in my head. That's all."

"And where did this come from? You're a musician?" Meryl demanded, crossing her arms.

"What? You think I've just sat on my ass the past hundred years? I've took the time to study all of the higher arts."

"A renaissance man, huh? And when did you become such an artist?" Vash asked him curiously.

"It's not like that. And I would rather not explain my reasoning; I'm not in the mood for an argument."

"Ah." Vash said, catching his drift.

"Go play another one. Pleeeese?" Millie begged, giving him her cutest most pleading eyes.

"No." He said flatly, rubbing at his wrists and pulling down on his sleeves.

"Ok then. What else can you do?"

"Get angry if I'm not left alone."

"Like I said…you need to relax." Vash said shaking his head. "Here. Since your feeling adventurous this evening, try a drink." He said offering his bottle.

"Get that out of my face." Knives snapped. They were at it back and forth for the next ten minuets. Vash whined, pleaded, and begged for Knives to try it, just a little…And Knives, with an increasing level of annoyance, told him no and began to lecture him on all his bad habits.

Desperate to get away before he killed them, Wolfwood excused himself for a moment then stepped outside. Looking at the small group smoking at the corner, Wolfwood was slightly nostalgic for his cigarettes. He began to fish around in his pockets for anything to chew on, finding an old match. It might look odd, but he supposed it would work. He was bringing it up to his mouth when he paused. He had heard a familiar name mentioned from the group of smokers.

"I'm not kidding about this! Seriously, it's him."

"Yes but how _sure_ are you? I don't want to bust in there and make an ass out of myself for the wrong guy."

"I remember him from the incident back at the radio station. And I saw him out on the street with some other guy just the other day. Do you think I could actually forget somebody that can dodge a fricken' bazooka?"

"Alright, just calm down Randal. We need to think about how we're going to do this. You, go get the others, we're gonna need more people and we need to move fast while we still have the element of surprise." Looks like happy hour's over early, Wolfwood thought, heading back inside.

The scene that met him when he returned to the bar was one of Millie laughing hard, Meryl exasperatedly holding her face in her hands, Knives stiffly glaring at Vash with his arms crossed, water glass empty, while Vash tried to dry his hair off the best he could with his sleeve, obviously having pushed Knives too far.

"Did you see what he did?" He whined as Wolfwood approached.

"I can guess. Look guys, we're gonna have to cut this trip short. There's a bunch of guys outside getting ready to launch a get rich quick scheme. _If_ you know what I mean."

"Like what?" Millie asked.

"Oh no."

"Oh great…" Vash sighed. "Let's get out of here before anybody gets hurt." He said getting up, on alert. Collectively they made for the back hall. Just as they reached the door they heard shouting and chaos kick up back in the main room. Then the back door flew open as well. The two would be attackers froze in place as numerous assorted weapons were aimed at them. With a strange noise somewhere between a whimper and a giggle they dropped their guns and ran.

"Ok, now what? Our car's out front. There's no way we can get it without being noticed. And someone is bound to find us if we try to get back to the ship on foot."

"It's simple." Knives said. "Neutralize the threat."

"Un-uh." Meryl said firmly. "If we attack it will only prove their accusations. And then the next thing you know, we'll have a whole bar full after us, then the city. Let's not turn this into another Ineperil. Ok?"

"How about that?" Millie asked, pointing to the bar owners truck a few yars away.

"The lord will provide!" Wolfwood cheered. "Let's get out of here." The back door burst open and several of the attackers ran out only to be rendered unconscious. This caught the attention of the others. They all ran out and unleashed a volley of bullets as the truck pealed away into the night.

"Eeeheheheee. I'm drivin'. I'm drivin'." Millie giggled, keeping the pedal to the floor.

"Is everybody alright?" Vash called out over the wind.

"I'm ok."

"Perfectly fine spiky."

"Just peachy…"

"I'm drivin'!"

"Oh good…" He sighed in relief.

"If this is what I'm going to have to put up with for the whole year, you can just lock me up now. I'm guaranteed to live longer!" Knives shouted to him over the wind and squeal of the tires, holding on tightly. "Especially with her driving!"

"Millie…hon…you can slow down now. They're not chasing us." Wolfwood timidly said, clinging to the passenger's seat with a death grip.

"Even if they were after us they're out of luck! Just try to catch me suckas! Whoooooo!"

"Oh God! Watch out!"

"Iieeee!"

"_Millie_!"

"Are you people _insane_!"

-L&P-

They tiredly trudged towards the nearest entrance to the ship, having had said farewell to the poor truck several iles back. Between the alcohol and the adrenaline they didn't know whether or not to fight with one another or laugh.

"So Knives…what did ya think of your first trip to a saloon?" Vash said throwing an arm around his shoulder.

"Words fail me." He said brushing Vash off. While he had been…entertained, Knives began to wonder if he would _live_ to taste freedom.

"I'm really sorry you guys…" Millie timidly began. "You all wouldn't have to walk if it weren't for me. I just get a little…carried away behind the wheel."

"Well I can most defiantly say that was a memorable ride. And I'm hiding the keys whenever I get my Angelina III."

"Someone should hide the keys from you too. You always buy junk bikes."

"_What_ did you say?"

"You heard me. I know of two occasions you've nearly died out in the desert because your bike broke down. And for all I know there are others."

"That's confidential."

"You name you're machines?"

"Only motorcycles." Wolfwood said defensively.

"Whatever."

"Ha. This is nothing Knives." Meryl told him. "You're just lucky that we got out of there in time. I'm not talking about the bounty hunters I'm talking about these two. Getting them around alcohol together is almost enough to make you want to pull your hair out sometimes."

"Hey…that's mean…Tickle payback time!"

"No! Stop it! Eeerrahaaah! You know I hate that, you spiky haired…"

"Knock it off." Knives griped, rolling his eyes. "Can't you do that elsewhere?"

"Hey!" Millie cried out, stopping the argument before it began. "Isn't that Doc waiting for us?" As they approached the door, they saw it was indeed the old scientist. And he appeared to be troubled about something.

"Hey Doc, what's wrong? Whaddaya waiting out here for us for?" Vash asked him.

"It is about time you all returned. I've been worried that something might have happened already."

"Something _did_ happen to us. You must be psychic."

"What do you mean by _already_, Doc?"

"It seems that word has got out about your presence here. I just picked it up on the satellite scan an hour ago. The Calvary is scheduled to arrive in the morning."

"_What_!"

"Yes. And when you all did not return I feared that it was too late." He said, nervously rubbing his hands together.

"We have to get out of here. Like…tonight." Wolfwood said insistently.

"Oh no…I'm going to miss everybody…"

"What about you and everyone here Doc? I can't just run and leave you to take the heat. Do they even know that we've been staying here? And what about the others? What kind of story could…"

"Now see here." The Doc said firmly, stopping Vash before he could get going. "I've already thought of what to do should something like this happen, so don't you dare worry about us."

"I can't help it. This was my home. You all are my friends. You've done so much for me and now I have to just run away? What if I never see you again?"

"It is for the best." The old man smiled sadly. "We've known each other a good many years Vash. A life time. But I'm afraid that I don't have much longer to offer."

"Don't say that…"

"You know as well as I that it is true. And I would rather say goodbye now and see you off rather than the other way around."

"Please don't talk like this..."

"It's perfectly fine. I have no complaints about my life. But you have to leave here if you are to move on with yours. Although what you'll do without me to constantly maintain you I don't know." He laughed.

"…Me neither." Vash laughed, wiping at the corners of his eyes.

"You all had better hurry and get your things packed. There are several vehicles out back we'll get one of them stocked for you. And I advise you head west as the Calvary will be approaching from the east."

"Thanks Doc. For everything…"

-L&P-

The sun rose to their backs, the golden light racing out across the desert ahead of them. In the cramped vehicle little was said. Not one of them had gotten any rest that night. The dark hours had been spent in a whirlwind of packing, checking, farewells, and finally sand as they took off across the desert. Even now with the night spent and dawn arriving they still had no desire to sleep. Each was lost in their own thoughts as they stared out arose the sky.

They had all said that they hated the place. They each had their own complaints. The food, boredom, confinement, and ect. But after the months of living there, with so much happening amongst them, it still felt as if they were leaving home as the towering metal giant faded off into the horizon. Probably never to be seen again.

"And so it begins." Knives said prophetically, sitting up front with Vash.

"I guess so." Vash said quietly, hiding behind his glasses.

"Do…do you think they'll be ok?" Meryl hesitantly began. "I mean, do you think that they'll be able to convince the Calvary?"

"Their story will be believable enough from what they learned back in January. They knew that the guns held some form of plant so it shouldn't be that much of a shock to them that I had infiltrated the ship as a technician and was causing the problems so I could have easy access to the technology to create more weapons." Vash said darkly.

"If lies like that keep getting spread, you're never going to improve your rep." Wolfwood said.

"There was no other option. Besides I'm used to being made out to being a monster. No one will believe otherwise. In fact it seems to be the worlds default…when something goes wrong to blame it on me. It's actually convenient sometimes. Though that doesn't make it any less painful." The five in the car fell into uncomfortable silence. Finally it was Knives who was the one to break the morose mood that had seemed to settle over everyone.

"Are we to just wander aimlessly or is there some particular destination that we are making for?"

"That depends…" Vash said, pushing up his glasses. "Do you guys have anywhere you need to go, or is it alright if I choose?"

"It's fine with me." Wolfwood said. "Why? Do you have somewhere in particular in mind?"

"Yeah…I do."


	12. Patience

**Chapter Twelve:**

**Patience**

"Owww! Just let me go! I can find my own way back home you know!" Lina snapped at the man, trying to pry the vice-like grip off of her ear. As if she didn't have enough pain already from her black eye.

"Of that I am quite certain. I am just accompanying you to make sure you actually get there. And to make sure that your grandmother knows what you have done." The weary minister said leading her on, thanking the lord that the house was just up ahead.

"It's not that big of a deal. And besides, shouldn't you punish them? It was three against one you know."

"I will speak with their mothers but it was you, after all, who started the fight. That one poor boy is going to need stitches."

"Shoulda watched his mouth…" Lina muttered as they walked up onto the porch. The minister firmly knocked three times, finally letting go of the girl. She rubbed her ear sourly, giving him a death glare.

"Yes! Coming. Coming." The muffled voice within called out. Sheryl opened the door, saw her granddaughter and the displeased church man and sighed. "What did she do this time?"

"What makes you think that it was me?" Lina cried out indignantly.

"Another fight. Just thank the lord that it wasn't as bad as last time."

"Thank you for bringing her home brother. I'll take it from here." Sheryl said. The minister bid them farewell, once again thankful that he never had children, and left. The two on the porch waited until the man was gone. Before her grandmother had a chance to speak, Lina beat her to it.

"You don't understand grandma! I had a good reason this time!"

"Lina…you can't keep doing this." Sheryl said, wearily sitting down on the steps. She beckoned Lina on over to sit beside her. After a brief moment of quiet rebellion, Lina set down beside her with a sigh. "This is the third fight this month…"

"Yeah but you should have heard what they said! Bunch of backstabbing twofaced gossipers. They used to be his friends! It's not fair…"

"No it's not dear, but you can't control what other people say or think. The world is just too narrow minded. You can't control others lives, to try and do so will only break yourself."

"But its not right grandma! I can't just sit there and do nothing. I have to try…" She managed to say before her emotions got the best of her.

"There, there Lina…It'll be alright." Sheryl said taking up her granddaughter in an embrace.

"But it's been so long…what if he's h-hurt or needs h-help?"

"There's nothing we can do dear…"

"I really… (hic)…miss him…"

"So do I dear. But all we can do is wait." She tried to comfort. Eventually Lina calmed down and pulled away from her. She wiped her face off on her sleeves, but said nothing.

"…"

"Huh?" Lina said, looking up.

"What dear?"

"I heard something."

"…heeey!" A faint voice called out.

"Look grandma. I think somebody's coming." She said standing up. Squinting against the glair of the sun she could see five silhouettes approaching the house on foot. "Huh?" She walked out to the fence and stared hard.

"heey!...Liiinaaa!" The closest figure waved to her. It couldn't be…

-L&P-

"You guys are gonna to love her. She's just the cutest kid you'll ever meet. Sure she can be a little…impetuous, but that's part of what makes her so cute." Vash rambled on to them all happily.

"You had better watch out needle noggin…she's commin…" Wolfwood warned but Vash paid him no mind.

"And wait until you meet Grandma. I swear she can cook anything! Foods that I've never even heard of. Like…oh what was it called again…"

"You might want to look out…"

"I remember now! It was…Oh! Hey Lina! Long time no…" The rest of that thought was lost in a harsh exhalation of air as Lina tackled him hard in a hug, knocking him over.

"It sure as hell was a long time no see! What? Were you planning on making me wait for you forever! I've missed you, you big jerk! See this black eye? _See_ _it_? It's all your fault and you had better not forget it! Now you had better get you butt up off of the sand and give me a hug or else you're going to have one to match! Got that?"

"Impetuous?" Knives whispered to Meryl. She didn't reply, she could sympathize with the kid.

"I've missed you too!" Vash said, heeding the warning and hugging her tightly. After a long moment Lina let up, but before Vash could get back to his feet he was tackled (although far gentler this time around) with another tearful embrace.

"You have no idea how much we've missed you. It's been too quiet around the house without you causing all kinds of ruckus." Sheryl cried, then abruptly held him back. "Have you been eating good enough? And not just talking about sweets. Let me take a look at you…You haven't got hurt any more, have you?"

"He had better not." Lina warned, shaking her fist at him.

"I'm fine you two…can you please let me up now?" He asked timidly.

"Oh, sorry dear." Sheryl said, letting go of him. Vash stood up and brushed himself off. Wolfwood coughed to get their attention. Sheryl and Lina seemed to notice the other four for the first time.

"Who are these people?" Lina asked bluntly.

"(Be nice Lina…) I see you brought company with you." Sheryl said noting the four standing a few heels away. "Are you going to introduce us?"

"Oh yeah! Sorry! You've already met Wolfwood."

"Yo."

"And this is Millie."

"Hehee, hi!"

"This lovely little lady is Meryl."

"Nice to meet you."

"And the guy trying to hide back there is Knives."

"Hff."

"You two look almost identical." Lina noted with awe. "Are you brothers or something?"

"Figured that out on you own did you?" Knives said disdainfully. "Why aren't you a regular little…" Vash quickly clamped his hand over Knives'es mouth.

"Ehehehee…You'll have to forgive Knives here. He suffers from a rare and tragic disorder called 'crankyitis'. It forces someone to wake up on the wrong side of the bed every morning. You might want to keep you distance…its contagious."

"Would you get the hell off me?" Knives snapped, swatting him away.

"Oh and everybody, just in case you couldn't guess…this is Grandma and this is Lina. And isn't she so cute…" He said, cuddling her as he would a stuffed animal. That is until she elbowed him in the stomach.

"Don't _even_ think you're getting off that easy. I want to know where you've been and who these people are." She pulled him down and grabbed him by the ear. "Do I make myself clear?"

"Owww let goooo…Wait! Somebody help meeee!" He cried out as she drug him back towards the house.

"You'll have to forgive Lina. She's just been very hurt by his absence. That's all." Sheryl said to the group. "And you don't have to call me grandma, Sheryl is just fine."

"Well it's nice to meet you Grandma Sheryl! I'm glad to finally be able to. Vash has told us so much about you two!" Millie cheered.

"Who?...Oh…yes. Sorry, it's still taking us a while to get used to his real name. We knew him as Ericks, not as the legendary gunman."

"Don't worry, no matter what you call him he'll still be the same goofy guy." Meryl jumped in.

"Oh I know this dear. It is just a shock that such a horrible reputation could follow such a sweet person."

"Vash draws trouble like carrion draws the buzzards." Knives commented, sourly watching as the child continued to bully his brother.

"It must run in the family." Wolfwood threw at him.

"As a matter of fact, it does. Now can somebody go rescue him so we can get out of here?" He snapped.

"Oh dear…" Sheryl said taken aback by the harsh behavior.

"Just ignore him." Meryl stepped in, throwing Knives a look. "We really didn't mean to drop in on you two like this. He wouldn't tell us where we were going until we got here, so it was a surprise for us too."

"It's no inconvenience, not at all. In fact, Lina and I would be honored to have you all over."

"We don't want to impose…"

"Sush. I won't hear of it. Now all of you come on. You must be tired. And what would you all like for dinner?"

-L&P-

"And then he had to go to the hospital _yet_ _again_…" Lina told everyone around the dinner table, receiving a round of laughter.

"Do ya _have_ to tell stories about me?" Vash whined, determined not to blush.

"Just consider it as well deserved pay back."

"I had my reasons…"

"Which you won't tell."

"That's because it's kinda hard to explain."

"You haven't even tried!"

"I'm thinking!"

"You're not thinking, you eating!"

"That's because I'm hungry!"

"You had better tell me right now or else I'm gonna tell about that time at the restaurant." Lina threatened, jabbing her fork at him for emphasis.

"Lina…be nice…" Sheryl tried to intervene. Although she already knew good and well it was pointless.

"Ha! Is that the best you can do? Besides, I've already told them about that on the way up here."

"Ok then…what about the thing with the bandits? Does anybody other than Mr. Preacher know?"

"You wouldn't dare…"

"Oh…I dare…"

"I wanna hear!" Millie said, thoroughly entertained. It reminded her of how dinners would always go back at home. Her brothers were always a hoot to listen to.

"Lina you do and I swear I'll tell them about when I found you diary sitting out. Page forty threeee…" He laughed, dodging the flying silverware.

"…Fine. You win for now. Hurry up and eat so you can tell me."

"Thank you! Do you know how far we had to walk to get here? Or car bid adieu to this world several towns back."

"That's because we let you drive." Wolfwood threw in.

"What does that have to do with anything? It was ready to die no matter who was behind the wheel."

"But it chose to wait until you were." Vash couldn't come up with a decent comeback to this, so he just stuck his tongue out at him.

"Is that the best you can come up with?" Lina said shaking her head sadly. "I thought I taught you better than that. You have to do something like this." She said forcefully scrunching her face up into a god awful expression.

"Will you all just knock it off! You're so annoying. How you can live with yourselves is beyond me." Knives snapped at them all, the last shred of his patience ground away. "When are we leaving?"

"Excuse me, but what is your problem?" Lina demanded, standing up. The four wanderers exchanged a look that could simply be read as 'uh-oh…'.

"I should say that is obvious."

"From the very moment you arrived you've been snappy, rude, and just downright mean. What did _we_ do to piss you off?"

"Lina!" Sheryl scolded. "Watch you mouth."

"I've been rude? From the very moment we walked up you've been a regular little tyrant. Hardly five minuets have gone by without you hitting him once. I have my reasons for being cold and cynical, but you're just an arrogant little child that has never been taught manners."

"Please guys…" Vash tried to step in, but was ignored.

"Please. Tell me your reasons Mr. High and mighty. I want to know what it is you think that makes you so great and gives you free license to be a jerk."

"I highly doubt that you would understand. And the only reason you behave in an overly aggressive and ambivalent way is to cover over your own insecurities and fears. Pathetic."

"Ok you two…that's enough."

"I'm twelve, that's my excuse. But what's yours? You're a grown man, and you still act this way. Who's pathetic now?"

"Shut up you insufferable child."

"Arrogant jerk!"

"Spoiled brat."

"Egotistical moron."

"Lower life form."

"Jackass."

"Aaahahahahaa!" Vash spontaneously burst out into laughing.

"_What_?" Lina and Knives loudly demanded at the same time.

"Sorry, sorry…it's j-just…_Funny_!...A n-name calling contest…ahahahaaa! I would have never expected…Ha ha…ha umm… (cough)…Sorry..." He said timidly, deciding that his food needed closer inspection.

"And what kind of name is 'Knives' anyway? Trying to sound macho?"

"It's Millions Knives, and I did not name myself."

"There's actually a funny story behind that. You see…" Vash tried again.

"Don't you dare tell them." Knives warned.

"We wanna hear!" Wolfwood, Meryl, and Millie cried out at the same time.

"No. And I've had enough of this. Are we leaving or staying the night here? If so I want to go to bed. Now."

"What's the matter? Past your bed time?" Lina asked him sarcastically. Vash could see that Knives'es temper was flaring from amusing to dangerous.

"Uh, Lina…I need to have a word with you." He said. Without waiting for a reply, he scooped her up under one arm and toted her outside, with her kicking and shouting out insults the entire time.

"That child…" Sheryl said shaking her head. "Well it will be a little tight as far as sleeping arrangements go. Lina can sleep with me and you girls can have her room. You can bunk up with your brother in his old room. But I'm not sure where we can put you, Mr. Preacher."

"The couch will work for me. I'm not picky."

"And since you're tired dear, the room is the first door on the left upstairs." She told Knives, who wordlessly turned and left them.

"My…I've never seen such an unhappy young man." Sheryl said as soon as the door upstairs closed.

"Knives…Well lets just say he has some problems." Wolfwood told her. "Although it's really not my place to say. You'll have to ask Vash, that is, assuming that Lina spares him."

-L&P-

"Could you put me down already?" Lina asked, still kicking. "Its hard to breathe like this."

"Sorry. Here you go." He said setting her down out by the fence.

"What's the big deal anyway?" She demanded, hitting him in the arm. "What's the big idea bringing a jerk like that around anyway?"

"Lina…he's my brother."

"That's still no excuse for him to behave the way he does. When I get back in there I'm _really_ going to give him a piece of my mind. He's got off easy so far."

"That's what I really need to talk to you about. Don't go antagonizing him. He's not the kind of person who deals well with that sort of thing."

"What? And just let him have his way? I'm not afraid of him!" She puffed up. Sighing, he took her by the shoulders.

"Lina, you're not listening to me. Knives is extremely dangerous when he's angry. I'm begging you, don't go pushing him. That's why I've been gone…I had to go hunt him down."

"Why would you want him? It's not for his charming personality."

"I can't tell you the whole story, not yet. But Knives and I have been at odds our entire life. He's the one who took off my arm." This certainly got her attention. Quietly she listened. "I had to go hunt him down and not only save everyone from him, but save him from himself."

"Why would you bring someone like that here?" She asked him, uneasy.

"Because I promised that I would come back. And he needs me. He needs to see that there are good people in the world like you and grandma. He's had a…very sad life and doesn't trust others. _Finally_ he's just now starting to co-operate with me. He's not dangerous if you don't annoy him, so please leave him be. If he gets on your nerves or something just take it out on me. Alright? He'll get better; it's just that right now he's a little lost. Please try and understand Lina." He begged her. She sighed and looked away from him. Glancing back at the house, she could see everyone leaving the table and getting ready to go up to their rooms. With a slight start, she saw someone standing in the second story window. Watching them.

"Alright. But you gotta tell grandma too. She's missed you as much as I have. And if your brother keeps it up, she's liable to whack him over the head with a broom or something. You know her."

"Yeah. And I know the broom too. Common, lets go help clean up then the three of us can do some catching up. Like for instance…how exactly you got that black eye…" He said knowingly. Lina flushed and marched right back inside without a word.

-L&P-

"Well it's a good thing you told me. If he had kept that up I was liable to break out the broom on him." Sheryl said with a huff, crossing her arms. "I was beginning to wonder if he had even heard of manners."

"Oh, he knows. He just chooses to ignore them." Vash said with a laugh. After bidding everyone goodnight and telling Knives that he would be there in a while, Lina had drug him into grandma's bedroom so they could talk. The pair sat side by side on the foot of the bed while he sat in a turned around chair.

"It's hard to believe that you two are twins."

"I know who's the evil twin." Lina said under her breath.

"I can hardly believe it sometimes myself. We look alike, but that's it. And I'm really sorry for not telling you guys who I was. I just didn't want you to…run me off or something..."

"Now why would we do that you idiot?"

"Lina! Let's not make this any harder on him than it already is. You don't have to tell us if you don't want to. And you don't have to justify yourself to us. It is a proven fact that reputation rarely reflects reality."

"Thanks. It really means a lot to me. I was worried that I might scare you or something. You know…coming here with Mr. Sunshine, my awful reputation, being armed…"

"Oh come on! Get real!" Lina shouted. "You couldn't even scare a kitten. Why would you go worrying about us for? What in the world am I going to do with you?"

"You know, I get asked that a lot."

"Well now that we know about your brother, care to tell us about the rest of your friends? You're quite the bunch, I do admit." Sheryl said, pushing up her glasses.

"Yeah, tell us." Lina chipped in.

"Oh we're a crew alright. We have been for a while. You already know Wolfwood. He's not exactly an ordinary church man, but he's my best friend. He's saved my butt a few times too, and doesn't hesitate to remind me of it. You can probably get by with anything around him. He used to run an orphanage so he has a soft spot for kids. (Just don't use that to your advantage too much, ok Lina?)." She laughed at him, already plotting which buttons she was going to test out first.

"Millie is about the sweetest person the human race has ever produced. She's one of those rare people who never lost touch with the child within them. Just don't play chess with her. She'll beat you so bad you'll want to cry. And then she'll get upset for making you upset, and…just don't go there. And watch your fingers around pudding. She'll apologize for it later, but if they're in her way they _will_ come off."

"Well then, I know what's going to be for dissert tomorrow night. Any other favorites?"

"Nothing that compares to her love of pudding. Wolfwood's told me that she's actually shot a man over pudding before…Not with a real gun!" He quickly amended, seeing the horrified expressions on their faces. "Oh, they're engaged by the way. Don't forget to tell them congratulations, it'll make them happy. And it's always hilarious to see Wolfwood blush. Ahh, it's the little things in life…"

"And the other young lady? Meryl?"

"Oh. Um, well…"

"Are _you_ blushing?" Lina asked, nearly falling off the bed.

"No I'm _not_."

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"You two…" Sheryl sternly warned, cowing the two into silence. "Now. If you two are finished, I would like to hear the rest. Is that alright?"

"Yes ma'am…"

"Yes ma'am. Well, I don't exactly know where to start about her. She's saved my life on numerous occasions. Is the most amazing person I've ever met. And I'd be lost without her."

"_Awww_." Sheryl cooed. Lina just rolled her eyes.

"I've…I've even asked her to marry me." The old woman let out a shriek of joy, confusing several others within the household, and enveloped him in a bone breaking hug. Lina was a little less enthusiastic.

"How could you ask someone to marry you without my seal of approval?"

"Lina!" Sheryl reprimanded.

"I'm serious! We just met her, how do we know she's good enough for you, huh? I mean…for all we know she's trying to sucker you in to get the reward money."

"Lina now that's enough!"

"Its ok grandma, I think it's sweet that she's concerned." He intervened. Sheryl released him and gave a look to her somewhat sheepish granddaughter.

"Well?" Lina asked him.

"I know for a fact that she's not after the money because if she tried to turn me in she would be arrested too. She became a wanted felon too on my account. So you don't need to worry there."

"Oh." She said, obviously taken aback. "Alright then, but I'm still going to keep my eye on her. And tomorrow…we're having a talk." She huffed, crossing her arms.

"Well don't just sit there dear, tell us everything. How you met, when you fell in love, how you proposed…"

"Well about that…" He said abashedly, rubbing the back of his neck. "I'm gonna have to do it again. My timing was pretty horrible the first time and I don't even have a ring to give her yet. If I can just keep a job…" He mumbled to himself.

"Hold on a moment…" Sheryl said, going over to her dresser. "I think I just might be able to help with that."

-L&P-

Meryl scooted closer to the edge of the bed, futilely trying to find a comfortable position. Millie was an absolute bed hog, a sleep talker, and she kept trying to cuddle in her sleep. She wouldn't have minded so much but Millie had a death grip and Meryl had someone else in mind that she would rather be with.

Millie laughed in her sleep and gave a mighty kick, knocking Meryl in the floor. She looked up at her friend in annoyance, then sighed. She couldn't sleep anyway, no point in sticking around. She pulled off her nightshirt and got dressed. As quietly as she could, she crept out of the room and down the stairs. She spared a smirk at Wolfwood who was hanging halfway off the couch, snoring loudly. She slipped outside into the cool night air and sat down on the porch.

Meryl hadn't been sitting out there all that long when she heard the door open up behind her. She scooted over some, making room for Vash who quietly sat down beside of her.

"Can't sleep?" He asked her, holding her loosely in one arm.

"Nah. Millie's a bully when it comes to sleeping space and she kicks. How about you?"

"Knives is a cover thief. He gets mad if I even _think_ of taking up some of his space on the bed. And it's not a very big bed to start off with."

"I'm starting to think that Wolfwood got the better end of things. He's dead to the world in there."

"Yeah. Although I'm sure he would rather be with Millie. I know that I would rather be with you." Vash said, looking up at the stars. After a minuet of silence stretched by he spoke up again. "Do you want to go take a walk? Since neither of us can get to sleep…"

"I would love to. Where to?"

"Does it matter?" He asked. She just smiled at him. He took her by the hand and they walked out into the sand.

"I really like Grandma Sheryl and Lina. They're really sweet. I'm glad such good people found you and took you in." Meryl said as they walked slowly out across the desert.

"Me too. I don't know what would have become of me if they hadn't shown me such kindness. They practically adopted me. I owe a lot to them."

"You know, Lina kinda reminds me of myself at that age. Except I was more…subtle about it."

"You grew out of that though, huh?" He picked at her.

"Wise guy." She said lightly hitting him in the arm.

"Just to give you a heads up, you're probably going to hear a lot from Lina tomorrow. Even though she's just a little thing, she's really protective over me. Knowing her, she'll give you a good combing over."

"How come?"

"Because I told them about you. That I love you and want to marry you. And speaking of…I do believe that I have a promise to keep." He said stopping and letting go of her hand. He then got down on one knee. "I told you that I would do this properly and I meant it." He pulled the little golden ring with a diamond cut gem out of his pocket and offered it to her. "Will you marry me?"

"Oh…Of course I will Vash!" She said, embracing him tightly. "Where in the world did you get this? It's beautiful."

"Grandma gave it to me. She was proposed to with this ring. She then gave it to her son who offered it Lina's mother. And Grandma said that because now I'm the only son she has left she wanted me to have it. Now I'm giving it to you." He said, slipping it on her finger, praying that it would fit. It did.

"That is one of the sweetest things I've ever heard. I don't even know her that well…I don't even know how to begin to thank her."

"I've already thanked her to the point of pestering her. And I want to repay her too. I've wanted to do this for a while now but couldn't because I wanted to have a ring to give you. Now we can tell everyone and…" The rest of the sentence would have to wait because Meryl took him and kissed him passionately. Soon he forgot what he was going to say all altogether.

-L&P-

Lina sat on the porch steps staring out into the desert. She rested her head on her knees and sighed. It had been such a long eventful day she couldn't sleep. Not when she was afraid of his leaving her again. That's why when she heard the familiar quiet footsteps moving about the house, she was up instantly. She had just managed to creep down the stairs past the loudly snoring priest in time to see him slip out of the front door. He talked quietly with that woman for a while then left. Now she sat here wondering…would he come back?

"I wouldn't waste my time if I were you." Knives said from the doorway, startling her out of her skin. "They won't be back until morning. That's my guess anyway." He said coming to sit down on the steps beside of her. After what she had been told of him, she was a little uncomfortable with his proximity but wouldn't give him the satisfaction of appearing afraid. She had been asked not to anger him, but had been told nothing about fearing him.

"I just don't get it." He continued. "Personally I find the concept of sex disgusting."

"Ew. Ew. Hello, child present. Watch your mouth." She said swatting at him, forgetting her promise not to annoy him.

"Now that gives me déjà vu." He said distantly.

"Huh?'

"I once told someone something similar. Then I had him killed."

"Lovely." She said fighting a shiver. Just make him go away, she silently pleaded.

"You're cold. Go inside." He ordered, misinterpreting the reaction.

"I'm fine thank you." She said loftily.

"Yes and when you fall ill my brother will blame me." Knives said, pulling off his jacket. "If you insist on wasting your time out here waiting at least put this on. Spare us the irritation later." He said holding it out for her. Stunned by the oddly compassionate gesture from the cold man, she reached to take it, but faltered once she caught sight of the scars.

"Problem?" He asked her, knowing full and well what she saw.

"No. No problem." She said taking it and slipping it over her shoulders. "Eri…I mean…Vash…said that you've had a sad life."

"Did he now? According to his definition I suppose it would be considered a sad life. But that is only because it has not been a happy one. Life is life. It does not need an emotional label." He said then turned to look at her, closely observing her. To Lina it almost felt if he were trying to read her thoughts. Her resolution to not fear him began to slip as he continued to hold her under scrutiny.

"What?" She asked angrily, unable to take it any longer.

"Just curious." He said, never looking away.

"About _what_?"

"Why my brother is so attached to you. Or any of them for that matter." He said finally looking away, to her immense relief.

"Who is 'them'?"

"Humans."

"Uhh…you're human too, you know." She said. He was just getting weirder and weirder.

"Am I now?" He said looking back at her. She turned away this time. "Perhaps it's something that I have missed, I don't know. And no one seems to be able to explain it to me. But Vash always seems to develop a strange affinity for anything that harms him."

"What in the world are you talking about?"

"Alcohol, junk food, strong emotional ties that are fated to be broken, the very people who try and hunt him down…you…_me_. He sees nothing wrong with this, but I am uncertain. Is this normal?"

"Are you honestly asking me or is this some kind of mind game?" She asked pulling the jacket around herself tighter.

"If I were playing 'mind games' you would never see it coming." He told her, and she believed him.

"Well…I suppose it is normal, now that you mention it. I'm not sure why you're asking the opinion of a twelve year old, but personally I believe that they're two kinds of people in the world. Those that follow their hearts and those that follow their heads. Judging from my behavior at dinner, I'm sure you can guess which I am." She laughed. The amusement faded quickly as his expression remained unwavering. "And I also know that he is a heart person too. But you, I bet, follow your head. And probably always have."

"Why does everyone think it is a crime to be logical?"

"No no! I didn't say it was bad; in fact it would be good if more people thought things through. Myself included." She said, pointing to her eye. "It's just that the two kinds of people rarely understand one another. You know…oil doesn't mix with water…What I'm trying to say is…as long as you remain firmly on one side of the fence, you'll never know how it looks on the other side. That's why you don't get him."

"I see." He said quietly. "And can you explain why you treat him so?

"Can you?" She asked. Knives said nothing, but stood up.

"I'm in no mood to sit out here and wait. Goodnight." He turned back towards the door.

"Wait! Knives…what about your jacket?"

"…Keep it until morning." He said and was gone.

-L&P-

Vash and Lina walked back through town heading home. Him loaded up with an armful of groceries while she worked on her ice cream. The little household of two had no where near enough food to feed the five extra guests so immediately after lunch. Sheryl sent them out to do some shopping. It would have been just like old times except for the sudden coldness of the townspeople towards him.

"Don't let it bother you." Lina told him. "They're just a bunch of boneheads. And at least they're not running their mouths. I guess they're afraid of Lina's left hook of doom! Rarw!" She strutted, nearly losing her ice cream.

"I'm flattered that you would go through so much trouble for my sake Lina but I really don't want you fighting on my account." He said sadly.

"Well somebody has to! I don't see how you can take all the awful things people say about you when you're innocent!"

"In my lifetime I've been called just about everything you can imagine. It doesn't bother me all that much anymore. Sometimes people lash out without thinking; I try not to take it personally."

"But that's just the name calling part. Why haven't you tried to clear your name? I don't see how people get off on blaming ridiculous stuff like the fifth moon on you. Do they even stop to listen how absurd they sound!" She said, becoming more worked up by the second.

"Lina…" He said. He was becoming uncomfortable with where the conversation was heading, although part of him knew it was inevitable.

"Well common Eri…I mean Vash. It's not like you actually did those things. Why take it?" She asked him. He hoisted the bags higher and looked away. "You didn't…did you?" She asked quietly.

"It's very complicated Lina. It's…It's true that all the destruction was done by my hand…Not that I did it intentionally. No. I fought so hard to stop what was happening but couldn't. That's why I don't plead my innocence, because even though I didn't mean it…I still did it." He sighed and looked down at her. She wasn't looking at him anymore, focus straight ahead. He continued. "And you, just like everyone else on this planet, are probably wondering how. How could something like that even be possible?"

"Something like that." She said softly.

"I…really want to tell you the whole truth, but I'm afraid you won't believe me. I know if I were you I wouldn't believe me. And I don't want you to be afraid of me either." He told her desperately. Nice one you've gotten yourself into this time Vash, he thought. You should have stopped the conversation before it got here genius. Now she's hurt and afraid. If you don't tell her she'll be angry with you. If you do tell her she'll either freak out or call you a liar. Well Lina, the reason I'm capable of such destruction is because I'm not a human I'm a plant, a living power source, oh and by the way…I'm older than grandma. Yeah. That'll go over well, he thought sourly.

"You're such an idiot…I've already told you, you couldn't even scare a kitten." She said, halfheartedly pushing him. "I remember the day I found you in that ally…I've never seen someone so horribly sad. And tired. I remember when I asked you what your name was and you said that it didn't matter. I took you home, took care of you, named you. I guess you were a stray and you became my pet." She laughed. "I guess…the reason why I'm always picking on you and keeping you busy is that I'm trying to distract you."

"Distract me?"

"Yes. You know…never leave you alone long enough to think about what you had been hiding from in that alley. And I never asked you anything for the same reason. I was afraid that if I did, that that same look you had in your eyes would come back. And I see a little of it now. If it makes you upset to tell me than I don't want to know. You can tell me when you're ready. And if you're never ready then that's just fine with me. Just…smile for me again, ok?" She asked, turning to look up at him with tears shining in her eyes.

"Oh Lina…" He said setting down the bags and hugging her. "Please don't cry for me. I hate it when people do that. It makes me feel like an awful person."

"Stupid!" She said hitting him upside his head. "I'm not crying because you're mean, I'm crying because I love you. You're so dense sometimes."

"Ow." He said rubbing the sore spot. "Is that what's called 'tough love'?"

"Darn straight! Now before we get all weepy lets talk about something happy. Got it?"

"Ma'am!" He said saluting her. "…Like what?"

"Well…Ok. For one thing. I've decided that your brother is not such a jerk after all. Just weird." Vash laughed hard. "He's got a few kinks to work out…" This earned her a look from Vash. "Ok, so he's the Gordian knot…But I guess I can get used to him."

"I'm really glad to hear that. I gotta tell him about the knot thing, he'll get a kick out of it. Although sometimes he really tempts me to use Alexander's method."

"That's awful!"

"Ahhahaa but its true! And I've noticed that you've had my fiancé to yourself most of the morning. So whatcha think Lina? Does she pass?"

"Hmmm…" Lina paused, mulling it over. "I suppooose she'll do…but that's just my preliminary judgment. I plan on putting her through interrogation phases three and four later on. And you be sure to let her know I've got my eye on her…"

"So in other words you like her." He said picking up the bags and they continued on home.

"If I have to I guess. So…when are you gonna make me an aunt?"

"Lina!"

-L&P-

The place was the definition of the little homey towns that people would often refer back to nostalgically. People were friendly, they all knew one another. Children played with one another outside of the school house until the irate teacher scolded them for skipping their lessons. The worn little church had stained glass windows that lit up in a blaze of color in the sun. It was small. It was peaceful. It was boring.

Knives stood in the shadows in an alleyway, trying to escape the sun and attention of the people. It was already late in the afternoon, but he had no intention of returning until evening or until he was hunted out and made to come back. If he had to stay in that house one minute longer he was going to go insane. But, he soon began to realize, roaming outside wasn't much better. But at least it was quiet.

Asides from returning his jacket, that girl Lina had left him alone for most of the morning and Knives had begun to hope that the peace would last. But soon she was back to her annoying, yabbering, bullying self. Oh she knew better than to hit him as she did Vash, but that didn't stop the verbal annoyances. The incessant questions…That and everybody would not shut up about his brother proposing. To keep himself from throttling someone he had announced that he was going for a walk and left without another word.

"And now here I am. Witness to the dull and utterly uninteresting activities of everyday human life. How absolutely captivating." Knives muttered to himself. He had tried to browse around in the shops earlier. But it seemed that everywhere he went, the people would stop what they were doing and stare at him. Once they realized that he was not his brother the scrutiny didn't stop, it just changed. They would continuously cast glances his way when they thought that he wasn't looking and would whisper amongst themselves. At first he tried to ignore it. But soon it began to fray on his nerves too badly and he disappeared into the shelter of the shadows.

No, he thought with self-loathing, he fled. He had felt too vulnerable and surrounded. He wasn't even armed. Vash still didn't trust him enough to give him back his gun. Knives doubted that he ever would. So until then he had to rely on his own strength or the others for his safety. And his pride simply would not allow him to run back to the others just because he felt nervous alone. He could just hear them laugh, he thought with a snarl. Not malicious laughter, but barely restrained amused pity filled laugher. Like a parent would try not to laugh at their child that is frightened of their own shadow.

A sudden clatter behind him caused Knives to whirl around, ready to fight to the death. What he saw was a little black cat that had jumped on the closed trash can that had been sitting behind him.

"Nyaa?"

"What?" Knives asked it. "And what would you do if I suddenly jumped out behind you?" The cat just purred. Annoyed with its relaxed attitude around him, Knives picked it up by its nape. The cat mindlessly stared off into space as he inspected it. "Get out of here you little deformed thing." He said setting it down and it trotted away.

"You, uh…make it a habit to talk to cats?" A rough unshaven man asked, stepping into the alleyway flanked by three others. Knives turned to face them, furious at himself for being distracted by the feline.

"What I do is none of your business." Knives snapped at the man.

"In this town it is."

"Hey. Wait." One of the others said. "That's not him."

"If you're referring to my brother, he's not here. Now leave me alone." A sound at the other end of the ally caught his attention. Three more men stepped in. Cornering him.

"Well we did hear the talk around town that he was back again. He's your brother you say?"

"Yes. Now that we've established this…Back…Off…"

"Nah, I don't think we can do that. You see…we came looking for him to deliver an ultimatum. But instead we find you. This presents us with the opportunity of making the message personal without putting ourselves in danger."

"You don't know how wrong you are." Knives growled. He spared a quick look behind himself. They were getting closer. "Are you planning on killing me? If so we could do without the theatrics."

"Nah. We ain't gonna kill ya. Just offer a sample of what's to come if he's not out of town by noon tomorrow." The leader said. The four in front started towards him, emboldened by the fact that Knives was not their original and feared target. He backed up, acutely aware of the three behind him. And of the fact that they were all armed with guns and blades. The alley was far too narrow to dodge anything properly, and the fact that he was being threatened before and behind guaranteed that he could not steal a gun and eliminate them all before being gunned down.

With all the free space taken up, they all stopped, waiting for the other to make the first move. Knives looked from one group of men to the other. He should have just put up with the household, Knives thought, then one of the men lunged forward. Instantly the man went down with a horribly broken nose. Two more tried to grab him from behind. He threw one off but the others came at him. Knives kicked one away hard and the man hit his head against the bricks and didn't get back up.

Knives had the undisputed advantage of speed but they held onto him, held him back, tripped him up. He gripped the arm of one man that had a hold on him and twisted it savagely, snapping it in several places. The man screamed and retreated away.

After taking and dishing out several hard blows, Knives saw an opening to run. Kicking another off of him he tried to make a break for it but was stopped before he could take two steps by a vicious strangle hold. Desperate to break free, he reached back behind him and grabbed the handle of the man's knife and plunged it deep into his attacker's thigh. The man shrieked and fell over, pulling Knives down with him. Before he could get up the remaining men had hold of him and held on like they knew their lives depended on it.

"Let me go you damn monsters! I swear I'll slaughter every last one of you!" Knives raged as he struggled in vain to escape.

"Shut up you bastard!" The leader said striking him hard across the face then in the stomach, forcing the men that held him to hold him up. "We were going to go easy on you but now you've made it _personal_!" The man emphasized his point with another blow. Unable to get enough air to speak, Knives silently glared up at the man.

The man squatted down to eye level with him. Knives spat at the man, who in turn absently wiped it away. "That's a nice jacket you have there. I hate to see good craftsmanship ruined…get it off him." He ordered. They struggled hard to get it off of him, Knives was nearly breaking free from them. That is until something struck him hard on the back of the head, causing every to fade slightly.

"I hope you burn in hell you disgusting beast." Knives faintly said, trying to focus.

"You guys got a hold of him? Tight? Alright then." The leader walked behind him where Knives couldn't see him. There was the sound of a blade being drawn. "Like I said earlier, I want you…" He said cutting away Knives'es shirt. "To tell him…out by noon…Or else there will be more of this." He said, pressing the blade to skin.

-L&P-

"Dammit Vash, if your so worried why don't you just go look for him?" Wolfwood asked, his patience waning as he watched him fidget and pace.

"Because I don't want him to feel as if I'm hounding his every step. He needs a little time alone too you know."

"But he should have been back by now." Meryl said. "Grandma Sheryl told him when dinner was going to be."

"I think that might be my fault." Lina said timidly. "I was really pestering him today."

"Lina…"

"No, not like that Vash. Not annoy pester, question pester. I was just curious."

"I'm sorry dear, but you brother seems to be a very troubled young man. Perhaps this small house is too cramped up for him. Do you think he would have gone looking for another place to stay?"

"No. he wouldn't. I'm surprised that he even left today without me. I don't want to freak out again and start looking for him everywhere, but at the same time I'm worried that he might have broken our deal and made a run for it. If I don't look for him someone could seriously get hurt. But on the other hand how can I get him to trust me if I don't trust him?" Vash said, ceasing his pacing.

"I don't know what we…" Everyone froze at the sound heavy footsteps on the front porch.

"Thank goodness. It's about time." He said leaving the kitchen and going to the front door, others in tow. "Where have you been? He asked, pulling open the door. The attack was completely unexpected and the blow sent him reeling back into Wolfwood.

"What the hell?" Wolfwood shouted, helping him up. The figure stepped out of the shadows of the twilight. There was an outcry of shock from the others watching as the poor figure stepped inside and wearily stood before them.

"Knives! What happened to you!" Vash cried horrified, rushing to him. Knives lashed out and caught him by the collar.

"This is all you fault, now give me back my damn gun!" He raged, shaking his brother weakly. "Give it back…"

Vash was shocked beyond words. He had been beaten, badly. There were blood stains running all down the back of his pants and blood was beginning to seep through the material of his jacket in the back. Knives had tried to threaten him but now ended up holding onto him for support.

"W-who did this to you Knives? What happened?" He quietly asked him, voice quavering.

"You left me defenseless against those things…It's your fault!" He cried pushing Vash away hard, nearly falling over himself.

"You need to calm down…" Millie said stepping forward. "You're hurt. You need to let us take care of you."

"Don't you touch me…" Knives warned, retreating back like an injured and cornered animal.

"Were not going to hurt you…" She tried again stepping closer. Everyone held their breath but he didn't lash out. "Your poor face." She said reaching out and touching him gently. He flinched away. "Where did all this blood come from? Where are you hurt? Is it your back?" She said, beginning to slowly pull the fabric off. It was too much for him to take. He violently pushed her away and retreated back towards the stairs.

"Its ok Knives...please calm down." Vash said stepping between his brother and everyone else, shielding him. "It doesn't have to be here. We can go up stairs, just you and me, and I'll take a look at you. And you can tell me what happened. Ok?" Knives, visibly shaking, said nothing but turned and ascended the stairs. Vash followed after him.

Everyone else stood there in dumb shock. Wolfwood gently helped Millie up from where she had fallen. She held onto him and cried into his shoulder.

"Grandma? Do you have any trouble makers in this town? Gangs? Thieves?" He asked the old woman.

"Why…um uh…well we used to but things are quiet now. At least…I thought they were…" Muffled shouting rung out from above. They all winced at the sound of it.

"Oh my gosh…he was covered in blood…" Lina said, holding onto her grandmother. "I know he's not the most agreeable person but why?" More raised voices drifted down from above. And heavy thuds. Fighting.

"Oh Knives…" Meryl said sadly after several minuets of listening to the raging argument upstairs. "You were doing so well. You'll hate us all now…"

Suddenly there was silence in the second story. They all tensely waited in silence for something to happen. The bedroom door closed and they heard someone coming. Soon they saw Vash descending the stairs, in the process of strapping on both holsters. He simultaneously pulled out both guns, checked the ammunition, re-holstered them, and marched out the door. Without his coat. Without a look back. Without a word...

"Aww shit…This is gonna get ugly." Wolfwood said grabbing his cross. "You guys stay here." He said. Ignoring the barrage of protests he ran out the door. Vash had already made it quite a ways. Wolfwood rushed to catch up with him.

"Don't follow me Wolfwood." Vash called out to him without looking back.

"Someone has to watch your back!' He called back to him.

"Watch the girls. Knives is not stable right now." He said striding onward. Wolfwood came to a stop, torn between the two decisions. He doubted that Knives was in any condition to cause trouble…but then again that just might have been an excuse, he realized.

"May the lord have mercy on their souls." He muttered sadly, returning to the house.

-L&P-

"Do you think he'll actually leave Mitch?" Asked a man with his arm in a sling. He motioned the barkeep over for another drink and looked to the gruff man sitting across from him.

"I'd say so. You saw the number we did on that poor bastard. You'd have to be pretty dense not to get the hint." Mitch said, throwing back another shot.

"Personally I think we went too far." Another of the men at the table said staring out the window. "He was always such a pushover when he was staying here. And he saved us from those bandits. Going to this extreme was a bit unnecessary."

"Are you dense or something? Of course he acted that way. It was all a ruse. A disguise."

"And besides, if you felt so strongly about it you should have said something while we were holding that guy down. Not in here when you're half drunk."

"All I'm sayin' is that what we done was a bit extreme. We should have given a warning then if he stuck around _then_ do something. What if what we did just pisses him off?"

"I thought he was a pushover Adam. Changing your tune already?"

"When did you get to be such a wimp?"

"Whatever guys. I'm leaving." Adam said, standing up. The other guys sent him off with a volley of insults and taunts. He flashed them a rude gesture and walked out the door.

"Why dib you evbn bing him awong Mitch? 'e's such a girl." One of the other men at the table asked, the one with the severely broken nose.

"Shut up. You know we needed the numbers." Mitch growled, something wasn't sitting right with him. He just couldn't seem to relax. Maybe more alcohol would help…

He jumped slightly as the doors to the bar flew open. And there in the doorway he stood, the subject of their conversation, scanning over the room with almost a predatory glare. Drawn by the guilty and frightened expressions of the men sitting at the table, the gaze of the outlaw settled directly on them.

"Shit Mitch! Adam was right. Let's get out of here." The man with the broken arm fiercely whispered. He got up and made a move to run for it, but a bullet embedding itself in the wall a hair away from his head effectively sat him back down. The other patrons of the bar wisely made a quiet and hasty exit. Mitch tried to play it cool as the man marched right up to them.

"_You_…" Vash said with barely contained fury.

"I take it that our message was delivered." Mitch calmly asked, pushing his drink back and looking up at him. The others cowered.

"Why…Why didn't you just come to _me_…"

"To our defense, we thought it was you at first." He said standing to face the furious blond man.

"To your defense! _Defense_! That's your excuse for torturing my brother? HUH!"

Mitch knew that the blow was coming so he was ready when he swung. But he was far too slow to block it, much less dodge. As he fell back against the table his four companions made a break for it. Four consecutive gunshots, two from each gun, rendered the cowards screaming and bloody on the ground before they could run two steps.

Much to his surprise, Mitch managed to stay calm and quiet amidst the pain and terror of his friends. But how he truly felt was betrayed by his hands, which were shaking so badly he couldn't have held his gun even if he had been able to draw it. He was picked up off the table by his collar as if he weighed nothing and felt the cold metal of a gun barrel pressed right underneath his chin.

"Do you have anymore excuses that you would like me to hear or are you finished?" He was coldly asked.

"No no! Don't! We never meant to take it that far. I'm sorry, Sorry! Please don't shoot me!" Mitch desperately begged, his legs suddenly seemed to be unable to support his weight.

"Do you have _any_…_IDEA_…what you have done?"

"No I don't. I don't! I'm sorry! Please don't kill me!" He begged, feely crying.

"No…You don't know. What have I ever done to you Mitch? Huh? I've even saved your life. Twice! And then you do this. You should have just left him alone and gone to _Me_ Dammit! You have no idea what you've done to him!" Vash raged, pressing the gun against Mitch harder.

One of the men in the floor, taking advantage of the distraction, quickly drew his gun and took aim. It was shot out of his hand before he could even touch the trigger. Free of the gun aimed at his head, Mitch acted quickly; he knew he was dead if he didn't.

Instead of wasting the time to draw his own weapon, he knew he was far too slow for that, he lunged forward and grabbed the gunman by the wrists so he couldn't take aim. They struggled and fought for a moment, but Mitch knew he couldn't last.

"Quick! Will somebody just shoot him!" He screamed.

A shot rang out throughout the bar. Slowly he dropped to the floor, bleeding and fighting against the cries of pain that threatened to tear out of him. Mitch looked up from his injured leg to the man standing above him, confused. How did he shoot? The hidden gun retracted back into its housings in his forearm. Vash knelt down to face the terrified man.

"You all should consider yourselves lucky that I'm the one who came here tonight. Had it been my brother, like he wanted, you all would have been dead…I'm not going to kill you but I will leave you with a piece of advice." He leaned in closer. "The next time you even _think_ about doing something that horrible and heartless to someone…_Don't_…Understand?" Mitch nodded fiercely. Vash looked around to the others. In one big rush they began to offer up their apologies and promises of never again.

Far from satisfied, but unable to do more without regretting it forever, Vash stood up and left. As soon as the doors closed, Mitch promptly fainted.

-L&P-

Knives listened as Vash stormed down the stairs and out the front door. He knew where he was going and what he was going to do but it wasn't enough. He knew that he wasn't going to kill them, not like they deserved. Knives had blamed him for leaving him without defense and he took the abuse. Knives had pulled away his jacket revealing his torn flesh and had lashed out at him in his pain. And he had taken that as well. What he had refused was to let him go kill the offenders, and that had only escalated the Knives'es anger.

After Vash wouldn't let Knives go carry out the deed he had gone to seek retribution himself. Knives stood staring at the closed door for a moment longer, trembling, then went and slowly laid down face first on the bed. The rational side of himself said that Vash had been right. If he had went looking for a fight in this condition he would have surely lost his life. But the emotional side of him raged. It demanded vengeance for his suffering and shame. And it also warned him to leave. Run, before he was hurt again.

There was a knock at his door so gentle it was barely audible. He buried his face in the pillow, wishing them away. The door slowly opened and a timid young voice spoke up. Lina.

"Knives?...Are you ok?" She softly asked. He tried to ignore her. "Please tell me you're all right…" She begged him, stepping inside. "I mean…I know you're not. Everyone down stairs is so worried about you but they're afraid. They want to help but they don't want to embarrass you or make you feel threatened. But I want to know if you're alright and I figured that since I'm a kid, you know, how threatening can I be? And I may be a little rotten but I won't make fun of you. I couldn't think of anything less funny. Just please say something Knives…you're scaring me…"

"What do you want me to say Lina?" Knives wearily said, refusing to look at her. "I was just tortured for the sake of delivering a message. How am I supposed to react?"

"…Can I see? Please? I won't touch you, I promise…"

"Do whatever you want with me. I don't care..." He said miserably. He heard her come up quietly to the bed. There was a sharp inhalation as she got a good look at his back. He could still feel the blade running through his skin. The cuts were shallow, meant to be painful and bloody rather than damaging. They crisscrossed and overlapped one another. To keep from drawing anybody's attention they had gagged him. And when they were done they had let go and wordlessly left him lying there in the alley. He gripped the sheets, furious at his helplessness.

"Does it hurt too bad? These really do need stitches…" She said sadly.

"No. I don't want anyone to touch me."

"Please? It'll take them longer to heal if they're left like this. I don't know who the bastards are that did this but we're not them. It's ok." Lina said reaching out and lightly brushing his hair. He tensed but was more composed than when he had lashed out at Millie down stairs. She continued to gently run her fingers through his hair. Slowly, he began to relax. The pain, weariness, and the young girl's gentle touch came together and began to make him sleepy.

"What are you doing?" He quietly asked her a few minuets later.

"I always used to do this to your brother whenever he had nightmares. And he had a lot of them at first. It always seemed to relax him."

"Hmmm."

"Is it…ok now…to get you fixed up? I know it will hurt…but it'll be worse in the long run if you don't. And it will scar worse."

"It doesn't matter. There will always be some other human to come along to give me more. It's always been that way."

"Knives? Why do you talk so strangely about people? You're a person too. Why do you keep referring to everybody as human?" Lina asked him, still brushing his hair. She pulled her hand away as he painfully turned around to face her.

"How old do I look to you Lina?" He asked her.

"I uhh, late twenties?" She guessed, sitting down on the edge of the bed. "Why? What does that have to do with anything?"

"I'm not in my twenties…I'm far far older."

"You can't be that much older. I just can't see you being past forty. It would be impossible."

"It's impossible for humans. But not for me and my brother. You're probably not old enough to understand the true horrors of human nature, but I have seen my share. That's why what they have done to me is not really all that shocking. It only proves that I'm right after all…"

"Lina! What are you doing in here?" Wolfwood demanded, appearing in the doorway.

"Its ok…I was just talking to him." She told him, and then turned back to Knives. "You never answered me. Will you please let us help you?"

"…For now." He said, then turned back into his pillow.

-L&P-

The gunshot rang out in the early morning silence. The sheriff fired into the air once more for emphasis then leveled his rifle at the house. The score of nervous men around him fidgeted nervously.

"Come on out! We know you're in there! Don't try anything. We've got the place surrounded! We just wanna talk! So come out!" The sheriff called loudly. The house was still and silent for a moment. Then the door opened just a sliver.

"Talk?" A man's calm voice called out to them. "They're certainly are a lot of you that want to talk."

"Don't play games with me man! Come out here now!" He called out nervously. "Do Not. Fire." He sternly told the men with him. The door of the house opened fully and a familiar figure stepped out and approached them hands held in the air. Different hair, different clothes, but familiar none the less.

"John? Is that you?" Vash called out to the sheriff, stopping halfway between the house and the group of men. "I never really expected you to fill in the position of sheriff."

"Well somebody had to fill the spot since poor Brandon was murdered. It's not as if people were hopping to take up the badge."

"Well good for you. I had a feeling that you would get out of that store someday. Although I wish it had been under better circumstances."

"Enough small talk Ericks, I want the truth from you. Is that really your name or are you honestly the Humanoid Typhoon?" There was a moment of silence.

"…I am."

"What the hell happened last night? You put five men in the hospital." John called out to him. "They said that you just marched out of the blue and attacked them. Personally I pride myself on being a good judge of character. Now I don't know why or how the hell it is you got your reputation, but I know what kind of man you are. And that just doesn't sound like you."

"What the hell are you doing John?" One of the men next to him demanded harshly. "You _do_ know who you're talking to right?"

"Yes I do. He's the man that saved this town now shut it."

"Out of the blue, sheriff? I suppose that they conveniently left out the part where they attacked my brother without provocation? I just finished stitching him up an hour ago." John was slightly taken aback by this. Mummers broke out amongst the group. Vash continued. "But I'm sure that the incident at the bar is not what brought all of you out here this morning. Care to fill me in?"

"You're right, its not. Your showing up here has put me in quiet a position you know? You lived with us for all that time and you've never once proved to be a threat to us. Hell, you've even saved us. But the problem is, that as sheriff, I can't under good conscience let you stay here. Not under my watch. While you personally may do us no harm, those that come huntin you will. And I can't let that happen." Vash remained silent. "I personally believe that one good turn deserves another. Because you saved us…I'm gonna let you go free." There was an immediate outcry from the men accompanying him. He held his hand up silencing them "_But_…You have to leave. Immediately."

"Thank you John for your kindness. But if I may…Can you please allow us a few more days? Like I said, my brother's injured. Traveling through the desert on foot would be too much for him right now."

"No. But we will provide you with a vehicle. Fair?"

"Fair."

"We will bring it at noon. You have until then to prepare." John said, then turned on his heel and walked away. Some of the men weren't too pleased with this. Some, in fact, were tempted to gun the outlaw down on the spot. But fear, timidness, and their own conscience overcame them. And one by one they left, leaving Vash standing out in the sun alone. Finally, he lowered his hands.

"Vash! Vash!" Lina cried running out to him. He turned to meet her and she tackled him in a hard hug. "No! You can't be leaving! You just came back! Please don't go!" She begged him, burying her face in his chest and crying hard. "You can't leave me again…"

"Oh Lina…I don't have a choice…"

"Then take me with you! I won't cause trouble. I promise!"

"It's far too dangerous…I'm sorry." He said getting down on his knees so he could hug her more easily.

"I'll be safe with all of you. I even know how to use a gun. It'll be ok…"

"No Lina…"

"Please!" She said gripping him tighter. "I don't want to stay here with these cold and heartless people anymore. I want to be with you. All of you…"

"Lina…Please be patient for me. Things are too dangerous right now. But one day, I promise, I will find a safe place to settle down. Somewhere where only you all will know my name. When I find that place I want you and grandma to come live with me. And then we can have a whole family. But I can't right now. Please understand." He quietly begged her.

"It hurt so bad when you were gone. I don't want to go through that again. I love you."

"I love you too. It's only going to be for a little while. I promise."

"How do I know? How do I know I'll see you again?"

"There's a lotta reasons we'll see each other again. Who's gonna threaten your first boyfriend if not me? Give you away when you get married? And don't forget all the duties you'll have as an aunt…teaching the proper technique of sneaking dissert before dinner, telling scary stories, or passing down your patented left hook." She tried to laugh through the tears. "I'll come back because…even the most wayward strays know their way home…"

-L&P-

"Are you sure you dears have enough? Who knows when you'll find a decent town again…maybe we can fit more food into the trunk…" Sheryl fretted, wringing her hands.

"Anymore Grandma and the car will be dragging the ground." Lina said, noting how low it sunk already with four occupants already inside of it. They didn't have many belongings amongst themselves so most of the time waiting for the car had been for farewells.

Wolfwood and Millie had thanked them for all their hospitality and kindness. And once again, Wolfwood had been charged with taking good care of the adopted member of their family. Wolfwood assured them that he would…someone had to after all. Knives was strangely polite, although distant. He spoke little and seemed to be far away in thought without actually thinking anything. After a second of hesitation, Meryl had taken the old woman in a tight hug, thanking her for everything. Before she could say anything to Lina, the young girl surprised her with a noogie and a threat to keep her surrogate brother safe. Naturally, Meryl had returned the noogie, and promised that she would keep him in one piece. Now as everyone was loading up into the car all was left was for the last passenger to say his goodbye.

"I don't know what to say you two…I finally get to come back and have to leave after only two days. I'm really going to miss you." He said, shifting uncomfortably from one foot to the other. "And I brought so much trouble with me…"

"Nonsense dear. And besides, things are too peaceful without you spicing things up." Sheryl said. "I'm going to miss you too." She said, giving him one last hug.

"I want to thank you again Grandma. For, you know, letting me have…"

"Your welcome. And don't you dare tie the knot without me! I have to be there, do you understand me? I'll break out the broom on you if you do."

"Ok, ok…" He laughed. Vash then turned to the uncharacteristically quiet girl. "I'm really going to miss you Lina."

"I'm going to miss you too…" She said, avoiding his gaze.

"Is something wrong?"

"It's…Well…I have something to ask you, but if you don't want to tell me its ok, I understand…I already said that I wouldn't pressure you but Knives said…um…Never mind" She said looking away.

"It's ok. You can ask." He said kindly. Lina looked hesitantly at her grandmother, who took the hint and retreated away, giving them privacy.

"Are you sure it's alright?" She asked.

"Yes. I promise." He assured her. She hesitated a moment then pulled him down to whisper in his ear.

"How…how old are you?" She asked then backed off slightly, nervously chewing on her lip. He smiled and leaned forward to whisper in her ear.

"I'm a hundred and thirty three years old…" He whispered then backed off, smiling slightly at the shocked expression on her face. "Next time we meet…I'll tell you it all. But until then…shh. Ok?"

"Ok…" She faintly said, then with one last hug goodbye, he was gone.

**A/N:** Sorry for being a day late in posting (once again, computer trouble). Just so no one starts going on about the age thing (although _some_ reviews would be nice) I took 0131 from the quick draw sign-in sheet, added two years, and taa-daa! 133. Seriously people, let me know how im doing. I know you're out there, this story is nearing 1000 hits, but only a handful of reviews. Let me know you're out there!


	13. Unforgivable

**Chapter Thirteen:**

**Unforgivable**

"One last set to go Knives, then we'll be done." Vash told him. Knives sat with his back to him in the small hotel room. Finally the wounds had healed enough for the stitches to be removed. It was well past sundown and everyone had already gone to bed. Vash had been going to bed as well but when he had gone to tell Knives goodnight he had caught him trying to remove the stitches himself. To keep Knives from hurting himself, Vash had stuck around to do the task.

"It doesn't matter to me. I'm in no hurry." Knives said flatly, staring out the window like he had the whole time his brother had been tending to him.

"I know if I were you I would be!" Vash tried to joke. "The itching from these must have been unbearable. No wonder you wanted them out."

"I'm fine."

"…No. You're not fine." Vash told him with a sigh, unable to fight discussing it any longer. "In fact Knives you're far from fine."

"And what is wrong with me?" He asked quietly.

"You haven't said a word on what happened since that night. I expected you to be angry…outraged or something…and you would have every right to be. But you act like it never happened, although I can see its hurting you. Everyone can see it."

"You want me to throw a fit?"

"No. Just don't try to keep it to yourself. We're here to help, you know? And I don't mean show you pity either."

"I see nothing wrong with my actions. I allowed you all to help me that night when I was bleeding, but now I'm fine. I see no point in dwelling upon it, or making a scene. Does everyone expect me to act like a traumatized child? Nobody expects this of you, and you are far worse off than I am." Knives said, never looking away from the window.

"Yes. But Knives…I've had to live with this sort of thing my entire life. I know how to handle it. But you are just starting to live among people and to start it all off something like this had to happen. We're just worried about how you are doing. And I'm not just talking about these either." Vash said tracing over one of the numerous scars after removing the last stitch from his back.

"Like I said, I am fine. It is somewhat insulting that you all think me so weak. And that I cannot recover quickly from something like this. But if it will put everyone at ease I can just as easily go on a rampage, attack every human I come across."

"That's not funny Knives." Vash said. Knives turned to face him.

"Then what is it? You are apparently not happy with what I am doing. My restraint. If it will make you feel better then tell me what to do and I'll do it. That is the deal, is it not?"

"You don't understand what I'm saying Knives." Vash said hanging his head. "I'm not unhappy with what you're doing. It's the opposite actually. I know you really don't care for this sort of thing, but I'm really proud of you. You are doing far better than I would have ever thought possible. And I want to thank you for it. But about what happened…I'm just really concerned for you. And very sad. And it's because I _know_ how it feels is what is bothering me the most. The fact that you had to go through it too is killing me…"

"It's not as bad as you might think." Knives said, pulling on his shirt again. "Naturally you would be shocked and horrified by something like this. I, on the other hand, expected nothing less. Yes…I was shaken Vash, but I'm not broken. It'll take a lot more than that. So please quit worrying, it's getting annoying."

"Are you sure? You don't need to talk about it or anything?"

"You know I absolutely loathe that touchy feely junk. Now go on. I'm tired." Knives said with an air of finality, stretching out on the bed. Vash sighed, getting up. He pushed the chair back in its little spot under the desk then turned to leave. At the doorway he paused a moment.

"You know…it's not a sign of weakness to ask for help. If you need me, you'll know where to find me." He said, then left Knives be.

They had spent the last few weeks out on the road without incident. Things had been peaceful. Too peaceful. There was no arguing amongst themselves. No bickering. While the quietness was somewhat of a relief in comparison to their usual snipping back and forth, it was not natural. It felt forced. And the source of the uneasy peace was the man he had just left.

After his actions at the bar (something he felt both guilty for and not, if that was even possible) he was surprised to come back and find Grandma and Meryl cleaning Knives up. And even more surprised that he was actually letting them. While he was doing his best to patch Knives up, not one word had been said between them. And from then on Knives had refused to speak unless spoken to. His little outbursts and bouts of sarcasm had stopped completely. In fact, whenever he did communicate it was polite, dignified, and quiet spoken. And frankly it was freaking everybody out, Vash included.

For someone who had threatened murder for anyone who even _looked_ at him wrong, he was far too relaxed about the incident. When he got back Vash expected to have to go through major damage control, possibly even restrain him again, but never did he expect this. And he wasn't fooled by it either. None of them were. Only Knives himself knew the reason for this change in behavior, in the mean time everyone else was on edge around him. That's why it was so peaceful, that's why it was so quiet. Everyone was waiting. But the question was…for what?

His poor brother, Vash thought as he walked down the hall. He couldn't help him if Knives wouldn't open up to him, and he needed help. As he was walking, pondering ways to break through the wall Knives had put up, he had the life scared out of him when the door he walked by suddenly opened. Wolfwood jumped too, not expecting to see someone lurking outside of his door. They both looked a little sheepish for a moment then Wolfwood spoke.

"Hey uh…can I talk to you for a sec?"

"Sure Wolfwood, what's up?"

"Not here. Outside." Wolfwood said, closing the door behind him. Vash followed Wolfwood outside where they stood under the inns squeaky old sign.

"Alright. You've got me curious…what's going on?" Vash asked shivering slightly in the chilly air. Once he had found out what being cold felt like, he discovered that he utterly despised it and tried to avoid it at all costs.

"Actually I was going to ask you the same thing."

"Huh?"

"Your brother man. What's going on with him? The way he's acting is so…un-Knivesish. Something's not right."

"No, its not."

"Then common, spit it out. Surly he's confided in you. Tell." Wolfwood said, poking him in the arm.

"He's not told me much Wolfwood other than he's fine and whishes everyone would quit worrying about him. That's all he's said, seriously."

"And you believe this?"  
"No I don't. But we do need to relax some around him. Us being worked up is probably only making him more afraid."

"Millions Knives afraid? You're kidding me, right?" He practically laughed.

"He tries to hide behind a mask of hate and aloofness, but Knives is very afraid of people. That, above everything else, is his problem."

"I knew that he was sociopathic but not sociophobic. What's he afraid were gonna do? Eat him?"

"You know as well as I what evils people can do to one another. It's a lesson that Knives and I learned at a very young age. And this incident has only engraved that lesson further into his mind."

"What happened? I mean… if you don't want to tell me you don't have to." Wolfwood asked him, almost regretting the words as soon as they were out of his mouth. Vash didn't answer him at first. He sighed and leaned back against the building. A black cat jumped up in the open window he was standing beside. Vash petted the cat absently and began to speak.

"We were just children back then. Roughly the equivalent of a ten year old. We were accepted by the members of the crew. All except for one man. He feared and hated us. He would always seem to know when we were alone."

"Vash...don't…"

"He just beat us Wolfwood, that's all. He would go after Knives more because he would fight back. Me, I would just cry."

"Sorry. I didn't know."

"Well, you know how Knives takes things to extremes. Just because there was one bad apple the whole bushel became tainted in his eyes. He became so afraid of being preyed upon that he became the predator. And the rest is history."

They fell into a long heavy silence after that. Wolfwood was stunned by this revelation. Despite his efforts otherwise, he couldn't help but see Knives as some alien thing rather than a person. And this view was only encouraged by Knives for insisting the same thing himself. But this made things personal. He slowly began to see how truly alike they were. Marred childhoods setting them on the road to become killers. It was unsettling to learn of this connection.

Would he have gone to the same extremes if he had possessed the same power that Knives did, Wolfwood wondered sadly. He had managed to do his fair share of damage, convincing himself it was for the best. Wolfwood understood him now…he honestly did. And like the ass he was he had probably only had been making it worse with his threats and constant slights. He had only been proving Knives right…He felt truly ashamed of himself.

"Wolfwood?" Vash asked, shaking him out of his thoughts.

"Huh?"

"Is everything alright?"

"Oh…yeah. I'm fine. Just lost in thought." Wolfwood tried to wave the subject off.

"Do you need anything else? I'm freezin to death out here..." Vash said hopping from one foot to the other.

"Go on back inside you wimp. We're gonna be hitting town tomorrow; everyone needs to be in top shape."

"Thank you!" Vash cried out and rushed back on inside, leaving Wolfwood behind to laugh at him.

-L&P-

It was a relief to be free of the stitches, Knives thought as he stretched out on the bed without the pulling sensation in his back. He lay there a while longer until he was sure that Vash had got the hint to leave him alone then sat back up. He couldn't sleep easy here. Out in the desert, yes, but not here. There were too many people around. And never again would he allow one to hurt him.

The three in his company were the only ones he would allow near him, but that was because he had no choice in the matter. But for any other one…he had this, Knives thought pulling out a small caliber gun he kept hidden. It had been hell trying to obtain the gun without anyone noticing, but he did it.

He reached behind him and felt the scars marring the once perfect skin of his back. What had been done was unforgivable. Yes, he acted calm and reserved around the others, but it was in stark contrast to how he wanted to act. He was calm because he had to be, he had to survive. The more he appeared to be one of them, the less likely he would be a target. It was sort of a social camouflage. That and it was highly effective in keeping the others off of his case. He would need to ease up soon though, they were getting suspicious.

Although he hated to give credit to a human, Knives really did owe that child a great debt. She may very well have saved his life. That night when she had done her best to sooth away his misery she had opened his eyes. He had realized with no small shock that he been growing attached. In a distant sort of way he had been growing fond of them. Her, the women, hell…even the priest. They each had worked their way under his skin and had taken hold of him. Such a realization frightened him.

But now, thanks to her, his way was clear now. Things had been getting too complicated. All the ideals, morals, and scenarios had caused the black and white nature of the world to fade into varying shades of grey. But now things were back to what they always had been: life or death. To fall or to survive. And surviving was something he did well. This newfound clarity was in part the source of his sudden serenity. He now knew his way. He didn't need them any longer.

A soft knock on his door caused him to bring his gun up. "Who is it?" He called out, to access whether they were a threat or not and to get an idea at which height to aim…

"It's just me Knives." Meryl called out to him. Sighing in irritation, he stashed the gun away under his pillow and strode over to the door.

"What do you need?" He asked, opening the door.

"I didn't mean to bother you. I'm just looking for Vash."

"He stuck around to help me with something, but he should have been back by now."

"Oh…Well he's probably out talking to Wolfwood or looking for a donut or something. I'm sorry to have bothered you."

"Don't worry about it." He said and began to close the door.

"Knives?" She asked, stopping him.

"Yes?"

"I'm glad you're feeling better. And goodnight."

"Goodnight." She left and he went and sat back down on the bed. He pulled out the gun once more, keeping his silent vigil.

-L&P-

"Ladies and gentlemen, we are now entering the lovely little town of Bastion Ridge. If you will look to your right you will see some of the fine local attractions such as the saloon and the bakery where I see little rings of heaven sitting in the window. And if you look out to you left you will see the mountain ridge for which the area was named. In addition to having three plants, this wonderful town owes its prosperity to the mineral rich mines and subterranean water supply. The last time I had visited was back in ninety three, and I must say things have only gotten better with age. The exits of the vehicle can be found, well, everywhere because this car doesn't have a top on it. Have a pleasant stay and thank you once again for choosing typhoon transportation services."

"And how long did it take you to think all that up?" Wolfwood asked him dourly, hoisting his gun out of the back of the car.

"I've been working on it since about fifty isles back." Vash said sheepishly.

"Well I thought it sounded really professional." Millie said clapping. "Have you had a job doing that before?"

"I usually stick to being a bodyguard but I've done just about every odd job known to man. Except for maybe dog walking."

"Yeah, only the aristocrats can afford dogs, and I just can't see you kicking it with the bigwigs Vash."

"I don't go for all that fancy stuff. Plain and simple suits me just fine." Vash said pulling his bag out as well. "Why don't we go get some lunch somewhere and we can discuss our battle plan."

They found a little place to eat further on in the town. They ordered a cheap lunch of sandwiches (not salmon) and proceeded to get down to business.

"Are you guys sure we can actually pull this off?" Wolfwood asked them, finishing his drink. "You know what kind of luck we've had with this sort of thing in the past. I'll bet you anything that it's going to wind up a disaster."

"We always have to hope for the best Nic! Good things will come to those that believe." Millie said trying to get everyone's spirits up. "And besides, the five of us together are unstoppable! What do you think Knives?"

"I suppose so." Knives said tiredly, not wanting anything to do with what they were planning.

"I'm just saying that whenever we try to do something like this we always end up with more trouble than we bargain for."

"Well we really don't have much of a choice about this one. A sand storm is scheduled for later tonight. We have to be sure that we can stay here safely. Our hand is forced."

"Be brave solders! Alright lieutenant…what's the course of action? How are we going to pull this mission off?" Vash asked Meryl in mock seriousness.

"Ok…Millie and I will take the south part of town. Nicholas, you come in from the west. And you and Knives will come down from the north. We'll start from the edges and work our way towards the center. If you find anything report back here. We all will meet back at the car at seven. Remember people, this is our last chance…if we fail we'll have to sell the car just so we won't have to die out in the storm. And you all remember how things went last time without a car. Now let's go out and earn some money!"

"Go team!" Millie cheered.

-L&P-

"Ok Knives…where do you think we should start first?" Vash asked him as they slowly walked the streets of the busy community.

"I don't know."

"Well, what are you good at other than the sciencey stuff? They don't need an engineer; the plants are doing just fine. Besides, they wouldn't let you within fifty yars of the control room without the proper credentials."

"It's not yars, it's yards. What caused the degradation of this language is beyond me." Knives brooded.

"I know but hey, what can you do? I've gotten used to it."

"I think it's annoying." Knives said, rubbing at his temples. He was exhausted and really didn't want to do this. In fact, he would be happier if they did have to go sleep out in the desert. There were plenty of ways to survive a sand storm. It was just the effort and inconvenience that they wanted to avoid.

"Ok, ok…But anything else? Maybe we could use your playing skills Mr. Musician."

"If you need me to." He said flatly. Vash frowned to himself. Usually such a suggestion would warrant a burst of temper and a resounding 'hell no' from Knives, not an agreement. This funk he was in had lasted long enough, Vash thought with a flare of determination. He was going to cheer him up even if it killed him.

"Hey Knives…" He said tapping him on his shoulder. Knives looked over to see Vash making a face at him. Slightly puzzled, he looked away. Ok, that was a no go, Vash thought, time to take it up a notch.

"Why did the thomas cross the road?"

"What thomas?"

"Not a real one, it's supposed to be a joke. Go on…guess."

"I don't care." Shot down again. The only times he had ever heard Knives laugh (well, recently anyway) was out of some sort of meanness, and it was usually at his expense. Alrighty, it was time to bring out the big guns.

"Did I ever tell you about the time I accidently caught my clothes on fire and had to strip down before I got burnt? They never would let me back in that church again. Although I did earn fifty double dollars from this one nun."

"No. And I really don't care to hear it." Knives said tiredly. "Let's just get this done." Vash huffed irritably. Ok, so he wasn't the best comedian out there. But not even a smirk? He was really in this mood deep. He didn't want to do it…it would only bring woe upon him…but he was going to get Knives to express _some_ kind emotion, even if it was at his expense. And he was going to go for the emotion he was sure to evoke…anger.

"Eeheheheee…" Vash snickered evilly.

"_What_ are you doing?" Knives said staring at the finger hovering just an inch away from his shoulder.

"I'm not touching you…"

"I can see that. Now stop."

"Stop what? I'm not doing anything. Heehehe." Knives gave him an unreadable look then proceeded to ignore him. After a minuet or so Vash had to admit defeat with that tactic. Time to get a little forceful. Nonchalantly he reached out and pushed him. Knives stumbled a little bit, gave him a look then resumed walking. Vash reached out and pushed him again, a little harder this time. Knives did his best to ignore him and kept on walking. Vash reached out a third time but before he could push him Knives snatched his hand and twisted Vash'es arm up behind his back.

"Uncle! Unnnnncle!" He wailed out. Seeing the attention his brother was drawing, Knives quickly released him and acted if nothing had happened. Vash looked at him sourly, rubbing his arm. He was so sure that would work, but look, not even a scowl. He silently offered up a last farewell for all those that he loved and lunged at Knives, grabbing him in a headlock.

"_Noogie_!" Was his battle cry as he ground his knuckles in hard.

"The hell are you doing? Get off of me!" Knives cried out, struggling to throw him off.

"Mad yet?" Vash asked, refusing to let up.

"_No_. I'm wondering if you're on drugs though."

"I really didn't want to have to do this Knives but you left me no choice." Vash announced ominously. He then wet his finger in his mouth and stuck in Knives'es ear. "Wet Willie!"

"_God_! That's disgusting!" Knives cried out. "STOP IT!"

"Never! Aahahaaa…oof!" Several people in the small crowd winced in sympathy as they watched the man in red go down hard after being elbowed unmercifully in a place that guaranteed his surrender. "Knives…Why…"

"If you're finished with your lapse in sanity I suggest we keep moving." Knives said coldly, and walked away. He kept his pace slow until Vash could catch up with him, he didn't want to get too separated.

"That was just mean…" Vash pouted once he had caught up with Knives.

"Care to explain to me what all that was back there? Have you finally lost it?"

"Well…believe it or not I was doing it for you." Vash said uncomfortably.

"The hell Vash? What do you mean by that?"

"I'm just trying to get you snap out of it. Even if it meant ticking you off."

"I'm fine."

"Will you please talk to meeee? You say your fine but I don't think so. And even if you are will just talk to me about it? Humor me? Mercy? Just anything but the way you've been acting. You can get mad at me. Free license to punch…now who else is gonna give you an offer like that?"

"You're a pest. I just want to get today over with as quickly and as quietly as possible. And you'll have to forgive me if I have no desire to get all emotional in front of everyone. I am fine the way I am."

"So you're saying that you're going to keep acting detached and lifeless no matter what?"

"I am _not_ lifeless. I just want to be left alone."

"Is that a yes or a no?"

"_What_ do you _want_ from me?" Knives asked, patience waning.

"To act normal again. To stop acting like a marionette and start showing some emotion for once. Even if it is anger."

"No. I will not cause a scene."

"I'm not saying cause a scene. Just anything." Knives stopped and flashed him a fake smile.

"There. Happy?" He asked, reverting back to his blank look.

"No. In fact that was kinda creepy."

"Well get over it. That's as much as you're getting."

"…Is that your final answer?" Vash warned.

"…Why?" Knives asked suspiciously.

"Because. If you're not going to cooperate with me I'm going to have to bring out the secret weapon. I've tried to make you laugh. I tried to make you angry. But I have one last thing to try…embarrass you."

"You wouldn't dare…" Knives threatened.

"It's up to you Knives…" Vash told him. Knives looked at him searchingly for a few moments then walked away.

"Leave me alone." He said as he left.

"Ok…you asked for it…" Vash said under his breath, then he began to shout loudly over the crowd. "I can't believe you would just walk away like that! Ma's practically on her deathbed. I search high and low to find you for her and you tell me that you don't care?" Knives turned around to glare at him, mortified. People began to stop and listen as Vash continued. "Look, nobody blames you for the jail time you know. You were just taking Pa's passing hard, we understand. But we need you to come home now! Mary Sue told me that she doesn't _care_ anymore that she caught you with the mayor's daughter, she just wants you to come back to her and little Christy!" Vash had to admit that he had never seen that shade of red on Knives'es face before. He looked like he was absolutely ready to kill him. By then they had quite a group of people drawn to the commotion, all of them were whispering and pointedly giving Knives dirty looks. The man in question marched up to him and grabbed him by the collar.

"What the _hell_ do you think your doing?" He whispered fiercely. "Stop it!"

"Ready to talk to me now?" Vash whispered back.

"No! Just stop it!" Knives snapped desperately, giving him a hard shake then walking away. Or trying to anyway. Vash had dropped to his knees and latched a hold of Knives'es leg, working up the fake tears.

"Don't Go! Please don't go! You don't know how hard it's been back home without you!" He wailed.

"Stop it! Let go!" Knives demanded, pulling to get free. Suddenly the attention of the growing crowd had become a very small matter.

"Nooo! Don't leave meee!" Vash cried to the heavens, holding on to his ankle for all he was worth. It was then that he felt it…That unmistakable shape tucked inside of his brother's boot. Suddenly the situation wasn't so funny anymore.

Knives took advantage of Vash'es distraction and pulled his leg free. Enraged, he stormed off. He didn't know where he was going, but he sure as hell wasn't going to stay here. A few moments later Vash caught up with him, not saying a word. He knew, Knives realized. What was going to happen now?

They walked together down the streets away from the scene that they had caused. They were both tense and the silence spoke volumes. The first thing Vash wondered was how he got it. How could he have found a gun in the first place? That and how long had he been hiding it from them? He wasn't sure when but he could fairly accurately guess it was after the incident.

The next thing he wondered was should he take it away from him? The thought of Knives with a gun just screamed danger. But, he relented a moment later, he hasn't harmed anyone yet. That and he was perfectly justified in wanting a weapon after what had happened. It was only fair that he be able to defend himself. He would _almost_ accept Knives being armed if it weren't for two things that left him feeling unsettled. One…was that he hid it from them. The necessity for him to sneak one was understandable, but it didn't sit well with Vash. And the other thing…was his behavior recently. Vash was far more trusting of the irritable, sarcastic, threatening Knives rather than this cold and seemingly emotionless one. It just felt wrong. He stopped walking. Knives continued on for a few more steps the stopped as well. Slowly, he turned to face him.

"Well?" Knives asked after a long stretch of silence.

"What are you planning on doing Knives?"

"Surviving." He said simply. The world around them rolled on by. People carried on with their conversations, making their way through the town, all the while oblivious to the silent standoff right in the midst of them. Given the location of his gun, there would be no way that Knives could draw before Vash did. They both knew this. They also knew that Vash would not shoot to kill, therefore allowing Knives the opportunity to fire anyway. People as well as time passed them by.

"What's going to happen? Have you turned against me this time?" Knives asked him.

"No. But if you force me I will defend myself. And the others. I didn't start this Knives but I will end it if I have to. It's your move."

"No its not. Not really. It's theirs. Always has been."

"It doesn't have to be this way Knives."

"No, but it is. Despite what everyone thinks of me, all I want is peace as well. To live without pain or fear. I may not be as obnoxious or as outspoken about it as you but I never lost the desire for paradise."

"But Knives, then why…"

"Because I know it's not possible, no matter how much we want it. Like you said before, the only way to get true peace is to be the only living thing."

"And so you're still going to try and kill them all?"

"It would be impossible. It's no longer in my power to do so. The only thing I have now is my life, which I intend on keeping at all costs, even if it means depriving others of theirs."

"…That's not true Knives…" Vash said quietly. Knives turned his head slightly in confusion. "That all you have is your life. You have us. I would give my life to save yours and I'm sure that they would do the same." Knives frowned at him but said nothing.

A small commotion had been growing elsewhere during the time of the standoff. It had been faint at first but soon grew to a crescendo as more and more people learned what was happening. They ran by the motionless brothers. Shouts of 'bank robbery' and 'hostage' were distinguishable amidst the worried chatter of the growing crowd. Vash slowly turned from his brother and began to follow the flow of people.

"Are you willing to die for them Vash?" Knives called to him as he was slowly left behind.

"Yes."

"Why? Why for me? Why put everything you have at risk for those who will only turn on you!"

"Because although I'm not human I still have humanity. And you've seen for yourself that humanity is as rare as water in this desert. That's why I'll hold to that humanity even at the cost of my own life. Defending only myself may protect my survival…but what would really be the point in living then?" Vash called back to him, then was gone. After a long moment of standing in the empty street, Knives followed.

-L&P-

"Aww maaan…for all the times for the fricken sheriff to be outta town to visit his dying cousin…I'm only a _deputy_ for Pete's sake! Just go for it my buddy says…Enjoy the perks of authority without having to do any of the hard stuff he says…Now I'm gonna diee_eee_!" The scared mans last word rose up to a rather feminine scream as an unexpected hand rested upon his shoulder.

"Whoa…chill…" The newcomer in red said, joining his position crouched behind a car.

"Are you _trying_ to give me a heart attack! Geesh. And what are you doing here anyway? No civilians allowed."

"Sorry for scaring you. I thought you looked like you could use a hand. What's the situation?"

"I uhh…three of them, with fully automated weapons…um…one teller taken as hostage and they're wanting to negotiate transportation means in exchange for her."

"You have much experience in negotiating?"

"Well…no…n-not really…"

"Do you mind if I? I've done stuff like this a few times before."

"I don't know…" The deputy said uncertainly. He had no problem in sending the stranger in his stead. But what if the man only angered them? Or was one of them?

"Just watch my back, ok? I'll be out in a jiffy." The stranger said without waiting for approval. He stood slowly, hands in the air, then left for the building.

"Better you than me." The deputy muttered.

Just as Vash reached the doorway the was the sound of a hammer being pulled back from the gloom within. "Stop right there…" A harsh voice commanded. "What do you think your doing?"

"I was sent to negotiate the release of the hostage in exchange for a vehicle." Vash said, keeping his voice calm and level. The last thing he wanted was to anger them.

"And you came to do so armed?" A second voice asked him. Vash glanced down at the guns at his sides.

"Oops! I guess I forgot about those. Old habits die hard you know?"

"Yeah…I know…Keep you hands in the air and if you _move_ I will _kill_ you…" The first man said. He was suddenly pulled from the sun into the dim building. He made sure to stay still and to keep his hands up while his two guns were removed and he was searched for any more. As his eyes adjusted he could see the man who checked him to his left, one aiming at him straight ahead, and one by the vault guarding over the trembling hostage. She was an elderly little old lady who looked as if she were only two days from retirement. His heart went out to the poor thing.

"Now you were here to negotiate?" The man ahead of him asked.

"Yes. A vehicle in exchange for her freedom."

"Ha! You take us for fools? Ya'll would just gun us down the moment she was out of our hands. Nah, a vehicle in exchange for her _life_. Got it?"

"Let me go please!" The old woman begged. The man guarding her threatened to strike her and she quickly fell back into silent tears.

"Just tell that brat outside playing cop that we'll set her loose once we're a ways out into the desert. We don't want an old bag for baggage."

"That won't do." Vash said to their surprise.

"Excuse me? Last time I checked I was the one with the gun pal, not you!"

"Just think about it. It would be awfully hard for a woman her age to walk through the desert back to town. Not to mention that there is a storm coming. The law will be after you regardless, but they'll be really ticked if they hear you left a little old lady out in the desert to die. You guys look like you're making quite a haul, so why make things more difficult for yourselves?" The man paused, thinking the situation over.

"Well then smart guy, what do you suggest? But were not leaving here without some kind of insurance."

"Well…how about you let her go and take me instead?"

"Are you insane? You're actually volunteering for hostage duty?" The man by the vault demanded. The old woman looked up at him, a glimmer of hope lighting in her eyes.

"Yes."

"Why?" The leader asked suspiciously.

"It's wrong to have compassion on someone else? I just want her to be safe, that's all." The three robbers looked at him a moment, then one another.

-L&P-

Wolfwood had been on the verge of conning his way into a job at a convenience store when a man burst inside and loudly announced that there a hold up going on at the bank and ran back out. Without giving Wolfwood a second look the owner and the other patrons ran out to catch the action themselves. Cursing his rotten luck, Wolfwood set out and followed them.

By the time he arrived there was already quite a crowd gathered a respectable distance from the bank. Scanning out across the crowd, he saw a familiar tall figure next to an equally familiar short one.

"Hey girls!" He called out to them, wading through people. "What's going on?"

"We just got here as well. But from what I can tell is that a group robbed the bank and they're in there now with a hostage." Meryl told him, keeping an eye out for the brothers.

"This is so awful! Do you think that there is anything we can do Nic?" Millie asked, taking his hand.

"I don't see where we can do all that much. Not since they have a hostage anyway." He told her. "Hey, have you seen Knives or Vash? I figured Mr. Nosey would be in the middle of all this."

"No. I don't see them anywhere, but then again I can't see much of anything."

"Tough luck short stuff. But I don't see them either. Let's get closer for a better look." The three of them migrated up near the front of the crowd, forcing their way past the curious people with the same intentions. Before they could look more for their missing two, a sudden outcry from several people caught their attention. Up ahead something was happening.

An elderly woman came stumbling out of the bank. She half ran half hobbled her way over to the deputy and several others. For several minuets all they could get out of her were hysterics. After plenty of soothing and a drink of water, she had managed to calm down enough to tell them what was going on.

"I was back in the vault going about my business when these two lads just burst on in and start waving their guns around everywhere. Well everyone goes to run, and I run too but then they stopped me. They let everyone else go but me! Oh it was awful! Then they start gathering the money then a third shows up! He tells the others that their getaway plan has been shot because the rest of the gang isn't coming because of the storm. I guess these poor fools didn't get the memo that the robbery was supposed to be tomorrow!" She laughed shakily for a long moment. "Anyways, they were real mad and started demanding negations for a car, then that dear young man with strange hair came in." Wolfwood and the girls exchanged looks. "He came in and tried to talk them into letting me go for a car but they wouldn't. Then he talked them into trading me for him. And…and t-they let me go! They let me go and I'm supposed to tell you to get them a car and have this area cleared out by sundown or else they're gonna kill him!" She cried out. Meryl broke away from the crowd and marched up to the cluster behind the car, Wolfwood and Millie on her heals

"This man your talking about…was he in red?" She asked, ignoring the deputy's protest of her being here.

"Yes…he was. A long red coat."

"Are you sure it was just him? There wasn't also a tall man in a grey jacket around was there?"

"No dear, just him."

"Oh great…" Wolfwood muttered. "Now we gotta worry about finding Knives too. This day just keeps getting better and…" He was cut off by three very quick gunshots within the bank. "…Better." He finished, more optimistically. Not just anyone could shoot that quickly, much less some idiotic robbers who can't keep track of what day it was. Maybe the people of the town would reward them and they wouldn't have to job hunt anymore. All thoughts of freebies were stopped when a horrified cry rang out within.

Immediately they, as well as the deputy and his company, ran towards the bank and burst on inside. What they found was similar to a scene from a nightmare. Standing near the back hall was Knives, and he had a gun. The three would-be robbers lie crumpled up on the ground, a bullet hole through each of their heads. And standing right in front of one of the lifeless forms was Vash, horrified and partially covered in gore.

-L&P-

As they released the old woman he slipped into the familiar role of the helpless unthreatening hostage. Once he was satisfied that she was truly out of harms way he began looking for an opening to take them down. But surprisingly enough for being the bunglers that they were they were exceptionally wary of him and didn't let him out of their sight for a moment. It must have been the way he had entered the scene, without hesitation, that had them worked up. So now he waited, standing in the middle of the room a little ways in from the doorway, shielding them from would-be snipers.

"For your sake you had better hope that that old bag hurries it up. If we don't leave within the hour we're not gonna make it to the next town before the sand storm hits. And you know what that means don't you?" The man beside him with the gun to his head asked.

"Uhh…that you'll let me go?" Vash asked, trying to play ignorant.

"Funny." The man said humorlessly.

"Look guys…" The man clearing out the vault started. "I think that they're deliberately taking their time. Think about it…if they stall long enough then we're stuck here. That'll make it easier for them to get the drop on us especially since there will be nowhere to run. I'll bet you anything that their waiting for the storm to start so they can smoke us out of here. What do you say we cut our losses and run? Grab what we can carry and sneak out the back? There'll always be other banks you know." He said tossing out the last bag, wiping his forehead.

"Now how do you suppose that we do that moron?" The leader asked, peering out the cracked window. "They'll be onto us before we get twenty yars."

"Common…there focus is up here. And there too afraid to make a move because we have a hostage."

"And…" The leader asked impatiently.

"If they think we're still here they'll just sit and wait for a demand." The man said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Ok, Vash consented; maybe they weren't so stupid after all…

"I like the way you think man! Put him here by the window so they can see him while we make a break for it."

"Don't I have any say about this?" Vash timidly asked, uncomfortable with the direction of the conversation.

"Sorry pal…you wanted to play the hero, now you get to play martyr." His guard said taking aim.

"Wait stupid!" The leader shouted. "Don't shoot him! They'll hear!" He growled drawing a knife. "I swear I get stuck with all the idiots…"

"You do realize that I'm not going to just stand here and let you kill me. And since shooting me is out of the question it's going to come down to a fight." Vash stated, tensing up as the man approached.

"Three against one pal…I'm not worried." The man laughed, then charged at him. Vash rushed out to meet him. There was the sound of gunfire then everything went red. At first he thought he was hit, that the man guarding him had lost control and shot him. Then he saw the leader crumple to a heap at his feet, with a hole where his forehead should be.

He stared at the dead man in shock for a few moments. He looked around to see that the other two were dead as well. Shaking violently, he reached up and touched the side of his face where he had felt something run down it. Once he saw what he had on his hand he couldn't fight against the horror of it anymore.

Soon after a crew of people rushed in, but soon froze in their tracks. Knives tucked the gun away and quickly ran over to him.

"Are you ok?" He asked, checking Vash over. "Is any of this yours? I was a little held up in getting here."

"What have you done?" Vash asked him. The question was barely audible.

"What? What do you mean what have I done? I just saved your life." Knives spat, deeply offended. The one time he had taken his brothers words to heart and put his own life on the line to save him and he gets this?

"You killed them! How could you!" Vash shouted, pushing Knives away from himself.

"If I hadn't done anything that could have been you lying there!"

"I had everything under control! I wasn't going to let him kill me!"

"It sure as hell looked that way!"

"It wasn't!"

"Oh yeah! And what were you going to do? Talk them down? When they were coming at you with a knife? I'm sure that would have gone over well! I wasn't about to let them sacrifice you for their avarice."

"Dammit Knives! You had no right to kill them!"

"And they had no right to kill you! We're even!" The group watched in rising tension as the argument escalated and threatened to become violent. They each wanted to do something to stop what was happening but they where helpless in their wake. All they could do was wait and watch.

"We had a deal! You promised me!"

"Some promise! I save your life and this is the thanks I get?"

"Give me the gun now Knives! I knew I should have taken it from you the moment I found out about it. Dammit I trusted you!"

"Not you or anyone else is going to take this gun away from me. You got that?"

"Why so you can kill us all in our sleep? I thought you were better than this Knives!"

"You bastard I did this for you! I could have watched and let them kill you! Or hell, I could have killed you myself and blamed it on them! Did you stop to think about that! Sorry but I don't by into that pacifist bullshit, I'm a realist and the reality is I just saved the life of my brother and now he is condemning me for it! And you say I'm blind…" Knives growled and stepped back. He turned and looked at their audience "Well! Are you all going to curse me too? Come On! I'm used to it! I make the best choice I see at the time and this is what I get? And there is any question about why I am the way I am?" He challenged them, taking a few steps towards them. Wolfwood automatically tensed for a fight but felt stunned and lost by what was happening.

"Ok people…lets just take a deep breath here…" The timid deputy stepped in before things got even uglier. "Obviously this has been a very trying experience and we all need to calm down some. I would like to personally thank you for resolving the situation sir." He said, moving towards Knives.

"Don't you come near me." He viciously warned, drawing the gun and aiming before the man could even blink.

"Uhh…"

"Don't you dare do it Knives." Vash flatly told him, taking aim at his brother once more. "Let him go."

"Make him leave."

"Hey! I'm the law here! Who are you to order me around?" The foolish young man demanded.

"I'm the one who is about to put a bullet between your eyes if you don't back away from me this instant." Knives told him coldly.

Wolfwood couldn't help but be transported back to the time he had killed that child. Oddly enough, it was Knives that he sympathized with this time. He had had to make the very same decision and knew how it felt. But the things were getting too heated to be stopped by mere conversation. He decided that this was going too far and to stop it now. He marched up to the deputy, ignoring the fact that the moment he had moved Knives turned the gun towards him, grabbed the young man by the collar and forcibly threw him out of the door. The others with him retreated away before the same could be done to them. Slowly Knives lowered the gun and tucked it back into his belt.

"Now we're going to have to make a run for it Knives." Vash snapped, forcefully turning his brother around to face him. "Now the town's going to be after us because they think that we're one of them."

"Its better that we leave anyway." Knives coldly told him and walked towards the back way. Vash was not about to let it go at this, but a hand resting on his shoulder halted him.

"Not here. Not now." Wolfwood quietly told him. Everyone quietly awaited his decision. Feeling the weight of their combined stairs, and knowing that they needed to get out before the townspeople could move in on them, he reluctantly nodded. Satisfied, Knives turned and lead the way out.

"This isn't over Knives…" Vash told him. "Once we're safely out of town…"

"I know." He said ominously.

-L&P-

It was a tense and extremely nerve-racking exit they made from the city. They had no problems snatching a car and making their escape, it was the omnipresent tension that had its hooks in every one of them. Not one word was said, and they avoided making excessive or sudden movement. The unspoken question hanging over them was who was going to snap first? Vash or Knives?

Meryl quietly watched as they sped along the desert, the mountain ridge at their right. She sat in the seat behind Knives. Millie sat between her and Wolfwood and was holding on to each of their arms for all she was worth. Vash sat silently behind the wheel. From where she sat, she could see the dried blood and matter covering the side of his face, in his hair…The very sight of it made her ill. But the thought of actually being covered in it…Suddenly she felt sick. She quickly pulled her arm away from Millie and hung her head out over the car door, praying for the nausea to pass.

"Meryl? Are you alright?" Millie quietly asked, rubbing her back. Meryl just waved her hand in replay, unable to speak as another wave hit her. She felt the car slow down and come to a stop. Before it had even quit moving she had hopped out and walked out a few steps to gain the illusion of privacy. Someone joined her side and held her up but she didn't look to see who it was. She was afraid to.

"Look. As much as I hate to increase the woe upon myself, I'll be the one to say it…Tell her to get over it. We really need to get moving. The winds picking up and we need to find shelter fast." Knives said callously from his seat. As much as she wanted to swear at him for his heartlessness, she had to admit that he had a point. The wind was whipping fiercely about them already and was increasing in strength by the second.

"Are you alright now?" Vash quietly asked her. She nodded, not looking up. "Common…we have to go…" He said leading her back to the car. She got in and he climbed back into the driver's seat. "At this rate we'll never make it to town. We can either head back or we can try to take shelter in one of the mines." He told them.

"Head for the mines." Wolfwood told him, struggling slightly to be heard over the wind. "They'll just gun us down or jail us if we go back." Vash nodded in silent agreement. He pulled the car off the road and made for the mountains.

The closer they got to the sheltering mountains the rougher the winds grew. The sound of it soon rose to a surrounding roar. Soon sand was being kicked up and blown everywhere. They did the best they could to protect themselves from it, but somehow the grains found their way in their clothes, their hair, their eyes. If they stayed out in this for much longer they would suffocate to death. Abruptly the car began to sputter and soon died altogether.

"What happened!" Millie called out over the wind.

"Sand flooded the engine! We'll have to walk from here! Its only a little ways ahead, we can make it!" Vash called out to them. They all climbed out, only the lightest of luggage was saved, and as one began working their way towards the mountains which were just ahead. Although this was easier said than done.

The intensifying sandstorm in addition to the setting sun quickly reduced visibility down to nothing. Not that they could keep their eyes open for a reasonable amount of time anyway. They knew the general direction of the mountain and pushed for it, trying hard not to stray. And they all clung to one another to keep from being separated. But as it turns out, both tasks proved to be impossible.

Powerful gusts of wind and roughness of the increasingly rocky terrain kept tripping them up, and forcing them to release one another. It was almost as if nature itself wanted to separate them so they would die lost and alone. And this was what Meryl thought was going to become of her. She had gotten separated from the others, and for all she knew she had gotten turned around and was now heading the wrong way. She tried calling out to everyone but she couldn't even hear her own voice above the wind. It was only out of pure luck did her questing hands come across someone. She held onto their sleeve for all she was worth and trailed closely behind. A few short minutes that actually felt like an eternity later, the wind around them stopped and the sand and earth underfoot turned into stone. They had made it to a mine.

They sat there in the darkness for some time, coughing hoarsely trying desperately to clear their lungs of the sand. Once she was sure that she wasn't going to suffocate to death, Meryl began to shake the sand out of her hair and cleaned it out of her ears and her eyes. The shuffling sounds from her company told her that they were doing the exact same thing. She crawled, still coughing, towards the sound of her company. She came into contact with something moving.

"Are you ok? Who is this? Is it you Vash?"

"I'm not Vash." Knives'es voice rang out in the darkness, chilling her. "I doubt that you're thrilled to be trapped in with a monster. But spare me the hysterics please."

"I wasn't going to." She said hurt. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine."

"…Thank you…I would have been killed out there if you hadn't led me here." She said softly. He didn't answer her. She tensed up slightly as she heard him move. Shuffling sounds told her that he was searching around for something. But what?

The sounds of him moving around stopped and suddenly a light flooded the small tunnel. She hissed at the sudden attack on her eyes. As her eyes adjusted she saw that he had found an old mining helmet with a light attached to the front. He gave her an unreadable look then wedged it between two stones, angling the light upwards. He moved and sat down on a rock leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees. He looked at her expectantly.

"Do you think the others are alright? Is there anyway we can go look for them?" She said, sitting down on a rock opposite of him.

"By all means, if you want to die go on ahead. But I'm not going to give up my life. No." He said coldly. He was right, she had to admit. To go out there without some form of protection would mean death. But still…she was uncomfortable being trapped here with him especially when he had just... And since she knew full and well he was armed. Not that he would even need a gun to kill her. She suddenly became acutely aware of exactly how small she was.

"How long do you think that the storm will last?" She asked him after several minuets of tense silence.

"How am I supposed to know?" He abruptly shouted at her. She flinched back. "It can be anywhere from an hour to several days. I don't know! And we shouldn't even be out here anyway!"

"I'm sorry…" She said quietly, trying not to look him in they eye.

"Sorry? And what did you do? It's _my_ fault that we're out here. _My_ fault that we had to run." He snapped. "It's _my_ fault that I saved his sorry ungrateful life! Oh _No_…he conveniently doesn't see that part. No. It's all _my_ fault because I took the necessary action and saved his life! He expects everyone to just lie down and die for the killers all in the name of peace but what the hell good will that do! But no…I'm not supposed to kill…I'm supposed to die! But I'm Not Dying For Them!" He roared, standing up. Truly terrified now, she pressed back as far as she could to the wall.

"Please calm down Knives…I know you saved him and I'm grateful that you did…I just wish it didn't have to end the way it did….I'm sorry…" She looked away as he came over and knelt down right in front of her.

"And what would you have done?" He quietly asked her.

"I don't know…"

"Yeah you do…I can see it. Go on, tell me…"

"I'd rather not…Besides…I wouldn't know unless I was in your shoes but I wasn't…"

"I said _Tell_ me!" He yelled grabbing her by the wrists.

"…I would have trusted him…" She whispered squeezing her eyes shut.

"And if he had died because of your inaction?"

"I…would have died too…" She said, gently trying to pull her hands back.

"So it ends up that I saved your life as well…"

"…yes you did…and I thank you Knives…"

"But he doesn't see that. He doesn't see the lives saved, only those that are lost! And now that the deals broken…he's going to try and lock me up again. Try. I will not be trapped and helpless again. Never." He growled, tightening his grip in his anger

"Please let me go…you're hurting me. I'm sure if you two talk you can work things out. I'm sorry about you getting hurt and I'm sorry for…"

"Stop apologizing!" He shouted, striking her across the face. Terrified, she picked herself up of the ground and tried to run, but he still had a hold of one of her hands.

"Let go! Let go of me!" She kicked and struggled, but he easily jerked her back towards himself.

"Why are you trying to run Meryl?" He sadistically asked, taking her by the throat once more. Her fear only fueling his rage. "I thought you cared about me. That you thank me. That's what you keep telling me. What's with the change of heart?"

"I didn't do anything to you! Please stop this!" She kicked at him desperately. "Why?"

"Because you're one of them. You say you care but look at you now. You would shoot me if you had a gun. You _all_ were on the verge of turning on me when all I had done was try to help! Emotional ties mean nothing in the face of death. I _knew_ you all were alike! How could I have ever let myself become blind to it! I was so _stupid_…"

"Knives please stop it! Please let me go!"

"If I let you go you'll only run outside where you'll suffocate to death. You're only here now because you thought I was my brother. He's just going to get you killed one day anyway. All for his ideals, so why run to him? Why not stay here with me?" He asked, shaking her. She was in too much of a panic to answer him. She kicked and clawed at him but he wouldn't release her. "You would actually choose death over staying in here with me? What's wrong with me? Why not love me?" He asked leaning closer. "We're twins after all…am I not just as good as my brother?...No answer? Maybe you just need some persuasion..." He said then closed his mouth over hers. She tried to push him away but he wouldn't relent.

"Stop it!" She screamed, once he backed off.

"See? I knew that would work." He said smugly.

"You're forcing this Knives…this isn't you, I know it isn't." She pleaded with him. "I know you're scared of people but…" With a squeeze, he cut her off. But this time he didn't let up.

"I'm scared? Do I look scared to you?" He coldly asked, all mean spirited humor gone. "Because it looks to me like you're the frightened one. As well you should be…I'm going to kill you. I am going to survive, and no one is going to stand in my way. If I continue to tag along with my brother it _will_ claim my life. But the loss of your life will claim his. Setting me free. I warned him about getting attached…But he never would listen to me." Knives said shaking his head.

Just before she blacked out he threw her away from himself where she hit the wall and crumpled to the ground. Meryl lie there, shaking and crying. She heard him pull his gun from where he had it tucked it away behind his belt. So this was how it was going to end…murdered by the very man that they had all tried so hard to help. And yet, for all his cruelty, she still could not bring herself to hate him. Despite what he said…she did deeply care for him.

She looked up to see the gun leveled at her and the cold stare of the man behind it. She figured that she would see the cliché life flashing before her eyes, or be offering up a silent farewell to the only man she had ever loved, but no…All she saw was Knives before her, and the only thing that came to mind was a soft and sorrowful 'why'. She closed her eyes, wondering if she would feel anything, and waited.

And waited.

Slowly she looked up at him, wondering why he hadn't pulled the trigger. He was still aiming at her…but he was shaking.

-L&P-

That look…that look she had just given him…he had seen it before. That single sorrowful terrified look that he had just seen in her eyes was not the first time he had encountered such a look. He had seen it many years ago…on himself.

It had been so long ago, back on the ship. He had still been young and innocently happy then. Knives never did find out what had set the man off that day, he could only speculate. Perhaps it had been a dispute with the other crew members, maybe a nightmare, he didn't know. What he did know was that Steve had waited until he was alone then attacked him for the first time. He had been aware that the older man did not like him but he never imagined that he could be capable of such cruelty. He had been young enough to be ignorant about what exactly cruelty was. But he learned that day.

Terrified and in pain, Knives had retreated as far away from the man as the layout of the room would allow. The man had been shouting something at him, some insult or obscenity, maliciously happy but ate away with fear at the same time. It was then that he had seen it. There was an offline monitor hanging up in the corner of the room. In the dark screen he had seen his reflection.

He had been so small back then. He had saw himself curled up and cowering. All he remembered thinking through the ordeal was 'why'. What had he done wrong? Why? It was that look that he had…she had now. He had been ruthlessly hurt and bullied by someone who was fearful of him. Just like she was now. He had been needlessly attacked by someone he had trusted. Just like she was. He had been subjected to the cruelties of someone stronger and had no hope of defending himself against. Just like she was.

He realized with dawning horror that he had become that very man.

He had become the same monster that had haunted his childhood and had set the course for his miserable life. The very thing he had tried to fight he had become. Every action, every so called victory, only further transformed him into some awful thing. It hadn't been about genetic superiority, or righteousness, it had been fear. Pure animalistic fear. He was like an animal lashing out at anything that came too close. Even those that only wanted to help. _Especially_ those that only wanted to help…

Oh God…what had he done?

"What _have_ I done?" He whispered to himself. How many lives had been lost on his account? Good lives. Lives that actually cared for others and were able to overcome their base instincts and do something more. How many had he killed? Had his actions spelled extinction for them all? Had he destroyed all hope for their future? And true to the nature of monsters he had been vicious to only the good. Collecting and breeding the most evil and wicked that he could find that he clamed to have hated but hunted those that didn't deserve it. Hurt those that didn't deserve it. Just like he hadn't deserved it. Or her...

Rem…His mother…The woman who raised him, cradled him, loved him…He had killed her. He had laughed when she had died. He laughed. Without her he would have been killed the day of his birth. She had saved them and had given everything to save everyone. But he had laughed. And there was nothing he could ever do to change it either. He could never make things right…

"Meryl?" Knives asked, gun falling from his shaking hand. He tried to reach out for her but she cringed away. "Please don't…" He begged, dropping down to his knees. Startled by the unexpected action, she jerked away farther. "I'm not going to…I didn't mean…" He faltered, rendered speechless by everything washing over him. The realization of the truth. What he was…what he had done… It was…awful. "I'm _sorry_!" He sobbed out, hiding his face in his hands. "Sorry, sorry, sorry…" he desperately cried out over and over again like some repentant mantra that could save his soul if he believed enough.

"…Knives?" She asked him softly. He only cried harder at the sound of concern in her voice. He had hurt her and she still cared for him. He didn't deserve such beautiful compassion. It was wasted on a thing like him.

"What have I _done_? I _killed_ her! I laughed!" He wailed out, dying on the inside. "What am I!"

"Knives…" She quietly said. He felt a pair of small hands snake around his neck and pull him to her shoulder. He gave into the action and wrapped his arms around her tightly. "Shhh…" She tried to sooth, petting his hair.

"I'm so _sorry_…I'm sorry…I d-didn't want t-to be him. I wanted…I was afraid…A coward…I'm a monster…"

"No. No your not…"

"I AM! I am…a demon. A thing that murdered his own mother. Why are you d-doing this? Hate me…you should h-hate me! Please hate me!" He cried out, holding her tighter. He was sure it was getting painful but couldn't control himself. He couldn't fight the growing hysterics brought on by the horror of his life. Of what he had done. He remembered every act of cruelty he had ever done or ordered and it tore at him. He could almost literarily feel his heart breaking. "Oh God it _huuurts_!" He cried out in one long wail.

"Shhh shhh….I've never been able to hate you Knives, and I'm not about to start now." She assured him, struggling to make herself heard over his tears.

"Just make it go _away_! I remember…I remember it all…"

"I'm so sorry Knives…I'm so sorry for you…Shhh…I know it hurts…"

"…please make it stop…"

"I want to help you. We all do. Let us help you. We all love you…I love you…We can work this out…"

"No." He said thickly, abruptly pushing her away. Confused, she tried to reach for him again, but he held her at arms length. "S-stay away. I don't deserve it. I don't d-deserve compassion. I don't d-deserve to l-live. I don't deserve love…"

"Please don't talk like that Knives. It'll be ok…" She urged, wanting to go to him. It broke his heart.

"It will n-never be ok. I can't…I…I'm sorry for h-hurting you…" He whispered, reaching out and touching her gently on the face where he had struck her. She tried to take his hand, but he pulled it away. "Tell Vash I'm sorry too…And that he was right. He had always been right…" Knives quietly said, and reached for the gun.

Realizing what he was about to do, she dove at him. He had just taken hold of the gun when she took hold of him, holding his arm down and trying to pull it out of his hand. He stood up and pulled back but she stubbornly clung to him. He tried to pry her off as gently as he could, but she used this to her advantage and refused to relinquish the weapon.

"Just let go…" He quietly begged.

"NO! I can't let you do it Knives! I _won't_ let you!" She fought and struggled with him, but couldn't pry the gun from his grip.

"Please…Could you live with yourself if it were you? My soul is torn beyond salvation…"

"There is no repentance in death! If you truly are sorry then live! Atone! Just please don't do this!" She screamed at him. He silently turned away, tears streaming down his face. She was losing the battle to save his life. He was slowly prying her away from himself; she just couldn't compete with his strength. He was going to get the gun and then he would be gone…and she would be helpless to save him. No…she couldn't let that happen. Desperate, she bit him.

The gun went off.

The both froze where they stood. Forgotten, the gun slipped away and fell to the floor with a clatter. They looked at one another for a long heartbreaking moment, both wanting to speak but neither finding the words to do so with. Knives slowly looked down to see the red spread quickly over the white material of her blouse. She let go of him but he held to her tighter, keeping her from falling to the floor.

He took her in his arms and gently lowered her to the floor, but he didn't let go. Wordlessly he cradled the bleeding woman in his lap, struggling to apologize. Too terrified to even cry, she looked up at him and clutched at his jacket. He tore his shirt off and pressed it to her stomach, wincing at the frail cry of pain. He could try to slow the bleeding but he was helpless to do more. Not with only his bare hands…not trapped alone in a storm… All he could do was comfort her. Knives did his best to sooth her, humming her a quiet song, even leaning down to kiss her on the forehead. She soon slipped into unconsciousness. Until then he had tried to be strong for her, but now he let the tortured cries escape him.

He had done it again…first Rem…and now this…

Not again…


	14. Acceptance

**A/N**: I would like to thank all those that have reviewed me lately. Its nice to know that this story is being enjoyed and those reviews give me the little boost i need whenever i start to feel discouraged with my writing. Thank you.

**Chapter Fourteen:  
Acceptance**

By the time that the storm had settled dawn was rising on the horizon. The battery in the old helmet had died out hours ago, leaving the entrance to the mine shaft shrouded in darkness. But now the rising of the sun had bathed the stone walls in golden light. Out of all the years he had lived through, that night was the single most longest night in his life.

The morning light didn't reach beyond the bend in the cavern that they had taken shelter in, but the light reflecting off the walls gave him enough light to see by. He still held her, only letting go once to remove his jacket and cover her with it. Somehow, she had lasted through the night, but he could tell that time was quickly running out. He just didn't know what to do…He didn't know whether to stay here with her or go out and hunt for the others. But he knew that telling everyone else what had happened may very well be the last thing he would ever do. But whatever their judgment may be, he solemnly resolved, he would accept it quietly. This mountain was littered with entrances, and they were probably searching through them now.

Slowly and gently, he set her down on the floor and painfully stood. Wearily rubbing his face, he stepped outside. The light from the sun was almost blinding after being enclosed in the darkness for so long. Before his eyes had time to adjust there was a shout and the sound of somebody running towards him.

"Where the hell have you been? Everybody's been freaking out thinking that you got caught in the storm or something." Wolfwood said, coming up to him. "Hey have you seen…" He trailed off mid sentence, a hard look coming over his face. "What happened?" He asked coldly. Puzzled by this abrupt change in behavior Knives followed his line of sight. His hands…They had dried blood all over them.

"It was an accident…" He said quietly, looking away. Wolfwood stared at him for a long moment as if he didn't understand. Before he could question Knives further, Millie and Vash had spotted them and were running up as well. Part of him wanted to turn and run…run away so he wouldn't have to face this confrontation. But he forced himself to stay put; it was long overdue that he take responsibility for his actions. But still he couldn't bring himself to look up at them.

"We've been looking everywhere for you!" Millie exclaimed, the relief evident in her voice. "I got stuck alone and I've been worried to death all night!"

"Knives…" Vash asked cautiously, noticing his strange behavior. "What's wrong?"

"It was an accident…I didn't mean it…" He quietly pleaded, still refusing to look at them. He tried to brush the dried blood off of his hands, the damming evidence of what he had done.

"What did you do?" Vash asked him, fear creeping into his voice. Knives cringed slightly at the question. Wordlessly, he pointed to the entrance of the cave. Vash ran on inside with Millie at his heels. Wolfwood remained where he stood, watching him. From inside he heard Millie give a horrified cry, he winced at the sound of it.

"What happened?" Wolfwood asked him again.

"I don't think you would believe me if I told you…"

"No. I don't think I would…" He said sternly. Millie ran back out in tears and latched onto Wolfwood.

"Oh _Nic_! You gotta come see if you can help! Please! See if you can do anything!" She cried out, pulling him towards the entrance of the cave. Wolfwood gave Knives one last look then followed her inside. With nothing left to do but await his probable execution, Knives sat down in the sand and hid his face in his hands.

After a few minuets had passed, he heard someone walk up and stop right in front of him. He didn't look to see who it was, he could fairly accurately guess, and they didn't speak. A moment later there was the sound of a gun being drawn.

"Give me a reason not to." Vash commanded, voice harsh with grief and rage.

"…I can't. You have every right to kill me and I won't try to fight you. But…if it means anything…I'm sorry…" Knives said softly, and waited.

"You…" Vash said a moment later, barely keeping control. "Why? Why did you do it? Am I not allowed to have anyone in my life other than you? Do you have to take _everyone_ away from me!"

"Is she…" Knives tentatively asked.

"No. But we're stuck out here. The car's buried. We'll never make it to town. I'm going to have to watch someone else die…" His voice broke.

"I…I didn't mean to…it was an accident…"

"_Don't_ Give Me _That_! I saw what you did to her. The bruises…There is no possible way that that was an accident…" Knives couldn't say anything to his defense, because it was true. He had meant to hurt her…but that was before…But it was too little too late.

"Are you going to kill me?" Knives asked after a moment of tense silence.

"…I hate you…I really do…I've tried my hardest with you, sacrificed so much, but it was all for nothing…I hate you and would gladly kill you right here and now…but I know she wouldn't want that. So I want you to leave and I _never_ want to see you again. _Ever_." Vash said with a cold finality and turned and walked away. Knives looked up to see him disappear inside the cave.

Wolfwood and Millie stood at the entrance, having watched the exchange. Millie gave him one last hurt look then went inside. Wolfwood stood, gun by his side, blocking the way from him. From the look he wore, Wolfwood didn't accept Vash'es decision but was ready to enforce the command that Knives stay away. In fact, he looked as if he hoped that Knives would challenge it.

Abandoned and broken, Knives turned and walked away. Away from the people that he had grown to care for so much and those he had hurt the worst. Once again he had gotten off with less than he deserved, and he hated himself for it. It was just one more thing to hate himself for…

Once he had found the road again he stopped and sat down hard in the sand. If only they had killed him earlier then they wouldn't be going through such grief now. He didn't know whether he wanted to laugh or cry at the irony of it all. They had put so much time and effort into trying to make him see and now that he did he had been run off. And he would never, ever, get the chance to tell them that he was sorry. He finally decided on what to do, and it wasn't to laugh.

-L&P-

They all sat in the darkness of the cave, not wanting anything to do with the bright sunlight. No, they wanted the darkness because soon never again would things seem bright. He heard Wolfwood and Millie sitting quietly somewhere behind him, but he didn't care. All his focus was on the small figure stretched out before him and the tiny hand held in his.

He couldn't get her to wake up. He wanted to talk with her one last time but she was far too tired. She was still alive, the soft breathing and faint pulse told him so, but she was so cold. He had covered her with his coat along with the grey jacket but it wasn't enough, and he knew how she hated being cold.

Silently he cried, and blamed himself for all of this. Everyone had told him otherwise but he had refused to listen to them. They had all said that his brother was too dangerous to be left living, but he wanted nothing to do with that thought. He had been too hung up on his ideals and hopes to give in to them. But he now saw that they were right. They always had been. He should have killed him. As soon as he saw what Knives had done he should have killed him. Yet he couldn't bring himself to. The way he had acted…he had truly seemed repentant…

No, Vash thought harshly, he had just been afraid. And the whole 'I'm sorry' act had just been to save his life. How could he! He wanted to take back his decision to spare him and kill him. Not shoot him but with his bare hands. He lightly touched the bruise on her face. This was no accident; it had been an indirect attack on him. To hit him where it would hurt the worst. And it had worked. Knives was now free to go do whatever he wanted. He had won…

"Isn't there anything we can do?" Millie quietly asked Wolfwood. "We have to try something…"

"I'm sorry but there's nothing. We're not doctors and that's what we need right now." Wolfwood told her.

"We might make it to town if we go now. I mean…its better than nothing…"

"No." Vash told her, not turning to face her. "It's a long way to either town, especially on foot. To move her around so much and to be in the sun would only make her suffer more. It's just too far…"

"Would you like us to step outside for a while? Give you a moment alone?" Wolfwood asked him. Vash silently nodded in reply and heard them leave. Sadly, he looked down to the little hand in his. At the little ring.

"Most of all I would like to say I'm sorry." He quietly told her. "I never seem to be around when you truly need me. I only seem to show up after the fact. Somehow I've always managed to fix things but I don't think I'll be able to this time. And I'm sorry. If only I had been there for you, this time and all those times before. If only I had held on a little tighter…but I didn't and now I'm about to lose you. But not forever. It'll just be a little while…I promise." He then broke down. He cried hard but silently. He cried for her. Their friends. And for himself.

Once again the urge to murder his brother rose up. He regretted not taking action that night all those years ago. How many would have been spared if he had just killed Knives? He thought back…wondering how it would have been if he had just thrown down the rock. Then he paused, becoming quiet.

What had happened to him? Such thoughts were not him. He may very well be justified but that still did not make it right. Not at all. What was he becoming? No…he didn't want this. He did not take back the hatred he had expressed, it was still there, but he took back the desire to kill. He didn't want things to end that way. He repented of what he had thought…no…what he had wanted to do. She wouldn't want that. Neither would Rem. Neither did he.

"I'm so sorry…I should never have…While killing him may be justice, I want to stay the man you fell in love with. Please forgive me…" He told her quietly.

"Hey! HEY!" Wolfwood shouted running back inside. Vash looked back at him over his shoulder in annoyance. He was being too loud. "You gotta come out here and look! Someone's coming!"

"What?"

"A bus! Help us flag them down."

As it turns out no flagging was necessary. The bus had abandoned the path of the road and now was navigating the rough terrain. Its destination was unmistakable. The three of them watched in quiet astonishment as it pulled right up to them. The door opened and a figure leaned out.

"Common." Knives told them, beaconing them in. Vash turned and ran back inside. He gathered Meryl up as gently as he could and hurried back outside. When they saw him coming Wolfwood and Millie climbed on in the back of the bus where he soon joined them.

Vash slipped into the nearest seat available. He looked around with a mixture of suspicion and confusion. There were no other riders on the bus, it was just them. Knives told the bus driver that that was all of them and the man immediacy whipped the bus around and began heading for the road.

"I don't understand…what's going on?" Vash asked.

"We're getting her to a doctor, that's what's going on." Knives told him.

"You folks are sure lucky I had to get an early start this morning because of that storm yesterday. Who knows when someone else would have been driving by. That and I spotted this pathetic feller sitting by his lonesome." The middle aged bus drier called back to them. Knives sat in the seat directly behind him. He looked back at the crew but quickly looked away. "I stopped to see if he needed a hand and he practically jumps on board and demands that I drive out here to get ya'll. At first I thought it was a trick and he though he was one of the bandits that had jumped you guys. I was about to floor it out of there but there was something about the way he asked me. That and he told me that a lady's life was on the line."

"Thank you so much for coming. Without you things would have been hopeless, now she actually has a chance." Vash gave his heartfelt thanks, actually beginning to hope once more. "I don't know how I can thank you."

"Yeah well just glad to help ya know? Not that I'm gonna charge ya or anything but I _am_ gonna be very late for my stop…"

"May the lord bless you for your kindness dear sir. We don't have much but we'll gladly give you all we have. But it's hardly what a saint like yourself deserves."

"Aww it was nothin really…" The driver said, thoroughly buttered up by the preacher slash conman. "You don't hafta give me nothing. I'm just glad to help. Oh and hey, in that compartment is a fist aid kit, go ahead and take it back there to them son." The driver told Knives.

If he was annoyed at being called 'son' by the man when Knives was old enough to be his great grandfather, he didn't show it. He fetched the kit and walked back to where they all sat. Nervously, he handed it over to Vash, then sadly looked down at Meryl. He hadn't got a proper look at her since the mining light had flickered out, and he wasn't too happy with what shape she was in. After a stern look from Vash that said 'get away from her now', Knives retreated back to his seat behind the driver.

-L&P-

The driver sped along faster than was safe, but the trip was still excruciatingly long. And it was mostly spent in silence. Every now and then there would be quiet conversation up front between Knives and the driver but no one else said a word. During the course of the trip Vash stared hard at his brother, trying to figure him out. He sat with his back towards them, still avoiding turning to look at them. His scars were plainly visible as well as a slight sun burn, being run off without any sort of protection for his skin. Even under the threat of death he had come back…what was going on with him, Vash wondered. This was not the same man from yesterday. That man was cold, nearly emotionless, and had murdered three others without a second thought or flash of remorse. But this one…he didn't know. And whether or not he found out depended on if the little life he held in his arms was saved.

Ten minuets ago she had actually stirred. He had felt that she was getting too warm and was trying to gently remove one of the coverings over her, when her eyes had slowly flickered open. He had so many things that he wanted to say to her at that moment, things that he thought he would never again have a chance to tell her, but he had been rendered speechless by just being able to look into her eyes again.

She had blinked a few times, disoriented, and then finally focused on him. Seeing that she was with him, she gave a small contented smile that nearly broke his heart. She tried to reach up to his face but he took her hand before she could exert herself too much. By their sharp inhalations, he knew that Wolfwood and Millie had noticed that she was awake as well. Meryl gave him one more smile then softly nuzzled up against him and was quickly asleep once more. And he had cried.

Despite his questing from money, the driver was a good natured soul and drove them right up to the doors of the local hospital. In a whirlwind of thanks and blessings, the crew rushed out and into the hospital. All except for one.

"Despite whatever happens now, I truly want to thank you for your kindness." Knives told the man. "If there is anything I can do for you please, name it."

"I already told ya, it's alright. You don't have to be thanking me. Now I don't want to seem like I'm running ya off or anything like that but I'm running _way_ late and need to get going."

"Of course." Knives nodded and stepped out.

"Hold on a sec!" The driver called out to him.

"Yes?"

"I think one of ya'll forgot something." He said pointing to the back of the bus. Knives climbed back on and went to see what it was. He picked up the familiar item from where it had been draped over the back of the seat and put it back on. They had left his jacket for him. It wasn't much…but it was a start.

-L&P-

The sun had gone down about two hours ago. Knives lurked in the shadows beside of the hospital. He hadn't once set foot in the building, he knew better than that. It was too soon to let his presence be known, although he wondered if it ever would be time. While flagging down the bus and sending it to find them may have helped his case, it fell woefully short of redeeming him but, unable to pull himself away, he had hung about. He listened outside of windows, catching occasional snippets of conversation, and watched the door. From what he had learned they had arrived nearly too late. But the bullet had been removed and the bleeding stopped in time. That had been about six hours ago though, and she had been moved to one of the upper floors where he couldn't eavesdrop in. All he had left was to wait. And think.

The threat of her dying had temporarily put his grief and horror on hold enough so he didn't take any further action against himself. But during that long vigil in the darkness he had plenty of time to ponder over his countless sins. If she hadn't been so adamant about him living he would have been tempted to try again to keep the memories from overflowing him. That and he had the overwhelming need to apologize.

Knives knew that whatever apologies that he offered would never come close to covering it, but he still felt the need to do so. But he had no idea what he would say. A simple 'I'm sorry' would never suffice, but what else could he say? What else could he do? She had told him to live and atone, but even if he spent every waking moment from now until the day he died working on that he could never set the scales even. He was lost…he didn't know what to do. Was there anything he _could_ do?

He sighed and slowly rested his face in his hands. It was so cold out here; he was on the verge of shivering. But he refused to move from his little space between the buildings. Whatever misery, however minute, God decided to bestow upon him he would accept. Quietly. As downcast as his current state was, it was also in a strange way…liberating. The serenity was a welcome relief to the raging tempest of his life thus far. It felt nice to turn away from the chaos he had created to something calmer, even if the price was his control over his life.

A prickling feeling on the back of his neck told him that he was being watched. He slowly looked up to see someone standing at the entrance of the little alleyway. For the most part they were bathed in darkness, but Knives instinctively knew who it was. They stared at one another for a few moments until Knives couldn't take the silence any longer.

"Is she alright?" He hesitantly asked.

"She'll live." Vash flatly told him, moonlight reflecting ominously off of his glasses. For the first time in hours Knives allowed himself a small sigh of relief. That was all he needed to know. But there was something now he needed to do. And it just might be the most difficult thing he would ever have to do.

"I…I suppose you want to know what happened?"

"Something like that."

"I'll tell you, but you please have to let me finish. Alright?" Vash said nothing. Knives took it on faith that that was an agreement and continued. "I hadn't intended on getting stuck with her. Actually I had been trying to go off on my own. But she clung to me and I was too preoccupied with getting inside to shake her off. I was…angry. Angry at what happed that day. Angry at you. Hell…I was angry at myself. I was angry and I wanted to take it out on someone and there she was. I don't remember how it started…I just remember I couldn't control myself…" Knives told him, cringing at the memory of what he had done. He expected his brother to fall back in a rage but he just silently stood there in the shadows.

"…And?" Vash asked him a moment later after Knives had been quiet too long.

"I…hurt her, scared her, but when she still tried to talk to me I couldn't take it anymore and…and was going to kill her…but I couldn't…it was the way she looked at me Vash…it reminded me…it made me remember…It made me realize." Knives trailed off, finding it increasingly difficult to speak. But still his brother remained silent. Why wasn't he saying anything, he wondered. Why was he just standing there? He tried to calm himself and regain control of his voice. He needed to say this, even if it killed him. "It…made me realized that I was wrong. That I…what I…it was wrong…Everything I had ever done was wrong. You have no idea…how that felt. How it still feels…I couldn't take it. I was…I was going to…" Unable to say it, he indicated a gun with his hand and demonstrated the action. "But she wouldn't let me. She tried to stop me. We fought over the gun…and…and…I didn't mean it! I didn't! I didn't deserve to be saved it but she wouldn't let me! I tried to push her away easy but she bit me and I jerked and…I didn't mean it…I'm sorry! I'm sorry for everything. For stranding us here, for Rem, all the awful things I have done to you and have made you do. I…I just wanted to tell you that. That I was sorry. You don't have to say anything…If you still want me to leave then I'll go…If you still want to kill me I understand and I accept it." Knives finished miserably. He stood from where he had been sitting and waited.

"You would accept it if I tried to kill you?"

"…Yes." He said and tensed, waiting for it to come.

"Why?" Vash asked him. The question caught Knives off guard.

"Huh?"

"Why would you accept me killing you?"

"Because…I deserve it…"

"Why would you think that I would even want to?"

"What?" Knives asked him. He was getting confused. Leaving his spot at the end of the ally, Vash walked to him.

"Meryl woke up about an hour ago. She told me everything. I came out here because I wanted to hear it from your own mouth. My brother, who I thought was lost, has finally come back to me. Something no one ever thought was possible, recently myself included. And you think I want to kill you? Like I told you before…how can someone so smart be so stupid?" Vash asked him, the ice finally leaving his voice. "And I don't want you to leave either." He said with a smile. "I just got you back. I plan on keeping you this time." Knives couldn't fight it any longer. He took his brother in a hard embrace and cried for all the lost years. And right with him Vash did the same.

-L&P-

Before letting Knives in, Vash had to sit down with Wolfwood and Millie in the waiting room and explain the situation. the last thing he wanted was for them to see him and automatically attack, like he knew they wanted to. Even the usually mild tempered Millie was in an avenging mood for her best friend. First he had told them what had happened when Meryl had woke up.

Some of the first words to come out of her mouth were to ask if Knives was alright. This had confused him as well as it did them. She had then grown afraid that one of them might have attacked him or he had harmed himself. To calm her down Vash had quickly assured her that no one had touched him, they just ran him off. But she hadn't calmed down like he hoped, she began to cry quietly. Before she had gotten too upset she had begun to tell him what happened.

The narration had taken quite some time. She had to take breaks often and had to halt his temper at first before it got too out of hand, but he soon didn't need to be told to listen. He had told Wolfwood and Millie what she had said and they listed with the same quiet shock that he had. After telling him what had happened she had fallen back asleep, severely exhausted. He then told the two of them what happened when he had gone out to confront Knives. They were completely astounded at what they were being told. Silently, they listened to it all. Finished, he sat back to await their reactions.

To the shock of the other two, Wolfwood started to laugh. "Well it's about damn time!" He joyously said. "I was wondering when it was gonna happen. I knew it was coming. I could see it; I went through the same thing after all. He sure took his sweet time though. But hallelujah and praise the lord that it finally happened…he repented." He laughed and picked Vash up in a bone breaking hug. "Well where is he? What are you waiting for?

"…air…"

"Whoops!" Wolfwood said, dropping him.

"…uwah…Well…I wanted to let you guys know so you wouldn't attack him. Honestly he's a little afraid to come in here and see everyone."

"Well he should be afraid after what he did." Millie said, in an uncharacteristically dark tone. The men froze, shocked. "Just because he was mad is no excuse. What will happen the next time he gets angry? And how do you know he's telling the truth? He could be lying. Again."

"But Millie…Meryl told the same story. This proves he's telling the truth." Vash said, hurt.

"Ok _but_…but I still don't trust him!"

"Millie why?"

"Because! I trusted him before. Completely. And look what happened! I knew he was cranky but I thought he was good…I believed in him. I don't want to trust him again and be hurt again. I don't think I can take it." She finished in tears. Before Vash could say anything in his brothers defense Wolfwood intervened.

"Aww Millie sweetheart…don't cry. I know it's hard to trust someone after something like this, but will you please try? You trusted _me_ again after I made that big mistake."

"It's not the same. You were trying to save us…"

"No it's not the same. But Knives has made a lot of mistakes, worse than any I've ever made. It was hard enough for me to change from what I was, imagine how hard it is for him. All of this is new to him. It's really no surprise he's screwed up. And if he's gonna get through this he's gonna need all of us helping. Please don't give up on him. Not when he's so close, and now that he's actually sorry. That's something he wasn't before. That's a good sign for us to hope. Will you please give him another chance?"

"…I guess so…" She said quietly, wiping her eyes off on her sleeve.

"That's my girl." Wolfwood said hugging her.

Vash left them and went to fetch Knives. When he returned Millie was looking a little better but there was still something hidden in her eyes. After a moment of hesitation Knives went and quietly sat down in one of the waiting room chairs, avoiding eye contact with any of the others. It strongly reminded Vash of the time back at the ship when Knives had joined them for that first breakfast. But this time around, instead of ignoring them, Knives seemed anxious, if not slightly afraid of their reactions. And he looked rough too, hell, they all were, but that was no wonder considering the last forty eight hours had not been kind.

Vash remained standing at the entrance of the waiting room. It almost felt as if he were stuck to the spot until something happened. Despite the positive reactions that he had gotten from them all he was still plenty anxious about this moment.

"Um…I…" Knives hesitantly began then faltered. He pleadingly looked to Vash for a little help. Vash thought over his many little tactics for breaking a mood but everything paled against the gravity of the situation. But he and Knives were spared from finding something to say by Wolfwood. He rose from his seat beside of Millie and walked over towards Knives. Vash sadly noted that Knives cringed slightly when Wolfwood stopped in front of him. Knives slowly looked up from his gaze on the floor to see Wolfwood extend a hand towards him.

Hesitantly Knives stood and took it. Just a second into the handshake Wolfwood pulled Knives hard towards him and embraced him, which the shocked man slowly returned. Vash just wanted to shout out '_Awww_' but he refrained. Wolfwood released him a moment later and stood aside. Millie nodded to him but made no other move and said nothing. Knives understood and nodded back to her.

"I'm…sorry. I am." He said quietly.

"We know man, you don't need to say it." Wolfwood assured him, clapping a hand on his shoulder. For someone who had held Knives at a distance for so long he sure warmed up to him quick, Vash thought happily amused.

"Yes I do." Knives said more strongly. "I owe each and every living soul on this planet an apology. Who knows what kind of world we would have had if it weren't for my foolishness. But instead I've sentenced everyone to this sandy hell…I'm sorry…"

"If I know anything about human nature Knives, it is that we would have made it a hell even if the planet was pure paradise."

"Small mercies…" Knives muttered. Wolfwood fell into an uncomfortable silence. There really was no way to try and consol him on the matter without Knives calling his bluff. The man was too damn smart for his own good. Vash decided it was time to step in.

"You're probably wanting to know how she's doing. How much have you heard from eavesdropping in?"

"You knew I was out there?" Knives asked, genuinely surprised. Vash smiled and tapped the side of his head.

"Residual abilities. Although thanks to genetics I kinda doubt they'll ever fade."

"_Huh_?"

"You mean you didn't _know_?" Vash asked his brother, completely shocked. "But you were the expert on that sort of thing! How could you _not_ know?"

"I'm lost here…" Wolfwood said. Millie agreed silently.

"I…I thought that all my abilities where gone. I've tested them! How?" Knives demanded, for once in days seeming like his usual self. It was a true relief, Vash thought with a smile.

"Not the mind slash power control. I made sure specifically that those were gone. And even the telepathy, for the most part anyway. I'm talking about the stuff you've never paid attention to. It's deeper than conscious thought. Sensing's another's presence for example…it's more like reading emotions rather than reading thoughts…" Vash said, slightly embarrassed although he had no idea why.

"Teach me." Knives demanded, his curiosity aroused. "But not tonight…"I want to know…how she's doing. I didn't do any…permanent damage, did I?" He asked, once more falling into the hurt repentant state. "I mean…the wound wasn't too low?"

"No" Vash smiled at his concern. He could tell that Knives was afraid that he might have ruined any chance of Vash having the family he had always wanted. "But if it would make you feel any better we can have the doctor tell you everything. I've already questioned him half to death…go ahead and finish him off for me." Vash joked. Knives snickered halfheartedly and followed him out of the waiting room.

The nurse stationed at the desk watched all of this with quiet fascination although with an air of apathy. She had listened to their conversations with growing curiosity (and confusion). But now that she was dying to know what was going to happen next, her shift was about to end. Figures, she sourly thought.

-L&P-

Everything was hazy and fuzzy as she came to. Meryl had lost track of how many times she had woken up and fallen back to sleep. And only heaven knew what day it was because she sure as hell didn't. And every time she woke up it seemed that someone new was sitting with her. Vash, Wolfwood, Millie…Meryl was glad to see that they were all doing well but there was someone else she needed to see at the moment. She had to know and see for herself that he was truly alright. So the next time she woke and was able to string complete sentences together, she asked Vash if she could see him.

"I'm not sure Meryl. That would be up to him. He's been avoiding coming to visit you. He's afraid that you'll be angry with him for what happened." Vash told her, holding onto her hand. Ever since the doctors allowed him to come see her he could hardly bear to be separated from her. While some would have found it annoying after a while she only thought of it as sweet. Honestly, she felt the same way. She held onto his hand tighter.

"He can't avoid me forever. Besides…he would be smart to get it over with now while I can't beat the life out of him." She muttered, trying to keep the world in focus. Vash smiled at her.

"I'm sure that'll make him come running. We all know that you're good on your threats."

"You had better believe it mister…And don't _you_ forget it." She said shaking her fist at him. "But seriously…I just want to see how he's doing for myself. Can you _try_ and convince him to come see me? Honestly it kinda hurts that he's avoiding me. But if seeing me hurts then I understand…"

"I'll see what I can do." He said, leaning over to kiss her of the forehead. He then got up and wordlessly left the room. Meryl waited, and waited. She was on the verge of falling asleep when her door opened up slowly. She expected to see an apologetic Vash standing there, but instead it was an apologetic Knives.

"Hey. How are you doing?" Knives asked her, coming and sitting down in the chair beside of the bed.

"Mmmm…much better than the last time I was shot. I didn't have diddly squat. Now they've got me on the good stuff." Meryl mumbled. She really didn't feel anything, much less pain. In fact, she was wondering why she hadn't floated away yet. Knives chuckled quietly.

"Yeah. I know the good stuff. Try being on it for about a month. Its no wonder I'm crazy." He tried to joke but fell into a heavy silence. And it didn't pass her notices that he had not looked at her once since coming in.

"Hey…" She said, becoming slightly more alert. "How are you doing?"

"I'm fine. They didn't hurt me. But just barely. They didn't for you. Personally I think you all are too soft on me."

"No." She said, struggling to sit up some. "I mean…" She said tapping the side of her head, hoping that he would catch her drift. She watched as he slowly looked up at her down and away. Meryl waited but he didn't answer.

"I don't know." He said after a long moment. "I really don't know…Meryl? I just want to tell you that…I'm sorry…I'm so sorry for what I've done. I wish you hadn't had gotten hurt on my account. It should have been me…"

"Could you…come a little bit closer? I have something to tell you but I don't want any eavesdroppers to overhear…" Meryl said quietly with a glance towards the door.

"…Alright…" He said with a quiet sigh. Slightly curious, he leaned in close.

She then slapped him as hard as she could. He jerked back in shock.

"How dare you try and pull a stunt like that mister!" She lashed at him. "What were you thinking! Trying to kill yourself! So help me Knives if you _ever_ try to do something that stupid again I'm gonna kick your ass! And if by some chance you do succeed…I'm gonna call a séance and give you such an earful you'll be begging to be exercised. Got that? Your problems can't be solved that way idiot! That's what we're here for. In the future, if you have a problem, just come to us with it. Or better yet, come to _me_! How stupid!"

Knives sat back in his chair as she went on partially stunned, partially amused. He hadn't had a tongue lashing such as this since he was still trapped in that cell. He just let her have at him and tried not to smile. But he was losing. She saw him fighting it and got even angrier. She hated it when people didn't take her seriously. And this was serious.

Meryl tried to sit up and emphasize her point but he scolded her and made her lay back down, quietly laughing that she had so much fire even while drugged. While he was helping her do so she slapped him again for laughing at her which only made him laugh harder. Eventually she had to ease up. Her outburst had drained what little energy she had. That along with the drugs made her become extremely drowsy quickly.

Eventually the nurse caught wind of her little tirade and started on Knives as well for disturbing the patient. Before he was comically pulled from the room via his ear by Nurse Butch, Meryl stopped them.

"What I said Knives, I meant it…Promise me you won't try and do something like that again." She said, fighting to stay alert.

"…I promise." He told her then was mercilessly pulled away. A few minuets later Vash came back in and took his spot in the chair.

"I hope you didn't exert yourself too much." He said, the amusement evident in his voice.

"What do you mean?" Vash pantomimed a slap to the face.

"That red mark was suspiciously shaped like your hand." He smiled at her.

"Well he deserved it." She huffed. "Going and trying to pull something like that. I'd slap him again if I had the energy for it."

"I'll let you have at him later, but for now you need to rest."

"I know…But can you do me a favor though?"

"Anything." He said taking her hand and lightly kissing it.

"Don't leave him alone. I'll be fine. He needs you more right now than I do. I'm afraid if he's left alone for too long he'll get to thinking too much…"

"Ok…You just go to sleep now. I'll go get Millie to sit with you then I'll go to him." He said tucking her in.

"Thank you."

"No…Thank you."

-L&P-

It seemed that fate never wanted to give them a break. Back at Bastion Ridge their funds had already been running dangerously low. The fiasco at the bank had effectively put a stop to their job hunting. To make things worse, they had lost just about everything they owned along with the car. The only money that they had to their name was a fifty that Wolfwood had tucked away on himself, and all that was going just for food, much less a place to stay. Not to mention that they now had a nice hospital bill thrown on top of the mix.

The doctor, having compassion on them, told them that they could work off the bill by helping out here at the hospital. Having experience with this sort of work, Millie volunteered immediately. But to everyone's surprise Knives refused. He insisted that because it was his fault that he should be the one to work off the debt, and him alone. They tried to reason with him but he was adamant about doing it himself. He had even gotten angry when the kept arguing with him, so eventually they let the issue drop and let him have his way.

With Knives doing odd jobs around the hospital and Vash staying with Meryl, it was up to Millie and Wolfwood to bring in the money. And Millie was thankful for the excuse to be out and about. If she had to sit around any longer worrying she was going to go crazy. But job hunting was proving to be a little difficult, well for her at least.

Wolfwood had reeled in a job down at the saloon almost instantly, but she was having difficulties finding one for herself. She went from shop to shop asking, trying to be on her most politest bestest behavior, but she kept coming up empty handed. She had even begun stopping at people's homes offering house cleaning services or babysitting, but no dice.

Frustrated and discouraged, she slowly made her way back to the hospital. That was the only place she hadn't asked yet. Millie knew that Knives had already staked his clamed as the worker there but there could be a job there that she could possibly do too. And the small vindictive part of her wanted to find a job there just to see if he would say anything about it. She was still angry with him, although not violently.

It felt strange being the only one to keep him at a distance while the others had taken him in. It was like the complete opposite of what things had been before. She felt a little guilty about how she felt but she couldn't really help it that she felt this way. She just didn't know how to feel about Knives anymore. She had always trusted her heart to tell her what to do in situations like this, but now it seemed as if she were torn in two directions.

Pondering these things over, Millie was about to enter the hospital but paused when she heard a familiar voice. There was a steady stream of frustrated curses coming from out of sight on the other side of the building. Curious and slightly amused, she slowly peeped around the corner and tried not to laugh at what she saw.

The decrepit little old maintenance man of the hospital had assigned Knives the duty of giving the place a new coat of paint. Knives had stuck to his orders but he was making more mess than progress. Instead of taking smooth paint strokes, he was trying to get as much paint over as wide of an area as possible. Good in theory…poor in execution. And adding to his temper was the fact that he seemed to be getting more on himself than on the building. Despite her huffiness at him, Millie couldn't help but laugh at the sight. Unaware that he had an audience, her laughter nearly startled him off of his perch on the ladder.

"You've never painted before, have you?" She asked, walking around to look up at him.

"Plotting genocide doesn't leave much time to learn about home improvement." He said tiredly. Frustrated, he tossed the brush back down in the can and scowled at his 'handy work'.

"I know that you want to do this on your own, but would you care for a few pointers? I've been doing stuff like this since I was a little girl." She politely offered to him. Knives hesitated for a moment.

"Alright." He reluctantly agreed and climbed down.

"Hehe…you've got paint on your face…" She giggled, wiping away a spot on the tip his nose. "Ok! Painting is easy to learn once you've learned how to do it." She announced in a school teachers voice.

"Wait…what?"

"No arguing with the teacher…Now face the wall…Give me your hand…pretend you're holding a brush…Now it's back and forth easy like this. Smoooth even strokes. Don't try to glob it all on at once. It may look faster, but it just makes things more difficult and it looks bad. Now give it a try." She said releasing him. He climbed back up and did as she had told him to. "See? Isn't that better?"

"Yes it is easier to do. Even if I do feel like a fool now." He said, trying to smooth over the messy areas.

"Why do you say that? You didn't know any better. Nobody knows how to do everything."

"I know. But not knowing how to do something as simple as paint is embarrassing."

"Don't worry about it. You just have a lot of catching up to do. That's all." She said simply. Knives paused a moment, then put the brush back in the bucket and climbed back down.

"Are you still angry with me?" He asked her up front. Mille was slightly taken aback by the abrupt question. But in a way she admired his ability to face the problem headlong instead of trying to avoid it like some people do.

"I…suppose I am and I'm not at the same time." She answered slowly.

"What do you mean?"

"I'm angry that you betrayed us like that and I'm very angry that you hurt Meryl but I also know you didn't truly mean it and you didn't know any better."

"Yes I did." He said quietly, looking her in the eye.

"I know that you _knew_ better…I meant that you didn't _know_ better." She said. She could see that she was just confusing him so she tried to explain. "You know right from wrong just like the rest of us, but you've spent most of your life around awful people so you really didn't know how to act any differently. That and you've been very confused for a long time…Do you understand what I'm trying to say?"

"I believe so. But I don't want you or anybody else trying to make excuses for me. There is no excuse. All I need to know is if you will forgive me." He asked her. Millie quietly thought for a long hard moment. He waited patiently until she made up her mind.

"…I will…but on _one_ condition." She said sternly, holding up a single finger. She saw his heart fall at this but she also saw acceptance in his eyes. "I will forgive you if you promise to change a little more each day to the man we all know is inside of you."

"How do you know there is such a person?"

"We can see it. We always have, even if you didn't."

"…I promise…And thank you." He told her.

"You're welcome." She said brightly, her heart at peace now that it had made up its mind. Knives managed to give her a small smile then turned to get back to painting before it dried, but ended up tripping over the black cat that had come to inspect his shoe. He latched onto the ladder for balance and ended up spilling the whole bucket of paint on himself and falling anyway. Millie was able to resist it for all of two seconds before she burst out laughing.

"Ahahaa! Oh you poor thing! That was a brand new shirt too! Hahahaaa! I'm sorry…I'm sss-sssoorry!…I g-guess clumsiness runs in the family! Aahahahaa! Sorry!"

-L&P-

Wolfwood slowly walked to the hospital from his job at the saloon, thankful to be away. It was by no means the most pleasant job, nor was it fitting for a priest, but it paid. Millie had gotten a job working for the hospital as well so the extra income helped things out greatly. After staying their second night there the hospital staff had kicked everyone out other than Vash who they allowed to stay with Meryl. But the other three had to find a place to stay.

It had taken every ounce of smooth talking he could muster but Wolfwood managed to convince the owner of the saloon that he was working in to let them stay in the guest room upstairs until he received his first pay check. But it was a very tiny room above a very noisy bar, with one very tiny bed with three above average sized people. Naturally they had given Millie the bed without a second thought, but she felt guilty about it and wouldn't accept it without a fight. They managed to talk her into it but only on the condition that they take the pillow and blanket.

So she got the bed using her coat as a blanket and a wadded up sheet as a pillow. Knives, despising the cold, had naturally latched onto the blanket and had chosen to sleep against the far wall in the patch of moonlight. And that left Wolfwood with a flat deformed pillow and the cold hard floor by the door where it was the noisiest. Oh the wonderful life of the wanderer…

Wolfwood dreaded trying to get some sleep tonight, as he did every night. He was sorely tempted to crawl into bed with Millie where it was warm and comfortable, but considering that there was a third roommate it seemed inappropriate even by his loose standards. But that was not the only problem in having to share a room with Knives.

It really wasn't unexpected to Wolfwood, but it was still troubling none the less. Soon after they had moved into the little room Knives had taken to having nightmares. The first time it had happened it had scared the life out of Wolfwood and Millie. Wolfwood had immediately gone to wake him up. Not recognizing him, Knives had lashed out at him and got him good. He soon came to his senses, then upon seeing what he had done, had locked himself in the bathroom until morning.

None of the nightmares were as severe as that first night, but they were still there. Wolfwood and Millie gently (and cautiously) woke him up whenever they caught him, but it was mostly troubled tossing and turning that they slept through. And the poor sleep along with all the hard work was beginning to take its toll on Knives as well. But hell, he wasn't dong much better, Wolfwood thought tiredly.

After a long and particularly exasperating night at the bar, all he wanted to do was get to the hospital, drop off the bag of food since needle noggin would sooner starve then leave Meryl for even a few minuets (not that he would do any differently, but that was beside the point), and then get to bed. He couldn't wait until Meryl was well enough so that they could bid this place farewell. As he walked along in the moonlight thinking about snatching a bottle of whisky when the bartender wasn't looking, Wolfwood noticed someone sitting off in the desert by themselves. And judging from that pale shade of blond and the color of the jacket he could guess who it was.

Knives sat by himself staring out across the sand. The different hues of the moons giving the sand an almost kaleidoscopic unreal color. It was not like hadn't seen the desert at night, but he had never really _paid_ attention to it before. There were a lot of things he was seeing for the first time recently. It was really amazing how much he had overlooked in his one hundred and thirty years of living…

He looked away from the desert down to his hands. They were dirty from hard work and they were beginning to blister in places. That in itself was a wonder to him. He had never before had blisters. He had always thought such work was degrading and had always gotten someone else to do it. But now he felt differently. There was something strangely gratifying by working hard then stepping back and observing what all your own hands had accomplished. To create instead of destroying. He was skilled in creating geo plants but this was different…His observations were cut short as he heard someone approaching. The wariness faded quickly when he saw it was only Wolfwood.

Wolfwood walked right up to him. "Is this seat taken?"

"Go ahead." Knives said, indicating the ground beside of him. Wolfwood anchored his gun in the ground before sitting down. They sat in silence like that for a long time. One moon rose higher in the sky while another began to set. Eventually it was Wolfwood to break the almost eerie silence.

"You know…you've been awfully busy lately…The bill's already been paid off but yet you're still at it. Are you avoiding us by any chance?"

"No. Not you all. Just myself." Knives said darkly without looking at him. "I want to keep busy. I don't like to stay still; it gives me too much time to think. I don't like to go to sleep either."

"The nightmares?"

"How do you know that?" Knives asked him.

"We sleep ten feet from each other Knives. It's hard not to know when you're having a nightmare."

"…Sorry. If I'm bothering you two I can try and find somewhere else to stay."

"Or how about you just talk about it…Might help." Wolfwood suggested.

"I highly doubt that." Knives said, his tone slightly bitter.

"It did for me. Believe it or not Knives, I went through the same thing you're going through. I admit that it's not to the same degree but out of all the others I believe I understand you the best." Knives didn't reply but he looked at him with a mix of curiosity and expectancy. Wolfwood took that as a sign to continue. "Vash told me about what you two had to endure on the ship. Did you know I committed my first murder when I was seven? It was my so called 'guardian'. You can fill in the blanks because I refuse to say anymore about him. It was because of him and my hatred that I got involved with the gung ho guns anyway. I know you already know this but I was taught that murder was no big deal…a necessity. _Theeen_ I met your brother…" Knives snorted in dry amusement. "I eventually began to see myself for what I truly was…and I hated it. I despised being forcibly reminded of what I was. But I began to change. It was the then that I learned that it's easy to forgive others for their transgressions…but it's another matter altogether to forgive yourself."

"I wouldn't even know where to begin. And…I'm not sure I even want to."

"Amen. I understand that completely. But you can't keep holding onto it. It's eventually going to tear you apart."

"What I've done isn't so easy to let go of Wolfwood. Not when I am constantly faced with the reminder of it. Hell, even the very air I breathe is a reminder. The whole world is…" Knives snapped. He scooped up a handful of sand and watched as it slowly trickled away between his fingers. "It's because of me that we're here…And that's only scratching the surface."

"I know that Knives. But the point that I'm trying to make to you is that you don't have to endure it alone. I didn't do it alone and you don't have to either. You have one helluva weight on your shoulders. Let us help out a little, ok? And just take it one day at a time, and I don't mean by working yourself into the ground either." Wolfwood scolded him.

"How then Wolfwood? How do I learn to live with something like this?" Knives despondently asked him. Wolfwood took a deep breath and slowly exhaled. He then began to tell him, from experience, what all he had done, everything that carried him through. He told him about how as time went by and after successfully making it from one day to the next how the load would get lighter. Slowly, painfully, but it would ease. It would never leave, but it would become bearable. But only over time.

-L&P-

It had been a happy day when Meryl had finally been released from the hospital. She was slow and slightly shaky as she had walked out. Every one of them would have willingly carried her but she wanted to walk out under her own steam, and every one of them knew better than to argue with her. But all of that had been about a week ago.

It was now a bright and serene morning. There had been no possible way that the five of them could have stayed in that single room above the saloon without murdering one another so they winced at spending the extra money and got a small apartment. Meryl and Millie sat at the table enjoying a cup of coffee while the brothers did the cooking. Wolfwood, having had drawn the short straw, had been last in line to use the bathroom and was still in there.

It had taken a joint effort on their part to try and drag Knives out of the depression that he had fallen in. Half of the problem was that he didn't want to feel better. He felt as if he deserved to be unhappy and suffer. The first step they had taken had been to get him to quit abusing himself.

He wasn't actively hurting himself; he was just wearing himself to the ground. He would hardly eat, hardly sleep, and then would work nearly non stop. It was actually the doctor that had been the one to finally put a stop to this behavior. He had been observing Knives ever since he and Vash had talked with him that one night, and he could see that something was deeply troubling the young man. He had accepted his rather poor, although well intentioned, work at the hospital in the hopes that it would help him shake it off. But he had promptly put his foot down and would not allow him to work there anymore once he saw his condition to continue to degrade. After a lecture, which everyone else was excluded from (much to their displeasure and amplified curiosity), and a free sleep aid the doctor bid him his best wishes and farewell.

The next step was much harder. And that was to get him to gain some sort of equilibrium emotionally. They each spent one on one time with him, almost in shifts it seems. If all the extra attention annoyed Knives he didn't show it. He was just too quiet. They all wanted the spirited and somewhat (ok…very) sarcastic Knives back, and they let him know it too. But the problem was how could they discuss his depression with him without bringing up its source? They couldn't just tell him 'there there…it's ok…it's not your fault' because it was, and they were not going to insult his intelligence by insisting otherwise.

Vash would take him out for walks out into the desert. Sometimes they wouldn't return to well past midnight. It was during these walks that they would talk, brother to brother. It was Vash who did the majority of the talking with Knives throwing in a comment or question periodically. He told him of the good things in life worth fighting for. He told him of his hardest moments and how he thought that he wouldn't make it through, but did anyway. But most of all he talked of the future, and how he wanted Knives to be a part of it.

While Vash'es view of the future focused around having a home in a nice town with everybody, family, and friends, Knives'es view was more expansive. He never for a moment believed in the possibility of him finding someone to live his life with. He primarily wondered about the future of the human race as a whole. This made him think of how he had horribly sabotaged them. And he would wonder how he could possibly right that wrong.

Millie's tactic to try and help him was to distract him. She would drag him off grocery shopping every chance she could. She happily noted that he was no longer tense around people, but still wisely held a degree of caution. Lacking a chess board, they couldn't play their favorite game together, but she often made him play old maid with her. Or they sometimes built card castles together. He was really good at it, but would get annoyed whenever that stray black cat would send it crashing down.

And even though she didn't understand half of what he was telling her, Millie got him to tell her all sorts of technical stuff that only he knew about. Things like astronomy, chemistry, electronics….She tried to avoid the topic of plants, knowing that it upset him that the others were trapped, but pried for anything else that sounded interesting. He was reluctance at first to talk so much, but gradually became more accustomed to it and became more comfortable speaking again.

Wolfwood was more subtle with his methods. They never would talk to one another very much. A quiet sort of understanding seemed to pass between the two naturally. He was reluctant to accept it but finally agreed to take it out of necessity whenever Vash finally gave him back his gun. Occasionally, Knives and Wolfwood would go out and shoot for a while in the evenings. Again not much was said, but there really wasn't any need to. Wolfwood taught Knives some of the newer songs on the piano while conversely Knives taught him a few of the old ones.

Despite whatever progress they made with Knives, he would always seem to revert back whenever he spent time with Meryl. She could see the remorse hiding in his eyes whenever they talked together. And it was only made worse by her still weak state. On more than one occasion she had assured him that he was forgiven and that he shouldn't dwell on it, but he refused to let something go. Despite her efforts to take it easy on him she had finally lost her temper and demanded to know what he was thinking.

He then confessed to her, that even if she was fine, he was still hurt over what he had done to her. Not accidently shooting her, not hitting her, but the kiss he had forced on her. He quickly went on to tell her that he had not meant anything nor had he planned on taking it further, he had just wanted to scare her. Neither of them had told Vash about it yet. She was willing to forget about it and leave it buried in the past, but the feeling of deep betrayal was eating at Knives. She told him that she had already forgiven him for it, but if he needed forgiveness from Vash as well then he knew what he had to do. He reluctantly had agreed. Knives had got off easy with only a black eye and the silent treatment for half a day. After that was over with, he seemed to be doing much better. Not completely, but better.

Now here they were in their tiny little apartment. Everybody was itching to get on the road again but both Vash and Knives refused to leave until they were absolutely content that Meryl was in top shape again. Everything would have seemed normal (as normal as they can manage anyway), but Meryl noted that Millie had been acting rather odd lately. And it was particularly bad this morning. She kept fidgeting and avoiding looking anyone in the eye. Finally curiosity got the better of Meryl.

"Millie, what's up with you today?" Meryl asked, trying to act nonchalant.

"What? Oh…nothing! Nothings up with me. Ehehehee…" Millie rambled out nervously. Meryl cocked an eyebrow up at her.

"You're hiding something…" She said suspiciously.

'No I'm not." Millie said quickly. Too quickly. "What in the world could I be hiding?"

"I don't know but you are hiding something. I can see it."

"Huh? What am I missing? Who's hiding what?" Wolfwood said strolling on in, towel drying his hair. He reached over and snuck a drink of Millie's coffee. Meryl noted that Millie's fidgeting increased whenever Wolfwood sat down by her. Suddenly a thought struck her. An unexpected one but a completely possible thought. And boy would it mean big news…

She leaned in close to whisper her suspected question to Millie. Millie began to blush furiously and quickly launched into a denial.

"Oh no no no Meryl! It's not that believe me."

"It's not what?" Wolfwood asked, curious but oblivious.

"I'm not acting strange because I'm pregnant" She frankly told him. Wolfwood spat out his drink of coffee everywhere.

"You're what?"

"What's that?" Vash asked peering around the doorway, Knives looking a second behind him.

"Pregnant."

"What?"

"No no…she's not…at least…"

"Well congratulations!"

"Wait…I thought you took…"

"I hope it's a girl!"

"No!" Millie shouted exasperatedly. "I'm not! That's what I'm trying to tell you."

"Then what is it?" Meryl asked. "What are you acting so darn weird and uptight about?"

"It's just that I wanted to talk about something with you guys but I didn't know how to bring it up. There's somewhere I want to go but I don't want to seem selfish or make any of you go out of your way for me…"

"Don't be silly Millie…" Vash laughed. "It's not selfish. If you have somewhere you need to go then we're there! Its not like we have anywhere pressing to go at the moment."

"Are you sure?" She asked hesitantly.

"We're sure hon. Now where is it that you're wanting to go?" Wolfwood said, looking immensely relieved. He would go to the moon if she asked him to, just not that…Well, not yet anyway.

"A little place called Cira."

"Wait…Cira outside of December?" Wolfwood asked intently.

"Why yes. Have you heard of it?"

"Have I heard of it? It's only the neighboring town to Gloria…where my church is!"

"You're kidding me! You mean we were neighbors this whole time!"

"Would this be classified as irony or fate?" Knives asked no one in particular.

"Oh my gosh! That's so nifty!" Millie gushed excitedly, jumping up and down. "Our homes are so close to each other!"

"You want to head back home?" Meryl asked her.

"It's been so long since I've seen my family. They're probably worried to death about me. That and I kinda have another reason…" She said abashedly. Everyone looked at her in expectant silence waiting for her to continue. "Well…in a few weeks they're gonna hold the Thompson family reunion. And I was kinda wondering and hoping that we could go. I want you to meet them and I was kinda wanting to show you off to them."

"Awww…." Vash cooed. Knives rolled his eyes.

"Well I umm…" Wolfwood avoided, uncomfortable.

"You don't want to go?" Millie quietly asked him, hurt.

"I do! But it's just that…I've never had a real family. I have no idea how to act! And what if they don't like me?"

"Hehe." She giggled. "You're so silly Nic! Of course you have a family…us! And if I know my family I know that they'll love you just as much as I do!"

"Even if you are a sarcastic smartass." Knives playfully jabbed at him. Wolfwood was about to throw a stinging remark back at him as well but he just settled back in his seat and smirked. This confused everyone at first until they noticed what Wolfwood had…smoke beginning to waft out of the kitchen.

"Oh no! They're burning!" Vash cried out running back into the kitchen.

"I thought you turned it off!" Knives snapped at him, close behind.

"But you were the one using this eye!"

"You were teaching me! It's your fault!"

"Don't try and push this one off on me!"

"Well _I_ didn't do it!"

"You _did_ do it!"

Wolfwood shook his head sadly. How can two individuals, having lived as long as they had, with _supposed_ superior intelligence, screw up something as simple as cooking breakfast? It was one of life's many wonders….


	15. Gloria

**Chapter Fifteen:**

**Gloria**

After a rough two weeks on the road, it was unanimously agreed that they take the evening off and blow some money in the local saloon before heading to the hotel. Travel wouldn't be so bad but it was slow going. They were stuck walking after the girls had absolutely refused to get on another sand steamer. They didn't have enough money to bus hop, and with a group their size nobody was willing to give them a ride. They really didn't have money to burn, but since they were getting close to their destination so nobody really felt guilty about the splurge.

They all piled in, looking forward to getting off of their feet, and settled for a booth in the back. The move for privacy wasn't really needed, because the few regular patrons of the bar that were already there had already passed out. The bartender eyed the newcomers with a mixture of suspicion and greed and strolled right up to them.

"Alright folks, what'll it be?"

"Get us two bottles of something cheap but with a kick!" Wolfwood happily said right off the bat.

"Can do." The man said then was gone.

"Hey…I wasn't wanting anything hard tonight." Vash fussed at him.

"Common, don't be such a wuss! Next thing you know you'll be drinking water just like those two lightweights over there."

"Ha." Meryl said sarcastically. Knives gave him a rude gesture.

"My big girl here knows how to knock 'em back, isn't that right hon?"

"You betcha dear! I plan on getting completely wasted tonight! Wooo!" She cheered loudly. Wolfwood laughed hard. He then carried the issue on.

"Vash says he doesn't want any but he's really afraid that I'll kick his ass in another drinking contest!"

"You never beat me."

"Yes I did."

"No you didn't."

"Yes I did. Didn't I Millie?"

"I can't remember a single thing from that night." She said proudly. "But I'm sure you won. Vash never can hold his alcohol well."

"Errr…Alright, you're on! And I shall be victorious!" Vash said, striking a battle pose with one foot on the table.

"And how would you go about determining the winner? The one who is the last to vomit?" Knives asked propping his head up on his fist, dryly amused at the exchange.

"No, just pass out." Vash told him.

"Feet off the table sir…" The bartender scolded him. Vash timidly sat down. "Here you folks are, enjoy." He said then left, sensing trouble brewing out of these five. He didn't know what kind of trouble yet but he knew that he was going to regret serving them yet.

"Hey Knives, wanna join us?" Vash said opening a bottle.

"Not a chance."

"Are you kidding Vash?" Wolfwood laughed. "A virgin like him would never last against the pros."

"I _have_ had alcohol before you know." Knives said with a hint of irritation.

"_Tasted_ maybe, but you've never _drank_."

"And you know this how?"

"I can see it." Wolfwood said smugly, challenging him. Knives glared at him then turned when Meryl started snickering.

"And what's so funny?"

"Sorry, sorry…It was just the thought of you drunk…It struck me as funny, that's all."

"And why aren't you drinking?" He asked her, trying to deflect some of the attention off of himself.

"Because…I don't want to make a fool of myself." She said loftily.

"And yet you want to see me act that way?"

"Quit beating around the bush Knives! You man enough to drink or aren't you?" Wolfwood asked, holding up a shot. Knives frowned at him for a moment then slowly a mischievous grin spread over his face. Vash knew that look, and it never ended well…

"Sure, I'll drink…only if she does." He said smugly, nodding towards Meryl. Millie 'ooh'ed at the challenge and then giggled. Wolfwood looked at her expectantly, while Vash looked as if he were trying to think of a way to get her out of it.

Meryl couldn't believe that rotten, sneaky, no good, excuse for a man. Using her to get out of something he didn't want to do. The nerve of him! Her temper flared up when she saw that familiar smirk that he always used to get when he ticked one of them off back at the ship. Oh he's played this game with her before…, she thought with her own smug look, and he lost then too.

"Deal." She said crossing her arms. Everyone else cheered that no-drinking Meryl was finally gonna join them, while Knives looked slightly stunned.

"Alright! You two said you would…no turning back now!" Wolfwood gloated, handing them both a shot. Meryl threw hers back without batting an eye (the others roaring in approval) then sat the little glass down hard on the table and looked up expectantly at Knives.

He looked down at her annoyed for a second then smirked at her, amused that once again she had gotten one up on him, and then drunk his. Nearly immediately he began to cough and sputter, which naturally the others found hilarious.

"Good isn't it?" Vash laughed, patting him on the back until he could breathe again.

"You people drink this stuff for fun?" He wheezed. "What the hell is _wrong_ with you all?"

"Just give it a few more rounds…You'll see why."

-L&P-

It wasn't too long before everyone in the back booth was talking loudly and laughing even louder. Wolfwood and Vash had long ago given up drinking, wanting to stay mostly sober so they could enjoy the show of their two usually dry companions cut loose. And boy were they cutting loose.

Meryl had already reenacted the infamous office party event by loudly giving her rendition of her favorite love song, much to Vash'es amusement and embarrassment. Knives was quickly turning out to be one of the drunks that just would not shut up. That and to see him try and fight the effects of the alcohol and stay in control was both pathetic and priceless. Millie, of course, was always a hoot.

"Aw man…this one was braand new!" Knives said looking down at the large stain spreading down his chest. He had tried to take another drink but unfortunately had missed. "I just can't ever seeem to keep a shirt! I've gone throoh moar clothes since I've met you guys than I haad my entire life! Except for you…I'll keeep you forever…" Knives slurred slightly, kissing the collar of his jacket.

"Look out guys, I think Mr. Macho Plant here has had one too many!" Wolfwood laughed, yet poured Knives another. Knives didn't notice at the moment. He was too busy trying to stand long enough to peal off his jacket. The wet shirt came off next.

"Woohoo! Take it all off!"

"Millie!"

"What? I don't blaame him! It's hot in heeer! I'm tempted to do the same!"

"Shees yoor responsability naow Wolfwood. This ones all yoou." Meryl laughed loudly, taking Knives'es drink, then Vash took it away from her, slightly concerned. "_Heey_!"

"Well why not? We're alll adults heer. Besidees…I haave never understood humans and moadasty issues." Knives said sitting back down hard. He reached for his drink but blinked in confusion when he couldn't find it. He shrugged it off and continued. "I meen common…It doesn't bother me! I spent about tweenty years naked, in front of the gung ho guns and everything!"

"Ew."

"Oh _God_…"

"_Why_!"

"_Seee_? Thaats what I'm talking about! I didn't care! Of course I would have kiillled them if they had thought aanything. Aand I would have known tooo…" He said slyly tapping the side of his head. "Aaaanyway …I was like that because I was growing these back!" He said proudly patting his legs.

"You were…what?" Wolfwood asked, wondering if he really wanted to know. No more for you he thought.

"My legs! I regena…reginra…reginna…I grew them back…after he shot them off!" He said loudly, pointing an accusatory finger at Vash, who was also thinking that Knives had had enough. "Yeeah I took his arm off aand I'm sorrry about that, but you got me worse! And yoou yoosed the fricken angel arm to beat it all off! You coulda killed me! But naw…I aint mad. I was a bastard, I deeserved it. But you know…no…you wouldn't…_but_ the worsrt part of it all was that regimamation _itches_! And I had to grow back everything from heer down, and I mean _everything_."

"Ok! Shut up now! La la laaa! Shut uuup!" Vash said plugging in his ears.

"It's _true_!"

"But I don't wanna hear about it, and neither do they."

"Whaat? Am I _embarissing_ you? You all wanted me to drink so deel with the consaquences dammit!" He snapped, sitting his glass down hard.

"Awww thaats amature stuff Knives!" Meryl laughed. "He didn't even blush! If you wanna embariss him, you gotta do something liike this…"

"My eyes!" Wolfwood cried out, covering them. Millie just cheered while Knives looked slightly horrified.

"Theere, see? As red as his coat now." Meryl said proudly, sitting back.

"Ok…um…we'll talk about that later, just not around anyone else…" Vash said, blushing fiercely, avoiding looking at anyone.

"Ii'll just stick with talking aoubt lost body parts thaank you." Knives said haughtily, reaching for the bottle.

"I think that you three have had enough." Wolfwood said trying to take it away from him. Knives pulled it back.

"Ooh no you don't…the rest is mine." He snapped.

"You drink anymore and you're gonna pass out and spiky is obviously gonna have his hands full with short stuff there. And you have another thing coming if you think I'm gonna carry you back to the hotel." Wolfwood growled, grabbing the bottle and trying to pull it back.

"I'll do it!" Millie loudly declared.

"I said it was mine! Let go!" There was a brief tug of war over the bottle until Knives kicked him hard from under the table. Wolfwood let go with a yelp, but unprepared for the sudden release, Knives lost control of the bottle and it ended up spilling all over his lap.

"I swear if you weren't drunk right now I'd kick your ass." Wolfwood snapped at him, rubbing his leg.

"Not again…" Knives said, looking down at his wet pants. He stood up and began kicking his shoes off.

-L&P-

After about an hour of holding her up while she was sick, Meryl was finally settled enough for Vash to go check up on Knives. He went to his room and knocked gently. He didn't get an answer, but found the door was unlocked.

"Knives?" He softly called out, seeing that the bed was empty. But soon a rather unpleasant sound told him where his brother was. "Hey…I came to see how you were doing."

"You're lucky that I'm incapacitated right now or else I would beat the hell out of you for letting me drink that stuff." Knives grumbled looking up from his spot on the floor by the toilet long enough to scowl at him, then back again.

"That bad huh? Have you ever had a hangover before?" The sound of his brother being sick was his reply. "I guess not…"

"I take it back…" Knives said wiping off his mouth. "I take it all back. I hate you all and I'll kill you if I can ever quit…quit…"

"Common, don't be that way…" Vash pouted as he held him up. Instead of fighting him, Knives fully leaned into the support. "Can't you tell me that you at least had a _little_ fun last night?"

"No…But I can't say I remember much of it."

"Oh good."

"What? Why?" Knives asked, mustering the strength to look up at him.

"No reason!" Vash said quickly.

"Vash you had better tell me. What happened?"

"You don't remember _anything_ you did?" Vash asked cautiously.

"…that I did…What did I do?" Knives asked, worried.

"Well…"

"Tell me!"

"Well you are permanently banned from that bar…but on the bright side several pretty ladies did give you their addresses."

"Wha…"

"And if Wolfwood, Millie, and Meryl give you funny looks for a while just ignore it." The look that Knives gave him then made Vash decide he had better make a hasty exit. "Really it's nothing Knives. You really don't want to know…Oh hey! Look at the time! I gotta go check up on Meryl now. I'll be back later to check up on you. Ok? Bye!"

"Wait! What happened? What did I do?" Knives called out to the retreating figure with a pleading note in his voice. He was about to get up and follow him but then the nausea hit him again.

-L&P-

"I don't know about this anymore guys…It's been a long time, I'm kinda nervous." Millie said, kicking the sand nervously. They were on the outskirts of the little farming community of Cira. It was mid-morning and the person who had drove them all on to get there in a hurry was now hesitating.

"Oh common Millie…You always speak so fondly of your family. I've always wanted to meet them. Why in the world would you be nervous?" Meryl asked her.

"Well because…I haven't been home in a while…" She twisted a lock of her hair and fidgeted, hiding something. "…that and I forgot to write them the last few months…" She finished in a small voice. Knives just laughed at her.

"You're getting all bent out of shape because you didn't write? I really don't think that it's that big of a deal Millie."

"Family is very important to us Thompsons. They'll be mad at me; you just wait and see…"

"Cheer up hon…If they say anything just tell them the truth…that things have been too hectic to write. And if they still aren't happy, just tell them that it's his fault." Wolfwood said motioning towards Knives, who frowned at him.

"I guess that there's no point in delaying the inevitable…so let's get going everyone!" Millie cheered, instantly switching back to happy and marching on. The others gave her a bemused smile for a moment then followed.

They passed farmhouse after farmhouse. And at every field that they passed the workers would look up, see Millie, then run up to greet her. Then they would proceed to catch up on old times, check up on each other, and just generally get reacquainted. That wouldn't have been such a problem but there were a lot of workers, and a lot of farmhouses. At this rate they didn't reach Millie's home until past noon, and even the most temperate of them were beginning to feel a little frayed, while the shorter tempered of the group were about to snap.

"Well this is it!" Millie cheerfully said, pointing to the house up ahead. As they approached several people looked up to watch the newcomers. Millie began laughing and waving and took off for them at a run. The faces of those in the field lit up in recognition and they ran for her as well. By they time the rest of the group had caught up with her Millie was surrounded by eight laughing and crying people.

"How dare you go for so long without writing young lady!" A slightly pudgy middle aged woman with her hair in a long braid scolded after releasing her from an embrace. "You had us all absolutely worried to death! Why in the world couldn't you spare a few minutes to write your family?"

"Things have been a little rough lately Mom." Millie said timidly. But her mother didn't look convinced. "…Ummm…it's his fault." She said pointing at Knives. He stared at Millie in indignant shock, while Wolfwood looked supremely pleased with himself.

"Well…as long as you didn't forget about us." Said one of the younger men in the family cluster.

"Oh never Anry! Never! In fact, I brought all my best friends out here to see you all. Guys, I want you to meet my family. This is my Mom…" She said hugging the older woman tightly. "This is Dad…" She said doing the same to an intimidatingly large man. But instead of seeming threatening, he gave off the aura of being just a big teddy bear. "And this is my little big sister Lisa, my little big brother Adam, Dougie, Anry, Rodney, and Mikey. My big big sister Clare, middle big sister Jenny, big big brother Jake, and middle big brother Ricky aren't here right now. They live elsewhere but you'll be seeing them real soon! I'll be so happy!"

"And are you going to introduce your friends to us dear?" The father asked.

"Oh yeah! I forgot. This right here is Meryl, the one I told you all about in all of my letters."

"Hi." Meryl said slightly shyly, feeling shorter than she ever had in her entire life in the midst of all these giants. It was like she was a little girl again. To her shock and Millie's delight, her mother picked her up and gave her a huge hug.

"Millie speaks so highly about you! Thank you so much for looking after her and seeing to it that she was alright while staying in December. I know we've never met but after hearing so much about you it almost feels as if you're our long lost daughter." She said, finally setting the little woman back down.

"This is Knives…I haven't had a chance to write about him yet. He's a bit shy and sometimes gets a little cranky but a big softy once you get to know him." Wolfwood and Vash tried their best not to snicker at the slight flush that spread over Knives'es face.

"It's nice to meet you." He said politely, offering his hand. Millie's father smiled warmly and took it. Then he paused and turned Knives'es hand over, exposing the scar.

"Boy, what is this? What in the world would compel you to do something like this? I have half a mind to put you over my knee right now." He scolded sharply.

"Uhh…" Knives said, at a complete loss. The best friends began to snicker fiercely.

"Didn't your mother teach you any better than this?"

"Well yes…but I didn't listen. I know better now though."

"…Alright then…but we're having a talk later…" The larger man threatened, and Knives believed him.

"Yes sir."

"I told you he was a softy!" Millie giggled. "And wouldn't you know…he's Mr. Vash'es brother."

"Vash the Stampede?" The brother Adam asked hesitantly. The snickers stopped immediately. There was a tense moment of hesitation while they waited to see how the Thompsons would react to this. He really outta go under a pseudonym, Vash nervously thought. But then again, he doubted that Millie would remember to use it.

"Well it's nice to meet you too son!" The mother said warmly.

"_Huh_?"

"Millie has told us so much about you. I had hoped that we would get a chance to meet you. Anybody that Millie trusts is always welcome in this family. That girl has always had a sixth sense about people." She told him. And much to his amusement and relief, they all welcomed him as if it were nothing.

"And this…" Millie said proudly, taking his hand. "Is Nic. And he's asked me to marry him!" Everyone was stunned for a moment then broke out into an excited cheer. Wolfwood didn't quite know how to respond except to sheepishly smile while he was bombarded with questions and nearly literally passed around for everyone to see. Normally, he's never had a problem finding something to say, but he found that he was absolutely speechless in front of this family. The last thing he needed was for his big mouth to ruin everything. And have these very big people beat him senseless.

"Well let's not just stand out here in the sun!" Her mother said delightedly. "I'm sure you dears are tired and hungry, let's go get you all cleaned up and fed." She told them and would not take no for an answer. Despite polite protests she headed them all back towards the house.

"Hold on there son…" Her father said, placing a hand on Wolfwood's shoulder. He stroked his beard thoughtfully. "We're gonna have ourselves a talk." Her five brothers nodded in agreement.

After a quick washing up they were just settling down to eat whenever Wolfwood and the rest of the family came back inside. Notably pale and shaking slightly, Wolfwood took a seat beside of Vash.

"What did they say to you?" Vash whispered to him, slightly worried.

"I've been around murders and trained killers my entire life…I've been threatened in every imaginable way possible…but yet I've never…" He trailed off, and desperately began to fish for something to chew on. Vash looked over to the men of the family. They looked happy enough; Wolfwood must have passed whatever test that they put him through. But damn…

Everyone soon found out that Millie's family was exactly like her. And not just in size and appearance either. They had the same unshakable good nature and acceptance of others that defined her. Rarely had they ever had such a warm reception. They were given all that they needed and more. And they were peppered with questions. The family did their best to avoid questions that their guests would be uncomfortable with (especially those with the most to hide) and took no offence at not being told with the questions that they were uncomfortable answering.

The four missing siblings, they soon learned through the family stories, had already been married and had either moved to the city or had taken to wandering to hunt down their fate. Being the youngest, everyone had been really surprised when Millie had also announced that she was moving to the city to work. At that time the family was having some financial trouble so she had took it upon herself to go hunt out some extra income. Since then things have worked out for the Thompsons partially due to her help. It was a story that caused Millie to blush furiously.

And the blushing didn't stop when the questions soon turned to her and Wolfwood. They wanted to know everything that she had covered in her letters and what had been going on ever since her writing had stopped. But more than anything her parents wanted to know when were they getting married and if they wanted kids. Millie laughed and told them that they already planed on having sextuplets. Wolfwood laughed along with the old joke but blanched when he was told that multiple births like that were not uncommon in the Thompson line.

Later that evening when it was time to settle down (and the Thompsons went to bed early) they were given their rooms with the promise that there would be more time for getting to know each other tomorrow. Wolfwood was given Jake and Ricky's old room (which Adam mischievously insisted on staying with him for the night, to his concern and dismay). Millie took her old room. Meryl was given Clara's old room. And Knives and Vash were put together in a room. Whenever Vash tried to protest saying that he would rather stay with Meryl he was given a firm and through scolding. He was told that, while engaged, they were not married and famous outlaw or not he was going to obey the rules of this household or else sleep in the stables. He retreated to his room with his tail between his legs.

"You know Vash…" Knives began from up on the top bunk later that night, relieved to have a bed big enough to suit him for once. "With the way these people are…and at the rate they breed, there might be peace for humanity yet." Vash just laughed in agreement.

-L&P-

A few days after their arrival things had settled into a happy (and thankfully slow) routine. It took no time at all for the two groups to get accustomed to one another. Soon they all were joking and behaving as if they had known each other their entire lives. Even the normally antisocial Knives had completely relaxed around the Thompsons. For those who had most of their lives wandering, it felt like home.

Wanting to earn their stay, they were each given little tasks to do throughout the day. The Thompsons didn't want to give them chores but they knew that a job helped pass the time and that it was a great way to get to know one another better. One this particular morning it was just Wolfwood and Mr. Thompson tilling out in the fields, working together and getting to know one another better.

"So…Nicholas, tell me a little more about yourself." He began almost casually, but Wolfwood could see right through it. He was really saying 'are you good enough for my daughter?'.

"Well Mr. Thompson I…"

"Please…just call me Dad."

"Ok…uhh Dad…Well…" Wolfwood was uncertain about how he should answer the man. He didn't want to screw things up with Millie's parents. But if they were anything like her then they would accept him for who he was. He decided to answer honestly. "I don't have a family of my own. I was abandoned as an infant. I was shuttled from orphanage to foster parents and back again. No one really seemed to want me. As a result I pretty much ended up raising myself. I know that I haven't always done a great job at it…" Wolfwood said regretfully, looking back into his past deeds. 'Dad' looked at him with mixed emotions. "I admit that I have racked up my share of sin, but I have long ago abandoned that road. I'm fighting every day to become the man I know I should be. I didn't think it was possible but it was your daughter that made me see what I truly could be." Mr. Thompson smiled to himself.

"Millie has always had her own brand of magic when it comes to things like that. For instance, once back when she was twelve, one of our neighbors gave us a thomas. For free. He just couldn't manage the thing. A wilder thomas you'll never see. After a few weeks of trying to manage it ourselves we were about to give it up as well, but Millie insisted that she give it a try. And you know what? In _three_ days, just three, she had that thing as tame as a kitten. I kid you not." He finished with a laugh. Wolfwood joined him.

"Yeah, I can see it." He smiled picturing her with the animal, and it tamely eating out of her hand. They tilled in silence for a while after that. As the sun rose and the heat grew, they quickly abandoned their shirts. The elder Thomson paused when he saw Wolfwood's bullet scared torso. Wolfwood noticed his stare and the questions lurking behind it.

"Like I said…I haven't had the…_gentlest_ of lives, but I swear that side of me is gone. Please believe me sir, I would never allow any harm to come to your daughter. I would sooner die first. I suppose that's one good thing about my rough past. If the need ever does arise…I am well trained to take care of her."

"You don't have to keep worrying about it son…I'm not going to hold your past against ya. You say you're a changed man, and I believe you. Millie says you're a man of honor, and I trust her. I have no doubt that you can take care of her, I just want to know how you plan on providing for her…And my grandchildren." He added as an afterthought. It wasn't said as a probability, it was fact. Wolfwood chuckled at the man, and let out a sigh of relief.

"Well I'm not restricted to one particular field. I have experience in all kinds of trades. Uh, for instance I'm a fairly decent mechanic."

"Umhmm, good."

"I can do whatever job needs to be done, and for her I will. But honestly what I had really wanted to do was continue on with my church and orphanage over in Gloria, if you've heard of it. I'm its founder." The older man stopped and looked at him, completely serious now.

"You're over from Gloria you say? Tell me…when was the last time you've been home then son?"

"To tell the truth I've been away from it longer than I like. I've had some important business to take care of. Come to think of it I don't think I've ever been away from home for so long, but thankfully that's just winding up. Ever since we got here I've been looking forward to going back."

"Then I hate to be the one to tell you that you're gonna be disappointed." Dad told him.

"What do you mean?" Wolfwood asked him, all lightheartedness aside. And uncomfortable weight seemed to settle on his chest with those ominous words.

"Gloria has been abandoned for about half a year now. Everyone's gone. It's a ghost town."

"What?...Why?" Wolfwood asked, completely shocked. He suddenly felt ill.

"The water supply dried up. Everyone was forced to move on."

"And my children?" He desperately asked.

"Most were taken along with the town's people but a few of them were adopted by those here."

"Tell me who. Where are they?" Wolfwood demanded, abandoning the farming tool and pulling on his shirt. Mr. Thompson gave him the information and watched as Wolfwood ran off without a word or a look back, never knowing that his approval was raising high in his eyes.

-L&P-

He hesitantly and uncomfortably knocked on the door of the house. Wolfwood was out of the farming areas of Cira and into the main area of town. He had received his share of strange looks as he rushed though town asking directions to this particular address, but he didn't care. People could look at him however they wanted, all he wanted was to check up on his children. The precious few that were still within his reach that is.

He felt a pang of guilt for not being there for them. Had they missed him whenever they were being divided up and separated forever? Had they seen his absence as a betrayal or abandonment? Passed on to someone else for the second and third times in their short lives? He had always tried to make sure that they all knew that whenever he left, it was only for a little while, and he had always promised to come back to them. But he hadn't this time…

The door opened up interrupting his miserable thoughts. The man glared at Wolfwood suspiciously. "Can I help you with something?" He asked.

"Um yes…I had been told that Nancy and Zane live here. Is that correct?"

"And who is asking?" The man's expression darkened even further with mistrust.

"My name is Nicolas D. Wolfwood. I was the head of the orphanage that they used to live at. I had been away on business and had just got the unfortunate news about Gloria. I just wanted to check up on them and see how they were doing."

"Who is it dear?" A woman's voice called out from inside.

"Excuse me for a moment." The man coldly told him then closed the door on him. Wolfwood sighed in exasperation. He couldn't really blame the man. He would get suspicious too if a somewhat rough stranger appeared out of nowhere, still covered in dirt from farming, shirt on crooked, and started asking about _his_ kids. But still, the guy coulda offered him a seat or something. Or a drink.

Abruptly the door opened again and two ten year old tornados rushed out and latched onto his legs, nearly knocking him over.

"Wolfwood!" The children screamed out simultaneously.

"Where have you been?"

"We've really missed you!"

"I've lost a tooth, see?"

"So I look any taller to you?"

"Did you see our new house?"

"Why were you gone so long?"

"Whoa, whoa…one question at a time…" Wolfwood laughed. He ruffled Zane's shaggy hair and kissed Nancy on the forehead. "I can't believe how much you two have grown since I've been gone! What have these people been feeding you?" He asked the children, with a wink to the couple standing in the doorway. The man's expression had softened once he had seen the joyous reaction of the children. Clearly he was devoted to them and very protective. Good. And the woman smiled gently at the three.

"And where have you been Wolfwood?" Zane demanded kicking him in the shin (although not very hard). "Everyone had to leave the orphanage...all the others…"

"Yeah!" Nancy jumped in. "We tried our best to tell them that we had to wait for you to come back. If you got back and we were all missing you would be so worried…Where were you?" She asked him sadly. Wolfwood felt his throat constrict painfully at the question. He got down on his knees and took them both up into a long hug.

"I can't even begin to tell you two how sorry I am for not being there for you all. I was off trying to earn some more money for the church."

"Like your other trips?"

"Exactly sweetheart. But this time it was a lot harder than I expected it to be. I am so sorry I took so long. And that I wasn't there for you all. Please don't think I abandoned you all…"

"Please don't cry Wolfy…Nobody thought that, we all know that you loved us. We were just worried that you would be scared when you didn't find us…its ok…"

"I was scared…" Wolfwood said releasing them and wiped clear his eyes. "I didn't know what happened to you all. Or if anybody was there to take care of you. _Especially_ if there was anyone to take care of you."

"Its ok now Wolfy…" Nancy said giving him a light kiss on the cheek, giggling when his scruff ticked her chin. "It's sad that we're not together anymore but we all got families now! Isn't that great! And Zane and me got lucky because we got the very best mommy and daddy out of the bunch!" She said flashing her adopted parents a smile, obviously having them wrapped around her little finger. The couple leaned on one another and gave Wolfwood a reassuring smile. He nodded to them in silent gratitude.

"Heey! How did you find us anyway?" Zane demanded, crossing his little arms.

"I'm staying with the Thompsons right now. Mr. Thompson told me where to find you two. And guess what…while I was on my trip I met someone, his daughter, and now I'm gonna get married."

"To a _girl_?"

"_AWW_! I wanna go! Can I be the flower girl _please_?" Nancy said excitedly jumping up and down.

"You're marrying one of the Thompson girls? Lisa?" The woman asked him with great curiosity.

"No, Millie."

"_Oh_, Millie. She's been off in December for quiet some time now. Hey, I heard that she was on some kind of dangerous assignment. How's she doing?"

"Just fine ma'am. In fact, were in for the reunion coming up."

"Hey!" Nancy demanded, grabbing his chin and making him turn to her. "You never answered me. Can I be in the wedding?"

"We don't know when we're going to have it, but I'll tell Millie that you want to be in it and beg her pretty please to let you be the flower girl. Ok?"

"Pinky promise?"

"Promise. And once again…I'm sorry for not being there."

"But you're here now. So that makes it ok. Ok?"

"Ok." He softly said, fighting against the tears once more.

The children tried their best to convince him to stay over for dinner, but he had to refuse. He felt as if he had imposed on the nice couple long enough. But to satisfy the children he told them that, with their parents approval, they could come visit him over at the Thompsons later. They sulked and pouted but eventually gave in, but only if he promised to come visit them later.

Later Wolfwood slowly made his way back to the farmhouse lost in thought and more than a little heartbroken. His church…gone. He had put so much into that little sanctuary. He had nearly died for it on more than one occasion. And to find out that it had all been swept away from him. Even if he had been there he would have been helpless to change things.

Seeing Nancy and Zane was truly a blessing. He wasn't sure if he could have handled not being reassured by the children that they didn't think he left them. Wolfwood was still concerned and hurt over the loss of the others, but at least his heart had been comforted, if only a little.

Wolfwood looked up from his feet up to the house ahead. He wasn't really surprised to see a bunch of people standing outside waiting for him. As he drew near Millie was the first one to run up to meet him.

"I'm so sorry Nic! Dad told me what happened when you didn't come back with him. I'm so sorry about your church and all your kids. Did you get to see any of them that you went looking for? Are they alright?" She asked, near tears out of her concern for him. He didn't answer her at first, he just took her into his arms and held on for support.

"Yeah…I saw them. And there doing great. They have a good home now. I'm happy for them." He quietly told her. And while he truly was happy for them, it was all he could do to keep his voice from breaking.

"And how are you doing?" She asked him.

"I'll be ok. Maybe not right now…but I'll be ok…"

-L&P-

"You know you guys didn't have to come with me." Wolfwood said, stopping his thomas. He looked back at the other riders. Knives and Millie rode their own while Vash and Meryl shared a mount. Understanding his distress about the loss of his town, the Thompson family generously loaned them a few of their thomas'as so he can go see for himself and put his mind to rest.

"We know. But we also know that this is very hard for you and we want to be there for you. It's what friends are for." Vash told him. "But if going in is something you need to do alone we'll understand. All you have to do is say the word Wolfwood."

"…No. Thank you all…for coming. I had always wanted to show you guys my church, I just wish it had been under better circumstances." He sighed. Nobody knew what to say to him that might consol him so the remained quiet for the remainder of the trip.

This was their third day into the journey. Although Cira and Gloria were neighboring towns there were still a hundred isles of desert between the two. The majority of the trip had been spent in an uncomfortable silence. Even if he didn't show it they all knew that this was hitting Wolfwood hard. He had put so much of his life into this church and it was all over now. Such town abandonments were not uncommon. It was just one of the harsh facts of life in the desert.

The town was a very small one. It didn't even possess a plant. It was one of the increasingly common towns that relied on the recourses of the land for its survival. But that also meant that they were at the mercy of the land. Solemnly they entered the town of Gloria with Wolfwood in the lead. They passed by buildings, shops, and homes. Doors hung partially open, swaying back and forth in the wind. Birds flitted in and out of the open windows, using the fallen curtains for their nests. Aside from the structures, the sun and the sand had wiped away all signs of the former life of the town.

Wolfwood stopped and hopped off of his thomas. He tied the reigns to a pole and gave the beast a soft pat before walking to the familiar church before him. It was much larger than an ordinary church, being doubled as living quarters for nearly twenty children. He walked down to the housing section, and with a mournful sigh, stepped inside.

Despite his best efforts to provide for them, they never really had much in the way of possessions. So it was no surprise as he walked through the children's rooms that he found them completely bare. As he passed room after room, he quietly named off its former occupants. He still remembered every child he had ever taken in, recalling their faces perfectly as if they were standing right in front of him. He made sure to always remember, because once foster parents were found for them…it was more than likely he would never see them again. He understood the pain of mothers when their children finally leave them to find their own way in the world, because he had to say goodbye as well time and time again. And while he was happy that they found homes, that did not make it any less painful to let go of one of his own.

At the very last bedroom he paused. He spotted a little corner of paper sticking out of a dresser drawer. He slowly opened it up to reveal a crayon drawing of himself, a black cat, and the child he recognized as Susan. He stared at the little picture for some time before folding it up and slipping it into his pocket. The other four watched him sadly from the doorway. Wordlessly they stepped back and let him pass. He didn't look up at them as he walked on by.

Wolfwood stepped into the main area of the church. He looked up to the alter where a cross hung. Not a gun, not a deceptive weapon of destruction, but a true cross…a symbol of forgiveness and love. He walked up to the front of the church, his eyes lingering on the cross a moment longer then sat down at the piano. Wolfwood heard the others slowly enter in the congregational area, but he paid them no mind. After a brief moment of thought, he knew what he wanted to play. Slowly and softly music began to fill the abandoned church and to the others surprise and heartbreak, Wolfwood began to sing as well.

"Amazing grace, how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me. I once was lost but now I'm found, was blind but now I see. T'was grace that taught my heart to fear and t'was grace my fears relieved. How precious did that grace appear the hour I first believed. Through many toils trials and snares we have already come. T'was grace that kept me safe thus far and grace will lead me home." Wolfwood softly hummed the last stanza then left the last note to slowly fade into silence.

-L&P-

Later on that evening he sat on the steps of the church, Millie sitting by his side. The others had gone to scout out decent places for them to stay the night. Tomorrow morning, he would say goodbye to this home forever. Wolfwood looked over to the downhearted woman by his side, and smiled slightly. Just because this place was lost, it didn't mean that he would never have a home again. Wherever she was, he wanted to be, and it would be home.

"I had really hoped that you would get to meet my children. You're so good with kids, I'm sure they would have loved you." He told her, taking her hand.

"Thank you Nic. That's sweet of you to say. I had really wanted to see them too…" Millie said sadly, looking down at their interlaced fingers.

"And Sister Louise and Sister Kathleen, the two that watched over things while I was gone, would have liked you too. You know…ever since I asked you to marry me, I had always pictured us getting married here in my church."

"We still can Nic. It wouldn't be all that hard to…"

"Nah…its ok hon. This town's time has passed on, and I don't want to get hung up over the past. I want to focus on the future."

"That's good. You know, I'm really proud of you Nic for being so strong about this. Most people would be devastated."

"Don't get me wrong, I'm plenty upset about it, but finally all my children have homes. Although I just wish it hadn't taken a tragedy to open people's hearts."

"Sometimes that's what it takes." Millie said giving the back of his hand a quick peck.

"True." Wolfwood conceded.

"You may have lost this church but we can always build a new orphanage…together." She told him, giving him a smile that always seemed to melt away all his concern and troubles. He loved that smile. It was his smile. "And I know, if you want we can call it Gloria too. You know…like in respect for this place…"

"You know Millie, we never did answer your parents."

"Huh? About what dear?"

"About when we're getting married. I love your family. I know I may act a little…"

"Shy?"

"Well, yes…shy around them. But I've never really had a family to learn from. I don't quite know how to act."

"Don't worry. We'll teach you all about it." She laughed.

"I know you will. I truly am honored that they all accepted me so easily and openly. I really want to be a part of that. What I'm trying to say is…I will wait for us to get married as long as you need me to, but if you want…since all your family is coming soon…"

"Yes!" She tacked him in a hug. He tried to keep his balance and return the embrace but they ended up tumbling halfway down the steps in each others arms. "Next week…at the reunion…then?" She asked him, eyes lighting up in joy.

"Yeah, with all our family there, both of them." He told her. She squealed with joy then smothered him in kisses.

-L&P-

The group soon found out that the Thompson family reunion was something akin to a town festival. The hotel had been booked for them well in advance to house the majority of them. Others had spouses belonging to other families in the area so they lodged with them. And others still just stayed with friends of the family. It turned out that Millie had seven uncles and aunts, who had a slew of their own children, who had children as well. To Vash it seemed that Knives'es little joke was well on its way to becoming a reality. There were easily eighty people there, if not more. Personally he was becoming a little tense being introduced to so many people, to him it was just begging for trouble. He was also concerned about how Knives was handling such a large crowd, but he was pleasantly surprised that Knives was rather at ease amongst the good-natured people. Poor Wolfwood was another story all together.

He had been told that Millie had a large family, but he was completely unprepared for a gathering like this. For someone who had been raised by a cold man with little to say, such a widespread acceptance and familiarity was somewhat of a shock to him. He was wearing himself out trying to remember them all, make a good impression, answer questions from all sides, and just generally be congratulated. During the course of the week, Vash was thankful on more than one occasion that Meryl had no siblings or family other than her parents. Although from what he's heard of the man, he dreaded the day he met her father.

Whenever they had retuned from their trip to Gloria and had told Millie's family the news, everyone was completely overjoyed. During their absence the rest of the siblings had showed up so introductions (and threats) had to be made all over again. After that, the family immediately jumped on the planning for Saturday.

Once again Wolfwood was completely amazed at this family's total acceptance of him. They had only known him for a few days and they were prepared to take him in permanently as one of his own. He wished that there were more people such as these in the world.

As far as weddings went, this one would be rather simple. Neither of them really wanted anything big or fancy so the planning was finished rather quickly. Instead of spending money on a new dress, Millie was perfectly happy to wear Jenny's dress from her wedding. In fact it seemed to amuse Millie to no end that because she was the youngest, that whenever Lisa got married that the dress would technically be a 'hand me up'. Everyone just shook their heads at her sense of humor.

To Wolfwood, it seemed that the week had forgotten a few days because the next thing he knew…it was Saturday. And with the clock counting down an hour until it was time, he found himself increasingly nervous and perhaps a little nauseous.

"I hate new shirts…They're always stiff and itchy." Vash said picking at the collar of his shirt for the thousandth time since putting it on. He and Wolfwood were in one of the auxiliary rooms of the church doing last minuet preparations before it was time. "Why couldn't they make them more comfortable?"

"For heavens sake needle noggin…will you shut up? I have enough on my mind without haven't to hear you whine." Wolfwood snapped at him, trying to smooth out his own shirt. "What time is it now?"

"Five minuets since you asked last time." Vash told him, slightly amused. "You're not _nervous_ are you?"

"No I'm not!"

"Ok then…what are you forgetting?"

"What? I'm forgetting…Aw Shit, what _am_ I forgetting!" Wolfwood said, beginning to panic. Lets see…he remembered to shave, he managed to get properly dressed after three tries, his best man properly dressed after five, he thought he had everything. Then what was it! "What am I forgetting? So help me Vash if you don't help me out…" Vash just laughed at the threat.

"You're forgetting to relax." Vash said, coming up and fixing his collar. "You really need to chill Wolfwood. You're too worked up. I know that this is a big day and all but if you keep it up you're gonna have yourself a heart attack before you even get out there."

"That's easy for you to say, you're not the one getting married. All you have to do is stand there." Wolfwood sighed, allowing himself to be adjusted.

"Not true…I gotta walk up there don't I?" Wolfwood gave him a look. "Listen…you've already made up your mind about this, right?"

"Right."

"You love her and nothing in this world is gonna change that, right?"

"Right." Wolfwood said with a little more conviction.

"Then why are you so nervous about this? You never back down from anything! So why in the world are you shying away from letting everyone know that you love her and that there's nothing they can say or do about it?"

"You know you're right. You're right dammit! I'm gonna go out there and show them all!" He said turning around and marching right out the door.

"Wait! Not yet Wolfwood!" Vash said chasing after him. "You forgot your shoes!"

-L&P-

There was a knock on the door. Having finished getting ready the fastest (due to the fact that her hair took almost no time to do), Meryl was the only one free to go answer it. She opened the door and had to look up to see the persons face.

"What do you need Vash?" She asked him a moment later, noting that he was wearing new dress clothes instead of his usual sand blasted stuff. And she was liking what she saw.

"Huh? What?" He asked her, finally looking up from her dress to look her in the eye. Apparently she wasn't the only one noticing the change.

"I'm up here you perv, what do you want?" She laughed.

"Want? Oh! Right! Have you seen Wolfwood?"

"You lost him! And why are you holding a pair of shoes?"

"Long story. I'll tell you later, I gotta go hunt him down now." He leaned down and gave her a quick kiss. "You look beautiful." He told her, then left. She closed the door and went and sat down, flushing happily to herself.

"Who was that Meryl?" Millie asked as her mother finished with the last lock of her hair.

"Vash."

"And what did he want?"

"Want? Oh! It was something about shoes or something…um…I see that you're all ready now. Well turn around and let me take a look at you!" Millie obliged, giggling happily. This made her mother begin to cry even harder.

"Aww Mom…don't cry…" She said hugging her.

"I c-can't help i-it! My b-baby's all gr-grown up now!"

"You don't look the least bit nervous Millie." Meryl commented. "Aren't you even the tiniest bit anxious?"

"No. Why? Should I be?" Millie asked, genuinely confused. Meryl shook her head and smiled. That girl was truly unique.

"No. I suppose not." There was another knock on the door. Meryl was the first one over to answer but she was disappointed when it was only Mr. Thompson.

"Is everyone decent? Can I come in?" He asked.

"Come on in Dad. We're all ready in here." Mille called out to him. He stepped inside and smiled at his daughter a long moment before speaking.

"You look just as beautiful as your mother the day we got married."

"Aww thank you…That's so sweet of you to say."

"Will you other ladies excuse us for a moment? Everything is just about ready, but I would like a quick word with my daughter first." Meryl and Millie's mother left and soon it was just them two in the room.

"Yes?" Mille expectantly asked him.

"I…I just wanted to tell you that I am very happy for you. I've only known Nicholas for a short while but I already think very highly of him. I believe that he is a good man and that you two suit one another perfectly. But it's not about what I think, or anybody else for that matter. It's about what you think. Is this who you truly want?"

"Yes." She stated confidently. "I'm absolutely sure. I've been sure for a long time now."

"Good girl." He said kissing her on the forehead. "That's all I wanted to know. So…are you ready?" He asked, offering his arm.

"Yes!" She said, taking it.

Everyone got in their places and it was finally time. Wolfwood stood up at the alter doing his best not to fidget nervously. The local minister smiled at him kindly then turned to look at the two next in the procession. The best man and maid of honor were Vash and Meryl naturally. They walked up arm in arm, whispering to one another and smiling the whole while. Vash took his place by Wolfwood while Meryl stood on the opposite side.

Millie's nice, little Sandra, had originally been planned to be the flower girl, but to fulfill his promise to Nancy they had let them both come. Nancy skipped up the isle like she owned the place but Sandra got halfway up before abandoning her basket and seeking out her mother. Next came an utterly uninterested nephew as ring bearer, then it was finally Millie's turn.

Escorted up by her father who was doing his darndest not to cry, she took her place across from Wolfwood and smiled at him.

"Dearly beloved…" The minister began in his deep booming voice. He was interrupted, however, before he could continue any further by the groom promptly fainting. Everyone stared at him in stunned silence for a few moments. Way in the back of the church hard laughter began to ring out from a single source. Knives was laughing so hard he was nearly doubled over. Everyone in the building turned to glare at him. He brokenly forced out an apology between laughs and quickly excused himself.

-L&P-

"I can't believe I actually did that…" Wolfwood moaned, hiding his face in his hands. "How humiliating…" They were outside now in one of the unused fields of the season. Having done wedding/reunions before, the Thompsons had combined the reception with the main gathering of the reunion into one big celebration.

The five of them were sitting at a table to themselves, enjoying their meal. Only now, an hour after the reception had begun had the well wishers and those expressing concern for the young man's health had eased. At the wedding they had soon managed to revive Wolfwood and carry out the rest of the ceremony. Other than his fainting everything had been carried out smoothly and happily.

"It's not that bad dear…When my big big sister got married our mom had a breakdown in front of everybody. She chased poor David out with her shoe. But she's calmed down a lot since then, now that she's accepting that her babies are growing up. So you fainting is not the worst that's happened at a Thompson wedding."

"I guess it's not that bad…but did you have to laugh at me?" Wolfwood sharply asked Knives. Knives, in the middle of a mouthful, just shrugged.

"…What? Am I the only one that struck as funny? You, with your background and training, having gone up against the scourge of humanity…sometimes alone I might add…actually fainting. I was under the impression that weddings were supposed to be happy occasions. Not nerve wracking ones."

"It's a little bit of both!" Millie told him. "But it's mostly happy. You'll understand whenever you get married Knives!"

"Funny." He said blandly, and then turned back to his food.

"Oh common, it could happen." Vash teased him. "You could fall in _love_ one day. _Awww_…"

"Drop it _now_." Knives said harshly, in a tone that left no room for argument. They were all taken aback by his sudden irate mood and sat uncomfortably in silence of its wake. Before anybody could think of anything to remedy the tense situation, they were unexpectedly interrupted.

Gunfire suddenly filled the air. The crowd began to scream in fear and duck down for safety. Being well experienced in this sort of situation, the little group flipped up the table and quickly took shelter behind it. Being the only ones armed at the moment, the brothers instantly drew their weapons.

"Where's it coming from?" Wolfwood demanded, enraged that someone would _dare_ do something like this and threaten this family. He used himself to shield the girls the best he could.

"From over there." Knives said darkly. "That approaching vehicle…"

The gunfire had ceased. The noise that arose now over the terrified mutterings of the crowd was the roar of a rapidly approaching vehicle. After plowing over a table the car came to a stop. Several unsavory looking men climbed out, all armed, and one stood up on the hood of the car.

"May I have your attention everyone!" He announced smugly. "I have it on very good information that you people currently have in your midst the infamous outlaw the Humanoid Typhoon! Now I'm willing to be generous to you all…you hand him over…and I _won't_ mow down your cozy little family reunion here…" He threatened ominously, angling the gun down at the crowd. Vash wordlessly handed his gun over to his brother. "You got TEN seconds!" The hunter announced.

"_What_ are you _doing_?" Knives whispered fiercely, taking the gun.

"Giving them what they want. Cover me." Vash whispered back and stood up, hands in the air.

"Well _well_…" The leader said, hopping down from the hood of the car. "Giving up without a fight? I expected more from you."

"These people have nothing to do with this." Vash said, putting some distance between himself and the upturned table just in case. "Just leave them alone. They don't deserve to die."

"You should be more worried about yourself. But since you're so hung up on this group you should be happy to know that only one is going to die today…" The man said then took aim.

In several gunshots only half a second later, the men were staring stupidly down at their empty hands. One of the quicker witted of the lot realized what was going on and made a dive for his weapon. Another round kicked it away from his fingers before he even came close.

"Wanna try that again? Go ahead…test me." Knives challenged, standing up with both guns leveled at him. Vash smirked while keeping his attention trained on the other three, ready to take action if they tried something. The bounty hunters looked as if they were truly considering making a move but eventually held their hands up in defeat. They could have been killed before this thing even began, and they weren't about to press their luck. Although…a quick finish by a bullet was beginning to look tempting, they thought with a quick look around. Dozens of _very_ angry faces were turned in their direction.

The men tried to make a run for it but they were surrounded on all sides. The men had ruined the reunion, ruined the reception, and threatened their own…and that was something that the Thompsons took very seriously. Wolfwood felt just a _little_ guilty for enjoying the show, but he was sure that God would forgive him for it.

Despite their anger, the people had mercy on the four men and spared their lives. The sheriff took the men into custody, but in his opinion his work had already been done for him. Once these guys were able to take off, Cira would never hear from them again. That, he was willing to bet on.

"I can't even being to say how sorry I am for all of this you guys…" Vash sadly told Wolfwood, Millie, and her parents later on once the men had been removed and everything had settled down once more. "They ruined everything just because of me. This is all my fault…" Wolfwood smacked him upside his head.

"It is _not_ your fault and if I catch you sulking about it I'll noogie you so hard you'll have a bald spot, hear me?" Wolfwood scolded, but Vash wasn't convinced.

"My son here's right." Mr. Thompson said wrapping an arm around Wolfwood's shoulders, who looked slightly embarrassed and proud at the same time. "In fact I wanna thank you for sticking up for all of us. They coulda really hurt somebody."

"You're welcome, but now people know where I am. I'll just end up drawing more trouble and I don't want to put you people in any more danger than I already have. We'll have to go now, or _I_ have to anyway…" This time it was Millie's turn to smack him.

"You had better not be thinking what I think you're thinking mister!" She scolded in the most severe voice as she could muster. "If you leave then we're all coming too!"

"Meryl and Knives yes, but you two don't have to you know…Not anymore…You can stay here with your family and…" Wolfwood stopped him by wrapping an arm around his shoulder.

"Let's go take a walk, huh?" He suggested, smiling in a way that was more threatening than friendly.

"What if I don't wanna?" Vash asked, trying to back away. He somehow could sense pain in his imminent future. He was just being honest and thinking about what was best for the others. Why did everyone have to get violent with him for it? He just didn't get it.

"You misunderstand me spiky, it wasn't a request." He said pulling him away. Everyone else shook their heads sadly. And did so even more when the pathetic cries for help reached them.

After it was indisputably settled that Wolfwood and Millie were coming along no matter what, goodbyes and preparations for travel were made before any more ambushes could be made. They were repeatedly told that they could come back anytime, preparations were already being made for the reunion next year and that they expected them all there, and both Millie and Wolfwood were firmly warned of the consequences of what would happen if they didn't write. And they were dire…

To their surprise, it was the sheriff that suggested that the group take the hunters vehicle for themselves. He said that the poor fellers were not going to be able to use it for a while and if they did get it back they would more than likely only hunt out trouble with it. Just before the group hit the road Lisa and Mikey, snickering the whole time, painted 'just married' on the trunk and tied several old salmon cans on strings to the rusted back bumper, causing a little back cat to chase after them for nearly a mile down the road.


	16. Decision

**A/N:** This chapter is a little rougher and darker compared to the last chapter, but we all knew that their lucky streak couldn't last forever. On a lighter note I would like to give a little shout-out to BleachedBlueCat210 to all the reviews, they're really encouraging for a little feedback starved author such as myself…so thanks! :D

**Chapter Sixteen:**

**Decision**

Vash sat up and swung his legs over the bed with a deep sigh. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't seem to get to sleep. He hadn't been able to sleep well for the past few nights and it was beginning to wear him down. Vash ran a hand over his face, and glanced over at Meryl. She was sleeping peacefully, tangled up in the sheets. He envied her ability to rest so completely. But the truth behind his insomnia was…he didn't feel at ease enough to sleep.

Something had been nagging at him in the back of his mind ever since their time at Cira. He wasn't sure if it was the threat of bounty hunters after his presence had been so openly broadcasted, if he was picking up the feeling of unease from Knives, or it was some unknown cause. But whatever it was it had him edgy and restless.

They had been roaming about for the past few weeks. For the most part they had remained in the December region. They didn't have any place they needed to be and were free just to take their time to mill about in town after town. Perhaps it was just his drifter lifestyle but Vash felt that it was high time that they leave this area behind.

He quietly got up and pulled some clothes on. Hopefully someone else in the hotel was awake that he could talk to, perhaps Knives, but he didn't want to wake Meryl. She was just sleeping too peacefully, that and he didn't want to worry her. He grabbed the room keys and remembered to lock the door behind him.

He silently padded down the hallway to room sixteen where Knives was staying. Vash knocked softly at first. If Knives was already awake then he would hear it, but if he was asleep than it shouldn't disturb him. He waited a few moments but there was no reply. Vash knocked again but still nothing. Downhearted, he turned away from the door, but paused after a step. He really needed someone to talk to. It may seem a little selfish, but he hoped that his brother would understand.

"Knives?" He called out, this time knocking firmly on the door. But to his confusion there was still no answer. Frowning, Vash tested out the door knob and the door swung open with a slight creek. It wasn't like him to leave his door unlocked, especially as cautious as he was. "Knives?" He called out again stepping inside. Vash sighed sadly at what he saw.

This made it the third time that he's caught his brother like this, and it kept getting sadder every time. Closing the door behind him, Vash walked over to where Knives lay and knelt down beside of him. He looked at him for a long moment before pulling the empty bottle out of his slack grip. Vash set it aside then turned to his brother.

As gently as he could, Vash picked him up off the floor and placed him down on the bed, rolling him on his side. Knives muttered something in his sleep then let out a long sigh. Vash sat down on the edge of the bed and watched him as he slept.

He wasn't entirely sure when Knives had begun drinking, he always did such a good job at hiding it. Perhaps that little display at that bar weeks ago was part of a ruse to get them to think that he had never before drank and detested alcohol. Maybe it had been what had tipped the scale. Whichever it was, Vash didn't know, and he probably wouldn't have known at all if he had not caught Knives passed out on an occasion very like this one and had taken care of him.

Knives had never said anything about it, he had just acted as if nothing had ever happened and Vash had played along. He hadn't confronted Knives about it…and he probably never would, Vash thought with a sigh. He understood why he did it…to escape from everything he had done. Knives had repented, and they all had forgiven him, but that didn't mean that the pain was gone. It didn't mean that the knowledge of what he had done was gone.

Vash had taken to heavy drinking himself during several points in his life, but thankfully he had soon snapped out of it. Whether or not Knives would overcome this he didn't know. But it didn't feel right to confront him about what little comfort and escape from the pain that he could manage.

After making sure that Knives was covered and comfortable, Vash got up to leave. He stooped briefly to set the bottle in the trash can. At least he's sleeping soundly now instead of having a nightmare, Vash thought sadly with one last look back. He locked the door behind him and closed it quietly. Suddenly his insomnia didn't seem that important.

He slipped back into his room, took one look at the comfortable bed mocking him and went and sat by the window instead. For an hour or so he just sat staring up at the moon and the sky, daydreaming and getting lost in memories. Gradually, he began to get drowsy. Just when he was about to crawl back in bed, the feeling of unease came back. And with it came the feeling of being watched.

He looked down to check the street and started slightly whenever he saw someone standing out there. They were sheltered in the shadows of the building, but he could see the individual well enough to know that they were staring up at him. Once the stranger realized that they had been spotted, they turned and disappeared into the night.

-L&P-

"Hey…Wake up." A sweet voice whispered in his ear, followed by a quick kiss to his temple. Vash sat up in the chair, blinking in confusion. He had been watching out the window for the stranger on the street again, he closed his eyes for just a moment, and now Meryl was looking down at him trying not to laugh at him.

"Muuh? What?" He muttered, rubbing his eyes.

"Did you sleep in that chair all night or did you get up really early?" She asked, crossing her arms taking on a mock scolding tone.

"Would you hit me if I told you all night?" He asked sheepishly. She sighed and shook her head.

"Why?"

"I just couldn't sleep, that's all. Or at least I thought I couldn't…I guess I conked out anyway! Haaha!" He laughed, and then yawned a second later.

"Go on…get in bed. At least you can sleep for a little while longer. I'll take my time in the shower." She told him, straightening up his hair again where it had fallen. He didn't argue; that bed that had been mocking him earlier was now sweetly calling. He flopped down sideways on the bed and just lay there. Good enough, he thought. He heard her giggle at him then she went to go shower.

Ten minutes later he was on the very verge of getting back to sleep…and then someone at the door knocked. With an irritated scowl, he pulled himself up and went to go answer it. Maybe it was Knives. Maybe he was finally ready to talk to him after what had happened last night.

He groggily opened the door then immediately slammed it shut. But not before the stranger managed to fire off two rounds, one round catching him in the arm. Whoever it was had a silencer. The only sound of the shots were two _pfft_'s. Before Vash had a chance to reach for his own gun the stranger kicked in the door and took aim again. Vash barely managed to dodge the next round and snatched the strangers arm before the man could fire again.

They struggled briefly over the weapon before the stranger abandoned the struggle and drew a knife with his free hand. He brought the blade down hard but Vash quickly took hold of that arm as well. It was down to a fight now. They wrestled for the weapons, kicking, and trying to trip one another up. Whoever's hold broke first would be the loser. And there would be no second chances.

Vash felt sorry for what he had to do but the guy was out for his life and really left him no choice. He squeezed hard with his left hand, hard enough to crack the bones in the man's forearm. The man let out a hoarse scream and released his hold on the knife. Vash released his hold on the arm and quickly pried the gun out of the strangers hand before the man had time to react.

With a hard kick, the stranger broke free from him and slammed hard against the far wall near the door, holding his right arm close to his chest. It was bad timing for them to be separated because it was at this point Meryl, drawn by the man's scream, rushed out in a towel to see what was going on. Without missing a beat, the man snatched her in a choke hold with his good arm before she even had time to take in the scene around her.

"Stop! Stop it! Don't hurt her!"

"Drop the gun right now." The man said coldly, in a gravelly voice.

"Alright…I'm setting it down. Just don't hurt her." Vash pleaded, slowly setting the gun on the ground.

"Who are you and what do you want?" Meryl demanded. She had been startled at first but was quickly turning livid.

"Shut up!" The man shouted, holding tighter. "My business is with him!"

"Then please let her go…What do you want with me?" Vash asked him quietly, all the while looking for a clear shot.

"All I want is revenge. Pure and sweet." The stranger said with a wicked smile.

"Revenge for what?"

"Nothing much…just for taking everything I had and everything that was coming to me away…Nothing more." He said, nonchalantly. His eyes screamed murder, but his demeanor was almost relaxed. This attack hadn't been made in the fit of passion. It had been planned, anticipated.

"The man out on the street last night. It was you." Vash realized.

"Nathanial Mason, at your service." The man said in mock courtesy. "Former leader of the Augusta underground crime ring of nearly a decade. And I have come to get my revenge on you for taking away my future."

"Augusta?"

"Yes. I'll admit that I lost you for a while Vash, but after that little escapade in January I was back on your trail. And here it ends."

"You're crazy." Meryl snapped at him, gripping her towel harder in anger. "You've got the wrong person."

"Oh really? And who, pray tell, is he little lady?" Nathanial asked, never taking his eyes off of his opponent, and using her as a shield. The mark of a professional.

"Saverem. Richard Saverem." Vash said angrily, trying to pull enough of the man's attention onto himself to where she could break free. "And I don't appreciate being needlessly attacked for something I didn't do!"

"Aha…Don't try to pull that one on me." Nathanial laughed. "I was there. I remember seeing you and I distinctly remember that gun over there. I hear from my source over at the feds that there is special technology hidden in that gun…" He said glancing over to the silver revolver, the awe coming through in his cold voice. It was still in its holster draped over the back of the chair. That sideways glance was all Vash needed to make his move…but Meryl beat him to it.

Abandoning her grip on the towel, she grabbed the man's broken arm and twisted hard, at the same time swiping his feet out from under him. Nathanial howled out in pain as he fell, pushing Meryl away from himself. She leapt away with a parting kick, and Vash freely took aim at the fallen man. Seeing that the situation was no longer in his favor, Nathanial snarled in rage and slowly got to his feet.

"Well? Are you going to kill me or are you waiting for me to beg for my life? If so, you've got another thing coming." He said defiantly, staring Vash directly in the eye.

"Nah…it's too early in the morning for my daily killing. I'm still sleepy, you know? So consider yourself lucky that you're only getting a warning this time, because if you threaten me…or her again…you won't be so lucky." Vash finished darkly. Nathanial looked at him for a moment, expecting some trickery, then ran from the room with one last look back of utter hatred.

"And there are better ways to make a living other than mob boss!" Vash called out to him as the man ran away.

"Hey…are you alright?" Meryl asked him, checking over his arm where he had been grazed.

"Forget that, are you ok?" He asked, worriedly looking her over then taking her in a tight embrace.

"I'm fine…Do you think he's really gone?"

"…Yeah. I think so. Guys like that are generally too narcissistic to put their lives on the line. That type usual gets others to do their dirty work. He probably only attacked because he thought that he would get the jump on me, not hash it out in a real fight. So yeah…I think he's gone."

"You know something Vash…you could pass off as a Richard." Meryl said, stepping back and studying him some.

"You really think so?"

"…Yeah…"

"Hmm…I'll think about it. But you know…since the door's broken down…You might want to get your towel now." He pointed out, and then laughed at her flustered embarrassment.

-L&P-

"You should have seen her! She was all like _hyaa_! And _whaaja_! And _chaa_! Total kung-fu on that guy! It was awesome!" Vash excitedly chattered on, demonstrating some martial arts moves in the air as the group walked down the street. Meryl blushed and tried to act nonchalant, although he could tell that she was pleased with the attention.

"Well now you know better than to piss her off." Knives said with a smirk. Vash'es amusement faded some with recalling how he had found Knives last night. He knew that he must have one hell of a hangover but he hid it well. Too well.

"Oh I know. I learned that the hard way a long time ago." Vash said empathetically, brushing aside the sad memory to ponder over later. "You know, for such a little thing she sure can hit hard, but it's was always amusing to see her firecracker side in full blast. Even if it does hurt."

"So is this usually with or without the towel?" Wolfwood asked with a touch of mischievousness.

"You did _not_ tell them that part!" Meryl demanded, hands on her hips.

"Well…uhh…" Vash weakly began. She balled up her fist and looked like she wanted to hit him. Her audience eagerly awaited her action. But instead of Vash, she turned and hit Wolfwood instead.

"What was that for?" He demanded, rubbing his arm. Vash was relived, while Millie and Knives found it hilarious.

"It's for being a pervert, that's why! And this…(_smack_) is for telling him about that in the first place!" She said, marching on ahead. Wolfwood smirked at Vash, who sourly stared back, rubbing his face.

"Well I say that for a job well done and love and peace defended once again we should all go celebrate with ice cream!" Millie announced, striking a victory pose.

"Ice cream?" Meryl asked, pausing.

"Does it have to be ice cream?" Knives asked, slightly annoyed. "Can't we get something else? I already have a headache, I don't need cold food to make it worse."

"Don't worry Knivesy! We can get pudding!" Millie said taking his arm and pulling him along.

"What did you just call me?"

"Knivesy. I think it's a cute nickname. Why? Don't you like it?" She asked him, slightly hurt. Wolfwood started to snicker.

"No. I'm a grown man, not an infant." He said, pulling his arm away.

"I'm partial to Knivesy-kins myself." Wolfwood threw in. How could he resist?

"You had better watch it Nicholas…While I may not kill you I can make your life a living hell." Knives threatened, partially in good humor partially dead serious.

"Alright you guys…" Vash tried to intervene. Knives looked like he was about to make some other remark but then paused, and took on a distant look. Almost as if he were listening to something. Vash was about to ask him what was wrong but then he paused as well. The sensation that washed over him was similar to that of being drenched with cold water. A sudden prickling fear and dread took hold of him, but the strange thing was…it wasn't his own. Then soon after it came the distant sensation of pain.

Knives, already sensitive from the hangover, fought against crying out while Vash clutched at his head, as the feeling of pain reached its peak. The others were at their sides in an instant, but it was hard to make out what they were saying. The words were drowned out by the physic waves sent out from the city's sole plant. As soon as it began, the pain and distant ache ceased.

"Are you alright?"

"What happened?"

"What's the matter with you two?"

"Please say something! Are you ok?" Meryl demanded, fearfully holding onto him.

"It's the plant." Knives said, recovering first. "Something's wrong with the plant." As if on cue the plant hanging above the city began to pulse and fluctuate. Everyone out on the streets stopped and began to chatter fearfully to one another, pointing towards the distressed plant.

"We have to go help it…You three get out of the city now!" Vash ordered, taking off at a run with Knives right at his side.

"We're not just going to abandon you two!" Wolfwood called out, preparing to follow.

"Do it _Now_!" Knives called back to him, and then the two rounded the corner and was gone.

-L&P-

"What was that Knives? I've never felt something like that from a plant before! What's wrong with it?" Vash demanded as they ran, recalling the cold sensation and deciding that he never wanted to feel it again.

"I'm not entirely certain!" Knives called back to him. "I'm completely inexperienced in this area of psychic communication. You're supposed to be teaching me, remember?"

"It's some kind of malfunction, but I have no idea what. Like I said, I haven't come across something like this before."

"I'll be able to discern for certain once we're inside the control room. What I would like to know is what is responsible for this…Plants don't malfunction on their own…" Knives told him angrily.

It was a little difficult to make their way towards the plant. As they ran to it, everyone else was determined to run away from it. That same feeling of unease that had been bothering Vash was back. Could the one responsible for this be the man from this morning? Surly Nathanial would not go so far as destroying an entire city just for the sake of killing him, would he? Vash didn't have all that long to ponder over the issue, because they soon arrived at the plant. Knives was about to rush on inside but Vash grabbed his arm and stopped him.

"What do you think you're doing?" Knives demanded, jerking his arm away. "We gotta get in there now! It can go at any minuet!"

"Just hold on a second Knives…" Vash said looking around him, wary. "I think that something's going on here…I think it's a trap."

"What?"

"Just wait here a moment…Let me go in first." Vash told him in a tone that left no room for discussion and went on. Knives rebelled at being told what to do, being accustomed to being the giving out the orders. But out of respect for his brothers judgment he waited at the corner.

Vash cautiously approached the building that housed the control center for the plant. As he suspected the lock had been broken and the door hung slightly open. He slowly pulled out his gun. Stepping into that dark hallway where somebody could be waiting to take off a shot was the last thing he wanted to do, but if the plant and the city was to be saved then he had no choice.

Stepping to the side he reached over and quickly pushed the door open. It hit with a bang on the wall but there was no other noise than that. He looked in quickly but saw nothing. Relaxing slightly he called Knives over.

"What the hell was that all about Vash? You're making me nervous just by watching you." Knives said as he ran over from his hiding space in the shadows of the building.

"Just suspicious I guess." Vash said hesitantly, still not entirely convinced that everything was clear.

"Well I guess you haven't survived this long without a degree of suspicion." Knives said, drawing his own gun and going on inside. Vash gave one last look around the street before following after him.

He was about to step through the doorway when a bullet flew by, so close that he felt the wind off of it, and ricocheted off of the metal doorway. He jumped back reflexively in surprise and in pain as the stray projectile hit him in the leg. And it was a good thing too because if he hadn't have moved the second bullet that had just been fired would have certainly been a kill shot. Vash turned and ran as well as he could for the shelter of the buildings, confusing the sniper that had just fired and hit the doorway right were he would have been had he tried to run inside.

Drawn by the gunfire, Knives turned and ran back towards the entrance but stopped short whenever he saw the third round strike the steel. He looked down to the splattering of blood, already being absorbed by the dry soil then looked to his brother making it to shelter in the shadows of a building. Knives watched in fear and growing rage as Vash sagged down to the ground and held his left leg in pain. Judging from the way that the last round had struck, he could fairly accurately where the sniper was. If he was quick enough…

Knives was about to make his move when Vash stopped him. "Don't Knives! Don't risk it!" Vash called to him in a warning.

"Like hell I'm not! That bastard shot you!"

"I'll be fine Knives! I can take care of it, just go save the plant!"

Knives hesitated. Vash was injured and out positioned; to leave him on his own could spell disaster. But the plant…if it died, they all died. Knives knew that he had no choice but to leave his brother alone, whatever the outcome may be. He knew it…and he hated it with a vengeance.

Vash watched as the conflicting emotions passed over Knives'es face. And then with one last pained look Knives disappeared in the darkness of the control center. Vash smiled to himself, it anyone could fix the plant it was Knives. He had faith in him so that was one less thing to worry about, now all his focus could be put toward his would-be assassin. But how exactly was he going to do that? He couldn't outrun him anymore, he couldn't look long enough to get a shot off. He was pinned down, and for all he knew the sniper was repositioning at this very moment to get a clear shot at him.

Vash painfully got to his feet…then had an idea. He pulled his glasses out of his pocket and slowly stuck them around the corner. Using the reflection off of the lens he scanned the tops of the buildings until he found what he was looking for…

Another round shot the glasses right out of his hand. Dammit, there went another pair, Vash thought sourly and acted quickly before the man could move. He turned the corner and fired in the time to took to blink. The man on the rooftop stood there in shock as the gun flew out of his hand off the side of the building and looked down as his target who had him in his sights. The man on the building had his right arm in a sling.

"Is that you Nathanial?" Vash called up to him. "Were you the one to tamper with the plant?"

"Damn straight." Nathanial called down to him. To Vash'es surprise he didn't sound angry or frightened. In fact it sounded as if they were old friends having casual conversation.

"If the plant was set to overload I would have figured you'd be well on your way out of here." Vash told him.

"Well I don't like to leave things finished. It's not very professional you know?"

"How did you know I would come to the plant rather than run?"

"Call it a hunch." Nathanial called down to him. "An…educated guess judging from your actions at Ineperil." Vash frowned. This man knew too much about him for his liking. And if he was willing to go to these lengths to stop him what would he try next in his pursuit of vengeance? This had to be stopped. Now. Apparently Nathanial was thinking along the same lines.

"Why don't you come up here so we can settle this like men? Save each other the run about and get it over with?"

"Like this morning? I have an idea of your way of settling things and it doesn't sound very fair to me."

"Ok…" Nathanial said nonchalantly, pulling something small out of his pocket. "If you don't want to join me I could always detonate the explosive that I planted in the control room…it's up to you really." Knives…Vash thought with dread eating at him. He had no choice.

"Fine." Vash said grimly, lowering his gun. "We'll do this your way." He fully expected some trickery or another as he approached the building. That Nathanial would throw down an explosive or run away where he could try and snipe again, but he remained standing on the edge watching him as Vash slowly and painfully approached.

Instinct screamed at him not to do this but Vash cautiously entered the building anyway and climbed up the stairs. But against every expectation he had, Nathanial didn't try anything and stood exactly where Vash had last seen him.

"You sure took your time in getting here." Nathanial said sarcastically.

"Well if you haven't noticed I'm injured here." Vash retorted, not wanting to be reminded of the searing pain in his leg.

"Well that wouldn't have been a problem if you would have just died without a fuss."

"Hey, you're the bad shot…it's your fault." Vash fussed, and then in all seriousness, "Why are you doing this? Revenge is no justification to destroy an entire city."

"As far as I'm concerned this city's just collateral. As long as you go down with it, it can burn for all I care." Nathanial said almost casually.

"How hypocritical. You go through so much effort because your old life was ruined, but your doing the same to so many others? Tell me…Why do you think you're more important than they are? That your vendetta has more value than their lives and well being?"

"Don't give me that bullshit!" Nathanial raged at him, his calm demeanor crumbling away. "How dare you lecture me when you're solely responsible for the greatest destruction this world has seen! Damn you! You destroyed my life! Do you know what kind of hell that I've been through since that day? I had _everything_, now I have _nothing_! This city, these people…they mean nothing to me! The only thing that exists in my life anymore is vengeance, and if I have to die in order to that to be fulfilled than so be it!" Nathanial snarled. He glanced up at the fluctuating plant with a savage joy, relishing the thought of the all consuming blast. Vash watched him sadly with both pity and guilt. Deep soul wrenching guilt. And it was forever beyond his ability to make it right.

The plant gave one particularly bright pulse the begun to settle down. Far in the back of his mind, Vash felt relief and calmness begin to radiate off of the being now. He smiled, Knives had pulled through. An enraged scream pulled him from the brief moment of peace. Nathanial roared and shook his fist at the now clam plant. He then turned on Vash.

"What the hell is going on! That's impossible! There's no way that could have been fixed! What the hell did that man do!" He raged. Vash drew his gun before he could get any closer.

"Well lucky for us and everyone here, that man that just went in there is the best plant technician that the technology has ever seen." Vash said with a smile. Of course it helped out a lot that he was one, but he wasn't about to tell _him_ that. Instead of more swearing, Nathanial began to laugh hysterically. Vash'es smile faded as he became unsettled by this unexpected behavior. Nathanial slowly held up the detonator device.

"Don't!" Vash shouted, praying that Knives was already on the way out of there. "There's no point insetting off the explosives now! Your issue is with me, not him!"

"I know." Nathanial laughed. "I hope you wouldn't be too upset with me but I've not been completely honest with you." Vash froze. "I never put the explosives in the plant…I have them right here." He said, reaching into his sling to reveal a small bundle of explosives. Vash turned and ran.

-L&P-

The person that had been trying to sabotage the plant had obviously not known what they were doing, Knives thought with a slight smirk. The plant was clearly agitated but nowhere near the point where it would overload. All it took was a few adjustments and a reconfiguration and the plant was resting peacefully again.

Resting…peacefully?

Knives paused at the thought. He had always thought of them as entrapped…tortured. Had Vash actually been right about them? That they were serene and at ease in there? He hesitantly reached out with the dim and vague skills that Vash had been teaching him and was left in awe at the calmness and joy radiating off of the plant and it wasn't the false sense of serenity that he had thought it would be. Not once in his life had he felt such a feeling of ease and peace, and he had thought that _they_ were the unfortunate ones. He was about to delve further into the sensation but and explosion rocked the ground. He stood there for a moment, startled, then remembered that Vash was fighting for his life.

Knives hesitated for a moment at the entrance then made a dash for the building that Vash had taken shelter behind. Halfway there he slowed, worries of a sniper gone from his mind. A building just down the street was partially reduced to a crumbling smoldering heap. Knives automatically went towards the ruins, uncertain of what he would find but knowing he wouldn't like it. Wary, he drew his gun and began looking around the wreckage.

"Vash?" Knives called out hesitantly, but got no reply. He began to check around the other side. "Vash?" He called again, fighting to keep the worry out of his voice. He paused when a faint sound reached him from around the corner. Crying. He recognized it as his brothers. Knives let out an angry sigh. Sure he was changed and loath to take the life of another, but crying over the nut job that had done all of this was a bit much.

Knives rounded the corner, climbing over the last pile of stone and froze. He dropped his gun and immediately ran over to his brother who was partially covered in debris and obviously in great pain.

"Vash? _Vash_! Hold on, I'll get this stuff off of you. Are you alright?...Please say something!" Knives pleaded as he pulled the stones away, genuinely afraid now. Vash didn't reply, he gave no indication that he had even heard him. He just continued to cry miserably and softly, eyes shut tightly and shaking. Beginning to shake himself, Knives continued to clear the stone away until the full extent of the damage was reviled.

"…You hold on for me, ok Vash?" Knives said taking his hand, and was reassured when he got a tight squeeze in reply. "I'm going to get you some help…we'll get you fixed up in no time." But the truth was, he didn't know what the hell to do. Asides from the various scrapes and bruises, Knives didn't know how to begin to tend to the serious injuries his brother was currently suffering from.

From what Knives could see, no vital areas had been damaged and the bleeding was less than it could have been, but on his side from his waist down to mid-thigh had been torn and gouged by the rocks down to the bone in some spots. He just didn't know what the hell to do…He was no doctor and everyone had fled. He was alone…

Footsteps at the end of the alleyway caught his attention. Knives quickly looked for his gun, which was a few strides away and Vash'es was pinned underneath him. But instead of being threatened by the people that appeared in the distance, he was relived. It was Wolfwood and the girls; they had ignored their orders and had stuck around anyway. Knives wanted to cry with the knowledge that he didn't have to do this alone.

"It's about damn time we found you! What…" Wolfwood began, running towards them but Knives stopped him.

"Don't! Don't come any closer. I need you to go get a doctor, medical help, anything!" Wolfwood hesitated. "Do it now!" Knives roared at him Wolfwood nodded then turned and ran off with Millie at his heals. Knives glanced down at Vash who was coming out of the shock of the blast and was awakening fully to the pain. He was heartbreaking to have to hear in his suffering. Knives gripped the trembling hand tighter. He looked up to see Meryl lurking hesitantly in the alley. Knives gave her a pained look, but could say nothing to her.

With more composure that Knives had at the moment, Meryl came and knelt down beside of him. She looked for a place to touch Vash without causing him anymore pain. Finding few, she settled on petting his hair back. The touch was so light that Knives wasn't even sure that he had felt it, and her seemingly calm demeanor was betrayed by her severely trembling hands. But she kept on trying to sooth him, even if she wanted to hold her ears and sob into Knives'es shoulder. Or was it the other way around? With his free arm Knives held her close and they waited in utter misery.

After an age and a half it seemed, Wolfwood and Millie rounded the corner at a run with several men in tow. "We found and brought them as quickly as we could!" Wolfwood called running up to them. "Are we…" He began then faltered as he came close enough. The tortured cries had quickly died down to pleading moans, which if anything were worse. Wolfwood was pushed aside as the doctor ran up

"Move out of the way! You two, give me some room." The flustered older man said, setting his bag down. Meryl quickly obeyed but Vash had refused to release Knives, so Knives had to just scoot aside. It took the medical man all of three seconds to see that this person needed immediate surgery and treated for shock quickly.

While the many citizens of the city were slowly moving back in the limits once again, a small group of people were quickly moving to the hospital to prepare for a long evening ahead of them. Despite their pleadings, protests, and outright threats the doctor would not allow any of the frantic group in while he attended to their companion.

-L&P-

Knives watched as Wolfwood agitatedly paced back and forth, like caged animal. Knives could tell that the man was about to burst into the room and throttle some information out of someone. Millie sat quietly doing a thousand and one fidgety little tings like braiding random locks of her hair then undoing them, counting the cracks in the walls, and twirling her thumbs. Meryl was distant and despondent, refusing to say a word. She sat wrapped in Knives'es arms, and he just held her.

They all looked up as one when the door opened and the doctor walked into the room. The man had to step back as he was nearly mugged for information. "Whoa! Hold on a second people…"

"Dammit, don't just stand there…tell us something!" Wolfwood demanded threateningly.

"Alight, alright…Let me start from the top….Your friend has multiple minor cuts and contusions, a mild concussion that we are currently monitoring, and as far as we can tell there is no internal bleeding."

"And…" Knives pressed. The doctor sighed before continuing.

"Upon first look, I fully expected the pelvic bone to be broken, but it turns out that there was already a steel plate there and that's saved him a lot of complications. There was some minor injury to the bone, but the only breaks were a couple of ribs but that is nothing to be too concerned about…And that just about covers the easy part…We are having difficulties pulling him out of shock and its too risky to jump into surgery with him in the state he's in."

"And the surgery?" Meryl asked, swallowing hard and holding onto Knives for support.

"…As for that, I've checked the area extensively and I'm fairly confident that I can repair the tissue damage well enough that, with time and extensive therapy, he will gain full function of his leg again. Unfortunately there will be significant scaring but from what I've seen of that young man it will be a moot point." The four of them allowed themselves a small sigh of relief. Things were not in the clear yet, not by a long shot, but it was a beginning.

"And how come you're having difficulties getting him to come out of shock? Is there anything we can do?" Millie asked shakily.

"It's because of the concussion. We can't give him any heavy painkillers until we're sure he's in the clear."

"But is there anything we can do to help poor Vash?" Millie tearfully asked.

"Excuse me?" The doctor asked.

"Help. Please tell us what to do."

"Who did you say he was?" The elderly man pressed.

"His name is irrelevant….we're not going to have a problem, are we?" Knives asked, hand resting on the handle of his gun threateningly.

The poor doctor was torn with indecision. He had heard the name, and the tall mans reaction had proved who exactly it was he was treating. How could he, in good conscience, restore this mans ability to walk? If he did, then whatever future damage the outlaw caused would rest on his head. But on the other hand he had taken an oath, to treat and help out anyone who came to him, despite background, race, or creed. So what should he do?

"Please…please don't do this…" The short woman begged him, in tears. "You have to help him. Don't turn him away because of a damn name. Please…" The doctor felt his heart give way. Her soft sincere pleas struck a cord with him. He also noticed a small ring on her left hand. He sighed.

"…No. No, it won't be a problem. I'll do everything I can for him. I swear it." He said in all honesty. He was not God, nor did he have a desire to play him. It was a matter of responsibility. The outlaw was responsible for his own actions, both in the past and in the time to come, and this was out of the doctor's hands. It was, however, his responsibility to stay true to his oath and help out someone in need. And he would do it.

-L&P-

Despite the doctor's assurance that he would help, Knives was still suspicious. Using subtle threats, and the look that usually ensured that he got his way and in a hurry, Knives coerced the man into allowing him into the operating room to supervise.

Finding that he could not stomach looking at Vash or what they were doing to him, Knives settled on observing the doctor and his aids for any sign of deceit or malevolence. They were intimidated by his presence at first but soon became absorbed in the task at hand. All but one.

One aid, which periodically left the room to fetch supplies as needed just oozed guilt and fear. He refused to look at Knives and tensed whenever he was forced to come near him. That and there was a growing sense of unease in the back of his mind. It was almost like when the plant reacted but too faint for him to focus on, and he simply was not skilled enough to do more.

The doctor was nearing the end of the surgery after several hours and nothing had gone wrong with Vash, so that comforted Knives some. But still his instincts said that something was wrong and they would not be denied. As the aid tried to slip past him to fetch more bandages, Knives grabbed him. Lifting him up off of the ground by his shirt, Knives asked in his coldest most lethal voice.

"_What_ did you _do_?"

"I-I don't know what your talking about." The man quickly said in an unnaturally high voice.

"Lie to me one more time and you go on that table next, although I doubt that they'll be able to but you back together as well."

"Is this truly necessary!" The doctor reprimanded. "He needs to go fetch the bandages so we can finish this up. So let him go!" Knives hesitated, glaring at the young man a moment longer. He was about to relent and release him, but suddenly the man's will broke.

"I-I over heard you and the doctor talking. Outside in the waiting room." He quickly rambled out. "I heard that one lady tell who this man was."

"What. Did. You. Do?" Knives growled.

"I…I went and told the sheriff. He's calling the feds in now." Knives looked away and swore harshly. "And I…" The kid blurted out but thought better of it. Instead of asking, Knives gave him a look that's made even the most seasoned killer falter. The man he held suddenly burst out into terrified tears.

I didn't mean to do it! I didn't plan it! I was getting the anesthesia ready and I was thinking about July and all that, I had an uncle to live in July, and it was just pure impulse really, like revenge for him or something…"

"_Tell me_!"

"I emptied out some of the medicine and replaced it with water…" The young man whispered, and then cringed. So that's what that feeling was, Knives darkly realized. The sensation growing in the back of his mind…it was pain. "It was…nothing too bad…Not…not enough to seriously mess with him…just enough to…you know..."

"You know…" Knives began quietly. "If he wouldn't be disappointed in me later, I would kill you this very instant. You should be extremely grateful that he is a better man than me. Although if you don't get those bandages immediately…I just might reconsider my decision. Understand?" Knives asked him. The young man nodded vigorously, although he looked close to fainting. Knives sent him down and the man was off like a shot. The doctor surprised Knives by speaking up.

"I am…so sorry about this. I should have realized…"

"It's not your fault." Knives interrupted him. "I just need to know if he'll be alright."

"Yes. It's nothing I can't remedy myself in just a moment. And this surgery went far better than I had hoped..."

"I need you to do another favor for me now." Knives said, cutting him off again. "Because of that little bastard we need to be on the move again. I need you to supply us with enough bandages, painkillers, antibiotics and whatever that he will need. And I also need to know what to do for future care and therapy."

"Wha…" The doctor said, taken aback. "You can't just take off into the desert with him like this! His condition is too unstable!"

"We have no choice!" Knives shouted, then took a calming breath. "We have no choice. If he stays here, he dies." Knives said, voice strained. The same pang of pity and compassion that had struck the doctor when the small woman had been pleading to him came again. Once again he sighed.

"…Alright. You two go fetch what is needed. Now." He told the assistants. The look of gratitude that came over the tall mans face was enough to make him see that his choice was the correct one. Before the others came back the doctor quietly walked up and began to whisper to him. "To the northwest, about two hundred isles from here is an abandoned town. It was deserted for financial reasons so there is a water supply. If you can make it there you can take shelter for a while."

"Why are you telling me this? And why should I trust you?" Knives asked suspiciously.

"Because I can clearly see that you people are loyal to this man. And loyalty is not won by cruelty. I don't want to know the story nor do I need to. And as a doctor part of my duty is recovery, and he can't recover if he is on the move. Please take shelter there if you can find it within yourselves to trust me. I swear on my trade that I won't tell a soul." Knives looked at him long and searchingly. Before anything more could be said, the others returned.

While the doctor was finishing up with Vash, Knives went to notify the others. At first they were utterly outraged. Wolfwood and Knives had to physically restrain the girls from attacking the young man for what he had done, although they themselves had the urge to do worse. Knives told them about the doctor's suggestion and after a brief moment of reflection Knives decided that he could be trusted. Respecting his judgment, they decided that the abandoned town would be what they aimed for. Wolfwood left soon after to retrieve their vehicle while the girls went to gather supplies and Knives received his detailed instructions from the doctor.

"And for God's sake, keep the injuries clean. Use the antibiotics as often as I instructed because if this gets infected it could very well kill him." The doctor worriedly lectured Knives on last minute details. "I really would rather he stay here to oversee things myself."

"I understand…you have it all written down for me anyway." Knives patiently told the man.

"I know…I suppose it's a blessing that the surgery went so well and he won't be needing any additional ones."

"Once again, thank you for what you have done." Knives told him sincerely, then to Vash, "I'm sorry…" He said as he wrapped him with a sheet and picked him up as gently as possible. Wolfwood grabbed his clothes and gun while Meryl took the bag of medical supplies with a heartfelt look of gratitude towards the doctor. They all piled in the car and silently drove away in the sunset.

-L&P-

They arrived in the little abandoned town in the early hours of the morning. Even though it was late and everyone was exhausted they all were wide awake, only Vash slept. Knives slowly got out of the car, trying to move his brother around as little as possible.

"Ok…" Wolfwood said wearily. "We can't just pick any house; we need to find one where we can hide easily if the Calvary does show up. And we need to get the car unloaded so I can go hide it out in the desert."

"Mille and I can unload the car. Nicholas, you just go find us a decent place to say." Meryl said dejectedly. "Knives, go ahead and find a place to put him for now and get him cleaned up. This may take a while."

"Alright Meryl…" Knives said quietly. He went into the nearest house and gently laid Vash down on a bed. He quickly retrieved the medical bag out of the car and some water and got to work. Half an hour later Wolfwood came by and told them that he had found the perfect place. It was a house with a decent cellar that he had only found by accident. They could move a bed down the stairs and safely care for him there. They all agreed to this and got to work settling in. Two days later the move to stay hidden proved to be very wise.

It was Wolfwood's turn to be on watch duty that morning. He was sitting on the porch, cleaning out from under his nails with a knife when something in the distance caught his eye. It was the dust being kicked up from an approaching vehicle. He ran back inside.

"Everyone! Basement now! Someone's coming!" The house was suddenly a whirlwind of activity. Everyone picked up and hid anything that was out of place in the dusty old house. A light coating of sand was tossed onto the trafficked areas in front of the door, hiding their footprints, and everyone slipped inside of the cellar by the time the vehicle pulled up. Wolfwood and Knives, guns at the ready, waited at the door and listened. For the longest time there was nothing, and then voices came within earshot as well as footsteps in the house.

"This is complete and utter bull you know…we're not going to find anything." A man said, sounding tired and cranky.

"I know…But if the lieutenant finds out that we've been cutting corners it'll be our asses. He'd be likely to report us to the director, and you know how _he's_ been since the Stryfe incident. I'd sooner shoot myself in the foot than be faced with that."

"I _know_, but look…nothings here. No one. This place is a dusty old ghost town. There's no one here."

"…Alright. Let's move on to our next check. No point in wasting our time here when we gotta lot of work to do at our next point."

"Alright!" The first man cheered. "Lemme drive this time."

"No."

"Please."

"No."

"Common!"

"No." And so they continued this way until they were out of earshot. Soon there was the sound of a vehicle slowly pulling out and driving off. They waited several minuets longer, then Knives hesitantly went out to check. He checked every corner of the house, outside of the house, and even the other houses for any sign that there might be someone there. Only when he gave the all clear did everyone relax, for the first time in days.

-L&P-

Knives quietly walked down the stairs of the cellar where they had been keeping Vash. It had been over a week since the officers came snooping around but none of them were willing to risk moving him elsewhere. Instead they made do with the inconvenience of having to move everything up and down the stairs as needed, not that it bothered them. All they wanted was for him to wake up again.

Knives came in and lightly tapped Wolfwood on the shoulder. Wolfwood jerked awake in surprise, then relaxed when he saw who it was. "Dammit…don't scare me like that…" He muttered, rubbing his face then stretching out in his chair.

"Common, you need to get to sleep. I'll sit with him." Knives said setting down his coffee on the little table by the chair, and shooing Wolfwood away.

"You've been watching him more than any of us. You need to get some rest too." Wolfwood said, but yielded his seat anyway.

"I can't sleep. But you obviously need it. So go on out before I carry you out." Wolfwood gave him a sour look then his expression changed to one of pity. He nodded to the blond man and quietly left. Knives sat down in the chair and picked up his cold coffee. He sighed and ran his fingers through his short hair.

It was a complete lie that he couldn't sleep. He felt as if he was going to drop from exhaustion from this past week, but he refused to let himself rest. He was determined to follow the doctor's instructions to the letter. He had completely taken over the care of his brother and the others would help whenever Knives would allow. Even when they forced him to try and sleep, he couldn't. Knives sadly glanced over at Vash and started when he saw a pair of green eyes looking back at him.

"Vash?...Hey, how are you feeling?" Knives asked, trying to keep both the relief and worry out of his voice.

"Where am I?" Vash asked him, voice hoarse from being unused for so long.

"We're currently hiding out in the cellar of an old house in an abandoned town." Knives quietly told him. Vash looked at him in sleepy confusion. "What's the last thing you remember?"

"…Explosion." He said tiredly, and then closed his eyes again. For a moment Knives thought that he had fallen back to sleep but a slight movement followed by a wince of pain told him otherwise.

"Don't try to move Vash. Keep as still as possible. I'll go get you something for the pain." Knives said sitting down his coffee. Before he could move away Vash reached out and grabbed his arm.

"Tell me…" He quietly pleaded. Knives sat back down.

"…After I helped the plant I came out and found you. The others came by soon as well. It took a while but we finally got you to a hospital and they fixed you up as well as they could."

"How bad…?"

"Nothings broken, but its going to be some time before you can walk again, much less sit up." Vash grimaced and covered his face with his arm. Knives winced in sympathy. "And the reason you're not in the hospital is some little punk got the wise idea to call in the feds. We've been hiding ever since."

"The others ok?"

"They're worried to death about you, but other than that everyone is fine. Now please let me go get something to help you out." Knives quietly asked him, pulling his arm away.

"I don't want it…" Vash surprised him before he could leave.

"What?"

"I said I don't want anything." He said with a slight snarl, still hiding his face.

"Why not?" Knives asked, sitting back down. What was going on here? What was wrong with him? "Tell me what's wrong Vash…"

"Answer me honestly Knives, not what you think I want to hear…Am I making a difference?"

"What are you talking about? What does this have to do with you not wanting any pain medicine?"

"I said answer me!...Am I doing any good at all? Or has all my suffering been for nothing…It seems like nothing I do matters. It probably doesn't…People will think and act how they want no matter how much I try so what's the point of trying anymore?"

"Vash…"

"I try but yet I'm hated. I'll always be hated. Always be hunted…I feel so sorry for you all…being cursed with loving me. It will only end in pain for you all. I want to stay with you all but…I also wish none of us had met…"

"Stop it Vash…no more of this…" Knives said strongly yet gently. "Of course you are helping…I am _living_ proof of this. Just like I did you only look at the negative…Why can't you for once see the lives that you save instead of the lives that slip out of your grasp? And you…you try to take this entire burden on yourself. But you forget whose fault this truly is…Its mine. It's my fault that you're hunted and hated Vash...Vash?" Knives leaned over and checked. He had fallen asleep again. How much Vash had heard he didn't know, but he would make sure that he _knew_ whose fault it truly was.

Knives sat back in his chair and sighed heavily. It was true…all of this was his fault and his alone. And it would be his responsibility to make things right. He thought about this long and hard, with an increasing feeling of heaviness weighing upon him. Knives decided that once his watch was over and Meryl came to replace him that he would dig around in his bag and finish off the bottle he had hidden in there. At the thought of the future he really needed it.

-L&P-

Meryl came in and Vash gave her a small smile. It was an empty one, but at least it was a smile. He was more responsive than he had been for the past few days but he was still a long ways off from being his old self again. As worried as they all were by his despondent behavior, not one of them could blame him for it.

She sat down at the head of the bed. Meryl gently lifted his head up and sat it on her lap. Softly she began to caress his face, his scruff prickling her fingers.

"Hmmhm, you need a shave." She giggled, running her hand along his jaw line.

"I know…and what I wouldn't give for a proper bath." He said taking her hand and kissing her fingertips.

"What? Am I not doing a good enough job?" She asked in mock indignation. He chuckled a little. Meryl was shocked to think of how long it's been since she's heard him laugh. Too long.

"No, you do fine. But its something I would rather do on my own."

"Well that shouldn't be too much longer. You're getting better so much faster now. You'll be walking again before you know it. I heard from Knives that you actually managed to sit up for a little while yesterday." She said, running her thumb over the mark under his eye. She loved that spot, she always thought it was beautiful.

"Only for a few minuets." Vash said, mood swinging downward again. "It hurt too badly to stay that way any longer, and it was more of a lounge than sitting."

"Well you have to start somewhere." She said leaning down for a quick kiss. "…The doctor that helped you said that you already had a plate in your hip that kept the bone from breaking…You've broke it before?"

"Yeah…Long ago before July. It took me so long before I could walk again, even _with_ a plants rate of healing. I've been bed ridden more times than I can count. That's why I'm so enthusiastic about being stuck here. And in a basement to beat it all." She chuckled at his sarcasm.

"Well you take it like a pro. I would have got cabin fever and clawed my way out of here _long_ ago." That managed to elicit another chuckle. Smiling, she began to brush her fingers through his messy hair. It was getting to where it needed a trim.

"It sure is quiet up there." Vash said a few moments later. "What's going on?"

"Wolfwood and Millie have gone for supplies two towns over, so they'll be gone for a few days. And I forced Knives to go take a nap. He's been pushing himself too hard lately, I'm afraid he'll make himself sick."

"He will if you let him. He's never known when to stop." Vash said closing his eyes and enjoying the attention she was giving him.

"I think it's worse now. It's like being tired confuses him. I guess he's not used to wearing out this easily."

"It's because we're mostly human now. I admit that it came to somewhat of a shock to me too how quickly I would tire. It's been a little hard to get used to."

"You've done a good job at coping. I never would have noticed if I didn't know you so well." She said, leaning down to kiss the end of his nose. But it failed to bring forth a smile like it usually did. He was pondering over something. A slight frown crossed his face and he sighed deeply. "What are you thinking?" She quietly asked him.

"…I'm thinking about the future." He said after a moment, finally looking up at her. "I'm wondering if we'll ever find a place to live. Assuming that we can ever live in peace."

"We can Vash, we just have to keep looking for a place."

"Wherever I go, they'll find me. They always find me…" He miserably sighed, looking away. "I've ran for years, for so long…It's no way to live, but if I don't run I'll be killed and others around me too. No matter how hard we try Meryl, I'll always have to run, and you now too because of me. We can't have a family like that…it would just end in a tragedy."

"Please don't talk like this…we can find a way to live in peace…"

"I can't…but maybe you can." He said looking up at her, taking her hand.

"What do you mean?" She asked, concerned. She didn't like the feeling she was getting from what he was saying.

"Change your name, change your appearance, run away…We both knew that something like this was going to happen Meryl, but I don't think either of us was truly prepared for it. And we both know that it's going to happen again, but it could be you next time. But if you leave me you'll be safe from something like this, and you would have a chance start a real life."

"Vash, what are you saying?" She asked near tears.

"I'm offering you a way out…a chance to go without regret or judgment. A chance to be free." He said sadly.

"Please don't do this…please don't make me go…don't leave me…" She softly sobbed, holding his hand tightly.

"I'm not going to make you do anything sweetheart, and I'm not going to leave you either, even if I _could_ walk. I won't lie and tell you that I don't want you, because I do. It's just that I want the best for you, even if it means the worst for me…" He quietly said, his tears mixing with hers as they fell down onto his face.

"T-that's…that's very sweet of you to say…so like you…but trying to live without you would only break me. I love you too much. I'm going to stay with you at all costs. I said I would die for you and I meant it." She said, kissing him.

"That's what I'm afraid of…That one day you will…" He said miserably, looking away from her to stare at the bare earthen walls.

"What's happened to you?" she softly cried. "You're the one that always hoped when the rest of us were ready to give up. When _I_ was ready to give up. But you never did…And seeing you believe was enough to get us through. Why this, why now Vash?"

"I…I'm just tired Meryl. So tired. I want to hope that we'll find a way out of this…but I just can't see any. I don't know what to do. I'm so tired…Please don't ask me…I'm tired."

-L&P-

Over the next several weeks Vash'es emotional state slowly began to improve as well as his physical state. He was able to walk for very short distances now and was able for the most part to care for himself, much to his relief. He began to talk more, dwell less on gloomy subjects, and had even started to laugh and smile again. But every now and then they all saw the pain still lurking in his eyes. He would get quiet, get distant, and it would take a strong effort on all their parts to try and get him away from it and to smile again.

Meryl knew what was on his mind whenever he would stare off into the distance. She was sure that some of it had to do with the past, but she knew that his thoughts mostly settled on the future. Of what was going to become of him…of them. Wondering if he would never have the life that he wanted, a life that wasn't drenched in violence.

Their conversation that one morning, when he had suggested to her that she leave him, broke her heart. Badly. He had told her that he wouldn't leave her, but Meryl knew him better than that. If he thought that her life was on the line he would leave to save her. He had done it before after all. And she knew that it was only a matter of time before it happened again.

The others were quickly becoming as concerned for her as they were for him. But just like Vash, Meryl was trying to think of a way out of this, a way that didn't involve a sacrifice of the heart. Ironically enough, it was when she was reminiscing about the past instead of pondering over the future did an idea come to her. But it was an idea that she didn't want to follow through with. But the longer she thought over it, the more it seemed that it would be the only option within their reach that may work. _May_. The true solution would be out of their hands. But at this point it was all they had. So that morning when they were all eating breakfast out on the porch, she decided on to letting them know so they all could reach this decision together.

"I have something that I need to discuss with all of you, but most importantly with you." She told Vash, setting her coffee aside.

"Yes?" He asked quietly. Meryl could hear the sadness and dread in his voice, and hated what conclusions he was already jumping to.

"We spoke not too long ago about how we are going to live, especially with the both of us having bounties on our heads. I've been thinking long and hard about what to do about this, or how to get around it…and I believe that I may have an idea. I just wanted to run it by you all first."

"Well lets here it!" Knives said more empathetically than she would have expected. "What is it?"

"It's basically the same as when you stayed with Lina. Find an obscure little place, go through a change of name, and a change of lifestyle. But we take it farther than that...I know that the three of you will be harder to get rid of than sand lice and will stick with us, so you can help verify that we are who we say we are. But even more so we can get proof. Papers, birth certificates, records of employment, everything. So if trouble does arise we'll have proof that we are who we say we are instead of the bounty that they're looking for. And all the impersonators out there only simplifies things for us. It was hard enough to believe that you were you as it was, it would be impossible for anyone else if we had proof backing us."

"Meryl…" Vash downheartedly began, setting down the black cat that had been napping on his lap. "There is no way we can do all of that. We can try to hide and change our names, but the key point in your plan is to have solid legitimate proof and perhaps a vouching source from other areas asides from where we live. But we have no way of getting that. And we have no one that can get it for us. We're alone in this. We have no one…"

"Yes we do." She said surprising them all. "I know someone who can get us everything we need, will not inform the authorities, and even help us establish a life somewhere. All we need to do is convince him to do it and then we're saved."

"Who is it?" Vash asked anxiously, hope lighting up his eyes. It was the first hint of his old self in weeks. Seeing him like this was enough and more to make up for the unpleasant task that she now had ahead of her.

"My father."


	17. Atonement

**Chapter Seventeen:**

**Atonement**

"Common you wimp…It's just a little bit further." Knives said with a shake of his head. Vash gave him a half scowl half pout as he tried to keep up with his brother. This was the longest he had walked since being able to stand again and it _huuuurrt_!

"You're so cold hearted!" He said in mock tears. "A true brother would have carried me, not just stand there with that 'you're so pathetic' look. And you called me a wimp! What did you expect out of me? For me just to get up and run a marathon? You're mean!"

"Look. If I carry you its just gonna take you even longer to get your strength back. So suck it up and common, it's only a few yards from here." Knives said somewhat impatiently. He knew that the whining was just a way to get out of walking today. Before, Vash had taken the physical therapy with a quiet determination, but now that he was improving and able to walk for nearly thirty minuets at a time he was getting increasingly annoying. And lazy. But Knives knew that he had an ulterior motive in prolonging his progress…Vash was afraid to go see _him_.

Once the decision to go to Meryl's father had been made the mood of the small group had done a one eighty degree turn. Now that they actually had some hope to feed upon it was almost like old times again. But during quiet conversations in the night that he was never meant to overhear, Knives learned more about the man Meryl had held at a distance for so long and began to understand their apprehension at pleading for his help.

"Ok you tyrant…I made it…" Vash wheezed, sitting down on the porch steps. He rubbed at his hip with a wince. "Can we please take it easy tomorrow though? I'm really going to be feeling this tonight…"

"Actually I wanted to ask you when we are heading to December." Knives said, sitting down beside of him. "We can't keep putting this off forever you know."

"Who says were putting it off?" Vash asked nervously, failing at pretending to be offended.

"And the sooner we get you two to safety the better I will feel." Knives continued on, ignoring the protest. "From what I gather, Meryl's father is not an easy man to get along with, but he is the best hope for a happy ending we've got. So the two of you are going to have to bite the bullet and get this over with." Vash sighed and looked down at his hands, all acting gone now.

"I know. You're right. But do you understand why I dread doing this? No matter what impression I try to make, it's my name that is going to be the problem. He's going to condemn me before he even gets to know me. Everyone does…"

"Not true. Millie didn't." Knives pointed out. Vash laughed.

"That's because Millie is Millie. There is no one else on this planet like her. But seriously…I know that we have to do this. The sooner the better. Heh…I don't want to have to go through something like this again or anyone else for that matter. And I was actually going to suggest that we get moving soon later on today."

"Good. Because I was about to do it myself to everyone. That and I'm not sure how much longer I can take it in this ghost town."

"When did you turn gregarious? I figured that you would have like the solitude. It's never bothered you before."

"Humph." Knives huffed then turned to go inside.

"Cranky!" Vash called to his back. Knives disappeared in the shade of indoors, leaving Vash out in the morning air. His mood quickly turned to worry and reflection.

Everyone seemed to be in better spirits, everyone except for Knives that is. He was hiding something…he seemed almost anxious. Vash knew that his brother had been deeply troubled by what had happened. And it was also possible that he felt guilty for it. Or perhaps it really _was_ this place…Maybe the solitude and painful association of this place was eating at him…Maybe the emptiness brought back memories of what he had done…

Yes, Vash firmly thought, it was high time to leave this place. Normally whenever injured, long before he had any company with him, he would remain in his place of sanctuary until he was fully able to take care of himself. It was either do so or die. But now he had others he could rely on to watch over him. It was a source of relief and new worry all in one, but he wouldn't trade it for the world. He couldn't let his fear of what needed to be done and old habits keep them here any longer. Not when it was putting stress on everyone, especially Knives. Yes…they would leave soon.

-L&P-

No one was surprised whenever Vash had announced over dinner that they should be making for December soon. In fact they had seemed to be waiting on it. Truth be told, they all wanted out of there as much as Knives did, but had respectfully waited until Vash had decided that he was well enough for travel.

Millie was so overjoyed at the thought of leaving that she immediately abandoned her dinner and began packing not only her things but everyone else's as well. She was all for leaving that very night, but her bemused companions had to talk her into waiting for the morning. Eventually she agreed to it, but made no little show of how unhappy she was about it and how much she was ready to be out of there.

Even though they were still in the December region, it would still take a week of continuous travel to arrive at the seventh city. Knives was all for the idea of a straight shot there without any unnecessary stops in between, he even offered to do the night driving, but the others were a little more hesitant. Five people, four of them over average size, crammed into a hot tiny car with no room to stretch out or sleep just didn't appeal to them. So, to Knives'es unspoken displeasure, they made frequent stops in town. And even more frequently…the saloon.

Wolfwood looked around in irritation. He would almost rather spend the long night cramped in that uncomfortable little car than be in this backwards no-name town. But then again this was the first time that a certain spiky haired donut lover had been out in ages, so Wolfwood decided he could put up with it. Not that he could blame him though, Wolfwood mused. If he had been the one stuck in a basement for weeks he would jump at any chance to get out and enjoy a drink , no matter how lousy the settings. But out of the five of them only Vash and Millie were actually drinking. Meryl sat by Vash quietly sipping her tea, obviously deep in thought over something. Knives sat across the room at the piano playing a mournful sounding song. And as for Wolfwood himself…he stood by the door, unconsciously playing guardian for the evening.

"Common….Please please pretty please?" Millie begged Vash, giving him her biggest cutest eyes. "Can't you ask him? If any body would know I'm sure it would be him."

"Then why don't you ask him?" Vash countered, pulling his drink back before she tipped it over.

"Because he's your brother. If you ask him I'm positive that he would tell."

"Millie I really don't want to bother him. Knives has been in an odd mood for days over something. He's really not up to talking right now."

"That's my point! If I ask him he'll just brush me off. But if _you_ do it…"

"Millie…" Vash sighed. The bartender tossed away the grungy looking rag he had been using to wipe off a glass and leaned in forward towards the two.

"Alright…" he begun in a voice deeper than his size would have suggested. "For nearly the past _twenty_ minuets I've had to listen to the two of you bicker about asking someone named Knives something. Now I've tried to ignore ya…but it's getting to the point I can't take it anymore…" Vash and Millie shrunk back slightly. "What _is_ it that you're wanting to ask him? I'm so curious I can't stand it anymore."

Relived, Vash laughed loudly. "She's wanting me to go ask my brother over there is salmon _really_ salmon or something else. And if so _what_?"

"Huh?" The barkeep asked blankly. Vash and Millie immediately launched into telling the man all about the conspiracy theory.

Meryl got up with a sigh before her annoyance got the better of her and went and sat by the window. She had more important things to think about than the seeds of suspicion planted by the infamous Mr. Johnson. She looked out into the night. A few people were milling about on the streets, a black cat was inspecting the garbage cans, but other than that it was almost disserted.

Should she tell them, Meryl wondered. Honestly the details of her family life or their financial situation wasn't relevant to the issue at hand, but she knew so much about everyone else's life it felt almost like deception to not tell them. She looked over to Knives at the piano nearby. He was playing a different song but it was no less melancholy than the last.

These past few months had been hard on them all. So much running, so much pain…You brought it upon yourself, she knew he would say. This is the life you chose so now deal with it. Meryl gripped her cup harder in anger. She felt jealous of Millie and her loving family. It was true that their somewhat poor living situation was harder than she would have liked, but it was that very same struggle against adversary that had drawn them together so closely.

They loved one another and their only expectations of one another were to be decent people and be happy and healthy. Social status didn't matter, only a basic respect of others did. Reputation didn't matter, only that you did the right thing. Obligations didn't matter, only that you kept your word. Meryl loved that, respected it, wanted it. And she knew that their complete acceptance of Wolfwood for what he is rather than what he was would never happen in her family. In fact, she would be lucky if her family didn't call the feds immediately after learning about Vash. It was almost enough to make her want to cry.

"Haven't seen you around these parts before pretty lady." A partially drunken stranger said, walking up to her. "You're looking awfully sad setting her by your lonesome. Whaddya say to letting me try and cheer you up?" He asked trying to be subtle, but the alcohol made the suggestiveness in the comment loud and clear.

"Beat it jackass. I'm trying to think." Meryl snapped, and proceeded to ignore him. The thought of what she had left behind all those years ago and what she would have to go back to had worked her up into a rather foul mood and she had no patience to put up with drunks at the moment. But he was not deterred.

"Aww common…I insist." He said draping an arm over her. All the frustration and pain of the last few weeks combined with her already short temper flared up and she switched to full out rage mode.

"Get The Hell OFF Me!" She roared, elbowing and kicking at him, fighting the urge to shoot him in the leg. Too drunk to feel much of it the man laughed at her until his laugh twisted up to an agonized cry of pain, accompanied by the sound of bones cracking as his arm was pried off of her and twisted up and away.

"You know…it's always annoyed me whenever men don't respect a woman's personal space." A cold voice said. The drunken man turned the best he could to see a tall man with blond hair and blue eyes staring down at him.

"L-lemme go! You're b-breaking my DAMN arm!" The man screamed at Knives.

"Then perhaps next time you'll think twice before harassing a lady." Knives said then harshly pushed him away, sending the man sprawling. The man got to his feet cursing and crying and ran from the saloon, Wolfwood holding the door open for him, smirking all the while. The saloon was silent.

"I don't appreciate trouble makers in here." The owner said, pointedly looking at the shotgun had behind the bar with him. "Leave."

"As you wish." Knives said emotionlessly and turned to leave, but Meryl caught his sleeve.

"Thanks." She told him quietly. He gave her a small smile and wordlessly left the saloon. The place was quiet for a moment longer then went back to the soft hum of background noise that it had before the incident. Minus the quiet piano music that is.

"I am _so_ sorry Meryl!" Vash said as he finally made it over to her. "I saw what happened and I was on my way over but I…"

"Shh." She softly cut him off. She sat back down in her seat and indicated that he sit across from her.

"Please forgive me. I should have been paying more attention."

"Its ok Vash…you don't have to keep apologizing, I was about to kick his ass myself but Knives beat me to it. I'm puzzled though…" She trailed off in thought, troubled at what she just saw.

"About what?"

"What Knives did."

"That he would protect you? Of course he would, he cares about you."

"I know that, but why did he react so violently? I know that he's stressed out but that was something I would have expected out of the old Knives, not this one. And the guy wasn't even hurting me, so why did he hurt that man so badly?" She asked Vash, hurt and confused about the unexpected harshness of his brother. She was utterly taken aback to see Vash sitting across from her smirking slightly at her, fighting a snicker. "You find this_ funny_?" She demanded.

"No, it's not funny…Its just that I think that Knives reacted so strongly to that is because he loves you." Vash knowingly told her. Meryl nearly spit out the drink she just took.

"He _what_?" She shouted.

"Not romantically! Purely platonically he's told me." Vash quickly told her before she could get too worked up.

"He's actually told you that he…loves me?" Meryl said more quietly this time around. Vash nodded with a smile.

"He's told me a lot more than that too."

"Like what?"

"…I don't know…It was sort of a private conversation…Ok…Don't give me that look, I'll tell you. But don't let him know that I've repeated this to you ok? Knives…He's told me that you are his light."

"_Huh_?"

"He said that if it weren't for you he might never have found his way. Of how he needed to change. If it weren't for you he said he would have been dead. He's told me that whenever he's gotten frustrated with it all and was about to do or say something stupid that he would think of you and what you would say to him…and he would stop…In a way, you are to Knives what Rem was to me…a guide. His light."

"I…uh…" Meryl was utterly speechless. Knives had actually said all that about her? He actually feels that way? This from the man who used to call her a 'lower life form'? Wow…

"Actually I think it's adorable!" Vash said, hugging himself. "That's one of the cutest most adorable things I've ever heard…especially coming from Knives! You're not weirded out by it…are you?" He asked, slightly concerned.

"No…" She said quietly, still in shock. "No I'm not weireded out by that…Actually I'm…honored…But why me? I'm not all that great of a person. I have a nasty temper, I'm too harsh sometimes, why me?"

"That's precisely one of the reasons…You don't think you're a great person. You freely admit your flaws and don't try to lie about them, and Knives deeply respects that." He said, chuckling at her confusion. He picked up her hand and kissed it lightly. "But as for the rest…I think you should let Knives himself tell you. Whenever he's ready of course."

"…ok."

"And thank you. For putting up with him, especially at first. He wasn't…easy to be around."

"And neither were you mister! Sometimes I think you did the things you did just to annoy the hell out of me." She said, giving him a searching look. Vash laughed, then chuckled a little nervously, and then looked down at his hands. "Uh huh…that's exactly what I thought…"

"Well I…uh…We had better get moving huh? Before he gets into any more trouble…"

"I've wanted to ask you something…Should I tell everyone? You know…about my family." Meryl asked, letting him off the hook. For now.

"Honestly I don't see what you're so embarrassed about it for Meryl. It's not like we're gonna treat you any differently."

"I know…I'm just sensitive about it I suppose. And I guess I don't want anyone to know because I hate it so much."

"Well we still have some time before we get there so you still have plenty of time to think it over. But as for right now I think we should get a move on…Millie's already starting to sing, lets get out of here before she tries to pull her usual." An uproar of cheering starting at the other end of the bar told them that they were _slightly_ too late.

-L&P-

"Tadaa! Our home sweet home…for now!" Millie cheered as the walked down the halls of the hotel trying to find their rooms. After an eternity on the road they had finally made it to December. And they were all worn out and happy to not be on the move anymore. "At least this place is a lot nicer than that place we had at January." Millie said looking at her key. She paused a moment, puzzled, then turned it right side up with a grin of victory.

"That was an apartment Millie…This is a hotel. They're supposed to keep it nice." Meryl said dully as she stepped into her room. Everyone else quietly followed after her.

"What's the matter Meryl? Are you not feeling well?" Millie asked, her cheery mood replaced with that of concern.

"No I'm not." She said shortly, tossing her suitcase over by the desk. "I would rather be shot then have to go over _there_ tomorrow. Although a bullet wound would make a good excuse not to go…"

"I don't see why your so reluctant to go see you family Meryl." Millie said a little sadly. "I know you don't always get along…but really is it that bad to where you actually dread it? That's awful."

"Millie…" Meryl uncomfortably began. "The situation with my family is a lot more complicated that with yours. Your family actually loves and respects one another rather than try to form them into what they think you should be." She said bitterly making the others in the room slightly tense. Meryl sighed in resignation. "My family is on what you would call…the wealthy side. The reason for this and the reason that my family keeps almost exclusively to the insurance business is because we are closely related to the Bernardelli's and have a fair share in the fortune."

"Wow! I never knew that." Millie said. "How come you never told me?"

"Its not something I like to broadcast. I don't want to be treated differently because of my family." Meryl said sitting down on the bed. "My great grandfather was the founder of the insurance society over a hundred years ago when things were still…unstable. Naturally this made him a very wealthy man, even more so than most plant engineers of the time. And as it seems to be in all wealthy families tradition became so glorified that it was practically a sin to do any differently. The very money that upheld them became their cage."

"That's why you were signed up to work for the society without being asked first…because that's what was expected of you." Vash stated.

"Right. And like the naive fool I was I went with it. Because it was what I was _supposed_ to do."

"Why didn't you simply quit?" Knives asked, batting away some of his old animosity at the ways of people at the thought of her being forced around.

"I was wanting to at first but I'm not that rash." Meryl started. Vash snorted earning himself a light smack. "Not many could say they have a steady secure job that they were good at so I went for a compromise. I chose a specific area of expertise that would not only give me freedom while being paid…it was also a low blow to my father who had been meticulously grooming me to be a lady and chief of the society one day."

"And that would be a class one disaster investigator! Go Meryl!" Millie cheered. Meryl laughed at her enthusiasm.

"Yeah well needless to say that the thought of his little girl toting guns while taming thomas'es and outlaws didn't sit well with my father." Wolfwood snorted this time, earning himself a hit as well. "We argued about it to the point where he was on the verge of disowning me until I just moved out. I wanted to work for my keep anyway, not have it handed to me. Since then we haven't talked and have only wrote one another…" Meryl trailed off thinking, counting off the times on the fingers of one hand.

"Well that certainly explains your hesitation." Wolfwood said, chewing at a thumbnail. "How's dear old tradition bound upper-class daddy going to react once he hears that not only is his daughter an outlaw, she's marrying one, the most infamous to beat it off, _and_ that they want _him_ to bail them out…Yup…" He spat out the sliver of nail. "I'm glad I'm not the one going."

"You're always such an encouragement Wolfwood. A ray of light. Thanks." Vash said blandly.

"I think everyone is just being too serious and negative about this!" Millie said scolding. "All you have to do is convince your family that Vash is not a bad person, only tries to do good, and you accidentally got in trouble while helping him out! See? Simple." Meryl opened her mouth to try and explain things to her, closed it again, sighed and just smiled at her.

"You're right Millie…That's all I have to do."

"Well good!" Millie declared proud of herself, oblivious of the looks they were all giving her. "Now that that's settled you two had better get to bed. You're gonna have an important day tomorrow and you need to be in tippy top shape!...That and I'm kinda tired too."

Wolfwood laughed and escorted her out of the room. Without Millie's childlike confidence the mood took a sever downturn.

"So…Do you have any plan about how to go about this or are you going to play it by ear?" Knives asked going to the window. He stared off into the distance but didn't seem to be looking at anything.

"We could possibly tell him the truth…the whole truth." Vash hopefully offered.

"And how would you prove it?" Knives asked, turning back to look at him.

"Oh…"

"Exactly. Without any proof it's all just a very elaborate story. Although it would earn you a chance at getting sent to a mental hospital rather than a firing squad."

"You're as bad as Wolfwood."

"For weeks I've been trying to think of a way to convince him to help us. And every scenario I think of ends worse and worse." Meryl said running her hands through her hair. "Honestly in the end it all comes down to his willingness to accept the prodigal daughter despite what trouble I've gotten into."

"Sounds like you would be better off telling the truth." Knives said, looking back out the window. "That it wasn't Vash'es fault and he was framed by his psychotic evil twin…What?" He asked whenever they just stared at him. "Its true isn't it?"

"Don't take this the wrong way or anything Knives but I would rather people not know about you…If word got out you would end up wanted too just out of association with me."

"It wouldn't be any less than I deserve." Knives said flatly. The two brothers had a quiet stare off for several moments before Meryl decided to jump in and intervene.

"I think that the best course of action would be similar to the one I had taken. I got to know him, decided that there was no way that the rumors could be true, and decided to help him out, job be dammed. And hell…if that's what it takes I'll tell father that getting Mr. destructive here to settle down would be the best way to keep him out of trouble and save the society both money and grief." Vash just stared at her.

"Well…whatever course you take I'm sure it will work out." Knives said stepping away from the window and turning to leave for his own room. "You certainly are persuasive and tenacious enough…both of you. Personally between the two of you I don't think Mr. Stryfe has a chance."

"Thanks Knives."

"I'm only telling the truth. Tell me how it goes tomorrow when you get back." He said in parting, and closed the door behind him. The two of them stared at the closed door for a moment.

"…That was sort of odd." Meryl said a moment later.

"Yeah. I really wish I knew what has gotten into him…but I suppose he'll tell me when he's ready. But until then we have to be getting ready for tomorrow."

-L&P-

"I really don't want to do this…" Meryl quietly groaned, staring at the ornate door before them. She and Vash stood at the door step of a fairly large house. It was nothing mansion sized, but it was considerably larger than those two room huts that they were accustomed to. It wasn't the size of the house that fully exhibited the wealth of the Stryfe family, but the material it was made of…wood. It was expensive but not overdone. It seemed to exhibit practicality and control.

It had taken them forever to get here it seemed. And in this part of the city it seemed that all the places were just as well off as this one. Compared to the stone and plaster houses that he was used to, it seemed as this place were a different world all together. It wasn't often that Vash had a chance to see such a place as this and he was certainly impressed. And truth be told…a little cowed. But for Meryl's sake he tried to act as relaxed as possible.

"I can just see it now…" Meryl continued, unconsciously wringing her hands. "Mom in tears that her baby is an outlaw…bawling once she finds out that she's gonna be an outlaws in-law. Dad so angry that he ends up giving himself a stroke…after he chases us out of course. People will think we killed him and then we'll have a homicide added to our charges…"

Vash quietly laughed and held her close. "Common Meryl…it couldn't go over that bad. We have to stay optimistic. And they're your parents. I'm sure that even if you've had your differences in the past that they wouldn't run you away. Even if they are angry. I'll be right with you, ok?" He smiled and leaned down to kiss her. She smiled back at him and relaxed. Slightly.

With a heavy sigh, Meryl reached over and knocked heavily on the door. For several long moments Vash thought that they had missed them at home, but footsteps from within caught his attention. The door opened to reveal a rather familiar looking short dark haired woman in her forties. She looked at the two of them for a fraction of a second then started once she recognized her daughter.

"…Meryl…" She whispered in shock.

"Hi Mom." Meryl answered wearily, mentally preparing herself for the water works. And she predicted accurately. The older woman immediately burst out into tears and latched onto her daughter for all she was worth. Vash fought against a smirk at the little 'oof' sound that Meryl made when her mother took her into her arms.

"Oh Meryl! I've been so heartbroken over you! I thought that you were gone! The authorities came over a few months ago and told us all this nonsense about you joining Vash the Stampede and that you were shot and they couldn't find you and that they thought that you were in all likelihood dead and and…I'm so glad my baby's back _home_!" She cried out hysterically.

"Mom…Mom…calm down…I'm alright. See for yourself…" Meryl said, doing her best to comfort her, although it was exceedingly clear that she was really uncomfortable with the situation.

"What happened! Where have you been?" Her mother said, checking Meryl all over to make sure for herself that she actually alright.

"Mom…If you'd give me a minuet…" She said trying to pry her off.

"What in the world is going on out there Julia!" A male voice demanded from out of sight. Soon the person in question ran into sight but froze at the sight of his daughter in the doorway.

"Hi…Dad…" Meryl said almost timidly, relieved that her mother finally let go of her.

"But…you…" Her father stammered out, completely taken aback by the sight of the young woman before him.

"Uh…can we come in?" Meryl quietly asked, taking Vash'es hand. He cringed slightly as the attention was directed towards him then tightened his grip around her hand in quiet assurance. The Stryfe's seemed to notice his presence for the first time. Suddenly he very much wished that he had somewhere else to be at this moment.

"Of…of course you can dear…You shouldn't even have to ask…But who is your company?" Her mother asked, taking a step back and observing her daughters strange companion. "You're a tall one aren't you?"

Vash chuckled nervously. "Well yeah…I…um…heh…"

"Who is he Meryl?" Mr. Stryfe asked sharply. His eyes narrowed as he studied the tall stranger. Vash had a sinking suspicion that the man already knew who he was. Meryl bristled at the hostility that her father was already showing him.

"He's my _fiancé__e_." Meryl said shortly, putting deliberate stress on the word. Her mother started while her fathers gaze hardened even further. "And can we come in or are we going to do this standing out in the sun?" She snapped. Jeeze Meryl…we're asking them for a favor…not trying to start a fight, Vash thought uncomfortably. Shouldn't she be trying to butter them up instead? There was a brief glair off between father and daughter before the man broke it off and they were ushered into the high-class house and shown to the sitting room.

Vash nervously glanced from one parent, to the other, then back again. He felt as if he should say or do something, but as to what that something was he had no idea. He felt more at ease in a hostage situation than he did now. At least there he knew what to do. Meryl's father sat glaring at him like he would love nothing more than to kick his scrawny backside off of his property and into jail.

Oh, he knew, Vash clearly saw. This man knew who he was. It seemed as if her father were waiting for his actual name to be said before he took action. Most people, when confronting him, held a degree of fear. Not this man. His stare never wavered, wearing a disconcertingly familiar scowl.

Appearance wise and attitude, Vash could clearly see who Meryl took after. Actually he felt slightly intimidated by the small man, just as he had been of Meryl so long ago. The uncomfortable silence stretched on. Her mother made them some tea and tried to pretend that nothing was wrong. It seemed to be something that she was well accustomed to. But Vash could clearly sense that she wanted to be here for this just about as much as he did. Her father's expression continued to darken towards Vash. This look was being matched by Meryl who was quickly becoming infuriated by his behavior. She was practically daring him to criticize her fiancée. Vash couldn't take the tension any longer.

"T-this is a very lovely place Mr. and Ms. Stryfe…" He awkwardly stammered out.

"Why thank you…um…" Her mother trailed off for lack of a name. He laughed uneasily, really not wanting to tell her.

"I…um…uh…I see where Meryl gets her good looks!" He said then laughed shrilly. The woman uncomfortably shrunk back slightly as if his comment had been a drunken come-on rather than a compliment.

"Let's cut to the chase here…" Her father snapped, cutting the annoying laughter short. "Just who the hell is this Meryl and _what_ The Hell happened in January? I've heard some things and sincerely hope that there is a good explanation for them all."

Meryl puffed out defiantly, holding Vash'es hand tighter. "This…is Vash…and yes, it's really him. From my assignment." Her mother looked utterly shocked, but her father appeared strangely calm. But Vash knew that that couldn't be farther from the truth. The man hadn't expected to learn any different. "And the reason that the both of us have come here today is that we have something important we need to talk to you about."

"And what might that be?" Her mother asked hesitantly. Before she could answer her father spoke up.

"Kitchen. Now." He said then turned and left. Meryl let out a long breath of air which was more of a growl than a sigh. She motioned for Vash to stay put and followed after her father. Her mother quickly excused herself after that leaving Vash to sit there alone wondering what exactly it was that he had done wrong.

Before Meryl could get two steps into the kitchen her father whirled around and began shouting. "What in the world were you thinking! Why did you bring…HIM here?"

"You don't even know who HE is! And don't give me all that rumor nonsense because it isn't true!" She shouted right back.

"The hell it isn't! I can't believe you Meryl! I thought you were smarter than this! Are you so blind as not to see when you're being manipulated?"

"You think he's _using_ me?" She demanded, outraged.

"In more ways in one apparently, judging from that fake ring you're wearing."

"H-how dare you…" She uttered out, so angry at the insinuation that she was having difficulty speaking.

"Breaking into the Damn federal building! Assaulting the head of the agency! Stealing back those weapons for him! And you still say you're not being used?"

"You weren't there! You don't know the circumstances for my actions! And for your information He _didn't_ _want_ me to go! It was my choice! Every bit of it! And I would do it again if I had to, getting shot and all!" She screamed, stomping for emphasis. Her father stood in stunned silence for a few moments. He walked away a few steps, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"So it's true…you were shot."

"Yes. In the shoulder. And I would have died too if that man in there hadn't risked his own life to save me. He's not like what you think he is. I thought the same way at first. I believed the rumors…But I was wrong…everyone was wrong. Without a doubt he truly is Vash the Stampede and also without a doubt he is not what everyone says he is. July and Augusta…it's not what everyone thinks. They don't know the whole story; _you_ don't know the whole story."

"And what exactly, Meryl, is the whole story?" He flatly asked her, the skepticism evident in every word.

"I can't tell you…You would never believe it anyway…"

"Mmhmm…"

"…And what do you mean by that?" She asked coldly.

"What?" Her father asked with a tone to match.

"You don't believe me…do you?"

"Do you want the truth Meryl?"

"Why yes, considering how everything I have been telling you is the truth, it would be nice to get some in return."

"Ok…I think that either A: the person in there is not the real thing and is just stringing you along with lies. B: That he is the real deal, which to a little girl with a crush on the dangerous felon, can do no wrong. Or C: You're feeding me the lines that he's told you to because to a person like that you're nothing but a puppet on a string." He finished. For the first time since their arrival her father began to express an emotion other than animosity…it was worry. Fear for his daughter. "That's it isn't it…Just a simple yes or no. Tell me and I'll get you out of this."

"No Dad…It's not like that." Meryl said wearily. "Wrong on all accounts."

"Well one of them have to be right because there is no way that that person is truly the outlaw and that you willfully went and joined him like the feds say."

"I'm sorry dad but that honestly is the truth." She said quietly. For several long moments her father said nothing. He stood with his back turned to her. Meryl noticed the slight shaking of his clenched fist.

"Then…what…the hell are you doing here?" He asked turning to her. He was livid…and hurt. "If being with him and life on the run is so damn perfect then What are you Doing here?" He said quietly then raising up to a shout.

"Because we need you!" She shouted back.

"Need me? What in the world would you need me for? You have _him_ now. What could I possibly offer you?"

"Would you stop being such an ass and just listen to me for once!" She shouted, unwanted tears beginning to form. "That's all I ever wanted from you! For you just to listen to me! But I forgot…you already knew what I was _supposed_ to think so why would you ask. Well if _anything_ this _proves_ that My life will not be lived on Your terms. I stand by my decision and will never regret it. But the reason I…_We_ came to you today was because we need your help…And only you can… Everyone's after me, everyone's trying to kill him…You saw him try to walk…We need help. New names…new lives…things can't continue on as they are…if something doesn't change…we'll die…" By the time she finished all the harshness had fled out of her voice and tears were streaming down her face. He was quiet for a long moment, so long that Meryl thought he was refusing to answer. But when he spoke it was quiet and heavy with grief.

"Do you have any idea how worried I've been about you? And I'm not just talking about that one morning when the feds showed up at the door and said that you've turned sides but were more than likely dead anyway…but ever since you've started this disaster investigator nonsense…I've tried so hard to give you and your mother a life away from all the danger and suffering of the world. But you…Meryl…seem only determined to run to danger. An office and a nice home were never good enough for you…it had to be sand and gunpowder…I see that you've finally got what you've always wanted…Danger. You're even engaged to it…and now you change your mind? Now you want a safe home? I can give you one Meryl but not both…You have to choose." He said quietly.

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying you have to choose one or the other. You can't have danger and security both…I can help you, I can hide you…but not him as well."

"You're making me choose between you and him…" She said in disbelief.

"Yes…While you may say that the rumors aren't true you can't deny the fact that this man brings trouble. Too much apparently or else you wouldn't have come to me today…You've already given up your good name for this man…don't give up your future as well…"

"…I'm…I'm sorry that…my actions…have hurt you all so much…That my choices have put such a scar on the family name…" She paused long enough to wipe her eyes. Her father moved in to embrace her, but she held him back. "I'm sorry for it…but you don't have to worry…I won't be a Stryfe for much longer… Goodbye…" She whispered then ran from the room.

"Well what…" Vash began as she returned but stopped at the look on her face. Wordlessly and without a look back she took his hand and walked right out the front door. She didn't get very far before she had to slow to accommodate Vash'es slightly limping pace. Between watching him struggle and the rejection, her emotions got the best of her. She held to him to keep from dropping to the ground in a heartbroken crying heap.

"Common, lets go back to the hotel…" Vash said quietly, not needing to hear how it went. He had heard most of it from the sitting room anyway. The whole sector had probably heard it. "I'll tell the others to stay away for the evening so you can just relax, ok? We can think of something else later. But first let's stop somewhere and get you something to eat."

"No. I don't want to eat anything." She said miserably. "I just want you to kiss it all away. I want you to tell me that you love me. It's not…something I've heard very often in my life..."

"Oh sweetheart I'm so sorry…Of course I love you. I always will…Common let's get out of here…" He said taking her hand and pulling her away. She nodded in agreement and the two of them left, turning their backs to the last hope that they had.

Unknown to them though, the entire scene had been watched and overheard from a shaded window of the house. He watched as the two conversed, surprised at what he saw. Then watched as the two sadly walked away. The eavesdropper sat back, emotions and logic warring.

"She ran away again didn't she Lawrence?" Someone said behind him after several minuets had passed and the two out on the street were long gone.

"I did it again didn't I?" He said to his wife after a moment.

"…Yes. You did." Julia said coming up to sit beside of him. He rested his forehead against his fist.

"I just wish that child would see that all I'm trying to do is give her what's best for her. But dammit she never seems to want it."

"That's part of the problem…She's not a child anymore. And even when she was, she was always too smart for her own good. She's always known what's best for her, even if it is different than what's best for you, or me. The life that we have would have only caged her in and she knew it too. And she has that same stubborn streak that you have to get whatever she wants despite what anyone else does or says."

"Yes but why this…why him?"

"I can't tell you…only she can. All we can do is trust her judgment after all. But you can be certain that she's not in any danger from that person. She wouldn't tolerate it."

"No. She would not. But she can't go up against the world, no matter how much she thinks she can."

"No…"

"And the one time she asks me for help, the one time she asks me for _anything_ I tell her no. Force her away. Again."

"So what are you going to do about it? You can't change the past but you can atone for it. What will you do now?"

-L&P-

Knives paced his small confining hotel room nervously. They had been gone for over two hours now, and he was starting to get worried. There was always the chance that her parents had agreed to help them and they all were working out the details now…but Knives doubted it. It was more likely that the two of them had been shunned and had run into some kind of trouble on the way back. The thought of seeing either of their faces in agony again was too much for him to take.

Knives strapped on his holster and threw on his jacket. He marched down the hall but was surprised to see a flash of red disappear into a room. Their room. Immensely relived, Knives ran over and stepped in without even bothering to knock.

"Well? How'd it go?" Knives asked anxiously as he entered the room. His heart fell at the expression on Vash'es face and the fact that Meryl refused to unbury herself from his shoulder to look at him. "Not good…" He said to himself. "What happened?"

"They couldn't get past my name." Vash said bitterly, sitting down on the bed, holding Meryl. "I tried to be as nice and polite as I could be, but I suppose it wasn't enough…"

"Don't even begin to think this is your fault!" Meryl said vehemently, tears of anger shining in her eyes. "It's his fault. It's all his fault! For being such a blind jerk and thinking that he's the only one right in the world and to hell with anybody that says different! He actually made me try to _choose_ between the two of you, can you believe that?" She asked. Vash didn't know how to respond to that. He had heard nearly the whole thing but he couldn't believe that someone could be that cold to someone so special as Meryl. And it was his daughter no less.

Knives sighed deeply. "…So what now?" He asked softly, almost to where the question couldn't be heard. "Are you going to try again or will you give up?"

"I…I don't know what to do Knives…I just don't know anymore…This was our only chance…" Vash sighed then held Meryl close, burying his face in her hair. Meryl just quietly cried in agreement. Knives looked away sadly then clenched his fists tight.

"Hey!" He said sternly. The two looked up at him, puzzled. "You two are _not_ going to give up on this. I forbid it. There will be a way to get through this, you just have to keep trying and you have to keep hoping. Now dammit, if the two of you managed to change me from what I was _then_…to what I am _now_…then anything is possible. Do you hear me?" He said glaring down at them, daring them to disagree with him. Meryl managed a smile and Vash actually laughed a little.

"Thanks Knives…Although I never quite expected you to be the one to give out pep talks." Vash said, giving Knives a sincere smile.

"I am just pointing out the obvious. I don't like self defeating attitudes. Especially from you two optimistic pests…" They laughed at this. One last thing… "You two stay here for a minuet…" Knives said and walked out of the room leaving them in confusion.

"Knives is acting…strange." Meryl said climbing down off of Vash'es lap onto the bed.

"Yeah…but it's a nice strange. I've never seen him so hopeful. And knowing him he'll get pissed if we don't perk up some." Meryl laughed deeply at this.

"Yeah…you're right. And you know his temper."

"Talking about me?" Knives asked, walking back into the room with a half full bottle and two glasses.

"No uhh…we were…um…"

"You're a horrible liar Vash." Knives said bluntly, filling the glasses. "Here. Drink it. You two are obviously stressed out by today and need to relax. Go on." He encouraged, no, more like commanded. Vash and Meryl exchanged humored looks and gave in and drank what was given to them.

"Aren't you going to drink any?" Meryl asked pointing to the remaining fluid in the bottle.

"No. I'm saving the rest for tonight. I have…difficulties sleeping." Knives said leaning against the desk in the hotel room.

"How come?"

"…I have nightmares…About everything that I've done. It haunts me in my dreams…"

"Knives…I've been meaning to talk to you about…drinking…and stuff…" Vash said, trailing off sleepily at the end. He glanced down briefly as Meryl slumped over the pillows, fast asleep. Vash struggled to look up at Knives with a hurt and questioning look in his eyes.

Knives watched quietly as Vash finally succumbed to the effects of the drug and fell over on the bed. He looked at the two of them for a long time, studying their faces, listening to the sounds of their breathing, committing every single detail about them to memory. Even though their sleep was unnatural, tented by betrayal, it was still precious to him and he wanted to remember everything as it was in this point in time…Because it would be the last memory he would ever have of them.

Stoically, Knives drew out a sheet of paper and a pen from the top desk drawer and began to write, titling it 'Everyone':

_Before I begin what I have to say I would first like to apologize for drugging you all, but there was no other way if I was going to do what I needed to do._

_ My biggest regret is that I've known you all for too short a time. While putting up with me may have seemed an eternity at times, from my perspective it has been but a blink of the eye. And it is utterly shameful that out of a hundred and thirty three years of living, thirty four next month, that I have only truly lived for a small handful of days. My life has been spent in a storm of rage, jealously, fear, and hate. Words cannot describe how truly ashamed I am of this. Of what I have done. You all gave to me the heart I never thought I would possess. But the problem in gaining a heart is that it can be broken. Unfortunately for me, these two events happened simultaneously._

_ You people truly are amazing…You all knew what I was, what I have done, live in the hell I have condemned us all to…and yet you still reached out for me. I was like a caged animal that knew nothing but rage and violence, but with patience, love, and humanity you've changed me from that animal to a man. If only the world would be so forgiving…_

_ Even though it was my choice, my doing…you, my brother, are the lightening rod of my sins. You, a gentle soul who has done nothing wrong, are forced to live with the weight of the world on your shoulders. And the amazing thing is…you accept it. And if this were not enough you constantly seek out guilt for yourself when none need be assigned. This martyring characteristic that defines you is both noble and heartbreaking. Even a selfish and torn being such as myself can see the honor of self sacrifice for the sake and love of others. This is why, Vash, I am taking back my sin. And even more so, I am taking your name. Both you and the world cannot rest until the man known as Vash the Stampede is dead…and a death I can give them._

_ I have long considered this option, but I held out for the hope of another solution, but there is none to find and I know what I must do. I want you all to live in peace, and I beg you…if you must remember me…remember only the man, not the demon. I know what I am about to do in no way makes up for my bloody past but I take solace in this quote: 'whoever saves one life saves the world entire'. And I cannot think of a life more deserving of being saved. I love you my brother, and I love the rest of you as well._

_ Thank you._

_ Farewell._

Knives

Knives sighed deeply before wearily pushing away from the desk. He walked over to Vash and quietly studied his face for a long stretching moment, then with a silent apology began removing his clothes. Once he was finished, Knives tossed away his own worn out things and began donning the stolen apparel.

"Damn buttons…" He muttered to himself, doing up the red duster. Being twins, everything fit him perfectly down to the boots. Knives glanced down at his bare left arm and frowned. Perhaps he could wear the leather covering that Vash used, but he would have to cut it in places to allow himself some movement. He fished out the blade he kept in his old jacket pocket and got to work. Once he finished and put it on he bent and stretched, testing it out. It was still stiff but he could live with it.

Hmm…live with it, Knives mused. He wouldn't have to live with it for very much longer. He walked over to a mirror and quietly studied himself. Passable, Knives thought, running his fingers through his hair to make it stand up more. But still…something was off. Perhaps it was his blue eyes…perhaps it was the mark missing from under his eye…He could fix that easily enough by using ink from the pen, and their eye colors were close enough. Ah…the earring.

Knives walked back over to Vash and removed the earring, but paused. He felt sorry for leaving his brother like this. As if he wouldn't be confused enough when he woke up, it didn't have to be in nothing but his underclothes as well. Picking up his old things, Knives gently redressed him.

He looked at the little earring in his hand, grabbed the pen and went to a mirror once more. He quickly drew in the mark and tossed the pen away over his shoulder. He then winced as he forced the small metallic object through his ear. Once he had finished he looked down at the small smearing of blood on his fingertips. Soon his fingers began to shake.

He didn't want to die. No…He didn't want to _die_! He wanted to live…with them. To hear them laugh, play, bicker, he wanted to spend the rest of his life with them. He didn't _want_ to _die_! But he had to…He finally had to pay for his sins. And if he did not do what needed to be done now…his brother would suffer…And that he could not allow. The blood on his fingers…how much more of it would be spilt today? Would he die quickly with a shot to the heart or the head, or would he slowly bleed to death, chocking on his own blood? Either way…his blood was going into the dry earth today. He had chosen this world to make his stand and now he would do just that, and then he would join it…

Knives stood, straightening himself up and stilling his trembling hands. He had to do this now…and he could show no fear…no hesitation. He strapped on the other holster, and checked for plenty ammo. He had to make sure to drug the pitcher of water in Wolfwood and Millie's room as well. He couldn't have them interfere.

Knives paused and kissed Vash lightly on the forehead, then Meryl, then he turned away. He turned and set off to raise hell, then to probably go down to it.

**A/N:** Not the longest chapter, but like i've said before...not all chapters are made equal. This story is beginning to wind up, but first its really going to hit the fan. And thanks for everyone who's stuck with me up to this point! Later.


	18. Open Ticket

**A/N:** Is it just me or does Knives seem to be stealing the story lately? Well, that's just how things go. This story has taken itself where it wants to, I just work the keyboard (if only my other works were as easy : ). And if anybody skipped the previous chapter I'll warn you now, this one isn't going to be a cheery one. In fact, it was the hardest to write since number thirteen. But don't quit reading on me now (my precious few), there are a few more chapters ahead and I still have a few up my sleeve.

**Chapter Eighteen:**

**Open Ticket**

"Temperature?"

"Normal."

"Pressure?"

"Normal."

"Output?"

"Normal. Hey Chris, why don't you give it a rest huh?" One of the plant technicians called from their seat in the control room. "Every hour you ask the same things and every hour you get the same answers. It's a plant…it's gonna run forever."

"And that's exactly why you'll never make supervisor Harrison. You have to keep a close watch on these things. Yeah, they're designed to run forever but you never know when something will go wrong and it'll blow up on you." Chris said tossing down his checklist beside his monitor.

It was just another long monotonous twelve hour shift down at number seven. Checking the same things twelve times and getting the same answers twelve times. At times he felt tempted to slack off some and take the day easy. But whenever he thought of doing so the image of a giant crater and thousands of angry people demanding to know what went wrong came to mind. He shivered.

"Whatever Chris, I would sooner shoot myself then make supervisor. I don't want the pressure and I don't want my head in the noose if something does happen. What I do want is to sit back and finish my book." Harrison said picking up the old paperback that he had set aside to check the computer.

"You are so lazy it's unbelievable." Another technician down the line said. "Any lazier and you would be a security guard."

"Ha ha." The uniformed man at the door said. "You're too much of a wimp to make security."

"How much effort does it take to carry a gun, really?" Harrison asked. The security guard was about to retort to this but was knocked back by a bullet in the shoulder. The technicians flinched at the loud gunshot in the closed in metal space. They all rose to their feet as a man in red strolled on in as if he owned the place. They all noted the large gun in his hand and the other at his side.

"Who the hell…" Chris began but was thrown back in pain and shock as he was shot as well.

"Let's just cut the small talk, shall we?" Knives said, sizing up everyone in the room and seeing immediately that they would be no threat to his plan.

"What…Why are you doing this?" A timid voice in the back asked.

"Now what did I just say?" Knives demanded, cocking back the hammer with his thumb. "But for the sake of argument let's just say that I'm doing something that should have been done years ago. And just in case anyone in this room is too dense to get the hint…I'll go ahead and say it…Out." The man in red coolly ordered. A few of the technicians stooped to help up their fallen supervisor, but other than that no one moved. Knives raised one eyebrow and drew the other gun.

"Are you people actually going to just stand there and force me to waste my bullets or are you going to leave? I can't work without a little peace so...Out NOW!" They all moved forward as one but paused once they saw that the intruder stood between them and the exit. Knives stepped aside with a slight bow and they rushed on past. One considerate soul actually paused and grabbed the downed security guard and dragged him away.

Knives sighed in irritation. He hadn't wanted to shoot those men, but it had to look real. He rushed over to the primary consol and got to work. Normally something such as what he had in mind would only take a matter of seconds, but now he had to go about things the hard way. The human way.

With a quick look over his shoulder at the door he holstered his guns and began typing. Word would be getting out about this _very_ quickly and he had no time to waste. If this was truly going to work he couldn't afford to get cornered in here. Not here. Another life would not be lost during this if he had any say about it. He already knew where he was going to make his last stand, and it wasn't here.

Finished, he drew the guns once more and fled out of the control center. One down…three to go...he thought as he ran. Outside hovering above the city number seven began to pulse ominously.

-L&P-

Robert Trent scowled down at his cup of cooling coffee. Cold disgusting black coffee…the same that they served in all official buildings. He glanced down at his wrist watch…fifteen more minuets until show time. He really didn't want to be here…to have to go through with this. At forty seven and head of the federal agency he has seen countless of tense situations. Shootouts, hostage situations, terrorist bombings, bringing down the toughest outlaws that this planet has ever seen, and probably Earth has ever seen as well. He's gone through all of this and never once had lost his nerve. But the very thought of going into a room for a meeting of the leaders made him sweat rivers.

Once again he desperately wished that he was back in January at his own desk. But then again, he bitterly noted, that desk might not be his for much longer. That's what this little event here in December was all about. The heads of the five remaining cities had called to discuss the ever present threat of the humanoid typhoon. But his inside sources had informed him that the main reason for this meeting was Trent himself, and his gross incompetence in not only failing to apprehend the outlaw but allowing the weapons of mass destruction to be stolen literarily out from under his nose.

Trent rubbed his shoulder where that crucifix type weapon had landed on him. That shoulder has never been the same since but he wasn't about to let anyone else know that. He was already a laughing stock and he knew it, he didn't need word of the injury spreading about as well. What these fool leaders didn't know was that in dragging him to this fruitless meeting they were pulling him away from the work he needed to be doing. And he was getting so close!

After that fiasco in January he had started the hunt with a vengeance. The way of Stryfe's escape had been found and the unconscious guards reprimanded severely short of locking them away as well. The security in May had been hyped up to the point of paranoia for months. The ever present fear of another destroyed city faded with the trail, and Trent began to think that once again, he had lost him. Then reports came in from New Oregon that he had been sighted and that he was involved in the issues of the new ship.

Trent had rushed over there and had interviewed in person the head scientist of the ship, a little old man that kept insisting that Trent call him 'Doc'. He soon learned that Vash had joined the ship in the guise of a technician, which made sense considering his use and knowledge of the lost technologies, and was not only tampering with the plant but stealing vital components of technology. Trent had shuddered at the thought of what that man could possibly be creating now. The trail had gone hot and cold over the span of several little towns. Until reports came in of a malfunctioning plant that had nearly overloaded.

Trent and his men had combed over the city carefully looking for any sort of clues. Eventually the trial led him to the hospital where he had, after extensive interrogating, found out that the head doctor had knowingly treated the outlaw for injuries sustained in an explosion. While Trent had made it clear that he strongly disapproved of the doctors actions, he took no action against the man for upholding his medical responsibilities. He had also discovered, with no real surprise, that a woman matching Stryfe's description was in his company.

After this the trail had gone cold for a couple more months. Every town, both occupied and abandoned, had been combed over in their search for the outlaw while he was still vulnerable. But no new leads had been found. And now, Trent bitterly noted, instead of going out and hunting for the man…he was stuck here for this meeting to be scolded by a bunch of politicians who knew nothing about upholding the law, much less enforcing it.

Trent glanced down at his watch again. Show time, he sighed to himself. He dumped the rest of his stale coffee into the pot of an already dying plant and strolled on into the conference room as if he had been the one to call this meeting, not be the subject of it. Five pairs of eyes settled on him as he entered. Wordlessly he settled into one of the two empty seats and awaited his fate. Being the host city of this meeting, the mayor of December stood and brought the meeting to a start.

"Today we are gathered here to discuss a serious problem that has been plaguing this planet and also to discuss a secondary problem stemming from it. I believe that we all, myself included, prayed that the fate that befell July was just a one time incident. A nightmare that we would never have to endure again. Although the bounty put into place had proved ineffective, as the years rolled on it seemed like July was the end of it. Then we lost Augusta…" During the pause they all looked at the empty seat beside of Trent. A few paused to glare at him before turning their attention back to the speaker. "Recently January has been put under danger and threats had been made on May. It seems as if this demon is out to systematically destroy the seven primary cities, soon to move onto the secondary until this world is completely uninhabitable for humanity. Trent…care to give a brief explanation of how such destruction is possible?" The mayor of December asked, politely yet distastefully. Trent pushed back his exasperation and stood.

"Unlike some rumors state, the destruction is not of nuclear origin. It is in fact a variation of plant technology. This corresponds with the initial belief that July was destroyed by multi-plant malfunction."

"And how are you certain that the destruction was caused by this new technology instead of said malfunction?" The mayor of June asked.

"Well for one thing the energy resulting from this blast was channeled. This is known from destruction patterns and eye witness accounts of July, Augusta, and the fifth moon. A typical plant explosion spreads out from a focal point. Just a blast, no path, For another thing, a plant malfunction is _extremely_ rare. And multi-plant malfunction is unheard of."

"Not if they were tampered with."

"And thirdly…I know that is it's a new kind of plant technology because I have held it in my own two hands." The slight murmurings and uncomfortable shifting ceased as this last statement fully ensnared the listeners attention, other than the mayors of January and December who were already aware of this. Trent continued. "It is very cleverly disguised. Normally this technology would be seen as a gun, two actually, and would fully function as such. But in a hidden compartment above the barrels are what could only be described as micro-plants. They are incredibly small, about the size of your thumb at most, but the output they have achieved is far above that of any typical plant."

"But how can something like that be possible? Yes, plants can put out tremendous amounts of energy, but they have their limits. How can ones so small do so much?"

"This inconsistency struck me as well." Trent admitted. "My father was a plant engineer so I am not completely ignorant of the technology. It seemed to me that something was missing. That there was some missing piece to these weapons. Knowledge is power or so they say, and finding out what the key is to activating that technology might also proved the answer of how to block it. Or even better yet…how to stop it. It was along this line of reasoning that led me to the decision to have the weapons sent off to be studied by plant technicians."

"And their results?"

"They never had a chance to examine the weapons." The mayor of January interrupted bitterly.

"What? And why not?"

"…And that brings us to our second problem." December said, pointedly looking at Trent. Trent sighed inwardly. Whatever points he may have earned with his audience by his explanation of what had been before magic and mystery was soon to be obliterated in the face of his bitter mistake. It may very well be a mistake that could bring this world to ruin. Whatever their judgment was…he deserved it.

"Trent. You have been the head of the federal agency for nearly fifteen years now. One could possibly say that you've spent your entire career trying to put a stop to Vash the Stampede, but you've failed. And the one time it seemed as if you could finally put a stop to this by actually obtaining these weapons of mass destruction, you allow them to be stolen from you."

"Stryfe had vital insider information. We were seeking her out anyway."

"You practically handed those weapons over on a silver platter."

"Her background gave us no reason to believe…"

"And now with all your effort and resources you can't seem to track this man down and stop him! How many more cities will have to be destroyed before this ends? And you practically hand delivered the means of it!"

"Not necessarily!" Trent shouted over the mayor, slamming his hands down of the table. His outburst stunned the other man for a moment, allowing him to continue. "I do not think any further threat lie in those guns."

"And what is your reasoning in this?" The mayor of Novemberton, a former friend of Trent's and therefore the least hostile of the five asked.

"Because. There have been confirmed reports of him being in the new ship at New Oregon for over _five_ months. Whatever transpired over in Demitrihi must have damaged those weapons. Perhaps this is the only thing that spared January."

"Perhaps January was not the intended target. What if the target is another city?" January countered.

"Hold on for just a moment. The both of you are talking as if attacks are imminent. Need I remind you that over twenty years have passed since July and the incident at Augusta?" Novemberton threw in.

"Oh please…it's obvious that Trent is trying to play like he knows about all of this so he sounds competent enough to keep his job." May snapped. Trent glared at the man.

"That is not the primary issue at hand. What in the world would give you any indication that there will be another incident soon?"

Before the argument could continue further the door burst open and a rather flustered assistant made straight for the mayor of December. Several of the group swore and bristled at being so rudely interrupted, but the mayor listened to the urgent whispers quietly. Soon all the color drained from his face. Upon seeing that look Trent's instincts kicked into high gear. He knew before anything was said and done that something big was about to happen.

"What is it mayor?" he asked calmly, standing up. The man floundered for a moment then regained his ability to speak.

"W-we need to evacuate. Plants seven, eight, and nine are reacting out of control. An intruder had been reported breaking into the facilities and tampering with the systems." The assistant ran from the room and immediately the other four mayors rose and began to clear out of the room. Soon the only two left in the conference room was December and Trent himself.

"Almost ironic, huh? Speak of the devil himself…I told you that those weapons were damaged, now he's defaulting on the multi-plant malfunction." Trent said almost casually. The meeting had him terrified, but this…this was his element.

"And are you sure that it's him? From so little information?" The mayor faintly asked him, the thoughts of a third empty chair in the next meeting running through his mind.

"I believe so but it can easily be confirmed. Do you have monitor systems in your plants here?"

"W-Why yes…The feed ties into the federal building next door. But it's t-too late. It's already happening…"

"Now you listen here…." Trent growled, grabbing the stuttering man by his collar. "It's not too late. I can stop this but you need to give me carte blanch. Direct control of any and everything this city has to offer while you and the civilians evacuate. Do you hear me?"

"Y-yes…just do what you have to do. Don't waste you time standing around here!"

"I'm already gone…" Trent said releasing him and striding out of the room. Over the course of the years as the head of the feds Trent had been eluded, evaded, and mocked countless times by that man. And all the while the damages and losses kept piling higher and higher. Well no more. This ends today, he thought.

He was the face of utter calm and control amidst the quickly panicking crowd. Even his assistants seemed skittish. Trent trusted that he had picked them out well enough that they would stick by him rather than bolt, but this thought was pushed to the back of his mind. The only focus he had at the moment was verification. Quickly moving to the federal building next door, Trent immediately sought out the plant monitor stations. He noted that that several of the monitors were offline.

"Retrieve the latest footage from number nine." Trent ordered on of the men at his side. The man nodded and immediately set to the task. Trent leaned forward as the static on the screen switched over to that of a hallway. The metallic corridor stood dark and empty for several long moments. Then from the far end of the hall appeared a tall man in a long duster running, and then coming to a halt directly in the sights of the camera, although at the time he appeared unaware of it. The picture came in as only grays, but Trent could accurately guess the color of the coat and the spiky hair. The man of the monitor hesitated, obviously marshalling together his thoughts. Then he noticed the camera observing him. He studied it for a moment as it studied him, then with a slight smirk he brought up a gun and leveled at the device. The screen returned to static once again.

That was it...that was him…Trent would have recognized that gun anywhere.

"Sir?" One of his assistants asked as Trent remained staring at the monitor for several long moments. The man's voice shook him out of it.

"We got him now…" Trent whispered.

-L&P-

"I hate these big cities." Wolfwood griped, hoisting the bag of supplies up into a better grip. "People are so pushy, pretentious, and selfish. They're just soft and have this self entitlement mentality without ever doing any real work for it. Spoiled brats…"

"They just don't know any better dear, that's all." Millie said, pulling out the keys to their hotel room and opening the door. "I grew up on a farm so I've always had to do hard work. These people were just born lucky."

"Lucky's not quite the word I would have used to describe them." Wolfwood said, setting down the bag on the desk. He began taking the things out and sorting them. Pudding, donuts, brownies…what a bunch of junk food junkies they were.

"Hmm! Pudding!" Millie said snatching up a cup. "Yummm."

"You go on and enjoy. I'll go drop these off to the others before they go into sugar withdrawal. You know, you guys are starting to make me feel left out. I need to pick up a new vice." Wolfwood told her. Millie chucked through a mouthful of pudding as Wolfwood left with the box of donuts and brownies. He wasn't sure if Vash and Meryl had gotten back yet. With the distance Meryl had said that they had to travel and at the rate Vash was able to walk, Wolfwood doubted it. So he decided to make the drop off to Knives first.

"Knives?" Wolfwood called out, knocking. When he got no reply he tested the door knob. It turned easily and swung open wide. Curious, Wolfwood peered inside. Knives was always cautious to a fault, even with him being armed now, so it was a slight surprise to see the door unlocked. The bed looked to be unslept in and the keys to the room were sticking out from under the paws of a black cat that sat drowsing on the desk. Odd, Wolfwood thought, setting the box down and taking the keys. Something wasn't setting right with him. He turned and left for Vash and Meryl's room. Perhaps they were back and Knives was with them.

Wolfwood knocked, received no reply, tested the door, and found it locked. He shrugged and returned back to his own room. He didn't know what was going on and he was too annoyed and tired to care.

"Vash and Meryl still not back?" Millie asked as Wolfwood returned.

"Nope. And Knives isn't around either."

"Oh well, he's been restless lately anyway. He's probably out for a walk. And I hope that those two taking a long time is a good sign that Meryl is working out things with her family."

"Well yeah, that's true. I guess it's a little harder to get out of that paranoid pessimistic mindset that I've had for most of my life."

"Being cautious doesn't make you pessimistic. It just shows that you're careful." Millie said, finishing up her third cup of pudding. Wolfwood smiled, but the smile didn't reach his eyes. Something didn't feel right. He reached for the pitcher of water setting by the bed stand and poured himself a glass, pondering things over.

Before he took a drink Millie stopped him with a question.

"Was it me or did something seem strange as we were heading home?" She asked, opening up a fourth cup.

"Watch out hon, I think my paranoia's rubbing off on you." He laughed.

"Not like that. I mean…didn't it seem that things out on the street were starting to get…I don't know, really busy to you?"

"I noticed that too. I thought it was just my imagination." Wolfwood said setting down the glass of water. He walked over to the window and peered out. The activity in the street did seem to be increased notably. And Wolfwood could have sworn that he saw in the mix several people in uniforms running from one building to the next. That unsettled feeling he had came back with a vengeance.

Suddenly there was the sound of pounding on the door several rooms down, then next door, then their door. This was accompanied by the shouting of several people.

"All tenants! Come out now! An evacuation order has been put into effect for the city of December! For your own safety come out now!"

"What the hell is going on?" Wolfwood demanded, stepping out into the hall, his demands mirroring that of several others that had also appeared in the hall. "Evacuation order for what? What's happening?" He asked the officer.

"Everyone needs to leave December in an orderly yet rapid fashion. Three plants are malfunctioning and it has been confirmed that Vash the Stampede is the one responsible for it…December is the next to be destroyed." The man told them, his wavering voice betraying the calm exterior he tried to portray. Immediately the tenants in the hall flew into a panic and began to flee. Wolfwood and Millie exchanged looks and immediately ran to Vash'es room. They both pounded on the door and called out for them to open up, but there was no reply from the other side.

"Oh to hell with this!" Wolfwood shouted, then drew back and kicked the door down. At first glance Wolfwood thought that Meryl and Knives were asleep together on the bed, but a second glance reveled the longer richer colored hair of Vash, not Knives.

"What…Why…" Millie paused, puzzling over the fact that Vash was dressed in Knives'es things.

"Something's up…" Wolfwood muttered, then began to shake the sleeping man to wake him. "Hey! Wake up! Vash! Wake up!"

"I can't get Meryl to wake up either Nic!" Millie cried out, still trying to rouse the smaller woman.

"I think that they've been drugged, but why…" Wolfwood looked about for any clue as to what happened. He spotted a single piece of paper sitting on the desk. In two steps he was at the desk reading. "…Dammit…Dammit!...DAMMIT!" Wolfwood shouted wadding up the letter and throwing it aside. "That…IDITOT!" His voice twisting up in grief and rage. Millie just looked on at this outburst with trepidation. "It's Knives! Knives drugged them. He's pretending to be Vash so he can get killed so the hunt will be called off!"

"What! No!" Millie cried out, horrified. "We can't let him do this! We can't let him die!"

"I agree. You stay here and watch over these two. Try and wake them up. I'll go stop Knives!"

"Hurry!" Mille called out to him as he ran from the room.

-L&P-

Knives finished entering the last of the data. And that was it. He was through. Number ten had been altered and from what he's seen while making his way over here to then the city was already worked up into a fine panic. Knives turned away from the consol and began to run. He was finished altering the plants but he couldn't afford to stay here. He had to somehow avoid the crowds and authorities and make it over to number eleven. Eleven was already long dead, so it wouldn't matter any if the people used drastic measures to dispose of him and the greater the destruction he went down with the smaller the chances that he would be identified as anyone other than his brother.

His primary concern was that his left arm would give him away. Knives briefly wondered if there was any way to get rid of it before his time was up, then he laughed. Here he was, raising Cain in the city, facing a horrible death that was probably less than an hour away, and his biggest concern was about his arm? He laughed hysterically as he ran through the halls, the metallic echo making the laughter sound even more manic. Well, he had often been accused of being crazy in his lifetime; Knives now understood where they had been coming from.

He rounded the corner and ran out the open door to come face to face with about twenty riflemen aiming directly at him.

"Fire!" was the commanders cry whenever Knives ran into sight. Instinctively Knives ducked behind the open door, the bullets pinging deafeningly off of the thick metal. In the split second it took the men to eject the empty cartridges and take aim again, Knives had already retreated back inside, locking the door after him.

Not here….Not now…he desperately thought, all hysterics gone now. He had to get out of here; this wasn't the place he had chosen to die. He wasn't ready to die…

If those deputies knew that he was in here then they probably already had all the exits covered. He would just have to take an…alternate route outside. But from there on he would just have to play it by ear. Knives found the service lift for the structural supports and slammed a fist down over the 'up' button. With a protesting groan the machine stirred to life, slowly taking him up several stories.

The agonizingly slow ride gave him too much time to think. He didn't want to think, he wanted to take action. The moment he stopped moving the memories and their faces would flood back to him. A mocking reminder of all he was about to lose.

"Stop it. Stop it!" Knives cried out, holding his head tightly in his hands. Rem had always told them that the ticket to the future was always open, that you and you alone decide your fate. But she never told them what to do if your ticket was stamped and your destiny was laid out before you…and you changed your mind. That somewhere along down the line of your life you learned that the choice you thought was right at the time was so horribly wrong. He was only a child then! A child with too much power and too much intelligence but woefully short on wisdom. His decision, his mistake, sealed his fate. No Rem…Knives thought. He disagreed with her once more. The ticket to the future wasn't always open…his future would never be.

The lift ground to a grinding halt. Knives stepped trough the eroding doors into the blindingly bright light of the day. He blinked for a moment, half expecting to hear the blast of multiple guns then nothing more, but nothing happened. From this platform high above the ground, Knives could almost see all of December stretched out before him. After just half a second of taking in the wondrous sight, Knives turned away and began looking around for a way to get over to number eleven.

With a touch of imagination, a dash of improvisation, and a heaping pile of insanity, Knives found a way…but he knew that he wasn't going to like it.

-L&P-

The streets were an absolute pain in the ass to try and navigate. There were people, cars, and thomases everywhere. Many of the people were in a frenzied panic trying to escape the city, but a good majority of them were _trying_ to get to where the action was taking place.

Wolfwood swore as his gun was nearly pulled from his grasp by the jostling of the throng for the umpteenth time. From what he had gathered, every law enforcement officer, even ordinary security guards, had been pulled into action and the available technicians were frantic in trying to calm down the reacting plants. Wolfwood was certain that there was a good deal of looting going on in other parts of the city but it seemed that most of December was solely focused on the event at hand. And that was taking place at number ten.

Personally, he wanted to find Knives and beat the hell out of the man. What was he _thinking_? Taking such drastic measures…In his little note he had made it sound as if this were the only option, that death was the only solution. Wolfwood bristled as the thought reminded him of how he used to think. But this wasn't the only way to solve the problem. There was always another way! DAMN him for being so self defeating and hopeless!

The purely livid look that Wolfwood wore granted him easier passage through the people, but he hardly noticed. He was forced to come to a stop when he came to a solid wall of people. Despite safety and sanity, the crowd gathering around the badly fluctuating plant was massive. Wolfwood snarled at the bloodlust of the December populace, a distant part of himself sided with Knives'es old reasoning. Distant gun reports and a unified crying out of the crowd shook Wolfwood from his dark thoughts. He looked up to see what had caught everyone else's attention.

-L&P-

What was he doing? Get to number eleven, right, that fact had already been established, but really…what the _hell_ was he doing? Knives pondered over this as he climbed higher. It had seemed so much simpler whenever he was putting the plan together, but now that the execution stage had been reached he was having second thoughts. Climb up, reach the support cables, shoot it, swing down and around the other side of the plant, land on the building on the other side of the street and run onto number eleven. Simple.

Yeah right.

From the sudden outcry from the crowd below told Knives that he had been spotted. Well that was a small wonder, what with this flashy red coat of Vash'es. No wonder his brother had as many scars as he did. This thing just screamed 'hey, look at me!'. Something low key would have been much more practical.

"But like I've always said, he never did make much sense." Knives muttered to himself, smirking. The sound of gunfire quickly wiped away the smile. He tried to hide himself behind the steel beam as much as possible. Soon another problem became glaringly clear to him, he couldn't reach the cables.

If he climbed much higher, he would run the risk of getting too close to the power lines and possible get himself electrocuted. But just maybe…Knives thought quickly for a moment, then laughed. If anything this should convince the crowd that he was certainly his brother, because only Vash would be insane enough to try this.

"Ok…here goes…" He muttered, then leapt out into the air as far as he could. Two perfectly aimed shots snapped the cord from its anchoring. As it whipped through the air it came close enough, as he calculated it would, for Knives to latch onto mid fall. The crowd below erupted into a roar of noise. The very people who were baying for his blood moments ago were now whooping excitedly at the stunt he had just pulled. Humans…Knives thought as he swung down towards the plant.

Thankfully, the cord didn't lash down directly towards the plant but came at it towards an angle, saving him from a potentially lethally hard impact. With a bone jarring landing against the glass, Knives skidded to a halt, hanging halfway down bulb from the severed cable like a rock climber. The gunfire from below abruptly stopped, the gunmen fearful of damaging the plant.

Knives paused for a moment to catch his breath and convince his heart to start up again. He saw through the glass the fluctuating and panicking plant and whispered an apology to it. Kicking back from the glass and swinging to the side, he quickly made his way around to the other side of the plant, hoping to reach the building before the deputies could flood the place. Just as he was running sideways along the glass preparing to leap out into the air for the building, he abruptly jerked to a halt, the cable nearly pulling from his grasp. Swinging back to the glass with enough force to knock the wind out of him, Knives looked to see what had stopped him.

He was out of slack. The cable he had chosen was not long enough to go through with this particular stunt, and if he jumped from here he would most defiantly fall short. And he was in no position to latch onto a new cable even if he was willing to jeopardize the plant's support system for one.

"Dammit!" He shouted out into the wind. By now the forces on the ground were wise to his intentions and were scrambling over one another to reach his chosen landing zone before he did. He looked around for something, anything to get him out of this. There just had to be a way!

A glinting shine from across the street on the rooftop caught his eye. Knives squinted and with a shock recognized the dark haired, dark clothed figure on the roof top. But most of all he saw that said figure was about ready to fire his custom made weapon.

Trent's forces came to an abrupt stop as an abandoned car on the street they were racing along suddenly erupted into a ball of flame. They spotted the cause of the destruction just as the figure on the rooftop launched another missile, destroying another car and blocking their path.

Knives smirked, thankful for the distraction then did the only thing he could do…he let go. He slid down the glass, breath hitching up in fear. For a few terrifying moments he freefell then landed hard on one of the base support columns, and then quickly and roughly slid down to land in an inelegant heap on the ground. After a quick assessment of himself for injury, and a moment of marveling that he hadn't broke anything yet, Knives was up and running full tilt into the weaving maze of the city with the entire police force on his heels.

-L&P-

Trent gazed up at the dead plant, number eleven, his expression that of stone. Time was running out, if the distress of the four altered plants were any indication, but he and his men were not about to go anywhere. The unspoken understanding amongst them was that it would work out just fine if the plants overloaded and took out this entire section of the city, because if they died…he died too. But that would only happen if they kept him boxed in. And the bastard was good but there was no way he could leave number eleven that wasn't in surrender or in a body bag.

Hundreds of ground forces surrounded the facility, and dozens of snipers were set upon every rooftop around in case the lunatic tried to pull another stunt like that. But now that Trent and his forces had the man firmly trapped in, Trent was faced with a very serious question: what now? Storming the facility was out of the question. Past experience with this man told him that this tactic would be useless and result in the loss of many of his men and the fugitive's escape in the chaos. Negotiations were out of the question. The reacting plants would not allow for a lengthy stand off, nor would the raging crowd threatening to break through the barriers held by his men.

He wasn't sure what to do and the thought infuriated him. This thing would have already been over by now if those explosions hadn't saved the bastard. His men were still trying to find the one responsible for that little demolitions display. Trent paused, mulling over the thought. A blast. It would be fast, allowing him and his men time to escape before the plants went off. Number eleven was already dead so there was no threat of an additional explosion there. And while such measures may have seemed extreme to some, Trent had been chasing this man long enough to know well not to underestimate him.

"Captain!" Trent barked out.

"Yes Sir!" on of his men called back, running up to him.

"Get the demo team together. I've just figured out what to do with our little situation here."

"The demo team sir?"

"Now!"

"Yes sir!" The man yelped out and ran off. While his captain was on that task, Trent busied himself by gathering together some of his best men and some of the best form the federal station here in December. Face stoic but eyes dancing with anticipation of action, Trent went about explaining how this situation was going to go down.

"Listen up! We all know who is in that facility over there. We've all heard the rumors; we've all seen the damage. We get a fresh reminder of it every night. And so you all know that it will take more than ordinary means to bring this man down. And take him down we will…and that entire facility with him." Trent received shocked looks and a few murmurings as expected. Ignoring them he continued on. "I have received permission from the mayor of December himself to take any and every means necessary to being that man down before December joins July and Augusta! This game of cat and mouse has gone on for years but it stops now. And it hast to be done quickly if we are to complete evacuations. Unfortunately, while blowing the facility is our best option it has its difficulties. The outer part of the building is one heel thick pure spaceship alloy while the inner workings are of a thinner and weaker metal. Gentlemen, this means that we _cannot_ blow the facility from the outside. A small unit of men, led by myself, will have to infiltrate the facility and plant explosives in strategic areas, avoid being found out and or killed by the outlaw hiding within, and then make it back outside to detonate. This may very well be a suicide mission. I know this, yet I'm going in anyway. I am now giving you seven the option to either walk away now or join me…Now choose."

Trent waited, but not one of the men moved. He allowed himself a small smile. He had expected nothing less.

-L&P-

Knives hunkered down in a small dark room for a moment, trying to catch his breath. He was certainly feeling the effects of being human now, he thought sourly while waiting for the stitch in his side to leave. He could not believe the stunt Wolfwood just pulled. If there was such a thing as an afterlife he was defiantly going to haunt that man.

The amused smirk he wore at the thought quickly faded into a look of worry. He prayed that the priest wouldn't try anything too drastic, such as tell the authorities that Knives wasn't Vash, or even worse…try to rescue his suicidal ass. No, Knives conceded, Wolfwood wouldn't do anything like that. He had too much to lose and out of the entire group Knives was certain that Wolfwood understood the reasoning behind his actions the best. Knives wasn't entirely sure if that was a comforting or troubling thought.

After his breathing had finally eased, Knives slowly peered out into the hall. Satisfied that it was clear, he emerged and began making his way to the offline control room. This plant had to be absolutely surrounded by now, Knives thought. The only thing that puzzled him was why they hadn't made a move yet. They had him trapped, why not go in for the kill?

Perhaps it was simply his brother's reputation that held them at bay. Knives felt a brief flash of annoyance. _Surely_ they were not going to back out of this? Turn it into a siege of sorts? Dammit he had to have pissed them off enough for them to be after his head. Or perhaps the fluctuation of the plants had them on the run. Knives threw his hands up in exasperation. He did not want this to be a waiting game. He didn't want the time to think. And he had programmed the plants to fluctuate for only a short amount of time. He didn't want the Calvary to call his bluff. Some divine force must have heard his silent prayer because when he rounded the corner he was nearly face to face with two men, one of which was none other than Robert Trent.

That split second felt like an eternity to Knives. Surprise still showing on all three of their faces, he locked eyes with Trent. They stared at each other for seemingly ages, unmoving. It was the man accompanying Trent that made the first move, breaking the spell that had fallen. The man quickly raised his gun and took aim. Knives reflexively dodged to the side and shot the man before the officer had a chance to pull the trigger.

Knives watched in quiet shock as the man went down without so much as cry of pain. He had killed him instantly. Without thought and without hesitation. The equipment that the man had scattered out across the hall. Knives dimly recognized them as explosives, but his thoughts were occupied by the fact that he had done it again. He had killed. He hadn't meant to, he thought desperately…it was reflex…

Fiery pain tearing through him and the sound of a gunshot pulled him from his shock. Knives snapped to just as Trent was squeezing off another round. Adding to the agony surging through his midsection, the bullet caught him in the shoulder knocking him back a step. Before the third and final round came, Knives ducked back around the corner. He squeezed off a few shots himself, but keeping his reactions under control this time, making sure that the man was only grazed.

"You bastard!" Knives raged as he ducked behind some piping, voice wavering with pain. "You'll pay for that!"

"Surrender now." A cold authoritative voice called to him. "That is the only way you live. This place is surrounded. It is currently being rigged with explosives, and with those wounds you're not going to last long, much less escape. It's over Vash."

"The hell it is!" Knives called back, halfheartedly trying to stem the flow of blood from his abdomen. "You know as well as I that I've gotten out of far worse situations. This is nothing."

"That's where you're wrong. I'm not letting you go anywhere. My men are under orders to blow this place to hell in ten minuets. And that's with or without me. No one is getting away from me again."

"Oooh…somebody's still sore about that _little_ incident in January." Knives mocked, throwing in a well practiced dark laugh for good measure. "Honestly I'm surprised that you didn't get the cell yourself for such a screw up. How embarrassing."

"Shut the hell up!" Trent's enraged voice echoed in the halls.

"Tell me…did you worthless waste of resources down at the federal building ever figure out how that one was pulled off or is it still as big as a mystery as what happened to July, Augusta, and the moon? Haahahaa!" Knives taunted, firing off two rounds from behind his hiding spot for show.

"I know exactly how you did it you monster. You manipulated the plants to cause that blackout, and then retrieved your traitorous partner from the vents. Your partner _and_ those weapons laced with plant technology responsible for the destruction!" Trent raged, retuning fire.

"Oh so close but no cigar. Care to try again?"

"What?"

"Hopeless…Although I do have to give you credit where credit is due." Knives said, breathing heavily. "You're absolutely right about the plant technologies. Actually I'm impressed that you recognized it for what is was. But you're wrong about the woman."

"Stryfe?" Trent questioned. Perfect, Knives thought, he took the bate. He had been hoping for this opportunity although he had seriously doubted that he would actually be presented with it.

"Pawn is more appropriate than partner. If you find a person's weak points and threaten them enough you can get people to do virtually anything. Although being with the feds I'm sure you know all about that."

"What did you do with her?" Trent demanded peering around the corner firing off a few more shots at Knives which pinged harmlessly off the metal he was hiding behind.

"I kept her around for a while but then I killed her. I think that was back…oh I don't know…sometime after that explosion in that little no name town. You know…that woman could really be annoying at times. Someone had to shut her up." A smirk broke through the grimace of pain for a brief moment at the steady stream of curses at him from the man down the hall. And he was also relived at the thought that the hunt for Meryl would also be called off, but that was only if Trent survived to tell. Somehow, Knives had to get the stubborn fool to leave. But…he just didn't know how he desperately thought sliding down into the floor, leaving streaks of blood behind him on the walls.

"There is one thing I want to know Vash." Trent called to him. "Why? Why the destruction? Why the killing?"

"Because…" Knives tiredly said, letting Vash'es gun slip from his grip, but yet holding tightly to his own. "We deserve it. We deserve to die…We are all consuming, destroying monsters. I recognize this and I'm utterly disgusted by it. 'For there is not a just man upon earth, that doeth good, and sinneth not' and you know what they say…the wages of sin is death. Admit it…no matter how hard we try, we all screw up, we all die." His old words felt bitter in his mouth now, even if they still did hold a ring of truth. He looked down at the blood drenching him and whispered. "I deserve it…"

Knives looked up from the bloody gun sitting in his lap as a pair of legs walked into view. Knives looked up to see Trent staring down at him, gun aimed directly at his head. Trent's eyes were hard, but held a touch of…understanding? Sympathy? Knives looked down again, unwilling to see any such thing directed at him.

"Leave." Knives commanded quietly. His response was the sound of a hammer being pulled back. He continued. "I'm not going anywhere, not like this. And besides…I knew this morning when I started this…I wasn't getting out of it. Not this time..."

"I'm not going to fall for it." Trent said flatly. "So don't even bother."

"I'm not trying to pull one on you." Knives said with a sigh. "I'm dying. But I don't want to go out like this…I would rather go out with a bang than a bang, if you know what I mean." Knives chuckled quietly. "I know I don't deserve it but don't I get a last request? I would rather die in the explosion than at your hand. I got a reputation to think about, you know?"

"…I can't trust you not to make a break for it once I turn my back. Or shoot me for that matter." Trent said quietly after a long moment.

"Easily reminded." Knives said, slowly unloading the guns and throwing the rounds down the hall far away from himself. "And as for me running…just make sure I can't." He said darkly.

"What?" Trent asked, frowning in confusion.

"Right here…" Knives said pointing at his right leg, at the very same spot where he had first been shot. "You have two shots left…I counted. Put one here…and spare one for your peace of mind. Go on…times running out…."

Trent hesitated for a long moment, weighing his options, then slowly lowered the gun and took aim. The shot echoed loudly in the metal halls. Knives clenched his teeth tightly against the scream of pain he wanted to let out, the taste of blood filling his mouth. Breathing heavily, he looked up at Trent and nodded. Trent watched him for a long moment, nodded in return then turned and ran out of sight.

After several moments of silence Knives allowed himself a small sigh of relief. Everything had gone perfectly. He had managed to pass of as his brother, had effectively called off the hunt for Meryl as well, and was about to go out in a way in which no one would be able to identify him as anyone else. It had all gone so perfectly. He couldn't have hoped for it to turn out better. Perfect. But if that was true…if it was perfect…then why was he crying?

He leaned heavily against the piping that he had been taking shelter behind. He didn't even try to fight against the tears. Vash, Meryl, Millie, Wolfwood…he hoped that one day they could forgive him. He wondered how long it would take before they could think back on him without feeling anger or sorrow. Would they ever? Would it even be possible for them to remember the good times with him, the precious few times? Could they? Or would his sins be the only thing the remembered? What he wouldn't give for another chance, just a little more time to be with them. Even it was only one day…one hour…he would take it. There was so much that he had left out in his note, so much left to say. Things that he couldn't find the words for before. He wasn't ready to die yet…he had to tell them…he missed them.

The silence of the building was suffocating, with the only sound his ragged breathing. Would he hear it coming? Would he see it? Did it matter? The minutes ticked on, the tension and anticipation of the end building with every second. A small clinking sound caught his attention. Knives looked down just in time to see everything go white.


	19. Bitter Freedom

**A/N: **This chapter got me really depressed while writing it. I know it eases up a little in the end but dang. Please don't think this is the end people! We still have a few more to go so stick with me! I'm having some rather unfortunate (infuriating) computer problems. I got lucky in posting tonight but I don't know if I'll be so lucky next week. But I'll find a way! And by the way…has everyone forgotten about that little challenge I issued way back in chapter eight? Time's running out to guess it…

**Chapter Nineteen:**

**Bitter Freedom**

The dull pounding ache in his head was almost intense enough to make him wish for unconsciousness once more. But instead he just forced the pain away to someplace in the back of his mind to where he could actually focus enough to open his eyes. Drugs had always had that sort of effect on him. Voicing his displeasure in a low growl, Vash looked up to see a pair of big blue eyes staring worriedly down at him.

"Millie?" Vash groggily asked. How did she get into his room anyway? How did he get into this room anyway?

What?

Vash sat up trying to shake the drug induced fog from his mind. He reached up to rub his eyes but paused when he saw the grey sleeves of Knives'es jacket instead of his worn red ones. He was about to ask Millie what was going on but realized that she had been talking to him at ninety isles an hour for the past minuet and a half.

"…And then there was this great big fuss outside and people were running everywhere an then some people came by and knocked on all the rooms ad said we had to evacuate and…"

"Millie…slow down, you lost me way back there. Now what were you…Meryl?" He started in alarm at the still figure lying in an unnatural position beside of him. He tried to gently shake her awake but she was completely unresponsive.

"It's no good. I've been trying to wake her up myself for a while now. I guess she's more sensitive to the drugs that Knives used than you are." Millie said apologetically, wringing her hands in agitation.

"Drugs? Knives? What…What's going on here? Why am I dressed in his clothes? Why is she passed out on the bed? Dammit I…" Millie interrupted his confused outburst by handing him a folded crinkled piece of paper, sniffling as she did so.

Confused even further by this, and with a deep sense of worry eating at him, Vash unfolded the paper and slowly began to read. With each line, each heartfelt confession, each indication of what his brother was planning on doing Vash felt his heart break a little bit more. By the time he had finished the letter tears were streaming down his face and his hands shook hard enough that the note was in danger of being torn.

"Nic went out to see if he could stop him. I don't know if he can find Knives though, several of the plants are reacting out of control and people are trying to evacuate the city." Millie said, wiping her eyes on her sleeve. "Do you think that it's safe to stay here? That the plants will really overload?"

"No…No. Knives just has them riled up. There would be no way he would actually make them overload. I…I can't let him do this…I have to go stop him." Vash said standing, trying to pull himself together and falling short. "Millie…can you please stay here and watch over Meryl? I…I have to go stop him!" He choked out and fled from the room.

You idiot. You _Idiot_, Vash thought as he ran as quickly as he could through the halls of the hotel then out onto the deserted streets. Knives how could you do something like this to all of us, to _me_? Don't you realize what something like this will do to all of us? There could have been another way! Another way? Vash faltered at the thought, stumbling. This was his fault, he realized with agonizing clarity.

He had been so caught up in his little bleak mood that he had made things out to be hopeless. And when things had failed with Meryl's family…He had forced his brother into taking such drastic measures because _he_ had given up. Knives was undisputedly right in that this action would solve their problems, but Vash wasn't willing to have freedom at that price! He had just got him back and he wasn't about to give up his brother again!

Making his way to the fluctuating plants, Vash took notice of the immense crowd gathering around the dead plant and immediately made his way towards them. His desperation soon gave way to frustration as he simply could not get around the living raging barrier in his way. He had no idea or plan of what he would to if he actually made it past them, and even less of an idea of what he would do if he actually found his brother but all that was besides the point. The only thing that mattered was that he find Knives and save him.

Deciding that it was no use to try and get through the people, Vash looked around for another way to get to eleven. With a quick glance around he determined that he could go via rooftop to at least midway through, from there on he would have to think of something else. Running into an alley, Vash was getting ready to climb up the fire escape when a massive explosion nearly shook him off his feet. Batting away the flashbacks that the detonation gave him, Vash ran back out into the street to see what had happened…Although…in his heart…he already knew.

The crowd that had been riled to the point of stampeding now stood still and silent. Great plumes of smoke curled and twisted up into the air, blocking out the sun. Several long minuets passed in silence. Then, starting at the front, a ripple of chattering and cheering began. The news was spread, echoed, and repeated until the whole of the gathering were united in a single cheer of rejoicing and relief that it was finally over. The man was dead.

The celebratory atmosphere was only amplified as news arrived that plant number seven had been settled down to normal and the others were beginning to calm as well. Those that already fled the city were called back with the good news. Mere minuets after the event, the news was being spread by satellite to the other cities that their biggest threat and greatest fear was now dead. Soon, nearly the entire planet was joining in on the rejoicing.

The jubilation that had overtaken the city of December fell short on one lonely alley however, where a single man sat unnoticed crying long and hard in his bitter freedom.

-L&P-

Wolfwood had only just arrived at number eleven whenever the explosion was set off. It startled him so much he stopped dead in his tracks. He watched as the enormous black cloud rose slowly into the sky and felt the horrible finality of what it meant crushing down on him. He had been too late…

Wolfwood sank down to his knees, letting the forgotten cross fall to the ground, and stared up in shock at the smoky column. No…No. He couldn't have been too late. He simply couldn't have. After saving the crazy plant from being shot by the feds he had to make a run of his own to keep from being apprehended…but it hadn't been that much of a detour. No. Knives was just doing this to get them riled up some more. It didn't mean that he was too late…No. And yet for all his arguing otherwise…Wolfwood knew the truth.

After the crowd began its cheering, Wolfwood retreated back a ways and hid in the backstreets. He just couldn't handle their bloodthirsty celebration. Yes, they were rejoicing because they thought that they were safer now…but they didn't really know…how could they know that they were cheering the death of a good man? It was true that Knives was responsible for all their misery, but he was a changed man, a good man. And now he was gone.

And he had failed…Wolfwood had failed to save him.

He tried to reason that Knives would have had his way no matter what, but it was of no consolation. He had failed. And now he had to go tell Vash that his brother was dead.

"I know…I know it's only wrong to talk to you whenever I really need something. That I should practice what I preach and dish out a little more praise than pleas…but I really need you help with this one lord…" Wolfwood whispered quietly, even though there was no one else in the alleyway to hear him. He looked up to the sky for a brief moment, then back down to the ground. "I…I have…to tell him that Knives is gone…To tell him that I tried to save him but failed. And I know…that he won't take it well. Hell, who would? But please…_please_…don't let it break him. Please don't let this be what pushes him over the edge. And you know that he's come too close too many times…Please help me out…please…"

With nothing left to say in that small heartfelt prayer, Wolfwood wearily stood and shouldered his weapon once more. Stepping out of the alley, he gave one last glance back towards the dissipating smoke, and mournfully made his way back to the hotel.

The door that he had kicked down only a short time ago still lay on the floor. Wolfwood looked up from his feet to see Millie lower her weapon as she recognized him. She opened her mouth to ask him what had happened, but closed it again once she saw the dejected look on his face. Wolfwood looked over to the bed and was surprised to see that Vash was missing. Meryl was sitting up, crying hard into her hands, the crumpled up note beside of her.

"Where's Vash?" Wolfwood asked wearily. "I have…I have to tell him…"

"He woke up not long after you left…" Millie said quietly, sitting down beside of Meryl. "He said that he was going out to try and stop Knives too…"

"He's gone…isn't he?" Meryl whispered quietly. "I can hear the people outside…I can hear what they're saying…"

Wolfwood tried to answer her, to tell her yes, he was gone, but the words seemed to get caught in his throat. He tried again but the pressure on his chest wouldn't allow him to make a sound. Meryl looked up to see the expression on his face and nodded quietly to herself, hiding her face back in her hands.

"I…I'm going to go out…and look for Vash…" Wolfwood managed to choke out at last. He turned around to see the person in question standing in the doorway, and from the weary look on his face…Wolfwood knew that he knew. The girls looked up to see him as well but no on in the room could find any words to say to him.

Vash walked in past Wolfwood, feeling every bit of his hundred and thirty three years, and sat down on the bed. He could feel the eyes of everyone on him, but he didn't care. He looked down at his hands, at the grey sleeves he now wore. The images began to blur as tears slowly began to well up.

"I…I tried to stop him…but I…" Wolfwood stammered out, pleading for forgiveness but hoping for retaliation. He felt as if he fully deserved it. Vash'es only response was to bury his face in his hands and cry.

"H-how could h-he do this!" Millie cried out, unable to hold it in any longer. "Out of, of everybody…h-he would…_should_ have known that you wouldn't have wanted this…None of us would!" She managed to get out before burying her face into a pillow to cry hysterically.

Meryl picked up the little crinkled note, folded it carefully, and held it close. "I'm so sorry…" She said so softly it was barely audible.

"H-he's…g-gone…" Vash barely managed to whisper.

With nothing left to say, the room fell into silence and tears.

-L&P-

Vash sat staring out the window of the small, dark, abysmal hotel room. He had hardly moved from that spot for the past few days. The sun would rise, the sun would set, the stars and moons would shine until the sun rose again. Day after day. And it wasn't as if there was a rush to be anywhere. He was a free man now; he could watch the days away all he wanted. And yet even though he was watching the world…he wasn't seeing it.

Memory after memory passed through his mind. He remembered the days long passed when they were on the seeds ship. It wasn't the serious traumatic events that his mind kept reverting back to, no, it was the lazy days of looking for something to do other than to watch the clouds and butterflies but yet happy that watching was all they had to do. There were memories of long lonely nights in the frigid desert and of how he used to stare up at the stars for hours all the while wondering if somewhere out there Knives was doing the same. Wondering if he was thinking of him too.

But most of all, memoires of the past few years, this last one especially, kept running through his mind over and over again. The showdown. The ship. The fights, tears, confusion. And most hauntingly of all…the happiness. Arguing because they wanted to, not that the felt they had to. Fighting one another with taunts and teases rather than fists and guns. Laughing in spite of the harshness of life rather than with it. So many memories…one right after another. Vash couldn't fight back the small chuckle at the memory of Knives completely drunk and stripping down in that bar. Seamlessly the chuckle turned into a sigh of misery. He couldn't really manage to form any words, such sighs were all he had the heart for anymore.

And he wasn't the only one stunned into stillness and silence. Other than that cursed evening when they had all reunited at the hotel to suffer through the grief that Knives had left in his wake, hardly five words had been spoken between the four of them. No one spoke to him, he spoke to none of them. Distantly Vash knew that he should try to pull himself together some, to reach out to the others, if not everyone Meryl at least. But he just couldn't manage it. He was just too numb.

He could see it eating away at the others as well. Wolfwood had tried to cover up what he was feeling with anger that first day. But before anyone could react to his temper he folded and broke down completely, insisting that he was to blame for failing to stop him. In fact the severity of this reaction momentarily shook Vash from his own pain, never having seen the priest react in such a manner. But after the initial shock and Wolfwood settling into reason that there was nothing that he could have done, the breakdown only cemented further into reality for the four of them that Knives was forever gone.

The girls were teary and subdued. Millie, normally taking upon the role of comforter in difficult situations, fell into a state of silence and stillness. It was almost as if she was seeing the world through a dream instead of reality and was simply waiting to wake up.

Meryl had fallen into nearly as dark a mood as Vash had. At first she had tried to stay with him, a silent yet enduring presence, but more and more frequently she had begun to leave and lock herself away for hours in the bathroom or some other room. Perhaps she couldn't stand to see him in pain. Perhaps she expected him to help relive her own pain. Perhaps it was just the way he looked…They had been twins after all.

Every time one of them looked at him, hell…every time he looked at _himself_, he would see Knives. This was probably only compounded by the fact that he had refused to be separated from Knives'es beloved grey jacket ever since waking up with it. Either way…she kept leaving. Vash faintly wondered if this was going to tear them and the little group apart. He knew he should be worried, but couldn't seem to conjure up the emotion.

He was too numb.

After minutes, hours, days…he didn't know…the door to the hotel room opened up and someone stepped inside. Vash didn't turn away from the window to see who it was. From the heavy footsteps and the smell of cigarette smoke that was carried in as well it was pretty obvious.

"Hey." Wolfwood said flatly.

"Hmm." Was Vash'es equally flat reply.

"Care if I sit down and join you?"

"…"

"I guess that's as close to a yes as I'm gonna get." Wolfwood said pulling up a chair. He sat down heavily and stared out the window with Vash.

Vash wanted to ask him what he wanted but couldn't muster up the effort to form the words. Minuets ticked by and Vash began to find Wolfwood's still silent presence increasingly irritating. Finally the silence became too much for him to ignore anymore.

"I thought you had quit." Vash stated simply, gaze never moving away from the tiny wisp of cloud creeping across the sky.

"Smoking?"

"Yeah."

"Yeah well…my nerves have been shot all to hell and I needed a little extra something to steady me before doing…well, before."

"Before what?"

"…Before coming in here and discussing something with you that needs to be discussed." Vash looked away from the sky long enough to give Wolfwood a cold glare then back again. Wolfwood sighed softly, praying that these next few minuets will go more smoothly then he knew they would. "I guess…how I want to start this is…what are you going to do now?"

"…"

"How long are we going to stay here? The memories of this place are killing us and I know that sure as hell it's killing you."

"Why are you asking me?" Vash asked, somewhat shortly.

"Well…Because…it should be your decision. He was your brother…and now it's your freedom."

"…"

"I'm not saying that I agree with what he did…but I can understand why. And if I were in his position I can't say that I wouldn't have done the same thing." Wolfwood saw Vash stiffen and knew that he was treading on dangerous ground. "Will ya please talk to me man? This is hard enough as it is…" He pleaded, wishing for another cigarette.

"…"

"…I really miss Knives too, more than I know how to say. I only knew your brother for a short amount of time, and I admit that not all my memories of him were pleasant…"

"Just get to the point Wolfwood. What are you wanting to say?" Vash snapped at him.

"What I'm trying to say is that I know you…when you get depressed you take it to a whole different level." Wolfwood snapped back despite himself. "What I want to know is are you going to sit here and stare lifelessly out of that damn window for the rest of your life, hit the bottle, or do something stupid or are you going to make the best of what Knives gave you? I know you don't want to hear this but he died for you. Now are you going to live for him or will his sacrifice be in vain?" Wolfwood expected Vash to retort back, to get angry, or actually lash out at him. All the combativeness fled out of Wolfwood once he saw Vash'es neutral expression twist up into a grimace of pain and grief. Vash hid his face in his hands, although not in time to hide the tears that freely flowed down.

"…I k-know that…I know Wolfwood…Its j-just t-that…he was my brother…I feel so alone now. I know that I have you all but…but it's not the same. He was…we were…"

"The same." Wolfwood said quietly. Vash nodded wordlessly and sobbed even harder.

"I-I'm not t-trying to s-say…I d-don't mean…"

"I understand man…I know you don't mean that you think that you're better than us. You two were different. We all know it and it would be pointless to try to pretend otherwise. I can't say that I know what kind of a bond that the two of you had, but considering what the two of you are and how long you've been around I'd say it'd have to be something."

"N-now I'm the only one…I…just can't believe he's gone…" Vash whispered. "It feels like he never left and this is just some sick joke or a nightmare and that he's gonna walk in here at any moment now and get mad at me for wearing his things." He managed to get out a small chuckle before breaking down again. Wolfwood scooted his seat closer and held him.

"I know…it feels the same for me too." He said, feeling his throat begin to constrict as he fought against the emotion tearing at him too. "None of us will miss him like you, but still we all miss him pretty damn much. But like I said…we can't let this break us. It wasn't his intent for this to happen and he wouldn't want this."

"…I know…But…it's gonna…take me some time…if I can at all…"

"Nobody's rushing ya. We all know…But sitting here all the time digging yourself in deeper isn't gonna help things at all. You gotta start somewhere. Please? For us…and for him."

"…I'll try…"

-L&P-

Trent had hardly had five minuets to himself after the events of two days ago. He had been swarmed with accolades, medical treatment, questions, and just general attention. It was almost to the point of driving him crazy. While he had adamantly insisted that the credit go to all of his team, all the headlines insisted on making him to be the one responsible for bringing down Vash the Stampede. Despite his protests, Trent could already see now that his name was going to go down in legend, he thought with an annoyed sigh.

He had every reason to be happy. He had redeemed his name, brought down humanity's greatest threat, and had come out of the experience alive. But joy was the last emotion he was feeling at the moment. That mans eyes…those blue eyes. They haunted Trent whenever he closed his own. He had seen his captain shot down right in front of him, had nearly been killed himself, but yet whenever Trent had looked into Vash'es eyes he did not see the eyes of a murderer. Distant, yes. Haunted, yes. But evil, no.

Trent sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. Perhaps he was developing some physiological disorder, sympathizing with criminals. But even still, he wished for the impossible chance to sit down and talk with the man. Explore his reasoning's, the method behind the madness. Or was it the madness behind the method? Trent sighed again. The attention, responsibility, the haunting memories…it was all too much for him. This was why, after this one last task, he planned on retiring and fading off into anonymity in some small unknown town in the outer regions. But that was later; he now had a job to do.

He knocked firmly on the wooden door and waited. A few moments later a weary looking unshaven man answered the door. "Lawrence Stryfe?" Trent asked, noting the similarities between the man and the woman who had escaped him ages ago.

"Yes. Who's asking?"

"My name is Robert Trent. I'm the head of the federal agency." Trent said noting the look of fear that flickered through the man's eyes. "I have sought you out personally to inform you of your daughter." Lawrence gave a pained sigh and leaned heavily on the doorway. That single sentence seemed to add years upon the already weary man. He looked up in quiet resignation.

"She's gone." Lawrence quietly said. It was a statement, not a question. Trent nodded in sympathy.

"Yes, I'm afraid so."

"How?"

"I was not told of the methods used, but I was told by Vash himself of the time frame in which it happened…and it was…some months ago. I'm sorry." Trent tried to tell the man as gently as he could. He paused whenever Stryfe stiffened and looked up at the taller man with a hard stare. Keeping his expression passive, Trent tensed for trouble. It wasn't the first time he has seen something like this. After delivering the bad news, the receiver would launch into a fit of denial and sometimes rage, resulting in a 'kill the messenger' type situation. But instead attacking, Stryfe's intense look faded into a weary and weathered gaze. The man hid his face in his hand and turned around.

"Months ago…" He whispered, barely audible. Trent nodded, even though the action was clearly not seen by the other man. He began to offer the one solace that he could provide, however minute it may seem.

"Yes…but I have one small consolation." Stryfe turned to look at him, peering over the edge of his hand. "You will recall that some time ago you and your wife were taken in and questioned about your daughter, about the criminal act that she pulled back in January? Every indication we had pointed to her as a traitor, but we were mistaken. She was coerced into that act…for all we know it was to defend you. We don't know. But I felt that you deserved to know…that she didn't willingly cross over to the other side of the law." Trent finished. After a moment, stunned and distant, Lawrence Stryfe nodded.

"Thank you." He quietly said. Having nothing left to say, Trent nodded once and turned and walked away, longing for his soon-to-be life of never having to inform a parent of their child's murder again.

Lawrence watched the man walk off into the distance before closing the door with trembling hands. He stood there for several long minuets, his forehead resting against the smooth wood. Finally after regaining his composure enough, he turned and made towards the study room where his wife had been staring out of the window for the past several days.

The event that had shaken December only hours after their daughter and that man had been by to visit them had disturbed them deeply. And had confused them. They barely had time to mull over their daughters words about the man when they had received news that December was now facing its destruction at his hands. To his deep shock, Lawrence's first thought about the situation was 'this can't be right, Meryl said that he wasn't like that'.

This single snippet of thought shook him more than the news had. But when the news had proved to be true and defective number eleven had been annihilated with him inside, all thoughts immediately zeroed in on Meryl. Meryl, who had only hours before, had been begging him for his help. Then the question came to mind, freezing him in his tracks and stealing his breath away …was he responsible for this? Did he trigger this nightmarish event? And was she gone along with him?

They had no way of knowing. No way to find out other than wait. To wait for either her to come by on her own or some official to come by to tell them that she was gone. All the while during their bleak vigil Meryl's words of '…or we'll die' kept playing over and over in Lawrence's head like some sadistic broken record.

But now this Fed comes by and tells him that the outlaw himself said that his daughter had died months ago? When he had seen with his own eyes that she was alive? Things didn't add up. Either the Calvary man had grossly gotten his information mixed up or…

"He lied." Lawrence said quietly to himself.

"Yes?" His wife asked tiredly, finally looking up from the window.

"He lied. To shield her." He said a little more strongly. The pieces fit…it explained the mix up...And that little display outside of his door that he was never meant to see…

"What are you talking about Lawrence? You're not making any sense." She said, troubled by the distant look in his eyes. Suddenly he snapped to life.

"I know it may sound crazy but I think she's alive out there. I don't know where, I don't know what went on, but I do know she's out there and I'm going to go find her. I have to go find her." He rambled out in one big rush, running to go fetch his jacket. Concerned, Julia was right on his heels.

"I want to believe she's alive too but you heard…"

"No. No forget everything you've heard. They're wrong. _I_ was wrong. I know this. And dammit I know that it's too late to make it right, but I have to _try_! Please wait here. Please trust me." He said throwing on his coat and running out the door. "And I _will_ find her!" He called back to his wife, who leaned against the doorway and sighed.

-L&P-

Vash sat down heavily on the bed. He looked down at the folded grey jacket he held in his lap. He had finished packing his meager few belongings an hour ago, except for this. He planned on wearing this out of here. He clung to the jacket like a child would to a security blanket, and he didn't plan on letting go anytime soon. Other than memories and the farewell note, this was all Vash had left of Knives. His scent still lingered on the material.

These past few days had been more like a surreal nightmare than real life. He hadn't felt such a horrible aching loss since Rem died. Not even when he thought Wolfwood had died did he feel so broken. But he couldn't allow this to destroy him. He smirked slightly, hugging the jacket tightly to himself. Vash could hear Knives rant and swear at him now if he gave up and quit. 'Now dammit you crybaby! I didn't go through all of this so you could just mourn yourself to death. So are you going to get a move on with your life or am I going to have to come back and haunt you until you get back on your feet? I swear…you're just useless without me, you know that?'

Vash actually managed a laugh at the thought. Yeah…Knives would say that…Although…If Knives did come back to haunt him…if Rem was his conscience…what would his brother get him to do? Vash laughed again, the first genuine laugh that he's had in ages. Well, he was trying; Vash just hoped it was enough progress so his 'bad influence' didn't feel the need to intervene.

They were leaving this city this very evening. None of them knew where they were going, and none of them really cared. They had just grabbed the fist sand steamer tickets out of this place. Vash had thought briefly of going back to Lena and Grandma, those two had to be in hysterics about the news, but the townspeople knew him. It would make everything that Knives had done pointless. Wolfwood had stepped in and offered to write them a letter discreetly explaining what had happened so they would know that Vash was still alive…but Knives…

He shook his head to clear away those thoughts before he broke down into tears again. Where they would go now, with almost no money, was proving to be a serious problem that they would soon have to address. Once, being the one thing that helped to ensure his freedom and survival, Vash'es past drifter lifestyle was now playing against them. They had to go to a place that there would be no chance of anyone recognizing him, but the problem was that he's had plenty of time to be everywhere this planet had to offer. But…he just wasn't up to worrying about this yet…All of his focus was going to keeping it together.

Vash looked up as Meryl stepped out of the bathroom, dressed and ready to leave, her hair still damp. She gave him a small tired smile before going to pack her things. He watched her as she lifted up the black cat out of her suitcase and went about packing. The way she moved was so weary and frail. He knew that she was hurting just as much as he was and he hadn't been helping matters out any by ignoring her. He sat the grey jacket aside on the bed and got up to softly embrace her from behind. She jumped slightly at the unexpected action then leaned into him.

"I'm sorry…for the way I've been acting this past week." He quietly told her.

"…I was going to tell you the same thing." She whispered back after a moment's hesitation.

"Huh? For what?"

"For leaving…running away…again. It just kills me to see you hurt so much, I can't take it. But instead of being there for you when you need me, I run…I'm sorry…"

"Don't apologize. You have nothing to apologize for." He told her, kissing the top of her head. Before she could reply, the moment was broken when Wolfwood and Millie walked in. Seeing that they were intruding, Wolfwood faltered.

"Oops…no door, forgot to knock…Want us to go?"

"That's ok." Meryl said, pulling away. "Have you two got everything ready to go? The sooner we get out of this city the better I'll start to feel."

"Amen."

"Yeah…we're ready, but the steamer doesn't leave for two more hours." Mille said, coming on in and sitting by the window.

"I don't mind standing, as long as I'm outta here." Vash said, returning to the bed and pulling on Knives'es jacket.

"Amen again. And I don't plan on ever returning to this city ever again." Wolfwood said. His statement was met by a chorus of amen's. He was about to make a joke about his well trained little congregation when an unexpected voice from behind him startled him.

"Meryl?" Lawrence Stryfe said in disbelieving awe, pushing past Wolfwood.

"Hey, who the hell…"

"Dad?" Meryl asked, rooted to the spot in the middle of the hotel room in shock.

"Meryl!" Lawrence shouted, rushing in and took her in a tight embrace, as he were afraid that she would disappear if he loosened up any. "Oh God you don know how worried I've been about you! Your mother and I had thought that we had lost you! Then this man from the feds came and said…ahh to hell with what he said! I knew that you were still alive! I've been combing through the city for days trying to find you. Thank God you're ok!" He burst out, tears running down his face into her hair. She was stunned speechless by this extreme emotional display from someone she was only used to seeing anger from. Everyone else watched the two of them in just as much shock as her.

After a few moments of hard crying, he pulled back to look her over, as if to reassure himself that she was still there and alright. "Meryl…I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry! You don't know how sorry I am. You were right and I was wrong. It's no wonder that you hate me. I'm such a fool…and I…" Lawrence paused in his apologetic outburst as a familiar figure in the corner of his eye caught his attention. At the sight of Vash, very much alive, standing there, Lawrence's mouth worked in silence for a few moments before he managed a small, "…but…you…"

"I'm supposed to be dead. Right?" Vash asked him. The shorter man nodded in confusion. Vash saw none of the hostility that had been there days before. And what he sensed from the man…concern, confusion…and openness. A voice in the far back of his mind, from the dark part of himself that he resisted so much, told Vash that it was _this_ man who was responsible for his brother's death. If he had been open with him before and accepted Vash then Knives would have never had felt the need to go to such an extreme. The voice demanded justice, demanded vengeance…and Vash ignored it.

"You've probably got a lot of questions Mr. Stryfe." Vash began. "But to answer those questions properly, you need to know the whole story…And it's a long one."

"You're going to tell him everything Vash?" Wolfwood asked, taken aback. The others expressions mirrored his sentiment.

"Yes I am…if he's willing to hear it." Vash said sitting down on one of the beds. He quietly offered a seat across from him on the other bed. Lawrence looked into the hopeful eyes of his daughter that he still held and nodded quietly. He let go of Meryl and went and sat down across from the strange man who the world said was evil but his daughter said otherwise. He was going to listen to her for a change…it was long overdue that he did.

"I'll stand watch for eavesdroppers." Wolfwood said, leaning against the open doorway. Millie sat on the desk while Meryl settled next to Vash, who wrapped an arm around her.

"When I say it's a long story, I mean it's a _long_ story. About a hundred and thirty four years long…"

The fledgling town of Holtz wasn't much to look at. It had a few businesses and farms but that was about it. There was no plant, no saloon, no sheriffs' office; it didn't even have a church. A decade ago an underground water supply had been found but the settlers had lacked the fortitude to actually finish making this desolate part of the world a town. All they had left behind was a foundation for the well systems that had since been finished, and a few abandoned houses on the outskirts. And it was in front of one of these old houses that Vash stood now.

To everyone's surprise, Meryl's especially, her father listened to Vash'es story, and even more incredibly…he believed him. True, he held a fair amount of skepticism in the beginning, but as the narration kept rolling on he accepted it willingly. When Meryl actually began questioning him as to why he believed Vash, he calmly answered that his story was filled with way too many logical explanations (no matter how fantastic they seemed) to so many unanswered questions to be a lie. And that…he saw no deception in Vash'es eyes. Only honest-to-God painful truth.

After the recap of Vash'es life, up to the point of Knives'es sacrifice, Lawrence sat quietly to himself for nearly half an hour trying to sort the sheer overload of information that he had been given. The time for the four of them to get on the sand steamer had already come and gone, but no one noticed. Getting this man to know and to understand was far too important, and they all knew it.

The first thing that Lawrence said after his reflective reverie was to apologize deeply to Vash. That if he hadn't acted like such a narrow minded fool his brother would still be alive today. Everyone had been taken by surprise with this quiet heartfelt statement, but none so much as Vash. He tried to reply but could find nothing to say…because…he felt the same way. Even if he couldn't force himself to hate the man for it…it was still true. In the end, the only reply he could make was a silent nod, and then he bowed his head.

But Lawrence was not finished. He went on to say that, although he knew he could never make such a sin right, or have the courage to ask their forgiveness, he could pick up where Knives had left off. That he could go through with their request and more to guarantee that if by the off chance Vash was recognized, that they would have proof otherwise. That he would help them, all of them, find a home and establish them there, even if it cost him the entire of the family fortune or even his life…he would do it. At this, Meryl broke down into silent tears and the two of them embraced, finally reconciled after all these years.

And after two weeks, several thousand double dollars, and many tearful farewells later they were in this little town that they now could call home. Never having the misfortune of being wanted, Wolfwood and Millie kept their names the same. And even though they hadn't asked, Meryl's family had helped them out just as much. Naturally the two of them had chosen the larger of the abandoned houses, a large family likely in the imminent future. Wolfwood was already talking about the construction of a church/orphanage and Millie was just as excited about the prospect.

Being a fairly common name, Meryl had kept her first name the same although she changed her last name to Elias (temporarily of course just until Wolfwood finished his church. This was decided at Millie's iron insistence and their promise to Grandma.). And Vash had, of course, had changed his name to Richard Saverem. They all knew that it would be a matter of time before one of them slipped up and called him by his true name at some point (the pointed looks had given Millie the giggles at this point in the discussion), so they had come up with the cover story that the nickname 'Vash' had been given to him some years ago as a teasing reminder of his 'poor gunman skills'. And not having a gun (a visible one at least), nor the desire to ever own or handle one again, would only solidify their story.

As to their professions…it was anything they could find. Other than being a rather effective demolition team, the only skills they had were shooting and insurance, something that this peaceful little town didn't need, nor could they do. For now they had money to live off of for a while, but in order to keep a low profile they had to work for their keep. Vash, Wolfwood, and Millie were shooting for a job with the construction and maintenance of the new buildings and water systems, while Meryl was eyeing a job at the store or doctors office (jokingly reminding them all that Vash had given her plenty enough practice to shoot for a job as a nurse).

But all that could be taken care of later… for now they had a couple of houses to get put in order and make livable. The abandoned buildings were filled with sand where the doors and blinds had been broken off. There was no furniture inside either of the chosen houses, and the other lonely building had been picked clean as well. And the newly constructed water systems hadn't yet stretched out to this area.

It wasn't much…but it was a start.

Vash looked around at the land, the small house, and the familiar beloved faces milling about. It was what he had always wanted…a home. Or at least it would be soon. It would take some time and a lot of work, but one day this dusty corner of the world would be made into a home. But for all its promise, potential, and hope…a piece was still missing. A missing piece that would always leave pain and sorrow resting in its void. Without Knives none of this would have ever been possible and Vash thanked him for it…but yet…what he wouldn't give to have his brother back once more…


	20. Butterfly

**A/N: **I honestly didn't expect this chapter to be this long, but story gets what story wants. And I posted it a day early because...well because I just felt like it. Although I doubt that anyone will complain. This one has several surprises in it, but you gotta read it to find out! Enjoy!

**Chapter Twenty:**

**Butterfly**

There was nothing but darkness. Darkness and pain. It was everywhere. It was everything. He couldn't have escaped even if he had the strength to do so. The pressure crushing in on every side of him left him with no room to even lift a hand. But it didn't matter…the suffocating blackness was unbeatable.

Time passed without notice or meaning. The purgatory of this black entrapment stretched on for ages, interrupted occasionally by blurry visions of memories and dreams, but mostly it was dreams of the light. The light that had a voice but without words. It was enveloping, warm, familiar. In the dreams the light was calm and steady while hell raged about. But it was just a dream. There was no light, was no shelter. There was nothing but darkness.

Until something changed.

Instead of the cold crushing stone weighing his hand down, there was something warm and soft lifting it up. The touch was so light, his numb fingers barely felt it. Desperate for the sensation to stay, he held onto it as tightly as he could. But it wasn't enough. As soon as he moved the thing easily slipped away out of his fingers. Broken, he resignedly slipped back into the darkness and pain, but it couldn't hold him any longer.

Slowly, the pressure was taken away. The pain, however, seemed to increase tenfold, but it was worth it because there was light once more. Looking up, silhouetted by the moonlight, was a face he had never seen before but knew he could never forget. In that moment, Knives doubted that he had seen anything more beautiful. That brief moment of angelic beauty slipped away as nothingness claimed him once more.

-L&P-

"I honestly don't know how to repay you for all of this." The slim brunette politely said as she led the elderly little man through the elaborate halls of a well funded house. "I feel so guilty about what had happened, but at the same time I'm thankful that he was there. I owe that man so much and now I owe you as well for being able to help him."

"Well I'm sure that the young man back there will find that you're insistence on personally nursing him back to health rather than shipping him off to some community hospital will be more than adequate payment." The old man chuckled somewhat roguishly. "And as for myself, Ms. Ianotti, the best thing that you could give me is your word that you will be more cautious in where you go and for heavens sake…take an escort." He said as the two of them reached the door.

"I give you my word."

"Good dear." He said, kissing the back of her hand in parting. "Now if you will excuse me, this old back of mine is demanding rest. Since he is doing much better I'll be back Sunday. But if you need me before then please don't hesitate to call." She agreed and politely bid him off, but frowned once he was in his vehicle and moving out of sight.

Elizabeth truly hated that she had to lie to the dear old man, but the truth was out of the question. Instead she had called over at the doctors a week ago, with tears for show and everything, and had begged him to take care of the battered man unconscious in her spare bedroom. Upon seeing her emotional state and the condition of his patient, the kindly doctor had naturally wanted to know what had happened.

Having thought up the story before she had even sought him out, Elizabeth told him that her work for the Union had her late out one evening inspecting the plants, and had run into trouble. Then she had told him that the stranger she had called him to treat had come to her aid that night and had suffered these injuries. When the doctor had commented that these wounds looked days old she had whipped up a fresh batch of tears and told him that after escaping she came back the next evening to finish her work and to hopefully thank him if he were around…and this was what she had found.

At this the old man had immediately slipped into the role of comforting grandfather and did his best to calm her. He had at first tried to talk Elizabeth in taking the man to a proper hospital but she had adamantly insisted that she oversee his care…it was the least she could do. And she also had insisted that, as her doctor of many years, she trusted no one else to his care other than him.

Thoroughly buttered up and completely won over, the doctor immediately set to his patient. After tending to various cuts and bruises, severe dehydration, infection, a possible concussion, and three gunshot wounds the worn old doctor was finally finished. He hadn't had the heart at the time to tell Elizabeth, but he honestly didn't think that the man would survive. But as true to his oath, he had tried anyway, and was pleasantly surprised by the young man he was treating. Showing a surprising amount of strength, his patient slowly crept back from the abyss and was doing rather well, although he still had a long road ahead of him.

Elizabeth watched as the doctor's car faded into the distance, all his careful instructions running through her mind. She wondered if she was crazy for what she was doing. Helping and harboring a fugitive, the absolutely most wanted one at that? But no…she corrected herself, this was not the same man. Similar, yes. Brothers, more than likely. But Vash he was not. And it was that mixture of curiosity and pity that had compelled her to help him. Elizabeth turned back and walked through the elegant house to where her 'rescuer' was residing in one of the back rooms.

She stepped quietly into the room and closed the door. She lived alone in this large house, and chose to have no hired help other than a cleaner that came over every Monday, but just the thought that she was doing something that she wasn't supposed to be doing prompted her into this sneaking habit.

Setting down into the chair beside the bed, she noted with a sigh of relief, that the stranger was doing far better than when she had first taken him in. He was still shockingly pale but that ashen tint had begun to leave his skin. She wasn't sure why, but she was compelled to pick up his hand and hold it between her own. Running a thumb softly over the jagged scar that marred his wrist, Elizabeth thought about how she had found this man and how he had weakly held her hand in his own.

That day had been absolute chaos. It was a normal day back at the labs, and then a desperate call had come in demanding their help before it was too late. All of the engineering staff at the Kantacle Union had been called into action after seven and eight had began overloading, and as chief engineer the brunt of that day had fallen upon her. The city was evacuating, some of her co-workers with more fragile nerves had already cut and run, leaving the reacting plants (now four) and the city to be destroyed, and piling onto her was the confusion as to why he would do this?

Reports had said it had been confirmed that it was Vash but Elizabeth couldn't quite believe it. The same man that had saved the plant at Ineperil and had cried for her couldn't be the one who was causing all this chaos. She just couldn't believe it. And to add onto her frustration and confusion was the fact that she absolutely could not figure out how to undo what had been done to the plants. No matter what method she tried, Elizabeth couldn't find out what had set the plants off and she couldn't figure out a way to reverse it either. The situation had looked rather grim. Elizabeth had sent teams out to eight, nine, and ten while she stayed behind and frantically worked on number seven.

Then, as abruptly as it had happened, the plant had begun to quiet down. Her crew had run diagnostics on number seven _three_ times but it was absolutely and completely normal. Not long after seven had settled, word came in that number eight was calming as well. On her way over to inspect it personally was when she had received the news…he was dead.

The rest of that day went by in a haze. She just couldn't believe it…the man who had saved her out in that wasteland (even though he had supposedly caused it), and had saved her from being a murderer and criminal herself was gone. After that long day whenever she finally had a chance to go home, she went to bed and had cried.

But she couldn't afford to appear to be mourning, nor did she have the time for it. Paranoid about the events of two days ago, the mayor of December had ordered the inspection and evaluation of every one of the city's thirteen plants even though only four of them had been affected. Five including number eleven. After personally inspecting seven through ten herself and finding nothing to explain why they had begun to malfunction and then return to normal, she had sent out her crews to the other plants to see if there had been any changes to their status. And while that was being done she took a small unit to number eleven to see if anything was salvageable.

At first the Union had locked horns with the Calvary about inspecting number eleven. They were still sifting through the rubble trying to recover the bodies of both the outlaw and the unfortunate captain, and while they searched around any usable components of the plants were being exposed to the elements and therefore rendered useless. Eventually Robert Trent's replacement had stepped in and allowed the Union to do their work. Considering the criminals proximity to a large quantity of explosives (according to Trent), the new man was highly doubtful that there was even a body _to_ recover. And there was no sense in wasting usable technology.

And that was how she found herself on that miserable evening standing amidst a mountain of ruins in the itchy uncomfortable Kantacle Union uniform (her preferred wardrobe inappropriate for sifting though rubble). Night had already fallen and her crew of five was tired and ready to go home, and they let her know it. Though all those hours of searching they had found absolutely nothing salvageable except for a few non-vital structural parts. Even though she hated to admit it, Elizabeth was ready to admit defeat herself. That was until she turned over one last stone and saw something she never expected to see.

Her assistant had come climbing up the mountain, asking her when they could leave. Elizabeth met him halfway and told him to that he and the others could go, and that she would stay and log what little they had found. The man had delightedly agreed and soon he and the others were gone. Whenever they left, she had approached the few tired guards around the ruined facility. The men had livened up immediately when she neared, despite the unflattering uniform she wore. Laying on the charm thick, she had asked them if they would mind fetching her something to eat at a nearby café and some coffee. The guards were almost scrambling over one another to fulfill her request, leaving her alone in the ruins. Well…almost alone.

Knowing that she had only a limited amount of time, and the consequences would be dire if she were caught, Elizabeth began digging frantically to free the buried man. Her heart twisted as she uncovered the grave injuries, and it nearly broke whenever he would grasp for her hand whenever her fingers brushed up against his. But instead of the man she had tried to kill two years ago, she was immensely shocked to see the face of another.

Despite her rush, Elizabeth had just stared at him. Whenever he awoke briefly, she saw that his eyes were blue, not the green that she remembered. The clothes, the earring, even the hair was similar…but this was not Vash. Confused, she began to look for some clue as to who this was, and then she saw the guns. Well…one gun and a melted lump of slag that vaguely had the shape of a gun. While examining the strange thing and the burns it had inflicted upon his hand, Elizabeth noticed the scar.

It was a mark of desperation, sadness, hopelessness…She looked from his wrists to his face. He was handsome, she had to admit, but he also looked weary. Sad. Even through the dried blood and dirt. What kind of man was he? Who was he? And why would he do all of this…and this, she thought sadly touching the scar again. Without thinking, she got a grip on him the best she could and drug him over the ruins to her waiting car. She winced in sympathy and silently apologized about every rough patch she was forced to pull him across, but there was no possible way that she could have carried him. Pulling something in her back in the process, Elizabeth had managed to load him up in the backseat of her car, mere seconds before the two guards reappeared.

She had accepted the food graciously, fought off their awkward flirting with the promise that she would be back tomorrow, and had left. Taking him to a hospital would be too risky, and these injuries were far too serious for her to deal with on her own. Mind made up, she turned from the direction of her home and had gone towards the home of her old doctor. The man was startled to have her on his doorstep at this time of night in tears, but after her story and insistence they were off to her home where the kindly old man had proceeded to save this strangers life.

And now here she was, a week later, having called in sick to work, sitting by the bedside of the injured man while gently holding his hand. Out of all the things that could have been running through Elizabeth's mind, like how she should be monitoring the plants or how she could be tried for treason if this was ever found out, the only thing she was thinking was the simple question of 'what was his name?'.

-L&P-

It was a voice speaking to him, but there was no sound, no words. It was made up of pure emotion and understanding. Something that could only be found in dreams, and could only be understood in dreams. It let him know that it knew him…that it was here…and that it understood him. But most importantly, the thing it wanted him to know before its strength was gone and it was too late, was that it forgave him. After that brief flash of passion the enveloping light dissipated leaving the crushing blackness to envelop and suffocate him.

Knives woke with a start, trying to reach out to try and fight free. But the very movement that jolted him awake sent pain surging through every inch of him. He couldn't move, couldn't breathe, all he could do was pray for death to come and release him. He clenched at the sheets of the bed, tears running down his face onto his pillow. Sheets? Pillow? Where the hell was he?...No…no, he was supposed to be dead. He had to be dead! He had to save his brother! He had to die!

Knives tried to get out of the bed to go fight, to go die properly, but only managed to rise up an inch before falling back with a hoarse cry of pain. His weakness only fueled his tears of pain and bitter failure. He was alive and it was all for nothing. All for nothing…Suddenly, just like last time, a beautiful face appeared out of nowhere looking down on him with concern and care.

"Hey there…" She said softly. "Can you hear me? I'm going to get you something that will help with the pain, alright? Just hang in there a minuet longer…" She said, softly stroking the side of his face to wipe away a tear then turned to go. Knives reached up and grabbed her wrist before she could go, but it was his hand that had been burned and he let go with a hiss of pain. "What is it?" Elizabeth asked, turning back to him. "Do you need something?"

"Kill…me…" He whispered, closing his eyes tightly against the pain.

"What?" She asked, startled.

"Not supposed…to be here…I…I have to die…"

"It's alright now…You're safe here. They don't know where you…"

"NO!" He cried out, cutting her off. "You…y-you don't Understand!"

"Calm down…you're only hurting yourself." Elizabeth tried to soothe, keeping him from trying to sit up as gently as possible. She considered herself of fairly strong nerves, but his reaction was as unsettling as it was unexpected. Despite his injuries he reached up and grabbed her firmly by the wrists, managing as cold a scowl as he could through the wince of pain.

"You. Don't. Understand. I need to DIE! Do you h-have any idea who I am?" He growled at her through clenched teeth. Elizabeth calmly looked down at him and didn't try to pull her arms away. He was too weak to hurt her even if he tried.

"I don't know who you are…" She said quietly. "But I know who you're not." Those calm sorrow filled words stopped his growing hysteria cold. He looked at her in shock for a few moments, his grip weakening and his hands falling back down to the bed.

"W-what…did you say?" He whispered.

"I know Vash." Elizabeth told him, kneeling down in the floor to where she was eye level with him. "I've met him before. The two of you are…brothers, right?" No reply. "Everybody else out there thinks that you were him, but I know better."

"Were?" He softly asked her. Elizabeth could practically see the plea in his blue eyes.

"Yes…were…The entire world now believes Vash the Stampede to be dead."

Knives let his head fall back onto his pillow. If he could breathe in anything other than short gasps he would have laughed with joy. No…he could have screamed it out. It worked. It Worked! His brother…Vash…Meryl…they were free. They were free! Pain forgotten, tears of pure relief tricked down his face. It had worked…

He felt that soft hand brush against his face again, wiping away the tears. He opened his eyes to look at the woman at his side. She gently wiped the other side of his face, her own eyes were watering in sympathy of his pain. She knew the truth, a dark voice in the back of his mind said. This woman who was now crying for him knew the truth, that he was not Vash, and she could ruin everything if she chose. No…not when he was so close…

"Please…" He quietly begged her, reaching for her hand which she quickly offered to him. "Please kill me…"

"But…"

"No! Listen…Kill me and say I'm him…Please don't tell anyone…Let them believe I'm him…and dead…_Please_…" He whispered to her before passing out once more.

Elizabeth watched him long after he had fallen unconscious, tears streaming down her face. The desperate heartbreaking pleas to die had cut her deep. His words and sincerity resonating deep within her soul. What deep love must this man have for Vash for him only be concerned that the world think that he was him and dead despite the agony he must be in? And his own life. This man was more concerned about Vash than his own life.

Elizabeth still didn't know his name…but she now idea as to what kind of man he was despite the circumstances in which she had found him. And that was a good man. It was a pity, with as little as he apparently valued himself, that he himself didn't seem to realize that fact.

-L&P-

Whenever Knives awoke again it was slow and by degrees instead of the sudden alertness of before. He was in the same place as before, he slowly realized. The room had the same lavender walls as before, and the bed felt the same, although the sheets had been changed. The only thing different from before was that he was alone now.

Knives slowly looked around, the residual groggy feeling a tale-tale sign that he had been drugged. And the steadily increasing pain told him what kind of drugs it was. Painkillers. But he didn't care, the pain was far less than it had the first time he had awoke. And he could move around more. Now _that_ hurt like hell but at least he was moving, leading Knives to believe that a considerable amount of time had passed since he had last woke and now.

On the nightstand next to his bed was a full glass of water, two red pills, and a note. Slowly Knives reached for the note, wincing as the bullet wound his shoulder protested at every movement. After a minuet of struggling, Knives managed to pull the note over to him and read it over.

_If you wake and find this before I return, be assured that I will not be gone for very long. If you are still in pain upon wakening I have left you some medicine by the water, and please don't hesitate to take it. Being in pain will only prolong your recovery. Don't try to get up, just rest. I promise to return soon. _

_ Elizabeth_

Knives flipped the note over to see if there was anything more, and then let it fall to the floor when there was nothing. He looked over to the pills but decided to pass on taking them. This woman, Elizabeth, seemed kind enough but he was unsure of her agenda and would rather not take any chances. Instead, he began to take assessment of the damage that had been inflicted upon him.

His shoulder was killing him now that he's aggravated it, but it was movable at least. He pulled back the sheets to find himself dressed only in various bandages. Unfazed by the fact that would have sent most people grasping for the sheets while blushing furiously, Knives began inspecting the other two gunshot wounds. Undoing the bandages around his stomach, Knives was surprised to find signs of surgery. The bullet had been removed and he had been neatly sewn back up. And it was healing nicely.

With a sound that was somewhere between a growl and cry of pain, Knives managed to actually sit up. He sat there for a moment trying to catch his breath and waiting for the pain to subside some. Once he had settled some, he began to slowly and painfully undo the bandages and brace around his leg. This wound was the most worrisome for him. The first time he had been shot there it had taken him some time for him to be able to walk again. And then he had been a full plant. If the wound was as bad as he suspected it was, it would take him months before he could get around. That was too much time to gamble with. Too many things to go wrong in that amount of time.

He wearily closed his eyes at the signs of surgery he found on his leg as well. That combined with the brace told him that he wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. Once he was done re-wrapping himself the best he could, Knives lay back down in exhaustion. Just those simple actions had drained him completely. And had caused everything to ache. Badly. Reconsidering his judgment from before (if she had wanted to drug or harm him she could have done that while he was unconscious), Knives reached for the blessed painkillers. He froze once he saw his bandaged right hand.

The burns. The light. The dreams. Everything came flooding back to him. Waiting in that hallway to die...his gun…It had activated all on its own. He remembered looking down in shock as the covering flew off and the plant inside had shone with an intensity that he had never seen before. That he never knew it was even capable of. The very same protective field that shielded them from the blast of the angel arms went up just as the explosions went off.

And as he had been enveloped in the light he felt a second presence in his mind. It had no words, but it had memories, it had feelings. In that split second it shared with Knives its life, its pain, and its desire. And that desire was his own, for him to live. It mirrored him, being made from his DNA, just as the other he had been made from Vash. But yet it was separate, not some echo of himself. It had a soul of its own. He knew…he could feel it. And while it had been subject to his manipulations and control before, it was free now. And so it had activated itself, since Knives could no longer, and had sheltered him. Even though it should have let him die for forcing such a miserable life upon it. But no…it had protected him, even though it could not sustain such a high output on its own without paying the price.

Knives looked down at his bandaged hand, resulting from the guns hardwired attempt to fuse with him but failing. He had gotten off with being burned, but it had overloaded and collapsed in on itself. Knives had no idea that the poor things were…living…Alive yes, but he had treated them just as a piece of hardware. No soul. Biologically speaking it shouldn't have been capable of such a consciousness. But perhaps the repeated fusings with them had created a sort of external awareness? Or perhaps he had subconsciously activated it with his residual abilities? Plausible…but how to explain the second consciousness within him? He didn't know. He couldn't know…He just knew that another life that he had manipulated and abused had come to its end on his account.

"Oh, I see you're…awake." Elizabeth said walking in then turning back around abruptly. Puzzled by this strange behavior, Knives wondered what was the matter with her but then realized that he hadn't pulled the sheets back over himself. He did so quickly.

"I…uh…you can turn around now." He uncomfortably told her. Was he blushing? Actually blushing? After twenty years naked without batting an eye and _now_ he was embarrassed? She spared a glance, then turned fully around once she saw he was covered.

"Are you feeling any better now? You were quite upset the last time you woke." She said setting down in the chair beside of the bed, frowning once she saw that he had not taken the pain medicine.

"How long have I been here?" Knives asked her, observing every minute detail about this person who had taken him in and was caring for him. The color of her hair, her eyes, the way she sat. And for the life of him he couldn't figure out _why _she was doing this, he thought becoming suspicious again.

"Nearly three weeks now. Here…I can see it in your eyes that you're hurting. Take them." Elizabeth said picking up the items on the nightstand and offering it to him.

"I don't need anything. Who all knows that I'm here? Why am I here? Who are you?" Knives asked, struggling to sit up once more. Elizabeth tried to keep him lying still but he sat up anyway. She sighed in mild irritation at him, and offered the pills and water once more.

"Take them and I'll answer your questions. And I'll tell you what you've been dying to ask but are too afraid to." Knives looked at her long and searchingly then quietly accepted the medicine, then turned and waited. Satisfied, she nodded and set the remainder of the water aside. "First of all my name is Elizabeth Ianotti and I work for the Kantacle Technical Union. I am the chief engineer and was combing over the ruins of number eleven. That was how I found you. Now for what you truly want to know…No. I have not told anyone about you. No one knows that you are here except for me and my doctor, who suspects nothing. And you don't need to worry, the feds don't really expect to recover a body so your secret is safe. Now that I have told you this, it is only fair that you answer some questions I have."

"Such as?" Knives asked looking at her sidelong, wondering if these was some kind of trick. Why was she doing this for him?

"For starters…What is your name?" She asked, trying to get a figure on him as much as he was to her.

"…and if I'd rather not say?"

"Then I would say that would be rather rude considering that without me you would be dead right now." Elizabeth said flatly, crossing her arms.

"That was the idea you know."

"Oh really?"

"Yes."

"And I suppose that taking out half the city with you was part of your plan as well?" She asked, angry now at his apathetic attitude about his life and his obvious distrust of her when she had done nothing that would warrant it.

"The city was never in any danger." Knives said, rubbing his temples where he felt a headache forming.

"What do you mean never in any danger? _Four_ plants were on the verge of overloading."

"They never would have blown. I only had them agitated. They all calmed down without any adverse effects, right?"

"Yes. But you had the entire city in a panic. What the hell were you trying to do?" She demanded, although a little more gently this time around. Once again she wondered how the reaction of the plants had been done. And where did he learn how to do such a thing?

"I can't tell you. I'm sorry." Knives tiredly said, wanting to go back to sleep again.

"Why? Because you don't trust me?"

"No. I don't."

"You know…if I were going to turn you in I would have done it the very night I found you. That night when I drug you out of the rubble, knowing that you were not Vash. But at great risk to myself I took you, sheltered you, and made sure that you were taken care of."

"Why?" Knives asked her quietly. "Why did you do all of that for me? Why risk so much on a stranger who nearly took out half the city? Why?" Elizabeth looked down and was silent. Knives pressed on. "You obviously know my brother…a friend? Did you do it for him? A debt to repay perhaps?"

"So he's your brother…" Elizabeth said, surprised that he truly was Vash'es brother, but even more so that the man was beginning to open up to her.

"Yes." Knives said, knowing that it was useless to pretend any longer.

"It is true…I do have a debit to repay him. Several in fact. Although the circumstances through which we met would not exactly make us friends." Elizabeth told him uncomfortably. Knives looked at her with the silent question showing in his eyes. "I know your brother because I tried to kill him. Four times." Elizabeth watched as the man stared at her in quiet shock.

Elizabeth felt a pain of guilt for not telling him the entire truth. Ineperil was not how they met. She reflected back on all those years ago after July had been destroyed. How that stranger had found her and cared for her until he had found a suitable enough town to take her in. And years later he had saved her from becoming a murderer and a criminal. Yes…she certainly did owe him. Elizabeth looked over at the blond man who was watching her warily.

"It was a mistake on my part. I regret taking such action against him as I did. It was a...case of misinformation. What I wouldn't give for the chance to apologize to him."

"That still does not explain why you have taken me in and cared for me. When you saw that I was not him…why did you help me anyway?"

"I admit that I did it at first because I thought you were him." She softly told him. Knives nodded in understating, Vash simply had that kind of effect on people. "But the true reason I helped you, despite all the trouble you've caused, was not because of him…but because of these." She said picking up his hand and trailing her fingers lightly across the scar on his wrist.

"Why?" Knives asked her quietly, completely taken by surprise. What did she care for him? Was it pity? Or a bad case of curiosity?

"Actually that's what I was going to ask you. Why? Why did you do this to yourself then? And why now? What was the reason why that you were begging me last time to kill you? It has something to do with your brother, yes? Why was it so important to you that you had to die?"

"Yes…It has something to do with Vash." He said quietly, pulling his hand back and absently massaging his wrist. "I was doing it for him…I was pretending to be him so I could die…and he could be set free."

"Why would you go to such extreme measures? What drove you to take his place like that?" She asked, shocked at the quiet revelation.

"Because…He didn't deserve the reputation that he had. Vash wasn't responsible for all the destruction and suffering…He was innocent and I took his place so that he would have a chance to live in peace for once." Knives said, avoiding her gaze and looking down at his hands. His guilty bloodstained hands.

Elizabeth recalled Vash'es hesitation and uncertainty. He had told her that he didn't remember if it had been him to destroy July and she also recalled the sorrow in his eyes at the thought that he might have. She was relieved to know that it hadn't been him. That the man that had saved her life hadn't also been responsible for its jeopardization.

With a small sigh of relief, she asked him. "If Vash wasn't responsible…than who was?"

"…I am." Knives slowly said, looking up to meet her shocked stare. "For the destruction of July. And Augusta. And the moon…and so much more…"

Elizabeth slowly stood and backed away from him, stunned at what she had just heard. The man responsible for such a horrible reputation…was him? The one that had taken away her home and nearly her life…was the very person that up until a few hours ago had had her convinced that he was a good man? No. The person that she had risked her job and freedom for? No.

Without a look back, Elizabeth turned and fled from the room.

-L&P-

Later that night Elizabeth sat at her desk, her hair down and dressed in her nightgown but sleep was the farthest thing on her mind at that moment. She looked down at the large silver revolver resting in her hands, the melted gun lying nearby. She ran her fingers down the barrel, across the etchings, over the trigger. It still had two rounds in it, one more than was necessary. Feeling the weight of it in her hands, she thought about the man who was lying in the room down the hall.

She had thought that she had put her demons to rest, that she had finally let go of the wrongs and tragedies of her past, but now she wasn't so certain. She could still see it, she still dreamt of wandering through the ruins of a once great city. It was a nightmare that she feared that she would never be rid of. As she grew older she had learned who was responsible for hers, and the suffering of a million others. And so her hate had grown. Night upon night she had dreamed of and plotted her revenge. And now it was right at her fingertips. Literally.

The one responsible was helpless to do anything to stop her, she had a suitable weapon resting right in her hands. The only thing left for her to do was take action. Before she had been willing to sacrifice a plant and the welfare of an entire city for her revenge. Now there was nothing to lose, except perhaps a few linens. Grasping the handle of the heavy gun, Elizabeth stood and walked silently out of her room.

She crept down the hall without a sound and stopped just beyond the doorway of his room. The man whose name she still didn't know. The man responsible for the suffering of millions. When she had fled earlier that evening she hadn't closed the door, and it was still slightly ajar. Wrapping a finger around the trigger, she peered inside.

It was dark and slightly difficult to see inside, the lamp on the night stand had been turned off. But the light of the moons coming in from the window was just enough to let her see him. He was sitting up in the bed, leaning forward with his face resting in his hands. The sheets were a rumpled mess, as if he had tried to get up but found that he couldn't and had settled back down. Upon seeing him, Elizabeth felt the old familiar rage building in her once more. How she could have been so horribly mistaken about the character of this man, she would never know. But she knew now, confessed from his own mouth without as much as a blink or hesitation. She raised the gun and prepared to step through the door but was stopped as a soft unexpected sound reached her hears.

Quietly, silently, he was crying. He kept his face buried in his hands, hunched forward despite the pain it must have been giving him. Only the slight shaking of his shoulders and occasional hitch of his breathing gave him away. He didn't look up, he didn't move, all he did was softly cry. Elizabeth watched him for ten minuets or longer, before she was unable to watch anymore. As silently as she had came, she retreated away to her room.

Gun still in hand, she sat down on her bed in a state of quiet shock. Unbidden, memories of him reaching for her hand while she was digging him out came to mind. Memories of his pain and desperate pleas for her to kill him…to kill him and not to tell anyone the truth. Why? Why would he do that, she wondered. Why would a cold hearted villain, destroyer of cities, do such a selfless act for his brother? It simply did not make sense.

Elizabeth looked down once more to the gun in her hands. She had thought that Vash was the same kind of person once, she realized. She had automatically thought of him as an inhumane monster despite his behavior and had set out for his blood. But she had been wrong. What if she was wrong again? That and…what kind of person was she?

Even if it was justice, did she really have the right to take the life of another? Several times now she had been on the verge of murder. Justice? No, it was about revenge. Selfish revenge. Not only was she ready to kill, she had put an entire city at risk. She was no better than he was. The difference between the two of them was that he seemed repentant…and she was not. What did that say about her?

Elizabeth set the gun aside and once again left for his room. She hesitated again at the doorway to see that nothing had changed since she left. This time, she stepped inside. If the man on the bed had heard her, he gave no indication of it. He never once looked up as she went and sat down on the chair that had become very familiar to her over the course of the past few weeks.

"You've changed your mind about killing me." He said quietly, voice hoarse.

"How…h-how did you…" Elizabeth stammered out.

"I felt it." He said cryptically.

"…Yes. I was going to kill you. For everything you've done. To both this world and myself."

"And why did you change your mind?" He asked, finally looking up at her. She didn't reply, but instead stared at him long and searchingly. In the moonlight she could see the melancholy expression on his face along with the remainder of his tears. After several long moments she was the first to turn away.

"…I have several reasons." She said curtly still distrustful of him, the old anger refusing to fade away completely.

"Pity and guilt." He said simply. It was not a question.

"Guilt?" She said somewhat sharply, covering up her surprise with indignation. "What in the world gave you that idea?"

"Your eyes." He said, turning some to face her better. "You're remorseful about something that you've done. Perhaps some past wrong, I don't know…But whatever it was, it was serous enough to affect your conscience enough to reconsider passing judgment on me." Elizabeth simply stared at him, mouth slightly agape. He smiled at her shocked expression. It was the first time she had seen him smile, Elizabeth realized. It suited him better than anything else she's seen on him thus far. He continued on.

"Whatever it was that you have done, don't worry. I can guarantee that it doesn't even begin to compare to my sins."

"For someone who says that they've done these evil things…" Elizabeth began, regaining her composure somewhat. "You certainly don't seem the type."

"People can change. A fact that I am eternally grateful for."

"I don't understand you." Elizabeth said exasperatedly, tired of dancing around one another with secrets and questions. "Who are you? Why have you done those things, let your brother take the blame, and then try to get yourself killed so he can be free? What kind of person are you really? Give me one good reason not to put you right back where I found you, or better yet, go to the sheriff and tell him the truth."

"Please don't do that." He pleaded, snapping to attention. "Please don't do that. Please don't make everything I've tried to do void. I don't care what you do to me, but please don't tell anyone about Vash. I'll tell you anything you want, do anything you want…name it. Just please promise me."

"Shh…" She quieted. "From the moment I found you I was not going to tell anyone. Especially since you asked me not to whenever you first woke. Please don't worry about it anymore. It's not an issue, so please let it go." She said trying to calm him, to her own surprise. Only half an hour ago she was prepared to murder him in cold blood, now she was being comforting? What the hell was the matter with her?

"Thank you." He said simply, smiling at her once more. She felt herself returning the action despite herself. Yes, she conceded, he looked much better smiling.

"You're welcome. And now that you've offered…there are some things that I want to know."

"Yes?" He asked. Elizabeth could already see the lighter change in his demeanor. And all it had taken was a few words of reassurance that she would not tell about his brother. Never mind the fact that she confessed that she was about to kill him, it was just that his brother was safe. Selfless, she thought. Not the trait of a ruthless criminal.

"First of all…were you honest when you had said that the plants were never going to overload? That you just did what you did to get everybody worked up?"

"Yes."

"Secondly, you confessed that you were the one who destroyed July and the rest, correct?"

"I am the one responsible, yes." He said, although a little more subdued this time.

"Why?" She asked simply.

"…I have no justifiable reason…I did it out of hate, fear, and revenge…I was a fool. But please…I would rather not remember that time in my life." He said shifting uncomfortably, looking away.

"Alright." She said quietly, even though she still wanted to know exactly why. Especially for July. "One last question and then you need to sleep. You've had too much stress put on you today and if you don't quit _moving_ around and aggravating those injuries I'll get Dr. Reynolds to give me enough sedatives to keep you under until you are healed. Do you understand me?" This earned her a chuckle and a nod in reply.

"You almost remind me of someone I know…Alright, what's this last question?"

"What is your name?"

"…Its Millions Knives."

-L&P-

Knives began to wonder if it were possible to die of boredom. He threw the book that he had already read three times down on the desk. In fact, he had already read all of the books in Elizabeth's personal study. He leaned back in the heavily cushioned chair and sighed. For the past week she had been coming home late from work, sometimes past nightfall, and he barely had anytime to see her. And he was beginning to miss all of their discussions, games of chess, and just keeping each other company. But the weekend was coming up and he was looking forward to it.

It had been nearly two months since she had snuck him into her home and began to care for him. He was able to get around on crutches now, but since he could not leave the house it did him little good. Since his clothes (err…Vash'es clothes) had been ruined, she had bought him a few simple things to wear. She had skipped out on buying shoes because it was to risky for him to even walk out on the grounds. The only places he visited while she was away were the kitchen and her study. The rest of his day was spent in the sitting room waiting for her to come home.

To his surprise and great relief, after the night she had nearly killed him, she had asked him no more personal questions. Things had been slightly tense between the two of them for a few days after that night. But polite conversation had soon turned into guanine talks between the two of them. To Knives it was like a breath of fresh air. Finally here was somebody who was intelligent, could keep up with him in a detailed conversation, and didn't resort to headlocks, whining, or profanity in a debate. Although…he did miss that.

Despite enjoying the time spent with Elizabeth, Knives often found himself pining for the company of the others. He wondered where they were, how they were doing, and if they had forgiven him for leaving them like he did. He desperately wished that he was healed and able to walk without the aid of those irritating crutches so he could go seek them out, tell them that he was still alive, and to be with them once more. He wanted to see them all so badly. He needed them.

All thoughts of hunting them out fled his mind whenever he heard the front door open and shut. From the foyer he heard a familiar soft sigh of irritation. Reaching for his crutches, Knives quickly got to his feet, wincing at the mess he had made with the books scattered everywhere. He barely had time to get out of the chair and around the desk when Elizabeth entered the study, looking worn-down, carrying a large stack of papers and folders.

"I didn't expect you back so early…I'll get this place picked up." He said moving out of her way.

"Don't worry about it." She said tersely, with hardly a glance his way, and set the stack of files she was carrying heavily down on the desk. "You…I actually trust to clean up after yourself. But several others I will not name, seem to have no concept of order and responsibility. I swear that the Union will take any idiot with a degree in plant technologies whether they are deserving of one or not, leaving those that are competent with the brunt of the work while they earn an easy paycheck!" She said bitterly, sitting down heavily in the seat behind the desk with a sigh.

"I take it that the people who you are referring to left that for you to take care of because they are too inept to handle what they claim to be experts on." Knives said, pointing to the papers.

"I'm sorry Knives…" Elizabeth smiled wearily at him, massaging her temples. "I usually make it a point not to take work home with me but this time it's unavoidable. And I shouldn't have taken my frustration out on you. I'm sorry."

"I understand, and there is no need to apologize. Would you like me to get you something? Coffee? Me to fix something to eat for once instead of being relatively useless except for conversation purposes?"

"No." She scolded playfully. "For one thing…how would you carry the coffee to me, hmm? And secondly, you know how I feel about you being up and around so much. Its leftovers or I'll just make some sandwiches later. You need to rest."

"Ok, you have a point about the coffee." He admitted, earning a small chuckle like he had hoped to. "But lying around all day in bed will just drive me nuts. It's not so bad when you're there, but sitting alone encased all day is starting to get to me. Weird…it's never bothered me before…" Knives pondered, thinking about the fact that the greater part of his life had been sealed away in some place or the other.

"Well hopefully with a little luck I'll have this done by Monday and that'll be the end of it. Although I'm afraid I'll be little company this weekend. Sorry."

"If it's alright for me to know…why the sudden influx of work? Plants are relatively stable. What's changed?" He asked, sitting down in one of the other chairs in the room.

"I'm surprised that you would even ask." Elizabeth said looking at him mischievously. "Except for three sets of diagnostics I have for malfunctioning plants, all the rest of these are just specs of perfectly fine plants that I have to review because a certain someone's actions have the world paranoid about their plants malfunctioning now."

"Ah." Knives said guiltily, looking away. Elizabeth just smiled at him.

"Don't feel too bad about it though. The upside of this is that everyone is more aware and conscientious about their plants. Perhaps they will quit taking them for granted and care for them some more." She said, setting to work.

Knives left her be but didn't leave the study. He picked out the biggest book within reach of his chair and pretended to read it, all the while observing her out of the corner of his eye. Asides from occasional visits from Elizabeth's doctor (who had quit coming a month ago) for which Knives was barely conscious for anyway, she was the only person he has seen since nearly dying. And the more he learned about this amazing woman, the more he wanted to know.

Early on, when he had been completely unable to care for himself, she did it all. She did it without a word of complaint, without hesitation, and she did it quite efficiently. At first Knives had been slightly amazed by this. This woman, whose appearance and status suggested that society would treat like a princess and would never have to lift a finger herself, was apparently no stranger to hard work. Finally one day, when he had still been confined to the bed, he had asked her about it. She had smiled about his confusion about the seeming contradiction.

Elizabeth had then told him all about her life. After she had been orphaned by July (something he had looked away at, grieved) and left in an orphanage by a kind stranger, she had to work hard for everything she wanted. Even when she was finally adopted she had insisted on putting herself through school, since her adopted family could not afford it. She could have been like many others she saw around her…marry rich and never have to work again, or use her looks to manipulate others out of anything she wanted (although it occasionally came in handy, she told him with a wink to see if she could make him blush, and laughed when she was rewarded with one). But the shortcomings of others only motivated her more strongly to work harder and use her mind, not body, to get where she wanted in life. And so after several years with two jobs and being a full time student did she get her degrees in plant engineering and theory. And that same work ethic that had got her there soon got her to the top.

Knives had questioned her then that since she was very wealthy now, why didn't she have (other than the weekly cleaner she had to let go after Knives was nearly discovered) hired help? She could have all she wanted and needed without lifting a finger to do it herself. After a lifetime of such struggle, why didn't she take the break that she deserved? And what she told him next only made him admire her more than he already did.

Despite her nice house and nice clothes, most of her money went out to orphanages, so the children that had been like her wouldn't have to fight so hard. She was accustomed to work, it was engrained in her and she didn't want to forget her roots, but the next generation deserved better. Those that had already had so much taken away from them deserved to have something given to them for once. He had silently nodded in respect, once again marveling at the side of human nature that he had been blinded to for so long.

Knives snuck another look at her over the edge of the book he wasn't reading. She had a pen tucked behind one ear, completely absorbed in her work. She hadn't even changed out of her form fitting town dress into something more comfortable, it had been right to work for her. Her home clothes were in stark contrast to her dress clothes. They were loose fitting, more often cotton than silk, and plain, meant to be comfortable than pretty. But then again, he thought, it didn't matter what she wore, the appearance of the clothes couldn't compare to what they were dressing. Most women normally wouldn't let a strange man see them in their causal clothes, but the situation was far from normal. Her constant care for him and remarkably quick acclimation to his presence in her home made such things trivial.

The evening wore on in the silent study, and Knives was quickly running out of books to 'read'. Now that he was able to get up and walk around, albeit awkwardly, he was desperate for anyway to repay her back for her great compassion on him. She didn't have to sit with him for hours on end while he was still bedridden. She didn't have to talk with him or read him excerpts from various books so he wouldn't get bored, but she had anyway. He couldn't pay her, he couldn't clean or cook for her (but that wasn't for lack of trying, she had forbid him from exerting himself). All he seemed to do was produce more work for her, in more ways than one. But despite this, not once had she made any mention of his leaving. Knives was certain that the subject would come up now that he was walking, but no. Nothing. In fact, not one word had been spoken between the two of them of what would be done once he was fully healed.

In spite of all of the work and attention he had required she never complained about any of it, and this honestly surprised him every time he realized it. He could only imagine what kind of impact his presence must have had on her social life, but she never once seemed to resent his presence or company. Would it be arrogant of him to hope to believe that she enjoyed it? Even though she couldn't have company over here, not once had she went out other than for work or groceries. And even thought he felt guilty for it, he was thankful for that fact because it meant that he wasn't going to be left here alone. And when did this happen, he wondered. When did he become such an addict for attention?

She sighed heavily, shaking Knives from his thoughts. She stretched briefly then went back to work, a weary expression on her face. Instantly he felt guilty for his selfish thoughts. Here she was loaded down with work that _he_ had caused her and here he was wanting attention. He could hear now what Wolfwood and Meryl would say about the situation, and it involved choice words. Fighting back a smirk, a thought suddenly struck Knives. There wasn't much he could do in his condition to help her out, but there _was_ something.

Knives got up and told her that he was going to turn in early. He waved off her offer to make him something to eat and said that he would just finish off the leftovers. Then he had gone to bed, but he didn't go to sleep. Hours later, sometime around two he guessed, he heard Elizabeth finally head to her room to get some sleep. Then, as quietly as he could with a set of crutches, he snuck out of his room and down to the study. His prayers were answered when he saw the stack of papers still on her desk. He sat down and began leafing though them.

It wasn't until sometime after first light did he creep back down the hall and into bed. Contented with himself, Knives slipped of into sleep and pleasant dreams for once. The dreams quickly blinked out into oblivion about two hours later as the sound of a door slamming open startled him into wakefulness along with the stinging imprint of a delicate hand across the side of his face. Confused now as well as groggy and startled, Knives looked to see Elizabeth lividly staring down at him still in her silk nightgown, her green eyes blazing.

"What the…" He said rubbing the side of his face where she had slapped him. "What's going on?"

"I think you know very well what's going on." She spat, crossing her arms, a handful of folders in one hand. "I don't know what the hell you're playing at Millions but I will not tolerate it. Not after everything I've done for you."

"Huh?" He asked cluelessly. Good Lord he was becoming his brother…

"Do _not_ play dumb with me!" She raged, throwing down the handful of folders on his lap. "What did you do?"

Ohh…her work… "Oh. Those. Well you've been so worn down lately and there was no way you could have finished all of those by Monday, so I did it for you." He said picking up a folder and leafing through it. He looked up at her and saw that it had been the wrong thing to say as she was on the verge of slapping him again.

"You had no _right_ to be going though my work. You are not qualified to review over these diagnostics." Thankfully Knives was able to hold back a smirk at this or else he would have had a handprint on the other side of his face to match. "And what more! The suggested calibrations on these three plants…You _Altered_ Them! How dare you? This is sensitive material! People's lives depend on this! It's not some crossword puzzle to do because you got bored!"

"I know this." He said calmly, hoping to settle her some. "I know that this is very delicate material and I would not have even _looked_ at them if I were not confident in my ability to handle it."

"Confident? Just look at these!" She said grabbing a particular folder and throwing it open. "Everything you were so _confident_ in to handle is completely off. It doesn't even begin to conform to regulations. It will take me hours to correct just one of these and get it back to normal."

"Then maybe the Union should reevaluate its regulations and what should be considered 'normal'." He told her bluntly. She stared at him speechless, too angry at his relaxed attitude to know what to say. "I didn't alter them to blow up or anything if that's what you're thinking. These so called 'regulations' are completely off and are actually damaging to the plant. With these new configurations there is a thirty five percent greater output with far less stress on the plant. If you don't believe me…check it over and see for yourself. Here." He said, gathering up the files and offering them to her. She took them and looked down at him, coldly disappointed.

"I'm headed back over to the lab. I have hours more work for me than I originally thought and I'll be damned if I spend it here with you looking over my shoulder. I'll be back at five, and by then you had better have thought up a darn good apology or else you'll find that my compassion and generosity have run dry and yourself out on the streets." She said then turned and left, pulling the door shut hard as she went.

Knives listened to her leave then with a sigh he pinched the bridge of his nose against the forming headache. That went over spectacularly Millions, outstanding job there, he thought bitterly. What the hell did you _expect_ was going to happen idiot? That she would say 'thank you' and accept it without hesitation, your record with December's plants notwithstanding, and spend more time with you rather than working? And he had believed that _he_ was a mentally superior being all of these years? Yeah. The truth always comes out in the end. But the truth of the matter was that any of this fallout had never occurred to him. He hadn't thought about it, the only thing he had thought about was helping her. That was all he had wanted to do.

-L&P-

Elizabeth flipped through the regulations manual with heated vehemence as if the papers themselves had grievously wronged her. How dare he go and do something like this! She had saved his life, cared for him when he was unable to, sheltered him…and for what? For him to go and sift through her work like it had the same value as a discarded magazine? Whenever she was away did he pilfer through her personal belongings as well? How dare he?

Elizabeth tossed the book aside on her desk, she was too angry to take in the information anyway. More than angry, she felt betrayed. Not once had she felt uncomfortable or threatened with him in her home, even when he began to be able to move around. His calm, honest (and sometimes blunt) ways made him incredibly easy to talk to. And Elizabeth had been pleasantly surprised to find that he was quite intelligent and well rounded instead of the one track minded goofball his brother had been. Not once in her entire keep of him had she found his eyes wandering. No suggestive comments. Nothing. He treated her perfectly like an equal and a person, not as an object. With all these traits that set him aside as a gentleman, and a growing attachment to him, it was only made more hurtful that he go off and do something like this.

She sighed, her anger quickly fading away into hurt. It just didn't make sense for him to do something like this. And then to lie about it! But perhaps he had been telling the truth after all, Elizabeth thought, searching for any explanation for his confusing behavior and to ease the feeling of betrayal. Maybe he actually had only been trying to help her out, confident that his previous experience with plants would be sufficient. That could explain the portion of her work that had only required reviewing, but what of the radically altered specs? And his apparent disdain for Union regulations? They were tried and true for over a century and he comes along claiming to know better?

Her indignant irritation quickly flaring up again, Elizabeth scooped up one of the 'improved' sets of data and entered it into her computer. The simulator should be able to tell here just what these revisions would do to a plant, and if he were up to some trickery or not. She waited as the computer processed the data, her fingers tapping out a staccato rhythm on her desk. Whenever the results came up she skeptically began to look them over, then did a double take, not believing what she was seeing.

The new calibrations would not only ensure that the plant was in perfect working order, it would be even better. The output would be increased thirty five percent just as he had said. And not only that, but numerous operating systems would be under far less stress, reducing its need for care and preventing a possible overload in the future. Elizabeth sat back in her seat in quiet shock.

He had been telling the truth. He had been absolutely right. In all of her years of study she would have never have dreamt of making those changes, nor had anybody else for that matter. What kind of engineer did she call herself for not being able to _recognize_ it much less produce it herself? And where did he learn such things? Oh no…she thought with her heart falling. She had treated him so badly this morning, heartless even. Here he had only wanted to help her, and she had just thrown it in his face. How that must have hurt…Quickly she shut down her computer, gathered up her things, and locked her office behind her. She was going home this very instant to apologize, and through her entire trip back she sincerely hoped that he would be understanding enough to forgive her.

Quietly she slipped in her front door and set her parasol and purse down on the stand. Even though she was back hours earlier than she had said she would be, she still halfway expected to see him sitting there in the foyer waiting for her to come home like he always was. Just like some lovesick puppy. But his usual seat was vacant leaving her to return ungreeted.

Passing on getting out of her town clothes and into something more comfortable, she went right to his room down at the end of the hallway. All the various apologies she had thought of on her way back seemed to slip out of her mind as she knocked softly on his door leaving her without the words to say but doing nothing to appease the need to say them.

"Knives?" She asked after her knock was met with nothing but silence. "Knives I need to talk to you, please answer me." When she still received no reply she hesitantly looked inside to find the room empty.

Turning away, Elizabeth made towards her study where he would surely be. Instead of seeing him mull over one of her history books or playing chess with himself, the study was empty. Concerned now, she turned and left. Despite her insistence that he make himself at home, Knives never visited the other areas of her house. He had told her that he had felt enough of a burden without feeling like an intrusion on top of it.

A thought struck Elizabeth, making her stop in her tracks. What if her harsh treatment and even harsher words of this morning had caused him to leave? Leave, before she kicked him out with more verbal abuse with his only crime being that of wanting to help her. The thought deeply disturbed her. Not simply the thought of parting on such bitter terms, but that of parting at all. He had become such a welcome part of her life, a sweet release from the loneliness that more often than not plagued her, that the thought of his departure was a stressing one. And with that though came the confusion as to _why_ it meant so much to her.

With a brief glance into her bedroom to confirm that it was empty, Elizabeth made her way to the kitchen to see if he was there. She gave a deep sigh of relief whenever she heard a familiar voice let out several very colorful curses. She looked into the kitchen, and was shocked for a second then nearly fell to her knees laughing.

Stuff was scattered everywhere across the counter, quite a bit of it falling into the floor to mix in with half the carton of milk that had been spilt. A crutch hung abandoned from one cabinet door, hooked on the handle and unable to be freed with just one hand. And by the stove was Knives, slipping on the spilt milk, covered in something or other, trying to fight down the small fire that had broke out ruining the mystery substance that he had been trying to cook.

At her laughter he looked over at her, obviously fearful of her reaction, and then went back to fighting the fire with renewed vigor. That was until he slipped and fell over completely. After a few moments of hard laughter, she had pity on him and fetched the fire extinguisher from under the cabinet and put an end to the comic kitchen crisis. After the smoke cleared slightly Knives climbed back to his feet, wincing slightly in anticipation of her wrath. Instead, she surprised him by breaking out into laughter again and embracing him, mess and all.

"W-what…what in t-the world were you _doing_ in here?" She said looking up at him, struggling to regain her breath. "How can _anybody_ make such a mess trying to cook?" He seemed slightly taken aback by the hug but steeled himself to explain what happened.

"Well it was difficult to get around with these crutches, much less trying to grab and mix while trying to hold on to them, and one thing kept going wrong after another…" Knives sighed and stood up a little straighter. "While it may seem that I was only out to make a mess…I was actually trying to make you dinner, in an attempt to apologize for all the trouble I have caused you. But seeing as how that spectacularly backfired on me I can only hope that you will forgive me." He said taking her hand and lightly kissing the back of it. She winced at the sincerity of his apology, it only worsened her guilt.

"You shouldn't apologize Knives…you have nothing to apologize for. I checked just like you told me to and you were right about everything. But even still…I shouldn't have treated you so harshly this morning. It was cruel and uncalled for. If anyone should be asking for forgiveness, it is me."

"You had every right to be angry. I had no business in messing with your work. But honestly all I wanted to do was repay you. It always seems to come back and haunt me…" He said looking around at the chaotic smoky kitchen. She chuckled, wishing she could have been here to see exactly how these events had unfolded. Somehow she doubted that a recap would do it justice.

"Well how about we both put this behind us, hmm? Let me get this place picked up some and make us something edible so we can go talk."

"Talk? About what?"

"About these modifications you suggested. I want to know more. Everything that you do." Elizabeth said. Instead of clamming up like she expected, Knives nodded.

"Alright. But first would you like me to help you cle…"

"No! I mean…no thank you."

-L&P-

"So…first of all…how did you come to have such an extensive knowledge about plants?" Elizabeth said over a plate of pasta, the kitchen unsuitable for the preparation of much else.

"Well…" Knives hesitantly began. He knew that he was going to have to choose his words very carefully over the course of this conversation. _Perhaps_ she would be accepting to the truth of what he was, but that would take some time and prepping with facts. But he wasn't going to go there because there was no need for her to know the truth about him. "I have been studying plants ever since I was a child. So it's only natural that I be well informed about them."

"A child hmm…but where did you get your information? Your methods and knowledge is rather …unconventional to say the least. It's certainly not in any text that I have looked over. How did you know to do the alterations like that? Nothing in the Unions history with the technology was like what you have done."

"That's the problem there." Knives said empathetically. "They are working based on the history. The past ways of doing things, without any true understand of what they are dealing with. The plants nowadays are being treated like simple machines, not what they truly are. And it is that very lack and understanding for their care that is going to spell the end of them one day! During the hectic years of early colonization that vital truth was lost and now the engineers of today are just working based upon what those of the past had done. It drives me nuts every time I think about it. And don't even get me started on that sect of people that thinks the world needs to be purged of the forgotten technologies and try to bomb the…"

"Wait, wait, wait…" Elizabeth said, halting his passionate tirade before it could get going. "What they truly are…You mean that you know?"

"Yes. I know what they are, how they are made, what…"

"How? What are they? Tell me. I want to know. I've always wanted to know. I've been trying to find that out ever since I've been studying to become an engineer and…"

"Whoa, whoa…" Knives said, this time cutting her off before she could get going. "I would tell you everything about plants right here and now, but I highly doubt that you would believe me." Elizabeth shot him a look that said 'you had better not keep it from me or else'. Knives continued on before she had a chance to get angry with him. "At least you wouldn't believe me without seeing some of the truth with your own eyes first."

"What do you mean 'with my own eyes'?" She asked, intrigued.

"What I mean is to see a functioning plant from the inside. To see them for what they are."

"What you're talking is crazy Knives! To do something like that would be suicide. The sheer output of energy alone would…"

"Vash is still alive right? You locked him inside the core room of a plant that had been opening and he survived. I've done it myself countless times. Just to walk in there with it going, yes, it would kill you. But not if you adjusted the settings just so. If you truly want to know the truth, and if you trust me enough to give it a try, I can write down these settings for you so you can see with your own eyes the secret of the plants."

She had looked at him long and searchingly after that then slowly had agreed. After dinner he had wrote everything down as he said he would and promised her that he would reveal more when she was ready. Once again, she had agreed. And it was because of that agreement that she found herself alone a week later in the core room of a plant in a small town several hundred isles outside of December, paper with the set of instructions he had left her in one hand, and the hesitant feeling one would get when you knew you were about to do something wrong lingering in the back of her mind.

Elizabeth looked uncertainly down at the set of data that Knives had written out for her. Yes, his knowledge of the technology was impressive, but these figures didn't make much sense to her. For all she knew, entering in this information would send the plant into a state of shutdown. Or would end up killing her one. But still…her curiosity had been growing ever since that conversation over dinner. To find out the truth about plants…Was she willing to put so much at risk just to satisfy her curiosity? It was risky, some would call insane, but Knives had never lied to her or led her astray before and she doubted that he was about to start.

She stood by the control panel in the class B plant. Her team had been called out to do a quick inspection on it, nothing more. But it had the potential to be more to her. Undecided, she looked around at all the technology around her then back at the small paper. If she was going to do this it would have to be now. She was alone, and her assistants would be back in only twenty minuets. She had to make her decision now.

Standing up straighter with a determined expression, Elizabeth activated the technology of the control station and began to type in the data quickly. As the last of it was entered, she put the paper away and stepped back to look up expectantly and nervously at the ceiling. The seconds ticked by but nothing happened. With an annoyed sigh she turned and prepared to leave.

Her irate thoughts were brought to a halt as an eerie hum began to fill the air. It was a sound that was completely alien to her and made the hair on the back of her neck prick up. The ceiling of the core room opened up, making her jump, fearing the worst, but then an intense yet warm light began to pour into the room. Entranced by this behavior she had never seen before in a plant, Elizabeth stepped closer to the center of the room. In wonder she looked up to the sight that was above her.

-L&P-

Knives sat in the silent study playing chess against himself, quickly coming to a stalemate. Removing the last remaining knight off of the board, he thought back to all those games he had played with Millie. It had been quite some time since they had played chess together…it was back at the ship. In fact, the last game they had played together he was still behind bars and she had won. What he wouldn't give for the chance to play with her again. It wouldn't matter to him in the slightest if he lost, just as long as he got the chance to see her. To see all of them.

He was reaching for a pawn when the sound of the front door slamming made him jerk. Instantly wary, he struggled to his feet with the clumsy crutches although he knew he would be essentially useless in a fight. To his relief, Elizabeth came sweeping in though the door of the study. To his concern, she didn't look like she was planning on stopping.

Unexpectedly, she tackled him in a tight embrace. It was only her tight hold on him that kept him from being knocked over completely. Stunned beyond all response and slightly worried, Knives just held her in return until she decided to let go and tell him what the hell was going on. Abruptly Elizabeth let go and pushed back, this time sending Knives careening over into the floor.

Ignoring his pained cry of protest, she swept aside the folds of her dress and knelt down beside of him and began to talk excitedly. "I did it. I entered in the information you gave me and I saw it. At first I wasn't going to but you seemed so confident in what you were saying that I was caught up in it, and I'm so glad that I took your word for it. And when I did I saw it and it looked back down at me, and its eyes, they were the most…"

"Whoa…slow down some…breathe…" Knives laughed, quickly becoming infected by her ecstatic mood.

"I _saw_ it. It was _alive_ in there." She said delightedly, helping him to sit up. "It was the most incredible thing I ever saw. And to think that all the years I've been studying these…all the years that we've been using these beings…we never knew…" She said slightly breathlessly.

Knives smiled at her. He _knew_ that he had been right in letting her see what plants truly were. She wasn't just some engineer that was after output, no, she cared for them. And that was _before_ she knew that they were alive. And her excited rather than frightened reaction to them was further proof of that. It was flattering…in an odd sort of way.

"All the time I had spent working with plants I've always known that there was something special about them. That they weren't just machinery…they were something more. Thank you so much for letting me see the truth for my own eyes. I'll never forget it." She said, then took his face in her hands and kissed him.

Once again he was rendered thoughtless and motionless by her actions. After letting the kiss linger for a moment longer than he expected it to, she pulled away, smiled, and said something that went completely unnoticed by him about dinner. Elizabeth helped him to his feet, seemingly oblivious that he was in a state of muted shock, and excitedly left the room as quickly as she came.

He stared dumbly at the spot she had just vacated for a moment trying to figure out what just happened. She just kissed him? Why? She could have just thanked him and settled with the tackle…er…hug, but no…Was she actually that passionate about her profession or was it him? Why would it have anything to do with him? And why did he care? Shaking his head clear of the foreign fuzz that seemed to have filled it, Knives left the study to follow after her.

As she prepared them something with him awkwardly trying to help, she bombarded him with questions. She wanted to know everything he did about plants, even down to the smallest detail. And he knew a lot. Even though part of him said that it wasn't wise to, that it would lead to questions he couldn't afford to answer, he told her everything anyway.

The session of questions and answers lasted beyond the preparation of the meal and into the consumption of it. Thankfully, Elizabeth didn't ask him how he came to know all of these things. She seemed to sense his discomfort about it and steered well clear of the subject. But for the most part it was him who did the talking.

He told her of how the plants came to be (the gentler version), of all the aspects of them that mankind had forgotten over the years, and what all they could do if applied properly, the formation of geo-plants being the prime example. She listened to it all and still wanted to know more, even the little gritty technical details. Knives answered all the questions she threw at him, and would have continued to if it hadn't been late and he hadn't insisted that it was time for them to go to bed.

At first Elizabeth had objected, but because she had work the next day she couldn't afford to stay up any later than she already had. With several thanks and the insistence that he tell her more tomorrow, she had given him a quick peck on the cheek and had gone to bed. At first he had tried to go to sleep, but soon found that he couldn't get the day and all that had happened in it out of his head. If only she hadn't kissed him then he would have been able to get some sleep before the sun came up.

-L&P-

A week. A whole hateful, lonely week would she be gone. Some town far away in the outer region had called upon the Kantacle Union for assistance with its two poorly faring plants and so Elizabeth and her crew had been sent out. By all means he was happy that she could help them out (they were his own kind after all), but he just wished that it wouldn't take so long. Or that somebody else could do it. Or that she could take him with her. But seeing as how he was barely on his feet now without any assistance from the crutches and that he might be recognized by her staff it was completely out of the question.

Whenever she had first told him that she was going to have to go away for sometime on a trip the first thing that he had asked her was how long she was going to be gone. The second thing he asked was if she was going to be alright. And the third was if she wanted him to come along with her.

She had laughed at his concern and had called him a worrying old nanny. She was only going to be gone a week, perhaps less, and not only did she own a gun, she knew how to use it. After waving aside his concerns and assuring him that she would be back as quickly as possible, Elizabeth had packed her things and was gone that very day. Trying to lighten his dour mood, she left a parting warning about what she would do to him if he destroyed her kitchen again while she was away.

And so that was how he found himself sitting in the study, developing cabin fever after only an hour, with nothing to do except for sulkily count down the hours until she returned. To sit here in this large empty house with her personality displayed everywhere and even her scent lingering to torment him.

His moody thoughts were interrupted when a black cat jumped up and onto the book that he had been leafing through. "What do you want?" He asked it sourly. It just stared at him expectantly. "If you are wanting something to eat, fine. But if you want company, tough luck. I'm feeling a little lonely myself and I'm in a bad mood, so leave me alone."

"Nyaa."

'No, I don't want to talk about it." He snapped at the cat. "I understand perfectly well why she had to go, and I know that she'll provide the best possible care for those plants. I have every possible faith in her to aid them, so the idea of me feeling resentful is absurd. While I may be reduced to being mostly human, I am still a plant so their welfare is of a top priority for me."

"Nyaa."

"_No_. I am not jealous. It is her job after all. And besides…once they are fixed she's coming back to me. So there." He said loftily, pulling out a large pad of stationary. Her desire to know all the technical aspects of plants that he did was insatiable. A productive way to spend his week would be to write down as much as he could for her. It would be a surefire way to please her, much better than his pathetic attempts to cook. As he wrote, the feeling of being watched grew. Knives slowly glanced up over the paper to see the cat still staring at him.

"Don't give me that look…I am not being manipulative. As chief engineer she needs to know these things, and in doing this, plants are aided. That is as personal as it gets for me. What? What did you assume that I was after? Another kiss? You mistake me for some hormonally overactive human teenager. And do you honestly thing that I would resort to bribery for affection?"

"_Nyaa_."

"_Oh_, so it's not to what lengths I would go to for affection, but rather the fact that I _want_ it in the first place, is it? Well I'll have you know that I feel…Elizabeth is to me…Well…If you must call it something, call it Nightingale syndrome, ok? Even though I am fully healed and even walking pretty well now…Dammit quit staring at me like that! It's not like I'm in love with her, alright!"

The cat just sat there staring at him with a look that could only be described as smug written all over its whiskered face. He sat the paper and pen down and stared off into space, thinking hard. He didn't want to admit it; he didn't want to have to confront these feelings, because they confused him. He didn't know the first thing about love, except from what he's seen of his brother and the others. And their actions had confused him as well. But yet he couldn't shake the thought from his mind: was this love?

She was beautiful, yes, but what he saw in her went beyond mere physical attraction. She was by far the most intelligent human he had ever seen. She appeared aloof and detached but that was only because she was hesitant to make emotional ties for fear of losing them, a result of her childhood as an orphan. She seemed like a rich spoilt princess that was accustomed to always getting her way, but Knives had seen her work tirelessly for hours on end without a word of complaint and with a quiet grace that few could hope to match. She spent most of her time alone rather than with a social group but it was not because she thought that she was too good for them like everyone assumed, it was because she held onto her values and integrity despite the price and would not partake in their petty games. In all his years of living he had never come across someone quite like her and he was sure that he never would again. He didn't want to let such a person go. But was it love?

What was it that Rem had said to them so long ago? Love was the reason you smiled when the only thing you felt like doing was crying. Love was the reason you got up each morning even when you knew it was going to be a bad day that day. Love was seeing all the broken and twisted pieces of a person that everyone else had rejected and thinking that they were beautiful just the way they were. That love was taking your life and everything in it and placing it in someone else's hands, not because they were more careful with it than you, or that they could make better use of it, but only for the simple fact that you wanted it to be theirs and no one else's. Even being the bright child he was, it had still confused the hell out of him. But now…now he thought that he finally knew what she was trying to say. And he doubted that he could have said it better himself.

-L&P-

At the sound of the front door opening, both Knives and the black cat sleeping on his chest shot up, instantly awake. The cat jumped off of him and Knives jumped out of the bed. He paused at the doorway long enough to remember to throw on a pair of pants before taking off down the hallway. He left his gun behind because even though it was three days early, he knew it was her. He could feel it. But at the same time something felt off.

He jogged unsteadily into the foyer just in time to see her wearily set her things heavily down in the floor. "Elizabeth…You're back early. I didn't expect to see you for…what's wrong?" He asked her as she didn't even look up at him as he came by. "Are you alright?" He asked, quickly growing concerned.

Wordlessly she embraced him, resting her forehead against his chest tiredly. "Yeah…I'm home…" She finally whispered out. Her strange behavior was starting to scare him a little. He held onto her gently, unsure of what to do. "I'm back early because…there wasn't much left for us to do…We lost them Knives…both the plants are gone."

"What happened?" He asked slowly, wincing at the loss of two more of his own.

"The information that the town sent us was inaccurate. It was through no fault of their own, just a false reading because of the degradation of the systems though poor care over the years. If we had known we would have sent out a more urgent response, but…By the time we had got there one of them had already failed. It just quit working and nothing we did to it later would bring it back. But the other was verging on overload. I…there was nothing I could do…It was too dangerous and we simply did not have the time…"

"I'm sorry Elizabeth." He said quietly, resting the side of his face against the top of her head.

"It was a small town. It can't survive without its plants, and now all those people are going to have to relocate. I feel bad enough for all of them, but…but what…the plants Knives! Those were living things! Beautiful, amazing, living things. And there was nothing…I…I couldn't…" The rest of what she was trying to say was lost as she was overcome with emotion.

He knew nothing to say that would ease her pain and guilt about what happened. He was confident that she had done her best to prevent what had happened, but still it was a hard loss especially for someone who was growing more emotionally attached than professionally to plants. But still…he had to try.

"I'm so sorry about what had happened. Sometimes you do all you can do but still lose. It's through no fault of your own…that's just how life is at times. And just like any living being, plants have their time too. But just like I told someone once…you need to focus on the lives you save instead of just the lives that slip though your grasp."

"I know…I know…"

"So no more of this, alright?" He asked letting go of her. "Common, I'll go make you something to eat so that way you'll be entertained, distracted, and hopefully fed all at once." He received the laugh he had been aiming for and Elizabeth allowed herself to be led into the kitchen.

Despite his exaggeration, everything went normally with his cooking. Even though he could see that she was still upset, he also noted that his awkward attempts to cheer her up were working. He was just finishing everything up and pouring them both some coffee when she surprised with an unexpected statement. It was an uncomfortable topic for him, but he would accept anything that got her mind off of the loss of the plants.

"I had forgotten all about those." She said. Knives looked over his shoulder at her and saw she was observing his back. Being in such a rush to greet her and then to console her, he had forgotten all about a shirt. Despite the fact that she had seen more of him than that, he still found himself blushing.

"I forget about them myself half the time. Out of sight out of mind." He said carrying everything over to the table.

"I had wanted to know how you had gotten such awful scars, but it wasn't appropriate to ask then considering the state you were in when you first came here." She said quietly, accepting her coffee.

"I don't really like to think about it. I've had worse experiences, but it's still a rather unpleasant memory."

"I'm sorry for bringing it up Knives, I was just curious. Please forget that I even mentioned it."

"Don't worry about it. And besides…in a way I kind of deserve them, so I'm not really complaining." He told her, making it seem to be no big deal so as to not upset her on his account. She looked at him questioningly.

"Deserve it? What do you mean?" He looked away uncomfortably.

"The attack wasn't meant for me, but they resulted in getting the right man anyway. The one who…well…"

"Hey…" She began, concerned. "I thought that you were over that…That you made your atonement by doing the right thing and that its in the past."

"…It will never be made right." He said, looking away. He was surprised when Elizabeth reached over and grabbed him by the chin, forcing him to look at her.

"Now you listen to me. I don't want to hear anymore of this, dwelling on the past and such. You say that you have changed and I believe you. This means that you are a new person. New person, new life. You can't keep dwelling on these things; you have to look to the future now. Or am I going to have to end up pulling you out of _another_ pile of rubble? Hmm?" She challenged, her expression stern and unwavering. He watched as she silently dared him to say something then laughed. She sat back in her seat, uncertain whether or not to be confused, amused, or insulted.

"That's why I've missed you." He laughed. "You always know what to say whenever I'm at a loss of words. Whenever I can't find the answer you always present it like its no problem at all, and you always make a point out of letting me know it was sitting right in front of my face the whole time too." She gave in and laughed too.

"That's true. And don't you forget it either."

"Oh, I won't. But even though you're right…I would willingly accept getting shot and buried again if only it meant that I would be able to stay here longer with you." He said in all seriousness, wondering if he were doing the right thing. But then again…time was running out to let her know how he felt so it was now or never.

"What do you mean?" She asked him, all the humor fading away now.

"I'm healed. I'm walking fairly well on my own now. I know that it's only a matter of time before I have to go, but I admit that I've been too afraid to ask you when that time would be."

"Oh…that…" She said, looking away. Knives could clearly hear the disappointment in her voice.

"Did I say something wrong?" He asked her, wondering which part of what he had said was what had upset her. She stared off for a long moment before finally turning back to face him.

"I've really missed you too Knives. The whole time away I only thought of returning. Now think what you will of me for being bluntly honest but I've never met someone quite like you before, and no one else around can compare. I don't like playing games or beating around the bush. I like you Knives, I really do. Is it terrible of me to say that although I was glad for your remarkably quick recovery, I was also a little disappointed with it as well?"

"You _were_?" He asked, although that part really didn't matter to him. All he had heard was that she said that she liked him. Came right out and said it, frank and honest. Yet another thing that he admired about her. And he didn't really have to do anything. Damn, winning women over was easier than he thought.

"Yes. Before I knew it I had grown quite attached to you, but I knew that it would only be a short time before you left. In all honesty, I did not expect to find you here when I returned. Since you have been doing so well, I expected you to make a clean break while I was away. That was another thing that had made these past few days so hard."

"I would never have left like that. I was expecting, no dreading, whenever you had decided that I had been around long enough. You've never mentioned it, but I just figured that you were being kind. But the truth is Elizabeth, I don't want to leave. Because I like you to and these past few days had been hell without you." He was rewarded with her glancing away, slight flush tinting her cheeks. "And I was wanting to know if you would allow me to stay here longer. Not as a patient, or as an informant, but as a companion."

"Yes. Yes, I would like that very much." She said, and leaned forward to give him that kiss that he had been hoping for.

-L&P-

"Tell me a story." Elizabeth said, snuggling up closer to him. The night air out on the balcony outside of her room was slightly chilly, but the body heat they shared from sitting so closely together more than made up for it.

"What was that?" Knives asked, being shaken from his thoughts. Considering that they were about her, he figured that he would have been keyed in to whatever she said, but that simple sentence had flew right over his head. She laughed and rested her head against his shoulder, staring up at the moons.

"I said tell me a story. I'll bet that you have quite a few up your sleeve. And I'll also wager that some of them are quite out there."

"You've got that right." Knives chuckled. "In fact, they're so out that you'll probably call me a liar and smack me. I would be better off telling you something fictional."

"Oh, now you've got me curious…but since you always so painfully shy about yourself how about that fictional story? Let me guess…it's a fairytale?"

"More along the lines of science fiction. But if you want I can begin it with 'once upon a time'."

"Actually I prefer 'a long long time ago…'."

"…You know…that one might actually be more appropriate." Knives said after a moment of thought. What the hell was he doing, he wondered, absently running his fingers through her hair. Was he really about to do this?

"Is this going to be a story that you've heard before or are you just going to make one up on the spot? I would be awfully impressed if that were the case."

"Sorry, but I'm not that artistically inclined. I heard this one not too long ago." Elizabeth play hit him.

"You're not supposed to tell me that. You're supposed to try and impress me remember?"

"Yeah and when you found out that I was lying you would really let me have it."

"True." She smiled, earning one from him as well. "So this story…"

"Alright…A long long time ago, one hundred and thirty four years ago to be exact, all of humanity was still tracing its way across the stars in search for paradise. Decades had already been spent in search of a suitable home after Earth had been lost. Whenever the fleet would near a new star system the scouting crew would leave cold sleep and run scans to see if it was habitable or not. Except this one time, they were awoken by something other than their approach of a planet."

"This isn't going to be one of those space monster stories, is it? I hate those you know."

"No, no monsters. Not the fanged slimy type anyway…When the crew was pulled out of cold sleep, computer informed them that something was wrong in one of the plant transport ships." Knives felt her sit up and listen more intently. "Whenever the crew went to investigate, they found that two of the class C plants had broken…and their contents were lying on the floor…alive.

An occurrence like this had never happened before and naturally the crew was frightened. They were planning on killing the pseudo-human creatures, but one woman, Rem, would not allow it. Now Rem was very…persuasive. Eventually the rest of the crew gave into her and she adopted the two children…let's call them, hmm…Mazda and Mainyu. For a while all was well…if not a little strange. These two, being plants and not human, were very different from normal children yet the same. They grew at a tremendous rate, had a high IQ that was steadily increasing, and began to exhibit special abilities. Yet for all this they still tried to sneak junk food, played games, and tried to hide at bath time." Elizabeth laughed at this.

"Why do I sense a 'but' coming soon?" She asked.

"Because you're right. Most of the crew accepted them but one. A cruel man who took every opportunity to torment them he could. Mazda clung onto Rem through this but Mainyu folded in on himself and his thoughts. And that's where things took a dark turn. In addition to jealously about the closeness of Mazda and Rem, Mainyu's pain sent him on a destructive pattern of thinking that would have made Darwin proud. Just because one human was bad, one human had serious faults, the entire race became tainted in his eyes. As the torments became worse it came down to survival…_Homo sapiens_ versus _Homo angelus_. And with childlike arrogance and overconfidence with his rationalizations and abilities, Mainyu turned on the crew. Killing everyone."

"This is a horrible story Knives! Why are you even telling me this?" Elizabeth asked, pulling away from him to look him in the eye. "When I asked you for a story I expected something a little different. Something a little happier and romantic perhaps…not a violent depressing one."

"It gets better in the end. It takes a little while but it does get better…I promise."

"Alright." She agreed with a sigh, setting back down beside of him. Knives continued.

"Out of those on the ship, only Mazda, Mainyu, and Rem remained. Killing the crew was not enough; all of humanity had to go. Mainyu had altered the course of all the seeds ships to crash on some barely habitable planet that was filled with nothing but sand. But in a courageous selfless act, Rem stayed behind on the dying ship and managed to guarantee the safe landing of the human race before she herself was lost. And so, this planet became home to all, a sandy hell rather than the dreamt about paradise.

Mainyu was infuriated by humanity's survival, but Mazda was relived. The betrayal of his twin and loss of their mother hurt the more compassionate of the two deeply, but because he had no one else he stuck by his brother. Or he did for a short while anyway. It was only when Mainyu created two weapons of mass destruction, ironically dubbed 'the angel arms', with the intent to exterminate humanity did Mazda stand firm. With a deep founded respect of all life, plant or otherwise, he could not allow his brother to carry out his plans. And so they fought…and Mazda won. And stole the weapons away.

Over the course of an entire century were the two brothers at war. One fighting for death, the other for life. Battle after battle was fought between the two. Sometimes physically, others were battles based on principal. There were victory and losses on either side. Both had their own allies and enemies. But one of their most notable battles of all happened a few decades ago, in a grand city in the eastern region.

Despite the time passed, Mazda still remained deeply attached to his adopted mother Rem, and so when news reached him of her last living relative he immediately set out to find the man. But unknown to him that the information was false. It had been planted by Mainyu in a cruel attempt to lure his brother into a confrontation. Unprepared for the fight, the treachery, Mazda quickly fell. But was not killed. Instead he was forced to use the very weapon he had stole to prevent their use. Even though the battle was lost for Mazda and the city fell, he managed to get in a devastating blow to his brother in that would ensure peace for a few years longer."

"You're being vague with the story Knives…" Elizabeth said quietly. "For a story so detailed you are certainly being very unclear with a few things."

"Uhh…like what?" He asked, feigning innocence.

"Well…like the name of the city that fell for one thing…such a large city would surely have a name. Or what these two brothers looked like…did they have blue eyes, or green. Were they tall? Or since Mazda stole away the two original weapons, why wasn't a third weapon produced by the angel arms factory? Hmm…catchy. I can almost see the logo for that now…a.g.l. bracketed by little wings…Simple, yet clever. Sounds like something one who was more factually than artistically inclined would design." She said emotionlessly, sitting up and looking at him.

How he could have been so stupid as to forget the engravings on his guns Knives would never know. He had given everything away the moment he had mentioned the angel arms. What he was trying to do, even _he_ was still unclear about. Perhaps he was trying to gauge her possible reaction by veiling it in a story form. Perhaps he had been hoping that she would figure it out because he lacked the courage to come out and tell her the truth. But either way, the flat cold look she was giving him now made his heart drop. What had he been _thinking_?

"I…umm…I…"

"This isn't just any story…is it Knives?" She asked him, still unreadably.

"…No. its not." He quietly confessed.

"And after this city of a million fell…what happened next?" She unexpectedly asked him. Knives looked at her in quiet surprise for a moment, then up to the sky. It would be easier to continue if he only looked at the cold stars than her painfully cold eyes.

"Unable to do much m-himself," Knives corrected before he could say 'myself' even though the black cat was already out of the bag. "Mainyu began to gather those that would do his work for him. Extermination of the human race was set aside…his only goal now was revenge. But those that he had gathered were not enough. They left their scars, yes, but thankfully they were not able to overcome Mazda. And then the day came where the two came together once more for a final showdown.

Both armed with bullets and the angel arms, they fought, reducing the entire area of a geo-plant to nothing but splinters and sand. Once again, the winner was Mazda and he took steps to ensure that this would be the last round. Soon the very thing that allowed them to be capable of such destruction, their plant nature, was drained away until they both were essentially human. But that was only half the battle. It took many months, many tears, and the help of several others to slowly turn the monster into a man. By all means they should have killed him, any sane person would have, but they didn't. They were stronger than that."

"How could a being that has lived over a hundred years in hatred change in only a matter of months? That does not seem possible." Elizabeth asked distantly, pulling his gaze from the stars down to his scarred hands.

"I never said it was an easy task." He said quietly, running his thumb over a scar. "In fact, they were fought and rebelled against at every turn. Self destruction was a more appealing notion than what they were suggesting…For him to let go of pain and hate of the past and accept the truth that there were good people in the world. That _what_ you were did not define _who_ you were, and visa versa. The task was even beginning to seem impossible to that determined bunch. Ironically enough, it was only after an act of cruelty and rejection by the others did this Mainyu realize the truth behind his life. Thankfully his brother was as insane as he was merciful and accepted him back.

The joy at the reformation of his brother was short lived however, as trouble fell upon the little group once more. The battles that the two had over the course of the years had not gone unnoticed by the people living around them. Mainyu was able to avoid the attention and remain in anonymity, leaving his brother to take the full brunt of the blame about the damage that they have caused. A fact that came back to haunt them.

Seeing the suffering caused by his selfish actions, Mainyu came up with a plan to free his brother from persecution, although since finally finding life actually worth living rather than simply a power struggle, he would have rather not put it to action. But circumstance boiled it down to his life or his brothers…and Mainyu knew that his life was not worth saving. And so he stepped up to die in place of his brother. It may have seemed like a coward's way out from his own pain to some…but his life didn't matter to him…only the wellbeing of his brother did."

A soft sound caught his attention. Knives looked up and was completely shocked by what he saw. He had expected her to have a hard condemning look, hating him for what he had done and making her believe that he was somebody worth caring for. But instead he saw her wipe away a tear and its twin running down her other cheek. She was crying, and it wasn't out of rage or fear either. Compassion, sympathy, love, pride. It was all there, surprising him. Comforting him. Unable to help himself, Knives reached over and pulled her into his arms. Instead of pulling back like he expected, she held to him tightly, still crying.

"That's not the end of the story you know…I expected it to be the end myself but I was surprised." Knives softly said, running his fingers through her hair once more. "Instead of dying like he fully expected to, he was pulled from the destruction by an angel. For no other reason than for the sake of compassion. Someone whose touch was as light as a butterfly's but strong enough to pull him back from the edge of death. Someone who effortlessly drove back the demons and nightmares. She saved him not only from death but himself. Instead of thoughts of death and the past, she gave him thoughts of life…thoughts of love. Because that was the truth of the matter…he loved her…"

"…This story…" Elizabeth said, pulling back slightly and looking up at him. "How does it end?"

"I don't know." Knives confessed. "I don't know what's supposed to happen next."

"Perhaps I can help you out with the next part." She said reaching up and taking his face in her hands, and then slowly kissed him. It was his first real kiss. Not those quick pecks that he would either receive or steal from her occasionally, but a true passion filled kiss. He didn't have the first idea as to what he was doing, but was more than content to let her teach him. And she did. After an eternity and yet not long enough she pulled away and then to his surprise and elation, whispered in his ear that she loved him too. Then she took his hand and pulled him inside, leaving the cold night air behind.

-L&P-

In the dream he waited. Waited, smiling mirthlessly while the blood of the man he had just murdered slowly spread out to drip from the desk onto the floor. He had been waiting nearly a decade for this moment. All his planning, all his watching had come down to this. The timing was perfect…and any moment now that door would open and his brother would get the surprise of his life. Well…second only to the surprise of what he had in mind for the city of July.

Things had almost gone perfectly. The look on Vash'es face had been as priceless as he had expected. He was still spouting off that nonsense of Rem's, but had Knives truly been expecting anything different? Still, it was disappointing. Disappointing and disgusting. His mood lifted once again as he activated the angel arm. Seeing his brother's reaction to it for the first time was better than he would have ever hoped. It was made even better by the fact that he fought it instead of letting it run its course. And then there was the anticipation of when the smoke cleared and he realized that he had been the one to completely destroy the city. But then the unexpected…

He was aiming at him! Again! The traitor! Was it just for show or was he actually going to shoot him again? To be hit with such a blast would mean the end, that would spell death! He was trying to kill him, the hypocrite! Before he had time try to reverse the reaction, before he had time to talk him down or even move out of the way it had happened…

Knives sat up straight in the study chair with a start, knocking the book that had been draped across his lap into the floor. He ran his shaking hands through his hair trying to get the images of the dream out of his head. No…not a dream, a memory. A memory of what a heartless monster he had been not only to the world but to his brother. Especially his brother. With a deep sigh, he fought back against the horrible memory of July and what he had done.

Knives looked around the silent study, wondering with a disquieting feeling of _exactly_ how long it had been since he had thought of his brother. Or any of them. Lately all his time and thoughts had been focused solely on Elizabeth. Not once in weeks had any of his thoughts or concerns had gone out to them. He realized with shock that he had nearly forgotten about them all. If it hadn't have been for that nightmare how long would have it been before he would have remembered them? The fact that they had slipped from his mind in the first place ashamed him.

Leaving the book in the floor, Knives left the study and went to go sit out on the balcony outside of Elizabeth's room. All the time he had spent with her was precious to him, these past few weeks especially. She had accepted him for not only what he was, but what he had been. She fully accepted the fact that he was not human, and she also accepted his horrible past and even more…she forgave him of it.

That was what amazing him the most, that she would forgive him. In spite of all the pain he's caused her personally she still forgave him and loved him. He lacked the words to fully describe how much that meant to him. She gave him love, something he's witnessed but never experienced himself nor believed that he ever would. Something he never wanted to let go. But she was not the only one that loved and accepted him, those people were somewhere out in the world missing him, grieving for him. And he had forgotten about them. And now that he's remembered them…his heart began to ache for them once more.

He missed Millie's childlike friendship and good nature, despite whatever mood he was in. He missed Wolfwood's awkward attempts to talk with him and then his to-hell-with-it attitude when he ended up tripping all over his words. He missed Meryl's confidence, then her explosive, yet still caring, temper when he screwed up (sometimes he would provoke her just for laughs). And then there was Vash…

Here he was fine, far better than fine actually, with no fear for his safety or worry when his next meal would be, all along with the companionship and love of a beautiful woman. And more than likely everyone was out in the outer regions where day to day life was a struggle, and no doubt with the loss of him weighing down on them. Would it be too much though, Knives wondered. It had never crossed his mind before, certainly not when he had been taking action, but would the loss of him drive his brother, or any of them, to do something stupid?

With the hazy abilities that Vash had only begun to teach him, Knives reached out to see if he could pick up even the slightest hint of him. He put everything he had into searching for that link that had always connected the two of them but the only thing he found was the oppressing sense of grief and yearning. But Knives was uncertain if he was picking it up from Vash…or if he was feeling his own sorrow at missing his brother.

All day and into the afternoon he sat out there looking up into the sky, lost in memories, lost in wishes, just lost. It was only when Elizabeth returned home and called him inside did he turn away from the expanse of the blue sky. Surprised at his uncharacteristically downturned mood, she had asked him what was wrong. Seeing the concern filling her green eyes, he had simply smiled and told her that it had been just a bad dream. Nothing more.

-L&P-

Knives stared up at the dark ceiling for hours, unable to still his mind. His thoughts kept running round and round, like a frightened thomas. He wondered how everyone was doing. How Vash was. He must be hurting so badly…He wondered if they had left the city yet…Yes, they would have. And if so, where had they gone? Knives wanted so badly to go hunt for them. It had been nearly all he had thought about while he was still bedridden. He had dreamed of being reunited with them nearly every night, had craved it so badly. But that was then…and the reason for his hesitation about leaving was currently sleeping curled up next to him using his shoulder for a pillow.

Of all the things that he had thought over in his long life, love was not one of them, so it was no surprise that he had been rendered helpless once it had blindsided him. This beautiful, intelligent, amazing woman that had pulled him from the ruins had slowly wrapped him around her finger without him ever realizing what was going on. And now that he did, he realized that this was where he would like to stay. The actual physical location of 'here' didn't matter, the only thing that did was that she was there too.

But what would it be like if he actually did stay? What could possible become of this? This city was too big, too important. After all the commotion he had caused, and after being seen by so many, he would constantly have to stay in hiding. That was no way to live…especially not for her.

He was keeping her trapped here with him. Not forcefully, no, but her love of him was keeping her chained to this house as well. It was already interfering with her work, and Knives could only imagine how it must have damaged her personal life. Especially early on when he needed constant care. He knew that she only had a handful of friends, but she recently had to cut off connections with them in order to keep him secret. She deserved better than that. She deserved to be free, not perpetually stuck inside and isolated because of him. With a heart wrenching realization, Knives knew that despite how much they loved each other, they were heading nowhere fast.

Elizabeth had done more for him than she would ever know. More than once he had tried to tell her but he hadn't been able to express himself fully or their affection had gotten in the way. Either way, he still wished that she only knew. Instead of the silent ruminating individual, she made him feel like someone with life in them, carefree, playful even. As long as he didn't pick up that horrid laugh of his brothers he would be fine with that. With her…it didn't hurt anymore. Her acceptance made him truly feel that his past was in the past, not an oppressive weight hanging about his neck. A bitter reminder everyday, every night of his sins. She made all of that disappear. He felt free, with nothing but future stretching out before him. But was that really true, he wondered?

What future was there trapped inside out of fear of exposing himself and risking his secret? And what of never seeing Vash or any of the others again? What future was there for her to only have him as company until time and exasperation turned love into resentment? For either of them to truly have a future…for them to be free…he would have to leave.

Knives gently pulled himself free of her and sat up slowly. With a quiet sigh, he ran one hand down his face. There was no possible way that he could ask her to come with him. There was a likely possibility that she might even tell him yes if he did ask. But after growing up with nothing and working so hard to get anywhere and anything in her life, to ask her to leave it all for more than likely some barely habitable place in the outer regions was just selfish.

He looked down at her peaceful sleeping form. Did she think about these things too, he wondered. She was intelligent, surely she would have also realized that things could not continue on like this forever. If she did think the same, she gave no indication of it, no hesitation towards things between the two of them. Perhaps she didn't want to face that reality as much as he didn't. But they would have to. And Knives knew that he would have to be the one to do it, because he was the one who would have to go…

It was the hardest thing that he ever had to do. Facing death was nothing in comparison to getting out of that warm bed, leaving that note filled with his reasoning's and heartbreaking apologies, and walking away into the night air. His feet took control of the situation and carried him out of the city because his mind was back with her and it refused to leave. Only when the sun was rising up above a sandy crest did Knives come to and look about him.

The whole of December was behind him bathed in mist and early morning light. She would be waking up by now, he thought despondently. She would first see that he wasn't beside her any more, then she would see his message. Knives turned away from the city as he turned away from the thought. They were both just too painful to look at any longer. Hoisting his small bag up higher on one shoulder, he whispered three mournful words back to December before walking into the desert.

"Farewell…my butterfly…"


	21. Brother

**Chapter Twenty One:**

**Brother**

The pain from a broken heart was more devastating than any gunshot wound, Knives soon realized. An actual wound gave you something to fight against, a pain to overcome, it essentially boiled down to either fight or die. But a broken heart took away all reasons for fighting. It sapped your energy, ached too deeply for words, and made you want to lie down and die. Once again he realized just how naïve he was, and for someone his age it was purely shameful. And once again he felt a surge of pride and admiration for his brother. From the very moment they had set foot on this world Vash had been struggling against a broken heart over Rem. And the fact that he had endured this torment again and again over the course of his life and yet still kept going was a marvel to Knives. Some days, the inspiration of such strength was the only thing that kept him going.

For the first time in his life he had found love, and had received it in turn. It wasn't the platonic love that he had only known in his life, it was something more, something indescribable. And yet he had to let it go, for her sake...and for his. Many times at night out in the desert, when he finally had to stop in his hunt for his brother out of exhaustion he had far too much time to think. Too much time to second guess himself. Too much time to miss her.

He could have always stayed with Elizabeth, lived with her, and aided her (and the world) with his intimate knowledge about plants. He could have had a home. But as appealing as that thought was, Knives knew that he would never truly be happy. He would have had to have lived in hiding, the both of them constantly wary of being discovered. Even if it was what he wanted so badly, it would never work. Not like that. Eventually the situation would be too much for either of them to handle. And he loved her too much to put her through a charade of happiness and contentment. She deserved better.

Even if his need for secrecy hadn't been an issue, Knives would have still been troubled. Despite how amazing Elizabeth was and how in love with her he was, the empty space in his heart would continue to eat at him until he was nothing. And that empty space was Vash. His brother. He had once mocked Vash saying that he needed him to survive but as irony, fate, karma, or whatever would have it, Knives realized that it was the other way around. He desperately missed the others as well. Wolfwood, Millie, Meryl…especially her…What he wouldn't give to have them all near again. But as much as he loved them, they were not him. He and Vash shared something that went beyond mere genetics, beyond their long history together, it was a bond…they were…brothers.

And it was more than what he wanted, it was more than his pain. Knives knew that what he had done had been the right thing to do, but that didn't mean that it didn't hurt. Yes, it had hurt him and in more ways than one, but Knives could only imagine how Vash felt that day he had left. To wake up confused at the betrayal, finding the note, finding out that the world believed him to be dead. To realize that the brother that he had fought so hard and so long to save was now lost forever. He owed it to Vash to let him know that he was alive and well. But as time went on Knives was beginning to wonder if he had left Elizabeth in vain.

It had been three weeks since he set out on the long lonely road. Vash wasn't wanted anymore but Knives knew that he wouldn't be so foolish as to stay in a large place such as December. It was more likely that he would attempt to stay hidden, as was his nature and good sense. And Knives also knew that if Vash didn't want to be found that it would be nearly impossible to do so, but he had no choice but to keep moving. His brother had spent decades hunting him out, and though he hoped that it would not come to that, Knives was willing to do the same.

At first Knives had thought about seeking out Meryl's family to see if they knew anything about their whereabouts. But he quickly shied away from that thought. From the reception that they had given Meryl, Knives didn't doubt that they would turn him away and then immediately turn to the authorities. No, he couldn't rely on anyone to help him with this. He was on his own.

The only supplies he carried were the few items he could fit in a small bag, the remains of his gun, and Vash'es gun. Just like all those years ago, most of his traveling was done by foot and he slept exclusively in the desert to conserve the precious little money that he had. It was much harder than it used to be, Knives admitted to himself. And he found himself gaining a new sense of pity for humans and their frailness, and a great sense of admiration that they endured nevertheless. But still…his human state made things hard. Weariness, hunger, and heartsickness threatened to drag him down into the sand never to rise again. But the need to see his brother was stronger than all of that.

Knowing that it was his best bet, Knives had made for the town of Cira first, thinking that they would have returned to Millie's family as it was the closest (and probably only) friendly place for them. That afternoon when he had wearily walked up the long road to the farm the family had spotted him and instantly ran to him. They had heard the news of what happened in December and were beside themselves in worry and grief. With questions and concerns flying at him from all sides from people that were still mostly strangers to him, Knives didn't know which to answer first.

His floundering for a reply and his ragged appearance immediately made them assume the worst. Knives finally took control of the situation and told them everything that had happened: that he had tried to take his brothers place, that Vash and the others were fine, and how he had been saved. After the brief moment of relief, Millie's father asked to have a word alone with Knives, which was fine with him because he needed a moment with the man as well.

After a long pained silence from the man, Millie's father finally spoke. "I'm not saying that I agree with what you have done. There were other ways to solve this problem, although they might not have been apparent at the time. And the pain alone that you must have caused your brother and my children probably would have been worse than this bounty. That being said…it was an awfully noble act you have done on your brother's account. Despite whatever is in your past that you tried to escape by cutting those scars into your hands, you have truly proved that you are a man of character, and I offer any help I can to you. Because son…you sure look like you could use it." He said noting Knives'es downtrodden appearance. Knives chuckled at this despite himself.

"Thank you. That means a lot coming from you…And I needed to talk to you anyway…to ask a favor of you."

"Yes?"

"Could you and your family forget that you ever saw me here? Pretend that I was a stranger, and make sure that everyone here knows to act like that you all fully believe that my brother is truly dead." Knives quietly pleaded, not looking the man in the eye but rather out over the horizon.

"…I understand son…Too much at stake for people to find out the truth, or to even suspect it." The larger man kindly said. Knives nodded quietly in reply. "And if my daughter happens to come by or to write, what would you like to tell them? That you are still alive and looking for them?"

"…Yes. Tell them that I'm going to go search at Lina's then perhaps…hell…I'll go to Promontory, Tonim, and even L.R. if I have to." Knives said with determination flaring up within him, warring with the heartsickness and weariness.

"And where do I tell them to find you if you can't find them?"

"Nowhere. Because I'm not going to quit searching."

The big man nodded in quiet understanding. With nothing left to say they went back and rejoined the anxious waiting family. The patriarch silenced everyone with a simple rising of one hand. He then went and told everyone that, for the safety of their adopted family, they needed to continue on acting as if they believed Vash to be gone. They understood and agreed. They all did their best to try to convince Knives to stay with them and rest, at least for one night, but he resisted. He knew the wisdom of getting good rest and even better meals but couldn't deny the need to move onward. In the end, he had to settle for getting plenty of supplies and a good deal of money, because the family refused to let him leave in his condition.

And so he left, looking back over his shoulder to the group of kind gentle people waving him farewell and wishing him luck. Even though it was the last thing in the world he felt like doing, he turned and gave them the best smile he could muster and a wave in return. Once he had turned back around though the smile faded back into that tired melancholy expression that was the only thing on his face anymore.

Looking to make it out of town to find a place in the desert to settle down before nightfall, Knives trudged along ruminating once more about love, broken hearts, and the woman that for too short of a time had been his.

-L&P-

Knives hesitated at the entrance of the familiar little town. The memories of the few days he had spent here were not pleasant ones. Sometimes, even so long after, he still had dreams about what happened in that alleyway. It wasn't the first time he had been abused by humans…people, he corrected himself…but it certainly was his most violent encounter. Looking over the town he could feel the blade running down his back now…

He shrugged his shoulders, as if physically trying to shake the thought off, and to work out the strange tingling sensation that his scars were giving him. Another reason for his hesitation was the familiarity of the townspeople with Vash (and several with him). Were they familiar enough with his brother to be able to distinguish the two of them apart? Or would his strolling on in cause rumors of a humanoid typhoon sighting to flair up?

Knives frowned. Considering the alley incident had been started with a case of mistaken identity, the odds weren't stacked too high in his favor. His best bet would be to wait until cover of darkness then make his way around the town to Lina and grandmas house. His course of action settled, Knives ventured off the road in search of some rocks to take shelter behind from against the sun and heat of the day.

Considering his rather nasty attitude when they had first meet, and the fact that they were more than likely grieving over the loss of their adopted stray, Knives wasn't too sure that they would be too receptive of him. And since Vash had surely told the two about some of their rougher history together, thing might even blame _him_ for what had happened. Well, he thought with a smile, if he managed to survive trigger happy Sheryl and Lina's left of doom he would certainly have news for them.

Knives paused his train of thought. He was thinking in an already defeated state of mind, that Vash hadn't stopped by and that they haven't heard a hint of him. No…Vash loved those two far too much to leave them hanging like that. He would have found a way to let them know at least. Yes…they would know. The thought comforted him and helped renew his patience as he waited for cover of night.

Once darkness fell, he made his way far around town. He stayed a little further out than was actually necessary, but this was too important for him to be taking chances. Approaching the house from behind, he was more than a little surprised to see nothing but blackness though the windows of the house. Not a single light was to be seen from within.

Going around to the front door, Knives knocked loudly several times then waited. But there was only silence. Testing the door, he found it to be unlocked and it swung open with a protesting creek.

"Hello?" He called out tentatively. "Lina? Sheryl? Is anyone home?" Nothing. Frowning and fighting back worry, Knives fished around in his bag for a moment and pulled out a lighter. Upon lighting the tiny flame, he was shocked to find that the house was completely empty. The furniture, scant decorations, and all signs of occupation had been removed. Swearing loudly, he stormed back outside to sit on the porch.

They had moved on already. His brother had undoubtedly contacted them and they had left to stay with him. And from the looks of the place they had been gone for a few weeks. Swearing again, although quietly this time, Knives fought back tears of frustration and despair. What was he to do now? This had been his best hope, but they had moved on. Without him. How was he to find them now?

It was simple, he realized a moment later sitting up straighter and gripping the handle of his gun. All he had to do was go ask.

-L&P-

Mitch staggered out of the bar and into the night. Yet again, he had far passed his limits and was now paying the consequences. Oh but this would be nothing compared to what he would be paying in the morning, he hazily thought as walked on, leaning heavily on the alley wall for support. That and he had work tomorrow, then he had to go pick up that thomas like he had promised John that he would, and…

His rambling to-do list was cut short and he sobered up _real_ fast as the cool metal of a gun barrel was pressed to the back of his head. He slowly raised his hands up into the air, trying to be as complacent as possible knowing that he was in no condition for a fight.

"I don't haave much. But you can have it alll. Juss don't shoot me. Kay?" Mitch slurred out. When his things weren't taken and the gun wasn't removed, he chanced turning slightly to see who it was, all the while praying that it was some sick joke of one of his buddies. Instead of one of his friends, he saw a vaguely familiar blue eyed man.

"Remember me?" Knives asked coldly, the memories of the past injustice giving bite to his voice. Mitch stared at him confusedly for a moment, then his eyes widened as recognition set in through his alcohol drenched mind.

"You…" He whispered. And suddenly he knew that right there he was going to die. Pride abandoned, he began to cry and beg. "P-please don't k-kill me…I'm sorry! I'm sorry f-for what I…I…I didn't mean…please don't kill me…p-please…"

"Enough." Knives sharply said, shoving aside the vengeful thought of making the terrified man plead and squirm some more. "If I were going to kill you I believe that I would have to use a knife, not a gun. Fitting…don't you think?" The man just trembled. "But my intention is not to kill you. What I want to know is where Sheryl and Lina have gone. I have a message to give them…it was a last request to me from my late brother. And since you and I are…acquainted…it was only fitting that I come and ask you." Knives said, letting the old ice slide into his voice to let the man know that he meant business.

"Y-you…you're not gonna kill me?" Mitch breathed out in disbelief. Knives pressed the gun harder against the back of the man's head.

"I might just rethink that decision if you don't tell me what I want to know." He said, giving in _just_ _slightly_ to the vindictive pleasure of hearing the desperate pleading tone of the terrified man.

"S-Sheryl and L-Lina?"

"That's right…"

"I…I don't know where they went."

"Not acceptable." Knives spat, pulling back the hammer to emphasize his point.

"I swear! I swear it! I don't know! Nobody does! Just one day they up't and left! Not a word to anybody. Those two have never been much for socializn', but after you and your brother showed up and left again they hadn't had much to do with anybody! In fact, the folks here only found out that they were leaving the very day that they hit the road. That's all I know! I swear to ya!" Mitch pleaded, beginning to shake once more. To his indescribable relief, the gun was removed from the back of his head. Before he had a chance to relish the realization that he was going to live, a sharp impact to the side of his head sent him into darkness.

Knives looked down disdainfully at the unconscious man at his feet. He wanted to do more than just knock him unconscious, but he refused to go down that path again. Instead his consolation was that, in addition to his hangover, the man was going to have one hell of a headache whenever he woke up.

Thoughts of revenge aside, Knives thought over what the man had said. That they had moved on without a word. It made sense for them not to tell…but that left him with nothing. After all the journeying to get here and searching about, he was back exactly where he had started. No…things were worse now than before he had arrived here. Because before he had hope, a chance, but to get so tantalizingly close only to have it ripped away from him was almost too much for him to bear.

Without a look back at the little boring town, Knives turned and walked away into the night in search of what he had lost once more.

-L&P-

Town after town…nothing. Beginning to despair of ever finding his brother after more weeks of searching, Knives turned to New Oregon. Because they had spent such a long time here, being seen far too much, Knives highly doubted that Vash would dare return here. But out of desperation and a sense of duty, Knives turned and made the long trek through the desert to New Oregon, not only to hunt for Vash but to speak with the old scientist as well.

Because they had been friends and confidants for so many years, Knives was sure that the old man was hurting over the news of Vash'es death. The Doc deserved to know the truth of what really happened and that Vash was well. And Knives also had a personal reason for going to see the old man. When they all had left the ship Knives had still been somewhat of a…bastard. Without the help of that little old man he probably would have still been a monster, a hateful being doomed to live forever. And without him Vash never would have had the chance to live the life he had always longed for, and to Knives that in itself was deserving of immense gratitude.

The massive ship was in the early stages of being decommissioned. Buildings were already starting to sprout up around it giving Knives a nostalgic déjà vu. In the months that they had been gone the change that had already occurred was dramatic. This also meant that the ship was no longer habitable and that the man was currently residing elsewhere. But Knives could not just walk up and ask where he was. The people here knew him, knew his brother, and even though it was probably verging on paranoia, Knives was taking no chances. He spent the day hidden out in the desert and waited until night fell before creeping in the town and stealthily searching him out. After three nights of hunting Knives finally found him. In the hospital.

Climbing up through the second story window, Knives hid in the shadows until the nurse went about her rounds and left. He moved into the chair next to the bed but was unwilling to disturb the sleeping patient. Quietly he watched him, reflecting back on all the conversations he had with the man. He looked no different than when Knives had last seen him, but he seemed to exude the feeling of frailness. It was odd to sense such tiredness from the once lively man. The feeling of being watched soon woke the old scientist and he gave a slight start at the sight of someone sitting beside of him.

"Vash?" The Doc asked quietly, voice straining.

"No. It's me Knives."

"Oh…" The sorrow was evident in that single syllable. So he believed that Vash was gone as well. Quickly composing himself, the Doc turned to his unexpected visitor. "It's been a while Knives. How are you doing my boy?"

"Better than you apparently. What's wrong?" Knives asked bluntly. This elicited a small chuckle from the little man.

"Just old age catching up with me. The breakdown and betrayal of your physical self by time. Oh dear…I'm afraid that I'm not giving you very much to look forward to." The Doc said with another chuckle that quickly turned into a cough. "But it seems that it is a fate your brother has been spared from. How are you faring after such a loss? It may seem nosey but I've been deeply concerned for you ever since I heard the news." He said sadly, but was slightly taken aback whenever Knives smiled kindly at him. Having only seen Knives with a scowling or neutral expression, the foreign look was somewhat jarring. It was almost if he were looking at Vash.

"Actually, it was my brother that I came to talk to you about. I wanted to know if you have seen him lately."

"Seen...him?" The Doc asked confused, probably wondering if Knives had lost it. Again. Knives chuckled at him.

"It wasn't Vash that the feds thought they had killed at December, it was me. I had intended to die for him but it seems as if Vash didn't inherit _all_ of that miraculous luck that had protected him through all those years." Knives told him.

Upon hearing that Vash was still alive and was now free, seeing the miraculously changed man before him, and the touching confession of his sacrifice, the old man's emotions overcame him. Such an outcome he had always hoped for but had never dreamed of happening was now a reality. Unless, of course, Knives was lying to him.

But as looked at the slight smile on Knives'es face along with a weathered and wiser look, Doc knew that that simply wasn't true. He had been heartbroken over the news of December, and his grief at the news had probably set off his failing health, but this wonderful news gave him peace. Peace that he hadn't thought possible. Unnoticed, a single tear traced its way down the lines in his face.

"That's…that's good news. I-I'm glad to hear it. To hear that both of you are well. But you have lost one another? Yes?"

"Yes. I have been out of commission for a while. Vash didn't realize I was still alive and moved on. I've been trying to find him for a while now. Weeks actually." Knives said looking down, the frustration creeping back into his voice. Whenever he looked up again he was mildly surprised to see the old man smiling wilily at him.

"…I believe that I may be able to assist you." The Doc said, the shine coming back to his eyes once more.

-L&P-

The uneasy feeling of being watched pulled him away from his dream of Rem. She hadn't said anything to him, she had just excitedly looked past him to the horizon as if she were expectantly waiting for something to happen. Or someone to show. But Vash had never found out what she was looking for because of that intruding sensation. He opened his eyes to see a pair of abnormally large green ones staring right back at him.

"Nyaa." The black cat meowed happily once it saw that he was awake. It meowed again from its seat on his chest and waited expectantly. This was the third morning in a row that the cat had done this, Vash thought mildly annoyed.

"Go tell Lina you're hungry. She's the one who adopted you after all." He whispered to it, trying not to wake Meryl. The cat's response was only to yowl louder.

"I swear she should have named that thing Nicholas instead of Kuroneko." Meryl mumbled from under a pillow. "It's as loud and as pushy as him when it comes to meal times."

"It can be as loud and pushy as it wants to be…so long as it does it in Lina's room rather than ours. How it gets in here past a closed door I'll never know…" Vash said, taking the little cat and sitting up. "Alright, alright…let's get you something to eat…"

"I might as well get moving too." Meryl said, mid-stretch. "Or better than Nicholas, she should have named the thing 'alarm clock'. Same time every morning…" Vash quietly laughed at this.

The morning got moving slowly. It was a weekend, and everybody was perfectly content to stay half dressed and drowsy until their second up of coffee, or until noon, whichever came first. Millie and Wolfwood came by later than usual for breakfast. Mille was her usual self, asides from the occasional yawn, but Wolfwood was disheveled groggy mess whose vocabulary had been reduced to 'mnn' and 'uh-huh'.

"You know Nicholas, you shouldn't stay up so late working on that church of yours." Sheryl said pouring him yet another cup of coffee. "If you wear yourself out and fall ill it will only set you behind in the long run."

"Mnn."

"Things would go a lot faster if you guys let me help out you know." Lina sulked, talking though a mouthful of biscuit.

"You know perfectly well that I don't want you anywhere near construction." Sheryl shot back.

"I second that opinion." Vash threw in. "The being allowed to help I mean…" He corrected as Lina glared at him. "I'm not too bad with that sort of thing you know. Gimme a chance Wolfwood!"

"Sorry needle noggin, you're more suited for _de_struction than _con_struction."

"A _few_ little accidents and I'm branded for life." Vash whined.

"A few? Try over three hundred. I've studied your files, remember?" Meryl teased.

"Well maybe now that he's not on the run any more and has decided to take _root_ somewhere there won't be anymore accidents. And do you always have to bring up the records? Just _leaf_ him alone." Lina said mischievously, glancing over at Vash.

"You're not going to cut it out with the plant puns, are you?" He asked, propping his chin up on his fist. Ever since he had told her his story and what he really was it had been plant jokes left and right. She and Sheryl had been shocked at what he told them, but they believed and accepted him. Accepted it a little _too_ well, he thought looking at Lina.

"Oh…I'm just getting started…" She said wickedly, rubbing her hands together.

"_And_ for _your_ information…" Vash loftily began. "Most of those incidents were not my fault. It was mostly bounty hunters and the like." He said then stopped sadly, looking out the window. Bringing up the hunters and the reward also brought with it how he had been set free from it. And that spot in his heart was still too raw to approach yet. Everybody sensed the sudden turn in his mood and fell silent as well. Vash quietly excused himself and went and sat out on the porch.

How long has it been now, he wondered, staring down at his hands. It's been months yes, but how many days, hours, minuets…Time had marched on without Knives and everyone had no choice but to move along with it. But Vash had never been one to answer to time's rules. He knew that his brother was gone, but he felt stuck in the past. To him it felt as if Knives had never left but whenever reality would make itself known it was like losing him all over again.

In the time that has past, these empty buildings had become homes. He had sent out word to Grandma and Lina and the two of them had immediately set out to live with them. They all had done well in establishing themselves in the little community. No one suspected anything and the town fully welcomed them. And Wolfwood had even made a fair amount of progress on his orphanage since then. Life was moving on, but Vash couldn't seem to move along with it.

Everyone was patient with him, and for that he was extremely grateful. They never pressured him and he knew that they never would, no matter how long this lasted. But he loved them too. They were still here with him, waiting for him. And for their sakes, despite himself, he knew he was going to have to move on. He knew that he was going to have to let his brother go.

Vash wearily stood up from his spot on the porch, preparing to go join the others. He couldn't afford to sit by himself anymore. He was playing by times rules now and didn't want to waste another minuet of what he had left. Before turning to walk inside something out along the road caught his eye. Someone in the distance was coming. Considering the out of the way location of their homes, it was rare that they got visitors.

"Hey Grandma." He called into the kitchen, leaning in the doorway.

"Yes dear?" She asked, and everyone at the table turned to look at him.

"Is there any breakfast left? It looks like we're gonna have company."

"Who is it?" Meryl asked.

"Dunno yet. I'm gonna go see." He said then stepped back outside. He was going to go walk out to greet their guest but something stopped him. It was some strange feeling about this person…something…He hesitated at the steps while the tall figure neared.

"Vash?" The person called out to him. Vash froze. That voice…The man didn't call out again but kept approaching. The tall, worn yet alive, blond-haired blue-eyed man.

"…K-Knives?" Vash asked in disbelief, voice barely a whisper.

"Yeah…Long time no see, huh Vash?" Knives asked quietly, looking down at his feet. "I uh…" Knives faltered, glancing up at the stunned people gathering on the porch. "…Nice umm place...I'm…it took me a while to find you…I'm not too late to be your best man, am I?" He asked uncertainly. Instead of a reply, he was immediately taken up into a bone cracking hug.

Vash couldn't say anything to him. He couldn't speak even if he wanted to. All he could do is hold tightly to him and cry for joy, with Knives soon doing the same to him. For an amount of time unknown to them, they just stood there embracing one another, partially afraid that this was all a dream and if they let go of one another that once again they would be lost to one another.

The joyful reality soon asserted itself when the others were broke loose of the spell of stillness and ran to join the two. No one knew how the one that they thought they had lost was standing there, but at that point no one cared. The only thing that mattered was that he _was_ standing there.

-L&P-

It was quite some time before everyone managed to calm down, and even longer before they were settled enough to talk. Sheryl fussed over his ragged appearance and taxed health. Lina was in sort of a state of shock over his dramatic change in attitude. Both Wolfwood and Meryl were torn between beating him to death over what he had done or praising him for it. And Millie and Vash had become downright clingy with bouts of hugs every few minuets or so. Eventually everyone managed to get a hold of themselves and start asking Knives what had happened and why had he been away for so long.

Knives had recounted his story from the moment he had written his farewell note. Of how he had planned on getting the people riled up by upsetting the plants. He felt sorry for what he had to do to them but the situation had to be dramatic if the people were to believe Knives was who he was pretending to be. He also made it very clear to Wolfwood what he thought about him interfering and risking getting himself captured whenever he was stuck on the plant. Wolfwood who had not told the others about this, just sheepishly smiled at the disapproving stares

Reluctantly Knives told of unintentionally killing that one man. Nobody said a word about this, nothing could be said. The narration continued on with his being shot, tricking the fed into clearing Meryl, and of his last request. By this his audience was getting antsy to know how he had survived such a devastating explosion. But their impatience turned to confusion once Knives told them that he never would have if someone hadn't saved him.

Knives retrieved his small pack and almost reverently pulled out the melted remains of his gun. "I didn't think it was possible…I certainly didn't design them that way, but despite the alterations I had forced upon them, these things are not only alive…but aware." He said, setting the ruined gun down on the table and drawing its sibling.

"What? What do you mean aware?" Vash asked sharply, reaching for his gun. "How is that possible? Not once have I felt anything from it. Not once did it respond when I reached out to it." He said looking it over.

"I can't quite explain it myself, but I do have a few theories. But we can wait until later to theorize about it. What I do know is that right before the explosion it activated and shielded me…although at the expense of itself. They were meant to function with us…a plant, not on their own. I guess it burned itself out…"

"What happened after it saved you?" Millie asked him, looking down at the ruined gun and feeling sorry for it.

For some strange reason, Knives wasn't ready to tell them about Elizabeth yet. So he told them about being trapped under the rubble and found by an engineer, one of the Kantacle Union workers that he had helped in Ineperil. This was true of course but Knives left out the details that the worker was the chief engineer, a beautiful woman, and one that he had fallen madly in love with. Instead, he suggested that the person was returning the favor of saving their life. When concerns arose about the worker spilling the secret about his survival, Knives quickly assured them that he trusted the person and that they shouldn't worry.

Before the subject could be pressed further, he went on to tell everyone about his hunt for them, about all the towns he visited, Millie's home, Lina's, and finally the Doc. "That man is far craftier than I ever gave him credit for." Knives laughed. "And that's a good thing too or else I would have had that ship destroyed decades ago. With all the hell that they've had over the years tracking you down, he decided to implant a tracking device in this in the event that they needed you." He said holding up Vash'es left hand.

Vash realized what he had meant and started to laugh. And on the inside he was praising his old friend for his foresight. He asked how the old man was doing. Millie asked about her family. Knives asked about how they came to be here and what had happened after he had left. They talked and talked and talked. And whenever they were too tired to do so any longer they sill resisted sleep for fear that it all was just a happy dream.

-L&P-

A few days later everyone was still adjusting to the return of the prodigal brother. Sheryl fussed nearly incessantly about Knives'es health and his eating habits. While he had never been one to eat much, Vash noticed that his appetite was far smaller than it should have been. Lina behaved tentatively around him first, but as true to her nature, she began to regain her courage and test his buttons. And to her delight, she found that he not only could take it but he could dish it right back. Meryl took him aside one evening and had a long talk with him. When they came back they both were suspiciously red eyed. Later, Wolfwood did something similar. And Millie…well she was Millie.

For all intents and purposes everybody should have been ecstatic about the reunion, but Vash noticed that whenever he thought that no one was looking Knives would stare off into the distance, looking melancholy. And this was how he found him one afternoon, sitting at the table by himself staring down into an empty cup.

"Hey Knives, what's up? You're awfully quiet over there. Something wrong?" He asked, sitting down beside of him. Knives glanced up at him then back down to his cup.

"Yeah…I'm fine. Just lost in memories, that's all."

"You don't look fine to me." Wolfwood said, catching the snippet of conversation after having been run out of the kitchen for sneaking food. "In fact you look like someone just died." Vash shot him a look.

"You're exaggerating. And no, nobody died."

"You could have fooled me."

"Knock it off Wolfwood." Vash told him, and then he turned back to Knives. "You said that you were lost in memories…of what? Do you want to talk about it?"

"No. It wouldn't do any good. What's done is done and what's lost is lost." Knives said, swirling around the few remaining drops of his drink in his cup. There was a knock at the door soon followed by the sound of Lina tearing through the house shouting at the top of her lungs 'Ill Get It!'.

"Sorry man, I didn't mean it like that…I was just picking." Wolfwood stammered out, knowing that he had just stuck his foot in his mouth.

"I know. It's alright."

"Just out of curiosity…what did you lose? Or who?" Knives didn't answer, he just continued playing with his cup.

"Hey Knives!" Lina called loudly from the door, interrupting their conversation.

"Yes?" He called back to her.

"You've got somebody here to see you! She says her name is Elizabeth!"

Vash and Wolfwood watched in stunned silence as Knives'es eyes grew wide and he sprang up from the table knocking his chair back and ran to the door. They gave each other a look and rushed after him.

Was it her? Could it really be her? If so, how did she find him? All this ran through Knives'es mind as he ran for the door. And there…standing out just beyond the porch talking quietly with Lina…was Elizabeth, looking even more perfect than she had the last time he had saw her, if that was even possible.

"Elizabeth?" He asked quietly, wondering if he was actually seeing her or if it was all a dream.

"Knives?" She asked hopefully, looking up from talking with Lina. After a second of disbelieving hesitation, Knives rushed to her and held her tightly. She dropped everything that she had been carrying and embraced him as well, burying her face in his neck. After a moment, which was too soon for Knives, he could have held her forever, she drew back. Then to his shock she slapped him hard across the face.

"How dare you leave me like that! You should have just told me what was going on! I could have helped you look for him. And don't you think for a second Millions that you know what's best for me and my life because if you do then you have another thing coming. I love you and I don't give a damn about whatever…" The rest of her rant was silenced with a kiss. Elizabeth wanted to slap him again but instead pulled him closer. They had been away from one another for far too long. Scolding him some more could wait, this couldn't.

They slowly pulled away as they felt the weight of six pairs of eyes resting on them. The expressions of their audience on the porch ranged from amusement, to disgust, to utter glee. Ignoring the obvious fact that he was blushing, Knives turned to face them.

"Everyone this is Elizabeth Ianotti." He said taking her hand. This earned several 'awwws' from the more sentimental of the group.

"Hello." She greeted politely.

"The plant engineer I told you about that saved my life…this is her."

"Hey! I remember you!" Vash exclaimed loudly. "You're the one who…um…yeah…" He trailed off uncomfortably. Elizabeth also looked slightly embarrassed.

"I would like to apologize about that." She began. "I acted cruelly and out of vengeance with no idea of what had really happened in July. And I would also like to thank you for what you had done for me before."

"Huh?" Vash asked, oblivious. Elizabeth smiled at him.

"Perhaps that is a story for another time."

"What I want to know is how you knew to come here." Knives told her. "I've been looking for Vash for weeks, how did you find me?"

"I remember you telling me about the scientist in New Oregon that had helped you all so much, so I went to him looking for you. He told me that he hadn't seen you and with no other clues I had no choice but to give up and head back to December. But then about a week ago he got in contact with me saying that he's seen you and how I could find you." She fished around in her purse for a moment then pulled out a small tracking device. "He told me to follow this to find Vash and that you would be with him." Vash looked down at his arm as if it had just called him an insulting name.

"I'll be dammed…" Wolfwood laughed quietly.

"Well don't just stand there in the sun dear." Sheryl said. "I'm sure that you've had a long and tiring journey and would like a rest. And then we can get you settled in here."

"Oh no, I couldn't impose…"

"Nonsense dear. You're our honored guest. Anyone who Knives _obviously_ holds in such high esteem is welcome." Sheryl said with a wink, smiling at the slight blush that spread across the younger woman's face. "…But oh dear…Here I am acting like this is my home…"

"It may be our home Grandma but everyone knows that you're the boss of it." Vash laughed.

"True." She nodded, earning several laughs.

Knives gathered up Elizabeth's fallen things and ushered her on inside, chattering happily to her the whole while. Knives was so obviously smitten with her it was all Vash could do to not die right then and there of adorable overload. That was why Knives had been acting so down and hardly eating lately, Vash realized, he was lovesick. He had hoped that one day his brother would fall in love, but part of him had doubted that Knives would ever allow himself to. But apparently he had fallen, and hard. Once again the cuteness of it all was nearly fatal.

Once Elizabeth had gotten settled in and all the introductions made, they all got to hear the full version of what happened when she had pulled Knives from the rubble. When the account had been finished, a teary eyed Millie had swept up the slightly stunned woman in a huge hug and had declared the story one of the most romantic things that she had ever heard. Then she enthusiastically suggested that she and the other girls go out for ice cream and to get to know each other better, which Elizabeth accepted. She was slightly taken aback at her instant acceptance and warm reception, not used to such interactions or having close friends, but found that she enjoyed it.

After the girls had left to get better acquainted Wolfwood and Vash turned to Knives, whose look dared them to say something…which of course they took this as a challenge and the intense teasing ensued. Meryl, Millie, Lina, and Elizabeth returned later to find Wolfwood on the floor holding his side, snickering at the same time he was gasping for air and Vash begging for mercy for Knives to stop the noogie from hell, but at the same time he was trying not to laugh at the deep blush that was spread across Knives'es face.

Upon seeing that they had returned, Knives released him and had a slightly sheepish expression but also one that said that he regretted nothing. After that everyone backed off and let the two go off and talk one another like they were obviously dying to do. Hand in hand they walked off into the desert talking quietly with one another until it was time to come back for dinner. No one had said anything about the two when they had gone out to talk, the way they looked at one another said it all.

-L&P-

Vash lay out in the desert, staring up at the night sky. The sand wasn't hot anymore just pleasantly warm, helping to fight away the chill of the night air. He was alone this evening but felt far from lonely. He was out here in the desert because he wanted to be, not that he _had_ to be. The houses were still in sight in the distance and waiting for him to return after his quiet moment of reflection.

Only one of the moons were up in the sky at this time of night and the diminished light really let the stars shine. He searched out a dark patch of the sky amidst the hundreds of glittering lights. Even though it wasn't visible to the naked eye, he still knew it was there. Far out there through the vastness of space was a single star, and orbiting it was a small planet known as Earth. It was where they were all from. It was where everything had started. It was where she had called home…

"It's been a wild couple of years, hasn't it Rem?" Vash asked up into the stars. "With everything that was going on I didn't know what was going to happen or where I was headed from one minuet to the next…Although for the longest time, I didn't care where I was headed. All would be well as long as I kept moving. Kept running. Running from the bounty hunters, running from my fears, running from my past…It kept me going, but in a way…I'm glad that I wasn't fast enough. They caught up with me…and all at once it seemed!" He laughed into the night air.

"Thank you so much for guiding me, I would have been lost without you, but in the end I had to get through it on my own…like I knew one day that I would have to. And I did it Rem…I made it through. And I took care of him just like you asked me to, and I know that he'll make it though too. Especially now that she's around now for him. And I honestly think that she's here to stay. Did you know…I wonder…did you know what was going to happen? What was going to happen in the future? Or was it just what you dreamed of happening? I guess only you know the answer to that, huh Rem? I don't know if it was the kind of future you had in mind…but I can't imagine that it would be too different than what I have now. Well maybe a little cooler and a little wetter…And don't forget the red flowers!" He laughed again.

"But this…nah…I can't imagine anything being much better than this. Because whether a world has oceans of sand or oceans of water, it's still only made of two things after all…Love and peace."

**A/N:** Awww...now don't everybody love a happy ending! =^^= I want to thank everybody that has stuck with me through this fic. I've reached over 2000 hits! Wooo! But there's still the epilogue to go so don't forget about me yet! And on a completely unrelated note but I'm gonna write it anyway...I am currently posting this from the tsubasa con in Huntington WV! I'm cosplaying as Meryl (We are eerily alike, both in attitude and appearance). Once again, stick around for the epi...its less of an ending and more of a new beginning. Read to find out...:) Later!


	22. Rem

**Epilogue:**

**Rem**

The half crushed tin can sat on a rock, lined up with its siblings in a row, soaking up heat from the sun. That is, until a bullet speeding by kicked it high up into the air to land with a puff of dust on the sandy soil. The others joining it nearly instantly.

"Ohh good one…But you're aiming a little low there munchkin. You need to bring it up just a little." Vash said, sitting on a rock a few heels behind the young gunslinger.

"Oh common, that was perfect and you know it." The slim blond fifteen year old shot back playfully.

"Nuh-uh."

"Uh-huh."

"Nuh-uh."

"Uh-huh."

"Ok…ok…" Vash laughed. "It was perfect. You know you can be as stubborn as your mother sometimes."

"You bet, and I'll make sure that I tell her you said that too." The girl said with a smirk.

"Aww common Rem…don't get me into trouble. She's still fuming about me accidentally setting the kitchen on fire. Please?" He got down on his knees in a mock begging fashion. "You wouldn't betray your own father would you?" Rem thoughtfully put a finger to her lips and stared off into space as if she were seriously contemplating it. But she couldn't keep up with the act for much longer at his shocked look and broke out into a laugh.

"Oh get up Dad, I won't tell. You can be so weird sometimes."

"Ok, you've been hanging around Wolfwood or your uncle too much, although I can't tell which one…" He laughed getting up.

"Actually that was my opinion. Although Daniel says the same thing too." She said before taking a few more shots at the cans before the gun clicked on empty. She flicked back her waist length hair and holstered the gun.

"Oh _did_ he now…Well I'll just have to tell him about some of his father's past antics then we'll see who he thinks is the weird one. Although it'll have to be whenever Wolfwood is out or else I'll be on the receiving end of a death noogie."

"Daniel already thinks that he's weird enough. What is it with you and him and the strange nicknames? I've heard the two of call each other just about everything other than your first names."

"It's just this habit that we picked up whenever we first met. And then your mother and Millie started to use them too and that's how it's been ever since. But enough about the past, you still have another thirty minutes of practice left. You wanna set up the targets again while I reload or visa versa?"

"I'm already good enough dontcha think? I haven't missed a target since I was…I dunno, nine. Besides, I'd like to see you shoot for once." She said, handing over the empty derringers, and the .38, and the rifle...

"You know how I feel about that Rem." He said, holding the little gun and the littler bullets a ways away from himself to see it better. "Do me a favor kiddo and don't get old. It's not all it's cracked up to be."

"Well why not? Uncle Knives and even Mom shoot with me, but all you ever do is watch. How can somebody that knows as much as you do be bad at it? And since you refuse to shoot, why do you even carry that gun all the way out here if you're not going to use it?" She asked, pointing to the odd silver revolver setting beside of him on the rock.

"It's better to be safe than sorry. You know that." Vash said, fishing around for another bullet uncomfortable with the direction the conversation was taking. It wasn't the first time he's had to avoid that aspect of his past with his daughter, but she just wasn't ready to know yet. Not yet.

"What danger could we possibly be in with all this other firepower? Ok, if you're not going to shoot it, can I?" She asked, taking one of the other guns and loading it.

"Rem…"

"Well why not? You've always told me that I could when I got older. Now I am."

"What I said was 'when you get bigger'. Last time I checked you're still shorter than me small stuff." He told her, ruffling her hair. He got up to go set the targets himself.

"That's Moms fault!" She called to his back, making him laugh. Vash hoped that Meryl's half would be enough to balance her out so she wouldn't grow to be as tall as him, but in looking back at the tall willowy teenager he began to doubt it. Rem was almost an exact replica of him down to her hair and her eyes, only she was littler and cuter. It was probably just his genetics, although personality wise, she took more after her mother. While it was a rare thing to see, whenever Rem did get a temper, it was almost like looking at Meryl nearly twenty years ago. And then she would get even angrier whenever they all tried to hide their smirks from her. She was growing out of that now that she was getting older, but it was still funny whenever it happened.

Ever since the moment she had held his thumb in her tiny little hand she's had him wrapped around her finger. And she knew it too. He thought back to all the occasions when she was still just a little thing. How that whenever she accidentally broke something or knew that she was going to get into trouble she would always run to him first because she knew that he couldn't stand up against her tiny charm. Really, how could _anyone_ stay angry at that little green eyed thing batting her eyelashes and looking adorable?

He remembered how she used to _always_ want a piggy back ride. Even if it was just to the living room to the kitchen the trip had to be made on his shoulders. And one time Rem had insisted that he carry mommy instead and how Meryl had yelped that it was far too high and to put her down this instant. Naturally he and Rem had laughed for days about this.

There was the time when she was twelve that Daniel had put his little brother up to putting a lizard down the back of her shirt when she wasn't looking. The plan backfired on him spectacularly. First of all, Rem wasn't afraid of the little thing in the slightest. Whenever she had fished it out, she ran Daniel down, pinned him, and had noogied him until he literally cried for mercy. Vash chuckled a bit at that last one as he sat up the last few cans. These past years with her, Alex, and the ever expanding Wolfwood clan had been anything but boring.

The sense of something wrong struck him as his shadow stretched out before him because of an intensely bright light at his back. He turned around just as Rem screamed. He had been so wrapped up in memoires that he had forgotten about leaving his gun behind, and naturally his inquisitive daughter had picked it up. She tried to throw it down when it had activated it but the metal was leaching up her arm, turning it into something else. It had never responded to her before…what the _hell_ was happening…

"GET IT OFF!" She screamed in a full blown panic. She looked over to him, her eyes pleading for him to stop this ongoing nightmare. He was over by her side before he was even aware that he was moving.

"Rem! You have to listen to me! You have to tell it to stop! It won't go away on its own, you have to make it!"

"What is it! Make it stop! My arm! Make It STOP!" She cried out, trying to claw it off with her free hand. The process was happening all too quickly. The angel arm was completely formed and charging to fire. There was no way she could compose herself in time to attempt to reverse the effects. There was no other choice but for them to ride the thing through.

Wrapping one arm tightly around her, he grabbed her arm and forced it towards the heavens just as it fired.

-L&P-

Meryl whistled to herself as she hung the laundry out on the line. It was the last load of the day. How the household dirtied up so many items of clothing was completely beyond her. Rem had inherited her fathers seemingly magnetic attraction to chaos and disorder, but that was to be expected considering all her _other_ influences. But mayhem was just par for the course in the Saverem household. Now that those two were gone for a while she could get some real work done without any distractions, pandemonium, horseplay, and the such getting in her way.

It was starting to get a little lonely actually.

Meryl sighed then smirked slightly to herself. They would be back in no time and _then_ she would be wishing for peace and quiet. She picked up the last sheet out of the basket, plucked two pins out from under the paws of the cat and turned around to walk right into somebody. Startled she stumbled back and ended up falling into the basket.

"Dammit Knives, you know I hate it when you sneak up on me like that!" Meryl scolded the laughing man while she picked herself up out of the undignified position.

"I'm sorry…I couldn't resist…" He said between laughs. "You looked so out there that I couldn't pass up the opportunity. I'm sorry Meryl."

"You're bored because of that empty house I take it?" She said, picking up the sheet and dusting the sand that clung to the damp material off.

"Yeah…" He sighed, helping her pin it up. "The technical convention lasts for two more days, and then it's a weeks worth of travel to get back home. It gets really lonely without those two around. But I suppose with all the technological info that Elisabeth and I keep writing up It'll continue to be a common occurrence."

"I hate how you have to be left behind, and I'll bet it bothers her even more."

"Yeah well…I don't really have a choice in the matter. I can't risk being recognized. Alex is with her so I'm not too worried. Besides…I have to stay here and make sure this town stays in order."

"In order?" She laughed. "Knives…even if you did leave for a few days no one in this town would dare cause a stir because they know you would find out about it. Ever since you stepped up for the position of sheriff the crime rate has been what…_negative_ ten percent?" Knives chuckled a little at this.

"An exaggeration but flattering non-the-less. I never would have taken the job if Vash hadn't pestered me into it, but now I'm kinda glad he did. It feels nice to be on the right side of the law for once."

"Now don't you even go down that road mister." Meryl threatened while fighting a smile. "You start that again and I'll make sure that Elizabeth knows and then you'll _really_ be sorry."

"I always know when I'm in trouble for something whenever she uses my first name. That's my cue to run and hide over here."

"You are as bad as Vash, you know it." She said in disbelief, much to his amusement. "I wouldn't be surprised…" Whatever she was going to say was instantly forgotten as a bright light appeared on the horizon. It seemed to suck in all other ambient light around it darkening the sky, leaving only its scorching luminescence.

"It can't be…" Meryl managed to whisper, flashing back to years and years ago.

"Get down!" Knives shouted tackling her to the ground and using himself to shield her just as the light streaked up into the sky and the shockwave hit them a second later. There was silence first and then a defining roar as the world around them shuddered violently. Then as abruptly as it began, it ceased. Tentatively, the two on the ground looked up, surprised to still be alive after being this close to the blast. The house was still intact, except for the windows facing the focal point of the explosion. Everything appeared to be normal…except for the eerie silence in the air and the angry inflamed look of the sky which was quickly fading.

The shock of what just happened faded and Meryl whirled to face Knives, clutching at his jacket. "How! What Happened? How was that even possible! I thought he couldn't use that godforsaken thing anymore! What went _wrong_?"

Knives gently pried her hands off of him. "I don't…believe that it was Vash that did that…" He quietly said, not looking her in the eye. After a moment what he said sunk in for her.

"…Rem?" A silent nod. "No…no no no no no…." She ran off into the desert nearly hysterical with Knives only steps behind wearing an almost agonized expression.

Several minuets into their run a hazy figure began to come into sight on the horizon, walking towards them. As they approached the allowed themselves a breath of relief as they recognized Vash. He looked a little worse for the wear and had nearly his entire right hand bandaged…and they noticed with a sickening feeling of dread the unmoving form he cradled in his arms.

-L&P-

Rem sat straight up in bed, the nightmare still lingering in the edges of her vision and a scream threatening to escape from her. Frantically she looked down at her hands: normal, soft, human hands not some twisted metallic yet flesh-like appendage that spat forward death. Desperate, she patted the rest of herself down to make sure she was still her but was stopped by the same voice that had always chased off the other nightmares.

"It's ok Rem…You're home now."

She looked over, realizing by the bright moonlight that indeed that she was in her own room, to see her father sitting in the desk chair by her bed looking as reassuring as he could yet so tired at the same time, her mother sitting beside him on the desk itself quietly apprehensive, and leaning against the dresser on the far wall was her uncle, arms crossed and head bowed.

Rem looked at each of them again then down at her right hand. She saw the faint signs of scratch marks where she had tried to pry that…thing off of her. Proof, along with the solemn gathering, that it hadn't been a dream. Proof that she shouldn't try to deny that it had happened, but rather find out what it had been.

"What was that…?" She asked in a small quavering voice. "What happened back there…what was that thing?"

"It's called the angel arms." Knives spoke up quietly. "It's a weapon of supreme destructive power with the sole purpose of exterminating humanity."

"How…how do you know that?"

"Because I'm the one who created it." He told her flatly. Rem just stared at him in disbelief, wondering who exactly that person was over on the other side of the room because it certainly wasn't the uncle Knives she knew.

"We have something important to tell you, your mother, Knives, and I…" Vash began, pulling her attention away from her uncle who refused to look at her. "We were waiting until you were eighteen to tell you but considering the circumstances of earlier today, its time that you know now."

"W-what is it? What do you have to tell me and what does it have to do with what happened today? You all are starting to scare me a little." She said, smiling nervously. He just sighed.

"Rem, how old do I look to you?"

"What? What does that have to do with anything?"

"Just answer me…how old do you think I am?"

"I uhh…I don't know…mid to late thirties?"

"I may look that way sweetheart but really I am a hundred and fifty three years old. Your uncle too. We were born a year before humanity landed on this planet." Rem just stared at him. She looked from him to Knives to her mother and back again, as if she were expecting one of them to drop the charade and laugh at their little joke. Vash continued. "The reason that we were able to live as long as we have is because…we're not human. We're plants."

"And you Rem, are both." Meryl said, speaking up for the first time. "You are a mix of plant from your father and human from me. And it is because you are half plant were you able to fire that weapon known as the angle arm in the first place. It can only function with plant energy."

"And thankfully because you are only half plant the angle arm didn't nearly have the amount of output that it was designed for." Knives said. "If it were fired at full power, this very area would be nothing but a crater…Just like July, Augusta, the moon, and Demitrihi. And just like then it would all be my fault..." Rem was speechless. What was he saying? "Even though I knew this day would come, I just wish it didn't have to be so soon…" Knives continued on. "There are things in my past that I never wanted you to know. You have only known me as I am now, its something that I've always been thankful for, and I wish like hell that you didn't have to know what I was. But in order to know the truth you have to know the past…even if you won't like what you hear."

"Uncle Knives…what are you talking about? What do you mean? Please quit talking like that."

"And there are some things about my past that you probably won't want to hear either, but please let the both of us explain before you start jumping to conclusions." Vash said, mercifully taking her focus off of his brother.

"Jump to what conclusions?" Rem snapped suddenly. She was confused, hurt, frustrated, and they were only making things worse! "You guys haven't even told me anything yet! Except…except that you say that you're over a hundred years old and that you…and me…are not human! And you Uncle…What the _hell_ am I supposed to make of that?"

"You watch your mouth young lady." Meryl scolded sharply.

"I guess that the best place to start is to tell you my name. My real name. Richard Saverem is just a false name to hide behind. The so called 'nickname' that everyone calls me…_is_ my real name. It's Vash…and yes…the same one you're thinking of."

She stared at him horrified. The destroying demon that had wreaked havoc upon the word decades ago that every child learned of from bedtime stories was…sitting right in front of her? Was…

"No. No! I don't know why all of you are telling me this but I've had enough! Now I want an explanation about all this and it had better be a darn good one and…"

"_Rem_." Meryl said, stopping the rant before it could get too wound up. Then she turned to Vash and told him. "Tell her. Tell her where she got her name."

"You mean Grandma Rem? You've told me about her dozens of times."

"I've told you what she was like, but have I ever told you who she was, where she came from, what she did?" He asked her quietly. Rem thought quickly for a second then sighed in defeat. No. He hadn't. She pulled her blankets around herself tighter and waited for that explanation that she badly needed.

For the fourth time in his life Vash told the story of how they came to be, the seeds ship, the betrayal, and the crash landing on this planet. He had to tell it on his own because Knives refused to speak a word of it. Not far into the story Rem turned away from them all to face the window, but not before a single tear was caught in the moonlight. But she said nothing so he took it as a sign to continue.

Everything. Everything that had happened he told her. Whenever he got around to the right age, Meryl began contributing to the story as well. The cities, the gung-ho guns, the dual, them turning to humanity, they told her all. Before they progressed much further though the faintest of whispers silence them.

"…why?" Rem said, still looking out the window clutching her blanket tightly. Taken by surprise, Vash faltered in his narration. Rem slowly turned around but she didn't look at him. "How could you?" She asked just as quietly. Knives tugged down his sleeves and finally looked up at her.

"Because I was wrong. But I thought that I was right. And I…I…I remember the day you were born…and when _I_ got to hold you for the first time. I remember I couldn't do it. I had to ask someone to take you from me. It didn't feel right…holding you with such stained hands. I remember I couldn't get them to quit shaking hours afterwards." He said quietly, rubbing at his wrists. Rem knew what was hidden under his sleeves, and that he only did that when he was under severe amount of stress. She wasn't sure what to make of his little story or what it had to do with his actions. She didn't know what to make of him anymore. She didn't know who he was. She wasn't sure she even wanted to anymore.

"It hurt so much to even be around you, your new innocent life a glaring reminder of what my life was. But…" To Rem's shock he actually began to laugh. "But you must have seen something in me that I didn't see myself, because you never minded my torn soul. In fact…hahahaa for nearly the first two months of your life you would only want _me_ to hold you. Anybody else you would fuss and scream bloody murder, but with me you went right to sleep. Oh your parents _hated_ me for it. Hahaahaa I had to move into your living room for a while there. And I…I've always dreaded the day I had to tell you the truth, the truth that's making you recoil away from me now like you should have then. And I pray for the day, if it comes, that you forgive me and let me hold you again." Rem turned away from him uncomfortably, not sure what to say to that.

"Please don't judge your uncle for what he has done, he's different now. To stay bound to the past is to never move on to the future." Meryl told her, fishing around in her pocket for something. "And besides he's not the only one in here who has a past that they would rather keep secret." She said handing a folded up tattered piece of paper to her. Rem took it hesitantly and unfolded it. It was a wanted poster with the name Meryl Stryfe written boldly across it. Twenty million…

"You too Mom?" She whispered, fighting against the tears threatening to form.

"Yes dear. I became a wanted felon in order to help your father and perhaps save January from the fate of Augusta and July. I've had to change my name too and go into hiding."

"And what about you Dad?" Rem asked bitterly, thrusting the wanted poster away from herself. "What _else_ are you not telling me? I've heard the stories, stories of the humanoid typhoon that was out to destroy the world. The cities might have been because of Uncle Knives but what about the rest huh? I don't know who any of you are anymore!"

"Munchkin…most of the stories you've heard are just that…stories. Do you have any idea how many copycats there have been using my name to make a name for themselves? Tragedies, unexplained events, misfortune…it was all blamed on me because there was no one else to blame. Because of July my name equaled misery and misfortune…but that's not who I was then and its not who I am now. The stories say I was out to destroy the world, but really I was out to save it. I always tell you that very single life has value, even if none can be found at that moment. I believe that now just as much as I did then…and I have the scars to prove it…"

Rem looked down at her hand uncomfortably. She ran her thumb over the small scar she had on one finger because of a broken window. That little scar was nothing compared to what she had seen on her father. He never had before told her how he got them all. It was always something that he and her mother said that they would tell her whenever she got older. He had always been so careful to hide his scars from her. He even refused to wear short sleeved shirts because it showed the multitude of scars on his right arm and the fact that the left one was false altogether. She remembered the day she had first seen them. She had only been four

That one day he had been shuffling through the laundry for a new shirt after Kuro had caused him to spill coffee all down his front. She remembered just standing there in shock. He had finally noticed her and her horrified stare. The hurt look that he had on his face at her reaction broke through her paralysis and she had mumbled out an apology and had made a hasty retreat. She had run straight to her mother who had managed to sooth and explain it enough to let him near her again. Eventually things went back to normal, but she never really had forgotten nor had her curiosity been satisfied. Not until now.

"So that's how." Rem said, more to herself than to him. "You really got all of those because you were actually trying to save people…not the other way around?"

"Yes." Vash told her. Rem could hear the relief in his voice.

"None of the stories had said anything like that…You've really never killed anyone?" She asked and was taken aback when a strange look passed over his face as he looked away. "You haven't, right?" She asked again, not so certain this time.

"It was not his fault." Knives said vehemently, startling her. "He was forced and is not to blame."

"I may have been forced Knives but that doesn't change the fact that I still pulled the trigger." Vash said angrily, turning away from her to Knives. "So yes, it is my fault."

"No. It is _not _Vash!"

"I know what you're doing Knives and its not going to work. Just because you sent him does not mean you can take the blame for this. He made his choice and I made mine. I _won't_ have you feeling guilty for our decisions."

"He _had_ no choice! I _forced_ him!"

"Hey." Rem said timidly, interrupting the escalating argument. They both stopped and looked at her. "What…what I really want to know is how everyone ended up here. I mean…the legend says that you died nearly twenty years ago Dad."

"I'll be right back." Knives said, and left the room. Rem sadly watched him go.

"I probably would have wound up dead, your mother too, if it hadn't been for Knives. I told you he had changed…and to repent for his sins and to save my life he decided to give up his."

Once again her perceptions of her family was twisted around and flipped upside down. Picking up where they had left off when she had interrupted them last, her parents continued to tell her the long and nearly unbelievable tale. Shortly after her uncle returned carrying what appeared to be a twisted lump of metal. When the story had neared the end Knives took it over. He told her of what he planned to do and why. Showing her the gun, the dead twin of the silver one she had fired today, he told her what he had done, how he was spared, and how he had met her aunt.

"Now that we all were free, we changed our names for further protection and moved out here. Finally able to live in peace. Finally able to live normal lives." Knives told her, her parents agreeing with him.

"How?" Rem heatedly asked, taking them aback. "How can you expect to live normal lives, you're not normal. We'll at least you are Mom, but not you two. You're not human. You're plants."

"Yes. We are Rem." Her father told her. "But like we told you, thanks to an old friend of mine we're now able to live and age normally. No longer worrying about living forever. Although like I said, getting old kinda sucks…"

"You maybe, but what about _me_?" She cried. "What am _I_? What am I going to become? Am I going to end up living on and on and on? And Alex too. When are you going to tell him what he is Uncle? When are you going to tell him about _you_?" Knives sighed and looked away.

"…You're not old enough to remember this…but Alex is not my biological son. We, your aunt and I, decided to adopt a child after her second miscarriage. Don't get me wrong, I love Alex like he was my own and would do anything for him, even die for him. But we want another…we want a child that is from her and I. But this is our last try before we adopt again…this time we're hoping…"

"I never knew…" Rem whispered softly. Alex looked, and acted, so much like her uncle that she never suspected a thing. He and Daniel had been the best friends for as long as she could remember and were always giving each other hell. But perhaps, Rem thought, her cousin was the lucky one after all. He had gotten a good loving home when otherwise he would have been abandoned to the streets and he didn't have this unusual cross to bear that she now found weighing down on her back.

"We understand Rem that it is a great shock to find out what your uncle and father are, and what you are as well. But that is part of what makes you so special. Not only are you truly unique, you are also lucky to be alive after all."

"What do you mean?"

"You once asked me why you didn't have any brothers and sisters like all the ones that Daniel had, well it was because I was lucky enough to survive having you at all. Humans and plants were never meant to mix."

"I almost died when I was born?"

"The both of you almost did." Knives said quietly, sadly, remembering the two he had lost. "Remember when I was teaching you about plants Rem and their differences from humans, particularly their rate of growth? You were born after only five months, but you were the same size as a baby after nine months. It nearly killed your mother and the fact that you developed at all was a miracle. You got lucky in the game of genetic roulette."

"But…but I grew up normal. I remember…me, Daniel, and Alex would have little competitions every birthday to see who has grown the most over the course of the year. I grew up just like they did. Normal."

"Other than the rapid growth those first few months of your life, most of your plant characteristics have exhibited themselves mentally." Vash told her. "You were talking in complete sentences when other children your age just drooled. Other than that and your intuition, which is just your physic abilities manifesting themselves, you have never shown anything too out of the ordinary. We soon realized that you would grow up to be a normal girl."

"But I'm not!" Rem shouted again, startling them. "That…that thing on my arm today proves that I'm not! What do I do? What am I supposed to do with my life if I don't even know what I am? I don't know what I am…"

"Rem…"

"Please…just leave. All of you. I have…a lot to think about…" She said, curling in on herself and turning to her window. Slowly, she felt her uncle leave. Her mother was hesitant, but soon after her and her father sadly left. Leaving her alone. Leaving her confused. Leaving her afraid.

Rem stared out of the window up at the sky, her knees tightly hugged to her chest. Everything that they had told her…it was just too much. Too much to believe. Too much to think about. Too much to understand. But even as a part of her told her that it was all just an elaborate lie, that they would come back in and have a good laugh because she fell for their little prank, another part told her it was true.

She couldn't explain how she knew what she did, but she knew that every word of it all was the honest truth. She could just feel it somehow. But if all of that was true…where did that leave her? She wasn't human, she was something…else. Thinking back on her life, Rem pondered over how she had always felt different. Not left out or rejected, just different. Like her sixth sense about whenever the younger children were about to get into trouble, or how she never had a problem with school work even though she had skipped several grades. In fact, she was learning the ins and outs of plant engineering from her aunt and from Knives. Even though she had never seen a proper plant, she understood the stuff easily.

"Know thyself..." She muttered humorlessly. Now that she knew the truth of what she was, and that the shock of it all was beginning to wear off some, she was now beginning to get curious as to what all she could do. But an even bigger question floating around in her mind was…what exactly would she do with that knowledge?

A tinking noise on her cracked window caught her attention. Rem looked down from the sky to see Daniel doing his best to hide in the sparse shadows with a handful of pebbles. Rem pried open the window as silently as she could.

"What do you want Daniel? It's late you know." She whispered as loudly as she could down to him.

"I'm not even supposed to be out tonight." He quietly called up to her, brushing his shaggy black hair out of his eyes. "Mom and Dad's completely freaked about what happened earlier today. They wouldn't let anyone out of the house after that…the…the…_whatever_ it was that happened. I overheard that it had something to do with you and I wanted to check and see if you were alright. Can I come up Rem?"  
"Alright, but be _quiet_! Remember what happened last time they caught you sneaking around."

"Yeah…" He said, climbing up and hoisting himself up over the window seal. "You know I don't think I've been able to sit down properly ever since. Defiantly screwed up something back there." Rem had to fight back a laugh. No matter how down she was feeling at the moment, he always had a way about him that would cheer her up immediately. It was one of the reasons why she cared so much for him.

"So spill it Rem…What the hell happened to day that has everybody so freaked out?" Daniel asked, settling into a cross legged position at the foot of her bed.

"I doubt you would believe me if I told you. You would probably think that I'm crazy."

"Oh yeah? Well it can't be as crazy as what Mr. Matthews was going on about earlier."

"Hmm?"

"Well he comes busting in the house, didn't even knock, and started rambling on about July and Augusta and the legend Vash the Stampede. And because of that stupid nickname of your dad's they're going to blame Richard for it."

"They're gonna go after Dad?"

"Yeah. I heard him myself. Said that they're gonna come by first thing in the morning. Mom got pissed and threw him clear out of the door. She's scary when she's angry…"

Rem paused, thinking hard for a moment. "Daniel…I've got two very big favors to as you, and if you care about me at all you'll promise me that you'll do them. Ok?"

"Anything Rem." He said, looking slightly hurt. "You shouldn't even have to worry about the promise, you should already trust me."

"Ok, ok…First of all…I have something important to tell you, something you won't want to believe, but I swear it's the truth and I want you to know it too. Just promise to hear me out until I'm done, alright?"

"Promise. And the next thing?"

"It's probably going to get you into a world of trouble…but I want you to stay here with me tonight." Daniel just looked at her with a dumbfounded expression, until there was the slight tug of a smile on his face. "It's not like _that_ you doofus." She said smacking him lightly across the face. "I have a plan for tomorrow morning, but I need some backup. And…I need someone nearby to help give me the nerve that I'm gonna need."

"I promise…" He said quietly, giving her a quick peck on the cheek. "Now…what's this plan and what is it that you have to tell me?"

-L&P-

Rem walked silently down the stairs with Daniel trailing a little less silently behind her. They had saw from her window the group approaching in the distance and she knew that it was about show time. The talk last night with Daniel had not gone over too well at first. Initially he had thought that it was a load of bull that she was making up to avoid telling him the truth. Eventually she had gotten angry at him and reminded him of his promise to hear her out, to which he reluctantly agreed.

She recounted to him everything that had happened that afternoon and everything that she had been told. When she felt him become more believing as the narration went on Rem also began to tell him all the reasons that she believed it to be the truth on a personal level, such as the strange little things she could do or knew without even trying. After a quiet moment of trying to process that to a degree his girlfriend and the men he knew as uncles were not human but engineered super-life forms, and true to the nature of teenage boys, he immediately forgot all of that and began to chatter on excitedly about sixty billion double dollar bounties, secret identities and double lives, and about the fact that _he_ lived next door to and knew _him_.

She listened for a while with an exasperated smile until she had had enough and reached over and pinched his lips shut. Taking advantage of the momentary silence, Rem began to explain how what she had done today now jeopardized her father's secret and possibly his life and she also explained to him what exactly she had in mind to fix her unintentional mistake.

He had listened solemnly and vowed to do whatever it took to help her and her family out. After that there was not much to say and had kept a vigil for anyone approaching through the night. And now that they were coming, it was time…

Rem peeked around the doorway to see her parents, Daniels father, and her uncle sitting at the kitchen table, grave and silent. They looked as if they had been there all night, wondering what to do about the upcoming situation, what to do about the future, what to do about her. She cleared her throat and stepped into sight. The four of them looked up as one; once they saw her they seemed to become even grimmer.

"Rem dear…" Meryl began quietly. "I know you probably want to talk about everything that happened yesterday, but I'm afraid that something's come up…And I would rather you stay in your room until it's over."

"My room? Why?"

"Because munchkin…Wolfwood got wind that trouble is going to be on its way over this morning and I don't want you around for it. I would feel better if I knew that you were safe in your room."

"But…"

"I'm going to do my best to dissuade them, but I highly doubt they would respect my authority as sheriff anymore because we're brothers." Knives said, pushing aside the long empty coffee cup. Rem noted that not once did he look up to meet her eyes.

"Nor my influence as minister because we're close as well." Wolfwood said, the long-unused cross now currently leaning against the door.

"Rem has an idea; you all should trust her to take care of it." Daniel said, finally stepping into sight.

"Daniel, what in the world…" Wolfwood began, surprised. "What the hell are you doing here when your mother and I said not to leave the house?"

"Well…I uhh…I overheard everything and climbed up to tell Rem. You know…to warn her…"

"What?"

"You've been up there in her room all _night_?" By now Daniel was sweating bullets. Knowing that there was going to be hell to pay later, Rem stepped up and pulled everybody back to the situation at hand.

"Daniel told me everything that's happened and visa versa. We came down to tell you that they're coming." A single gunshot rang out outside. "Speak of the devil…" She muttered.

"We know you're in there and we know who ya are! So just come on out!" A loud voice cried out from beyond their front porch. The four at the table rose and turned to go face the unavoidable. Her parents paused and turned back to her.

"Rem, you take Daniel and go on back to your room." Meryl told her.

"But…"

"_Now_." Vash told her with an air of finality then they left outside.

Daniel turned and looked at her as if to say 'now what?' Rem turned and watched where they had walked out of the door. She clenched her fists and stood up straighter. She refused to back down, to either her family or the growing mob.

"Let's do this." Rem told him.

-L&P-

"Now are you going to come quietly or do we have to do this the hard way?" The ring leader said, leveling his rifle at the long lost threat of humanity standing there on the porch looking slightly confused.

"What the _hell_ do you all think you are doing!" Knives demanded in the most severe voice he could muster. Quite a few of the men stepped back but they didn't retreat. "I demand that you all stop this nonsense at once!"

"That's right. Do unto others, remember? Care to explain what's got you folks all riled up for?" Wolfwood asked causally, but tension was clearly visible from him.

"Don't the two of you even start…We know that you're with him!" There was a chorus of agreement from the increasingly exited mob. A few more rounds went up into the air to emphasize their point.

"Now…are you going to come willingly _Richard_ or will we be forced to execute justice right here and now?"

"Well…I sure would appreciate you telling me what I did wrong." Vash said good-naturedly, putting his hands up in the air. "But I think I would remember doing something that would warrant this kind of response. Unless it was that accident in the saloon the other night. I'm really sorry about that one guys…"

"Shut up!" Another round, this one embedding itself into one of the banisters on the porch causing him to flinch. Vash reached around and pushed Meryl to stand behind him. "One more word from you and I swear…"

"What. The _Hell_. Is all the shooting for!" Rem loudly demanded marching out of the house, still in her pajamas and looking very groggy and irritable. "Do you have any _idea_ what time it is?"

"Rem get back in the house now!"

"Why? So the trigger happy firing squad can launch an assault on my eardrums again?"

"_Rem.._."

"Hey Mr. Matthews!" Daniel called out to the group, walking out onto the porch with a cup of coffee in one hand to strengthen his misleading projection of casualness. "I hope Mom didn't hurt you too badly yesterday. I know you flew at least five feet. Whadja you do to tick her off so bad?"

Matthews visibly cringed at the memory of an infuriated Millie. Normally, she would get very aggressive whenever she felt her loved ones threaten, but to threaten her family while she was five months along was to unleash a raging overly hormonal bringer of death. Matthews knew he was lucky to have gotten out of there with all of his limbs intact. He shuddered again.

"Get back inside son, you too Rem." The ringleader of the group said, the head of the convenience store and supposed long time friend of all three families. "We don't want to hurt any of ya, but we have to protect ourselves. I don't know how you did it back in December, but you're not getting away with it any longer Vash the Stampede…" There was a long tense silence but the sound of hard laughter cut through it like butter.

"Aha…ha…hahahahahaaa!" Daniel burst out nearly doubling over. Nearly thirty pairs of eyes rested on the hysterically laughing teenager. Finally he regained his breath enough to talk. "You…you think Richard…is Vash the Stampede? Hahahaa! Oh that's _rich_! Because of a nickname you now think that the guy that is petrified of thomas'es is mankind's first localized disaster? What are you people _on_? Seriously, Richard can barely tie his boots without tripping over. What makes you think he's destroyed two cities? And don't _even_ get me started on what happened to that construction site for the new schoolhouse." Daniel said, then broke out into laughter again. Vash gave him a slightly sour look as if to say 'ok…that's enough'.

"Daniel…" Rem said irritably, giving him a look. She turned away from him and glared at the gathering in front of her house. "I think I know what this is all about…Because of that explosion yesterday you think that the humanoid typhoon is back, even though he's been dead for nearly twenty years. A ghost outlaw. Oooh scary…" She mocked, waving her hands in the air.

"Listen little girl…I was one of the people that fled Augusta. I _saw_ that blast from our shelter in the mountains. It was nearly exactly the same. So don't you dare tell me what to think."

"Oh really?" she snapped back. "Do you know how many lost ships there are out there? Dad and Uncle Wolfwood even found one once. Aunt Elizabeth told me that phenomena like this happen because the plants on those abandoned ships overload because of lack of maintenance. If she were here right now she could list every single one of those events to you. A blast just like yesterday. Now don't you think that that is a more probable explanation than my _father_, who has shown every single person in this town nothing but _Friendship_ and _Kindness_ being the long dead infamous murderous _outlaw_!" Rem said verging on shouting, working up a fine temper. "How many of you has he gone out of his way to help without asking for a single c cent in return? Huh? What about when there was that fire and he helped make sure everyone was out? Or when there was something in the well and someone had to climb down and clear it even though there was the possibility of drowning whenever the blockage was removed and Dad did it so no one else had to be in danger? Dose he sound _anything_ like the man from the legend?"

"But we know what we saw! And his name!"

"So that's it huh? You're hung up on a teasing nickname? Alright then…let's say that Dad _is_ the real Vash the Stampede." Rem said to everyone's shock. Her father looked down at her questioningly. Rem ignored him and walked down off the porch to face the mob directly. "The destruction of the city of July happened in the year zero one oh four. Right? Forty eight years have passed since that day. Assuming that he was _twelve_ when he did it, and that's pushing it people, that would still make him _sixty_ years old! Now unless there's something severely wrong with my eyes, he hardly looks a day over forty."

"(Do I really look that old?)" Vash whispered. Meryl elbowed him to shut him up.

"Do you people see now how ridiculous this is? You are just wasting your time here when you should be looking for the real reason for that event yesterday. You all should be ashamed of yourselves!" Rem spat scathingly. She glared down at the small gathering in front of her and dared them to challenge her logic. One by one their gazes dropped, and they began to turn away. A few mumbled out vague apologies while others simply refused to meet their gaze. Only when they all had left did Rem lean against the railings with a deep sigh of relief. She was suddenly embraced from behind and lifted up into the air with a slight 'oof'.

"That…was so…_Awesome_!" Daniel gushed, swinging her around some.

"Put me down you goober!" Rem managed to say with what little air she was getting.

"You just talked down a mob of angry men without even batting an eyelash! That had to have been about the coolest thing I've ever seen!" He said sitting her down and giving her a kiss. Someone behind them cleared their throat, causing the two to break apart, blushing.

"Like father like daughter…" Wolfwood smiled, shaking his head.

"Rem." Vash called, quickly walking down the steps to meet her. "I…I don't know what to say…"

"Dad." She breathed out in relief, embracing him hard. "I'm so glad…I was afraid that it wouldn't work…I didn't want them to take you, not for something you didn't deserve. You're a better person than that and those people are blind not to see it."

"I owe you big time munchkin." He whispered to her, relived that she hadn't gotten herself hurt.

"I don't blame you for not telling me sooner…You didn't have to tell me at all but you did. And it must have been so hard…" She said burying her face in his chest. "And as for what I am…I don't blame you for that either. You had as much of a choice about how you were born as I did. And besides…what's that that you and Uncle Knives are always telling me… 'It's not _what_ you are, but _who_ you are'…I understand now. And I want to know everything…the _whole_ story this time, and not just the quick and ugly version. I want to know and understand why you are who you are…and I want to be the same too. I love you."

"Aww I love you too sweetheart…But really, the only person you should be like is you. Because nobody out there is as nearly _adorable_ and _cute_ as you are. Yes you are. _Yeees_ you are." He cooed, smooshing up her cheeks and making baby noises. Daniel just stared at him with one eyebrow raised.

"You are so _weird_." She said, swatting him away. She looked up at the porch and saw her mother and Uncle Wolfwood smiling proudly down at her. And her uncle Knives.

Rem turned away from her father and boyfriend and walked up the steps to stop right in front of her uncle. He looked down at her calmly, but Rem could feel the sorrow and regret deep inside of him. And the growing fear of what her response would be. After a long moment of staring at one another Rem stepped back and held her arms out to him.

"Huh?" Knives asked, taken aback.

"You prayed for this day, didn't you?" Rem asked him with a smile. "You said that you wanted to hold me again, so here I am. Waiting." Knives stared at her a moment, then finally understood her gesture of forgiveness. Tearing up, he embraced her and she held him back just as tightly.

"I know who you are…" Rem whispered so that only he could hear her. "But I'll never know how you got to be such a person, one I look up to more than I can say, without knowing who you _were_. But only when you're ready to tell me Uncle Knives."

"Thank you." He whispered back, giving her a kiss on the cheek. She held onto him more tightly for a moment then released him. The relief she felt coming from his soul was like cool water on a hot day. This feeling that she had now…of helping, saving, and protecting others…it made her feel like she had never felt before. It was a feeling that she wanted more of. The feeling of doing what was right despite all costs…it made her life feel worthwhile, it presented a purpose for her rather than just being. She wanted more…

Rem turned to look at her mother, who looked as if she were torn between praising Rem for what she had done or scolding her for doing something so reckless. Rem laughed and rubbed the back of her neck nervously. Vash and Daniel joined the rest of them on the porch and hey all turned to head back inside, but not before Vash put his arms around both her and Daniel's shoulders and said, "Now you two tell me about Daniel staying in your room _all_ last night…"

_**Fini**_

**A/N: **Well that's it folks! It took me nine months to write this bad boy but I'm glad I've done it. Originally the story was going to be just the epilogue with all the events summed up and told to Rem, but so much would have been left out. Eventually I relented and gave into writing it, even though I knew it was going to be huge. A mere summary would no where near justify explaining the growth and development that these characters went through. The focus throughout this story shifted from Meryl, to Vash, to Knives (who by the way, stole the show, sneaky booger. My best friend has started a Knives fan club).

I tried my best to keep a balance between action and romance, comedy and philosophical topics, just as they did in the anime. It truly is a pity that fewer and fewer people are watching Trigun nowadays, but to me it will always remain the number one anime of all time. This huge fan-fiction is a testament to my fandom, as well as the Trigun tattoo I have on my foot (it's the agl arms logo on my ankle, I love it!).

And before any of you ask…no, I will not be writing a sequel to this. Nowhere in the conceivable future that is. If you have any questions you want to ask about anything I have left out, feel free to message me, I'm always up for talking Trigun and my work.

And just as I promised in chapter eight, I'll tell about the mystery quote. I don't really blame anybody for not picking it up. It was really well hidden and not many people read the classics anymore. The quote was from Knives who said when talking to Wolfwood: "Perverseness is one of the primitive impulses of the human heart—one of the indivisible primary facilities, or sentiments, which give direction to the character of man." It was a quote from Edgar Allen Poe's work "The Black Cat". Given Kuronekos appearance in every single chapter (something I had fun doing), I got a kick in wedging that in there.

That about sums it up for me people. Thank you all who have been following me through this story and I hope that you have enjoyed it! My name is Rain Rhinholtz and all I have left to say is: "Love and Peace!"


End file.
